Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no

like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. There ain't no place like. There

ain't no place like. There's no place like home.

I mean, no place like.

Okay,

Ray. One, two, three, push.

If you ask me, anything that heavy looks good where it is.

Pearl, please, you know the entire executive board is going to be here

at noon.

Why don't y 'all leave that sofa alone like Lester told you?

Pearl, this lunch is important to me. It's important to me, too. I get hungry

about that time.

Can you imagine the nerve of that Emma trying to steal the presidency away from

Mary?

Well, let's get going, baby.

Who's dead?

When anybody's dressed like that, it's not Sunday.

Somebody's dead.

It's my uncle, and we're going to the reading of his will.

Oh. I hate to leave you with all the work.

Oh, Mary, don't worry about it. Go ahead.

Get that money, girl.

Okay, I'll see you later. Okay.

Mary. Well, what are you doing here? My good deed for the day. I just wanted to

make sure that our both running for the same office won't interfere with our

friendship. Our friendship?

Honey, if that's what you're worried about, don't give it a thought.

You know, I'd love to stay and chat with you, but Lester and I are on the way to

see a lawyer.

Divorce? How tragic.

But I could see it coming.

We are not getting a divorce, Emma.

On second thought, come in.

Rose, Pearl, Emma.

Why don't you ladies help Brenda? I want to chat with Emma for a minute. All

right.

What is it, Mary?

Emma, would you do me a favor?

Would you stay here and see that Rose and Pearl don't move my furniture?

I mean, all day they've been trying to get me to put the sofa over there. And

they put the sofa over there, I would just die.

You can count on me, Mary.

I knew I could.

Mary Jenkins, you a mean woman?

Yeah.

Harvard Graduate School, Georgetown Law School. This guy's got more degrees than

a thermometer.

Honey, what if it turns out that your uncle was a millionaire?

Oh, come on, Mary.

No, I mean it.

Listen, it happens all the time.

People get millions of dollars from relatives they never even knew.

Oh, I wonder what we'd do with a million dollars.

We?

Yeah, we.

Oh, I guess you'd be like everybody else, huh?

Dump your wife, marry some young fang, and run off to Europe.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'd run off to Rio.

Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, I'm Ben Chadway. Please, please keep your seat.

Now, before we get to the estate.

Estate? I like the sound of that.

Well, under the condition of the will, you will be sharing your inheritance

a distant cousin.

You mean we have to share the estate?

Afraid so.

Mr. Bennett, would you please show Chester Jenkins into the room?

This is exciting.

You've got a cousin you didn't even know you had.

Hey, hey, hey, Gus.

Listen, he's not your cousin. Huh?

He is.

What? Well, I'll be a flea on a hound dog.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bell, hot -tailed in here.

And here's the rest of the family.

You forgot to tell me.

Chester, they're black.

Uh, there must be some mistake here.

No mistake.

You're black.

Well, I think I can help clear this up. Please, everybody have a seat. Mr.

Bennett?

I've been researching your family tree for ten long months.

Now, in 1882, Lester's and Chester's great -great -grandfather, Patrick

came to America from Ireland.

Ireland? No wonder you like potatoes so much.

A couple of years later, he married Sally Burns, a black woman. That must

been your side of the family, huh?

Golly, this has been one of them soap operas.

Sally gave birth to twins, Andy and Randy.

Andy, being light -complected, found his way into white society.

Randy was dark and found his way into black society.

Found his way?

Andy begat Lloyd.

who begat Charles, who begat Chester.

And Randy begat Floyd, who begat Milton, who begat you, Lester.

Are you sure about all this begat?

That's all up there in black and white.

Now about the will.

Your uncle wanted to bring both branches of the family together, so he put an

unusual stipulation in the will.

Now to collect your inheritance,

Your two families are required to spend a week together under the same roof.

Wait a minute.

Under the same roof? You mean live together?

Well, I don't know about that.

Well, that's a stipulation.

It's a matter of $10 ,000.

Well, we got plenty of room at our place. Why don't y 'all come stay with

Where is your place?

Arkansas.

Arkansas?

Shoot, we live a whole lot closer than that.

I think they better stay with us.

Well, that's mighty nice of you, cousin.

Cousin?

Cousin?

Well, it seems he has some relatives he didn't know he had.

Well, what are they like?

You remember you used to watch those reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies?

Lester, your cousins are hillbillies?

Hillbillies? Yeah, ain't that something?

Lester's great -great -grandfather was an Irishman. Can you be Irish and black?

Ask Anna Murphy.

Well, I don't know about Anna Murphy's great -grandfather, but mine was white

and so were my cousins.

Wow, wait till they hear about this in my black history class.

Well, now you really have a good reason to march in the St. Patrick's Day

parade.

What's everybody laughing at? I got some cousins that happen to be from Arkansas

and they happen to be white. And it happens to be fun.

Howdy, y 'all. Hi, y 'all.

Come on in.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bell, and Chester meet Rose Holloway and Pearl Shea. Are you

cousins, too?

Uh -uh.

These are our friends, our best friends.

And this is our daughter, Brenda.

She's your cousin.

Hi. Hi, your cousin, Brent.

She's cuter than you born back up.

You know, people are always telling her that.

When?

Why don't you all have a seat?

This is some place you got here. Ain't it, Amy Jones? Oh, it's some place.

It's a heap better than that motel we stayed in last night. What was the name

it? King's Motel.

Yeah, and it cost us a king's ransom to stay there.

$8 .50 a night.

Why don't you show Bonnie Bell your room so she can freshen up?

Okay, come on. You mean you got your own room?

Dolly. It's back here.

Yes, it's someplace, all right.

Cousin Lester, here's a picture of our place.

Oh.

So, you're Lester's cousins, huh?

Appears so.

Now that you mention it, I can see the resemblance.

Why don't you show your cousins where to freshen up?

Oh, right this way.

Mary!

How come you haven't invited me to this big luncheon of yours?

Because it's only for the ladies' auxiliary and you're not a member.

That's only because of my rule.

What rule?

I never meet with women after 6 o 'clock at night.

Well, Sandra, you could give us a hand. Mary's up for re -election, you know.

I know that.

I used the same idea to become president of my senior class in high school.

And how many lunches did that take?

I think the boys took me out about 10 or 11 times.

One by a landslide, huh? Uh -huh, 74 to 65.

There were 65 girls in the class.

That is a mighty fine bathroom you got there.

Oh, goody, a plumber, just what I need.

What did you go to handle?

Uh, come again?

Uh, Sandra, this is Chester, and he's not a plumber. He's Lester's cousin.

Oh, glad to meet you.

Now, about that luncheon, maybe.

Excuse me, Sandra.

You don't seem the least bit surprised that Lester's got a white cousin.

Well, actually, I am, but I didn't think it'd be too polite to show it. But now

that it's out in the open...

You should see the view from Brenda's room.

More cousins?

More cousins.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bayard, this is Miss Sandra. Pleased to meet you. Are you a

star? Yeah.

You're beautiful.

Oh, I like these relatives, Mary.

Say, babe, what you got in the kitchen? These folks probably hungry.

Oh, you're right, honey. Excuse me.

Why don't we sit down right over here and get acquainted, okay?

I'm sure there's a lot you want to know about me.

Well, everybody seems to be getting along okay.

Yeah, it might be fun having them around after all.

Hey, wait a minute. You got that big lunch tomorrow.

You sure they won't be in the way?

Oh, probably won't even know they're here.

Did you know your cousin is a champion

hog caller?

And we came in second. in the husband and wife contest.

Come on.

City folk don't get up till five.

Amy Jo, it's Saturday.

What's left of it.

That's what I need, or I'll throw it to the hogs. Lord, whatever you do, don't

call the hogs.

Who wants to say grace?

Cousin Chester, why don't you do the honors?

strengthen us, and restore us.

Bless these relatives gathered here today. This coming together

of north and south, of city and country, of Africa

and Ireland.

And Lord, let's not forget the king.

Here's to you, Elvis.

It's delicious.

If you'd like, I can whip you up a bunch for your luncheon this afternoon.

What kind of meat is this, anyway?

Possum.

No, it's not, Amy Jo.

It's squirrel.

And there's plenty of them in that park, Your Honor, so there'll be plenty for

your luncheon this evening.

They seem odd to you?

Well, they seem about half strong.

That's what I'm talking about.

So Mary's all head up about having a few women in to eat. She calls Miss Pearl

on telephone. All she has to do is holler out that window.

And Lester, he looks like he's got a lot on his mind.

Must be why they didn't finish breakfast. I suppose so.

Later on, I saw Lester plop one of those fizz things in a glass.

I wonder if you got any white folks on your side of the family.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If I can't find none on my side, I'll borrow one of yours, okay?

It looks like I got enough to go around.

I wonder what Amy, Joe, and Chester think about us.

Us? Shoot, they'll probably think we're very stimulating, exciting people.

Yeah, especially me.

I bet they think we're the friendliest, most down -home folks they ever met.

Yeah, especially me.

Poor guy, out there in the sticks trying to scratch out a living on the bare

land. With probably three chickens and one old pig.

Poor guy.

He's got so much to worry about.

His big apartment, his business. You ever see so many closets full of

I guess the more you got, the more you got to worry about.

And the more you plop them fizz things.

You're really a good dancer, Brenda.

Thanks, Bunny Bear. I want to show you how to do the cabbage dance. Okay.

All right, it's like this.

One, two, one, two. One, two, one.

You got it, Bonnie Bell.

You're doing the cabbage bag.

We kind of do something like this at home. Yeah, we call it churning butter.

What kind of dances do you do back home in Arkansas?

Oh, mostly we do square dancing and clogging. What's clogging? Oh, it's like

this.

dance I do when I can't get into the bathroom.

You know what I like about 227, Brenda?

It feels just like a small town.

It must be fun living in a small town.

Well, it is, except for the busybodies.

Oh, ain't no busybodies here, honey.

Let me tell you about the time.

Speak up!

I'm an inquiring mind, and I want to know.

Chester?

Lester?

Well, how do I look?

Oh, you look fine. Stop worrying.

Lunch is going to be a big success.

What time does this wing ding start?

I can't wait to meet your friend.

Uh, excuse us.

Honey, can I see you in the kitchen?

I'll be right back, Chester.

Didn't you tell them that this lunch is for members only?

Me?

i gonna do all right i'll take them out for the afternoon oh you don't mind not

if it'll solve your problem without hurting their feelings oh you're a

well how do we

look you look fine stop worrying it's

too nice a day to stay inside so i'm gonna give you a real treat I'm gonna

you on the Lester Jenkins scenic tour of Washington, D .C. Come on.

But we gotta help Mary with her tea.

Oh, Amy Jo, don't be ridiculous. Don't even think about it. You'll have much

more fun sightseeing.

Sounds like fun.

Oh, uh, by the way, Cousin Mary, I cleaned up your kitchen for you. Boy,

creamy stuff you had sitting there looked like a swamp at low tide.

My souffle.

You didn't throw out my souffle. Uh, uh, Cousin, come on. We gotta go on a quick

tour.

This chicken is delicious. Isn't it, ladies? Thank you. It's my secret

The secret is it's cheaper by the bucket.

Amy, now, you've got to admit, this chicken is tasty.

You're right.

Why didn't I think of that at my luncheon instead of serving caviar and

lamon?

Excuse me, ladies.

I would just like to say that I think under my presidencies, we've

quite a bit. I mean, like the bazaar where we raised money for the charity.

bazaar? That was a winner. How much money did we raise on that one, Mary?

Well, it would have been a lot more, Emma, if you hadn't insisted on double

in the kissing booth.

I didn't get any complaints.

Of course not. We opened a second booth for that.

Excuse me, lady.

Mm -hmm.

Hi, babe.

Excuse me.

Honey, what are you doing home so soon?

Where are our cousins?

Well, I took them back then, and somehow we got separated.

I looked for them everywhere.

Oh, that's terrible.

Don't worry. They'll find their way back. They're Jenkins.

Mary, you better get back in there, because Emma said if she's elected

president, the first board meeting's going to be in Bermuda.

No, you don't worry.

Well,

we will have our annual dinner in Hawaii.

Honey! Not now, Sandra. Things are bad enough.

Oh, come on, Mary.

Sandra!

How nice.

I haven't seen you in church lately.

Have you been bad?

Yes.

Sandra was just leaving, weren't you, Sandra?

Oh, that's right.

You're not on the club's active list.

Not this club.

Sandra, not now.

Come listen to my story about a man named Jay.

They're back?

Uh -huh, up in my apartment.

I saw them in the park chasing squirrels. I didn't think you'd want

here.

Why, whatever would make you think that?

Okay, I'll go get them.

Keep them. I mean, until 4 .30. Oh, that's no problem. They're reading my

upstairs. They probably won't want to come down till Tuesday.

Must be the wing ding you was telling us about. Lucky we got back in time.

Yep, it's my lucky day, all right. Mary, this is supposed to be a luncheon for

club members only?

You must be, Emma.

We heard a lot about you.

I'm Amy Jo Jenkins.

This is my husband, Chester, and our daughter, Bonnie Belle Jenkins.

Jenkins? You must be hungry. How about some gabonza beans?

Any chicken left, cousin Mary?

Wasn't married.

We kinfolk.

Kinfolk. You mean you're all related to our president. How nice.

Well, what kind of wing ding is this?

We got to liven things up. Where's the grease pig, huh?

Wait,

wait, wait. I know what will liven up this group.

Chester.

about your running with Melvin Gump's bull last year? Oh, they don't want to

hear that. Oh, come on, Daddy. You know how everyone loves to hear that one.

Oh, you caught me into it.

Well, it was a hot July day, and I was out working the fields, sweating like a

one -legged sheep come sharing time.

So I decided to do a little skinny dipping in the pond.

Go on, go on.

Guess who's in the living room.

I thought I heard a suey.

Well, I tried getting them out to a movie. Oh, there you are.

Okay, Emma, I know what you're going to say. They're not members and you want me

to get rid of them. Oh, au contraire.

One rarely gets a chance to meet people so simple, so primitive.

I'd love to be there when you explain to them how indoor plumbing works. Now,

wait a minute. Those are my relatives you're talking about.

That's right.

Mine, too.

Well, say what you like, but your kinfolk are costing you the election.

Oh, then let them.

I mean, they're my kinfolk, and I'm glad they're here.