Original subtitles

That no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no

like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with the same old ways. No, no. Pulled together, we'll make it

round. With him, room, our friends and family.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. There ain't no place like. There

ain't no place like.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place like.

expect me to buy at sight unseen?

Oh, Mr. Chickens, you've seen chocolate bars before.

Yeah, come on, Daddy. They're to raise money for team uniforms.

Yeah, I know, but they're all different kind of chocolate bars. What kind are

you selling?

We got the $1, the $2, and the $3.

All right, Calvin, the 50 -cent ones are my favorite.

Oh, come on, honey. Get $10 worth of candy. It's for a good cause.

That must be Manny with the candy. All right, Manny with the candy.

Hi, Brandon.

Hey, madam. How are you?

Mom, Dad, this is Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins.

Oh, Manny's told us so much about you.

Hi. My name is Mary, and this is my husband. Leslie. Hi, hi.

My name is Anna, and this is my husband. Mr. Gonzalez.

His name is Alfonso. Now that we are best friends, I wonder if I could have a

glass of water.

Oh, sure.

With lemon.

Okay. And one tea bag.

Um, I think what you want is a glass of iced tea.

Thank you. I'd love one.

Well, this is a very nice neighborhood, Lester.

Oh, yeah, we like it. So, Lester, how many candy bars did you buy?

Hey, I'm one of the biggest customers.

Must be talking about his honey.

Oh, Mr. Gonzalez, how about you buying a candy bar? I already bought a $5 one.

Oh, but the most expensive one is $3.

Many?

Uh, I owe you two bucks, Pop.

Here's your iced tea.

Ah, I needed that.

Would you like anything else, like a breadcrumb?

Well, we really got to run. It was very nice meeting you. Manny, don't be late

again. She wants to get to the store before it closes. They're having a sale

underwear.

Does everybody have to know our business?

You're right. They're having a sale on silverware.

I'm sure they have your size.

Women. Yeah.

Women. I was talking about all the women, baby. Not you.

Now, we'll each take a floor in the building, okay? I've never sold anything

door to door.

Well, it's easy.

You just got to get the people on your side.

Now, how do I do that?

Well, first, you limp up to the door, right? And then you... Manny!

See if you can limp over to this door.

Hi, Manny, Mary. Oh, Lester, you're home. Good. Can I borrow you?

What's up, Rose? What do you need?

Well, the window shade in Sandra's bedroom was broken.

That explains that traffic jam this morning.

I thought you were going to hire a handyman.

Well, I'm trying, but I haven't gotten one single reply to my ad.

Okay, I'll go take a look at it. Oh, thanks a lot.

You know, maybe you're not offering the right incentive for a handyman.

Well, Mary, if I find the right person, I'm offering an apartment with 25 % off

the rent.

That's a good deal.

Hey, are you kidding?

It's got to be 50 % off if it's a dime.

And don't call him a handyman.

You know, give him prestige.

Call him building superintendent.

You got to make it worthwhile for him to uproot himself.

Hey, you know, he's right.

I'm going to change that ad right now. Thanks, Manny. Wait a second.

I could save you time and money.

Money? Now, I like the sound of that.

Hey, you need a person who's versatile in carpentry, electricity, and plumbing.

You need Alfonso Gonzalez.

Who? My father.

Um, is he good with his hands? Oh, good. He is an artist.

Close enough.

Well, what do you think of the pad, Dad?

Good acoustics.

I love it. Good.

Anna, do you know what my son did for us?

Alfonso, why is it whenever this son does something good, he's your son? And

when he does something bad, he's mine?

You notice that, too?

Mom, it's great, isn't it?

Manny, it is a beautiful apartment.

There must be something wrong.

I mean, a place like this in such a nice neighborhood, it should be twice the

price. We can ask them to raise the rent.

I thought I married a concert violinist. I got a comedian.

Anna, do you always have to be so negative?

There doesn't always have to be a catch, right, son?

A catch?

Well, there is one little thing.

I'll get it.

Come on, Miss Clark. Come on in. This is my father, Alfonso, and my mother,

Anna. Hi.

Nice to meet you. Welcome to the building.

Especially you, Alfonso.

I've been waiting for Rose to send me somebody like you for months.

Here's the keys to my apartment.

What is this for?

What is that for?

So you can let yourself in.

Oh, I understand your attraction, but unfortunately, I'm a married man.

A happily married man.

Congratulations.

You're supposed to take care of everybody in the building. I'm going to

first.

What are you talking about?

Well, you're going to be getting a lot of calls, Alfonso. Some of these women

are desperate.

¿Qué está pasando aquí? ¿Qué está pasando aquí? ¿Esta mujer está loca o

That's easy for you to say.

But I expect your husband in my bedroom in ten minutes.

Okay, pack your violin.

We're going home. Now, wait a second. Hold on.

I think I can explain.

Oh, yeah? Well, start talking.

Uh, well, a long time ago, when, Mom, you came here from Puerto Rico, and

Dad... Dad, you came here from Mexico. I told everybody Pop was the building

superintendent.

A janitor?

Anna, do you hear what your son is saying?

He's just kidding.

Don't you know when he's kidding? Come on, Manny, tell us you're kidding and do

it quickly before I break your head in a million pieces.

Think about it. It's the perfect situation.

Uh -huh. Look.

Dad can concentrate on his auditions while we all live in a nice home at half

the price.

So what do you say?

Are you crazy?

Manny, wrong. You are wrong.

Of course he's wrong.

But it's not a bad idea.

A building superintendent?

I don't believe that you are actually considering this.

I can repair things.

Oh, really?

It'll be a piece of tortilla.

But you remember, I'm the one who fixed the light switches in the bathroom. Oh,

yes, I remember. Every time we turned on the light, the toilet would flush.

How the hell did you get this broom stuck in the garbage, I suppose?

Look, I got tired of waiting for Alfonso.

Besides, I saw you do that a hundred times.

Well, you sure did a good job. I can't get that thing out. I gotta go get my

wrench.

I hope that's Manny's father.

What's happening, Mr. Jenkins?

It's about time you got here. You were due here hours ago.

Sorry about that.

Hey, did you see that?

What a punch.

Hey,

he's supposed to be fixing up.

Hook him, hook him.

And this is the TV.

Garbage disposal is in the kitchen.

Please.

I'm a professional.

I know the location of the garbage disposal.

Aren't you coming?

No, I'm going to the office.

You got a professional.

Just what I thought.

What? You got a bloom stock in there.

Did you see this big wooden thing with the hair?

Oh, now I see it.

Boy, it must have fallen while I was sweeping the ceiling.

I accept your apology. Let's go, Manny.

Where are you going?

You don't need me. You need a lumberjack.

is a plumber, which obviously you are not.

Aha!

You're attacking me because I'm Latino.

I cannot wear surrounded by prejudice.

Prejudice? Yes.

Prejudice? Yes.

Look, I'll have you know I saw La Bamba three times.

Three times?

Well, I watch the Cosby show every week.

Well, what you should be watching is Mr. Fix -It.

Fix my garbage disposal.

Okay, let's get started.

How to fix garbage disposal.

Follow directions closely.

That I can handle. Make sure disposal is turned off.

That I can handle. Reverse rotate the stylic bands between graphite flanges.

Okay, pack it up.

Tell your mother we're moving. Wait, Dad. I think it means to move the blades

counterclockwise by hand.

What do you mean?

Do I have to stick my hand down there? I'll do it.

Never mind.

You feel anything?

Nothing I want to talk about.

Can you turn the blades?

It's jammed.

Take your hand out.

That was jammed.

Oh, no.

It's stuck between two blades and a cantaloupe.

I hope it's a cantaloupe.

I better get Mrs. Jenkins. No, no, no, no. Don't tell anybody in this building.

Get your Uncle Victor. I thought you didn't like Uncle Victor.

I don't, but he's the only plumber in the family.

Stay where you are.

How are you coming?

Great.

But next time, don't put a squishy cantaloupe in here.

We didn't have cantaloupe.

Yeah.

Now look, I just came in here to make Brenda a sandwich not to spy on you,

So don't pay any attention to me.

I'll just switch on... I love

to sing while I work.

Oh, I just thought you might need a little more light.

No, thank you.

Oh, do you have the time?

1243. Anything else?

Mom!

Oh, yeah, would you put the bread over on the table for me? I'll be right back.

Oh, thank you, but Brenda's not hungry anymore. Would you put this back?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Jenkins.

This is my Uncle Victor.

Hello. I'm just here to give him a hand.

Right, Alfonso?

I thought you were almost through.

Yes, but I'm getting to the tricky part. Come on, Mrs. Jenkins. This could get a

little messy.

What do you got down there, Alfonso? Your violin?

Okay, Victor, get a good laugh and just get me out of here. Don't worry. I came

here to help.

As soon as I heard, I rushed right over. After all, we are family.

How much? Fifty dollars.

It's a wonderful idea you throw in this party for the Gonzaleses. Oh, well, it's

nice to reach out to your neighbors.

You know, Mary, I usually get paid when I play.

Well, child, let me give you five.

Me and me.

When I moved into the building, you didn't have a party for me.

Don't worry. I promise you, I'll make it up when you leave.

Alfonso, baby.

Will you play something sweet and love?

Getting romantic, eh, Pearl?

No, I'm tired, and I just want to go to sleep.

Calvin, let's go get the cake ready.

Yeah, I'll taste it to see if it's okay.

All right, all right, everybody gather round, gather round.

Now, in honor of our new neighbors, I... A fuse must

have blown.

I'll go get a flashlight.

Here, Mary, take these matches and light some candles.

Okay.

I hope the whole building isn't dark.

Whose hand is that?

Father, didn't you just change the fuses? No problem. I was expecting this.

know exactly what to do.

Anna, Manny, come follow me.

You'll see a genius at work.

I said, whose hand is that?

If it's not off in ten seconds...

Helper, child.

Well, I'm sure Alfonso will get this whole situation under control soon.

Well, I wouldn't bet on it.

Now, I asked Alfonso to do something for me, and he didn't even show up.

Pearl, Alfonso swore to me he went to your apartment, he rang your doorbell

at least five minutes, and nobody answered. Now, what did you want him to

anyway? The doorbell.

Hey, remember that window shade he was supposed to fix, Rose?

He glued it to the windowsill.

I haven't seen the sun in three days.

I don't think Alfonso's working out.

Yeah, you know, Rose, maybe you gotta get somebody else.

Oh, Sandra, hold on now.

I think we should give Alfonso another chance.

I agree with Rose.

Why don't we give him another chance?

Then we can throw him out.

Oh! See?

Rose was right.

I think we were all just a little too hasty in judging Alfonso.

Here's the cake.

Oh.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

Which nobody can love.

Alfonso, I think we need to talk.

I can't figure this out.

I'll never be able to fix the furnace.

Dad, we don't have any choice.

If you don't fix it, we're going to be looking for a new place to live.

How's my schoolboy?

I'm fine, Mom.

I was talking to your father.

Hello, this is Alfonso Gonzalez.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Oh, that's too bad.

You bet I can.

Right.

I'll be there.

Thanks.

The Washington Light Opera.

They want me to audition.

Alfonso, that's wonderful.

Hey, I thought your friend Sam got that job. He broke his arm.

Isn't that great?

What are friends for?

Well, I don't have much time. I have to change, practice a little, and be there

at 3 o 'clock.

Wait a minute.

You're supposed to fix the furnace by 3 o 'clock.

So I'll fix it by 6 o 'clock or tomorrow.

Don't worry.

No, but you gave Ross your word you would do it today.

Anna, I'm getting my chance again to play with the symphony orchestra.

Maybe this will be my big break.

I know that, honey, but I like it here. The people, the building, everything.

And the only reason we got this place is because you're the super.

Now, if you go on that audition and you don't get it, then we have nothing.

I'm going to the audition.

So, what about you?

Well, I'm rooting for you, Pop.

That's my son.

But I like it here, too.

Look at that. It's 3 o 'clock, and the furnace is still not working.

Oh, you see? I knew he'd chicken out.

Uh -huh.

Looks like your chicken has come home to roost.

Anna! Hi.

Where's Alfonso?

Alfonso is not coming.

Well, what's happening now, Anna?

Alfonso had an audition for a big symphony job.

He thinks it could be his big break.

I'm sorry, Rose. We'll be out of the apartment by the end of the week. I'm

sorry, too, Anna.

But I told Alfonso his duties come first.

Oh, come on, Rose. This could be a chance of a lifetime.

Mary, whose side are you on?

Well, yours, of course.

But, I mean, we don't want to lose Manny and Anna.

Besides, Alfonso can play that thing, child.

See, I told you.

I had to get a part, but don't worry. I'll have it done in another hour. I

you hens are satisfied.

Wait a minute, Alfonso. I mean, what about your audition?

Ah, there'll be others. People break their arms all the time.

Right, Mamita?

Right.

I get downstairs.

All right.

No, stop him.

Oh, Alfonso, Alfonso, forget downstairs.

You got an audition to get to.

What about the furnace? You said that you needed a full -time super. Starting

tomorrow, starting tomorrow.

Right now, you could be missing your big break.

Hey, look, I appreciate this, but... No buts.

Besides, I've always wanted front seats at the opera.

So get going.

Well, andale, andale, andale.

How long does an audition take?

Yeah, I mean, he should have been back by now.

Anna, I mean, when it takes this long, is that a good sign or a bad sign? Well,

that depends.

If he got the job, it's a good sign.

If he didn't get the job... It's a bad sign.

So this is fascinating.

There he is.

Oh, wait.

Now, don't press him. Let him tell it in his own words.

Hey. Looks like we're going to have a celebration.

Yes.

You got the job.

No. But they like my tuxedo.

Well, then what's the celebration for?

First, to thank Rose for giving me the shot at the audition.

It was a nice thing to do.

Oh, thank you. And second, we are celebrating my new job.

What new job? Oh, hadn't you heard?

I'm the new full -time superintendent at 227.

Well, time now for practice.

And auditions.

Starting now.

No problem.