Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no flame away.

No, no.

We'll make it right with help from our friends.

I know we can try.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

I mean, no place, child.

Afternoon, lady.

Hi, Mary.

Oh, here, I picked up the cleaning. Oh, thanks. What's the damage?

Two hanger marks on my finger.

Afternoon, lady. Hi, Sandra.

What's that you got in that little old box there?

Oh, a devastating bottle of new perfume.

Hot Pursuit.

Eighty bucks an ounce, and you're guaranteed to get your man.

Why don't you just shoot him with a tranquilizer dart?

Since when does Sandra Clark need $80 perfume to corral a man?

He's already corraled Mary.

I bought it to keep him that way.

Well,

Sandra, he must be very special.

Oh, he is. He's got everything you'd ever want in a man.

Warmth, strength, character.

CDs, T -bills, and IRAs.

And he's a celebrity. A celebrity? Who is he?

Well, I'll give you a hint. He's highly recognizable, and he plays games on TV

all the time.

You reckon she dating Richard Dawson?

Mary, Mary, Mary.

I understand that your married life is a trifle mundane, so I forgive you for

being jealous of the hunks I date.

Jealous? Your last date had to look at his driver's license to remember where

lived.

Will you two stop it?

Now, come on, Sandra, just tell us, who is this celebrity boyfriend of yours?

Yes, tell us, girl. Okay, ladies, are you ready? Yes!

I, Sandra Clark, am currently dating the one.

And the only Franklin Garwood.

This man is a celebrity in America.

Well, you all probably know him by his nickname.

The Rocket Man.

Rocket Man?

What the heck kind of a name is that?

He's probably an alien.

Mary,

it's a nickname.

Franklin plays basketball for the Baltimore Blues.

Well, Sandra, we're not big basketball fans.

You would be if you saw the cute little shorts they run around in.

Here, just take a look at Frankie.

Ooh, girl!

When is the next game?

I'd slam dunk with him any day.

Hello. How are you? How was school today?

Oh, it was just great. Mrs. Thomas broke her foot, and so I didn't have to take

my math test today. Oh, what a stroke of luck.

Well, who's that in the poster, Miss Clark?

Just one of my gentleman friends.

Your dame's a rocket man?

Boy, are you lucky.

Boy, is he lucky.

Calvin, close your mouth before you catch a fly.

How be seeing y 'all? Well, who is he?

Just one of the biggest stars on the Baltimore Blues.

Franklin the Rocket Man Garwood.

Wow. Don't you have some homework you need to start?

Yes.

See you later.

Brenda.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, honey.

All right.

Mr. Jenkins, did you know Miss Clark is dating the Rocket Man?

No. Yes.

Mary, you know who Sandra's dating?

I'm sure I'll never be able to forget it.

Uh -oh, look at the time. I only have three hours to prepare for our date

tonight. You got a date with Rocket Man tonight?

Hey, I got a great idea. Why don't you two stop by later?

Oh, Lester, we're dining out at Le Petit Chateau.

There's a Chateaubriand out there with my name on it.

Honey, she's busy. She's busy.

Of course, we could drop by afterwards.

All right.

Ooh. See, Calvin, we're lucky, too.

Good. Then it's set. Let's say about 10 o 'clock.

Well, let's say I can hardly wait.

Oh, Calvin, you can have this.

Oh, thanks.

I got the real thing.

One of the guys at work is going to get a kick out of this. The Rocket Man in

our band. All right. Come on, baby.

Mom, can I go down to Tiffany's to watch TV?

What? And miss the Rocket Man?

You don't want to meet him?

Nah, it's oldies but goodies night on MTV.

They're playing Michael Jackson and Prince.

Well, go ahead, but don't be too late. Okay.

Hi,

Daddy. Hey, Beth.

Well, it's about time. My goodness, they'll be here any minute.

Cool it, Mary. I had to walk all the way to France and back to get there.

Champagne.

Our country don't spend this much money on defense.

Mary, we are having guests.

Well, their names better be Sammy and Alto V.

The Rocket Man's a celebrity. He's used to expensive things.

Well, he's dating the right girl.

That's him now. Don't bother to tell him I scored the winning basket against

Jefferson in high school. Don't worry, I won't. Unless you can work it in

casually.

Hey, hey. Hi.

Frankie, this is Lester Jenkins.

Yo.

Oh, and this is Mary.

Yo.

It's a pleasure to meet one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

Hey, you do know your basketball.

Here's a couple of tickets, courtside.

Hey, thank you.

Oh, Mary, I can't get over how beautiful the apartment looks with the new

furniture. Thank you.

You should have seen it before it was nice.

Mary, I hope you don't mind. I gave your number to my agent, publicist, and

lawyer. Oh, no, that's all right. I gave yours to the butcher, the baker, and

the candlestick maker.

Agent, publicist, lawyer. I just love athletics.

See, I thought for a public service announcement, I might have to be reached

here. Oh, you do work for charity organizations?

Hey, if the price is right.

Well, sit down. Sit down.

Say, that's a great game Saturday night, Rocket Man. Oh, you saw it?

Are you kidding? Ten seconds left, the Blues down by one, they give and go to

Jones over to Rocket Man who scores with the alley -oop. Beautiful!

The alley -oop? What's that?

Basketball lingo.

I thought it was snuggle talk you made up just for me.

No, baby, that's the one -on -one.

Saw that picture of you in the newspaper this morning. Oh, yeah, I was visiting

my competition in the hospital.

Oh, that was nice.

It was the least I could do. I mean, I put him there.

Oh. Frankie says hospital visits are good PR.

Yeah, so you drum up some good media coverage, and then, boom, you parlay it

into a light beer commercial.

And what about the poor guy you put in the hospital?

Uh, Mary, well, hey, he's a good guy, but the lead fined me 500 bucks.

I mean, the guy was in an illegal defense all night.

I get paid to win, and I don't take prisoners.

Ooh, he's my little cold man.

He sounds barbaric, all right.

Uh, Mary, maybe you better get that door.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Jenkins. Some of your mail got delivered to us by mistake.

It looks pretty important.

Let's see.

Occupant.

Gotta be an emergency.

Rocket Man.

What a pleasant surprise.

Yo.

Calvin Dobbs, this is the Rocket Man.

It's a pleasure meeting you.

I know what you're going to say.

Oh, no, you don't. Yes, I do. When you get mad, I can read your eyebrows.

Mary, the Rocket Man is a guest in our home.

I know that. He rubs me the wrong way.

I'm on our school's basketball team.

Maybe we can go outside and you can show me some of your moves.

Oh, sorry. I really don't want to get my clothes sweaty right now.

Oh, Frankie, come on.

Calvin's a good kid.

Besides, if you show him your moves, I'll show you mine.

Where'd you say your ball is, son? All right.

Now, be honest, Mary Jenkins.

Isn't he the most charming, interesting hunk you have ever met?

No, I married him.

I know if you don't like him, I hit pay dirt.

Now, Mary, I know he comes on a little strong, but the Rocket Man's just a

character. Take it from me.

He works for charity if the price is right.

Oh, Mary, come on. Frankie does a lot for the needy. I happen to know that he

owns two We Are The World albums.

And did you hear him bragging about putting that fellow in the hospital?

Mary, it's just a game. Rocket Man is the best player in the league.

Well, if you ask me, he sounds like the Terminator.

Your problem is, Mary, you don't understand sports.

Neither do you.

Well, I don't have to.

I'm cute as a button.

Playoffs last year. Four seconds left.

Fake left, I'll go right. That's a defense.

Man.

I put it in and the Blues went by one. Man, you must be able to jump 12 feet

the ground.

Kid, I get up in the air so high I file a flight plan before every game.

Say, if I wanted to make it to the pros, what would I have to do?

Grow.

No, I'm serious.

What's your secret?

Hey, that was a foul.

I didn't hear any whistling.

Look, kid, you want to make it in the pros?

You got to learn to play with the big boys. You got to be aggressive. Take

advantage. Intimidate the refs. You mean cheat a little?

It's not cheating until the referee says it is.

I got it, Rocket Man.

See, basketball is just like life, my man. You got to look out for number one.

Be rough.

Take every advantage.

Two points off the Rocket Man.

Not if I count that five.

Hey, I didn't hear any whistling.

You're a pretty good student, kid.

Hey, Rocket Man, your agent's on the phone, says it's important.

Oh, it's about time.

Mr. Jenkins, have I told you what my dream is?

Yeah, I seem to remember you saying something about you, the Pointer

and a deserted island one time.

Oh, I want to make it to the pros.

Well, that's pretty ambitious, Calvin, but there's nothing wrong with shooting

for the top.

Yeah, Rocket Man gave me some pointers.

Hey, Calvin, that's great. That kind of advice is worth a million.

You think so?

Sure. How could you go wrong with a guy like the Rocket Man?

Oh, my goodness.

What is going on?

I don't know. I ain't seen this many reporters since we thought the president

was coming.

I hope we get our pictures in the paper again.

Excuse us. Excuse me. Excuse me.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know.

You know what? I bet it's that Rocket Man. And that Rocket Woman.

Hey, come on, back off, guys, huh?

How dare you? What gives you the right to intrude on our privacy?

And shoot me from my bed, son.

We got a hot tip from Mary Jenkins that Rocket Man was visiting a gorgeous woman

here. Mary, how could you?

I got to flip.

But what about the annoying press?

I'll handle them.

Okay.

What can I tell you?

Sandra, he's so cute.

If that man were any cuter, he'd be me.

Well, I see your little romance hasn't cooled off any. Cool.

and I are generating enough heat to melt the polar ice cap.

You better get used to him, Mary.

Rocket Man is going to be around.

Hey,

what's all the commotion out here? Oh, they were out here shooting the Rocket

Man. I didn't hear no gunfire.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Grandma. Hi, sweetie.

Yo, yo.

Who you calling a yo -yo?

Hi, Grandma.

Your principal called today.

The principal?

Calvin, that's great. Even the principal's calling to congratulate you.

what? Tell it, Brand.

Well, Calvin scored 25 points in the game today. Nothing could stop him.

had this 6 '5 center who was really tough on Calvin.

So Calvin throws him an elbow, steals the ball, and breaks down the middle and

knocks that center right on his... Well,

I got a lot of homework to do.

Calvin, you were great.

She's right. I was.

straight. And humble, too.

I don't think humble's the right word.

Jackass is the right word.

Calvin, your principal didn't call to congratulate you.

He says that you're developing a real attitude problem at school.

Oh, man, he's the one with the attitude problem if you ask me. Nobody's asking

you.

Just get in here.

You got some explaining to do. Grandma, what you getting on my case for?

You're the one who's always telling me to think about my future.

Well, I am.

I'm working on my career.

Calvin, I want to talk to you.

I'll be right back. I've got to get some practice in before dark.

I don't got some practice hitting your butt.

Come on, Grandma.

I've got to practice if I want to make it big.

Think of how proud you'd be to see your grandson in beer commercials.

Yo, bartender, give me a light.

Calvin! Don't worry.

I'll be home before dinner.

Mom, is Daddy back yet?

They're still at the game.

Still?

Honestly, Mom, I don't see how men can waste away part of a good night watching

a bunch of boring, self -centered show -offs.

I know.

Hey, Mom, it's 9 o 'clock.

Dynasty's on.

Mary?

What?

Have I got something to tell you.

What? That Rocket Man is a pain in the butt. You were right from the start. I

have to admit it. When I'm wrong, I am wrong.

Well, you sure know how to take the joy out of an I told you so.

What happened?

We sat right behind the Blues bench.

Rocket Man chewed out his own teammates, yelled at the fans, argued with the

referees. The language got so bad, I had to cover Calvin's ears.

Well, I sure hope he can't read lips.

He didn't have to. Rocket Man used sign language, too.

I swear.

That guy makes John McEnroe look like a saint.

Sounds like quite an evening.

And it got worse.

After the game, Rocket Man called me Chester.

Well, I sure hope Calvin saw through him like you did.

Calvin? Calvin loved it. He almost got us thrown out of the place.

How? He threw my hat at the referee.

Calvin, we saw that on the stoop.

My hat?

Calvin's attitude.

I was hoping you'd have a talk with him. I tried. I told him he was cocky and

arrogant. What'd he say? He promised me season tickets the minute he made it to

the pros.

You know this is all Sandra's fault, though.

Why can't she date a schoolteacher?

Now, Mary, there's nothing wrong with athletes. Look at Dr.

J, Steve Garvey, Walter Payton.

Rocket Man is just a bad apple.

I guess you're right.

But somebody's got to talk to Calvin about his attitude.

And I'm afraid Rocket Man may be the only person you'll listen to.

Well, I wouldn't be too hard on Sandra, either.

Why not?

Well, let's just say she's not the only lady in Rocket Man's life.

When he left the game, he had company.

What's she look like?

Which one?

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, baby. How was the game?

Uh, okay.

Did Rocket Man score B?

Uh, you could say that.

Yo, Brand, dear.

What are you doing?

Just showing my fans around.

Your fans?

Calvin, I think you need medical attention.

I love a woman with the sense of humor.

I'll take you later.

Lady.

Um, Brenda?

What? Would you be mad at me if I asked Calvin for his autograph?

Bye, Tiffany.

Brenda.

Hi.

Who are those two girls with Calvin?

I don't know, and I don't care.

If he wants to make a fool out of himself, it's fine with me.

Oh, listen, honey, all guys are just the same. They gotta dine out before they

realize that the cooking was just fine at home.

You know what they say. Men, you can't live with them. You can't live with

Well, he thinks he's such a big deal.

Another Rocky man.

What does Rocky man have to do with this?

Calvin looks up to him.

He's acting rude, and he doesn't care who he hurts.

Just like Rocky man.

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Clark.

But if Calvin keeps acting like this, I don't think I want to be around him

anymore. Oh, Brenda, you know that Clark... Look, Clark, I don't feel like

talking about this right now.

What are you doing out here?

I'm waiting for that boyfriend of Sandra's.

I hope he's got a good doctor.

You gonna pick a fight with the Rocket Man?

Uh -huh.

What you gonna do, bite him on the kneecap?

Well, somebody's gotta knock some sense into that buffoon.

He's harming my grandson.

Well, anger is not the way to do it. Now, you gotta approach Rocket Man in a

calm, reasonable manner.

Well, then, uh, you better handle it. Cause, cause I'm so upset I might lose

cool.

And rip his lungs out.

Maybe I better handle it.

Uh -oh.

Here comes Rocket Face now.

Yo. Rocket Man.

I mean, Franklin. May I have a word with you?

Sure. About what?

Can you take constructive criticism?

Sure. You're a real jerk. Tell him, Mary.

What?

No offense intended. Then what was intended?

Well, what Pearl is trying to say... Calvin's acting like a horse is behind,

just like you.

Uh, Pearl. Huh?

Don't help me, okay?

Okay.

What Pearl is trying to say is that you are a bad role model for Calvin.

I mean, you have to be responsible for the kids who idolize you. Hey, hey, I'm

the Rocket Man, not Mr.

Rogers.

Don't you care that Calvin wants to be just like you? And what's exactly wrong

with being like me?

I'll start with A through M.

Mary, you take N through Z.

Well, now you've got a great... Frankie, I want to talk to you. You are a bad

influence on Calvin, and probably on other kids, too. Hey, none of my ladies

give me lip.

Well, that's okay, because I'm not one of your ladies.

Go for the throat, honey.

Hey, brought your man.

Later, kid.

Now, listen, Sandra, I've been whining and dining you first class all the way,

so you better start acting grateful, and I mean now.

What do you want me to do, crawl?

Rocky Man, check it out. I got my picture in the school paper. I said

kid.

Now, hey, I've been busting my tail giving pointers to some stupid kid as a

favor to you, and now you all over my case about it, and I don't want to hear

more of your gripes.

And if you do? Then sayonara, babe.

And what do you have to say to that?

You listen, hot shot.

You may be outstanding on the court, and you may be outstanding to your fans,

but as far as this woman is concerned, you are outstanding in the cold.

Yo, Sandra, baby. About that yo.

You know what you can do with it.

I believe he said those things.

Yeah, it was quite a performance.

You really want to be like him?

I've been acting like that?

Well, maybe not that bad.

But you're off to a good start.

I'm sorry, Grandma.

I acted so stupid.

Is there any way I can make it up to you?

Mm -hmm. Go in there and catch up with your homework.

You got it.

Uh, but there's something I got to say to Brynn first.

Go ahead.

Thanks.

Well, Miss Sandra, that was really something.

Yes, thank you, honey.

No big deal.

Oh, yes, it was.

Admit it, you did that to be nice. Deep down, Sandra Clark is a warm, loving

human being.

Mary, please.

Come on, you know you did that for Calvin.

Kind of.

Plus, I found out he wasn't doing all his scoring on the court.

Well, evidently, he didn't know who he was messing with.

Hey, I still got some champagne left. Why don't you come on upstairs?

You.

You want some, Pearl?

Yo.