Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no

like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no same old way. No, no. Pulling together, we'll make it

right. With help from our friends, I know we can fly. But there's no place

home. With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Ooh!

Is it too tight?

Mm -mm. The tighter, the better.

Child, to get it any tighter, I'd have to tattoo it on.

Just want to look good for Andrew.

He's an architect.

He likes everything well -constructed.

Why don't you tell me Andrew was a doctor?

Nah, I said you ought to see an operator.

Sandra, do you have to go out every night of the week? Did it ever occur to

to stay home and read some night?

I read every night.

What? French, Spanish, Italian, whatever's on the menu.

I got it.

Hi, Pearl. Hi, Rose.

Mary, could you loan me a cup of milk? Oh, sure.

And some butter?

Sure. And two cans of tomato soup, a head of lettuce, some lamb chops,

coffee, and an apple pie, if you got it.

Pearl, your Social Security check still hasn't come?

No, and it's been two weeks.

Pearl, why don't you just let us know when you need some money? No, I don't

your money. I want my check.

Well, if you like, I got some leftover snails from a French restaurant.

No, thanks.

I got enough snails in my window box.

We have a deal. I don't eat them, and they don't eat me.

But, Pearl, we're worried about you.

Well, Calvin and I have enough to last for a while, but it just makes it easier

with the check.

For you.

Ooh, Sandra.

Love that dress.

Thank you. Would you like to play a little... Post office.

Only if I get to cancel you first.

All right, all right. Cut the small talk. Have you got something for me?

Oh, uh, yeah.

Special delivery.

Hallelujah, it's about time.

Amen to that.

Hold on, you know you got a sign for it, darling.

Oh, anything for my money, honey.

Well, I'm certainly glad you came.

This isn't my check.

down the street was me.

I bought my money. Pearl, Pearl, it's not his fault. Well, whose fault is it?

The Social Security Department.

Why don't you call them?

I did, but they keep you on hold so long you could die of old age.

Well, then you should go down there first thing in the morning and get this

thing straightened out.

What you knitting, honey?

It's a sweater for my brother.

How do you like it so far, Jim?

Thank you.

What do you think?

Well, if he likes it, I like it.

Pearl Shea?

Will you two excuse me?

I'm really mad. I want my check.

First things first.

Social security number?

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

One nine.

Now, how can I help you? I came to get my check because it's two weeks late.

I see. And your name is Pearl Shea. That's right.

Formerly Pearl Wilson, Pearl Brown, and Pearl Gooden.

So I've been married. few times.

You gonna give me my check?

Well, that's going to be difficult.

Why? According to the computer, Pearl Shea is dead.

Next!

Oh, Mary, please.

Come on. It's the least I can do to thank you for altering my dress.

Oh, Sandra, you didn't have to.

Well, if you insist.

Oh, it's beautiful.

But there's only one earring in here.

You get the other one when you do my new pantsuit.

Take your pants and your earring back to the five and dime.

Pearl, what's the matter?

Nothing, except I'm dead.

At least according to the Social Security Administration.

And look at all these forms she has to fill out just to prove she's alive.

Lord, by the time she gets through with those, she will be dead.

Do I look like I'm dead to you?

Be honest.

You got more life in you than some of my dates?

Pearl, who told you you were dead?

Some fool down at the Social Security office.

They can't treat you like that. I'm going down there and straighten this

out. Well, count me in. Right on.

Believe me, I'd love to go.

But I got a lunch date with Andrew.

I try to make it down there afterwards.

Never mind, Pearl. We don't need her.

You know, Pearl, I just feel bad if they said you were dead.

You shouldn't, because if I'm dead, I ain't paying you no rent.

That's him. He's the one that said I was dead.

I'll take care of this.

Excuse me.

I'd like to talk to you.

It's 12 .59. My lunch is over at 1.

Well, good. Then you have 60 seconds to listen.

We'll get to your Social Security problem after one.

My Social Security problem? Do I look like I'm 65?

Is that a trick question?

Who would you like to eat this pocketbook for dessert?

No, thanks.

I had a Twinkie.

Mary! Mary!

Mary,

now, sometimes it takes a little honey to take the sting out of a bee.

Excuse me, perhaps you could help me.

What is it?

Well, it's about my friend, Pearl Shea.

Oh, the dead one.

Such a wry sense of humor.

I bet deep down inside you're a nice, sweet, gentle man.

Are you propositioning me?

Who do you think you're talking to?

Rose, what's the matter? Did you run out of honey, little bee?

Excuse me. What do you mean, tell him my friend she's dead? No, madam, I merely

stated that Pearl Shea is dead.

I have no idea who that is.

Fool, I'm Pearl Shea.

According to the computer, Pearl Shea is dead. Unless you can prove otherwise,

I'll believe the computer.

The computer has no reason to lie.

Are you calling me a liar? Now, Pearl, just show him some ID.

Yeah. Madam, I have people waiting. Hold your horses.

Here's my senior citizen's bus pass, and you can't ride the bus if you are dead.

That says Pearl Shade. But her picture's been cut off.

I sent it to my sister Lulu for Christmas.

Well, I know this could be stolen.

Oh, come on. What more do you need? I'm telling you, this is... Pearl Shade.

Maybe she is and maybe she isn't, but you'll have to come back with more than

this. However, I must warn you there are quite severe penalties for fraud.

Fraud? Now, you listen to me. She has been paying Social Security all her

That money belongs to her.

If you want to pursue this, go ahead.

Where are the forms I gave you?

I tore them up.

Until the forms are filled out, we can't process your claim.

And how long is that going to take?

30, 60, 90 days.

Look, somebody in authority needs to know that you're out here treating

citizens like they're crazy. Now, I want to see your supervisor.

You can't talk to my supervisor. He's busy.

Busy doing what?

Important stuff.

Now, if you and your dead friend will excuse me, I have to get back

to my important stuff.

You can't come in here.

I told you I am not dragging Lester into this. Why not?

Because after he bails me out, he'll kill me.

Not if you kill him first.

empowered lawyer friends to get us out of here.

Hello?

Palamos?

I'd like an order of your scampi, a la Giovanni, and a half a carafe, your best

suave, to go.

Oh, wait a minute, hold on.

Could you give me a dress, Sarge?

Get us out?

She didn't even get us lunch.

What'll happen to you, honey? You got style.

Oh, thank you.

When you get to the farm, Big Bertha's gonna love it. I love you.

You don't scare me. The men prisoners will protect me.

Men? We're going in co -eds.

No men?

Mary, you got to get us out of here.

And miss your scampi?

Either you call Lester or we're going to have to start digging our way out of

here. Digging? I don't do digging.

Get me the Senior Citizens Task Force.

I think she's in here for bad manners.

All right, let me through!

Sounds like my phone call got some action. I had no idea senior citizens

those words.

You want to hear some more?

Good afternoon, Sergeant.

I'm from the Social Security Office. I'm here to press charges.

Ah, you couldn't press laundry, you wimp.

A name, please.

Jay?

Carswell, Premington.

Your mama didn't like you either, huh?

Sir, what charges are you filing?

Fraud, conspiracy, aggravated assault.

Aggravated assault?

You assaulted me and I'm aggravated.

Reckless endangerment, destruction of property. What property?

You... disrupted my work area, and destroyed official government forms. And

broke my pencil. That's because I couldn't get to your neck.

You belong behind bars.

Oh, yeah?

Well, we're going to file charges, too. Yeah. What charges?

How about abuse of authority and dereliction of duty?

You must be Mary Jenkins.

Yes, and this is Pearl Shea, and that's the man who's been denying her her

benefits. All right, let's get some light in the sky over here.

He said I was dead.

Dead?

Sir, what do you have to say to that?

No comment.

That's the first time you shut your mouth all day.

Yeah, why don't you tell her and the world how you had us dragged down here.

And put us in jail with the dregs.

Nothing personal, honey. You give my best to Big Brother, would you?

I'd like to get a name on the cell.

We are here at the 23rd District where four women have decided to take on big

government. Three women! All I said was high!

Excuse me. Excuse me. On behalf of the Senior Citizens Task Force,

I salute your protest.

Hey, get it outside, honey. Get it outside. Let's go. Out. Out.

Out. Out.

Now, don't you wish you had been a little nicer?

Yeah, you should look great on the 6 o 'clock news.

And I hope your mama's watching.

The news returns after this brief message.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Sugar. Hi, Calvin. Hey, Mr. Jenkins.

Daddy, look what Calvin did for our plant.

Hey, the one that was almost dead.

What'd you use on it, Calvin?

Green paint.

Surprise, Brenda. I got off work early and I started dinner. Where's your

mother? I don't know. Can I help fix something?

Sure. Why don't you fix some of that soup you made the other night?

That wasn't soup. That was macaroni and cheese.

Isn't that Miss Jenkins right there?

Violence erupted at the local social security office today.

Authorities arrested four women in a dispute over a social security check.

The women, led by Mary Jenkins...

by security guards.

Now, for the weather, here's... But how did all that happen?

It's called just being married.

Well,

you might as well go on out there and face it.

Yeah, go ahead. I'd like to hear how you justify sticking it to this kind old

grandmother. Wait till President Reagan hears about this. He's over 70, you

know.

All right, all right. I want to drop the charge.

Okay, sir.

Just fill these out and sign them.

All this just to drop charges?

Imagine if you had to get a check.

Okay, ladies, party's over.

Oh, let's get out of here.

No,

no, no, no, no, no.

Come on, Mary.

She still doesn't have her check.

You see what you've done? Prison's made a loser of mine.

Mrs. Jenkins, please.

I am not coming out until Pearl gets her check.

You think you're pretty bad, don't you?

Well, I just might have to find out how bad you are.

Don't let your mouth... Write a check your butt can't cash.

What?

Uh, I said they got bugs in here. I'm getting a rash.

Now, Mary, there's nothing I would like better than to stay around here and make

a point for social justice, but I got a date tonight.

Well, then, fine.

Go ahead.

All of you, just go ahead.

Just leave me here in this car. miserable dungeon alone.

Oh, Mary, you won't be alone.

Keep her company, will you, honey?

Sandra!

Sandra, Mary's right.

No, she's not.

Will you get out of our cell?

I'm not leaving either.

Well, I'll stay after her is my check.

walking out on your buddy.

It's the mercy day.

Come on now, but I can do more good on the outside talking to the TV people

anyway. A picture's worth a thousand words.

Especially if it's a meme.

This is insane.

In fact, it's illegal.

Isn't this illegal?

Yeah, I guess.

Look, if you ladies don't come out of there, I'm going to have to arrest you.

What are you going to do? Put him in jail?

Mary Jenkins.

Should have known he wouldn't be a little guy.

Mary!

What are you doing in there?

Huh? Huh, hell.

Are you mad?

Mad? Why should I be mad? Most husbands pick up their wives at the beauty

parlor, the market. I'm picking mine up at the jail.

Lester, don't blame Mary.

That's the yo -yo that had us arrested.

Who, him? Hey, don't look at me. I dropped all the charges.

Mary, am I supposed to believe you're in here for the hell of it? Honey, he

dropped the charges, but Pearl still doesn't have her check.

And we're protesting.

Aren't you going to give her her money?

There are forms to be filled out, procedures.

How is little baby Calvin doing?

Did you feed him his bottle?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and I burped him, too.

But he won't stop crying.

He really misses her.

Well, I guess I better go and brief these reporters on what's going on. No!

Don't you see they're making me out to be a bad guy.

No comments!

Fremington.

I am very unhappy with the way this thing has been handled.

But, sir, I... Fremington, put a sock in it.

I cannot tell you the embarrassment this publicity has caused me and the entire

branch. Mr. Drake, we have procedure.

The next time something like this arises, I expect you to act with

diligence, and patience.

Yes, sir. Now, where's the claimant in question?

I'm the claimant, and the question is, where's my money? I hope you'll excuse

for any trouble we've caused you. Please, please accept my apologies,

with this check.

It's from the emergency fund, Dodo.

Thank you, honey. No, no, no. You're more than welcome.

Oh, we did it!

Come on, Barrington.

You've wasted enough time.

Oh, Cremington, Barrington, what's the difference?

No!

See what happens when you stick to your guns?

Girls!

Girls!

I'm doing real good with the TV people.

Sonny, just relax. Everything's under control. Pearl has her check. Oh, good.

But I'm not talking about that.

I got a date with the news director.

He says he thinks he can get me in the television news.

You are the television news.

Get him out. Get him out.

Well,

look. like the establishment just didn't know who it was messing with. You did a

good job, ladies.

Oh, thank you, Lester. It's so good to have friends like all of you. This is

happiest day of my life. Isn't it wonderful?

It's great.

Oh, I love it.

You should. The check's made out to Mary Jenkins.