Original subtitles

I don't know. I just feel bad for the weeds.

Weeds are nothing but green losers.

Well, maybe weeds are just like, you know, homeless plants looking for a lawn

call their own.

Right. And who are we to judge which plants have more of a right to it?

I know.

It looks unusual.

I'm going to go open a can of something and eat it.

What is that?

I was at the junkyard and I found a bunch of old radios.

So I made them into the sculpture I call it... Potato Radios!

Why? I was squeezing a potato when I thought of it.

Well, I love radios and potatoes.

Oh.

So you're part of the sculpture?

Nah, I just ran out of clamps, so I gotta hold these together till the glue

dries.

You're eating a can of pie filling?

It's all I've got.

Which is why I'm going to make you your favorite kind of sandwich.

Large? Uh -huh.

Spencer? Freddie? How does a big glass of lemonade sound?

Pleasant. Limon.

Okay, everybody. Just give me five minutes.

Is it possible she's in too good a mood?

It's like she's oozing happy.

Kind of like when my mom was taking those vegetable vitamins.

Goofy, but I need Freddy.

Freddy hates you.

I don't hate her.

Lemonade. Oh, thank you.

You look so pretty today.

Well, I suppose you do too.

What's up with Sally Sunshine?

She's been dating a new guy.

Well, I don't see how a boy could make a girl that happy.

Sure, because you haven't had a date since Seinfeld got canceled.

It wasn't canceled. Jerry chose not to do another season.

Mrs. Benson, not that we all don't want you to leave, but why are you here?

Oh, Freddie, I need to visit your Aunt Susan for a few days. Apparently, her

rash is spreading.

Spencer. I need to have Freddy stay here.

No problem. Just make sure that Freddy gets to bed every night by... Mom!

Boys without bedtimes never... Now what?

Oh, my God. The rash spread to her thighs.

I've got to go online and do some cream and ointment research.

Your aunt sounds awesome.

Like your family's not full of freaks and mutants.

Touché.

All right.

I think these radios ought to be set by now.

I held those things together for like three hours.

How long does that glue take to dry?

Um, I don't think this is glue.

Then what is it?

Ball joint lube.

Oh.

In five, four, three, two.

Give me your love and affection, and no one gets hurt.

Hey. Hi.

Hey, Sam.

Freddie. What's up, bro? Hey, boy.

What are you doing here? I thought you'd been on your way to L .A. by now.

I should be, but I wanted to give you something before I go.

What'd you bring?

Dude. Dude.

Open it.

What'd you do?

Something.

It's one of a kind.

Like you.

It's gorgeous.

You're amazing.

You are. You are. You are. You are.

Everybody, take your seat.

Today, we are going to... Who's that?

Steven. You don't go to school here.

Um, no, sir. I'm homeschooled.

Homeschooled kids.

Bunch of uneducated, socially deprived weirdos.

Yeah, you got a lot of room to call other people socially deprived weirdos.

Hey, you want to get kicked out of this class? It's my dream.

Too bad.

And anyway, Stephen is not a weirdo.

And I'm not too socially deprived.

I've been dating Carly for three months.

It's true.

And I think I've been getting a pretty good education from my parents.

Really?

Fourteenth president of the United States.

Franklin Pierce.

I like you.

Me too.

Why don't you think about coming here to Ridgeway?

I'd love to, but I spend every other month in Los Angeles with my dad.

Yeah, his parents are divorced, but they maintain a healthy friendship.

Really? Yeah, it's totally amicable.

Oh.

Hey,

I got a bolt.

My flight leaves in an hour.

Okay, well, I'll see you when you get back.

And don't forget, our 100 -day kiss is coming up.

Oh, I know.

Sorry to interrupt.

Oh, oh, you're welcome any time.

Bye.

What's a 100 -day kiss?

Oh, well, on the 100th day, you've been going out with someone. You have a

special kiss at midnight. To celebrate your 100 -day anniversary.

Ooh, what fun.

How can you have never heard of the 100 -day kiss thing?

I didn't know about it.

Well, yeah, but you're a gibby.

You didn't know about radishes till six months ago.

Well, I know about them now, don't I?

Yeah, it's funny.

And now, a disturbing voyage into the depths of the ever -puzzling gibberish

brain.

That girl Carly's really pretty, don't you think?

Sure. Just, uh, not my type.

Anyway, you know, we've been going out for over three months.

I do.

We're coming up on our hundred -day kiss.

Snake preview.

Show me the trailer.

back to L .A.

Still not sure why you're dating Tori when I was available, but whatever.

She's, uh... Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, come on, Gibby! Chicken legs!

Music!

I wonder if that Gibby guy's playing a character or if he's just that weird.

You guys ready for this? You ready?

Wait.

Okay, I'm ready.

Okay, you guys know my uncle. The creepy one or the real estate agent?

Real estate.

What about him?

He sold the house.

You ready?

You ready?

Are y 'all ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

To Kenan Thompson.

Kenan Thompson?

I love Kenan Thompson.

What up with that? What up?

Good stuff.

Wait, it gets better. I met Keenan. Shut up. Yeah, I went with my uncle to the

house. You know, when Keenan was buying it, and I hung out with him for like two

hours. Oh, my God.

That's very cool.

I knew a guy whose dad bought a house.

They found a dead woman in one of the closets.

She was blonde.

All right.

Come on, come on. More about Keenan.

Right, so I tell him, man, your house is insane.

You could have a sick party here. And then Keenan goes, so why don't you have

one? What?

What house?

Yeah, he's not moving in until next month because he's going to be in New

So we said I could have a little party there next Saturday night.

Oh, my gosh. All of y 'all are invited. I'm not too sure about Rex. He'll be out

there.

You can't dip French fries in mayonnaise.

I don't know. Just thought I'd swing by early and say hey.

Oh, hey.

How you guys doing?

Good. How are you?

So, how was your, uh... Uh, did you just take a pic of me and Tori?

Yep -a -roonie.

And what are you going to do with it?

Post it on the slap, our school website. I have a whole page with pics of my

friend. It's a small page.

It is not. Robbie.

It's small.

Yeah, um, listen, could you not post that pic of me and Tori?

Sorry, I've got it set to automatically upload pics right after I take them.

Why don't you want them to post it?

Uh, you know, not having the best hair day.

Oh, here.

Let me fix it.

Ah!

Crazy!

Okay. Hey, Robbie.

Do you want to take a pic of me for your slap page?

No, no thanks.

A geek rejected by a freak.

That's ironic.

Okay,

you take three oranges.

So, what's this game called?

Boomba. Boomba.

Now, I take three.

Who taught you this fruit game?

My mom.

Oh, no.

Next, we both face away from each other.

Now what?

I win.

Good game.

What you doing, kid?

Seeing what Carly Carson looks like in various fonts.

Stephen's last name is Carson? Yes, you should know that. I love him.

Carly Carson.

It even sounds cute.

Carly and Stephen Carson.

Stephen and Carly Carson.

Hey, look, here come the Carsons. Oh, they look so cute together. I just love

it.

Wasn't there some actor named Stephen Carson?

No, let me look it up.

And while you're at it, see if you can find out if oranges can crack a spine.

Because I think they can!

Ah, man up.

Or at least boy up.

You find the actor?

No, but I found something.

What'd you get?

Well, when I typed in Stephen Carson, this picture of my Stephen came up

with his name.

Doing? Who's she?

He's a girl, and don't say doing.

She looks like that Shelby Marks chick you fought.

Yeah, but this girl's way hotter.

I didn't say doink.

What website is that?

Theflap .com.

It's for a performing arts high school in L .A.

Why would Steven be there with that girl?

Maybe they're just friends.

No guy's just friends with a girl like that. Damn. Well, if he's cheating on

you, better we find out now.

Steven's not a cheater.

As far as you'll know.

Here, let me see if I can find some more pics of this Tory girl.

Why? So we can stare at her and drool.

I'm researching her.

Oh, yep, there it is.

Wow. Oh, guys.

Oh, man. Look at those cheekbones.

Look at... Oh, guys.

Oh, she is smoking hot. I can't...

Boomba. Is everyone done assaulting me with oranges?

Oh, look.

Sam and Freddy are here. That's different.

So what goes on?

Steven's cheating on Carly. What is... How come Sam thinks he's cheating?

I found a picture of him in L .A. with some girl.

Quite some girl.

Who is hideous.

Let me see her. Let me see this girl. Whoa.

That is quite a high -resolution monitor.

Why are you walking like a bloated zombie?

Because I spent five hours wedged in this sculpture.

Trying to glue those radios together.

Now my back's all twisted up like a Frenchman's pretzel.

Hey, who wants to rub some of this menthermal cream on old Spence's back,

Fine.

I know someone who'd love to do it.

When all hope is gone, what can we hope for?

More hope.

And the comet hits!

Oh, no, no! Cut! Defeat acting!

What's the problem? Your screams were unconvincing.

You've got to show real terror.

I thought we were pretty good.

Oh, please.

I've let out fiercer shouts in my bathtub.

But is it just me?

That was good.

Ah, Jade.

You're a sour taste, aren't you?

Ah, cat!

What did your doctor say?

Ooh, a note.

Whoa! Dear Gandhi!

What is it?

Her doctor's in Culver City. The traffic must have been horrible.

What did the doctor say is wrong with her?

Oh, uh...

She has vocal nodules.

What are vocal nodules?

They're growth on the vocal cords.

Shut up!

You cannot speak until you are healed or you could damage your vocal cords

permanently and never sing again.

This is a lovely color, by the way. Like a red velvet cupcake.

Say it, Kat.

Okay, where were we?

Uh, you were saying our... acting was terrible oh yes indeed but not all your

acting just the fear okay so how do we do it better easy think back to a time

your life when you experienced real fear true terror then let the memory of that

emotion bubble up into your acting does it count if you've caused true terror i

don't think i've ever felt true terror

Then I'll have to work on that.

accompanying Lewis and Clark on their trailblazing expedition across the

United States.

Hey, Shay, Puckett, are you texting in my class?

Yep.

Bring your phones up here.

Right now.

Move it.

I want you to read your text messages out loud to the whole class, or I will.

Just deal with the fact that... Steven might be cheating on you.

Will you stop saying that?

I love him.

And then I typed colon P.

That means she stuck her tongue out. I know all about colon P.

What?

What?

What's so funny about colon P?

Will we get to meet Kenan at the party?

Uh, there's no party at Kenan's house. Kenan who? You guys can't come?

Yeah, we can.

It's an open invite.

That's cool.

Right. Right?

Read the tweet.

See you at the party.

happening here what are you doing home from school there was a gas leak so they

let everyone go home early who are these ladies they're uh

they're this is my book club

This was fun.

Bye -bye.

Everybody have their purpose?

Bye -bye.

Thank you. Bye -bye.

Okay.

Thanks a lot. Uh -huh.

So how was school?

I want to talk about Stephen, who's not cheating on me.

Denial's not just a river in Utah.

Egypt!

Give me ten minutes online and I bet I can prove Stephen's cheating on you.

There's nothing wrong with being in a book club. I know.

It's just not the manliest thing in the world.

It is too manly.

Oh, no.

Nancy forgot her makeup pouch.

Nancy!

Kat.

Hey, Kat.

I got it.

Did you download that app I told you to get, Speechy Cane? Mm -hmm.

Good. Fire it up.

Okay.

This headband has a speaker in it that works via Bluetooth.

So while you're on vocal rest, you just wear this on your head.

Here, let me turn it on.

Now, hit speak, then type anything.

Anything.

Very funny.

Last night, my brother bit my foot.

Well, I don't need to know everything.

He sounds mad.

Don't be so nervous. I'm not nervous.

I felt your hand tense up.

You tweeted about the party at Kenan's house. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did.

I'm looking at the tweet right here.

I didn't tweet about the party.

I did.

Rex, I told you not to tell anybody.

I had to get the word out to my Northridge girls.

Oh, man.

I'm really sorry.

And believe me, I'm going to be having a really frank talk with Rex when we get

home. Oh, man.

You're a nut!

He's really mad.

But he's got beautiful skin.

I must

have really wrenched my back.

Gibby, you sure you don't mind doing this?

Any evidence that Stephen's cheating on me? Okay, first, I learned a long time

ago, never admit anything.

And no, I didn't find any specific evidence that Stephen's cheating on you.

Say ha.

Ha!

But if Stephen is cheating on you, I've got a way to catch him. How?

Gather round, children. Come gather round, Mama.

This Steven, aka Carly's boyfriend, cheating on Carly with this chick, Tori

Vega. No, he's not.

Dude, I... He told me I'm one of a kind.

Yes, and my dad once told my mom he was coming back.

So, moving on.

This pic was posted on theslap .com, a site for a high school called Hollywood

Arts in Los Angeles.

mutual friend of Tori, some kid named Rex, whose profile pic for some reason

shows an urban puppet.

He tweeted yesterday about a big party that's going on this Saturday night at

Kenan Thompson's house in Hollywood. The famous Kenan Thompson?

Gee, I don't know. It could be Kenan Thompson, the butt doctor.

Not there! Not there!

Since this Rex dude's going to that party and one of Rex's top friends is

Tori chick, then we can assume that Tori's going to be at the party too.

And if she is dating Steven, I'll bet you a truckload of fat cakes Steven will

be at that party with Tori.

And if they are, how do you know they're not just friends?

Read Tori's latest status update.

So pumped for Saturday night.

Bring in the BF.

BF means boyfriend.

Thank you, Freddie.

We thought it meant big finger.

All right.

So now what?

We are going to make Spencer drive us to L .A.

And we are going to crash that party and see for ourselves if Stephen's a

cheater or not.

Hey, if I really have to drive you guys to L .A., can Gibby come?

He's got the hands of a goddess.

I am here for you, buddy. Yeah.

Thanks, Taco.

All right, everybody. Taco just dropped off the van, so let's hit the road. L

.A. is a long drive.

Yep, we're just going to crash that party, bust Steven for cheating on

we find out he's innocent.

Everyone's innocent till proven peaty.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Guys, I just realized something.

Me too.

There are no yellow foods.

What about corn?

Bananas. Squash. Butter.

Lemons.

So, what'd you realize?

The party.

What if people there recognize us from iCarly?

Oh, man, you're right. We can't spy on Steven if everyone's coming up to us

going, Yo, you're from iCarly. What's wrong with that gimmicky?

I got it.

My ex -girlfriend Moni lives in L .A. She does special effects makeup for

and TV shows.

You think she could make me, Sam, and Freddie look different enough not to get

recognized? Sure. She does Hasselhoff.

I'll just call her on the way.

Yellow peppers?

Tori!

Tori, you have to talk to Andre for me.

What about?

He's got to change the date of his party at Kenan Thompson's house.

The party's tomorrow.

I know, but Lane asked me to babysit his stupid friend's kid, so I said yes. So

when I heard about the party, I tried to bail, but Lane won't let me out of it.

Stupid Lane.

Why does Lane need you to babysit?

He and his friend are going to see MacGruber the musical.

The musical?

Just tell Andre to move the party the next week.

It's too late to change it, and Kenan said he could only have the house

night anyway.

Ugh!

Completely unrecognizable?

Yeah, easy.

When's the party?

Tonight. I can get it done by then.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, Moni, I really appreciate you doing this.

It doesn't mean I'm not still angry with you.

Come on, we broke up six years ago.

You shattered my heart.

And my leg.

I didn't see you behind my car.

Just drop it.

Have a seat.

I'll get the makeup ready.

I thought Stephanie was the ex -girlfriend you backed over.

That was before, Moni.

So, wait, you backed a car over two girlfriends? I'm not the best driver!

Whoa!

Check this out!

You ain't tell me, Keith. This house was sweating diamonds.

I know, right? On Mustang, this is Tori, Steven, Cat, and Robbie.

What's going on?

I believe someone forgot to introduce someone.

That's right.

Downtown. Back around.

On Mustang is going to be spinning tracks tonight.

Striga, striga, straight up.

to do it, too.

I'm gonna go back over there.

Oh, let's go pick a place. A place for what? For our 100 -day kiss tonight at

midnight? It's gonna be good.

Can I watch?

No.

I'll give you 20 bucks.

No! You weirdo.

You have no watch.

You guys ready?

Ready. Let's see him.

Ready.

Who's Freddy?

My name is Chess Masterson.

Oh my...

So if you guys didn't know I was me, would you recognize me? No way.

She made you really good looking.

Sam?

Don't call me Sam.

Tonight I'm Regina Goodbody.

Unreal.

Patty Schwab.

Oh, no!

Patty Schwab ate my sister!

I did apologize for backing over you with my car, right?

All right, we better get to the party.

Agreed. Let's go.

Hey, wait a sec.

I'm on iCarly a lot. What if people recognize me at the party?

Oh, yeah.

Do you have anything for Gibby?

This is it?

Can I get, like, a mole or something?

Yeah, I can give you a mole.

There.

Okay. And your name can be... Roger.

Yeah.

Roger.

Roger Mole.

What?

We were trying to make time with those Northridge girls, man.

See what your tweet did?

Keenan told me I could have a small party and there's got to be at least 100

people here already.

Rex tweeted it.

Hey, if Robbie had tweeted it, nobody'd be here.

Because he only has, like, 13 followers.

Fourteen. Thirteen. I unfollowed you.

Vex? Hey, Andre.

What, Vincent?

There's a guy here who crashed the party.

Ninety percent of the people here crash his party.

Yeah, but this guy's wearing a panda bear suit. And he's running around with

tennis racket swatting people on the butt.

Man, I don't have time for jokes. Put on the... Go!

Whoosh. What am I supposed to say to Kenan if he finds out about all these

people here?

Kenan's in New York, so why don't you relax the yap?

Everything's fine.

You need to chill out.

Hey!

Somebody grab that panda!

Hey!

Andre just got whacked by a panda.

Have you seen a panda bear about this tall with a tennis racket?

All right, that's all.

Hey, stop that panda. Hey,

Andre, there's a panda bear with a tennis racket sneaking up behind you.

Did you find one? Yeah, right out back, and it's huge.

What are you guys talking about?

A jacuzzi.

Jade loves jacuzzis.

Sometimes I pretend I've been captured by witches and they're using me to make

human soup.

I'm... I'm sure you'd be delicious.

Yeah, I doubt it.

I would have brought a swimsuit if I had known.

Helping you to experience real fear that you can use as actors.

So I really scared you?

Yes. I peed.

Bravo!

Beck?

Sorry. He's unscareable.

Come on.

Let's go change and hit the jacuzzi so I can pretend to be Sue.

I'm Roger.

Hi there, Roger.

I like your mole.

Yeah, you do.

That mole's really working for him. Yep.

Effective mole.

Your cheating boyfriend.

Innocent till proven cheaty.

Continue. Okay.

Sam, you and Freddie look on that side of the house and upstairs.

I'll take this side. Spencer and Gibby... Roger!

You all got the super cool makeup and everything. I think the least you guys

do is call me Roger.

Okay, Roger.

Spencer, you and... Roger.

Check in the kitchen in the backyard.

I didn't mean it like that. I meant like, Roger that. You know how they do

the movies sometimes? Stop it!

Ready?

If you see Steven, do not engage.

I do not engage.

Contact the rest of us via text message so we can all converge at point Steven.

See, that's the kind of talk that makes me want to hit him.

Whatever.

Okay, are you guys ready?

Roger it.

like this.

Probably want to get a job then.

Nah.

Oh, baby.

Ooh, jacuzzi.

Oh, you should get up in that.

Get up in it now?

Throw your sword back.

Hot water, pulsing jets.

Fix you right up, says Roger.

Oh, why not? I don't think anybody would mind if I... Hey.

What happened to your mole?

Oh, crud! My mole's gone!

Must have fallen off in the house.

Well, I gotta find it!

How are you gonna find a tiny mole in that big house? Hey, kid!

Watch these for me.

Hi, kids.

My name is Cat.

Sorry I'm talking this way. I have a severe throat infection.

Do you have any retro music?

Like the Spice Girls?

Look, you seem like a nice kid, but you make me sick.

Aw, you see that? You irritate everybody.

Why do you always have to...

have him bring me some backup.

Till then, who wants to take the mic and throw some rhymes?

Yeah. Okay, all right, now put your hands up. Put your hands up. What if

Thompson's here? Now put your hands up. Come on.

You know, when an artist says to put your hands up, the polite thing to do...

realize Robbie was bad, but was it

necessary to throw that plant at him?

I'll take a swat.

No, no. I'm not letting no bucket.

Just bust a beat.

Yeah, freestyle.

Oh, yeah.

Ha.

Rex Powers.

Yeah.

Ha.

I'm going in.

Ha.

Yeah. Thanks, Robbie. Your rap is pretty floppy. Now let Rex flex and I'll be

sure to rock the party.

Who's the best freestyling MC? They better mention me. But I don't freestyle

for free. You better pay my fee.

Try and test my skills, man. Who you be?

Look dope rap up in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of me.

Stephen's not even at this party.

Well, that'd be great.

Because then maybe he's not cheating on me.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Carly.

You see a girl around here about this tall, brown hair?

No, I... No, no.

Not really.

I'm Patty Schwab.

Oh, wait. I see her.

I wanted to give you this.

Steven?

You nutball.

A charm bracelet?

Charm bracelet.

Yeah, it's one of a kind.

Like you.

Okay. That hurt.

That wounded me.

Oh my God, it's beautiful.

I love you.

I love you too.

And that killed me.

Now I'm dead.

Like you.

Isn't that like the exact same thing you said to you? Exact.

And I think even gave her the exact same charm bracelet.

You were right.

Go ahead.

Say you told me so.

I told you so.

Dude!

Oh, here.

Thanks.

Ow!

This napkin has salsa on it!

I had some talky toes!

Taquitos!

I'll be back. Wait.

Where are you going? To teach Steven a lesson for making you cry.

Oh, Freddy.

Thanks. You can't just go beat him up. He deserves it. I know.

But you're nerdy.

Steven would pound you silly.

Your flow is just bad. So I want to help you. So look, here's your homework.

Go read my rhyme book.

Yeah, yeah.

Props to the challenger.

Now it's to you, Rex.

Pump the beat.

Kitties, kitties, pay attention.

Empty Rex is rapping, so class is in session.

You better take notes if you want to survive.

Because you couldn't earn a dime within week or rhyme.

I battle anybody, name your time or place.

I be running circles around you like a relay race.

I'm so nice on this mic when I take control. I flip your hat backwards like

California roll.

Capone. Puppet style.

Cat,

give me the kids. I need to get them back to Lise before he gets home.

Looking for a mole?

Mole.

Where are you, mole?

Hey, Blondie.

You seen a mole on the floor anywhere?

A mole?

Yeah, about yay big, Coco Brown.

No way, you're that kid from iCarly .com.

No, no, no, no, I'm not. Wait, wait, wait.

Gibby. No, no, I'm Roger.

Hey, guys, get in here. It's Gibby from iCarly .com. Dude, you're going to blow

my cover. I got Gibby right here from iCarly .com.

Sorry I had to do that, man.

No. I think she should do it.

Yeah, give me one good reason why I shouldn't. The guy's a total jerk.

I agree.

Steven's a jerk, and we need to teach him a lesson, but... I'm not gonna let

give him a royal fizzbin.

Well, can I at least give him a regular fizzbin? No!

your web show.

No, but I know how in love you are with my boyfriend.

What do you mean I'm in love with your boyfriend?

It's okay, it's okay.

I'm in love with your boyfriend, so we're kind of even.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are we talking about my Steven?

Your Steven, my Steven.

He's been a busy boy.

You gonna knuckle down on this chick?

I brought the butter sock.

It's not her fault.

We're both victims.

Yeah, but I mean... I'm not going to beat her with a sock full of butter!

She wants you to hurt me with butter?

something wrong with the board spring my turn

said it's an expert

and

he even gave us both the exact

same charm bracelets oh when he gave you yours did he say it's one of a kind

mine engraved to Carly and yours to Tori. Yeah, at least... Wait.

Mine says to Topi.

You didn't even notice they got the engraving wrong.

Unless he's dating a third girl named Topi.

Too soon?

Okay, now that we all know Steven's a stinking cheater, let's talk about

revenge. Once again, I offer the butter sock.

We don't just want to hurt Steven.

We don't?

No. Oh.

We need to make sure he never does this to any other girls.

Yeah.

Hey, there's like 200 people at this party.

What if we expose Steven in front of everybody here?

Yeah, we put him in front of the whole party, yank his pants down, get some hot

sauce. That's not what I meant.

She means expose him for being a liar and a cheater. Yeah.

You like it?

Mm -hmm.

But let's not just expose him in front of a couple hundred people.

How about more like a million?

What?

Oh, come on. I want to be a part of your iCarly unspoken communication.

How are we getting... back at Steven.

Now, I want you out of here. I definitely want you out of here. I want

of here, and I want you out of here.

Come on, man. Let me say.

Have a giraffe.

You bought me a giraffe?

Okay, well, yo, listen. It's kind of crazy in here. Andre, why are you

Because you said I could have a small party.

Well, yeah, but not this small.

Where is everybody?

But there's like 200 people here.

Okay, look, a small party means like 400 to 500 people, man.

Look at those girls.

Those have got to be Northridge girls.

You know what?

You can tell by just how they... So you're not mad?

No, I'm not mad. Kiss your giraffe.

just met and everything, but would you maybe want to help us out with

There it is. You see that? There it is right there. Why does everybody want to

borrow money from me?

I mean, you guys, Andy Samberg, half the original cast of all that.

Oh, I used to love that show.

Your cheekbones are like just perfect little sugar plums.

the revenge on a really bad guy?

The panda?

No. Her boyfriend.

David? Who's also her boyfriend. Which we just found out.

No money.

No money.

Just revenge.

Just revenge.

All right, tell me more. Okay.

That 4th of July, we took it down to the... Oh, hang on.

Text from Tori.

Ooh, time for a 100 -day kiss.

Late.

Happy 100 -day anniversary.

You ready for this?

Are you ready for this?

I'm tripping. I do believe we got the iCarly crew at this gig fresh off the

internet.

Sam, right?

Uh -huh.

And you're calling out Rex?

Mm -hmm.

Mama gonna take a puppet down.

Whoa!

He doesn't like to be called a puppet.

Nah, nah, nah. It's cool. It's cool.

But let's see if you can beat this puppet.

Fuck it.

I ain't taking this back, cause everybody knows that chick can't rap.

I'm so cool, I make thermometers drop. But with my lyrics so hot, I make

thermometers pop.

Cause me, I always get things poppin'. And you should stick to shoppin'.

I battle better, but they all came and went. Face it, Sam, you're the opening

act, and I'm the main event.

Back up, Shirley.

and took his hand out your back.

All right.

I'm somewhat offended.

But I admit, Mama's got it.

Thank you.

You all are Northridge girls, aren't you?

driving home, looked out my window, and found him asleep by some trash can.

Well, what kind of babysitter would allow two small children to just wander

around the streets? You know this one needs medication!

Nobody know.

Victory.