Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Those times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old ways. No, no. Pulling together, we'll

it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly. No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Come on in. The door's open.

Hi, Mary.

This fool woman's going to blow the whole thing.

No, don't spin the wheel. Solve the puzzle.

It's one if by land, two if by sea.

I'd like to solve the puzzle.

One if by land, two if by sea.

The boat and the trip.

I don't want nobody wanting those stupid canoes.

Okay, they're going to commercial.

You've got exactly one minute, ten seconds to talk.

Mary Jingles, you are becoming a Wheel of Fortune junkie. That Pat Fajak, he

could spin my wheel anytime.

Girl, are you still getting all the answers before the contestants?

Of course I am.

I don't understand how they keep missing them. Girl, it drives me crazy. Look

here.

Now, if I'd been on that show instead of sitting here, just last year alone, I

would have won $420 ,000 in prizes.

That's cars, sofas, boats, and no telling how many dining rooms there are.

instead, I'm sitting here with eye strain and a sore behind.

Well, you know, Mayor, we're starting to worry about you because every time that

show comes on, you become impossible to be around.

Oh, Rose, stop exaggerating. I mean, I like the show and all that, but it's not

my whole life. Good, we're glad to hear that.

Because Pearl and I are going shopping now. You want to go?

Are you out your mind?

The bonus round's coming up.

Ooh, Mary.

Hi, Mary. A letter of yours was delivered to me by mistake.

Oh, thanks. I'm impressed. It says, Wheel of Fortune.

Wheel of Fortune? Let me see that. Look at that. Wheel of Fortune. Hollywood,

California.

Secretary, give me the letter. Look at that, Pearl.

How did Mary get this?

If you ever give it to me, I'll tell you.

I wrote them to find out if they ever interview for contestants here in

Washington. And I guess they do.

Oh, really? I'm going to be on Wheel of Fortune. That's wonderful.

Oh, I'd love to go to Hollywood.

I could be Diane Carroll's stand -in on Dynasty.

Then I could kind of ease her out.

It's only me, Clark.

Hey.

Uh -oh.

They're not planning to come to Washington in the near future. Oh,

bad. I'm not surprised.

I never win anything when it counts.

Maybe if you stood up straight and used some eye shadow or something.

Mary, look. You didn't read far enough in the letter. It says here if you're

ever out in Los Angeles, they'd be happy to interview you for the show.

Mary, you're good at that game. Go to L .A. and do it.

Oh, come on. Oh, she's right, Mary. You could come back a rich woman.

Look at all the stuff she could have won if she'd have been in that show.

With my luck, it would never happen in real life.

$420 ,000?

Sort of rustles your buckle, don't it?

How would I even get to L .A.? Six new cars?

I would love to go to California and take Brenda, too. But how would I

Lester? You know, you've been married long enough to know how to do that.

A couple of dabs of passion power and a halter top works for me.

Now, Mary doesn't have to do all that. All she needs to do is sit Lester down

and have a nice, civilized conversation.

And what if he doesn't feel like being civilized? Start dabbing that passion

power, baby.

Mom, do you really think that lasagna is going to get us a trip to Hollywood?

Honey, take my word for it.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Get real, Mom.

Miss Smarty Pants, how would you handle it?

Well, if I were married, I'd walk right up to my husband and say, Calvin, did I

say Calvin?

I meant Mr. X.

I would say, X, I'd like to fly out to the coast with our lovely daughter, and

that would be that.

Get real, Brenda.

Wait till I tell you what happened at work today.

Oh, honey, forget work.

This is your castle.

Now you just sit there and relax before dinner.

Uh, no dinner for me. I ate too much lasagna at lunch.

Oh, Mom, why don't you try my approach?

Why don't you try your homework?

Oh, shoot, I'm supposed to go up to Charlie's for the football game tonight.

I'm too tired to go out.

Well, why don't you just have the guys come over here, honey?

What?

Is this the same Mary Jenkins that ran a vacuum cleaner straight through my

Super Bowl party?

Oh, honey, you're the king and this is your castle.

You can have the guys off here every Monday night if you want to.

Okay, okay, whoever you are, take off that Mary mask.

It's just that you do so much for us and, well, sometimes I just don't think

do enough for you.

You really mean it.

Football here every Monday night.

Thanks, babe.

What can I do for you?

Don't worry about it.

Maybe you can take me on a long weekend somewhere.

Oh, that reminds me of what I was going to tell you about.

I'm bidding on a new contract next week. The headquarters is in L .A., and the

three of us are heading west.

Thanks, Daddy.

I'm going to call the guys and tell them the game's going to be here every week.

Come on.

Come on, baby.

Could you make some of those weenies into blankets? The guys just love them.

And next week, you can just serve us some cold cuts.

Brenda Jenkins, don't you say a word.

Is this where you drive for the Wheel of Fortune?

Uh -huh. Oh, we have just come from the Universal Tour, and I saw Eddie Murphy

in his car. He actually talked to me. Really? What'd he say? He said, woman,

off my hood.

He sounded just like himself. Mom, it was so embarrassing.

Oh, Brenda, I'm having so much fun, I tell you, nothing can spoil this trip.

Not with my luck. How did you get here? How did I get here? My pilot friend,

Maurice. We flew across country last night. Who the flight was?

It was Maurice.

Question number two. Why are you here?

All the great prizes on this show.

Mary, I could use a home entertainment center.

Sandra, you are a home entertainment center.

I've waited a long time to get on this show, and I don't want you to spoil it.

Excuse me, could you please take your seat? Who are you supposed to be? I'm

of the contestant coordinators. Oh, lovely dress.

All right, if everyone could please find a seat.

Now, Mary, let's remember, these people are looking for exciting, energetic,

enthusiastic contestants.

So, how's everyone doing today?

Great!

and I'll be getting you started on your tests and interviews to get on Wheel of

Fortune. Now, before we get started, I need anyone who's not here to be a

contestant to please wait in the lobby.

Good luck, Mom.

Bye -bye, Ms. Clark.

Now, why don't we all get to know each other?

Is there anyone here who'd like to tell us something about themselves?

Me! Me! Me! Me!

I'm Sandra Clark. I come from Washington, D .C. My hobbies are

safaris, and hang gliding.

I've done a great deal of modeling and I grew up on a farm in New Zealand.

That's where she learned to use that shovel.

Is something wrong?

Oh, no, no, no. I was just listening to the dairymaid churn her butter.

And you are?

Oh, um, I'm Mary Jenkins.

Oh, you two are friends?

Like Reagan and Gaddafi.

We're neighbors.

Well, that's interesting.

Did we make it on the show?

Well, we haven't started the testing process yet, but if you are selected,

call you.

Mary,

did you get a call from Wheel of Fortune yet? No. Are you sure? Yes. You're not

hiding anything from me? No.

Did you get a call?

No. Are you sure? Would I lie to you?

Yes.

Why doesn't that phone ring?

Because we were wretched on that interview and we have no business on

or any other.

I don't want God to think I'm overconfident.

Well, I don't care what you say. I am not giving up hope. That phone is going

ring.

What are you doing?

I'm calling for a hair appointment.

I can't go on TV looking like this.

You better put that phone down before I reach out and touch someone.

game show.

This is your life, and it's in jeopardy!

Mom!

What's going on?

Um, we're just doing our aerobics, dear.

Well, Mom, I was on my way up from the pool, and the desk clerk stopped me, and

he gave me a message that's gonna make you so happy.

They're kicking Sandra out of California?

No, it's from Will of Fortune.

They want you both to be on the show.

We're going to be rich. Rich, rich, rich.

That's going to be a little hard.

Why? Well, the rest of the message says that you guys are going to be on a

special neighbor's edition of Will of Fortune.

You two are playing against each other.

What are you doing?

I can't sleep.

So you decide to make life miserable for those of us who can.

I'm sorry, honey, but tomorrow I'm going on national TV.

Suppose I make a fool of myself.

You are not going to make a fool of yourself.

You always solve the puzzles when you play the game at home. Just remember

the same game tomorrow.

You're right.

The only difference is there'll be cameras, floodlights, a director, live

audience, all that kind of stuff.

Lester. What?

Don't soothe me, okay?

Mary, if you think you're under pressure, I'm bidding on a major hotel

morning.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

You're right.

I'm just going on a game show.

You're making a big change in your career.

Your whole family's survival could depend on it.

Wheel of

Fortune!

Over $100 ,000 worth of prizes today.

on the special neighbor version of Wheel of Fortune.

And now, let's meet our host, Pat Sajak.

Thank you. Thanks very much. Thanks, Jack Clark.

Thank you, and welcome again to Wheel of Fortune. Nice to have you all with us.

And now, a big welcome, please, for our hostess. Here is the lovely Vanna White.

Go, Vanna.

Well,

you can see pretty if you like that type.

Well, I've got three very anxious neighbors here from Washington, D .C.,

to spin that wheel, I know, and let's meet them right now. First, Sondra

Hi, Sondra. Hi, Pat.

You have anything you'd like to tell America about yourself?

I don't think that's necessary, Pat.

A picture's worth a thousand words.

Sure is.

Thank you. And now, let's meet Mary Jenkins. Hi, Mary. Hi, Pat.

My name is Mary Jenkins. I'm a housewife, and I'm from Washington, D

camera on? Oh, sure, sure.

Hi, Brenda. Hi, honey. Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Rose, Pearl, Tiffany, Calvin, Tara.

I'm on!

That about covers it.

I guess so. And now let's meet the third member of our group, Rusty Lewis.

Rusty, tell us a little something about yourself.

Hey there, Pat.

I'm also from Washington, D .C., and my hobbies are freshwater fishing,

saltwater fishing, and deep -sea fishing.

And what do you do for a living?

I'm a fisherman.

Sounds like life in the fast lane there, Rusty.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, we're ready to play. $1 ,000, top dollar value on our wheel. Try not to

get bankrupt. If you do, you lose your cash, but not your merchandise, because

once you buy a prize, it's yours to keep. Now, our first category is title,

just before the show, we drew numbers to see who would start the game, and,

Sandra, it's going to be you. Good luck, everybody.

Come on, $1 ,000!

And $750.

Pat. My three favorite things begin with M.

Money, men, and me.

I take an M.

Sorry, there are no M's. Oh, what a shame.

Okay, Mary.

Round and round she spins, and when it stops, Mary wins.

Oh, sorry.

Okay,

Rusty, you're up. All right.

Come on, big money.

And you got the big one, $1 ,000.

Pat, I'll take a Z, as in zebra -striped blowfish.

He wants a Z.

Child, do you know the odds against a Z?

Well, there is one Z up there, yeah.

$1 ,000, Rusty. What do you want to do?

I'd like to solve the puzzle.

He wants to solve the puzzle.

Thank you, Lord.

Now, Rusty, are you sure you don't want to spin a little more and make some more

money? Oh, Pat, do you know how many perch I'd have to catch to earn $1 ,000?

Probably a bunch.

Well, what's the answer here?

The Prisoner of Zenda.

You did it. Unbelievable.

That's right.

All right, round three. Our top dollar value is $5 ,000, and the category this

time is Thing.

And, Rusty, it's your turn to spin first.

You want to leave early and beat the traffic?

$200 in 10 minutes? This guy never loses. I'm calling the IRS on him.

$900.

All right.

Pat, I'd like a B.

I'm sorry, Rusty, no B.

Oh, fish sticks.

He missed it.

All right, Sandra, you're up.

Pay attention, Will. You be good to me, I'll be good to you.

Oh, Sandra, sorry. No J's.

I said please.

Mary, it's your turn.

All right, Will. Come on. It's do or die.

And it's $5 ,000.

I'll take a tea pack.

I could do better than that. There are two teas.

$10 ,000, Mary.

All right.

Put that in your fishing pole and reel it in.

Okay, Mary, you've got an even $20 ,000. Would you like to spin or solve the

puzzle? I want to solve the puzzle, Pat. I know it. I know it. Wait.

Wait. I want to be sure.

Yeah. Win some more, Mary. Win some more money. You just want me to lose.

I'll buy a vowel, Pat. I'll take an A.

There should be three of them.

You're right. There are three A's.

I know. I know.

I want to solve the puzzle, Pat.

It's Santa Fe Trail.

Well, turn around, child. I want the boat. I want the car. I want everything.

Vanna, baby, where are you standing at? I'm sorry, Mary. That's incorrect.

What you talking about, Pat?

It is incorrect.

I want to stay.

Rusty, you're next.

I want to solve the puzzle.

Santa Fe train.

That's it.

Train.

Cheer up, Mom.

Train.

I couldn't believe it. I had all that money in my hands and I lost.

Mom, it's not the worst thing in the world.

I know. I could have been on Let's Make a Deal and lost in a chicken soup.

Dad, I've been trying my best, but I can't make Mom feel any better.

Save your breath, sugar. I tried cheering her up for 3 ,000 miles. I

her to smile until the pilot announced we were over the famous Santa Fe Trail.

Get the train, Brenda.

Hello, Mary. Welcome home.

Oh, hi, Mary. How much money did you win? Yeah, where's the truck with all

prizes? Oh, Rose Pearl, you'll never get that. Oh, I know you want a bundle, but

tell me first, did you get my autographed picture of Philip Michael

No, I didn't, but I was up to $20. Did you see Bill Cosby? Oh, no, I didn't see

Bill Cosby.

I don't know how to tell you this. She didn't win anything.

What? You didn't win.

You always... is winning home.

Unless you've been cheating all this time.

I did not cheat, Rose.

But I was so close.

Why didn't you go to Disneyland?

Oh, yeah. We rode the Matterhorn and Space Mountain. You guys don't even

care about me. I'm devastated.

You're devastated.

I thought I was going to get you old.

I want to apologize for anything I may have done to upset you in Hollywood.

Fine, thank you.

You made me cry.

When? When did I make you cry?

When you blamed me for losing the game, then for the weather, high unemployment,

and the trouble in the Middle East.

Okay, I was a little upset.

I'm sorry I made you cry.

You don't have to be sorry. Maurice felt so bad for me, he's flying me to the

Bahamas.

Wait a minute. Some of our parting gifts from Wheel of Fortune just arrived.

What did you get?

24 cans of wood varnish.

Now we got noodles.

I opened it by mistake.

Want a tray?

Oh, I don't care. Here.

Let me see.

Add six ounces of boiling water and stir.

Give me back my wood varnish. That's too complicated.

Mary's just a game show. We'll come back later, and we'll all have a good cry.

All right.

Hold it, ladies. Don't go.

I want you to see this.

Baby, yesterday was a bad day for both of us. I lost my bid on the contract,

you lost your game show.

But you'll always be a winner to me.

Oh, Lester, my very own trophy.

To the greatest wife and mother in the world.

Mary Jenkins.

And that's the truth.

Oh, thank you, honey.

I love you, baby.

Ah, who needs a dumb old game show?

Oh, Wheel of Fortune is on!