Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no same old way. No, no. Pulling together, we'll make it

right. With help from our friends, I know we can fly. But there's no place

home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like home. There ain't no place like home.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Oh, what a beautiful night.

I bet Donna don't think so.

I know she don't. What you mean?

Charles ran out on her. Charles and Donna? Mm -hmm. Charles and Donna down

street?

He did. Yes, he did.

Well, what happened?

He ran off with one of those young girls in his office.

Always a young girl.

Oh, that's a shame.

Diana was so crazy about Charles.

I know she devastated him. Well, it's her own fault.

What'd she do, drive him to the airport?

No. But in my day, women knew how to hold on to their husbands.

Well, how did you hold on to yours, Pearl?

Which one?

Which one?

How many did you have?

Three.

Three's always been my lucky number.

You've been married three times, Pearl?

Uh -huh.

Don't seem like you did too much holding on yourself.

Well, after the first one, I learned the danger sign.

What danger sign?

Well, number one, they forget to say I love you.

Number two, the first thing they say when they come home is what's for

Number three, they forget what you look like.

And number four, they start moving and breathing all together.

Girl, that's the worst thing.

Well, I don't know how you come up with all this stuff.

Well, it's a fact. If a woman don't heed the sign, she's going to lose the man.

Well, why is it always the woman's fault?

I know what you mean, Rose.

It ain't the woman's fault because the man runs off.

What do you mean, I know what you mean?

You know you ain't got nothing to worry about unless they ain't going nowhere,

girl. I know it.

That's what Donna thought about y 'all.

Well, it's the truth.

If a woman don't hold on to her man, somebody else will.

Mrs. Jenkins?

Yes, Tiffany.

It's good they make you through that.

Why would you want to do it if nobody's watching you?

It's good for you, honey.

Are you sure?

Because you look like you're going to die.

We're going, Mom.

Okay.

Now be careful crossing the street.

And you be careful touching your toes.

Okay.

Move it, move it, move it, move it, move it.

You after my life insurance, aren't you?

I couldn't resist, baby.

I'm just doing this for you. I'm trying to look nice for you. Well, don't overdo

it. You're no spring chicken.

close to me. Ain't nothing. Neither one of us is getting any younger. I gotta

go. I'll see you tonight.

Bye.

Lester. Yeah.

Do you love me?

I just kissed you, didn't I?

It wasn't much of a kiss.

Mary, it's early in the morning. My lips aren't awake yet.

Don't answer the question.

Oh, you know I do. What brought this up all of a sudden?

It's not all of a sudden. I think about it a lot.

Look, I'm going to be late, and they don't take being in love with your wife

an excuse.

Bye.

Lester!

Lester!

Lester, you still haven't answered me.

Baby, we've been married for 23 years. You think I've been faking it all this

time?

I need to be reassured.

You need to eat, too.

So I've got to go to work. Now, bye.

Good morning, Rose.

How are you feeling this morning?

Dumb.

I beg your pardon? I guess when a man is rushing off to work, it's not a good

time to ask if he loves you.

Oh, but you did.

Yes. And what did he say?

I got to go to work, Mary.

Morning, ladies.

Oh, Sandra.

Off to work?

Yes, another day of meeting the challenge of the business world.

While others meet the challenge of dirty laundry.

What's so challenging about being a receptionist? A lot more than being a

housewife. I put people on hold.

I press intercom buttons. I validate people's parking tickets.

I can do it all. I am today's woman.

Oh, please.

If that's today's woman, I hate to think about tomorrow.

got to help me out.

John's mother is sick. We have to visit her for the weekend, and it's no place

for kids, so could Susie stay with you? Can't she what?

Our regular sitter isn't available, and you know how crazy she is about you. She

just loves it when you visit.

Ooh, that'd be a sign home.

Sounder plan, mother?

Maybe she can put the kid on hold.

Oh, Harriet, I'm busy this weekend.

I have social obligations.

Why can't John go see his sick mother by herself?

Oh, Sandy, you know John.

He gets weak in the knees whenever he sees a sick person.

Yeah, you didn't exactly marry Rambo, did you?

I thought you could do it all.

I can handle it.

I'll do it. Oh, thank you, sis.

I'll bring her over tonight. Bye.

What you all laughing at? Oh, we're happy for you. Now you're really today's

woman.

And if I don't get my act together with Lester, I'm going to be yesterday's

woman.

Oh, Mary, there's no reason for you to feel insecure.

Your marriage is as solid as the rock that you broke.

That's what Dinah thought.

Then some floozer ran off with her piece of the rock.

Wow.

Mom, it's beautiful.

Oh, do you really think so?

Yeah, I know Daddy's going to love it.

Oh, I hope so.

You know, your father is not the most observant man in the world.

Hey, hey, hey, I'm home.

Hi, baby.

How was school today, sugar?

Fine. What's for dinner? I'm starving.

You'll back go out again?

go wash up.

Lester! Oh, I forgot, I forgot.

I love you.

I've been practicing that all day. I've just been walking around saying, I love

you, I love you, I love you.

A couple other guys looked at me real strange.

That's not what I meant.

Well, what then?

My dress.

Oh, that's very nice.

You haven't worn it in a while, have you?

I always liked that dress. Why don't you wear it more often?

I love you.

Hi, Mary. I hope I didn't catch you in the middle of dinner.

Oh, no, we haven't sat down yet. Brenda, honey, put the food on the table. Okay.

Mary!

That's a new dress, isn't it?

Oh, I love that.

You look so elegant.

My sister dropped off little Susie, but she left before I could ask her what to

feed her.

Well, how old is she? Six.

Mary, what do you think she'll like better?

Linguine with clam sauce or assorted sushi?

Well, that depends. Is she Italian or Japanese?

Oh, girl.

Fix her a salad, broil a meat patty, and mash a potato.

Mash a potato?

That sounds so physical, Mary.

Then it ought to be right up your alley.

Sandra, fix us some fresh vegetables and fruit. You got any apples?

I used to eat an apple a day, but I'm dating this doctor now, and I definitely

don't want to keep him away.

Hey, Sandra.

Hey, Lester.

Thanks, Mary.

Oh, and Mary, I do love that new dress.

Don't you, Lester?

Oh, is that a new dress?

Which you didn't notice.

Look, I'm sorry, baby. I'm not some guy here to pick up a gal for a date. I'm a

husband home from a hard day's work. I'm too bleary -eyed to notice every little

thing. Bleary -eyed is right.

Mom, dinner's on the table. Oh, thank you, dear.

You know, Ken always notices what Thelma wears.

Thelma is a large woman. It's hard not to notice.

That's not the point. What I mean is he adores her and he lets her know it.

Yeah, it's sickening.

The food's getting cold.

In a minute, Brenda.

You could be a little more attentive, you know. All right. What do you want me

to do?

Well, you could surprise me with flowers sometimes, besides Mother's Day.

Ken always surprises Thelma.

Remind me to smack Ken next time I see him.

Do you want me to put the food back in the oven?

We'll be there, Brenda.

Would it hurt you to be a little more attentive?

I bet if I died, you wouldn't even miss me.

Now, that's the most foolish thing I've ever heard.

It is? Yeah, because the way you keep hassling me, I'm sure to die first.

Where are you going, Mom?

To my room.

I'm going to change clothes. Why wear a new dress for a man who can't see?

Your mom.

Your wife.

That's all you want me for, unless it's to wash your shorts.

And your shirt.

Oh, Lester, what am I going to do with you?

If that's all you got left of him, I'd forget him.

I don't know what happens to men.

I mean, when it comes to baseball, basketball, and football, they stay

interested. But try asking them to go out and have a ball. Then it's not too

tired, baby.

Just like a TV honey.

I think when a man gets married, something in him dies.

But Mary, you've got a good marriage.

You can't expect the honeymoon to last forever.

Oh? What happened to all those danger signs you were talking about?

I can't expect romance as well as sex, can I? Well, I'd settle for either one.

I found my dirty socks.

Oh!

Where were they? Under my bed. You better go get the sheets. Yes, ma 'am.

Calvin? Yes, Mrs. Jenkins?

I sure hope you appreciate what your grandmother does for you. Oh, yes, ma

And when you get married, I hope you appreciate your wife the same way.

Oh, you mean if I was to marry someone like Bran?

Well, someone like Bran.

Not necessarily Bran.

Maybe not even somebody like Bran.

Oh, forget the whole discussion.

I think I'll go get those cheese, Grandma.

All right.

Oh, Mary, I'll be back. I forgot to take my pie out of the oven.

Papa, I left it. What are you doing home?

Is everything all right?

For you.

You didn't have to.

Oh, yes, I did.

So you just did it because I told you to? I thought you told me to because you

wanted me to.

No, that's not what I meant. Not just the flowers.

I was talking about romance.

Well, the flowers aren't all you know.

Rose is here. I'm gone. No, Rose.

Oh, Rose, wait a minute. Can Brenda spend the night with you and Tiffany?

Oh, of course she can. Good, now you can go.

No, I was just kidding. I came home early so we could go out on the town

tonight. Maybe hit some of the spots we haven't been to in years.

Really? Yeah, that is, if you're not too busy.

Well, I guess I could pitch you in my busy schedule.

Good. I'm going to shower and get ready.

By the way, have I told you how beautiful you look?

He says you look beautiful.

Yeah.

I better go put my makeup on before he changes his mind.

Oh, honey, I can't believe they tore down the Starlight Ballroom.

I'm beginning to believe there's a 7 -Eleven for every family in Washington.

Yeah, it was so pretty.

We sure did a lot of dancing there.

And did you see what they did to our restaurant?

Yeah, how could a place called Big Al's become vegetarian?

Well, there's a lot of vegetarians now.

It's very popular.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It just seems to me if you're going to serve something called a burger, it

to have meat in it.

It did bring back a lot of memories, though, didn't it? Yeah.

You proposed to me and Big Al. Mm -hmm.

We were so alive.

Sure. We ate meat.

Well, anyway, we still have each other, the rest of the evening, and an empty

apartment.

We'd have killed for that when we were kids.

Yeah. Now you're getting the idea.

Um, you want to go to the bedroom?

No, that's not what I mean.

You don't want to go to the bedroom?

Yeah.

Well, can't we take the romantic route?

Okay. We'll be romantic. What do we do?

Well, let's talk.

And I don't mean about jobs and kids.

I mean you and me.

Intimate talk.

Let's look at our honeymoon pictures.

Oh, Mary, do we have to?

Oh, it'll be fine.

At least we know they're still the same.

Here they are.

Oh, you were so handsome.

Well, I guess some things never do change.

Oh, look.

There's the hotel.

Oh, I remember thinking it was the most beautiful place in the world.

That was our first king -size bed.

It was a waste. On our honeymoon, all we needed was one twin.

Well, the complimentary bottle of champagne was nice.

They made up for it in the bill. The place was a rip -off.

Well, I'm glad you had such a nice time.

And the room was freezing.

You know, did they really think we were going to bring our pajamas on our

honeymoon?

Forget the pictures.

What did I do?

Nothing.

I know what. There's no mood in here.

Sit right there.

I'm going to turn off some of these lights.

On second thought, not too many.

There. Isn't that better?

You smell good.

Oh, I know what's missing.

Yeah, you.

music hi sailor

my head

feels like a yo -yo i'm sorry honey i'll be right there i just want everything

to be perfect

I believe this is the spot you wanted.

Why do you guys have lights on?

Why don't you knock before entering?

I live here.

Not tonight, you don't. I just wanted to get my teen magazine talk and show

Tiffany how Michael Jackson's old nose used to look.

It's getting late.

Oh, no, let's just sit down.

Brenda, I am fighting a clock here.

Good night, young lady. And I do mean good night.

But what if there's an emergency?

You come back here tonight, I guarantee you an emergency.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, sugar.

Now what?

I just came to ask you... What's going on in here?

Nothing.

Sandra, we are trying to have a romantic evening.

Who are you kidding? You're married.

And you're not. What is it you want?

My niece won't go to sleep, Mary. She too young for a hot toddy, huh?

Sandra, read her a story. Good night.

Let's pick up where we left off.

And where was that?

I'll refresh your memory.

Wow. You sure haven't lost your touch.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

I wonder what happened to the lights.

Who cares?

It's probably just a fuse.

The whole street is out.

Oh, great. What's next, a hurricane?

Don't worry, I like the camera.

Do you think God is trying to tell us there is no romance after marriage?

I think you're making too much out of the whole thing.

That's because you're a man.

There's a full moon tonight.

No, there isn't.

Mary, I'm trying.

Oh.

What's so funny?

I was just thinking about when we were teenagers.

I brought you home late one night.

And I tried to sneak in without waking up my folks. Yeah.

Said you didn't want to turn on the light, you're going to feel your way up

stairs.

Well, I would have made it if you hadn't knocked over Mama's lamp.

I thought I was going to die laughing.

When my daddy came downstairs, I thought you were going to die, period.

It was really a full moon that night.

How do you remember?

Oh, I remember more than you give me credit for.

Maybe.

Someone's unhappy.

Sandra's niece.

You know, we've been pretty lucky with Brenda. She never gave us a moment's

trouble when she was little.

She gave us enough when she was born.

Yeah, I wasn't sure she was going to make it. That was a rough night.

It wasn't no picnic for me, either.

No, but you came through with flying colors.

That's because you didn't hear the screaming.

Like hell I didn't.

That's right. You were there the whole time, weren't you?

Sure. I couldn't leave you there like that. I mean, they'd have had to drag me

out of that hospital.

Oh, Lester.

You know, there's something I always wanted to ask you.

Better late than never.

Well, after they plucked me down off the ceiling.

I remember looking at you and thinking you'd been crying.

Me? No, I'd just been up all night. It was really hot in that room.

Lester.

All right.

Maybe one tear. A little one.

I just happened to see you smile again.

I was really pretty nervous.

Oh, honey.

Well, the blackout's over.

Well, at least it didn't last all night.

What are you doing?

Oh, it's getting late. We might as well turn in.

What about our romantic evening?

Oh, honey, I was being silly.

I haven't got anything to complain about.

I've got a good life, and you're the most wonderful husband in the world.

Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit? How about the most wonderful

in America?

That, too.

You stay right there.

Now, I know this isn't a starlight ballroom, but did you suppose I could

this there?

Well... Do you think there's a room?

The dance floor looks pretty crowded.

We'll just have to dance close.

You're still the prettiest woman on the floor.

And you're still the best looking man.

Well, as I say, some things never change.

Mary, I know I don't always say it when I should, but I love you.

I've always loved you, and I always will, baby.

Oh, Lester.

Hey, are those tears, I think?

Well, maybe one.

A little one.