Original subtitles

It's a new life for two girls named Brady.

We'll have death of fun to make it on.

and he's not going to be stopped by a deadbeat.

That's deadbolt.

This lock is a deterrent.

That's right.

Like some people feel leaving the lights on is a deterrent.

Wally doesn't feel that's a deterrent at all.

In fact, he kind of likes it.

We're not talking about the bedroom.

You weren't, but I was.

All the same, there have been a lot of burglaries in the area.

Well, that's why Mom and Alice wanted us to join the neighborhood watch.

Well, then, at least we can do our part.

There. That'll do it.

What a man. What a man.

Now neither man nor beast can get through our doors.

This is huge.

You're breaking a door. Okay.

What is this?

Isn't she beautiful?

She's a she?

I'd like you to meet Gladys.

What's this big gorilla doing here anyway?

Well, he lives here, remember?

Incorporated, and they want my company, Tyler Toys, to distribute them.

They gave me this sample.

That's a sample? What does the regular size look like?

Well, I'd like to meet Marcia, my wife, Jan, my sister -in -law.

important things to do.

You don't consider Gladys important?

No.

That's not fair.

Wally's work is just as important as yours, mine, or Jan's.

Philip, didn't you ever have a toy when you were growing up?

When I was seven, I got a slide rule.

Now, that was a lot of laughs. Boy, the first time I used it, you know, you

could do all kinds of different things.

Kids around this country are going to love Gladys. You will, too, as soon as

get used to her.

Get used to her?

Gladys sound permanent.

Relax. I just brought her home for consultation purposes.

My associate's coming by. Wait.

I'm bringing Professor Thompson home tomorrow. I'm being considered for a

postgraduate grant.

I don't want Professor Thompson to think I'm living in Lion Country Safari.

Relax. The professor will never even notice.

Won't notice a gorilla in the living room?

Trust me. She'll just blend in.

What do you suggest we do? Put a light bulb in her mouth and call her a floor

lamp?

Oh, great.

Now, wait, wait. This will be a test case, okay?

I'll prove it to you.

What's what? This.

That? This.

Oh, that.

Note, she noticed.

Well, of course I noticed. I'm Alice. I notice everything.

Especially huge things when she's thrown over.

Well, that's just a gorilla.

A gorilla?

well get the uh the whole effect now

that is a gorilla that is no little monkey that is a big stop

her name is gladys and she's really very nice just don't

press her nose what happens if i press her nose oh come on what can i

At least Harry has to.

That's why I use him.

I told you I don't want you on the streets after dark.

Professor Thompson home this afternoon.

Gladys had better be moved out.

You know, that postgraduate grant really is important to Philip. We agreed to

move Gladys out last night.

Remember?

Last night, you agreed to move Gladys out.

Yeah. I also remember how you convinced me.

Wait just one minute.

Just one minute.

Come in, Professor.

I was just checking to see if anyone or anything was home.

Nice house coming to you.

Precisely. My wife's sister and her husband share the house with us.

That's unusual.

Oh, no, no, not at all. We're very rational people.

Well, the watchword for today is rationality.

Oh, you won't find anybody more rational than we are.

May I take your coat? Oh, please.

gorillas would be the last group to come out of the closet.

And I thought living with you would be difficult. I was wrong.

It's impossible.

Thank you.

So, you see, even the smallest girl can protect herself against a mugger.

Okay, let's try it.

Now, Marsha, you be the mugger. Jan, you be the muggy. Okay.

Okay, Marsha, come toward Jan.

sister, Marcia.

Come on, Marcia, be serious.

Now, Jan, the pamphlet says turn, okay?

And here's what you do.

Okay, now, move back just a little bit. Okay. Perfect. Okay, now place your

hands together.

hands too?

Sure. If you want to take anything, go

ahead. Just leave us alone.

You, uh, you're the only ones in the house?

Well, we do have... Uh, yeah. Yeah, you guessed it.

Just me and my wife living here alone.

Just the two of us all by ourselves.

Sure, it gets lonesome sometimes, but that's the way we like it.

of your friends.

Excuse me, if I may interject here, he's no longer a burglar, he's a robber.

According to the dictionary, burglary is the act of breaking into a house to

commit a felony.

Once he encountered us, then it became a robbery because there's victims

involved. What's the difference, burglary or robbery?

Either way, we're getting ripped off.

There's a big difference, Wallace.

I'll remember that next time I'm robbed by an ancient Roman.

Okay, okay, okay, hold it. Now look, school's out.

Everybody into the closet. Come on, move it, move it.

That's not very smart. It would be far more rational if we stayed out here so

could show you where the valuables are.

We don't have anything that's valuable.

Except Gladys and your fish.

Coracea serratus. Ah, that sounds pretty expensive to me, all right. See, I knew

these fishies were worth something.

Mr. Thompson read about how he captured the burglar in the school newspaper, and

he decided to consider me for a new research grant.

So everything turned out for the best.

What is the new research about?

Home crime detection devices.

No, I was thinking about something about, oh, seven feet tall and all

covered with hair.

Travis once played one of Martha Brady's cheerleader friends?

It happened in a very bizarre episode of Day by Day, which turns into a very

bizarre episode of The Brady Bunch. Stay tuned.

This rarely seen episode is coming up next on the Wonders of TV Land.

Don't touch that dial.