Original subtitles

They have no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no same old way. No, no. Moving together, we'll make it

right. With help from our friends.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like, there ain't no place like, there

ain't no place like, there's no place like home.

I mean no place child.

Hey, Rose.

Hey, what's happening?

Girl, this is my favorite part of the day. Got Brenda off to school, Lester

to work, and now I can have a moment's peace.

I know what you mean.

Oh.

Girl, what is it?

I had an awful scare.

I woke up, and my clock radio was playing harp music.

I'm going to my high school reunion in a couple of days, and I want to show up

alive.

Oh, Pearl, there's nobody more alive than you, child.

Has Sandra come sashaying off to work yet?

In a minute, you're going to hear how she's going off to pursue her career in

the business world. As we sit here wasting our lives away as housewives.

Check out the routine.

Good morning, Pearl.

Good morning, Vince.

Morning, Mary.

Childish, isn't he? Oh, Mary.

You know, it's none of my business, but I bet if you were nicer to her, she'd be

nicer to you.

There is that danger.

Well, here she comes.

Good morning, Pearl.

Good morning, Rose.

Good morning, Mary.

Are you sick, child?

No. I just thought I'd take a day off.

I need to relax.

Nothing to do upstairs.

Well, why don't you join us? I thought you'd never ask.

Sandra is here.

Should we kneel?

Mary.

Well, here we are.

What do we girls do today?

We? Well, right now we're having our coffee break.

Oh. Well, good. If that's the routine.

Okay. What's the latest dirt?

Who do you usually talk about?

I knew you wouldn't...

Sandra, it's going to be all right.

I lost my job.

No, thank you, Mary. It's nice of you to comfort me.

When you don't like me.

I wouldn't say that.

I, um, like you.

In fact, if there's anything I can do to help.

Like what?

Well, dinner tonight.

Oh, thank you. What do you have?

Well, I hadn't thought about it. Could it be Oysters Rockefeller?

If we have any left.

I should have known better.

She's a half an hour late.

It's only 25 minutes, Mom.

Well, she's still late, Brenda. And your father is starving.

I had a donut.

You had a donut before dinner?

You know, that eggplant you're cooking in there really smells good.

It's not eggplant, dear. It's ratatouille proven salt.

And remember to call it that.

Ratatouille probing song.

I get it. You're showing off for Sandra.

I am not showing off.

It's just eggplant with a pedigree.

Well, I feel sorry about Miss Clark losing her job.

Oh, finally.

This is my outfit I'm going to wear to the school reunion.

How do you like it?

It's fine.

Not too preppy?

No, it's fine.

I hope Edward is there.

He always did have the hots for me.

Well, excuse me. I've got to show Rose my new outfit.

Ross!

Pearl is an inspiration.

Where is this woman?

Hello, Mary.

Brenda, Lester.

I hope I'm not too early. Believe me, you're not. Oh, good.

It's so gauche to be early. I just hate gauche. Don't you?

Gauche is fine when it's on time.

Oh, Mary, you look ravishing.

I bet that rascal husband of yours will be busy tonight.

It's hard to believe you and Mary are anywhere near old enough to have such a

grown -up daughter.

Well, thank you.

For you, Mary.

Just a little naive domestic burgundy.

I hope you're serving something red.

I'll put ketchup on it.

That's funny. I love a sense of humor.

Oh, look at this table. It's beautiful.

Well, I guess we better get dinner out. Why don't you come in the kitchen with

me? Okay, we'll talk girl talk. I've never done that before.

So, any new leads on her job?

Not yet.

Mary, I don't know what to do with myself.

I really miss working.

Must be difficult for you.

I bet you were fired for no good reason, too.

No.

There was a reason.

You're dying to know why I was fired, aren't you?

Is the Pope Polish?

Well, I must say I saw it coming when the vice president started bringing me

flowers. Ah, vice president troubles, huh? Trouble with his wife.

Huh? Oh, no, it wasn't on her about it. She thought there was.

Well, that's not fair.

Unless, of course, you... No, I didn't encourage him.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me.

Well, that's a shame.

You shouldn't have to pay for something you didn't do.

Oh, hand me that potholder, will you?

I don't know why I have so much trouble with wives.

I do.

Well, you're very feminine, and some women are very insecure.

Why should they be insecure? They have their husbands. And they want to keep

them.

Well, let's face it, Sandra.

A woman who acts and walks the way you do can be a real threat.

Well, you do flaunt.

But that's me. Some people paint, some people sew.

I flaunt.

Besides, all women do it.

But not as good as you do.

Mary, I don't want anybody's husband. I just want a job.

I know what you mean. I wish I could help you.

Mary, there's a man and a poor little child in there starving to death.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. We were talking.

Be there in a minute. Ought to be a law against two women in the kitchen.

Drop that donut.

Oh, honey, you deal with a lot of businesses. Do you know one that might

receptionist? Par excellence?

Well, let me think about it. I have references.

Okay.

Oh, Mary, that was very nice of you. Oh, you better get this food out before he

starts making wounded bear noises.

Hey, I just remembered something.

Our main office needs a receptionist. Really?

Yeah, and it's a great place to work.

I'll call him tomorrow.

Let me carry that for you. Oh, thank you.

Good morning, Ro.

Hey, Pearl, what are you doing back so early?

Well, I couldn't sleep, so I caught an early bus.

Well, how was your high school reunion?

Boring.

The women were too wise.

around here.

Sandra got a job down at Lester's company, and today is her first day on

job. Mary let him hire her?

It was practically her idea?

Duh.

Pearl, Lester doesn't have a roving eye. It's not Lester I'm worried about.

Morning, ladies. Morning, Lester.

Oh, Pearl.

Morning. So how was the reunion?

Well, fine, if you like breakdancing.

Breakdancing? At your reunion?

Uh -huh.

we dance. Something broke.

Well, babe, I gotta go.

Where you gonna be today?

Project over at the airport.

Oh, Lester.

I'm glad you're still here.

What's the best way to get to the office? Number 44 bus then transfer to

No, it's best to take the number 42 over to N Street then walk to... Walk?

Well, you could transfer to the number 12 and then... Hey, why don't I just

you off down there? I have to go by the main office today anyway.

Would you? You don't mind, do you?

Of course not. Oh.

Well, we better get going.

Bye, dear. See you.

Oh, I love trucks.

They're so masculine.

Thank you.

Afternoon, Mary.

Thought we'd drop in to see if you had any new recipes.

Let's get on to the nitty -gritty.

How long do you intend to put up with this Lester -Sandra thing?

I'm going to put up until you two shut up.

There is no Lester -Sondra thing.

Now, I know it's dull around here and y 'all need something juicy to talk about,

but this is not it.

Aren't you just a little bit jealous?

Not a bit.

Do you believe that? Not a bit.

She works in the office. He works in the field. They never even see each other.

Drove her to work Tuesday. That was Wednesday.

Brought her home Wednesday already.

Well, Miss Snoopy, have you noticed that he hasn't driven her since?

It's only Thursday.

Hey, babe.

Hi, ladies.

Hi. Hi, honey.

How was your day? Oh, same old stuff.

Lester, what do you want these?

Oh, thank you. Anyplace handy.

Don't look like the same old stuff to me.

I have to review all this junk. We may be involved in a lawsuit on the Burnside

building. Oh, really?

Mr. Nathan was livid about it.

Almost popped his ulcer when they told him.

Filled his milk all over his pants.

Sandra poured his big glass of water on him.

Well, I had to do something. He was turning sour.

Well, I got a date with a bubble bath.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Mary, wasn't it wonderful about the baby?

Baby? What baby?

Louise, the accountant, had a baby, didn't I tell you?

No. Guess I forgot.

Nothing unusual about it. Baby girl, 12 pounds, 8 ounces.

12 pounds!

Honda makes a car smaller than that.

Sir, I don't appreciate... Don't you two ladies have to get dinner?

No.

Well, maybe we should run along.

Lester has had a hard day.

He's gonna have a harder night.

Bye, Mary.

Bye, y 'all.

Oh, bye, ladies.

Now, Mary, before you go getting all bent out of shape, I'm sorry I forgot

the baby. It's not just the baby. She knows more about your days than I do.

But you know more about my nights.

Well, she worked there.

Well, that makes sense, I guess.

I don't have to like it.

Instead of worrying about all that, how about giving me a real kiss? I just got

home from work.

Well, that's a good idea.

See you tomorrow.

Say what?

She said something about a bubble bath and see you tomorrow.

You gonna be with her again?

In a bubble bath? I wouldn't dare.

That's terrible.

But I am gonna be working in the office for the next few days, having meetings.

Well, why didn't you tell me that? Probably because I just got home.

You know what?

You're jealous.

I am not.

Yes, you are.

That's cute.

Come on, baby. You asked me to help her get a job. She's a good worker, and

that's all I care about. And you know that.

Well, I guess I'm being silly. That's right.

Maybe she'll get caught in a snowstorm and freeze her wiggle off.

Is that one of them new exercise programs?

Just trying to make my mind up about something.

Well, could you please hurry it up? I'm not getting any younger.

I'm just trying to decide whether to drop in and take Lester to lunch.

Oh, checking up on him, huh?

No.

Lester has never given me any reason to check up on him. And I'm not going to

start now.

Sit right there, child.

Lester is not the one to worry about. It's Sandra.

I know.

Because when I was young, I was hot stuff, too.

You saw me with my pom -pom.

I don't know what Sandra's doing, but she is not trying to steal Lester.

Honey, it happens.

I know.

I had to look, the move, the same wiggle like Sandra until I threw my back out.

Mary, listen to me.

Lester doesn't even know what's happening to him. Pearl, you're

Emma, what time does he get home from work?

5 .30.

What time does he go to bed?

About 10 .30.

So, you've got five hours, she's got eight.

You know how to treat a woman.

What a lovely robe.

Yeah.

Mary will love it.

Well, every once in a while, I get the message that it's flower time.

I'll put a little water for you. Good idea. I'll be in the meeting. Okay.

Oh, well, hello, Mary.

Hi.

Um, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by and take Lester to

lunch. Well, he's in a meeting. It shouldn't be too long.

Do you wish to wait?

How do you like it here?

It's nice.

I don't get down here too often.

Anything new and exciting?

Just me.

Stumer and Nathan Construction.

Oh, yes, Mr. Stumer.

Now, no calls, Mr. Stumer.

Well, if you insist.

Freddy.

I'll tell Lester you're here.

Mr. Nathan, could you...

What? Oh, yes, I'll bring them right in.

I don't know how they ever got along without me.

Can't imagine.

So what did thatster say?

He said, file this.

Oh, I forgot to tell him about you. I'll bring him.

Hi, Sandra.

Oh, hi, Tommy.

You can go right in. They're expecting you. You are looking...

sexy as ever today.

Well, it's the least I can do with all you handsome men around.

Oh,

I forgot all about you again, didn't I?

Yes.

Oh, yes, Lester, the box is here.

But it's heavy.

Well, I could drag it in.

Could you?

Oh, by the way, Lester, you're...

He hung up.

Ah, this is one of those days.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lester. I couldn't lift it.

Don't apologize, Sandra. Believe me, I'm glad Alice quit.

Besides, you're much better looking.

Mary's here. Where? On the other side of the box.

Hi, Mary.

Hi.

Came to take you to lunch, unless you're too busy with Miss Better Looking.

Look, Mary, stop that. That was just office talking. You know, it didn't mean

anything. Now, about lunch. You don't think I'm better looking than Alice? Oh,

he does.

He said so. I heard him. Can we just let it go?

What about me? Am I better looking than Alice?

Mr. Nathan is better looking than Alice.

I'm trying to tell you about lunch.

Where do you want to go?

I can't go. We have to work.

We? Is that we as in you and Miss Wiggle?

Mary, come on. Look, I got you a rose.

Here.

You're giving me her rose?

I got the rose for you.

It was on her desk.

She put it in water for me. Mary, the rose is for you.

She was sniffing my rose.

That does it. I'm not going through this again.

You're just as bad as all those other wives.

I try to be my natural loving self, and this always happens.

Well, if you want to keep an eye on your man, well, then you take the job.

I quit.

Well, are you satisfied? She was doing a great job.

Sandra.

Who's this?

What happened to the sexy one?

You are not leaving.

Pearl, will you stop playing games? I have to get to the market.

And I don't want to talk to Sandra.

Stay where you are.

Don't let me have to get rough with you.

Look, Pearl.

It is not my fault that she quit.

Besides, she don't want to talk to me anyway.

Who is it?

Sandra. I told you.

Now you stay here and you talk to Mary.

And don't come out until you make up.

She hurt my neck.

Sandra, I think I got whiplash.

Sandra, I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

Really sorry.

Sandra, sit down.

I can't believe I acted like a jealous wife.

I'm used to it. It's my persona.

Look, brain, sensuality.

It's all a curse.

It must be.

You, on the other hand, have been blessed.

With no look, brains, or sensuality?

I didn't mean it that way.

Sandra, look.

You don't have to work at making men like you. They just do.

I know.

But you could try working at making women like you.

Why?

Well, it could make life easier and longer.

Oh, I suppose.

I don't know why you worry about Lester anyway.

In all the years I've known him, he's never even winked at me.

You sure he never studied to be a minister?

Sandra, I'm sorry you quit your job because of me.

In fact, I wish you'd take it back.

Why should I?

Because they like you.

Lester said they're very impressed with your work.

No more worries about me and Lester?

None.

And if I'm wrong, I'll just kill you.

Well, I do like it there.

And they do have some good fringe benefits.

Like that cute man in accounting.

Harvey Allen?

Uh -huh.

He's a friend of Lester's.

Why don't you and Lester come up to my place for dinner tomorrow night?

Okay. What should I bring?

Harvey.

And then we get sick and canceled, and Harvey shows up alone.

You know, Mary, I think you and I are finally beginning to understand each

other.