Original subtitles

That's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause that's no place like

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by without flame away.

Boom together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends.

I mean, no place.

Okay, $2 ,250 per month.

Hey, Ms. Jenkins, how much does a teacher's aide make?

More than your mama makes.

All right,

give me one more occupation.

Bus driver.

How about a math teacher? We can find out how much Mr. Evans makes.

more occupation.

Why not, man? You got something to hide?

Okay,

Manny, I'll tell you what a teacher makes, but then you've got to go up to

board and work out the problem.

Ah, no way. What's the matter, man? You got something to hide?

Okay, Mrs. Jenkins, the average salary for a high school teacher is $500 per

week. $500? That's all?

Sorry.

Not as sorry as I am.

Okay, man.

Now, the problem here is that you have to convert all these figures to a common

unit so that we can see who's making the most money.

All right.

Cop, plumber, nurse, and teacher.

Well, would you mind explaining to us how you did that? Well, easy.

You go by what the dude drives.

All right. A cop has his blue and white sedan, right?

And the plumber drives his truck.

Well, a nurse drives an economy car. And the teacher, well, we've all seen that

little wind -up job from Yugoslavia you drive.

I knew I should have listened to my mother and become a nurse.

Granny, tell us how you figure this out.

I use my street smarts, Mr. Evans.

My street smarts. Oh, tell us. Street smarts? Hmm.

All right, all you street smarts.

All right, I got something I want you all to check out. I got a couple of

in my hand, and they add up to 35 cents, and one is not a quarter.

That's impossible.

You give up already? You prove that, and I'll clean your erasers for the rest of

the year.

Here's a quarter.

Here's a dime.

And here's an eraser.

You said one wasn't a quarter, man. One isn't.

The other one is.

You see, Manny, you can't always depend on street smarts.

You've got to understand the process, folks. If you don't, then the answer is

meaningless. If you had done your homework, then you would know that

to convert all these figures to an annual salary.

That's the process.

Then you would have found out that a plumber makes more than a police

All right. Hey, get your homework assignments from Mrs. Jenkins on your

That is the problem with your mom being a teacher's aide. You can never tell her

you don't have any homework.

Manny, you stay.

What do I do now?

Manny, you are a bright kid, but you've got to stop using shortcuts.

Okay? Okay, Mr. Evans.

Hey, don't let this out. But this class is pretty cool.

You're all right.

Get out of here.

All right. Later.

Later. It's fine. This is Jenkins.

Goodbye.

Hey. Hey.

I mean, don't let this get out, but I think you're pretty cool, too.

And don't forget you're coming over for dinner tonight. I wouldn't miss it.

Lester has another project he wants you to work on. I hope it's something you

can do on the weekend.

Great. Then I can get some hubcaps for my Yugoslavian car.

That McGrath computer company's after you again.

They told me they'd pay $50 ,000 a year to get a math whiz like you on their

team.

Mitchell, you just tell them that you're a school teacher, not a corporate

executive. I wonder why they keep bothering him.

$50 ,000 a year is not exactly bothering him. Frank, I wish the school board

would bother me like that.

Well, I've got a lot of homework to do from guess whose class.

Go ahead.

Mr. Evans.

If I have any questions... I'm sure you'll come up with the answers. That's

what I was thinking.

Great kid.

Yeah, thanks after a dad.

So that's why she leaves her socks lying around.

A woman's breath is never done.

Mind if we get another cup of coffee? Mine, I'll lead the way.

Good.

a dinner party? I was.

Turned out to be a dinner party for two.

Practically had to fight my way out of that man's apartment.

I was forced to show him my kung fu.

Sondra, you know you don't know nothing about no kung fu.

Believe me, the way I kicked him, he not only saw kung, he saw fu too.

Well, after that ordeal, you deserve some pecan pie. Come on in.

You know, Mary, I'm so upset. I don't want no pie. I'll just go, you know.

Hey, Mary, Lester said you knew where the sweet and low is.

I'm over here.

Hi.

Hi. Sandra Clark, meet Mitchell Evans.

A pleasure.

It sure is.

Uh, shall we sit?

Well, if I'm not intruding.

Uh, Mary.

Hi, Lester. Hey, Sandra.

Mary, may I make one small...

Oh, Lord, go ahead.

This man is gorgeous.

Sandra. Well, he is, so let's get right to it. Mitchell, are you married, gay,

or on your way to Tasmania?

I'm not married, I'm not gay, and I just canceled my trip to Tasmania.

Oh, Mary Lester, where you been hiding?

Mitchell is Brenda's math teacher.

Math teacher?

That's so ironic. Math is my life.

Now, how many times have I said to you, if a $160 dress goes on sale at a 40 %

discount, we should grab it?

You should hear her algebra.

May I ask you a question? With Sandra around, you better make it quick. You

don't get many chances.

Are you always this direct with someone you just met?

Well, only if I like the people I just met.

And I like you.

We certainly don't hold back. Takes me forever to get to know someone.

Well, then we better get started.

I know this great piano bar where the guy knows all these Duke Ellington

and they stay open late on Wednesday nights. And since this is a Wednesday

night... It is a school night.

Oh, then he can't come out and play.

Mitchell, Sandra's a wonderful person, but she loves to put people on the spot.

So just tell her you have papers to mark and lessons to prepare, and I'm sure

she'll understand.

Sandra, I do have papers to mark and lessons to prepare.

And I am nuts.

About Duke Ellington, too.

Looks like we're going to take the A train.

Oh, that was nice, Henry.

Never heard it better. When Chandra comes by, I always put a little more

to the hybrids.

She comes by often?

Don't answer that, Henry.

No way.

Besides, we've talked enough about me. All I know about you is that you teach

school and you like pecan pie.

I'm an open book. What do you want to know?

Everything. You like my hair, my dress? You think I talk too much?

I like your hair, and I love your dress.

And yes, I do think you talk too much.

But it works for you.

I mean, on a Wednesday night, I'm usually at home working on math figures.

Oh, you think we should leave? No.

I found the figure I'm more interested in.

Did you, uh...

Did you always want to become a teacher?

You know, I think if I hadn't become a teacher, I'd probably be stopping people

in the street correcting their long division.

I love it.

Well, I'm glad you became one. Why?

Because if you hadn't become a teacher, then you wouldn't have gotten a job at

Brenda's high school, and Brenda would have some cranky old biddy teaching her,

and who wants to sit at a piano ball with some cranky old biddy?

You have an amazing way of putting things.

And you have the most adorable smile.

And you have the most sensuous eyes.

This could go on all night.

With any luck, it might.

Sandra, how about singing one with me?

Oh, no, no.

Oh, come on, Sandra.

Henry, please.

I'm trying to make an impression on this gentleman.

I bet she's a real good singer, too, huh? She sure is.

Come on.

You're on, lady.

All right, but you asked for it.

Hit it.

Last dance.

Last chance for love.

Yes, it's my last chance.

Hi, Mary.

Just brushing up on tomorrow's lesson. I hate it when kids are smarter than me.

Good thinking, Mary. I do the same thing.

Mary, would you happen to know where Sondra is?

No, I don't. I haven't seen her all week.

You know, you two have been on quite a whirl.

Yeah, we've been to the Smithsonian, the National Gallery, the Library of

Congress. The Library of Congress?

Sit down, child.

Are we talking about the same Sondra? Tonight.

I thought I'd surprise her with the Marine Band concert on the Capitol Mall.

The mall.

Now you're getting into her territory.

Well, I can't believe you have Sandra interested in all these cultural things.

Yeah, we really hit it off. I mean, we didn't actually put it into words, but I

think we reached some sort of understanding.

Well, you and Sandra?

Shut up, Jack.

remember brenda's math teacher mitchell evans how about that a teacher who

makes house calls listen have you guys seen something well i saw her go out on

date a couple of hours ago who was it this time well i don't know but he said

was her type oh yeah what was that he was a man they're always joking

i mean Just because Sandra's a little popular.

A little popular?

Honey, Sandra goes through men like a box of Kleenex.

As soon as she's through with one another, Papa Sutton takes his place.

Why aren't you laughing? She's not laughing because I'm one of the Kleenex.

Now, Pearl, you have got to stop kidding about Sandra like that. She's always

kidding about Sandra like that. Who's kidding?

Well, Mitchell, what are you doing here?

I came to take you to a band concert, but I can see you got other plans.

Well, uh, I think I'll just run down and get that key and open your apartment.

So if you'll excuse Pearl and I, we'll be going now. Come on, darling.

Oh, wait. This has got to be good.

Pearl! Pearl!

Oh, dear.

Well, uh,

I wish you had called first.

Yeah, well, I can see that.

Uh, hi, everyone.

Mickey Wilson.

The Mickey Wilson.

Mickey, this is Mary Jenkins and Mitchell Evans.

A pleasure.

Excuse me, baby.

I guess you've been reading about the fight I'm promoting down south.

Remember the Thriller in Manila?

I'm calling this the Bruiser in Tuscaloosa.

Great. Did you think of that all by yourself?

We really got to be going.

Right, baby, right, baby. I'm taking her to dinner at the Weeping Willow.

The place is so expensive, you gotta flip the waiter $20 just to get him to

you it's not his table.

Let's go, Mickey.

Right, baby. Well, Sandra, you gotta go first class, or you don't go at all.

Right, baby?

Mickey, please.

Well, come on, baby. Let's go.

Your school teacher picked up at 9 o 'clock this morning, and it was 3...

Dirty when she came in the night before.

Well, where do you take her this time?

How do I know?

I don't spy on people.

You're so caught up in this romance, you don't even read the Enquirer anymore.

I know.

Oh, isn't it exciting?

Girl about town, trapped between wealthy suitor and struggling schoolteacher.

I don't know about the struggling schoolteacher part.

But what I do know is he's been whining and dining her for the past week.

Now, I want to know, where is he getting all this money?

Hey, babe.

Oh, hi, honey.

Ladies. Hi, Lester.

I thought you were going to stop at the cleaners.

I did, but when I got there, I realized I didn't have any cash with me. You

stopped at the bank yesterday.

Yeah, but I gave all the money to you.

Aha, that'll be the day.

No, actually, Mitchell needed advance against a job he's going to be doing for

me in a couple weeks.

and little triples for dessert.

Oh, Mitchell, what did you have?

Uh, coffee.

I wasn't very hungry.

Anyhow, would you all keep Mitchell entertained while I slip into my

attire? Where are you off to now?

There's a big new Broadway musical in town. We're dying to see it. Yeah, I'm

dying.

Hey, tickets for that show cost $40 apiece. Plus dinner.

Plus parking.

Plus tipping.

Yeah, isn't it amazing how Mitchell does all that? on his teacher's salary?

Yeah, amazing.

Maybe he's a lousy tipper. Oh, no, he over -tips, not to mention the flowers,

the restaurant, the candy, the limousines.

Well, how can you do all that?

I can't.

I've been living somebody else's life the last few days. I'm a math teacher,

Sandra.

And I guess you and I are just not adding up.

I'm sorry.

What is your mom doing?

I don't know.

Hello, everyone.

I'm sorry.

Mary, you've done a great job. I wish I could repay you.

You can.

Just tell me what I put up on this board.

Hey, Mr. Evans.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks, guys.

I apologize for not being here.

But... Now that I am here, don't forget we're having a quiz tomorrow on chapter

10. You forget the chapter now? Right.

Make that chapters 9 and 10.

Class dismissed.

Thanks, man.

Mary, thanks for taking over my class.

Oh, don't mention it.

Listen, are you all right? What's going on? Oh, it's Sandra.

It's been hell the last few days without her.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Oh, don't worry. These things are never easy.

Well, I've made a couple decisions, and the first one is to call Sondra. Oh?

Well, what happened?

I think we're going to be okay.

Great.

The other decision, well, I'll tell you about it tonight. Can you and Lester

join us at the piano bar?

No, we'd love to.

What time?

Eight o 'clock.

Well, do I get a little hint?

If you can explain to me what's on the board.

Uh -huh.

Piano bar. Piano bar.

Hey, how about another song?

What for? Did we already empty out the joint?

Hey, I want to make a toast.

Okay. To someone very close to my heart.

Me.

Sorry, next week I'm no longer going to be a teacher. I'm going to be an

executive at McGrath Computer Company.

You're taking the job.

Congratulations, you old money bag.

Oh, that's wonderful, Mitchell.

Oh, honey, why don't you and Mitchell get us some adores?

Okay. Come on, Mr.

Executive. You want some, babe? Uh -huh.

Oh, hold it.

Sandra,

look.

Can't you see what Mitchell is doing?

He's getting some Swedish meatball.

No. He's giving up a job that means a lot to him.

He was meant for this job.

Sandra, he's a wonderful teacher.

And he's so good with the children.

Let me try and understand. This will be a big step for him.

Mary, I understand what he's doing. I just don't know what I can do about it.

Well, he's doing it for you.

I mean, in the time he's been seeing you, he's become quite serious about

Now, just how serious are you about him?

Mary, I don't think that's any of your business.

I know that.

Answer the question.

Look, Sandra, the school system can't afford to lose teachers like Mitchell.

Well, Mary, well, you know, when he walked out on me, I was furious you were

there. I didn't think I ever wanted to see him again.

Until he called me.

Oh, Mary, I like him a lot.

I more than like him.

I like him a lot.

But are you ready to make a commitment to him?

Commitment? I'm not ready to commit to anybody.

I don't even like subscribing to magazines.

Sandra. You have got to tell him that.

I mean, you owe it to him to tell him exactly where he stands.

Well, here we are.

Meatballs today, caviar tomorrow. All right?

Oh, honey, let's dance.

Nobody else is dancing, man.

That's because nobody else is in here. All right, all right.

Mitchell, there's something I gotta tell you.

I got a million things to tell you, but you go first.

I don't think we should see each other again.

What are you saying?

I can't let you give up your teaching career because of me.

I'm not giving it up just because of you.

I'm tired of losing out on things because I'm living on a teacher's

I want to enjoy my life, and I want you to enjoy it with me.

Well, I don't even know if I'm ready to settle down like that.

Well, when will you be ready to settle down?

Well, I like my life just the way it is.

You do?

Yeah. You didn't seem too happy when you had to battle your way out of that

guy's apartment.

And you definitely didn't seem too thrilled with all those other guys

been running around with. Now, they didn't mean anything to me.

How many nights are you going to go out with guys who don't mean anything to

you?

It's about time you got off this merry -go -round.

Just give me one good reason why I should.

Because you love me.

I bet you can't remember the first time you heard that song.

It was a junior prom in high school on June 15th. You wore a red dress with a

white collar, plaid belt, and black patent leather shoes.

Oh, well, and just how did you remember that?

Because every time we hear that song, you ask me the same question.

Well,

it looks like they stopped talking.

So, how was everything?

Wonderful.

We're getting married.