Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Those times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old ways. No, no. Pulled in together, we'll

it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly back. No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like that. There ain't no place like that.

I mean, no place, child.

Ooh -wee! I just saw Sandra get out of one of the longest limousines I have

seen. The chauffeur was in one block, and she was in the other.

But listen, what I want to know is, how did Sandra meet a congressman in the

first place? The operative word is man.

Congressman.

Sorry. I lost my head.

She'll be up here in a minute, bragging all over the place. I know it. Right.

Hey, let's play a trick on her. When she comes up, just act like we don't hear

her. Oh, okay, great.

Remember, everybody get bored. Okay.

Come in, it's open.

Hello,

ladies.

Guess who I was out with again?

Chaka's on sale for 76 cents a pound.

Only Congressman Rivers, the most eligible bachelor in the House of

Representatives.

That ain't nothing, Pearl. Have you seen the price of turkey wings lately?

He's invited to every important party in Washington.

Rose, you want to go to the market today?

No, I want to go to the party with the congressman.

I'm tired of reading about scandals. I want to be one.

You traitor.

were interested, Pearl almost fell out that window.

So, Sandra, where did he take you today?

We had brunch in Georgetown. Then we took a spin in the helicopter.

Then he took me on a personal tour of the Pentagon.

All eight sides.

I just hope the cost of that trip ain't coming out of my taxes. Oh, don't worry

about that, Mary. He's an honest man.

He's a member of the Ways and Means Committee.

And he certainly knows the ways, if you know what I mean.

Just as long as he ain't using my means for his ways, if you know what I mean.

Sandra, I must say, your taste in men has definitely improved.

You know, we are a devil some night. Any night.

Tonight's good.

Tonight's special. I'm cooking Anthony dinner.

There goes that romance.

Well, there's no great mystery to cooking. A few pots, a few pans, and a

recipe for Mary.

I got a great one.

A restaurant.

Fine. When I'm sitting in the White House, don't expect any free tours.

Okay, okay.

I'll give you a recipe.

Thank you. When I'm First Lady, you can still call me Sandra.

But only in private.

As if I didn't have enough to do.

Brenda's teacher's coming tonight.

Uh -oh. Is Brenda in trouble?

No. She just happens to like her and invited her to dinner. That's all.

Huh. I remember when you could bribe the teacher with an apple.

There.

There.

Honey, put it back in the closet.

What are you talking about? That's a valuable piece of art. Mm -hmm. The

restaurant you tore down only had a dozen.

Well, I like it, and so will Miss Mumford.

happened? I followed your recipe. That's what happened. I stuffed that duck. I

plucked that duck. I did everything right.

Did you turn on the oven?

The recipe didn't say that.

Mary, you gotta help me.

Brenda, get her a match.

Mary, please. I got a congressman coming up.

Something smells good in here.

Oh, no. Not tonight.

Brenda's teacher's coming for dinner. A teacher? Oh, that's perfect. We have

dinner with a little happy family and a teacher. Oh, that'd be big brownie

points for me. Come on, Mary, please.

You know, Mary, it's been a couple of weeks since we had a congressman for

dinner.

Get two more napkins. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I knew I could

on you, so I left a note telling Anthony to meet me here.

You what?

I gotta dance.

I'm out of my favorite cologne.

Your mind is what you're out of.

Oh, come on, honey. We got a teacher and a congressman coming for dinner. Now,

this thing has got to go.

Now, give me that. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Yes.

Oh,

hi. Come on in, Miss Mumfrey.

Hi.

You're Miss Mumfrey?

Um, I was just about to put this in its rightful place.

It is in its rightful place.

Hi, I'm Lester Jenkins.

And this is my wife, Mary.

Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Brenda's told us so much about you.

Well, not everything.

She didn't bother to mention how, uh, how... How tall I was?

That, too.

Dad, guess what?

Miss Monfrey studied at the Sorbonne in Paris.

Oh, so you parlez vous français?

Ah, oui.

Votre femme a des yeux vraiment formidables.

Oh, that's very nice.

What does it mean?

Your wife has beautiful eyes.

Oh, yeah, she does.

Thank you. I was just about to get some hors d 'oeuvres.

That's French for cheese dip.

How about Polly wooing me a hand in the kitchen?

Excuse us.

So, how are you coming with that collage? Great. I took your advice and I

some old news photos.

You want to see it?

Sure. Okay, I'll be right back. Okay.

Mrs.

Jenkins? Oh, no.

She's in the kitchen.

Oh, oh. Well, this note was on Sandra's door.

I'm Anthony Rivers.

Yeah, the congressman.

You ruined my Sunday. I did?

Yes, on Meet the Press, you were supporting budget cuts for the arts.

Oh, like I said, I think the money should come from the private sector.

Don't you want your taxes cut?

Well, not if it means losing the next Picasso or Van Gogh. Here it is.

Or the next Brenda Jenkins.

Hi. Hi there.

Well, hello, Congressman Rivers.

Then you must be Mrs. Jenkins.

Yes. How are you? And this is my husband, Lester. Lester, nice to see

you've already met our daughter, Brenda. Yes, indeed, and she's quite an artist.

With a little help from my teacher.

So that explains it.

You're an art teacher.

That's right. I'm Betty Mumphrey.

Hmm.

Maybe I should review those budget cuts.

Maybe you should.

Uh, perhaps we should all sit down.

Uh, Miss Mumfrey?

Congressman?

Uh, Sandra should be along in just a moment.

Ah, there she is now. Brenda?

Calvin,

what are you all dressed up for?

I just thought I'd change into something comfortable for the evening.

Hi, Miss Monfrey.

I see you made it.

Yes, just like you said. Second floor on the left.

Calvin, did you spill something on yourself?

Oh, that.

After hours of painting, I feel I deserve a refreshing scent.

But the rest of us don't deserve it.

Calvin, what hours of painting? Didn't I tell you?

I'm doing a portrait of my grandmother. I call it Grandmother.

This is quite an artist colony.

Starving artist colony.

I'll get another plate.

Annie!

Anthony!

Sondra! Oh, I'm sorry to keep my favorite congressman waiting. I guess

met everybody less than Mary Brenda Calvin.

Who's that?

This is Brenda's art teacher.

I'm Betty Mumfrey. You know, there's a terrific Italian restaurant they just

opened on the corner. We'll have some wine and some pasta. Come on, let's go.

Oh, but Sandra.

Oh, Sandra, darling, I'm so tired of restaurants and banquet halls.

Some home cooking will be quite a treat.

Then why don't we all sit down to a nice, warm family dinner?

A nice, quick, warm family dinner.

It's 4th and 20, and McMahon hands off to Peyton, and he pops through and

scores, and Chicago wins it by a point. Whoa!

Could you hand me the cream, please?

I'll help you clear the table, Mary.

Sports,

politics, art.

She covers more topics than a 6 o 'clock news.

Oh, she's a teacher. She's bright.

That woman is no teacher.

Teachers don't look like her. They look like you.

I'm quitting art. Calvin hasn't talked to me all night.

Oh, come on, you two. You're both overreacting.

You're right, Betty.

Betty? Betty'd like some more whipped cream, babe. Hurry it up, would you?

Betty?

I'm sending you to private school.

So the psychiatrist says, well, you're just going to have to pay double for

split personality.

She's witty. She's beautiful.

She's intelligent.

She's leaving, honey.

Oh, my.

How time flies.

It's already 8 .30. Let's go see a movie. I'd like to go for a walk.

Yeah, take a walk, Calvin.

What were you saying about a book, Betty?

Oh, yes, I have been reading this fascinating book on Voltaire's life.

Wasn't he remarkable?

I read that book.

Terrific book, wasn't it, Sandra?

Terrific. But, you know, I must admit, I was a little bit puzzled by that last

chapter. What did you make of it?

It's hard to say. I read it in the original Spanish.

But Voltaire was French.

Not in the paperback edition.

Well, it's been a wonderful evening, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to go.

So soon?

Well, I have an early morning meeting with the Greek deputy minister.

Isn't he the one that set up that ancient Greek art exhibit?

As a matter of fact, he is.

Oh, you know, I've been trying to get a ticket for a week.

Oh, there's a private reception Saturday for the opening.

I might be able to get you an invitation.

Oh, I would love that.

I've always been interested in ancient Greek art.

Haven't I, Mary?

Haven't I, Mary?

Yes, I don't know how many times I've turned to Lester and said, Lester, I

Sandra would shut up about ancient Greek art.

Well, invitations are tough to come by, but why don't I see if I can finagle

two?

Sandra, I've enjoyed meeting your friends.

We must do this again sometime.

I really must be going, too.

Can I use your phone to call a cab, please?

I can drop you off if you like.

No, don't bother. Lester's truck is right outside.

No, no, no. It's no bother, Sandra, really. I don't mind.

Thank you.

I've enjoyed dinner and meeting you. Thank you. My pleasure.

Brenda, I will see you in school.

And, Sandra, I look forward to seeing you at that reception Saturday night.

I'll be there with gloves on.

She means it could be a cold night.

For one of them.

My car is parked just down the street.

Where did you say you lived? Up on Observatory Hill. You know, it's a full

tonight, and the view from my place should be wonderful.

Now, come on. Let's go over those Greek philosophers again.

Remember the song I taught you?

Socrates connected to Plato, Plato to Aristotle.

They're all so philosophical, and it's all Greek to me.

Oh, I really appreciate your help, Mary, but I wish you could stay, though. Oh,

now, don't start. I promised Lester I'd get you settled and be ready when he

picks me up.

Besides, you're going to be with the congressman.

Come on.

Presenting Miss Sandra Clark.

and Prime Minister Tinsley from the island of Palo Del Sol.

A prime minister?

But how come they didn't announce me?

They did, Madam Prime Minister.

What? Anthony's secretary said only two people sent their regrets. It was either

her or the general from Portugal, and he's bald.

I got a big regret for you. I'm leaving.

Excuse me.

Madam Prime Minister, I'm Billy Dee Williams.

I've visited your lovely island, the Caribbean, many times, and I've been

looking forward to the pleasure of meeting you.

How long will you be in our country?

Day -o.

Day -o?

Day -a -a -o.

I beg your pardon.

Daylight she come, me want to go home.

It's jet lag.

She had an exhausting flight. I'm Santa Claus.

It's a pleasure.

Excuse me, Mr. Williams. Could I get a picture here, please?

Oh, of course.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Williams.

I need to get a shot of the Prime Minister.

Scooter.

Okay. One more, quickly.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll take a dozen eight -by -tens.

Good evening.

Well,

if it isn't little Miss Mumfrey.

I see more than just school is out.

I thought that we were going to be able to be adult about this evening.

I don't see why not. We are both mature, educated women.

Good. I'm glad to hear that.

Ooh, you got a run in your stocking. Oh, no.

Sorry I'm late. I got tied up in a meeting.

Oh, the party was wonderful. Let's go catch a movie now. No, no, no, but I

got... Oh, Betty.

Ooh, you look sensational.

Oh, thank you.

Are you enjoying the exhibit?

Well, I really haven't had a chance to see it yet.

It starts on the other side of the room. Why don't you beat the crowd, Betty?

Well, why don't we all go to see it together?

Sure, follow us.

So then Princess Di, she say to me, me want to do limbo, but Charlie, he want

play polo.

It's first time they do limbo on horseback.

Sounds like you had a lot of fun with the royal couple. Oh, did I, child? I

mean, no.

Come on.

Anthony, welcome.

Hey. Ladies, meet the Greek Deputy Minister of the Arts, Nicholas Triandos.

nice to meet you. Clark. How do you do? Mumfrey. Minister.

Pleasure to meet you. Is she not exquisite?

Remarkable blending of form and beauty.

Thank you.

I'd say from the lifelike expression, it's probably from the Hellenistic

I can see you are a student of the arts.

She is a teacher of the art. A teacher.

We Greeks have a proud history of teachers, dating back to Plato,

Don't forget Aristotle, in case you didn't know.

He was Plato's student, you see.

Socrates was connected to Plato, Plato to Aristotle.

They're all so philosophical, and it's all Greek to me.

I'm gonna get me some punch.

This is a disaster.

I'm making a fool of myself.

You? What do you think about me?

Lester saw me now, he'd kill me.

Look, I'm just here to pick up my wife. I'll only be a minute. I'm sorry, sir,

but I told you I can't let you in without a proper invitation.

Look, man, I've been waiting in that parking lot for half an hour. Now I'm

in there and getting my wife.

If you have any problems, call me.

Your mama.

Billy Dean Williams.

Oh, hi.

Hi, I'm Lester Jenkins. It's a pleasure to meet you. Oh, nice to meet you.

You know, I saw The Empire Strikes Back four times. Well, I saw it six times. I

guess we got something in common. Only difference is, I paid.

Sandra, I'm in trouble.

You ate one of those hors d 'oeuvres, didn't you?

Lester's here.

Where? Talking to Billy Dee.

Now, Billy will find out I'm a phony.

What are they doing now? They're looking this way.

Sandra, you know where Mary is? She's around.

And where's the prime minister?

Talking to Mary. Bye.

I thought we'd lost you.

Not on your life.

Miss Murphy, why don't you find some roving congressman to twirl around with?

I'm sorry, but I promised Anthony the next dance.

The next dance is yours.

I'll be right back, okay?

Want to dance?

Being in the construction business, you're probably interested in the kind

marble the ancient Greeks used. I mean, look at the detail in those folds.

No, actually, in Italy, they make the best marble.

I didn't know that.

Dale.

Hi -o.

What are you doing back there?

And what's the matter with your eyes?

Oh, you met the prime minister.

Prime minister?

Uh,

from the island of Polish the Soul.

and I've also met her daughter, Princess Brenda.

I didn't know you were married, Madam Prime Minister.

Maybe not for long.

your left arm?

If not out your way.

Oh, no.

Oh, Mr.

Williams, it has been enchanting.

Well, I can assure you it's been a pleasure.

Mrs. Jenkins, come on.

Nice meeting you, Mr. Williams. Come on.

Take it from me, when the right guy comes along, there won't be any

I'll get the car.

Oh, Sandra.

You know, Mary, that was the kind of man I had been dreaming about all my life.

Come on, you just met the guy.

Yeah, but I knew him long enough to know it was going to be a long time before I

feel like that again.

Ladies, I thought you were leaving.

Well, I was, but Sandra's a little upset.

I don't feel too good.

My ride's gone.

You wouldn't happen to have a car, would you?

Sure, where do you live?

On top of Observatory Hill.