Original subtitles

They have no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like, better believe it. There ain't no place like,

better believe it.

Cause there ain't no place like, there's no place like home.

I mean no place child.

Afternoon Sandra.

Better. Better?

It has a certain ambiance.

The only thing different is Mary isn't here.

That's it.

Lester left to the car to run a few errands. She'll be back in a minute.

Well, there goes the ambiance.

Ambulance!

Well, I was only taking a nap.

Is it all right if I sit here a minute? Or is Mary touchy about anyone else

using her crate?

No, I'm sure she won't mind.

Ooh, now I know why she's so snappy.

Oh, there she is now. She's parking the car across the street.

She'll never get that big car in that teeny space.

Oh, she'll get it in, Sandra. She'll get it in.

She got it in.

My goodness, what did she hit? A very expensive foreign car.

Oh, no.

Is she okay?

Well, she looks okay.

Except for those shoes.

Mary.

Mary, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Well, you may be okay, and your car may be okay, but it looks like you busted

the taillight on that BMW.

Oh, Lord. Somebody tell me those are the owner's initials.

You bumped into trouble. I dated a gentleman who owned one of those foreign

jobbies, and he used to tell me about the many thousands of dollars he'd spend

for the most incidental of repairs.

It's only a taillight.

Only a taillight?

Mary. They got to bring that taillight all the way from Düsseldorf.

You know how many Germans it takes to put in a taillight?

How many dollars does it take to put in this taillight? My gentleman friend

damaged his ashtray. It cost him $200 to replace it. It would have been cheaper

to give up smoking.

Well, Mary, don't worry. Your insurance company is going to take care of it.

Oh, Rose, do you have any idea how high our premiums are going to be after this

accident? As high as a wine on a space shuttle. Thank you, Pearl.

And plus, you've got to tell Lester about it. Thank you, Pearl.

Mary, I wouldn't be in your shoes for nothing in the world.

Thank you, Pearl.

Well, who do you suppose that car belongs to?

It's got to be somebody from the condo.

Oh, great.

That's all I need.

Well, you are going to leave a note on the car, aren't you? Well, of course.

wouldn't venture to give you any advice Mary.

Leaving a note is the right thing to do.

Oh and when was the last time someone dented your car and left you a note?

Well I don't own a car.

So you're quite an authority.

Well I know what's right.

What's right is to let the man's insurance company take care of the man's

After all nobody saw Mary do it. Did they?

I did. Me neither.

Well, I did.

And I can't lie.

Can't you give it a shot?

Come on, Mary.

Okay, I'm putting a note on the man's car. You think Lester will be happy with

that decision?

Well, of course. He will. He will.

Oh, please.

Now, Mary, it would be a lovely world if everybody went around sticking notes on

cars.

Excuse me. I believe I hit your car.

Pardonnez -moi.

I may have smashed your window and stolen your radio.

But they do.

And that's why God created insurance companies, Mary.

But far be it from me to advise you.

Ciao.

Well, Lester will be home soon.

I'll just wait till he comes before I put the note on the car.

Well, I want him to check my spelling.

TV dinner.

Because, dear, I have something to talk over with your father alone.

I'm not getting a little brother or sister, am I?

No, Brenda, you don't have to give up your room.

What are you doing?

Oiling my skates.

What you gonna do, roll around the room?

No, Calvin's taking me skating.

On a school night?

No, tomorrow.

Tomorrow's Friday. He's taking me tomorrow.

were you going to ask permission on Sunday?

Of course not.

I was going to ask you tonight.

Hi, Mrs. Jenkins.

Oh, hi, Calvin. Hey, Brand, you ready to go?

Uh, go?

Go where?

To the skating rink.

Um, Calvin, you must be mistaken. We're supposed to go tomorrow night, right?

Tomorrow? Well, why did you just tell me to hurry up and get my skates?

You see, if he was a Rhodes Scholar, you might have gotten out of there.

Oh, did I say something wrong?

Calvin, go skating.

Oh, thanks, Mrs. Jenkins.

Isn't Brenda coming?

No, Calvin.

Thanks, Mrs. Jenkins.

I'll deal with you later.

Mom, what if I was going to practice with a roller skating team on a school

night? That would be okay, wouldn't it? Nope.

leaf on a school night.

Are you this creative at school?

Mom, you're being unreasonable.

Thank you, dear.

Can I go on Saturday?

No. Why not?

Because you lied and that's your punishment.

What's with Brenda?

Oh, nothing for you to worry about, honey.

Just enjoy your dinner.

How do you like everything?

One of my favorites.

All of my favorites.

Good bread, good meat, good Lord, let's eat.

Aren't you wondering about mine?

Uh -uh.

Well, aren't you wondering why I'm doing all this?

Uh -uh.

Lester. Mary, can I finish my meal before you tell me the bad news?

When I was coming home from the errands this evening, I had an accident with the

car. The car?

You didn't bang up the car.

Oh, there's not a scratch on it. But you did hit something.

A BMW.

Couldn't you have hit an American car?

Do you know how much it costs to repair one of those things?

Aren't you even going to ask if anybody was hurt?

I'm sorry.

Was anyone hurt?

Mary, do you know how much it costs to repair one of those things?

I know how much it costs for the ashtray. Did you hit an ashtray?

No, a taillight.

Well, what did the guy say?

There was no guy.

No guy?

When I was parking, I hit a parked car parked across the street.

I thought of leaving a note.

And did you?

No.

I want to see what you thought.

What do you think?

Well, it would have been the right thing to do.

Let's see if I can see it from here.

Which one is it?

The red one with the broken taillight.

You mean the one the police are towing away?

What?

It was parked next to a fire hydrant.

There it goes.

Oh, what a shame.

Rose, I was ready to write the note.

Lester... Lester was ready to put the note on the car.

Is it my fault that they towed the car away? No.

What else could I do, Rose?

Could have put a note on the car right away.

Yes, Rose, we all know that. And we all know that if I had it all to do over

again, I would have, right?

Right.

What do you want me to do?

Hire a blimp with a sign?

Put billboards up all over town saying, Everybody...

With a busted taillight, please be merry.

I'm sorry, that's all I can do, Rose.

You could try walking across the street.

What? The car's back.

Good.

You can put a note on the car now.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, Calvin. If we can't go outside tonight, then when can we go out?

I don't know, Calvin.

Maybe when I'm a lot older. I might get my freedom then.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Miss Halloween.

Hi, Mr. Jenkins.

Well, what was that all about?

Oh, she's mad because I punished her. For what?

For not being honest.

Give me a pencil.

How about some pie, honey?

Oh, no thanks, baby. I'm full.

Besides, I got this work to finish.

What is your favorite?

Well, it used to be my favorite, but I've had it so many times.

Whoopee pie.

You know, that note's been out there all day.

Why doesn't he call?

Mary. Well, it's out there with my name and phone number on it for everybody to

see.

Might as well be tacked up in some men's room.

Will you stop it?

Well, what if some weirdo calls?

Hello, Mrs. Jenkins.

You want to crack my taillight?

I'm taking the note off the car. No, you're going to leave it right where it

Come on over here and sit down and relax.

Oh, honey, I can't. It's on my mind.

I can't even sleep.

Oh, Mary, I'm so glad I found you. I think I have found the problem.

The answer is right here in this gardening book. Do I drain it? No.

Mary? Poor thing.

She said she didn't sleep at all last night.

Hello, ladies.

What happened to Mary?

Did the tedium of her everyday existence finally get to it?

I had a bad dream.

Oh, it wasn't a dream. It's still there.

And so is that car.

Well, I had enough. I'm going to find the owner.

Did you

see

that?

He smashed the whole side of the car.

And he didn't leave a note.

Why should he?

Yours is already there.

You know, Mary, I can't even see the taillight anymore.

She's right, Mary.

Are you agreeing with her now?

Well, all I see is the note you left.

You better get it off that fast, Mary. You're looking at a $15 ,000 repair

At least.

Well, come on. I'm not going by myself. All right. Uh -oh.

Someone's coming out.

He's taking a note off the card.

That's a big man.

Yeah.

He looks pretty mean.

Yeah.

This could be rough.

I think I should go talk to him. Stop!

Come right back here.

That man is in no mood for talking.

He's in the mood to kill.

He's reading the note.

He's looking this way.

Act normal.

Just stop that.

You want him to come over here?

Now, why would I want a big, handsome luxury car owner coming over here?

Oh, shoot.

He went back in.

I wonder why he didn't come over here right away.

He's gone to get his gun.

That's nonsense, Pearl.

Men like that use their bare hands.

Well, all he's got is my name and phone number.

All he can do is call.

I bet he's furious.

When it settles down, he'll be reasonable.

I wouldn't count on it, Mary.

She's right, Mary.

Rose, would you pick one side of the fence and stay there?

Oh, you're in a fix, Mary.

I wish I could think of a way for you to get out of it.

I can help you.

Baron, listen to her, Mary. She knows what she's talking about.

But I didn't do it, at least not all of it. Yeah, but he's got your name, your

telephone number, and a repair bill for $15 ,000.

How are you going to break that to Lester?

Help me, child.

Oh, you're willing to listen to me now?

Yes. Whereas before you had no interest in what I was saying.

Utilize your femininity. Look helpless. Batch of eyelashes.

How long you mind?

Sandra, that is ridiculous.

Last week I ran a red light.

Policeman pulled me over.

I smiled, flirted a little.

What happened?

Let's say a court date turned into a dinner date.

In other words, what you're trying to say is that I should get this man

interested so that I can get out of paying the damages?

I can't do that.

Well, there is one other way.

I don't like this, Rose.

It's not honest.

Well, Mary, sometimes dishonesty is the best policy.

Is that the same Rose who brings the sermons down from the mountain?

Well, Mary, I don't like this either. But you don't want to end up owing a $15

,000 repair bill, do you? But Sandra pretended to be me. Oh, Rose, just give

a try.

I just don't want it to go too far.

Mop, tie and apron, potholder. Do I look like you now, Mary?

It's gone too far, Rose.

Oh, I know what's missing.

Wear those silly gloves you always wear when you're doing the dishes.

Sandra, are you sure about this?

Of course.

I'm Mary Jenkins.

When that handsome car owner comes over here, I'll convince him I'm responsible

only for the taillight, not for the total annihilation of one side of his

And then you promise to send a check for the damages of that taillight? Which I

will send him. And that will be that.

Not if I'm lucky.

Sandra. Oh, come on, relax, Mary. I intend to tell him the whole truth.

When? On our honeymoon.

Oh, well, look, he said he's on his way right over, so if you don't trust me,

just stay here and keep an eye on me.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Well, frankly, there is one thing I'm not too sure about.

Show me that walk of yours again.

You know where you move your legs without moving anything else?

Be cool now, be cool. This is going to work out fine for all of us.

Mary Deakins?

Yes.

I'm Marvin Grant.

Mary Jenkins.

So nice to meet you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It feels so natural. You have very nice hands.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Jenkins.

Mary.

Mary.

Oh, excuse me. How rude. My friends, Rose Holloway and Sandra Clark.

This is Marvin Grant.

Pleased to meet you, ladies.

Now, don't tell me because I always...

I scratched yesterday.

Well, it was more than a scratch. No, no, no. Just a little crack in the

taillight.

I almost didn't leave a note. It seemed so small.

But Sondra here convinced me.

I appreciate the note. But really, Mary, the car's nearly totaled and I don't

have enough... I know, Mr. Grant.

Mary just tapped your car.

Another car hit it today. I know because I was there.

Really?

Cross... my heart.

Oh, how could I doubt someone honest enough to leave a note?

And pretty enough to... It is Mrs. Jenkins, isn't it, Mary?

Yes.

But Lester, my husband, walked out two years ago.

me penniless.

My auto insurance lapsed, and frankly, I don't know how I'm going to pay you.

He took everything?

The money, the jewels.

I haven't had a new dress in two years. I mean, look at this old rag.

Tell you what, let's forget the damages. I'll let my insurance company handle

it. Great.

No. But Sandra, the woman's in trouble.

She sure is.

No, no, I'll handle it. I insist.

Oh, thank you, Marvin.

But I do feel responsible.

Isn't there anything little old I can do?

Well, why don't we discuss it over dinner?

Uh, Mary, how about some coffee?

Fine, make some.

Why don't you and I make it, Mary?

Since this is your house, Mary. Excuse me, Marshal. Of course.

Okay, Thunder, that's it.

Call it off. If you give me five more minutes, I'll have him paying your rent.

Not the agreement.

Tell her, Rose. That was not the agreement.

Well, look, if we tell him now, he'll just get angry, and I'll never see him

again. I don't care. It's wrong.

Well, then you tell him. I will.

Mary!

I tried to stop you, Mary. What's going on here?

Look, buddy, you can't come waltzing in here after two years and expect

everything to be the same between you and Mary.

Sandra, nobody gets married. Hey, Mary, this is my house. And if you think

you're going to take that, too, you've got another thing coming. Wait a minute!

Mary will explain.

Mr. Grant, I hope you didn't mind what Sandra did.

Oh, no, I was glad she did it.

Because if she hadn't been you and you hadn't been her, we would have never met

and I wouldn't be taking her out tomorrow night for dinner.

Oh, can I get you some more pie?

Oh, no thanks, Mary. It was delicious.

Well, I should be getting home.

Got a busy day at the office tomorrow.

Well, we'll be glad to take care of the damage that Mary did. No, I said that

wasn't necessary.

And I said we insist. But that taillight doesn't make a difference anymore.

But you gotta let us do something.

Well, listen.

I'm new in this neighborhood and...

You are the first people I've been comfortable with. I wouldn't mind having

friends to drop in on now and then for some home cooking or maybe to watch the

Redskins game.

And you got it right here, season tickets.

Hey, fantastic.

And don't forget, dinner next Friday.

Ooh, hey.

Mom, can I have some more pie before it's all gone?

Oh, Brenda, honey, I'm glad you're here.

We just learned a little lesson that I think you might benefit from.

I deceived Mr. Grant today.

And I learned something.

I got to practice what I preach.

Does that mean I can go skating next Saturday?

No.

That means honesty is the best policy.

Thanks again, Mary. And your pie was the best I've ever tasted.

But, Mom, isn't that our roses pie?

I'm going to leave Mr.

Grant a note, dear.