Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with the same old way. No, no.

Moving together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly. But there's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

But there ain't no place like that. There ain't no place like that. There

ain't no place like that.

I mean, no place, child.

Whew, what a day.

Don't sit. Why not?

Gotta go to the airport.

Am I leaving town?

No, Lewis is coming.

Lewis? Lewis who? I don't know any Lewis.

My brother, Lewis.

Oh, that Lewis.

Oh, that Lewis.

You know you like Lewis. Everybody likes Lewis.

Everybody don't like Lewis.

Oh, they do, too.

Go get showered and changed.

Ah, that's why the flowers.

See, I thought you were going to greet your hard -working husband with a little

pre -dinner interlude.

You're making a cold shower.

You only got 20 minutes to get to the airport.

20 whole minutes?

Oh, Lester!

You sure are good at putting this stuff down, but not good at picking it up.

So why is Lewis coming for a visit?

Has he still got his job?

Of course he has a job. He always has a job.

He called and said he had some business to take care of, and I asked him to stay

with us.

Okay,

I'll get some of the guys together, and we'll get up a poker game for him. No

poker game. He's got enough men friends.

Aha, so you're matchmaking.

Very attractive. He doesn't need anybody to matchmake. Sure, Mary. Now, what

little lamb are we taking to the slaughter?

Hi!

Brought one of my mean pies for tonight.

And its fleece was white as snow.

I'm gonna go take my shower now.

What was that all about?

Oh, he thinks I'm trying to matchmake.

Well, you are, aren't you?

Yeah, but I ain't gonna admit it.

You know, if it was up to man... Adam would have married the apple.

You know, Mary, I don't usually go out on blind dates.

This ain't no blind date. This is my brother, Louis.

Look, just think of it as the lottery, and you've got the winning ticket. All

right.

Now, I'm not trying to force anything, Rose. Oh, I know that. I know that.

It's just that I think you two should meet.

Two nice, intelligent, personable, good -looking people.

Sure would have some pretty kids. Oh, Mary!

For heaven's sakes, we haven't even shook hands yet.

Oh, I know I'm being obvious.

It's just that I think Louis is so wonderful.

And, well, you know what I think about you.

I know.

You know, it's really nice you're getting us together.

You know, we always looking. Well, me and R2.

At our age, they just ain't looking at us.

Well, you know, times are changing.

Women don't absolutely have to have a man anymore.

We can live alone and like it. Build a self -sufficient, active, involved

lifestyle. That's a bunch of stuff. You can say that.

Oh, Mary, do you think he'll really like me? Oh, I hope so.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

What? It's my elbows.

Oh, they get so dry.

That's not your elbows.

My dress?

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have worn blue.

But, Mary, you did tell him the truth about me.

I'm a 28 -year -old woman with a 10 -year -old daughter. Mm -hmm, and this

1978. Close enough.

Mom! I'm home!

Mom!

I'm home.

I know that, dear. The whole building knows that.

Hi, Brenda.

Hi.

Lester's child.

Mom, can I go to the store?

Yeah, I need some candles for the table. Get the money out of my purse.

Candles? All right.

Wait till you meet Uncle Lewis.

He's the greatest.

Maybe I will change into a long -sleeved dress.

Why? I don't want my elbows hanging out.

Rose, there's nothing wrong with your elbows.

But long sleeves couldn't hurt.

Uncle Louie?

Mom's brother.

Is this the one she's always bragging about?

Yeah, he's flying in from California, first class.

First class?

What's he look like?

He's fine.

up since you were last here. It's about six sizes too small.

No, it's not. It's perfect.

Thank you, Uncle Lewis. I've been wanting a one -piece suit. One piece?

there aren't any more pieces?

Mom, look what Uncle Lewis brought me. How cute. A slingshot.

It's a bathing suit.

Which she is going to wear over her own dead body.

What kind of man would bring my daughter a bathing suit like that?

Pour the wine, dear.

We'll burn it later.

Uncle Lewis, do you ever see any movie stars in Hollywood?

Oh, yeah.

I see them at parties all the time.

But they don't bother me, and I don't bother them.

Oh, wow, that's cool.

Well, Les, I hear you're a foreman now.

Oh, engineering, doing fine.

Well, that's terrific.

Now, when my company gets this new contract we're after, we're going to be

expanding. I might be able to throw some work your way.

Well, thanks, but I'm doing... Hey, Les.

We're family. It's the least I can do.

That's Rose.

I told you she'd be joining us. Rose? I don't remember that.

Yes, you do. Rose Holloway, my best friend.

I told you about her on the... Oh, you're kidding.

You and Les are just alike.

I couldn't introduce you, but she is a terrific lady. Great sense of humor. Uh

-oh, I've heard that before.

And cook. Oh, what do you see the pie she made for us? My mouth is just

watering.

And so athletic.

Aerobics twice a week.

That's what I like about her. She's so versatile and sexy.

Mary,

I got some of your mail by mistake.

Thank you, Pearl.

Well, time for my roughage.

Hi, Pearl. Hi, Mary.

Oh, here she is.

Sorry I'm late. I wanted to put on something a little warmer.

Yes, it gets a little cold around the elbows.

Rose Holloway, meet my brother, Louis.

Ah, Rose.

I'm sure by any other name would be just as sweet. How poetic.

Thank you, Louis. I've heard so much about you.

Haven't we all?

I hear you make a great apple pie.

Oh, come on now, what's Murray been telling you?

Well, how about some wine, everybody?

Sounds good to me. Me too.

Touch it and you'll draw back a nub.

Gross.

Well, here's to family and new friends.

And me.

Salute.

I wonder who that could be.

about to jump into my bath. My bubble bath.

When I realized I'm all out of my French body lotion.

Oh, my heavens! I didn't know you had company. Am I interrupting anything?

Yes. Oh, hello there.

You must be Mary's brother Lewis. I'm Sandra Clark.

I've heard so many fascinating things.

Well, I, uh, just... Uh, Sandra, we're just now... a French body lotion.

Why don't you go down to Pearl's? I think she has some paint remover.

Bye -bye.

Poor thing.

You know, she's trying so hard to please that husband of hers.

He's a professional football player.

Mean and so jealous.

Now, where were we?

What about dinner?

Oh, yeah. Better set the table if we're gonna make it to the play.

Play?

I told you I have to get up early in the morning. I got two guys all sick and a

load of concrete coming in at 7 a .m. Well, honey, why didn't you tell me?

I did.

I'm afraid you two will have to go without us. Tiffany can stay with

Okay. You get the feeling this has been planned.

Why, Lewis, whatever gave you that idea?

Mary, you shouldn't have gone to the trouble. I could have asked my secretary

pick up the tickets.

Well, that's okay, Lewis. I got them.

Well, if you'll excuse me for a minute, I have to phone my secretary and arrange

to dump a load of country.

Morning, Mary.

Oh, hey, Pearl.

Okay, child, what's the dirt?

Miss Cleary took a dog for a walk. Mm -hmm. And she forgot a pooper scooper.

Child, well, you know Rose went out with my brother last night. Yes, I saw him

leave. I know they had a good time.

I don't want to brag, but Lewis sure was a charmer.

So what time did he get home?

Now, Mary, I don't try to keep track of everybody who comes in this front door.

12 .23.

What time did he get up to your place?

I don't know.

12 .29.

Shoot, that only left six minutes to say goodnight.

Good morning,

Mary.

Good morning, Percy.

So how was it?

How was what? The date.

Oh, we had a nice time.

Nice time?

In six minutes.

It was a very pleasant evening.

The play was really good.

Rose? Yes?

Well, where are you going? To the market.

Oh, no, you're not. You know I'm down here about this date.

Mary, I told you I had a nice time.

Well, you don't sound like you had a nice time.

Well, it was all right.

Perhaps it wasn't the best time I've ever had, but it was all right. Did he

you goodnight?

Uh -huh.

Well?

Well, what?

How was it? How was what? The kiss!

The kiss?

I forget.

You forget?

Your first kiss since the jitterbug, and you forget?

Morning,

ladies. Hi, Sandra.

And Mary.

Off to work?

Oh, yes. Well, you know, most of us do that all the time.

went on the date with Lewis last night. And how'd you hear that?

From the grapevine.

Hello, grapevine.

Rose, did you have a good time?

Uh, she had a wonderful time.

The play was really good.

Uh -huh.

Well, if my instinct is right, and it always is.

Sounds like your date was El Flapper.

Your instinct stinks.

They said goodnight faster than a flea could jump on a dog.

Gonna take longer than that tonight.

What's that supposed to mean?

Means fate just brought Lewis and me together in the hall.

He's stepping out tonight.

You are?

Uh, yes.

He's so cute. He's one cute man.

It's obvious your parents put everything they had into him.

She makes me sick.

Wanna get sicker?

She could even become your sister -in -law.

Mary, this whole thing is your fault. They're only going on one date.

Yeah, that date is with Sandra.

She gets her claws into him, she'll never let go.

Now, how would you like to have a sister -in -law who can't die unless you drive

a stake in her heart?

I'm sorry it didn't work out with your brother. I mean, you can't blame me

entirely.

You're the one that got us together.

What I did was give you the chance of a lifetime.

Oh, that's okay.

You couldn't help it.

Well, what is that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Well, it must have meant something.

Or else you wouldn't have let it slide out the side of your mouth like that.

Well, then, I'm sorry it didn't come out the way I meant.

I apologize.

Thank you. So what did you do to screw up the date?

Mary, get off it. Don't give me get off it. You practically threw him in

Sandra's arms.

Mary, all I did was go to a play with the man. Sure, that's all you did.

Six minutes to say goodnight?

Takes longer than that to kiss your cat goodnight.

Well, what was I supposed to do? Jump his bones?

You could at least have rattled them.

But like how?

If I have to tell you that, this whole conversation is useless.

Mary, come on.

Let's not argue, okay?

I'm really sorry things didn't work out.

I mean, I did my part.

I went out with your brother like you begged me to.

Begged you to?

the one running around giggling like a schoolgirl all afternoon.

Probably what turned him off, that stupid giggle.

Mary, did it ever occur to you that perhaps it was your brother who turned

off? Lewis, are we talking about my brother Lewis?

Let's just leave it alone, okay? Oh, I don't want to leave it alone.

I want an answer. Now, something must have soured the date, besides those

you have for elbows.

you what soured the date.

Your brother.

All he could do was talk about what a hot shot he was climbing up the

ladder. Watch it, Rose. Mary, you got me billed up for Mr.

Wonderful and all I got was a self -centered egotistical bore.

That's it.

You see that thing in there with the hinges on it?

That's the door.

Don't bother showing me out. I'll find my own way. Good.

Why so funny?

I was just thinking, Sandra and you, sisters -in -law?

I mean, I thought she was my friend.

Can you believe what she said about Louis?

And can you believe Sandra in our family?

Well, sure would jazz up the family tree.

Maybe you're making something out of nothing.

No dinner for me.

Let.

Let. How'd the business meeting go? Fine, fine.

I hear you have a date with Sandra.

Yeah.

She's a hot lady.

Yeah, a real firecracker.

What's wrong with your back?

A little accident.

You could call it fate.

You know, when I was leaving this morning, somehow I tripped on the stairs

Sandra was right behind me and caught me in her arms. It just happened.

What an amazing coincidence.

Yeah, I know.

She says she's a masseuse. She's going to be working on me.

My, my, look what the cat drug in.

And look what the cat left behind.

under control.

Mom, Brenda wants to play some cards.

Now, am I allowed to talk to her?

It's your life, dear.

Waste it if you want.

Tiffany, why don't you ask Brenda if she'd like to play Old Maid? I don't

how to play Old Maid. Ask your mother, dear. She's an expert.

Rose was in the laundry room.

And you didn't make up?

No. I put starch in her underwear.

No, you did not.

Yes, I did. And don't tell me I was being petty.

Come on over here and sit down. Come on over here, sit down, and listen.

I'll sit, but I won't listen.

Now, look, the way I see it, you got two problems.

You can't really do anything about Sandra and Lewis.

Either they're going to get together or they aren't.

But, Rose, that's something important.

You might be losing your best friend.

She said Lewis was a self -centered, egotistical bore.

With a pointed head.

A pointed head?

Like mine.

Now, look.

I know you love him. After all, he's your brother, and you probably see him

perfect. But maybe Rose doesn't see him that way. I mean, everybody's entitled

to their own opinion.

What's your opinion?

Well?

He's nice.

Polite.

Well -dressed.

He's got good teeth.

The truth.

He's a pain in the butt.

The whole expansion was my idea.

I mean, they look to Lewis for that kind of thing.

I mean, I've been there for six months, and they spotted me right away.

That's what I like about the company. They can spot talent.

We're home, Lewis. The only question is, are they going to be able to hold on to

me two years from now?

Would you like to come up one night, Captain?

I mean, when you're right for a job, you are right.

When you're hot, you're hot.

Oh!

What's the matter?

Just a little tightness.

Could you?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Better? Oh, yeah.

You have a wonderful hand.

You want to know what my next step's going to be?

What?

Vice president.

I give it to April.

Good night, Lewis.

I thought we had something going here.

Who's we? If you mean you and you, you're right.

Good morning, Rose.

Morning, Mrs. Jenkins.

Mind if I sit down?

It's a free stoop.

Rose.

I think that when a person is wrong, they should admit it and apologize.

I did nothing wrong and I will not apologize.

Not you, me.

Would you stop popping up and down?

All right, apologize.

Well, I thought I just did.

If you move, I'll break your knees.

Now, it's just quite possible you were right about my brother.

And what made you change your mind about him?

I didn't change my mind about him. I love him.

It's just that I realize that some people might not feel the way I do.

Might? How about positively?

That's cold.

Anyway, this is not about my brother. It's about you and me.

Blood is thicker than water.

But, well, we're only allowed one best friend.

Never thought of it like that.

Doesn't make it kind of special, huh?

That's why I've been thinking how important it is for us to make up.

So, I apologize for everything I said.

Well?

Have we made up?

You can grovel a little more.