All language subtitles for The Brady Brides s01e02 Living Together

It's a new life for two girls named
Brady who have left the bunch to make it

their own.

Only temporarily.

For the next 20 years.

Why don't you take a look around? I have
to lock up and check the backyard and

the garage.

Well, take your time. We're waiting for
Jan anyway.

You know, you know I love Jan.

But why is it so important for your
sister to help us find an apartment?

Well, you don't understand sisters.

It's something I do for her and she does
for me.

It's called meddling.

Hi.

Hi. Wow, what a pretty house. Oh, it's
great.

It's terrific.

Please, I'm an architect. Let me give
you the technical term.

Fabulous. Mom and Wally should be back
soon. Do you want to look around?

Sure. Do you think we should?

No, but let. Okay.

The kitchen's this way, I think.

It's got every modern convenience.

This washer and garbage disposal built
-in oven.

Julia Child could go wild.

It even has a wine rack.

Betty Crocker could get cropped.

Want to check out the bedrooms?

Yeah. This way. This is just the kind of
house Phillip and I would like to own

someday. Yeah, Wally and I were saying
the same thing. And instead of paying

rent for an apartment, you'd have
something.

Yeah, well, Mom and I were talking about
it, and with Wally's job at Tyler Toys

and mine at Casual Clothes. But if you
put that together with Phillip's

at the college and my... salary, even
though it's just my first year as an

architect. Tim, that is an incredible
idea. I mean, it's the only way two

couples could afford a house. It would
be perfect. Your bedroom would be

perfect. I mean, I've always... What do
you think? The same thing you're

thinking, only I'm thinking it more. I
mean, this is the only way that we can

afford it. It would be perfect.

It's perfect.

I love everything.

I do, too.

Ready to go?

No. We're ready to stay.

It would be perfect.

Hold it.

Hold it. Can you take it down to 33 and
a third?

And then try it one at a time?

Mother, remember how you were saying
that Wally and I couldn't afford a place

like this yet? Phillip and I couldn't
either. But if we shared the house, we'd

have four salaries coming in.

That is, if it's legal. Oh, it's legal.
Willowbrook sold several that way.

Well, how about making some close
relatives your next customers?

Oh, that sounds great!

I have anything to say about all this?

Well, depends on what you're going to
say.

I love it.

Why do I have to be blindfolded? We want
you to get the whole effect all at

once. Step.

That's crazy.

It's childish.

This whole idea is rash, irresponsible,
and foolhardy. No, no, no, honey,

please, not yet. You're right, Jan, he's
stubborn.

You know, Marsha, a lot of people say
I'm stubborn, but they're all wrong.

I'm not stubborn.

Permanently determined, maybe, but not
stubborn.

Voila!

It's a house.

Very nice house. It's a house that the
four of us can buy together.

Think of the advantages. It's a great
idea.

I hate the idea.

Give it a chance.

Can't we at least start to talk about
it, Phil? Philip, Philip.

Thanks. Philip, I'm telling you. Buying
this house is a wonderful idea.

Living with one person is difficult. Two
couples living together? That's

impossible. It's wonderful.

It's impossible.

Wonderful. Impossible. Wonderful.
Phillip, let's negotiate.

If Wally comes down from wonderful to
not bad, will you come up from

to eh?

In all fairness, Phillip, you could at
least look at the rest of the house.

Okay.

I'm looking at the rest of the house.

Built -in bookcases. Lots of closet
space.

Rack and pinion steering.

Nice kitchen.

Good -sized bedroom. Wonderful
bookcases.

Isn't it great? Yeah.

Excellent foreplay. Then give us one
good reason why we can't all buy this

together. In alphabetical order?

Okay.

A for aquarium. What happens when I
bring in my tropical fish aquarium?

I take care of the fish. I raise them. I
baby them. I clean the tank.

And you'll be looking at them without
doing anything for them.

We won't look at them. We promise. We
don't even like tropical fish.

I don't know if I could live with anyone
that doesn't like tropical fish.

He was just saying that. We like
tropical fish. We love tropical fish.

promise we won't look at them. What
about parrots?

Do you like parrots?

We love parrots. We're crazy about
parrots.

I hate parrots.

Look, we don't even have a parrot. You
might get one. You know, people that are

crazy about parrots might get one. Then
what would I do?

Honey, don't you think we can work it
out? It's simply not rational.

For once in your life, throw ration to
the wind. For once in your life, don't

practical.

I've told you before, I am rational, not
practical.

Where can I work on my scientific
experiments?

I need peace and quiet. Where is the
privacy?

That's just being practical.

As practical as you can be.

Practical, practical, practical.

Stop it. I can be just as impractical as
anyone. Then buy the house. Or if you

had the papers right here in front of
me, I'd show you how impractical I can

Have I been had?

Not until you sign here.

water, Marsha?

Over by the coffee table. I don't see no
coffee table.

You see a coffee table, Frank?

I don't see a coffee table, unless it's
made of glass.

I'll tell you what.

This is a good place for a coffee table.

Roger.

Nice place, Marsha.

Thanks, Maxie. I really appreciate... I
appreciate you moving my things and

Wally's things for the same price.

Hey, listen, it's the least we could do
for somebody who works in the next

building. Right, Frank?

No, the least we can do is move the rest
of the stuff in here.

Come on.

Right in here, fellas.

Oh, no, look at all this other stuff.

I tried to tell you, lady, we've already
moved in three loads today.

Where am I going to put it all?

You don't put.

You point.

We put.

can't get to the phone right now.

Oh, yes.

You got here all right?

Oh, yes.

Well, we appreciate the furniture.

We really do.

It, um, fits right in.

Thank you.

Bye.

Well, that explains some of the
furniture explosion.

Hi, honey. I'm home.

Hi, Wally.

Hi. Keep talking. I'll try to zero in on
your voice.

Hi, Jan.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

I am so sorry I didn't straighten up. I
just didn't have time.

Should I ask what's new?

With your stuff and my stuff and
Marsha's stuff and Phillip's stuff and

from our folks and stuff from your folks
and stuff from Phillip's folks.

No wonder this place got so stuffed.

Hi, honey.

Jan, are you in there? We're toward the
dining room.

Maybe I better go on back and come in
through the kitchen.

No, there are three refrigerators
blocking the door.

Just follow the path Wally made.

I should have dropped bread crumbs.

Can't we get rid of some of this
clutter?

Yeah, which is the clutter?

Anything that isn't mine.

Careful, honey.

I made it. Yeah.

We have got to get rid of some of this.

Not right away.

I'm dead set against getting rid of
anything right away.

Why? Well, you never know when you're
going to need something.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Yes, we're all home.

Who are you?

Miss Fritzinger, your neighbor.

Your door's open. Can I come in?

If you can.

We really shouldn't leave the door open.
Somebody might take something.

Who'd notice?

Hello.

Hi. Oh, watch yourself. Hello,
everybody.

Hi, Miss Fritzinger.

I live right across the street.

We're the Logans. I'm Marcia. And Wally.
I'm Jan Brady Covington. Philip

Covington III.

We just moved in. That's why things were
a little untidy, Mrs. Fritzinger.

That's Miss Fritzinger. And that's by
choice.

since men have only one thing on their
mind.

Charles and I, uh, Charles is my
brother, we own our own home together.

Now, whose home is this? Uh, you and
you, or you and you?

All of us.

Isn't it terrific?

Seems a bit odd to me.

We have a very respectable neighborhood
here.

You young people obviously go on
furniture -buying binges.

That may very well indicate a life of
excesses.

First it's too much furniture, and then
it's too much... I'd rather not say.

Thank you for the warning. I leave now.

I just wanted to welcome you all to the
neighborhood.

Thanks. Thank you.

Oh! If there's anything you want to know
about your neighbors, I can tell you.

Or if I can't, I can find out.

Goodbye. Bye.

As we were saying before, Mrs.

Spritzinger. Yes, Spritzinger.

Yeah. We have to decide which furniture
to get rid of.

The modern stuff.

I thought you left.

I took a wrong turn.

Could have been right by the ottoman and
left by the nightstand.

There's the door.

It's simple. It's what furniture fits
this particular house.

I think this house has an early American
feeling.

You have to admit, our things are
classic.

Oh, so are the Roman ruins, but I
wouldn't want them in our living room.

Oh, yeah, well, there's a lot more...
comfortable than those modern chairs of

yours. Fair information, Jan. Those are
coffee tables. Wait a minute. It's

impossible. I warned you. I warned you.
I warned you. Thank you, Paul Revere.

Let's face it. This isn't an argument
about end tables.

If we can't agree about furniture, we'll
never be able to agree about other

things. Important things.

We've agreed on a lot of things.

It's no use. It'll be like this about
everything.

Money, politics, who takes out the
garbage, what to watch on television.

No, that's easy. We'll spend an
enjoyable evening watching The Wonderful

of Geranium.

Well, that'll be better than the Super
Bowl of Mud Wrestling.

What's wrong with the Super Bowl of Mud
Wrestling?

Hey, wait a minute, you guys. No, come
on. No, please. What if there's a fire?

He'll run back to save his beer can
collection. I would not.

I'd run back in to watch a fish boil.

Come on, Jan.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where are
we going? Home.

Home? You are?

What's the big deal? It's two in the
morning. Nobody's up.

But you're naked.

I always sleep with my clothes off.
Well, I know that better than anybody,

but... So what's the problem?

Well, what if Jan wakes up and comes in
here?

First of all, this is our house just as
much as it is theirs, and we should be

able to walk around any way we like.

And secondly, I'm not stopping Jan from
walking around in the nude.

Marsha?

It's Jan.

It's Jan.

He's getting a glass of milk. Two in the
morning?

I just had this sudden craving for milk,
you know? Just this sudden craving.

Marsha, you're not... No, of course not.
We just got married, silly.

I know, but... No, I'm not.

Tell her the truth.

Wally. Wally?

Yes, that's Wally.

But don't go in there.

What's going on? Well, he's in the
kitchen, naked.

Why?

He always sleeps naked. In the kitchen?

Uh, well, you see, uh... All I wanted
was a glass of milk. I didn't think

anybody'd be up.

Are you shocked?

No. Lots of people drink milk.

Well, I'm talking about the way he's
dressed.

I mean, not dressed.

Undressed.

I know what you mean. A lot of people
sleep in the nude.

Not Philip, of course.

Will you ladies stop with the chit
-chat? This linoleum is getting cold.

I better make sure Philip is asleep.

No telling how I'd react to a thing like
this.

Marcia. Hi.

2 .06 in the morning.

I was just... Getting a glass of milk.

I was helping her.

You were helping her get a glass of
milk.

What's going on?

The truth is... The truth is... The
truth is... The truth

is... I was in the kitchen.

You came in here to get some milk like
that?

This is not mine.

I was in the bath.

I don't know which I prefer.

Well, let's suppose that I would like to
wear this. This is our house, just the

same as it is yours, and I have every
right to wear whatever I would like to

wear whenever I would like to wear it.

We all have our fantasies.

Why don't we all go back to bed? Good
night.

That is not going to solve the problems
of this house.

We have differing lifestyles. You like
to play Mozart softly.

I like to play music with a beat, nice
and loud.

We're not talking about music, it's
lifestyles.

Like your decision to turn this house
into a nudist colony.

comfortable. But what if seeing Wally in
the nude makes us feel uncomfortable?

Right. I didn't know we were living with
Playgirl's Mr.

July.

I'll get it.

Don't answer that.

It's my house. I'll get it if I want to.

Coming.

Do come in.

Miss Fritzinger.

We were just having a little discussion.

Would you care to join us? I heard some
very loud music, and at this hour, so I

knew that I had to be wearing an apron.

Yes. Yes, do you like it?

Well, yes.

Thank you.

We were discussing personal freedom.

Yeah.

That takes care of her.

Now, As we were saying.

Good night, Miss Fritzinger.

This is not working. It's just not
working. We've got to end this.

End what?

It's not that simple.

Marsha and I are sisters.

We bought this place together.

We've got to make it work.

Can't we compromise?

Compromise? What kind of compromise?

Go naked Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?

As far as I'm concerned, I don't really
care what you do on your side of the

house. You do what you want over here,
and let us do what we want over there.

You mean some kind of a separation?

No, I mean a divorce.

You know, Philip, I was hoping all this
tape would be gone. It's so childish.

It's not childish. It's the reason why
countries have borders. It ensures

friendly relations.

Too bad my passport expired.

What is all this stuff, anyway?

The scientific experiment I'm working
on.

Here? In the living room?

On our half.

Smell eggs.

Rotten eggs.

What you smell is sulfur.

Morning. Morning.

Ah, you made eggs.

No, Philip made sulfur.

Right here in the living room.

Well, at least it's on our side.

I am a scientist.

I have to experiment.

Would you have asked Enrico Fermi to
move his atom bomb?

Out of the living room? Yeah.

Don't tell me. Dr.

Frankenstein dropped in.

What have you made us for breakfast,
Master Phil?

Philip. Oh, Philip.

Philip made scrambled sulfur.

Can't you smell it?

We agreed to split the house in half.

You'd better just keep your nose
pollution on your side.

That's Philip's work. He has the right
to work at home if he wants to.

I'll get it.

Just stay on your side.

You'll smell stuff.

Coming.

It is Miss Fritzinger and an officer.

And they're on your side.

I hardly recognize you without your
apron. Thank you.

Folks, Miss Fritzinger has lodged
another of her complaints.

Now, at the station, we consider her to
be a very concerned citizen.

Thank you, Officer DeMille.

I knew I smelled something. Look at
that. They are making drugs.

Probably STP.

And I bet they're selling it at
kindergartens during recess.

And last night, this one, this one was
wearing an apron.

An apron?

Book him on a morals charge.

That's a 613. Oh, and throw in a 752.
That's a drug bust for good measure.

bust.

Officer Dumont, this is going to get you
a promotion.

I'm grateful, Miss Fritzinger.

What is this stuff, anyway? We're in a
residential zone.

This stuff, as you called it, is
hydrogen sulfide, a common gas which is

sometimes released by the oxidation of
bituminous carbon.

Wait a minute.

Do you realize what Philip is doing?

This experiment might very well make a
better world for us all.

Miss Fritzinger, anyone who would
complain about Philip Covington III

probably thrown Dr. Jonas Salk out on
his vaccine.

Thank you, Wally.

Don't thank me.

Thank you.

Thank him.

Thank you, Doctor.

Keep up the good work.

And, Miss Pritzinger, for your
information, a 752 is no parking near a

hydrant.

Well, they probably do that, too.

Oh, well, do not think that you can fool
over a Pritzinger.

You probably wore clothes because you
knew I'd be around.

Miss Fritzinger, this is our home, and
we can dress any way we choose.

Any time we choose, right.

There are standards.

Exactly. And in this house, we set the
standards.

Wally can dress any way he likes.

I can dress any way I like.

Maybe that's your problem, is that to
me?

That was so funny!

Do you realize your pants are still
down?

And do you realize there is still tape
dividing this household?

doesn't have to be let's get rid of it
yeah you

go that way

Tomorrow night, make sure you're back
here for more of Nick at Night's Bunch

Brady. A one week and one week only
salute to everything Brady.

Or as the French might say, tout le
chose Brady.

Including two classic episodes of the
Brady Bunch. Plus specials, spin -offs,

and much more.

Tomorrow night, starting at 8, 7
central, on Nick at Night's Bunch of

Now stay tuned, because the doctor is
in. On the Bob Newhart Show, next on

at Night.