All language subtitles for 227 s03e23 Country Cousins

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you
don't need to roam. Cause there's no

like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old
ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. There
ain't no place like. There

ain't no place like. There's no place
like home.

I mean, no place like.

Okay,

Ray. One, two, three, push.

If you ask me, anything that heavy looks
good where it is.

Pearl, please, you know the entire
executive board is going to be here

at noon.

Why don't y 'all leave that sofa alone
like Lester told you?

Pearl, this lunch is important to me.
It's important to me, too. I get hungry

about that time.

Can you imagine the nerve of that Emma
trying to steal the presidency away from

Mary?

Well, let's get going, baby.

Who's dead?

When anybody's dressed like that, it's
not Sunday.

Somebody's dead.

It's my uncle, and we're going to the
reading of his will.

Oh. I hate to leave you with all the
work.

Oh, Mary, don't worry about it. Go
ahead.

Get that money, girl.

Okay, I'll see you later. Okay.

Mary. Well, what are you doing here? My
good deed for the day. I just wanted to

make sure that our both running for the
same office won't interfere with our

friendship. Our friendship?

Honey, if that's what you're worried
about, don't give it a thought.

You know, I'd love to stay and chat with
you, but Lester and I are on the way to

see a lawyer.

Divorce? How tragic.

But I could see it coming.

We are not getting a divorce, Emma.

On second thought, come in.

Rose, Pearl, Emma.

Why don't you ladies help Brenda? I want
to chat with Emma for a minute. All

right.

What is it, Mary?

Emma, would you do me a favor?

Would you stay here and see that Rose
and Pearl don't move my furniture?

I mean, all day they've been trying to
get me to put the sofa over there. And

they put the sofa over there, I would
just die.

You can count on me, Mary.

I knew I could.

Mary Jenkins, you a mean woman?

Yeah.

Harvard Graduate School, Georgetown Law
School. This guy's got more degrees than

a thermometer.

Honey, what if it turns out that your
uncle was a millionaire?

Oh, come on, Mary.

No, I mean it.

Listen, it happens all the time.

People get millions of dollars from
relatives they never even knew.

Oh, I wonder what we'd do with a million
dollars.

We?

Yeah, we.

Oh, I guess you'd be like everybody
else, huh?

Dump your wife, marry some young fang,
and run off to Europe.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'd run off to Rio.

Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, I'm Ben Chadway.
Please, please keep your seat.

Now, before we get to the estate.

Estate? I like the sound of that.

Well, under the condition of the will,
you will be sharing your inheritance

a distant cousin.

You mean we have to share the estate?

Afraid so.

Mr. Bennett, would you please show
Chester Jenkins into the room?

This is exciting.

You've got a cousin you didn't even know
you had.

Hey, hey, hey, Gus.

Listen, he's not your cousin. Huh?

He is.

What? Well, I'll be a flea on a hound
dog.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bell, hot -tailed in
here.

And here's the rest of the family.

You forgot to tell me.

Chester, they're black.

Uh, there must be some mistake here.

No mistake.

You're black.

Well, I think I can help clear this up.
Please, everybody have a seat. Mr.

Bennett?

I've been researching your family tree
for ten long months.

Now, in 1882, Lester's and Chester's
great -great -grandfather, Patrick

came to America from Ireland.

Ireland? No wonder you like potatoes so
much.

A couple of years later, he married
Sally Burns, a black woman. That must

been your side of the family, huh?

Golly, this has been one of them soap
operas.

Sally gave birth to twins, Andy and
Randy.

Andy, being light -complected, found his
way into white society.

Randy was dark and found his way into
black society.

Found his way?

Andy begat Lloyd.

who begat Charles, who begat Chester.

And Randy begat Floyd, who begat Milton,
who begat you, Lester.

Are you sure about all this begat?

That's all up there in black and white.

Now about the will.

Your uncle wanted to bring both branches
of the family together, so he put an

unusual stipulation in the will.

Now to collect your inheritance,

Your two families are required to spend
a week together under the same roof.

Wait a minute.

Under the same roof? You mean live
together?

Well, I don't know about that.

Well, that's a stipulation.

It's a matter of $10 ,000.

Well, we got plenty of room at our
place. Why don't y 'all come stay with

Where is your place?

Arkansas.

Arkansas?

Shoot, we live a whole lot closer than
that.

I think they better stay with us.

Well, that's mighty nice of you, cousin.

Cousin?

Cousin?

Well, it seems he has some relatives he
didn't know he had.

Well, what are they like?

You remember you used to watch those
reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies?

Lester, your cousins are hillbillies?

Hillbillies? Yeah, ain't that something?

Lester's great -great -grandfather was
an Irishman. Can you be Irish and black?

Ask Anna Murphy.

Well, I don't know about Anna Murphy's
great -grandfather, but mine was white

and so were my cousins.

Wow, wait till they hear about this in
my black history class.

Well, now you really have a good reason
to march in the St. Patrick's Day

parade.

What's everybody laughing at? I got some
cousins that happen to be from Arkansas

and they happen to be white. And it
happens to be fun.

Howdy, y 'all. Hi, y 'all.

Come on in.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bell, and Chester meet
Rose Holloway and Pearl Shea. Are you

cousins, too?

Uh -uh.

These are our friends, our best friends.

And this is our daughter, Brenda.

She's your cousin.

Hi. Hi, your cousin, Brent.

She's cuter than you born back up.

You know, people are always telling her
that.

When?

Why don't you all have a seat?

This is some place you got here. Ain't
it, Amy Jones? Oh, it's some place.

It's a heap better than that motel we
stayed in last night. What was the name

it? King's Motel.

Yeah, and it cost us a king's ransom to
stay there.

$8 .50 a night.

Why don't you show Bonnie Bell your room
so she can freshen up?

Okay, come on. You mean you got your own
room?

Dolly. It's back here.

Yes, it's someplace, all right.

Cousin Lester, here's a picture of our
place.

Oh.

So, you're Lester's cousins, huh?

Appears so.

Now that you mention it, I can see the
resemblance.

Why don't you show your cousins where to
freshen up?

Oh, right this way.

Mary!

How come you haven't invited me to this
big luncheon of yours?

Because it's only for the ladies'
auxiliary and you're not a member.

That's only because of my rule.

What rule?

I never meet with women after 6 o 'clock
at night.

Well, Sandra, you could give us a hand.
Mary's up for re -election, you know.

I know that.

I used the same idea to become president
of my senior class in high school.

And how many lunches did that take?

I think the boys took me out about 10 or
11 times.

One by a landslide, huh? Uh -huh, 74 to
65.

There were 65 girls in the class.

That is a mighty fine bathroom you got
there.

Oh, goody, a plumber, just what I need.

What did you go to handle?

Uh, come again?

Uh, Sandra, this is Chester, and he's
not a plumber. He's Lester's cousin.

Oh, glad to meet you.

Now, about that luncheon, maybe.

Excuse me, Sandra.

You don't seem the least bit surprised
that Lester's got a white cousin.

Well, actually, I am, but I didn't think
it'd be too polite to show it. But now

that it's out in the open...

You should see the view from Brenda's
room.

More cousins?

More cousins.

Amy Jo, Bonnie Bayard, this is Miss
Sandra. Pleased to meet you. Are you a

star? Yeah.

You're beautiful.

Oh, I like these relatives, Mary.

Say, babe, what you got in the kitchen?
These folks probably hungry.

Oh, you're right, honey. Excuse me.

Why don't we sit down right over here
and get acquainted, okay?

I'm sure there's a lot you want to know
about me.

Well, everybody seems to be getting
along okay.

Yeah, it might be fun having them around
after all.

Hey, wait a minute. You got that big
lunch tomorrow.

You sure they won't be in the way?

Oh, probably won't even know they're
here.

Did you know your cousin is a champion

hog caller?

And we came in second. in the husband
and wife contest.

Come on.

City folk don't get up till five.

Amy Jo, it's Saturday.

What's left of it.

That's what I need, or I'll throw it to
the hogs. Lord, whatever you do, don't

call the hogs.

Who wants to say grace?

Cousin Chester, why don't you do the
honors?

strengthen us, and restore us.

Bless these relatives gathered here
today. This coming together

of north and south, of city and country,
of Africa

and Ireland.

And Lord, let's not forget the king.

Here's to you, Elvis.

It's delicious.

If you'd like, I can whip you up a bunch
for your luncheon this afternoon.

What kind of meat is this, anyway?

Possum.

No, it's not, Amy Jo.

It's squirrel.

And there's plenty of them in that park,
Your Honor, so there'll be plenty for

your luncheon this evening.

They seem odd to you?

Well, they seem about half strong.

That's what I'm talking about.

So Mary's all head up about having a few
women in to eat. She calls Miss Pearl

on telephone. All she has to do is
holler out that window.

And Lester, he looks like he's got a lot
on his mind.

Must be why they didn't finish
breakfast. I suppose so.

Later on, I saw Lester plop one of those
fizz things in a glass.

I wonder if you got any white folks on
your side of the family.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If I can't find none on my side, I'll
borrow one of yours, okay?

It looks like I got enough to go around.

I wonder what Amy, Joe, and Chester
think about us.

Us? Shoot, they'll probably think we're
very stimulating, exciting people.

Yeah, especially me.

I bet they think we're the friendliest,
most down -home folks they ever met.

Yeah, especially me.

Poor guy, out there in the sticks trying
to scratch out a living on the bare

land. With probably three chickens and
one old pig.

Poor guy.

He's got so much to worry about.

His big apartment, his business. You
ever see so many closets full of

I guess the more you got, the more you
got to worry about.

And the more you plop them fizz things.

You're really a good dancer, Brenda.

Thanks, Bunny Bear. I want to show you
how to do the cabbage dance. Okay.

All right, it's like this.

One, two, one, two. One, two, one.

You got it, Bonnie Bell.

You're doing the cabbage bag.

We kind of do something like this at
home. Yeah, we call it churning butter.

What kind of dances do you do back home
in Arkansas?

Oh, mostly we do square dancing and
clogging. What's clogging? Oh, it's like

this.

dance I do when I can't get into the
bathroom.

You know what I like about 227, Brenda?

It feels just like a small town.

It must be fun living in a small town.

Well, it is, except for the busybodies.

Oh, ain't no busybodies here, honey.

Let me tell you about the time.

Speak up!

I'm an inquiring mind, and I want to
know.

Chester?

Lester?

Well, how do I look?

Oh, you look fine. Stop worrying.

Lunch is going to be a big success.

What time does this wing ding start?

I can't wait to meet your friend.

Uh, excuse us.

Honey, can I see you in the kitchen?

I'll be right back, Chester.

Didn't you tell them that this lunch is
for members only?

Me?

i gonna do all right i'll take them out
for the afternoon oh you don't mind not

if it'll solve your problem without
hurting their feelings oh you're a

well how do we

look you look fine stop worrying it's

too nice a day to stay inside so i'm
gonna give you a real treat I'm gonna

you on the Lester Jenkins scenic tour of
Washington, D .C. Come on.

But we gotta help Mary with her tea.

Oh, Amy Jo, don't be ridiculous. Don't
even think about it. You'll have much

more fun sightseeing.

Sounds like fun.

Oh, uh, by the way, Cousin Mary, I
cleaned up your kitchen for you. Boy,

creamy stuff you had sitting there
looked like a swamp at low tide.

My souffle.

You didn't throw out my souffle. Uh, uh,
Cousin, come on. We gotta go on a quick

tour.

This chicken is delicious. Isn't it,
ladies? Thank you. It's my secret

The secret is it's cheaper by the
bucket.

Amy, now, you've got to admit, this
chicken is tasty.

You're right.

Why didn't I think of that at my
luncheon instead of serving caviar and

lamon?

Excuse me, ladies.

I would just like to say that I think
under my presidencies, we've

quite a bit. I mean, like the bazaar
where we raised money for the charity.

bazaar? That was a winner. How much
money did we raise on that one, Mary?

Well, it would have been a lot more,
Emma, if you hadn't insisted on double

in the kissing booth.

I didn't get any complaints.

Of course not. We opened a second booth
for that.

Excuse me, lady.

Mm -hmm.

Hi, babe.

Excuse me.

Honey, what are you doing home so soon?

Where are our cousins?

Well, I took them back then, and somehow
we got separated.

I looked for them everywhere.

Oh, that's terrible.

Don't worry. They'll find their way
back. They're Jenkins.

Mary, you better get back in there,
because Emma said if she's elected

president, the first board meeting's
going to be in Bermuda.

No, you don't worry.

Well,

we will have our annual dinner in
Hawaii.

Honey! Not now, Sandra. Things are bad
enough.

Oh, come on, Mary.

Sandra!

How nice.

I haven't seen you in church lately.

Have you been bad?

Yes.

Sandra was just leaving, weren't you,
Sandra?

Oh, that's right.

You're not on the club's active list.

Not this club.

Sandra, not now.

Come listen to my story about a man
named Jay.

They're back?

Uh -huh, up in my apartment.

I saw them in the park chasing
squirrels. I didn't think you'd want

here.

Why, whatever would make you think that?

Okay, I'll go get them.

Keep them. I mean, until 4 .30. Oh,
that's no problem. They're reading my

upstairs. They probably won't want to
come down till Tuesday.

Must be the wing ding you was telling us
about. Lucky we got back in time.

Yep, it's my lucky day, all right. Mary,
this is supposed to be a luncheon for

club members only?

You must be, Emma.

We heard a lot about you.

I'm Amy Jo Jenkins.

This is my husband, Chester, and our
daughter, Bonnie Belle Jenkins.

Jenkins? You must be hungry. How about
some gabonza beans?

Any chicken left, cousin Mary?

Wasn't married.

We kinfolk.

Kinfolk. You mean you're all related to
our president. How nice.

Well, what kind of wing ding is this?

We got to liven things up. Where's the
grease pig, huh?

Wait,

wait, wait. I know what will liven up
this group.

Chester.

about your running with Melvin Gump's
bull last year? Oh, they don't want to

hear that. Oh, come on, Daddy. You know
how everyone loves to hear that one.

Oh, you caught me into it.

Well, it was a hot July day, and I was
out working the fields, sweating like a

one -legged sheep come sharing time.

So I decided to do a little skinny
dipping in the pond.

Go on, go on.

Guess who's in the living room.

I thought I heard a suey.

Well, I tried getting them out to a
movie. Oh, there you are.

Okay, Emma, I know what you're going to
say. They're not members and you want me

to get rid of them. Oh, au contraire.

One rarely gets a chance to meet people
so simple, so primitive.

I'd love to be there when you explain to
them how indoor plumbing works. Now,

wait a minute. Those are my relatives
you're talking about.

That's right.

Mine, too.

Well, say what you like, but your
kinfolk are costing you the election.

Oh, then let them.

I mean, they're my kinfolk, and I'm glad
they're here.