Original subtitles

the Savage Eye

travellers by cloud,

uneasy, grateful,

swung on a thread of exploding fire

they step down from heaven to the great foot-bound company of us all.

Alone, traveller?

Alone.

What's your name?

Judith.

Judith... what?

Judith Ex.

What's the "Ex"?

Ex McGuire. I'm divorced.

Alone, traveller?

Alone.

Why?

Because the touch of human skin makes me sick.

- What's his name? - Who?

Your ex-husband.

Fred McGuire.

How long did it last?

9 years 64 days.

- Children? - Killed.

Killed! How?

The usual way: rubber, miscarriage, misconception, and the knife.

Who are you?

I'm your angel, your double,

that vile dreamer: your conscience,

your god, your ghost.

Where are we going?

I don't much care.

To the past or the future?

To the seven layers of Troy? To London burning by war?

Or Rome of the circus and the catacombs?

To Athens? Los Angeles?

Cities in the moon?

Not hardly, I only paid $ 1,25 .

- You? - Yes?

Don't go away.

I had to divorce him, don't you see?

It was awful.

Fred in the office, Sunday afternoon,

and the green files ... locked.

And this woman,

locked, pressed, glued together, belly against belly, tongue against tongue.

I wanted to wish myself a million miles away...

Why?

Oh... the telephone,

and the kind relatives, and the sad hateful friends.

I ran away.

See nobody, talk to nobody.

And wait out my year of divorce, until it's done and finished.

And then?

Nothing.

- Know I wish ... - What?

I could be beautiful, perfect ...

Automatic, weather-proof ...

Painless.

And dead?

It's morning.

I know.

How many mornings?

A month. Two, three..

- What do you do? - When?

In the monochrome of morning?

And the long quiet drag of afternoon?

Nothing.

- Eating alone? Sleeping alone? - A pleasure!

February, March, April ...

I did my hair, I took my clothes to the laundromat.

April, May ...

I entered a puzzle contest: honourable mention!

They misspelled my name.

June, July,

August?

I bought me a car.

I was happy.

September?

Transmission trouble.

Bought me another.

- And then? - Nothing.

- And after that? - Nothing!

What's that?

An accident,

a crime.

Who cares?

You don't?

Nothing. Believe me.

As long as every month on the 1st and 15th I get the cheque.

Well ...

I'm no exception.

Half the women in this house live on bourbon, cottage cheese and alimony.

Even the cat is divorced.

If he'd only say:

"It was a crazy fit. It's over now."

If he'd only say:

"Today I strangled her,

"put her body in the upstairs closet.

"I'm on trial for murder, Judith.

"You're the only one I can trust.

"Come home.

"Come back."

If he'd only say:

"I'm coming, my dearest,

"wait for me."

But what did he really say?

He sent me his love ... air mail.

Painful, this year of divorce?

The first twelve months are the hardest.

Like a lunatic you endure the day with ceremony:

Manicure, pedicure, facial,

bowels, teeth and hair.

Yes, but it's more than that: I change.

I'm a good baby, oh so good.

And mama knows I'm good and she loves me and touches me.

Lovely to dream.

Paradise.

No hate, no love,

only skin and scalp and a dream.

How wonderful to be free the old animal to start from nowhere, like a child

all pink and powdery,

and grow a new body, new legs, new lips new measurements,

a new soul,

a two hour licence to dream,

and drift so high, so far away, so deep, so dark...

to rock and change,

and be born again.

False dream!

To break the prison of the body,

to be what you never were,

a dream of oils and unguents,

of tender metamorphoses,

a nicotine heaven, in the four winds of magic.

And what if the magic turns, as magic does,

into the cold, the painful and the fantastic?

A dream of chemical skin,

of love without sweat,

the perfection of immortal hair.

The vision that dreams of downtown voyages among all the cut-rate treasures of the word.

- Tell me, Judith... - What?

Tell me what they say?

Who?

Inside their heads. Tell me.

I'll try.

She's thinking about him, naturally.

"He hates me in purple, he hates me in red.

"Maybe he just hates me."

And this one?

"Two men in my life, ain't it funny? And all I wanted was a million dollars!"

"Denver, Colorado, I get more homesick the older I get."

"Him! His nose whistles. He says, allergies. He's got no allergies.

"What he's got is fallen arches. And if it's fallen arches, he's through, through!"

"Poor guy..."

And this one?

"Where's my mother?"

"She's lost again."

Now this one?

Myself?

Nothing!

Tell me the nothing.

Judith hates Judith.

Big joke!

Crazy ... crazy

Hardy Har Har.

The world is a howl.

The world's what you imagine.

These are your deities.

Bargain saints,

the infinite mercy of paper-mach�.

Mad world.

Mad Judith.

Now, here's my church.

I come here regular as prayer every Wednesday after lunch.

This here is our lucky spot

where one miserable stranger can meet with seven others,

and never be hurt.

Look at their hands, Judith.

Look at their hands.

Judith, tell me.

What?

Who are they?

Just plain folks.

Barbers on their day off,

people on the swing shift,

women on leave between husbands,

plumbers, salesmen, forgers, murderers.

Will you read their minds to me?

Go on.

They say, and I quote:

"If you got your money, and you got your health,

"what do you need somebody to love you."

The sun outside is like a block of stone.

Judith, what time is it?

Why, who cares?

2 o'clock.

An early dinner. Four hours to kill.

Now don't spoil my fun! I won at poker.

I'm due for a change, my number's coming up in heaven.

A disc-jockey will pick my face out of a phone book

I'll win a life-supply of dentifrice.

"Toothpaste" is so vulgar.

What time is it now?

5 past 2.

Why?

Do you hear it?

What?

The animal of time.

What do you want me to do?

Follow your thoughts. I'll go with you.

Look through your eyes.

And see what?

Virgins and mysteries,

the truth concealed in plaster.

I hate what you show me.

People waiting.

For what?

For someone. Anyone at all.

Simply to look at them.

In the noise of strangers the ache of the personal.

For a starry planet that loves or hates you.

For a listening heaven,

and your own name on the cosmic bell.

for something ... not nothing.

The word's divided into two classes:

those who're alive

and those who're afraid.

Salesmen of our own illusions,

attached to a green planet by the soles of our feet,

hairless animals, two billion by count,

condemned to be mortal,

and spasmodically hungry at both ends.

Pity the pets!

They bear more than their natural burden of human love.

[1948 Who is the most beautiful girl 1952 Charlie is Sammy - Marta - Eunice]

These flowers are yours, Judy

Corpse and mourner are all mixed up together,

crazy and tragic,

absurd and tender.

[Taffy ...]

Fred and me ...

right now, I wish he were dead

and I was looking down into his face.

No, not dead,

but hurt.

As bad as the way I feel inside.

No.

No, Fred, know what? ...

take it back. Don't believe me, God!

I don't want him hurt.

No matter what he's doing, or where he's been going,

I forgive him.

And forgive the woman too.

As you forgive yourself?

Call him up.

- I can't. - Try.

Suppose he won't answer?

It's a test.

And if he does?

Tell him exactly how you feel.

That I hate him, profoundly?

And miss him, desperately?

Yes.

If only he'll say the right word.

Judith?

You've betrayed me. He's happy.

He's getting married. I know the girl and I know how she got him.

Bed, and the moisture of beds, the taste of hair.

Are we looking at the same world?

The terrible salt of the human touch.

These are fat men wrestling for money.

Their ecstasy is mine!

- Phonies! - So am I!

I've changed. I'm wise.

I don't sit home anymore. I date, I go out, I get kicks.

I get laughs.

And suppose as you watch you see real blood on the phony track?

He'd jump for joy!

Now who's this?

A friend.

- I don't like him. - Neither do I.

But he's generous, shaves twice a day,

feeds me 5 $ steaks.

- Judith ... - Married, naturally.

Why do you go?

Revenge.

Ready to leave?

Yes.

I don't want to go home.

Not with him.

Scared?

Terrified.

Why?

I'm not the one he thinks I am.

You're so sure?

I don't happen to have those big monstrous stupid double features,

Ugly, full of imaginary milk.

Too real to be true.

These are women invented by men.

Nobody ever got pregnant that way.

And so, to bed.

Alone?

Alone.

[Near 'n far]

[Burlesque]

Christmas coming. The stores have parades.

And so do I. Three dates a week.

Always stay technically pure, I'm an expert at that.

I celebrate just so far, and no further.

New Year's party.

Pigs with clothes,

who for one minute anyway love one another.

All I see is people trying to be cheerful.

New Year's morning.

I knew I was lost.

We drove to my place.

He opened the door.

I did nothing.

I sat on a chair, shivering.

He made coffee,

and turned out the light.

Were you sad?

No. I turned off the key in my head.

It was all mechanical.

I opened the window.

He left.

There was a siren rising and falling.

The sky smelled of cigars and coffins.

I was 1000 years old.

Zero.

Zero.

No one loves no one.

You? Are you there?

Help me.

Answer me.

I despise your one-track pity.

Cold, I'm cold.

Stretch out our fingers.

Your friends are here.

Nobody I know.

The shufflers,

the frauds,

the whores, whispering and invisible,

vendors and detectives,

the volunteers of darkness,

on parole from death or jail.

Your blind company,

secret and vague,

searching the stone libraries for the green page of illusion.

That's all.

Now let me alone,

let me sleep.

No.

I want you to feel the agony of comprehension.

A quick drink, a quick drag, a shot of something to kill the taste.

Hungry for kisses, for talk, for the inside scorch of alcohol,

for the endless washing of the lips, the tongue, the palate, the throat, the stomach and the bladder.

They want to be beautiful, anaesthetized and happy.

They want to be laved and loved,

like you.

On the morning of the 6th day,

the stars declined, and the sun rose.

And out of a handful of fire and dust, garbage and alcohol,

God created man.

He made a big mistake.

� and now the last verse "To the old rugged cross"

� Oh the old rugged cross

� so despised by the world ...

It's Sunday morning.

I know.

You took a shower?

Twice.

You washed the bathroom, the kitchenette and the ashtrays?

- And now the car. - Why?

I've got a sin that won't wash off.

The slime of loveless love.

Masturbation by proxy.

So many things ... Lord we're asking you that you'll heal this arthritis

and all this affliction that's come upon her, Lord.

Oh God, heal her Lord! in Jesus' blessed name!

Thank you, Father! Thank you, Lord!

Amen. Mother what's the matter, can't hardly walk.

- Arthritis. - Arthritis again.

You know we believe God's gonna heal you of that thing

The Lord will just touch in these arthritis cases Lord and ask of you ???

that shall bring deliverance we pray, oh God in Jesus' name.

Thank you, Father, Lord, heal the spine

in Jesus' precious, holy name. Thank you Father.

Lord, bless you child, we're gonna stand by you

turn your conflict into the Virgin. ???

Glory to God, sister ... Amen ... let Him bless you.

Let him bless you, glory be to God. Amen.

Stand along, pray a little bit before you go away, don't be in a hurry.

What's the matter, child?

I fell about five weeks ago and hurt my leg.

Fell down, hurt your leg.

It got torn up pretty badly, it just refuses to heal.

All right, refuses to heal, but Jesus can make it heal.

Everyone pray now, Lord

and pray that your touch, ??? Lord in Jesus' names

Oh God, heal and pray

Heal her, Lord.

Bless her, Jesus.

Hear this earnest prayer, Lord.

- Amen. - Thank you Jesus.

Well you just walk off there now. Stand down there somewhere and keep praying.

- What's the matter? - High blood pressure?

The Lord listen now

Dear Jesus, dear Jesus

Bring and deliver us now, Father, now, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord.

Amen. Yes my dear, what's the trouble?

I want an self taken out, all doubt and everything, then I'll know I'll be healed.

She said "I want all self and doubt taken out, then I know I'll be healed"

that's a mighty good thing, let's all pray that prayer.

Lord, we pray now that you'll destroy... ???

that she become partaken of the Divine nature and that she shall be delivered

in Jesus' precious wholly righteous name. Glory be to God.

Thank you, Jesus

Amen

Amen amen amen amen

Just go pray some more till God burns it all out of you.

Amen. What's the matter, child?

Liver trouble, well God, heal you now.

Lord heal her now, heal her now, Jesus,

Heal her now, Lord, heal her now, while we're praying

while we're praying, Lord

Thank you, Jesus, God bless you.

And... my little boy ran away

We prayed for that prayer for you last night. God bless you, mother.

My own mother went through it and I know what it is.

- Yes mother, what's the trouble? - My eyes.

Lord, keep her eyes going as long as she has to live.

Be down here, Lord, and pray thee, touch her eyes

so she won't go blind, so as long as she's down here she can see the way.

the Lord, let him bless you now

He can give you new eyes, new eyes

new eyes, God bless you, child.

new eyes. you want to pray a while?

- What's the matter? - Weakness and nerves

Alright, everybody pray for this weakness, Lord! Touch her, we pray.

Sister, God can help you

That's it. praise him.

Let Him bless you, let him lift you up now. He'll heal your nerves.

Amen.

Find a place to pray. What's the matter, sister, dear?

A glaucoma in your eyes?

Enlarged heart.

Lord, fix her up please, dear Jesus.

Fix the poor child up, Lord, give her back her eyes so she can see, Lord

and destroy this glaucoma

God's gonna help you, child.

God's gonna help you, child.

God's gonna heal ya

God's gonna heal ya

- Glory be to God. - Thank you.

God's gonna heal ya.

God's gonna give you a new toe! Lord in Jesus' name.

Thank you Father, thank you Lord.

Amen, God bless you!

all right, we expect that now, Lord, Jesus

Just well, heal the bone of her foot.

Is there anything else? Glory to God.

Thank you, Jesus. God bless you, child.

Thank you, Jesus. God bless the child

Oh hallelujah.

Amen. God bless you

Go on in and pray some more.

A fractured right ankle and sinus trouble.

Sinus trouble and a fractured right ankle.

Lord you can heal bones, you've done it for others.

Now we pray to touch her and this sinus trouble ...

Commend it to leave.

in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Don't be in a hurry. Let him bless you, let him heal you.

Let him heal you, glory be to God.

Bless her Lord.

Alleluia, strengthen her Lord.

Strengthen her Jesus, strengthen her Father.

My, he's done something for you. stand over and praise the Lord.

Lord Jesus touch this inward goitre.

Amen and make a new woman of her.

New woman.

That we command that thing to come out of this throat, in the name of the Father...

Feeling no pain.

I never knew that death had no pain.

Sleep,

enormous mother of us all,

say yes.

Yes.

My mother's name was Mary-Elizabeth...

Mary-Elizabeth...

lean over me.

Oh mama, where's my pretty ring?

Floating ...

it's floating down to the bay where the child lies,

drowned and punished.

In my uncle's coat, long ago, that blew off the pier, at the picnic

sinking down, all Sunday long.

And summer letters, faded in the sand.

And the salt of soft waters,

and the lost harmonica.

The house where they held me was full of waves.

Hospital? Hell? Or heaven?

The burning sea came up over my mouth.

I was drawn up, I was rescued,

they fed me with blood and air.

They forced me to live.

Diving, fainting, I slept through floods of unwilling fire,

waking at last in horrible afternoons, nightmares of truth.

And the grown-up party I watched from the shadowy stairs and...

imagined afterwards myself all woman, and one part man.

Oh, mama,

mama ...

Was it sin? Or ceremony?

Cloud? Or curtain?

Room or door?

Who burns here?

Who trembles?

Who's cold as wind?

Who cries out lonely on the naked mountain of love?

Or...

Who falls upward into a sun of blood?

Fluid into fluid.

They come to lift me.

Lovers without names to touch and take me.

Were you rolled last night, stone drunk in a chippy's crib?

I want to see the red-head tattooed on your bones.

Heart to heart,

a friendship of blood.

You ...

I love you.

I love you too,

poet and paranoid,

ex-barber,

ex-bartender, hooker,

boxer,

homeless man.

I love you.

Open for me the lips of your secret hate,

your great poison will feed me.

Since I must breathe your blood:

give me the stain of your sweat,

and the spine of your courage,

to say no to nothingness.

Oh Father in Heaven,

the only obscenity is death.

In a bed four-cornered as a grave, I dream of resurrection in a party dress.

And love is gone

and I must follow ...

I must follow my dreams wherever they end.

I must walk among my dead thoughts,

these poor effigies of myself,

these murdered eyes which are my parents,

my mausoleum of the unliving.

My mirror face in the exploding room,

me,

myself.

man, woman or ambiguous child.

False tassle or false testicle.

The lonely masochist screaming to be hurt.

The camp of the unhappy, they're all stronger than I.

Whoever dances is at least alive.

I am he.

I live in this mortal cage.

The animal is me.

I must be merciful before I can be happy.

I must be sick before I can be real.

I must be false

before I can chose.

My dreams are my own.

I must draw myself up.

I must chose: sleep and the abyss,

or the shock of the living sea.

I grow well.

I grow younger.

My father's hand that gives me magic money, vanishes in the sea.

I see eternity as a toy.

I grow up slowly.

I have a doll.

I have a friend.

They're the same person.

And I give each wave a private name.

Judith?

You?

How are you?

Alive.

I feel the cool of the sea.

Judith, do you remember?

I do.

I fall in love as I lie here with people I'll never know.

- With the arsonist? - Yes.

With the maniac? The rapist?

Yes.

- The self-made saint? - Yes.

With the troubled man who lies quiet at last in the great patience of blood?

Yes.

Oh! His hand opens for me!

What if it doesn't?

It opens for everyone.

We're all secret lovers of one another.

This girl too?

Pain is hideous.

Judith, look:

the immense undiscovered planet of the human face.

Hideous and strong.

And sometimes, beautiful?

You, stripper and teaser ...

Venus out of the sea, with sea-struck hair.

Cry love, Venus !

Jokes, madness, filth,

divinity, desire!

The world, a melting world.

I'll come to the world like a bride, and a stranger.

A small cry in the crystal of space.

Listen!

You're not listening? Do you hear them?

They're far away.

Tell me.

I'll try.

He says: "What did you think about?"

And she: "When?"

And he:

"You know when."

And she:

"Roses."

Amen...

the End

Engl. subtitles: serdar202@KG 2016