Original subtitles

It's a long way from anywhere you've ever been before.

Got to get your act together, we're not sure.

Good morning. I made you some tea.

Thank you.

You were growling and squeaking in your sleep.

Was I?

Growling and squeaking, yes.

Like a little dog.

I'm awfully sorry, Chen.

It's bad dreams.

Don't worry. It's nothing. A bit of panic and terror. You know, just

stuff.

First day of term today.

Think of the little freshers.

Think of their panic and terror.

Right.

Yes, right, of course.

I'm going to like it.

I'm going to like it. I'm really going to like it here.

I told you not to get that scarf.

Nobody's wearing them.

I'm wearing one.

I wonder who he is.

He looks as if he's got to be a really key character, doesn't he? Looks like a

big poser to me.

Do you reckon?

What do you mean, key character, anyway?

Oh, well, my father says that in any university, there's only going to be

a dozen people really worth knowing. Find them, there's your education.

You're a father, so you'll be daft if you don't mind me saying so.

Megan, you really don't understand about anything, do you? Good job you've got

me to look out for you. Very grateful, I'm sure.

Look, I'm going to the bookshop. You coming or not?

Yeah.

Well, now...

The item of pressing importance would seem to be the induction week spiel.

Are you with us, Stephen?

Well, no, I... Freshers' induction week.

Various knobs get up and present the new first years with the official

propaganda. Wonderful university, privileged to be here. Ha, ha, community

scholars. Work hard, join a club, keep your nose clean and look out for falling

tiles. Then Jock does the thing about the medical centre, where it is, who we

are, what we can do, what we can't.

All right?

Yes, thank you, Bob.

There is rather more at issue than that. Indeed there is.

We meet these young people at what is perhaps the most impressionable moment

their lives.

The call that is struck in our initial address to them will resonate deeply and

profoundly in their wee souls.

That is why I am soliciting your views.

This practice is, I like to think, a cooperative.

We make our decisions freely and collectively in a spirit of trust and

We are, Stephen, a true collective.

Isn't that so, Rosemary?

Well, yes, if we ignore a few blatant inequalities such as power, status,

and salary, yes. You could say that.

Teasing old jock again.

You're the wicked wee lass.

And so unfair, because this year I am minded, like King Lear in the play, to

surrender some of my symbolic power.

I am not an old man, but I feel like an old man.

In academic communities, a sap rises not in the spring, but in the autumn.

I feel my roots are covered with snow, my dear chaps. I feel the freshers, oh,

such a precisely evocative word, should hear a younger voice, a voice with sap

in it.

You mean one of us should do the spiel this year?

You're so indispensably little, Bob.

Yes. That is what I mean.

Last year, if you remember, I stood before them and I said simply, we love

That is why we are here.

I was minded to say more, but when I heard the words reverberate in the hall,

seemed to be enough.

You might have told them what the surgery hours are.

I might have told them many things.

This year, it's someone else's turn.

Dr. McCann, an emergency patient librarian, twisted her ankle in the

photocopier. I'll go, shall I?

These librarians will try to copulate everywhere. Let them not see her. This

an important meeting.

You're never going to read all that, are you? They were all on the book list.

Oh, yeah, I lost mine.

I'm too excited to think about bocce at any rate.

Freshly disco'd tonight, are you going? Wouldn't be seen dead.

Oh, yeah, right, I know what you mean.

Capital market, right?

Well, that's what they think. They won't know what's hit them.

Hey, Megan, when you get excited, where do you feel it? I don't know what you

mean. Oh, you must do.

Oh, well, I feel it here and here and right down here.

Charming.

Oh, my God.

I'm supposed to be in theatre studies.

I'd be happy to do it. OK, next business.

I'd like to know what's being said on my behalf.

Quite obvious.

Tell them where we are and so forth.

Then I'll point out that a hell of a lot of capital has been invested in them.

Mistakenly, in my view, but there it is.

We could have a word processor or an MG maestro for the money that's spent on

every one of them, so it is their duty to look after the machinery and keep it

on the road.

Students run on good food, hard work, early nights and exercise.

Absolutely no excuse for alcohol and drug abuse, VD, anorexia piles or

pregnancy. We can help, but we're not magicians.

We're more like...

Mechanics.

That's all.

Perhaps you'd like to get them undersealed.

It wouldn't be a bad idea.

Well, if that's the future, it terrifies me, I must confess.

What about Iris Regan?

It's not a joking matter, Jock.

Ah, God, these women.

Nothing's a joke anymore.

Go on, go on. The deadly serious lovely girl.

Why did you call Stephen and Bob your lovely boys, Jock?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

They are my lovely boys.

Please, do continue, uh, Dr. Rose Lee.

First of all, I would outline the kind of care this practice offers to every

member of this university.

Then, I would invite them to consider the idea that this university, like

phallocentric hierarchies like this practice itself, is a structure which

consciously or unconsciously sets out to oppress women. And it does it very

well. Just as fewer women proportionally get firsts or senior academic posts, so

more women proportionally get ill. More than one reason for that. Yes, of

course. But I know you'd agree with me that the central one is that women are a

colonised race.

And this may be a time when they may want to consider what they can do about

in terms of their mental and physical health.

Whether it's a good idea to distort their body chemistry or threaten their

expectancy to suit their boyfriend's convenience, for example.

By going on the pill, you mean? Sounds quite more reliable than the

alternatives. I shouldn't think you've considered the alternatives I have in

mind, Bob.

Right. Well, thank you, Rosalie. I think we get the general drift.

Stephen?

Oh, no, I really don't think I should, being new to the practice.

Come, Stephen.

Nothing will come of nothing.

Although I was enormously impressed with what Rosemary just said, and Bob's

thing, of course, I think if someone could say something that takes into

how they're all feeling, the boys as well as the girls, that it's all right

feel lonely and frightened. It's part of being human.

And being grown up doesn't mean to say you've got to be Superman.

We all need help.

And that we're dealing with people, not symptoms.

And, uh, that if they feel they need us well, here we are.

I mean, they don't have to wait till they're pouring blood from every

We love you.

That is why we are here.

I suppose so.

Sorry.

Well, speak for yourself, buddy. I love my wife, my boys, and my car. Full stop.

Stephen, the job is yours.

I didn't mean I wanted to do the speech.

I think that's the feeling of the meeting.

Is it?

Oh, yes, I think so.

You don't want a vote, do you?

We look forward to your speech with keen anticipation, Stephen.

So, their two studies is special.

It's not what I call a library deal.

Not that you won't be working your arse off in the library sometimes, because

you will.

But theatre is first and last a physical event.

You study theatre with your whole self.

Not just your mind, your body.

The roots of your air, your toes, your spinal column, your gut.

I think I'm getting through to somebody.

May I?

I just wanted to congratulate you on your performance in the meeting.

Oh, look.

And wish you the best of success with your speech. I think I've been

underestimating you. No, you haven't. I mean, I know it must have looked as if

I... Honestly, I didn't want the job.

And yet you got it. Quite a performance. No, look, really, I'm honestly not

getting anywhere with it.

I was hoping...

I wonder if you'd consider helping me. I was very impressed with your ideas.

I feel as if I'm being seduced.

No, no.

How could you think that?

I was using the phrase as a political metaphor.

Oh, I see.

But I'm afraid I must refuse.

I know it's not easy to be a man these days, particularly when you happen to be

sensitive and intelligent and well -meaning.

But it's still harder to be a woman.

You'll have to find your own solutions.

For me, you couldn't possibly be part of the solution.

I couldn't help you.

You're part of the problem.

Ah.

But I'll certainly come to your talk.

I'm looking forward to it very much.

So...

You want to be religious education teachers.

Gosh, that's a pretty weird ambition for someone of 18, don't you think?

I mean, what do you know that makes you so sure?

It's not what you know, it's what you believe.

Faith, right?

Megan, Megan Phillips.

No, I didn't mean you... Never mind.

What are you, dear? Baptist?

Gospel Hall.

Fine, fine.

But this course is going to turn you inside out. Oh, that goes for all of

But don't worry, you'll love it.

You won't hear a word about Christianity for the whole of the first year.

We're starting off on Wednesday with an extended piece of participant

observation research based on a Sikh temple.

And I hope you all like curries.

Just off for a game of squash.

Do love to thrash a sociologist.

Beach all sewn up?

I can't do it, Bob.

Not my problem.

Shouldn't have breathed so hard for it, should you? Still, no skin off my nose.

I'm off back to Saudi Arabia, first chance I get.

What's the matter, anyway?

Well, it's partly that anything I think of to say sounds profoundly stupid.

But mainly the thought of getting up and saying anything in front of anyone.

That's all.

Well, well.

You were right up shit creek then.

However, did you manage in Wolverhampton?

Also, wasn't much call for oratory there.

I'm going to have to back out, Bob. Oh, no, you can't do that. Your whole

reputation's on the line here. It's make or break time.

Bob, will you do it?

Not a chance.

Tell you what, now, look.

Try a couple of these.

Two hours before the off.

What are they, Stelazine? Good Lord, no. They're prophylax. You know, the new

things. Trial run was in the Falklands with the Paras. They were popping them

like smarties. Really?

Home straight in on the anxiety centre, apparently. No fear, no pain, no broken

heart. Well, thanks very much, Bob. Not too good with the booze, though. I'll

remember. Bob, this is very kind of you.

Well, you know.

Anything to keep the wee lassie off the platform.

I really must go and humiliate that sociology.

Cheers.

Oh, I thought you'd be asleep.

Oh, what a night.

Good, was it? Oh, yeah, it was brilliant.

No, well, it wasn't really.

Such a lot of wallies.

Especially the public school ones.

Hello, my name's Gavin, reading law.

What a lovely top thing. Can I put my finger in your hole?

Honestly, they're so immature.

Not like you, eh?

Hopefully.

I'm much more into older men.

I think.

Dil, you've got to put yourself about. My father says, let them know you're

there.

Then wear the gold hat if that will move him.

If you can bounce high, bounce for him too.

Till he cries lover, gold -hatted, high -bouncing lover, I must have you.

Trouble is, he wasn't there.

Who? Oh, someone.

My father says you can get anything in the world if you really go for it.

You talk a lot about your father.

Do I?

Well, I suppose I do.

He's really a character, my father. Been a big influence on me. He's a builder,

isn't he? No.

No, no, he's in films. He's a director.

Well, sort of. Why did you bring your stuff up in a builder's van then?

Ah, him.

That's not my real father. That's my stepfather.

Oh, sorry.

No need to be sorry.

We're all very mature about it.

It's just that, well, I thought I wish he was there sometime.

I'm really, really going to have an ace time at this university.

I'm really going to be one of the key characters.

You know what?

I feel sorry for you, Angie.

You feel sorry for me?

It isn't real, this place.

It's not important.

It's just somewhere people go to get a degree, that's all.

If I thought it really mattered, I'd be miserable.

Because I think it's an awful place, to be honest. I don't like it and I don't

like anyone I've met here.

Wish I'd never come.

Oh, come on, Megan. You've got to have hope.

The first ten days are the worst, my father says.

Does he?

Actually, I'm a bit sick of hearing what your father says.

I love you.

That's why I'm here.

I brought you some tea.

Oh, thank you.

Growling and squeaking again.

Worse. You were howling like a wolf.

Good?

What did you put in it?

A little whiskey.

Not so good?

Just what the doctor ordered.

And, um, outside normal surgery hours, you can always get in touch with one of

us by ringing...

Um,

5101.

Other services offered by the medical center include...

Oh,

look, this is terrible.

You can read all that stuff in the handbook anyway.

You've all sat and listened patiently to three boring talks already.

I mean, what right have I to add insult to injury?

You didn't come to university to be bored, did you?

No, of course you didn't.

You came here to find yourselves, develop yourselves, fulfil yourselves,

that stuff.

At least I hope so.

That's why I came here.

And... To have fun.

Well, that's all right.

In fact, it's essential.

Look, a university, even a university in the 80s, isn't just a degree factory

churning out the product in times of economic stringency and world recession.

I can't get my head round that, can you?

And we're not just a lot of disembodied heads, either.

We're people.

Intelligent, lonely, nervous, cheerful, talented, vulnerable, nice

and nasty, strong and weak, infinitely varied, uniquely valuable people.

What's all this got to do with the medical centre?

I'll tell you what all this has to do with the medical centre.

We care for you as whole people.

We're not mechanics.

Oh, we can do the job. We'll prescribe the pill for you if that's what you

and we'll help you find exactly the right one for you.

We'll treat your symptoms to the highest level of professional skill and

competence.

But you're not just a set of symptoms to us.

You're you.

And we care about you.

Oh, I think he's wonderful.

I think he's drunk.

One last thing.

There's one big nag about being a doctor.

Basically, you only see people when they're ill.

When they're down. And that can be really depressing, I can tell you.

But look, it doesn't have to be like that.

Don't feel you have to be ill to come and see us. I mean it.

Come and see us when you're feeling fine.

We care about you.

That's why we are here.

I think I just committed professional suicide.

Angela Fry for Dr. Dacre, please.

Well, hello, Miss Fry. How are you? Angie, please.

All right, Angie.

And I'm fine.

I'm carrying out my orders, you know. Come up and see us when you're feeling

fine. Oh, yes, of course. You're a first year. Yes, that's right.

And Mrs.

Kramers put you on my list, which means you normally see me when you come.

Though if I weren't here, you could see any one of the other doctors.

Oh, are you okay?

Shall I go away and come back? No, no, I'm fine.

Slight headache.

I thought your talk this morning was terrific.

Really?

Come on, you know you were the best.

Oh.

So, uh, you're feeling fine. Yes, that's right.

Not homesick?

You wouldn't say that if you could see my home.

Oh, I don't really get on with my mother or my stepfather, and now they've got a

little half -brother. They're all over the moon to see the back of me.

Oh, my real father's all right.

In fact, he's lovely, but... Well, I don't see that much of him, so...

I'm pinning all my hopes on this place.

And so far things look promising.

Oh, yes, they do. They really, really do.

Well, my roommate's a bit of a downer, but you can't win them all. No.

Actually, there is something I want.

What's that?

I want to go on the pill.

Again.

Right, fine.

Which one were you on before?

Oh, um... Oh, I... I can't remember the name of it.

No, sorry.

Well, log in on.

Oh, yes, that's it, log in on. And how did you find it? Any problems, any side

effects? No, no.

So, why did you discontinue?

Nobody to make it worth my while.

Yes, I see.

Well, look, I'll just take your blood pressure. Oh, I hate this.

Yes, I know, I don't like it either.

It's just a routine precaution.

I haven't any history of...

Jaundice or epilepsy?

No.

No blood clotting problems in the family? No.

Yes, that's fine.

You'll need a check -up in six weeks or so, once you're re -established on the

pill. Aren't you going to ask me why I'm starting again?

Well, one could hazard a guess. It's really not any of my business.

It's all right, I don't mind talking about it.

I've fallen in love with someone.

Someone here? Mm -hm.

Oh, I'm crazy about him, actually. He teaches drama here and he's really ace.

Oh, look, I think perhaps you shouldn't be telling me this. Oh, no, it's all

right, I don't mind.

You're not shocked, are you?

I've been into older men for yonks.

Are you sure you've thought enough about this? Oh, yes.

And he... I know it's none of my business, but he feels the same way.

He will do.

He doesn't actually know yet. I only met him yesterday.

His performance was everything I could have wished it might be.

He made a fool of himself and us.

Is that what you thought?

I was deeply moved myself.

You must have noticed he was drunk.

And high, I'd say.

Pills and booze. Bad medicine, that chief.

Shame, really. I did my best to help him out with it.

And yet, here he is this afternoon, hard at work, while you two are in here

talking about him.

Consider that.

And remember those fairy tales.

All those simple souls.

Third sons, usually, who blundered backwards into fortune.

Naturals.

I see my younger self is Stephen.

When I was young, when I had sap, yes, I was such a one.

They're all men, though, aren't they?

Women have to look where they're going.

Yes, Rosalie.

Yes, they do.

Well, that's fine, Megan.

Was there anything you wanted to talk to me about?

Why should there be?

Well, you see, you could have just filled in the form for Mrs. Kramer.

I'm very glad that you came in for a chat, as I suggested people should.

Well, most people don't, though.

Ones who do usually have a reason.

Well, there's nothing wrong with me, if that's what you mean.

OK.

Why did you have to go on about sex in that talk of yours?

Did I do that?

Go on the pill.

Fulfil yourselves.

Just encouraging people.

Not just you.

English here is all about sex.

The girl I share a room with can't think or talk about anything else.

I'm supposed to be doing education and religious studies for my main subjects.

You'd think that would be about schools and religions, wouldn't you?

Well, it's not.

Education's about Freud and Marx, and religion's about curry and marijuana, as

far as I can make out.

It's curry, and have a good laugh at me. Everyone else does.

No, I'm not laughing at you.

Do go on, Megan.

Well, it's not me I'm worried about.

It's the rest of them.

I mean, don't you think it's irresponsible going on about sex?

and Freud and that. People who haven't got anything to protect and sustain

No, I don't suppose you would think that. You're just the same as the rest

them. And you do have something to protect and sustain you. Yes, I have.

Do you mind if I ask you what it is? The love of Jesus Christ.

Yes. I see.

There is a religious society here, isn't there? Well, that's what they call it,

but I wouldn't. I see. Curry and marijuana again. Worse than that.

Transcendental meditation.

trips to Stonehenge and Avery, they are. Yes, I see. Not your cup of tea.

Wouldn't be seen dead in it.

I guess you must be pretty lonely here at the moment.

I'm never lonely.

There's nothing to be ashamed of in feeling lonely.

Everyone feels lonely.

Everyone has problems.

Me, for instance.

Yes, I'm not surprised.

You don't believe in anything, do you?

Well, yes, I do, as a matter of fact. What?

Well, I know it sounds a bit flabby, but I'm a humanist.

Which means, I suppose, that I believe in human beings.

People. People?

We don't want to believe in people.

Yes, well, sometimes it does seem to be flying in the face of the evidence.

Look, I think this is getting a bit out... Well, I mean, it's your

not mine.

Why don't you go to church?

Get right with God. Yes, well, perhaps I will.

Actually, I was going to suggest that there might be a local church that would

meet your needs if there's nothing here in the university.

I don't need a doctor to tell me that.

No, I know you don't.

But as to the rest of the things you were saying, I think you might give some

consideration to the idea that coming to university is about opening your mind

to new ideas.

You don't have to swallow them whole.

Just allow for the possibility of change.

Otherwise, what's the point in being here? I came here to learn to be a

Not to get brainwashed.

Can I go now, then?

Other way round.

Autopriorities. Remember?

God, what a day.

I feel like a battered baby.

Jen? Yes, Stephen?

You haven't cooked yet, have you?

Not yet.

I can't face eating.

All I want is two quiet pints in some bar somewhere, then bed. Do you fancy

coming?

Just the bar, I mean.

I hate drinking on my own.

Hello.

Sorry, I didn't realise. I'll, um... I didn't know you two knew each other.

Oh, we are old friends.

Ah. I thought a drink.

Sorry, next time, maybe?

Yes, of course.

I think I'm going to be working all night.

Oh.

Take Lynn. She likes a drink.

No, no, I wouldn't dream of it. It's the matter that you want to.

Really? My pleasure, Doc.

A ten -minute confrontation, I thought.

It's wonderful, it's luxury, but... I don't expose myself so much.

That's bad.

Well, no, but... Look, I've had a couple this afternoon. Perfectly nice,

ordinary girls, but... Let them talk for a bit.

It's terrifying.

I'm beginning to think if you listen to them for ten minutes, everyone's having

a nervous breakdown.

Well, I'm not, Doc.

Honestly, you don't have to worry about me.

Really?

God, it's ridiculous.

the feeling I have to take care of everyone's problems. I can't even sort

life out.

Got problems, have you, Doc?

Oh, yeah.

You've got a swimming problem, I'll say that.

Yeah.

Do you realise that I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you?

Come on, you'd have got to the other end.

I only pulled you out because I fancied you.

You're embarrassing me.

What a shame.

Uh, Lynn?

Mm -hm? Do you mind my asking, um...

What you do at the university. I mean, I know you work at the pool, but that's

not all, is it?

No, I suppose not.

What do you want to know for it?

Don't you like military?

I'm not sure.

I mean, what do you want to do, put me in a category?

I don't like that stuff. No, really not that. You're, uh, unique.

Okay, Doc.

I'm a policewoman.

I don't believe you.

Well, I am.

I just haven't been doing much of it lately.

I joined the force after A -levels.

Didn't like arresting people, so they sent me off to do a psychology degree.

Thought of a great guitar first.

Then I went back and did an intermediate treatment for a bit.

Alternatives to custody.

I'm here on research scholarship, PhD in body language.

See, Anya, I shouldn't have told you.

You're scared of brainy women, aren't you?

No, no, really.

I'm just scared of women.

I mean, that's really interesting.

PhD in body language.

Yeah, it's dead good body language.

Hmm, let's see.

Over there.

The girl with the toffee -coloured hair.

Oh, yes.

Well, that's a dead easy one.

Everything turned to her.

Everything opened.

She's even turning her palms up. You hardly ever see that.

She's making a present of herself to that bloke.

She's almost certainly virgin, too.

Oh, yes.

99%. What are you grinning at?

Nothing. What about him?

Oh, well, that wouldn't be fair.

I've inside knowledge I'm a friend of Carl.

Your body language is very interesting.

Oh, God, I was afraid you were going to say that.

You've got very expressive hair, but you've got it scared of you.

Now, that's really odd, because I don't think you're violent.

Here, let's have a look.

Ooh, really tense.

Look, I'm not going to hurt you.

Very nice.

Well, it doesn't work.

You hate it.

You've got a touch to it.

How do you manage being a doctor in that?

Oh, I'm all right with patients. It's just people.

Female people in particular.

And where do you get your cuddles from?

Oh, I don't get any cuddles, Lynne.

Your wife doesn't cuddle you?

My wife doesn't even hit me anymore. She's working on becoming an ex -wife.

Ah, that's it, then.

You've just done a bit of dodgy learning.

You're a behaviourist.

Of course I'm a behaviourist. Isn't everyone?

Well, blow me down, Doc.

Touched a boob.

You're really something.

Thanks, Lynn.

Do you want to do some work on it?

What sort of work?

Well, you could help me with my research.

I'm doing a little paper on touching permissions in various social groups.

It would come along and keep me company.

At the same time, I could sort you out a little learning programme.

How about that?

Couldn't I just do seven years in analogous instead?

I haven't got that much time, Doc.

I'm a woman in a hurry.

How do you feel about tin churches?

You preachers don't have masters here.

This one's called Colin. Supposed to be the face of the earth.

He does laying on of hands on a goodness.

Jesus loves every one of us.

He even loves me, and I'm a sinner.

Yes, I am.

We're all of us sinners.

And do you know the wonderful thing?

Jesus doesn't mind.

He doesn't mind.

He says, that's not important.

Just go along as we can feel the power of his love.

Amen. Amen.

Tonight is one of the good nights.

It's so strong in this room.

I know there are some amongst you feeling it's as strong as I am.

Don't fight against it.

Let it flow through you as I'm letting it flow through me.

I can feel it in the soles of my feet, flowing up through my spine, into my

heart, all through my veins, surging through my blood. The lamp of Jesus is

quivering at my fingertips like electricity.

Who will share it with me?

Who wants to feel the love of Jesus?

Yes.

Yes.

Come on.

Come on, you've been waiting such a long time.

The love of Jesus.

Shutting out the pain of the world like the gentle rocking surge of a mighty

ocean.

The love of Jesus.

It's so strong tonight.

Do you feel that?

Do you feel the love of Jesus?

Come on then, all of you.

Join hands. Let it flow through us all.

Let's all partake of the love of Jesus.

Feel it.

Feel it flowing round.

Let's multiply it a hundredfold, a thousandfold.

That's the love of Jesus.

Amen.

One, two, three, turn. Very fast on this one. Very fast.

And shake it up. Fingers, arms, legs, toes, ankles.

And bend over and shake it up.

Fine. Sit down.

Right.

Now you know something about energy.

We'll just finish up with a couple of truss things.

Hello, Lynn.

Sorry we've missed the start.

Is it all right we sit in and watch?

One, you nearly missed the whole thing. Two, nobody sits and watches. Either

you're in or you're out. OK, we're in.

Fine, take your shoes off.

OK, find a partner and some space, someone you haven't worked with before.

Hey, didn't I get you before?

No one else left.

OK. Right, stand facing.

Foot apart. Hold hands.

Now slowly lean back and out.

Feel the weight.

Find the balance.

Trust your partner.

When you think you're ready, take it all the way down till your arses are half

an inch off the deck.

And hold it.

And up.

And down.

I'm trying, honestly.

You're not. I am.

Like this.

And up.

OK, Sandra, let's swap.

Relax, OK? This one's easier.

Faith to your partner.

This one's about empathy.

Make contact, fingertip to fingertip.

One partner leads.

The other is the mirror image.

Don't speak.

Don't make conscious decisions. Discover who's who.

Make the move slow.

The aim is total cooperation, total empathy.

Okay?

Do it.

Don't look at your partner's hands and feet. Look at your partner's eyes.

Feel what you have to do.

And finally, make the moves really, really small.

Concentrate on the eyes. That'll help you.

Imagine you're an eye doctor making a diagnosis.

Look very deep and very close.

And reach a point of stillness.

Fine.

Relax.

I thought you'd be troubled, but you were getting it there at the end.

Right, that's it for tonight.

See you next week.

I'll be with you in a minute. Just a minute.

You haven't forgotten, have you? What?

You said you'd come back for coffee.

No, Angie, you said that. I'm sorry, I've got something on.

Oh, tuck in, please.

Three things you ought to know.

One, I don't mess around with my students.

Two, I'm in a long -term relationship.

Three, I'm gay.

Okay?

You're working really well tonight.

Okay, night, everybody.

I'm awfully sorry, this won't take a minute. What?

Could we just have a brief word in private? Look, it's late. I'm tired.

a date. What is it? I just thought I should make sure. You are getting

for glaucoma, aren't you? For what?

Um, um, glaucoma.

It's an eye disease. It was when you asked us to imagine that... I know what

I've said. What do you know about it?

Well, I am a doctor.

Oh, Christ.

Was it serious?

Look, I'm not sure. I'm not a specialist, and the light isn't very

Come in and see me tomorrow. If it is what I think it might be, I'll fix you

appointment with a specialist. Don't answer me. Is it serious? Can I go

If it is glaucoma, yes, it is serious, but it is completely treatable.

You won't go blind. That's a promise.

Come and see you tomorrow, then.

So, how's it all going?

Fine.

It's really great.

Well, my father says, get your sex life sorted out and everything else just

falls into place.

I may have a point there.

So that's what you've done, is it?

Mm -hm.

Well, with a little help from my doctor.

Really wonderful.

Good.

Oh, you know I'm not telling the truth, don't you?

I hardly ever do.

I get it from my father. I think he just tells lies all the time. He lets

everybody down.

He called it his creative temperament. Doesn't give a bugger for anyone.

I'm not doing anything with Carl.

I just made that all up in my head.

And I haven't been on the pill before.

I just told you that so that you wouldn't think I was a virgin.

Which I am.

I'm scared of the whole business of sex. Isn't that pathetic?

It's more common than you think.

I'm really hopeless.

Oh, well, go on, then.

Aren't you going to kick me out? Everyone else does.

Carl Pierce won't kick you out of his classes. Not if you keep working. He

me you're a very promising student.

No.

And I'm not kicking you out.

Nobody wants us sticking.

Doctors do, Angie.

That's why we're here.

You don't have to be feeling well to go to the doctor.

You're taking the piss out of me.

Only a bit.

Well, actually...

I thought I might try going home for the weekend soon. I mean, they are really

awful people, but you know where you are with them, and I sort of miss them in a

way.

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Good that, isn't it?

Something your father says?

No, I found that one myself.

Yes, that's good.

Oh, cheer up, Dr Dacre. It may never happen.

I'll buy you a drink when my grant comes through, okay?

Well, you know I'm really into older men.

I came in to tell you I've got engaged to be married.

Well, fine.

Congratulations.

This is my fiancé.

How do you do?

And I want to go on the pill.

Fine.

Hello, Doc.

Long surgery.

That's your drink. Oh, Lynne, I do.

You do just mean a drink. I wouldn't have to do any all -in wrestling or

exorcism or anything.

No, I wouldn't.

Oh, don't be bitter.

You're not a bitter bugger. Oh, I'm sorry, Lynne. Just been rather a taxing

days. Don't think I could stand another week like that.

Come on, you've done fine.

Carl Pierce is going around telling everyone you've saved his eyesight.

You're even making progress on your touch, Daboo.

Am I?

What's going on down here?

Sorry?

We're holding hands!

Oh yes!