Original subtitles

It's a long way from anywhere you've ever been before.

Got to get your act together, we're not sure.

Well, now, our second group meeting of the term.

We survive, we survive.

And how nice it is to see you all together.

Our little team, eh?

Dr. Dacre there, looking very pink and well.

Early morning sexual intercourse, no doubt.

No, no, really.

Jogging. Too bad.

And we have an innovation today.

Maureen is with us.

We didn't get a chance to consult you, Bob. I think you were called away

urgently to the golf course.

But Rosemary, supported by Stephen here, proposed that our little meetings

should include on us as a matter of custody.

Democracy. And keen personal pleasure.

I take it you have no objection?

Oh, not at all.

Not as if you had anything else to do, is it, Maureen?

Now, we have weathered the October crisis, the onslaught of another

year.

Bob has some figures for us culled from his rinky -dinky little computer.

Bob. Thanks, Jock.

Um, do you think you can manage Robert?

I'll try, Bob.

Old habits die hard.

Right.

Well, the only statistically significant element relates to the new intake, the

freshers. No suicides.

No nervous breakdowns requiring hospitalization and withdrawals are down

That's really good.

Well, as you know, I believe in weeding out the no -hopers right from the word

go, but you could look on the bright side and see it as a productivity gain.

Indeed you could, a gain in human happiness.

I wonder where we should look for the explanation.

Well, it's obvious, isn't it?

Dr. Dacre replacing Dr. O 'Hara.

Oh, no, I'm sure.

A little simplistic, perhaps.

I don't think you're aware of all the factors, Maureen.

I think I am.

The factors are they were all asking for him after that talk he gave.

He's got a nice way with them.

O 'Hara had quite a nice way with Freshers, too, remember?

Yes, and we all know what way that was.

Maureen, when we invited you to join our meetings, we didn't quite envisage you

taking them over completely.

Now, the vice -chancellor is already being for more cuts.

More economies, more redundancies.

How do we respond?

We resist, Jock, as we always do.

Ah, the optimism of youth.

I, for one, feel more and more like an unproductive pit. However, Bob, I

understand, has some suggestions provided by his ever -ready computer.

Right.

First, sickbay.

It's not cost -effective. For half the year, it's idle plant.

When it's being used, it's disproportionately labour -intensive.

glandular fever cases and other malingerers. There's a strong case for

it up. Use the facilities for something useful.

And I have a patient there now, which is why I can't stay and listen to any more

of this stupidity.

One thing that none of you seem to realise, you in particular, is that we

people to be ill, otherwise we'd none of us have any jobs.

Oh, excuse me.

That's the last of your meetings I'm coming to as well.

Women.

Still, you have to love them, don't you? Oh, sorry, Rosemary.

Present company accepted.

Right, Mrs. Kramer, I will take any of you here for jabs or dressings with or

without an appointment.

For the rest, you might as well go home for all the joy you'll get this morning.

Yes, I've just come to the same conclusion.

Please present Professor Fury's compliments to Jock McCannon and tell

his practice is a bloody shambles.

You should have made an appointment, Professor Fury.

Like these poor bastards, you mean.

Good day to you.

The other area I'd like to mention is academic staff, wives and families of.

Do you realise that we actually spend more time on lecturers' families than we

do on the lecturers?

Particularly the wives.

And amongst the wives, particularly the wives of senior lecturers, readers and

professors. Really?

That's extraordinary.

Doesn't surprise me in the least.

Nor me, me lass, nor me.

Wives of great men.

Who would be a great man's wife?

Anyway, the point is, if we're looking for a package of cuts, the obvious areas

are Maureen, the sick bay, and academic families.

Now, that would leave us room to develop some private consultancy work that

would actually pull in some cash.

I think the VC would jump at it. Oh, we'd make an exception for his own

disgusting brood, of course.

You don't think you're being a bit cynical, Bob?

A wee bit of an opportunist. Not dirty words in my book, Jock. We're living in

the 1980s now. It does seem a rather narrow view of our work. I don't think

be happy with it.

Yes, see what you mean, of course. If you look at the wives as support

need to keep them ticking over or else the whole thing collapses. Right, but

follow that through and we'll be looking after their bits on the side, their

dogs, their cats. We'll be servicing their typewriters and cleaning their

I mean, got to draw a line somewhere, buddy.

But not here, I think, Bob.

Apart from the fact that the wives tend to be more interesting and intelligent

people than their husbands, quite simply, they need and deserve our help

Their husbands make them sick, in a quite literal sense.

Most of them are sacrificed career prospects, and all of them... All of

victims of the phallocratic hierarchy, right? Fine, heard it.

OK, don't worry.

You won't hear another word about it.

Let's all go down with the thinking ship.

We're very grateful, Bob. Don't think we're not. But we cannot abandon the

wives. A marriage, let us not forget, is a symbiosis.

If there is sickness in the marriage, there is sickness in the family. Oh,

fine. Ardy Lang. Great. So often one member of the marriage, one member of

family is elected to bear the pain. Oh, fine. Politics of the family. So often

that member is the wife.

Bob, if we are to be a caring practice, we must care for all our people.

Bloody doctors.

Damn.

I'm just off then, John.

Off? Off where?

Shops.

Then I'm having lunch with Chris and Mary in town.

I did tell you.

Hillary, you said Hillary.

No, Kristen Mary.

Don't you remember?

I said we were going to Nikko, and you said don't have that bloody moussaka.

Yes, that sounds like me.

Not Hillary, then.

Right?

Right.

Off you go, then. Don't worry about me, will you?

You don't mind foraging for yourself, do you?

There's game pie in the fridge. Cold game pie.

Well, yes, it would be, being in the fridge.

Come on.

You like cold game pie.

Do I?

You look busy.

Oh, it's nothing much.

Two articles late on deadline.

Promotions board at two. I'm giving consultancy on the transatlantic hookup

four. I've already wasted 20 minutes in that bloody shambles of a surgery. I was

rather hoping that you might handle the telephone for me today. I thought that

might not be too much to ask.

I put it on the answering machine.

Oh, fine.

Well, that takes care of everything.

Well, have a good time. Enjoy yourself.

Go on, then. What are you waiting for?

See you later, then.

Yes, Jock. Ah, even just a bit of a word with you. Close the door, my dear boy.

Come and sit down for a moment.

Will you take a wee jam?

No, thanks, Jock.

Ah, yes.

Total abstainer.

I keep forgetting. I'm not a total abstainer, Jock. It's just I have a

patients waiting.

Don't let's confuse the wood with the trees.

I have things of importance to say.

You were very quiet in the meeting.

Still feeling my way, I suppose.

Ah, but there was more to it than that. I felt it. I felt it because we are

kindred spirits, you and I. We are men.

Rosemary, for all her brave intelligence, is just a wee lassie at

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

And little Robert is a schoolboy.

A schoolboy and always will be with his rinky -dinky computer activities. But

you and I, we bear the terrible burden of manhood.

Yes, it does sometimes seem like a bit of a burden.

Yes.

Look, if that's all, perhaps I should be getting back. No, wait.

What I was going to say was this.

That while we care for the plight of the wives of great men, it is to the great

men themselves that our hearts go out.

Is it?

You know it is.

It's a kinship of the loins.

They cry out to us, the great men, as they thrash about in the maelstrom of

middle life, and we cannot but respond.

Yes.

Right.

Well, perhaps I should... Let me tell you how a crisis may present itself.

In walks a man of some distinction, riding high on the ocean of his fame.

He'll complain of tiredness, headaches, pains in the stomach, possibly.

The problem is, of course, that he is simultaneously experiencing a decline in

mental powers and the failure of libido.

And libido is king, as you know.

Libido rules, okay?

Search out the deep sexual anxiety, Stephen.

That will unlock the secret.

Right. Thanks. But you must search deep.

Great men are deep.

I say this of sovereignty because I have known a measure of greatness and a

world of pain.

You too, Stephen?

No, I haven't. Well, not greatness, anyway.

You will, Stephen, you will.

I speak to you as a father to a son.

One day this kingdom may be yours.

Your patience are waiting.

This'll not do. You'll never achieve greatness if you fritter away your time

idle speculation and morning whiskey drinking.

Go to it, my boy. Go to it.

How do you feel?

Fine. A couple of days of intensive care goes right astray.

The thing is, I understand the reward.

What reward?

Does it faint? Does it drown?

Nothing to be gained.

I'm at your mercy.

No, actually, it felt fine.

I could even sound a bit more of a... Swimming or kissing?

Oh, either.

I think.

I wouldn't want to be too rash.

Sometimes I think all this is just a very, very subtle seduction technique of

yours. Oh, no, no, honestly.

It's not necessary, you know. I'm a pushover, I am.

I don't believe that.

Anyway, it's not that.

My touch to you, as you call it, is real. I wish it wasn't.

I haven't always been like that.

I sometimes think, apart from when I'm actually being a doctor, actually...

Practicing my trade.

I can't seem to touch people in the right way.

That's what my wife said.

Never once touch me in the right way.

Come on.

You'll be getting wrinkly fingers and toes.

Professor Fury for Dr. Dacre, please.

Well, good morning, Professor Fury.

Dacre, right?

That's right.

You're new here.

Yes, I am.

Well, I won't waste too much of your time or mine. I want you to prescribe me

some dexedrine tablets.

Month's supply should do to be going on with, all right?

Dexedrine? You feel the need of a stimulant?

Yes, I do know what dexedrine is, Dacre, and I'd be obliged if you'd just get

stripling. I'd like you to tell me why you think you need them first.

You think that's your business, do you?

Yes, I'm afraid it's precisely my business.

I wouldn't prescribe a dangerous drug without first making sure it was

indicated. Any doctor would tell you the same.

You'd be surprised.

Still, fair enough, you're quite right. Even a GP has his pride.

The thing is, I have a tremendous logjam of work. Not enough hours in the day.

Crucial, I deliver on time.

Ten years ago, I never needed more than three hours sleep a night. Now it seems

more like six, and I'm losing concentration in the daytime. I feel

time. And you've used dexedrine before in similar circumstances? Yes. But not

regularly. I'm not a complete bloody fool. I know they're addictive.

And you normally see Dr. McKinnon? I don't normally see any doctor because

never ill. I haven't lost a day's work through illness since I was 16.

That's very impressive.

Yes, it is, isn't it? And how do you think I would just get on with writing

prescription? If I had the time, there's nothing I'd enjoy more than a jolly

gossip with a nice young medical man, but I have work to do if you haven't.

You seem very anxious to get away, if you don't mind my saying so.

Oh, you've grasped that, have you? Yes, I am very anxious to get away.

Could you tell me why that is? My God, I can't believe this, because I have...

to do.

It isn't that there's something you're anxious to avoid discussing.

And what might that be?

I don't know.

Tavistock Institute.

I beg your pardon? Don't deny it. You trained at the Tavi, didn't you? Or

been got at by some half -witted Tavi lunatic? No, honestly. Birmingham,

Birmingham, Birmingham, Walsall. I don't believe you. You're a half -baked post

-Freudian, aren't you? My God, the Tavi freaks have got a lot to answer for. I'm

honestly not a post -Freudian.

I'm eclectic.

Stand your ground, Dacre. I hate wafflers.

Now, how are you going to proceed?

I really don't think we should pursue this. Now, come on, man. I'm your

I need help.

Well, I find it very interesting what you said about feeling tired all the

And?

And?

I was wondering if you felt tired all the time in any other aspect of your

You insulting little bastard.

What? Are you suggesting I'm impotent, is that it?

No, not at all. But it is quite possible there's some central physical cause

underlying your feelings of latitude.

Oh, there is, is there? And I do think it might be a good idea if you came in

for a full examination.

Oh, yes, you'd enjoy that, wouldn't you? Feel a little more in control of the

situation if you had me naked and bent double with two rubber -gloved fingers

my arse. Oh, yes, I follow your line of reasoning very well, Dacre. My God, I

thought McCannon was the worst doctor on earth. But you take the bloody biscuit,

Dacre, you really do. Look, do you think there's any point in continuing with

this before... Well, of course there is!

Courseries, why not?

Well, we don't seem to be quite hitting it off. Oh, very astute of you.

Yes, I was thinking you might prefer to see another doctor.

You're my doctor, Dacre. Just write my prescription.

Look, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm not going to prescribe dexedrine for

There's something else which is more sophisticated and more specific for what

you need, which I think is a short -term high without any side effects like

impairment of judgment.

It's called cotinac.

I do think it would be a good idea if you came in for a full physical sometime

soon. The feelings you described might just be temporary strain, normal aging

processes, but they might indicate diabetes or a thyroid problem or any one

number of things.

Now, you don't have to come to me for that. Go to Bupa and pay for it if you

wish.

And I must say that I sense there is something upsetting you very much that

can't talk to me about.

And I do think you should consider talking to somebody.

Really.

Just write the prescription, damn you.

Don't drink alcohol while you're taking these.

They'll last you a fortnight. If you need more, come back.

If you get any side effects, get in some crazy way, but you should be fine.

Thank you very much.

You must have enjoyed humiliating me. No, honestly, nothing... You don't know

me, Dacre, but ask around and they'll tell you that John Fury is a powerful

friend to have on your side and a dangerous enemy to have against you.

You're going to be sorry you ever met me, Dacre.

A case conference. What a rare treat.

We haven't had a nice, juicy case conference since McConaughey's sex

I'm afraid it's not as juicy as that.

I am rather worried about it. I think I'm on the right lines, but I seem to

antagonised the patient.

No harm in that, my dear fellow. Fire away, fire away. Let's have the details.

Well, the patient's a man of 49, professor.

Workaholic, by the sound of him. He presented in what appeared to be a state

nervous excitement, but he was asking for stimulants so that he could work

efficiently.

He also said he was tired all the time.

Ah, serves out the deep sexual anxiety, Stephen. Oh, Lord.

I did in a very tentative way try to explore the nature of his tiredness. He,

uh, accused me of suggesting he was impotent. Which he is, of course, poor

fellow. I also suggested he have a full physical check -up.

Well, he reacted very negatively to that. He, uh, well, he fantasized it as

homosexual proposal of the sadomasochistic variety.

Oh, my God, buddy, you certainly draw the loonies.

Tell us, Bob, how would you handle it?

Give him a placebo, tell him to pull himself together and boot him out.

Then drop a hint to the VC about early retirement, save the university 25

buy a few word processors.

Thank you, Bob.

Rosalie? No comment.

I'm afraid I don't find boys' games terribly interesting.

So where does this stand at present?

I... prescribed a mild course of Kotanak. He wasn't pleased. In fact, he

extremely belligerent.

It was, um... a little bit frightening.

Frightened, you did, eh?

I won't have my doctors frightened by their patients.

Stephen, you took exactly the right line.

I am deeply sorry.

Who is this wretched creature?

He's called Professor Fury.

Oh, my God, you've done it now.

Oh, yes, Stephen.

You took exactly the right line of normal circumstances, but John Fury,

isn't a normal circumstance. I expect he criticized your diagnostic technique.

Yes, he did.

Yes, took his MRCP before he moved into biochemistry.

Brilliant man, brilliant man, but he's really got it in for doctors.

And Stephen tried to give him psychosexual counseling. Oh, my God,

right up sick creek without a paddle.

He's pro -vice chancellor, chairman of the finance committee. A very powerful

political operator. He's already closed down film studies and media research,

and I fear he's got his eye on us next.

Handy with his fists, too.

What? Put the creative writing fellow into hospital for a week. Compound

fracture of the jaw, spot of internal bleeding.

What? All hushed up, of course, and the poet made a complete recovery.

Oh, yes, right as rain.

We wouldn't want to alarm you. And Julie, Stephen, I mean, I wouldn't

John Fury as the...

A homicidal personality.

Would you, Bob?

Good Lord, no. Not homicidal.

Just a bit of a ruffian, that's all.

I see.

Fine.

Have you got a minute?

Yes, of course.

Come and sit down.

I feel rather bad about my lack of input in the case conference. I wouldn't want

you to think I wasn't interested.

Oh, thank you.

I think you were quite right to confront the patient in this case.

You've got integrity, Stephen, and you're surprisingly courageous.

No, actually, I'm not.

Oh, I think you are.

And I'm sure you weren't influenced by Bob's childish remarks.

Well, I was a bit.

Typical weak male response to the phallic bully.

Bob sees himself as a hard man.

But when he finds someone stronger than himself, he rolls over on his back like

a puppy.

I don't find that very attractive in a grown man.

Do you?

Well, no.

Fury, of course, is the same type.

Oh, you know him, then?

His wife used to be a patient of mine, Stephen.

I hope I was able to help her.

John Fury is a bully of the crudest kind, but he lacks any inner certainty.

I like to picture him as a hollow plaster of phallus.

Do you see what I mean?

Yes, I do.

All too vividly.

Good.

I won't pretend you'll get no trouble from Fury. You will.

But it's essential that you continue to confront him with his own

contradictions. If you do that, I'm sure the plaster will crack.

Yes, I agree.

You'll have to fight him, of course, perhaps even physically.

But when he sees your determination, I'm sure he'll capitulate.

Anyway, I'm sure you know how to look after yourself.

No, actually, violence isn't my thing at all. I don't confuse gentleness with

weakness.

And in any case, you have no alternative. If you show him any

destroy you.

Yes, I see.

Well, thanks very much, Rosemary.

It's a pleasure, Stephen.

Looks as if you've had a good day anyway.

You think?

Well, all this, I'm tremendously impressed.

This is a bad day's work.

On a good day, maybe one line, but a good one.

Same with poetry.

Do you know a poet?

We have just one, but a good one, called Uponia.

Do you know what we call Shakespeare in Burma?

The British Uponia.

This is a bad day's work, Shane.

I think I'd better get pissed tonight.

Chen, do you know anything about self -defense?

Of course, I practice self -defense.

Really?

Yes, I come to England, very safe country. Is that my self -defense?

It's not a safe country, Chen.

By Burma?

Actually, what I meant was unarmed combat, that sort of thing.

Not popular in Burma.

Armed combat, yes.

Carrier, sharp sword, always try the first blow.

Do you want to kill someone, Stephen?

I could get behind that. I could hang loose.

I want to kill my professor.

You could help me do that. I could help you kill your enemy.

What do you say?

Could you hack it?

No, it's unrealistic.

Thanks anyway, Ken.

You see?

Look at that.

One day's work.

Look how much I've done for you today.

I'm not finished yet. By God, no.

You don't do all that for me, John. Don't I?

Don't I?

Then who the hell do I do it for?

Do you think I enjoy it? You know you do.

You did.

Are you going out again?

Told you.

It's only one night a week, after all.

And there's cauliflower cheese in the oven. I need meat. I'm not a

I can't work on hippie food.

Go out and buy yourself a steak, then. You'd enjoy that. It'd make a change.

I haven't the time. I have to work.

You're a barrel of laughs tonight.

Oh, I'm just sorry, Lynne. It's problems at work.

Lynne, do you think it's a terrible burden being a man?

I'm not a man, Stephen. I'm a girl.

Yes.

I hadn't noticed that.

Good.

Actually, Stephen, I don't think men and women are all that different.

I know it's a reticule, but that's what I think.

All people, after all.

Yes.

I mean, there are some differences.

Men are vainer than women.

And women are nicer to go to bed with.

Well, naturally.

How do you know?

Research finding.

You know, softer skin, not from any hang -up.

You don't get any of that performance rubbish with women.

We don't get any of that performance rubbish with me.

Actually, you don't get any performance.

Sounds all right.

What's the matter with you tonight? Let's go.

Hang on a bit. I haven't finished my drink. Shh.

The man at the bar.

Now, don't look. I don't want him to see me.

Do you think you could manage to get me a large scotch if you'd quite finished

your chat? Why not? It's a bit embarrassing. I'll tell you later. Come

please, Lin. It's too late. He's looking over.

Taker! What are you doing? Oh, I think I've dropped my... Taker!

Oh, God.

I want you, Taker.

Oh, um, evening.

He wants to beat me up.

Well, I'll try and get between you. If that doesn't work, just fall down with

the first punch.

Taker!

You are one hell of a doctor.

Those pills are magic.

Especially with whiskey.

Here's looking at you, Dacre.

You really shouldn't take alcohol with him.

Don't worry, I'll buy you another.

Two double scotches. Three doubles. Sorry, my dear.

This man is one hell of a doctor, you know that?

Yes, I thought he might be.

I'm not one of his patients myself.

Never else. Neither am I. Neither am I. Come on, Fido, where are those whiskeys?

Well, this is very pleasant.

Do you know Lynn Fitzfury? Of course I know Lynn. Everyone knows Lynn.

Hell of a bright girl, even if she is at the soggy end of social psychology.

We all love our little articles.

Ah, there you are. About time, too.

Here, kids change.

Well,

cheers. Thanks very much. You know, you really shouldn't drink with those pills,

especially if you're going to drive.

You're driving tonight, Taker. I've elected you.

And you can lay off the good advice. You've been a hell of a doctor all day.

It's time to relax.

Now... I've shifted more work today than I have in months, and I feel like

celebrating. What I propose is that I buy you and this lovely young woman a

bloody big steak in the grill room, and then we all go back to my place for a

gangbang. Might even get the wife to join in.

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Just my little joke to see your faces.

No, but seriously, we have to get beyond the Puritan work ethic.

Well, now, what about that steak? I'm not Professor Fury. John.

John. Call me John.

John Thomas Fury.

That's my name.

Now, there's a funny thing.

Hey, John.

Yes, my lovely creature.

I'm going to have to leave that steak for another night. I'm running a

today. Sorry.

Oh, no matter. Don't worry about it. Another time. Something to look forward

Yes, and I'm afraid I'm... Not you, Dacre. You're my man for the night.

You're in the driving seat.

Ah, you do something.

You've got to have a piss. Wait there.

Funny thing about those pills.

You don't go all day and then all of a sudden it seems as if nothing in the

world is more vital.

You're deserting me.

You'll be all right, Stephen.

He didn't want to beat you up at all. He thinks you're great.

He's hypermanic. It's not a rational condition. He could trick at any moment.

Oh, love, shall we take out an apple?

No. I think I've got to stay with him.

Oh, love, good doctor.

Look, you'll be all right.

He thinks you're wonderful.

You are, too.

You know.

University catering is absolutely appalling. Don't you agree? Even at the

-called quality end. I mean, look at this bloody house wine.

Don's delight.

What Don could possibly delight in that, eh?

Donald Duck? I suppose Don Bradman might have used it to oil his back with.

Eh? Eh?

Yes?

Can I help you in any way?

Enjoying your meal?

That's the philosophy department and their external examiner. Three halfwits

kowtowing to an arm entity.

I'm shouting, John. Am I? Oh, good Lord, wouldn't want to offend anyone.

But old Marlowe Spence, now, hasn't had an original thought in his life.

Still annotating Austin, are we, Geoffrey?

Dev as opposed to.

I think we'll chop philosophy, make that next year's little project, reprieve

for the medical centre because of the excellent new doctor, eh?

Really, you're too kind. No, not at all.

Any spark of intellect in this desert of mediocrity deserves to be cherished.

Well, that was the worst steak I've had in years. Where's that girl? Over here,

toots.

Did you call Professor Fury? Indeed I did. That steak was terrible. It was

roughly hacked by an incompetent butcher from the wrong end of a third -rate

animal, badly hung and then grilled to a frazzle by an idiot. Why did you eat

it, then? Because I was starving. Don't bandy words with me.

Well, no one else is complaining.

Was your steak all right, sir?

Yes, fine.

I'm sorry.

This man is too tender -hearted to complain. Those men over there know

about cooking or anything else.

Those two don't care about food. They're eating each other.

My compliments to the chef, and would he care for a fistfight with Professor

Fury? Okay, Professor Fury, I'll pass the message on.

Look, if this why my father was a butcher taker, I know meat.

Intellectual honesty is an absolute value, and I can look after myself in a

fistfight. Yes, I've heard. More wine. No, not for me. You have it. Can't do

any more harm. You'll feel lousy in the morning. Oh, that's an age away.

Tonight is tonight.

That waitress was a pretty cool customer, wasn't she?

I'm sure I've seen her before somewhere.

Ah, here she comes.

Will? Chef says he doesn't fancy a fistfight. He's just popped out to let

car tyres down.

Very good.

Look, don't I know you from somewhere? Are you a student at this university?

That's right. My name's Alison Blair.

You're my personal tutor, actually.

Oh, well, there you are. Never forget a face.

Look, what time do you finish?

Let me get rid of you lot.

Well, how about coming back to my place with this chap and we can all sit around

and have a jolly good time?

Yeah, all right.

You interrupted me, Dacre. I was afraid you were going to invite us to a

gangbang. So I was.

No harm in that. Just my little joke.

John, women don't find that sort of thing funny these days.

Don't they?

Odd.

My wife finds that kind of thing funny. She finds it bloody hilarious.

I'm a bit out of control, aren't I?

Yes, you are a bit. I feel absolutely fine.

But objectively, I think I'm going crazy.

More whiskey?

No, I won't.

Oh, why not?

Spirit.

It's the women, Stephen.

It's what we do to the women.

We love our work, we let it take us over.

We ignore the women, we blind ourselves to their needs.

And when we realise what we've done, it's too late.

I know.

Yes, but do you, do you? You're not giving me that tabby shit again, are

No.

I was thinking about my own marriage.

Yes, well, you're a moderate man.

You do things moderately.

I do things to extremes.

I've eaten that woman like a piece of meat, Stephen.

When I think what I've done to her, I can't bear it, you know.

So what do I do?

I shut it out.

I come in here and I whack off another brilliant bloody article.

I've got an international reputation. Have you got an international

No, I haven't got an international reputation. It's not worth having an

international reputation.

You take my word for it.

I've got to go to Brazil next month.

Who wants to go to bloody Brazil?

Huh?

Well, I wouldn't mind.

Helen? Hello.

In here.

Hello. This is Stephen Dacre. He's one hell of a doctor.

Oh, the man with the marvellous pills.

Nice to meet you, Stephen. How do you do? One hell of a doctor.

Are you all right, John?

Good film?

Yeah.

Not quite what it was cracked up to be.

Details?

Well, the sets were a bit brigadoon, I thought.

And the wolves were a bit of a disappointment, really.

Just like a lot of pubs the old Alsatians, I thought.

Still, maybe that's what wolves are like.

Hmm. Look, I'm going to go and put the kettle on.

Anyone else want coffee?

Oh, yes, please.

Could have read that in a bloody courier.

What's the matter?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just... You'll have to excuse me, Baker.

I'm really tired.

I'm going to bed.

Sorry. It's happened before.

Oh, yes.

Look, do you think I could come and talk to you?

That's not unethical, is it?

I'm rather worried about him. Yes, of course. Look, could you come in tomorrow

at 11 .30 after normal surgery hours?

Yes, fine.

Look, I'd better go up to him now. Yes, sure.

Yes, it was very much as he described until recently.

John's a difficult man to live with.

Well, as you can imagine. Yes, I can.

And I suppose I've been rather unhappy for most of my marriage.

Well, just normal unhappiness, nothing out of the ordinary.

Although I did come a bit close to cracking up about a year ago.

Yes, look, I ought to tell you I took the liberty of checking your file. I

you don't mind.

You were seeing us quite a lot then.

Persistent headache, mild depression, insomnia. Oh, yes, all that. Well, gone

now. And you're not on our list anymore? No.

I didn't fall out with Dr. Rosemary or anything.

It's just that, well, it's a long way in now that we're not on campus. And we've

got Dr. Parker just round the corner, and he's very good with the children.

please, you don't have to apologize.

Anyway, it's not about you, all this, is it?

Well, um, it is, really.

I knew I was going to have to tell you, but... Well, I dare say you've guessed.

I'm having an affair with someone.

And it's made me really happy.

It was bliss for a while. I felt so, you know, strong and confident and I could

cope with all John's stuff.

Then he found out, yes?

He asked.

I told him.

I didn't think he'd mind.

I mean, he'd never seemed to notice.

And he'd had lots of, you know, flings himself.

Well, he sort of fell apart.

He can't think about anything else. He's not really getting any work done. He

follows me around. He keeps going to my... Well, you've seen him.

Yes. You see, I haven't told him who it is.

I have said I won't give it up because I don't think I can.

And I've told him it's not something I'm doing to him. It's something I'm doing

for myself.

But he can't grasp that.

He knows I won't leave him.

And I don't want to leave him.

I still love the old bastard.

You know?

What a long face.

It's not that bad. Come on, cheer up.

Here, have a cigarette.

I don't smoke.

Well, actually, I will. Thank you.

You are a funny man.

No wonder John likes you.

Oh, it's such a relief to talk about it.

You wouldn't believe it, the interest he takes in me.

Night after night of psychoterror.

Waking me up every half hour. Who was that chap you were talking to in that

coffee bar in 1964?

I mean, honestly, it's quite flattering in a way.

Terrible.

Terrible. And then he gets out of bed and he rushes down to the car and he

drives it round and round the estate.

And then Wednesday, he went out in the middle of the night.

And he dug this great hole in the back garden and he wanted me to get in it

him. Well, I managed to persuade him back into the house. I ran a bath for

And then I had to get in that with him.

He's like that sometimes.

He's really mad for him. Like he used to be when he was 20.

It was rather nice that way.

Poor man.

Poor man.

And then the next night, he'll be complaining that he's impotent.

I mean, look, John, I said to him, you were at it all night last night. You're

bound to be a bit tired.

Oh, no, my sexual life is over. It must be awful for both of you. Mm, it's hell.

And the violence.

He's violent, too.

Oh, not with me.

Oh, it's all right, Stephen, don't be upset. Just things.

Things? Hmm.

Just yesterday he took a hammer out and he gave his filing cabinet a frightful

beating.

It's awful to say this.

But it's quite exhilarating in a way.

I mean, he's such a performer.

Biggest biochemical research lab in Europe.

Longest list of publications.

Now he's got to have the biggest nervous breakdown ever.

Mrs Fury.

Helen, please.

Helen, I think your husband is in need of specialist help. I'll try and get him

to agree to my referring him to a consultant psychiatrist.

I'm sure he'll go if you say so.

He really trusts you, Stephen.

Oh, you know, I think you're a hell of a doctor too.

You've done me so much good today.

Do you know, I feel really cheerful now.

Thanks very much, Helen.

I come to see Dacre.

You have no appointment, Professor Fury.

I've got appointments.

Dacre, I want you.

Professor Fury, you're too wet to see Dr.

Dacre.

Right, Dacre.

John, how are you?

You're all wet.

I'm glad you came in. Glad, are you? Do sit down. I was hoping we could have a

chat. About my wife, perhaps?

No, I did speak to her yesterday. I hope you don't mind.

In bed, no doubt. While you were shafting her, no doubt.

Typical of you cold -blooded tabby types.

Yes, I do mind very much indeed.

Does that surprise you? My God, I thought a buzzard. I even thought a

but it was you. You all the time, Dacre. And don't think I'm unaware of the part

the Chilean government played in this.

Help. John, be sensible. How could it have been me? I've only been here four

weeks. Modern transport, you conniving little bastard.

This is the 20th century. I've been over your car with a fine -tooth comb.

I've smelt the smell. of your adulterous couplings on the jet black upholstery.

Oh, yes, I'm going to get you struck off, Dacre. Make no mistake about that.

first, I'm going to kill you. John, that's illogical. If you just sit down

think about it, how... Illogical?

Illogical?

Haven't you ever heard of catastrophe theory?

Er, OK, Stephen, leave this to me. Head to... No, John, we've had our

differences, I know, but... You too, MacLennan. So it was a gangbang, after

Rosemary, for pity's sake!

Please!

Come on, sit on his legs, would you, Maureen?

It's a pleasure, Dr.

Rosemary. No need to worry, Dr. Dacre. All in a day's work for me, that is.

Would it be good enough to phone for an ambulance? I think we'd better section

him. Yes, of course. Dacre, Dacre, I want you to know that this is just

personal. I still think you're one hell of a doctor.

Oh, hello.

Heard about Fury?

What?

By all accounts, he's making a splendid recovery.

Still in the secure ward, of course. But he's working again.

Apparently, he's got a really promising new line on the brain chemistry of

hypermenia. Well, bully for him.

Rosemary, I never got a chance to thank you properly for what you did that day.

Well, I must confess I felt a strong temptation to let things run their

Boys' games, you know.

Why not let them get on with it?

I'm glad you didn't.

Well, I did feel a certain obligation.

I was, after all, involved.

With Fury?

No.

I must get on.

I heard you were sick.

See you, Steven.

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