Original subtitles

They have no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no fame or weight. No, no. Pulling together, we'll make it

right. We've come from our friends and... No, we can't die.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like... Fair of believing.

There ain't no place like... Fair of believing.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Girl, did you find that recipe yet? I can't wait to make that cake. I know my

church crew's gonna love it.

I have looked everywhere.

I must have thrown it out accidentally.

Oh, Mary.

That banana molasses cake?

Oh, that would have knocked those ladies' socks off.

You know.

Wait a minute. There's one other place.

Here it is.

You wrote it on an apron?

I wore this tonight. I made it.

Let's see.

I'd say maybe four or eight.

I'd say five.

Molasses.

Copper flower.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Jeff. How you doing?

Don't I get a hello?

Oh, hi, Mom.

Hello, Mrs. Jenkins. I just came up here to get my history book at Brenda Bar.

That's fine, Calvin.

And then I'll be going.

That's fine, too, Calvin.

Mom, do you want to go to the phone game next Friday?

Well, no, it's not a big game.

Oh. Well, what about the next big game?

Which one?

Any one.

It depends on which one.

How about a piece of pie?

What kind of pie?

Any kind.

Mom, can Calvin have a piece of pie?

Well, we ain't got no pie, but he can chew on his apron.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Jenkins. I don't want to spoil my appetite.

Calvin.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Jenkins. I'll eat it, Mr. Jenkins.

Your history book.

Oh, yeah, right.

Thank you, Mr. Jenkins.

Bye, everyone.

Give Pearl my love, Calvin. Yes, ma 'am.

He's just being shy.

He's not shy with Janine.

So that's not anything. He'll come around, you'll see.

What's the matter?

Nothing, Mama.

Well, Tiff, let's get on back downstairs.

You don't mind if I take this to you? No, but just don't lose it. Oh, I won't.

Or wash it. Oh, I won't.

Are you sure nothing's wrong?

Nothing.

Is that a nothing -nothing or a something -nothing?

Well, it's something to me, but probably nothing to you.

Brenda, now you know what's important to you is important to me?

It's Calvin.

Oh.

Well, then it's important.

What about Calvin? Do you think he's cute?

is the same Calvin who glues flies together?

Mom, that was six years ago.

Well, um... He's cutish.

Well, do you think he's too cute for me? No, I can put your man at ease there.

So you think we're pretty much right for each other?

Right for each other?

What happened to cute?

I thought Calvin and I were right for each other. But he's acting like he

to go with Janine Lockwood.

Janine Lockwood?

Is that the, um... That's her.

I see.

She's a year older than he is.

Makes me so mad, I'm gonna never speak to him again.

That's the perfect solution.

I guess so.

Okay.

Why don't you tell me what you think?

I don't know.

It's just, why do the boys always go after girls like Janine?

Boys are stupid.

We just have to live with that.

Then I want to be like Janine.

Well, that's simple. We'll just take everything out of your head and put it

your chest.

Honey, if you don't like who you are, how do you expect Calvin to?

He wants an older woman.

Well, you'll be older sooner than you think.

Mom.

Honey, look.

Just be yourself.

You're a wonderful girl.

Now, when the right time comes, the right boy will appreciate it.

Now, doesn't that make sense?

Yeah, I get the same advice.

Be myself.

It's like talking to my guidance counselor.

All you get is words to live by.

There's ones that like to give usable information from an adult.

Yeah, like, you want to kill your cousin? This is the best hammer to use.

My mom says I gotta give it time, but time is the only thing I don't have.

November 14th is my deadline.

Well, what happens then?

Girl, do you live on the planet?

It's the homecoming dance.

Well, you have two months, don't you?

Be serious. If I want to make sure Calvin asks me to the dance... we have

going together by the latest October 20th.

And before you can go together, you have to have a minimum of four dates where

everybody else can see you.

It's us until September.

Well, can't you just go with someone else?

Tiffany Holloway.

Calvin's the man for me.

Oh.

Well,

what if he wants to go study with Janine Lockwood?

Let's just not even talk about it.

He's always mooning around after her.

That's because she walks like she's double -jointed.

Hey, here comes Miss Clark. We can ask her what to do. She knows about all that

stuff.

Look at the way she walks.

Hello, girls.

Holding down the stoop?

Yes, ma 'am.

You look gorgeous.

Oh, why, thank you, Tiffany. I just came from my makeover. A private

consultation with Mr. Maurice himself.

He's just one of the nation's top cosmetologists.

He created Madonna's Beauty Mall.

He let me have a sample of this new perfume still being tested in the

laboratory.

Several male hamsters had to be physically restrained.

Um, Miss Clark.

Oh, call me Sandra.

Sandra, I was wondering if you could help me out on some advice about what to

about, um...

Um, man problems.

You having problems with the boys already?

Well, one boy.

One's fine. You want to start slow.

So, what is it you're trying to do with this boy? Love him or lose him?

Ooh, the advice differs considerably.

The first of the two, I guess.

You guess?

Char, you sound a little fuzzy on the subject.

Hasn't your mother told you all about this?

She's married, so she doesn't have much to do with men anymore.

So Brenda wanted to talk to you.

Get some advice from a woman still on the active list. So you're trying to

this boy's interest, huh?

Well, let's see what we have to work with. Stand up.

Stand around.

Refining.

But I didn't make the call.

I'd remember talking an hour to Hawaii.

Do I sound like I have relatives in Hawaii?

Do I sound like I'm going to pay for this call?

You do that.

You call those people and ask them if they know me. Because if they do, I know

who will be dropping in on this Christmas.

Are you coming or going?

Mom, are you ready? Maybe you better tell me for what.

There's a new me, Mom.

Are you ready for the new me?

Yes, Brenda.

What did you do to yourself?

It's my new look.

Uh -uh.

That's your old look. And you better get it off so fast that I forget you had it

on.

And what did you put that perfume on with? A spray gun?

Oh, my, Mr.

Stiles. A lot of girls in school look this way.

Well, you're not going to look that way.

Did you do all this by yourself?

Well, signs you got.

Miss Clark got me started.

Oh, she did, huh?

And where did you get those clothes?

They're my friend Rhonda's. Mine are at Tiffany's. Well, just march right back

down to Tiffany's and get them. And while you're down there, sit down and

good long look at yourself in the mirror.

I know why you don't like it.

Because Calvin is going to like it. And that makes you mad because you don't

like Calvin and you'd do anything to keep us from being together.

Now, Brenda, listen to me. Well, we are going to be together.

And this is how I'm going to look from now on.

Child, come back here.

I'm not a child.

I'm almost a woman.

Well, woman, come back here.

Yes? Don't walk away when I'm talking to you, okay?

Now go downstairs and do what I told you. And I don't want to hear another

Is that clear?

Yes, ma 'am.

Mary, what... Yes?

That was Brenda.

With the hair and the eyes and the lips and all that perfume.

Oh, girl, I thought she was the Avon lady.

Avon ladies just sell the stuff they don't swim in it.

Well, what happened?

Oh, Brenda's afraid Calvin's looking at another girl.

I told her to just be herself and when the right time comes, things would work

out. Well, that's what I would have said. Really? Yeah.

Well, you would have been wrong. Oh.

Because Brenda went straight up to see Maxine Factor.

Who?

Oh, Donna.

Well, what are you going to do?

Oh, I don't know.

Right now, Brenda isn't listening to me. She thinks I hate Calvin.

Well, you do, don't you?

Of course not.

He just plucks my nerves sometimes.

Well, what are you going to do about Brenda?

Oh, Brenda's smart.

She'll come to her senses.

Then she'll look in the mirror, scream, and wash her face.

I must say, you're taking this pretty well.

Thank you.

Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to have a talk with Sandra.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Now, now, patience.

Patience is a virtue.

We're talking about Sandra.

Virtue ain't got nothing to do with it.

Well, she meant well. How?

How did she mean well? Uh, she was just trying to help. The only way she knew

how. Don't worry. It's going to be painless.

I'm going to puncture her waterbed so she'll drown in her sleep.

Now, Mary.

You're in no condition to talk to Sandra now. You need to just cool off.

Okay?

We'll do the laundry.

Okay?

All right.

We'll do the laundry. Okay.

We'll do the laundry.

Let's go.

I'm going to let you ask that woman, Mary. No way.

Why are you worried about Sandra? She's got Blue Cross.

You just do your laundry.

Give her some time.

And then you can talk to Sandra in a rational way. I am perfectly rational.

See?

How am I doing?

Great. Now, keep going.

Seems you always have something on spin.

Well, Sandra, look at you.

Do you like it?

I surely do.

What do you think, Mary?

It's definitely you.

I'm glad you like it.

Sandra, I understand you had a little chat with my daughter today.

Yeah. She did ask me for some advice, and I was happy to give her the benefit

my expertise.

Did it ever occur to you that that was my job?

Mary, the girl had a man problem.

Well, of course she couldn't come to you.

You're going to stay rational.

I am perfectly rational, Rose.

Now, I understand that it's quite possible that you meant well. Oh, no

thank me, Mary.

But in the future, I would appreciate it if you would not meddle in my family

affairs. Hey, she came to me.

I merely brought out her natural attribute.

It was easy, since you didn't inherit yours.

Now... Be cool, Rose.

Is there anything else you'd like to say while we're having this...

perfectly rational conversation?

Yeah. Are you trying to keep your daughter in the stone age?

Why, when I showed her eye shadow, she didn't know the difference between

magenta and plum.

But, of course, you do because you put them all on at once.

I will thank you in the future to leave my daughter's makeup problems to me.

Okay, that's it. Let's go. Now, look, Mary.

I was trying to...

If I want my daughter to look like you, I will send her to clown school.

And if I want her to be like you, I will leave her there.

I understand what your problem is, Mary.

You can't help but feel inadequate, so you're lashing out.

But you can't get under my skin.

I guess not. With all that makeup, I'd need a chisel.

Grandma, this is for school.

Your teacher wants us to close our eyes and feel the world. You got 15 minutes

to feel the world.

Then if you're not in here, you're going to feel my hand against your butt.

Oh, a fire engine.

I bet it's red.

Calvin. Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, isn't it?

Yes, and I brought the firing squad with me.

Last cigarette?

What?

Last cigarette? I don't smoke.

Oh, the blindfold.

How's it going, Mrs. Jenkins? Calvin, have you seen Brenda?

I haven't seen anybody.

Where is that child? I hope she gets home before Lester.

I can't believe she went out on the street looking like that. Looking like

Never mind.

The complexor. Uh -oh. Hi, Pearl. Hi, Lester.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, Lester. How you doing, Mr. Jenkins?

Hi, Calvin.

I'm going up and taking Cheryl. What's for dinner?

Trouble. Oh, shoot. I had that for lunch.

Brenda.

Brenda, where have you been? I thought I told you to get out of those clothes.

Nobody was home and I had to go find Tiffany.

Brenda, is that you?

Yes, Daddy.

What did you do to yourself? Have you been out on the street looking like

Mary, why'd you let her go out like that?

I didn't. Well, the boy at the drugstore said she looked sexy.

Oh, I've got to see this.

No, you don't. You're not getting any ideas.

Daddy, please let him see.

Go upstairs now.

Well, yes, sir.

Brenda! But, Daddy... Now! Just do it!

Wow.

Really blew up, didn't it?

Well, it's just when I saw her standing there looking like... Like...

Yeah, well, how long does it last?

Until the next phase.

Well, you better go on up and talk to her. She's mad at me.

Oh, no.

She's mad at me, too.

She thinks I don't like Calvin.

Well, you don't, do you?

Of course I do.

In my way, I just can't picture him as our son -in -law.

What? Well, that's what this is really about.

She wants to go steady with Calvin.

Average.

You're right. I better go talk to him.

Mary, what did your father do when you did something he didn't like?

Nothing. Just folded his arms and said, go to your room.

I got to do a lot more than that.

You'll do fine, honey.

Brenda? Sugar.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Don't cry. Come on over here. Let me dry those tears.

Daddy! I'm sorry.

Just when I left this morning, you were 14, and now you look 24.

I have to grow up sometime.

Yeah, but so fast?

Couldn't you kind of ease into it?

Say maybe a year at a time?

Not if I want Calvin.

Daddy, I'm at war with Janine Lockwood.

Who? The girl at school.

She's a lot older.

17.

She has that sophisticated look.

You know, experience.

Oh, and she always has the boys hanging around her.

Calvin's one of them.

So now you think you look experienced?

Don't you?

Yeah, if I was 16, I'd ask y 'all.

You would?

Yeah, we were always after the older, experienced girls, but back then we

them fast.

Do I look fast?

You sure do.

Great! Thank you!

No, no, no, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. The fast girls were the ones who

did... I mean, they were the ones who weren't... Oh, Virgins.

That's right.

Uh, by the way, uh... Daddy, I'm only 14, really.

Yeah, I know, but the way you look says you're... It does.

Well, all I wanted to do was peak Calvin's interest.

Well, that's one way to do it.

That sort of thing always got our attention.

Is that what you liked about Mama?

No, your mother was no Janine Lockwood.

She wasn't fast? No.

She was slow?

No.

What was she then?

The point is, when I met your mother, I was finished chasing Janine Lockwoods. I

was ready to settle down.

So I looked for someone who was sweet and smart and pretty.

Someone I wanted to marry.

That was your mother.

And you're just like her.

Hope Calvin doesn't think so.

He's afraid of Mama.

She hates him. No, your mother likes Calvin.

In her way.

She just doesn't want you going steady with any one boy.

Do you like Calvin?

Yeah, but I have to agree with your mother.

We both love you very much, and we don't want you going steady and getting

married and having kids before you find out what life is all about.

And you know what else I think?

What? I think as long as you keep wearing that makeup, Calvin may as well

wearing his blindfold, because he's never going to be able to see the real

Brenda anyway.

Does that mean I can't wear any more makeup?

No, of course not.

Well, how much?

I don't know.

Enough, but not too much.

You mean not fast and not slow?

Somewhere in there.

Like Mama.

I'll ask her.

So how'd I do?

You did fine.

Just one thing.

About those Janine Lockwoods.

Just how much running did you do?

Come on, baby, that was a long time ago.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how come you've never mentioned it before?

Are you serious?

You're really serious?

Go to your room.

Are you coming with me? You better believe it