All language subtitles for Tom Green Country S01E02.en-ca.dialog.sdh

A one, two, three, four...

[country music]

Whoo! Yeah!

That's right.

♪ Heading home to the country ♪

♪ To a place I've always been ♪

♪ Goodbye, California
And all the things I've seen ♪

♪ Goin' back to Canada
To live my American dream ♪

♪ On a hundred acres
Where the grass is always green. ♪

[country music]

[Tom] So, what's going on?
What have we done here?

Well, we've planted some plants.

Over there are potatoes
under the first row.

Then, they have lettuce.
One of these was carrots.

How about the asparagus?
That's really taken off, hasn't it?

I know.
Why don't we cut some for supper?

-Where should I cut 'em? Here?
-Yeah, that's good.

-I only eat the tops of them.
-Why?

I just like the soft tops.

-Waste not, want not.
-You eat the whole bottom of it?

[Mary Jane]
Have you ever tasted these ones?

They're tender, tender all the way down.

-I just like the tops.
-You're such a baby.

-No, I just like the top part.
-Hollywood guy.

I thought everyone just ate the tops.

-A spoiled child you were.
-Really?!

[country music]

[Tom] So, this is the sun setting.

We want to place the shitter
where the sunset hits it, I think, right?

So you can have a nice sunset poo.

You're not a morning poo-er?

Morning... noon, night.

-Oh.
-Oh, yeah. Metamucil.

-Oh.
-Oh, yeah, I do it all day, all day.

Um, no, so, I was thinking,

because this is a little bunkie here
that we're working on,

and I was thinking right here in
the woods. It's sort of a little hidden.

There'll be a fire pit right here
with some chairs around it.

-[Steve] Mm-hmm.
-And so, I was thinking right here.

Would this be a nice spot for it?

-[Steve] Yeah, there you go. Yeah.
-Like that?

How deep a hole are we gonna make?
Like a good two feet deep or?

-Yeah, go three, probably.
-[Tom] Three feet.

-[Rob] About three.
-Yeah.

[Tom]
Nice, yeah.

Go until you hit rock, I guess.
This is my first shithole.

Savor these moments.

I can't wait
when I get to use it the first time.

That's gonna be a big day.

A little more, a little more.

-Whoa, Rob. Oh.
-Oh, wow.

-Come a little more.
-What a dream.

-See the way the sunset hits?
-Yeah.

It's like Indiana Jones, you know,
when the light comes up.

Makes it all look gold.

Except this isn't
the lost Ark of the Covenant.

It's just my new shitter.

[country music]

-Peter, how are you?
-Good, Tom. How are you?

Jerry, how you doin'?
-How you doin'?

-Good to see you.
-Good to see you, Tom.

This is awesome.
This is my mom and dad.

Yeah. We met them earlier in the garden.

Good to see you again.
Boy, you guys work fast.

-[Richard] Struck oil yet, or what?
-Not yet.

We're trying.

[Tom] So, we're gonna actually go...

I'm gonna let the chickens free range
for the first time right now.

Are they just gonna run away?

Throw a little bit of grain on the ground.

-So I should go get their food.
-Yeah.

And throw it on the ground.

-Can you go get the chicken food, Mom?
-No.

It's only like a 50-pound bag.

No, I'm not doing that.

-Can you just go grab it?
-No.

Time to feed the chickens.

Got some chicken feed.
I've got worms.

[Mary Jane] Yeah, that's gross.

These are actually dried mealworms.

-You want to feed some to the chickens?
-All right.

[Tom] You're not so grossed out
you won't hold them, right?

-[Mary Jane] They're dead.
-[Tom] They're dead, yeah.

-Joe told me you ate one.
-I did do that.

-Why did you do that?
-That was for a joke.

It's because we're making
a television show.

I didn't eat a bowl of them with milk.

-A lot of protein in that, though.
-[Richard] Yeah.

Probably would give you good energy
to eat a bowl of those every morning.

Probably would be.

Your dad might do that,
so you better not encourage.

You're blocking Dad's shot, by the way.

-Find the lens. Find the lens.
-Excuse me.

-You've been on television a long time.
-Yeah, usually.

You two were some of the first TV parents
to be pranked on television.

I do recall that.

Now, it's all the rage
on TikTok, YouTube.

Yeah, it's true.

-We started that.
-No, you started that.

-I woke you up in the middle of the night.
-Yeah, it's true.

When I painted the pornography
on your car.

Holy Christ!

-Yep.
-And I painted your house plaid.

Brought the zoo animals in.

Sort of like it was a precursor to this.

-That was our rehearsal.
-[Tom] Yeah.

Hi, girls. Good girls. Look at them.

They've never been out.
It's like a whole new world for them.

They're supposed to come back.

-Ooh, yummy.
-Oh, well, there we go.

I'll just put some of this here,

so they know where their bread
is buttered. Look at this, Peter.

-Hi!
-[Tom's parents laugh]

Taking the chickens for a walk.

Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Come on.

-Come on.
-[Mary Jane] Look it.

-Oh, that's good!
-Yeah, there you go.

-Pass me some of those worms, Mom?
-Okay.

When I decided to move to the country,
I wanted to have fun like this.

-Yeah.
-Here you go.

Pecks my eye out.

Wow!

-Ooh, there's four, five, six, seven.
-Whoa!

Well, so maybe I'll leave one
in each thing.

Do you think
we could get them to lay

-large size eggs?
-Do you think it could be any windier?

They're not big enough?

[Mary Jane] No, it's fine.
I'm just saying, they're medium.

Get the others and stop your silliness.

-[country music]
-[engine turns over]

[Tom] How are you, Brent? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming!

-I sent you the video. Are they wolves?
-Well, they could be, yeah.

[Tom] You think they're wolves?

I think you possibly have both here,
wolves and coyotes.

We're more interested in the wolves,
and we'll go find some.

[Tom]
So, there's two trails here.

Oh, fuck!

I just got bit in the eye by something.
Do you see anything in there?

-Yeah, you got a little mark there. Yeah.
-I do? Is it bad?

[Brent]
Uh, no.

Okay. I don't know.
Is it just a black fly or what?

I've never felt a sting like that
from a black fly.

Usually, if they're still there,
you can feel it under your lid.

Oh, man. Not in Hollywood anymore, huh?

-[Brent] Nope, you aren't.
-[laughs] Yeah.

It's good to be home.
So, this is a good spot, you think?

Yeah, I think we've got
a nice trail down here.

It sort of feeds up over to the swamp.
This looks like a good spot.

We use these metal security boxes
when there's bears around.

Yeah, there are bears.

Yeah. So this is a scratch pad,
and we'll bury this,

just put a little litter over it.
We put some fish oil

or some other lure on top here
and when they come along,

they roll on their back on it,

then the barbed wire here
takes some of their hair.

-Does it hurt them?
-No.

-Just like that?
-Yep.

[Tom]
What is it made out of?

Glands from different animals,
all pulverized in a blender and...

Oh, wow. Where do you get it? Amazon?

This actually did come from Amazon,
but normally,

we buy a variety of them
from different trapping suppliers.

This show's on Amazon.

Well, and this came from Amazon.

-[laughs]
-Right there.

Does that mean if we ran out
while we're on the trail,

we could order some
and they'd bring it to the trail?

Jeff Bezos himself might bring it to us.

Fly in on a little drone
with some ground-up animal glands.

You know? Thanks, Jeff.

[country music]

-[Tom] Wow, this is looking great.
-[Peter] Perfect. Glad you like it.

-[Tom] Unbelievable.
-[Jerry] Thank you, Tom.

-What kind of fence is this?
-Eastern white cedar.

-We call it a fat rail fence.
-Yeah, and it's called a four-stake fence.

So you got the two main stakes,
and these are the two upright stakes.

-This is gonna stop a mule from...
-Oh, it should stop a mule, absolutely.

[Tom] I like the hockey sticks.
-[Jerry] It's Canadian.

[Steve]
It's a homemade jig...

for the rails, yeah,
to set them in place properly.

[Tom] Yeah, that's cool.
What's going on here?

I'm putting the hang wire on
to set the bottom rail in.

This here is what we call a bench
rail. That's the first rail that goes up.

Okay. This is all the cedar
we pulled off the property?

Yeah.

[Steve] And we're gonna put it
right in the bottom hoop there.

-Oh, is that what that's hooped for?
-Yeah.

And then, we're gonna meet up
with the other end there.

I see. Okay, all right.

-I see.
-Perfect.

I did nothing there, but that was cool.

So this is top rail, obviously,
and the bottom rail, bench rail,

and this small one
we're gonna slide in is a fill rail.

-Oh.
-Yeah.

And then, we start wiring.

As the fence settles,
the wire gets tighter.

[Tom]
Yeah.

How long have you been doing this, Peter?

Oh, gee, Jerry.
How long we been, Jerry?

[Jerry]
I started doing it for a living in '82.

[Peter] And I was probably
shortly there afterwards.

[Jerry] Yeah, and Dad,
he was in it ten years before that.

And then, Grandpa.

[Jerry]
He was in it. Great-grandpa built it.

[Peter] So, we're like fourth generation
building this fence.

[Tom]
Nice.

That's the way it's been done forever?

It's the way I was taught
when I was this high,

and the way I taught my son.

I actually rebuilt the fence
my great-grandfather built.

[Tom]
You rebuilt one?

That my great-grandfather built.
That was pretty impressive.

-[Tom] It must feel good.
-It was very good.

Yeah. That's how long
these fences stand for.

And then you drive around, you see them,

and you know they're gonna be there
for another 100 years.

-Exactly.
-This'll be here for another 100 years.

-It should be.
-[Tom] We're almost done here, right?

Yeah, we should be done
in another couple of hours. We'll be done.

[Tom] How'd it go, Jerry? Pretty good?

Yeah, it went all right
for an old, retired guy.

[laughs]

This is gonna be the beginning
of a beautiful chapter in my life.

Nice.

[Tom] What made you decide
to get into starting an antique shop?

Well, just something to do, you know.
I had to utilize the building.

Something to do with the building.
And we just started buying stuff.

You wanna buy that?

-How much is that one going for?
-Five bucks.

Five bucks.
Well, this looks like a pretty good deal.

-Maybe I'll come back in February.
-Sure, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Here, by the way,
would you like a... hard-boiled egg?

Certainly. I just had one, actually.

-Oh, did ya? Yeah.
-Yeah.

-[Tom] Those are from my own chickens.
-[Jim] Nice.

-Try that egg there.
-Well, I will. I'm not gonna try it now.

Really?
You're not a little worried about it?

No, not at all.

-You just had an egg.
-I did. Yeah.

What's some of the strangest things
you've ever found?

Well, a camel saddle.

But it's got the official Egypt sign
on it and everything.

-That would work good on my donkey.
-It might, yeah.

It'd be nice for Charlie
to ride the donkey.

Oh, yeah, that's great.
How much you want for this?

They're supposed to be worth
a whole bunch of money,

-I'd do 50 bucks on it.
-[Tom] Would you take 30 for it?

I'd do 40.

Forty? Okay. Okay,
you've got a deal there.

-I'll get the camel saddle for 40.
-Perfect.

That's the fun of buying antiques.

Absolutely. Oh, that's the big fun, yeah.
I love the wheeling and dealing.

Yeah, absolutely.
Wheeling and dealing here with Jim.

I get beat up every day here.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Well, I feel like I just got beat up, too.

Well, that's good.

[country music]

-[Tom] How are you, Brent?
-[Brent] Oh.

Hey, Tom. I hear your voice over there,
but I can't see you.

-Can't see me, right?
-[Brent] No, but I do see Charlie.

-I'm camouflaged.
-You're ready for the day.

Yeah, we're gonna go out
in the woods today.

I thought I'd just kind of surprise you
by hiding here in the birch tree.

[Brent chuckles]

[Tom] Location one.
Do you remember where it is?

It's around here somewhere.
I see our camera on the tree,

so here it is.
Let's have a peek here.

There it is right there.

Well, it actually looks like
there's a little scat on top.

Some poo-poo.

A little carnivore has pooed
on top of our hare trap.

The poo on there is pretty small,
so it's probably not a wolf.

So, wait, wolves can't have small poos?

When we're actually following wolves
or coyotes in the wintertime,

to try and figure out what they're eating
or if they've killed something big,

if you're following their tracks
in the snow and you find a spot

where they've taken a dump and
it's just a big splot with no structure,

-then you know that they've...
-That means they've been to Pizza Hut.

Well, no, that's what you'd think...

That means they've been to Taco Bell.

They've just killed something
and eaten all the meat.

-That means they've been to KFC. Yeah.
-They've been somewhere greasy.

You gonna grab the whole camera
or just the card?

Just take the card.
If we leave the camera here,

then we're gonna have
to trim the bush a little bit.

What do we have to do?

[Tom] There we go.

Motion 254, so,
there's lots of motion on here.

-[Tom] Two hundred and fifty-four shots?
-Yep.

That's pretty cool.

[country music]

Fanny and Kia are arriving
any minute now.

We've got water for them.
We've got everything all set up.

Thank you guys for everything you've done
to make this possible.

-You're welcome.
-Thank you.

-The barns are looking great.
-It's great.

Big question is, should I wear a hat
for when... I'm not sure.

What would somebody
in the country do, Ryan,

in a situation like this,
sort of a formal situation?

Yeah, you're dressed up pretty formal.

I got dressed up today.
Yeah, I didn't wear my overalls.

This is really happening.

I'm gonna wear the hat, I think.
This is a big day, so, thanks, guys.

I know you gotta run, but I'm just
gonna sit here and pace around.

-Good luck.
-Thank you.

Congratulations, man.

-Yeah, congratulations.
-Thank you.

See you, Tom.

[Tom]
See ya.

Exciting.

Your new sisters are coming,
your new big sisters. Fanny and Kia.

Who would've thought that I was ever
gonna get a mule and a donkey?

Seems like just yesterday
I decided to move to the country.

Now, I'm here on the farm.

The mule, the donkey,
they're arriving in moments.

I've been nervous about this,
but excited,

and it's finally, truly happening.

What the hell am I doing?

Oh, my gosh, they're here. Wow.
Ready, Charlie?

You ready?

Wow. Wow. Welcome!
Right there is good.

Wow. Oh, I can... Fanny! Hello!

-Hi. I'm so excited.
-Hi, there. How are you?

-Hello! How are you? Kaija, right?
-Very good. Yes.

-Hi. Lisa.
-Lisa. Hi, Lisa.

-Duke.
-Duke. How are you, Duke?

-How was the drive?
-Hi, Charlie.

Excellent drive. Good conditions.

-How long was the drive?
-Eighteen hours.

Eighteen hours, wow.

So, I'm very, very excited about this.

You know, we put all these fences in.
These are all new fences

that were rebuilt out of existing cedar
rails that were on the property.

Two-acre area for them.
We've got the barns cleaned up.

I'm gonna have a lot of questions today.

I've never had a pet mule
or donkey before.

-Yeah.
-There's no stupid questions.

Well, you'll probably find that there is.

-[laughs]
-Yeah.

I'm actually a bit nervous about this.

I was saying
I kind of feel like I'm having a kid.

You are getting
an incredible friend today.

Is there anything you'd like to tell me
about Fanny before I officially meet her?

Only that you're gonna fall absolutely
and deeply in love.

And Kia. Kia's two.

Yes, she's just a baby.
She's extremely friendly.

Yeah. They get along. They're friends.

-They're friends.
-Yeah.

Look at this, Charlie.

[Lisa]
Just hold it closed for me for a minute.

[Tom] Look at this, Charlie.

[donkey braying]

Whoa. What's that, Charlie?

Wow. She's a big girl.

Wow. Back's out, huh?

Hi. Hi, Fanny. Whoa, you're beautiful!

Wow. Hi, Fanny.

What do you think?

Wow. Hi. She is
just such a beautiful animal.

But is it okay...
I could go give her a little hello?

-Come pet her. Yeah.
-Absolutely.

Yes. Hello, Fanny. Hi.

Oh, Charlie, you're being so good.
I'm so proud of you, Charlie.

Okay. Well, let's take them
into the barnyard here. Wow.

[Lisa] I'm gonna hold Fanny out here
while Kia gets off.

-Okay. Wow!
-[Lisa] So Kia doesn't feel nervous.

I'm gonna get kicked in the head. Okay.

Wow, you are a gorgeous girl, too!

-Good girl!
-Here you go. Hi.

Yeah, good job, Charlie.
-[Kaija laughs]

Let's take them in, yeah?
Come on, ladies.

Welcome home!

They just feel like they've died
and gone to heaven with all this grass.

[Tom]
Yeah.

Look at this.

-[Kaija laughs] Aww.
-[Tom] Wow.

-[Kaija] They look beautiful in there.
-[Duke] Oh, yeah.

[Tom] And Charlie's not freaked out
in the slightest.

-Hi, Fanny.
-Come here, Fanny.

Hi. Hi, Fanny. Look at her go.

-[Duke] She's checking it out.
-[Tom] Hey.

Look at Kia go. Look at her go.
Look at her run! That's so funny.

-Look at her. Look how funny she is.
-[Lisa] Oh, she's the cutest.

[Tom] Great, so, you've got
the halter on Kia now.

[Kaija] Yes.

Now, if I were to take her
for a little walk, would she follow me?

-Yes, she'll follow you.
-Really?

So, this is actually the first time I've
ever walked around with a donkey.

You're doing great.

-Is this all right, to do this?
-[Lisa] Yes, absolutely.

Hey, come on.
It's like walking a giant dog.

-[Kaija] Yep.
-[Lisa] Yeah.

Yeah. Come on, Kia. Come on. Come on.

-She's pooping.
-Oh, okay.

-Is that your first poop?
-[Kaija laughs]

[Tom humming]

[Lisa] You'll wanna go
on the other side, Tom.

[Tom] What's that?

[Lisa] You'll wanna go on the other side
and pull her nose toward you.

[Lisa, Kaija laugh]

[Tom]
So, Fanny is...

[Lisa]
Fanny's well used to leading, so...

[Tom]
She likes this better than Kia.

[Lisa] She just knows it better than Kia.

I'm gonna turn around
and circle towards you.

You can see that she does that
very nicely. I can stop her.

Oop, oop.
I can ask her to back up. Back up.

Back up. Oh, yeah. Can I try?

You're gonna come around on my side.
Look straight ahead.

-Let's go. We'll walk along.
-And go.

[sing-song] Let's go for a little walk.
Walking is fun for everyone.

Let's go. Let's go here.
I want to show you the trough.

Come on, Kia.

I've got a nice trough for you here.
Okay, Fanny? Good. You're a good girl.

There. Oh, there we go.

[laughs]

You can lead a horse to water
and make it drink.

[chickens clucking]

[country music]

Fifty-two years old, making a radio show
by myself. Huh.

I like this kind of stuff, Charlie.
I like it.

This is how I have fun.
[sing-song] We're having fun.

Fancy lights. Come on. Ohh!

Testing, test...
Oh, we have liftoff. Hello!

First guest is here.

Okay, Graham, you can come on up.
How are you, Graham?

-Hello!
-Good to see you.

-It's good to see you, Tom.
-Good to see you. Come on in.

I saw you at the grocery store.
Now we're doing this.

Hello, and welcome to Tom Green Country.

Today on the show,
we have Graham MacSkimming,

Sasquotes: Wisdom of the Hairy People.

We're gonna have a fun show today.
Correct me if I'm wrong here.

You speak telepathically
with the sasquatch.

Yes, that's correct.

You're really speaking telepathically
with the sasquatch,

and then you've taken quotes from them
and created this book.

And we're gonna talk about that today.
Um, for real?

-That's right.
-How long have you been doing this,

and how did you realize
that was what was happening?

Since 2012. I was out in the yard,
and out of the blue,

there's this message
coming into my mind, and it's not from me.

Mm-hmm.

The individual said,

"I am from the people
that you have been observing."

[Tom]
Mm-hmm.

"You can call me Odin,"
the guy on the cover.

-Oh, that's Odin right there?
-Yeah.

Oh, I was wondering if that was Odin.

And he's got the most quotes in the book
out of anyone.

-Mm-hmm.
-And, um...

That's why he gets on the cover.

Yeah! He's the star.

And so what did they say to you?
You've got all these quotes in here.

I mean, I could just read some of them.
For example,

“There are as many hearts to conquer
as there are stars in the sky,”

Kathleen Ta of the Etakan Tatanta.

-You pronounced that perfectly, man.
-Thank you.

Like, nobody's been able to do that.

Thank you very much. I don't think
anyone's ever seen a Sasquatch before.

I have.

Is there a reason why you haven't
revealed them to the world,

or do they not want to be revealed,
do they not want to be known about?

They do want to be known.
Not all of them do.

Some of them are just, like,
you know, F-off, right? And...

-Have you ever asked them to meet you?
-Yes.

-And have you met them?
-Yes.

And have you gotten a photograph of them?

Uh, yes.

-And can I see it?
-Yes.

Right now?

-Uh...
-Is it on your phone?

On my website.

-You've got it posted on the website?
-Yeah.

So, why is the whole world not, you know,
talking about this right now?

'Cause unfortunately,
I had a really crappy camera.

Is this one here on the cover
of the book that you took?

Yeah. I really love that photograph.

Not the clearest photo,
but they never are.

-That was a real bummer.
-Yeah. No, for sure, yeah. Absolutely.

[country music]

[host] Guys, please,
warmly welcome to the stage, Tom Green.

-Let's hear it for Tom Green.
-[cheering and applause]

Just got a mule like a week ago,
and a donkey.

So, my life's changing, man.
You know what a mule is?

[woman]
Half horse, half donkey.

Half horse, half donkey. That's right.
Yeah. Her father was a donkey.

And her mother was a horse.

And human beings took
these two completely distinct species,

put them together, made them procreate,
and then created a mule.

It's a sick, perverted pet.

[crowd laughs]

That's pretty good.
It's like a Frankenhorse. Pretty cool.

They live to be 45 years old.
She's only ten.

So, I'm gonna have her
for the rest of my life.

Finally, I figured out
how to have a relationship that lasts.

[laughs]

Moved back to Canada, got the farm.
Living out on the farm now.

Don't have any kids. Just me...

and Loretta and Patsy and Shania and
Dolly June and Fanny, Kia, and Charlie.

Yeah. Nine ladies and myself.

[crowd laughs]

I'm like the Hugh Hefner of livestock.

[laughs]

Yeah. Thank you very much.
You guys have been awesome.

-[cheering and applause]
-Thank you, London. Good night, everybody.

[Tom] You're thinking that maybe
it might be good for me to try

taking a little walk up here
and see if Kia was okay with that?

Yeah.

You think I could do that
with Charlie as well?

I feel like you can.

Come on.

-[Kaija] It's perfect.
-[Lisa] Mm-hmm.

[Kaija]
Kia hasn't even noticed.

The Charlie-Fanny interaction
is happening nicely and quickly.

Want to have a look?

There you go.

Yummy!

Come on. Come on this way.
Come, come. Come here. Oh!

-[Kaija laughs]
-Oh, that's okay.

[nickers]

That's a happy mule sound.

[Tom]
Happy mule.

[bugs chirping]

[Tom]
What a day!

So, are you ready? We know
there's animals in them-there woods.

Let's see what happens.

So, this is when
we're setting up the trail cam.

-Yeah.
-Oh, there we go. Look at that!

[Brent] Apache deer.
It's losing its winter coat.

Oh, there's my dad walking
with his walking sticks.

Look, we got a wild Dick Green.

Oh, there's the... look at that deer.
It's a nice deer.

Oh, night shot. Oh!

[Brent]
Raccoon.

Raccoon. Wow,
we're getting some hits on this.

-Oh! Coyote?
-Back her up there, if you can.

There's a few things
we would look at in this photo.

So, one is the space between the ears.

Wolves have bigger bone structure,
wider skulls.

And there's actually a decent space
there. So, that's pretty good.

The other thing is how high the tail is
off the ground.

The coyotes aren't that tall,
and they have a pretty long, bushy tail.

So, the tip of the tail is often
very close to the ground.

In this case, the tail is still up
a good distance off the ground.

So, that's actually a pretty good
candidate for a wolf.

Porcupine, for sure.

-That's a porcupine, huh?
-Yeah.

Ooh. It's the first porcupine I've seen.

Yeah.

Oh! A bear!

-[Brent] Nice.
-[Tom] Wow!

-[Brent] Look at the feet on that.
-Wow!

-That's a nice shot.
-How big is that bear?

Well, it's a good size. I mean, again,
it looks almost as tall as the deer.

God, if he was walking
the other direction, that'd be cool.

-Right towards the camera?
-Maybe.

Ohh!

Now, that's a different bear.
See how fat that is?

That's a big bear that lives in the woods
that I walk in all the time.

-Whoa, that's a big bear!
-[Brent] Yeah.

I'm not going in the woods anymore.

So much fatter than that other one.

-Whoa, look at that! Wow!
-Yeah.

You gonna show your dad or not?

My dad probably won't care, actually.

A bear like that, if you're walking
through the woods and it hears you,

-it's gonna leave, right?
-Yeah, yeah.

That's the way my dad looks at it.
It's not necessarily the way I believe.

I believe if the bear's back there
and I'm walking in the woods,

the bear kills me and eats me.

No need for that victim mentality.

It starts by eating my liver
while I'm still alive.

Oh. What's this looking
right at the camera?

-Ohh!
-Or maybe it was him.

What was the time on that last one?
Back her up.

Is this within the same few minutes?

Yeah, it was.
So, it was the bear.

-That was the bear looking at the camera.
-Sniffing the camera.

So, you got the bear sniffing.

-How much do you think that weigh?
-I don't know, 250, maybe.

Wow!

Oh, looked right in the camera.
Glow-in-the-dark bum-hole.

-Yeah.
-Ooh, what's that?

-Now, that's big.
-So, is this a wolf?

It could be, yep.

Oh! Wow! Look at that bear shot.

Look at him!

Oh, it's a bear right up...

Oh, what's that?

See if you can pause that on the eye.

Look at that. That's
some friggin' horror movie type shit.

-Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh. Whoa, look at that!

Imagine if we got a mountain lion.

That would be cool.
I'd want that footage.

-It is possible, right?
-It's possible.

-[gasps] Bobcat!
-Bobcat. Yeah.

Have you had one before?

-Never. Wow!
-Yeah, that's cool.

Whoa!

Yeah, bobcat.

Wow, that was amazing.

That was quite something.

-That was amazing.
-Yeah.

I got to admit, I was not expecting
that many bears.

A lot of bears. A really cool bobcat.

Unbelievable. Right here.

-Right here. Yeah.
-Behind the house.

-In the woods.
-Yeah. It was great.

-Am I safe in those woods?
-You're safe. They want to avoid you.

Just keep a clean property. Don't have
any food out there for the bears.

-Maybe I'm the food.
-They're not interested in you.

Okay. Hey.

-Thank you, Brent. That's so cool, man.
-Yep. Yep.

Nice to hang out and fun to see
what wildlife you have here.

That is so cool.
I was expecting like a parade of bears.

It was like the entire Berenstain Bears
family walking through there.

[country music]

[playing chords on piano]

♪ Hello, Loretta ♪

♪ I'm gonna play some music for you ♪

♪ Yeah
Hello, Loretta ♪

-Oh, yeah.
-[chicken clucking]

♪ I'll play some music for you. ♪

Oh. There we go. Whoa.

A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

[country music]

Whoo! Yeah.

That's right.

♪ Heading home to the country
To a place I've always been ♪

♪ Goodbye, California
And all the things I've seen ♪

♪ Going back to Canada
To live my American dream ♪

♪ On a hundred acres
Where the grass is always green ♪

♪ Got me a mule named Fanny
She's a funny gal ♪

♪ Knows all your secrets
She will never tell ♪

♪ Can't live forever
So, tonight let's give 'em hell ♪

♪ Let's give 'em hell
I'll never tell ♪

♪ I'll never tell in the morning ♪

♪ About last night
We were rolling in the hay ♪

♪ Hay, hay, hay ♪

♪ I'll never tell in the morning ♪

♪ About last night when I told you
It's okay ♪

♪ It's gonna be okay ♪

♪ Spend the night with me ♪

♪ Won't you spend the night with me? ♪

♪ Heading home to the country
To a place I've always been ♪

♪ Goodbye, California
And all the things I've seen ♪

♪ Going back to Canada
To live my American dream. ♪