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1
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,093
Previously, on
"SUREALESTATE"...
2
00:00:09,195 --> 00:00:10,711
We stole her from
Livingston‐Kent.
3
00:00:10,796 --> 00:00:12,156
Bob Livingston fired me.
4
00:00:12,241 --> 00:00:13,558
I pushed him back
into the arms of his wife.
5
00:00:13,642 --> 00:00:15,734
You should have pushed
him into a woodchipper.
6
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:18,196
She spent eight years straight
in the Platinum Ring of Esteem.
7
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,364
What's the
Platinum Ring of Esteem?
8
00:00:19,448 --> 00:00:23,201
It's just this club for people
who do ten million dollars
9
00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:25,337
in volume over a
12‐month period.
10
00:00:25,421 --> 00:00:28,840
The world always assumes that
people who investigate heresies
11
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:30,241
must be heretics.
12
00:00:30,325 --> 00:00:31,876
I would remind you
of the Travis house.
13
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,812
Those things,
they can hurt you.
14
00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:35,280
They are dangerous.
15
00:00:35,364 --> 00:00:36,665
[ Screaming ]
16
00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:38,817
♪ Gentle music ♪
17
00:00:38,901 --> 00:00:40,502
[ Elevator arriving chime ]
18
00:00:43,372 --> 00:00:44,740
[ August sighs ]
19
00:00:49,211 --> 00:00:50,646
Post‐mortem in five, kids.
20
00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:55,351
[ Bag down ]
21
00:00:57,553 --> 00:00:59,170
What exactly
was that thing?
22
00:00:59,254 --> 00:01:00,105
[ Sigh ]
23
00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:01,406
We call it
a Roadie.
24
00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:03,308
We're going to cover
it all in the wrap‐up.
25
00:01:03,392 --> 00:01:04,760
Those poor people.
26
00:01:05,561 --> 00:01:07,178
Nearly killed each other.
27
00:01:07,262 --> 00:01:08,731
Speaking of
near‐death experiences,
28
00:01:09,631 --> 00:01:11,449
tomorrow night is
the big night.
29
00:01:11,533 --> 00:01:14,085
Platinum Ring of Esteem
annual banquet.
30
00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:15,504
Prom with business cards.
31
00:01:17,406 --> 00:01:19,324
We mock what we
do not understand.
32
00:01:19,408 --> 00:01:20,358
Seriously, though.
33
00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:23,395
Lifetime Achievement Award
at your tender age.
34
00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:25,597
Some of us choose to
measure our lives in closings
35
00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:27,383
rather than years.
36
00:01:30,919 --> 00:01:32,521
Look, sorry, Anthony. Um...
37
00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:34,873
[ Sighs ]
38
00:01:34,957 --> 00:01:36,574
No, that's great.
39
00:01:36,658 --> 00:01:38,476
Yes, no, thank you
for cleaning the house.
40
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,811
I'm sure the
adoption agency people
41
00:01:39,895 --> 00:01:41,897
are going to be very impressed.
42
00:01:42,231 --> 00:01:45,283
Ah, just one more quick meeting
and then I'll be home.
43
00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:47,152
I'll heat it up.
44
00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,421
God, Anthony, it's a meatloaf,
not a donor organ.
45
00:01:49,505 --> 00:01:51,156
It'll keep.
46
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,541
Yes, okay.
47
00:01:53,308 --> 00:01:55,093
I love you.
I gotta go. Bye.
48
00:01:55,177 --> 00:01:56,245
[ Hang up beep ]
49
00:01:56,679 --> 00:01:59,164
All right, how long
is this thing going to take?
50
00:01:59,248 --> 00:02:01,166
It shouldn't be too long.
51
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:04,235
Remarkable resilience
for a Roadie.
52
00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:06,438
I've never seen one
with such...
53
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,173
Violent tendencies.
54
00:02:08,257 --> 00:02:09,574
Okay...
55
00:02:09,658 --> 00:02:11,843
Let's wrap this up;
get into the weekend. ‐
56
00:02:11,927 --> 00:02:14,579
Oh! You've got two new calls
from that reporter ...
57
00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:16,548
Maria something?
58
00:02:16,632 --> 00:02:17,816
Uh, channel seven.
59
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,818
Yeah, she's been bugging
the cops, too.
60
00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:21,253
Where is Susan?
61
00:02:21,337 --> 00:02:22,487
God, can we please
start without her?
62
00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:24,189
I've got places to be.
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00:02:24,273 --> 00:02:27,325
Sorry, I was just packing up a
little homework for the weekend.
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00:02:27,409 --> 00:02:28,560
Martyr.
65
00:02:28,644 --> 00:02:30,829
Can we do
this please? Phil?
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00:02:30,913 --> 00:02:32,481
Okay...
67
00:02:32,648 --> 00:02:35,417
We worked the Jackson house
for two weeks.
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00:02:35,918 --> 00:02:39,104
Mid‐level engagement
associated with an old fella
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00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:41,306
who died in the upstairs bedroom
20 years ago
70
00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:43,108
but never got the memo.
71
00:02:43,192 --> 00:02:45,844
Luke helped him move on
but, in doing so,
72
00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:47,545
revealed our next contestant.
73
00:02:47,629 --> 00:02:49,814
Basically a class‐three
shapeshifting demon
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00:02:49,898 --> 00:02:52,584
that bounces from person
to person looking for a home.
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00:02:52,668 --> 00:02:54,819
They are attracted
to our type of houses.
76
00:02:54,903 --> 00:02:57,289
They feed on
the spiritual turbulence.
77
00:02:57,373 --> 00:02:59,457
Heavier the engagement,
tastier the meal.
78
00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:01,326
Basically, it looks for
bad places to live
79
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:03,295
and makes them worse.
80
00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:05,297
What do they look like?
81
00:03:05,381 --> 00:03:07,432
See, that's the thing
about Roadies...
82
00:03:07,516 --> 00:03:10,168
they have no corporeal mass
of their own...
83
00:03:10,252 --> 00:03:12,837
only the host they occupy
at any given moment.
84
00:03:12,921 --> 00:03:14,439
So, you've seen
these things before?
85
00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:15,840
Only twice.
86
00:03:15,924 --> 00:03:18,310
Fortunately, that was enough
for our man, August,
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00:03:18,394 --> 00:03:20,845
to figure out how modify the
M. E. D. to take it apart nicely.
88
00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:23,415
And that is what
saved our bacon tonight.
89
00:03:23,499 --> 00:03:25,317
PHIL:
Yeah!
90
00:03:25,401 --> 00:03:27,152
[ Whooping ]
91
00:03:27,236 --> 00:03:29,788
To be prepared
is half the victory.
92
00:03:29,872 --> 00:03:31,407
Cervantes.
93
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,092
Man, those Roadies
played rough.
94
00:03:34,176 --> 00:03:36,161
You saw what those Jackson kids
did to their parents.
95
00:03:36,245 --> 00:03:38,229
Yeah. But that's
not the worst of it.
96
00:03:38,477 --> 00:03:41,433
Mm‐mm. If they manage to stay
in the host long enough,
97
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:43,234
they can take over.
98
00:03:43,318 --> 00:03:45,136
Take over... how?
99
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:48,206
You know those stories you
hear about the nice, responsible
100
00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:51,810
insurance guy with a nice yard
who goes crazy one day
101
00:03:51,894 --> 00:03:54,279
and kills his entire family
with an axe?
102
00:03:54,363 --> 00:03:55,580
My god.
103
00:03:55,664 --> 00:03:58,283
Doesn't always go that way,
but often enough to, you know...
104
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,151
[ Alarm rings ]
105
00:04:00,235 --> 00:04:02,554
Ooh. That's not
a happy sound.
106
00:04:02,638 --> 00:04:04,189
AUGUST:
That is the breach alarm.
107
00:04:04,273 --> 00:04:05,290
Zooey,
108
00:04:05,374 --> 00:04:07,425
lock down the elevators
and the stairwell, please.
109
00:04:07,509 --> 00:04:08,560
Talk to me, Augie.
110
00:04:08,644 --> 00:04:09,861
Checking now.
111
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,162
What? Is there a fire?
112
00:04:11,246 --> 00:04:12,364
I wish.
113
00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:15,166
I think something
followed us home.
114
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,618
♪ Opening score ♪
115
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,526
[ Man screams ]
116
00:04:26,462 --> 00:04:27,846
AUGUST:
Bear in mind that this
117
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:31,141
merely indicates presence,
not location.
118
00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:32,815
Now, how did it survive
that blast from the M. E. D.?
119
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,118
It didn't.
120
00:04:34,203 --> 00:04:35,554
It was gone.
121
00:04:35,639 --> 00:04:37,690
Ontologically disassembled.
122
00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:38,782
And yet here it is.
123
00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:40,518
I killed it.
124
00:04:40,602 --> 00:04:41,753
It's dead.
125
00:04:41,837 --> 00:04:43,588
So, I talked to
the building sup.
126
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:45,857
He's shutting down the elevators
at the ninth floor
127
00:04:45,941 --> 00:04:47,025
and securing
the stairwell.
128
00:04:47,109 --> 00:04:50,729
We have to walk down ten
flights of stairs to get out?
129
00:04:50,813 --> 00:04:52,997
Do you want to
tell her or can I?
130
00:04:53,081 --> 00:04:55,266
Until we manage to wipe this
thing out properly,
131
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:56,935
we can't take a chance
on letting it out.
132
00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:58,670
Lockdown, baby.
133
00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:00,271
[ Scoffs ]
134
00:05:00,355 --> 00:05:01,890
You're kidding?
135
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:05,160
He's kidding, right?
136
00:05:06,061 --> 00:05:07,579
ZOOEY:
Nope.
137
00:05:07,663 --> 00:05:08,580
So, we're stuck here?
138
00:05:08,664 --> 00:05:09,681
For how long?
139
00:05:09,765 --> 00:05:11,716
Well, hopefully not for long
but you saw how that thing
140
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,569
hopped from person to person.
141
00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:15,720
We can't risk it
getting out of here.
142
00:05:15,804 --> 00:05:18,590
Can it pass through
walls and doors?
143
00:05:18,674 --> 00:05:20,992
Were you not
paying attention?
144
00:05:21,076 --> 00:05:24,029
It doesn't have a body
except for the host.
145
00:05:24,113 --> 00:05:26,998
It's a Roadie;
never travels alone,
146
00:05:27,082 --> 00:05:28,800
only with the band.
147
00:05:28,884 --> 00:05:30,869
So, how did
it get up here?
148
00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:32,921
It found a host.
149
00:05:33,822 --> 00:05:35,624
♪ Suspenseful music ♪
150
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:38,160
[ Deep sigh ]
151
00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:42,914
Oh, come on!
152
00:05:42,998 --> 00:05:44,849
The truth is
we don't know.
153
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,652
This thing can sit dormant
in a person for...
154
00:05:47,736 --> 00:05:48,720
Phil, help me out here.
155
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:51,589
Latency seems to be
uncomfortable for Roadies.
156
00:05:51,673 --> 00:05:52,490
They...
157
00:05:52,574 --> 00:05:55,644
They like to move around,
like a virus.
158
00:05:55,878 --> 00:05:58,029
It infects different people
and takes control
159
00:05:58,113 --> 00:06:00,999
after varying periods of
dormancy and the host
160
00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:02,684
never knows until...
161
00:06:03,819 --> 00:06:05,954
he wakes up holding the axe.
[ Stabbing sounds ]
162
00:06:06,687 --> 00:06:08,906
It was around eight P. M.
When we last saw this thing...
163
00:06:08,991 --> 00:06:10,742
when August thought
that he killed it.
164
00:06:10,826 --> 00:06:12,644
Oh, August
killed it, all right.
165
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:13,845
Your tech says otherwise.
166
00:06:13,929 --> 00:06:16,247
Then there was
more than one.
167
00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:18,033
A Mary‐Kate and Ashley?
168
00:06:19,701 --> 00:06:20,719
Uh...
169
00:06:20,803 --> 00:06:22,020
I guess it's possible.
170
00:06:22,104 --> 00:06:23,806
Okay.
171
00:06:24,606 --> 00:06:25,590
We stay here for now.
172
00:06:25,674 --> 00:06:27,759
We keep an eye on each other
and we see what pops up.
173
00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:28,793
For how long?
174
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:31,262
Until we find it and August
smokes it for real.
175
00:06:31,346 --> 00:06:34,532
Phil, do your thing.
See what else you can find out...
176
00:06:34,616 --> 00:06:37,820
And you might want to
look at your own device.
177
00:06:38,086 --> 00:06:39,738
We are on the buddy system.
178
00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:42,507
Susan, you and I can talk
about the Menendez proposal
179
00:06:42,591 --> 00:06:43,842
in my office.
180
00:06:43,926 --> 00:06:45,710
You guys
stick together.
181
00:06:45,794 --> 00:06:48,030
Eyes on each other
all the time.
182
00:06:49,064 --> 00:06:51,649
You've got somebody
to feed Schrodinger?
183
00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:53,985
Yes, I...I'll
call my neighbor.
184
00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:57,072
I gotta call Anthony.
He's gonna freak out.
185
00:06:57,806 --> 00:06:59,257
Yeah, I got people
I gotta call, too.
186
00:06:59,341 --> 00:07:01,526
Why don't you go ahead and get
us some food while you're at it.
187
00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:02,727
Okay, what sounds good?
188
00:07:02,811 --> 00:07:04,262
Mm... a morphine drip?
189
00:07:04,346 --> 00:07:05,597
How's Chinese food?
190
00:07:05,681 --> 00:07:07,599
Is that okay with everybody?
191
00:07:07,683 --> 00:07:08,933
Chinese.
192
00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:10,535
Great. And get the usual.
193
00:07:10,619 --> 00:07:11,954
In the meantime...
194
00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:16,574
Let's all keep our eyes
on each other.
195
00:07:16,658 --> 00:07:18,026
Susan?
196
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:25,567
[ Sigh ]
197
00:07:26,702 --> 00:07:28,586
[ Three phone lines trilling ]
198
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,038
ALL THREE:
Hello?
199
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:32,590
No, it's just one of
those work things, Megan.
200
00:07:32,674 --> 00:07:34,259
It could be late.
201
00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:36,178
Certainly no longer
than absolutely necessary.
202
00:07:39,348 --> 00:07:41,266
Okay, bye.
203
00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:42,867
[ Phone drops on desk ]
204
00:07:42,951 --> 00:07:44,669
Just how long are we
going to be stuck here?
205
00:07:44,753 --> 00:07:45,937
It's hard to say.
206
00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:49,574
I don't have to tell you that
I am accepting a major award
207
00:07:49,658 --> 00:07:50,875
in less than 24 hours
208
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:53,778
and there are certain acts of...
personal maintenance
209
00:07:53,862 --> 00:07:55,714
that need to take place
between now and then.
210
00:07:55,798 --> 00:07:57,582
You look great.
You always look great.
211
00:07:57,666 --> 00:07:59,250
To the untrained eye.
212
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:03,254
In my own mind, I'm the chick
in the tub in room 237
213
00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:04,840
of the Overlook Hotel.
214
00:08:06,975 --> 00:08:08,993
Look, you are just being
too hard on yourself.
215
00:08:09,077 --> 00:08:11,529
But it is my night, Luke.
216
00:08:11,613 --> 00:08:13,598
It's my one night!
217
00:08:13,682 --> 00:08:16,267
I'll never win an Oscar,
or a Stanley Cup
218
00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:18,269
and the Nobel Prize committee
has an obvious
219
00:08:18,353 --> 00:08:20,638
anti‐real estate bias.
220
00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:22,574
Are you really going to
deny me exfoliation
221
00:08:22,658 --> 00:08:24,909
on my very special day?
222
00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,978
Are you that cruel?
223
00:08:27,062 --> 00:08:28,646
I am not denying you anything.
224
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,781
But if this thing
is inside of you,
225
00:08:29,865 --> 00:08:30,949
you don't want it popping out
in the middle of your
226
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:34,853
acceptance speech and do
some kind of Roadie Rumspringa.
227
00:08:34,937 --> 00:08:36,721
It's going to do nothing
for your personal brand.
228
00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:39,708
Now, do you want to talk
Menendez or not?
229
00:08:40,075 --> 00:08:41,526
[ Deep sigh ]
230
00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:42,761
♪ Gentle music ♪
231
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,262
Yes.
232
00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:46,898
I don't know, Jeffrey!
It's part of my job.
233
00:08:46,982 --> 00:08:48,867
Well, maybe if you ever
had a job, you'd understand.
234
00:08:48,951 --> 00:08:51,870
I thought you'd understand,
but I guess not.
235
00:08:51,954 --> 00:08:53,038
You're stressed out?
236
00:08:53,122 --> 00:08:55,607
Anthony, how do you
think I feel?
237
00:08:55,691 --> 00:08:58,576
Quite honestly, the longer
I stand here talking to you,
238
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:01,246
...the longer cat food soaks
in the warm water,
239
00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:02,931
the better she likes it.
240
00:09:03,799 --> 00:09:06,718
No, I'm all out of
the canned food she prefers.
241
00:09:06,802 --> 00:09:09,854
I didn't get to the, uh...
[ Deep rumble ]
242
00:09:09,938 --> 00:09:11,589
♪ Ominous music ♪
243
00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:12,975
[ Squelching ]
244
00:09:15,944 --> 00:09:17,679
To the, uh...
245
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,782
store.
246
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:24,787
I'm afraid we'll all have to
struggle through this together.
247
00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:30,114
♪ Gentle music ♪
248
00:09:30,651 --> 00:09:32,653
PHIL:
Boy, it's a crowded field.
249
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,371
Okay...
250
00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:37,257
The Slavs call it a Leshy.
251
00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:41,377
The Japanese have a
shape‐shifting trickster fox
252
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:43,546
called a Kitsune.
253
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:46,148
For the Algonquins,
a Wendigo.
254
00:09:46,232 --> 00:09:49,018
When it possessed somebody,
255
00:09:49,102 --> 00:09:50,920
it developed
a violent compulsion
256
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:52,555
to feast on human flesh.
257
00:09:52,639 --> 00:09:53,956
[ Phone reminder chime ]
258
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,542
Hn! Who's hungry?
259
00:09:58,211 --> 00:10:00,996
I had no idea you could
break them down by income.
260
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,365
Used to be you couldn't.
261
00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:03,899
But I developed
this algorithm
262
00:10:03,983 --> 00:10:05,568
that scrapes the
property tax database
263
00:10:05,652 --> 00:10:07,136
and extrapolates
household income
264
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,604
on a separate tab.
265
00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:10,005
Whew. It's fantastic.
266
00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:12,108
- Mm‐hm.
- Is it legal?
267
00:10:12,192 --> 00:10:14,995
Susan Ireland:
real estate renegade.
268
00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:17,880
Dinner's downstairs.
269
00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:20,149
Why is it downstairs?
He usually brings it upstairs.
270
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,385
Ah, 'cause he can usually
use the elevator.
271
00:10:22,469 --> 00:10:23,552
So where is our dinner?
272
00:10:23,636 --> 00:10:25,521
Down at the security desk.
273
00:10:25,605 --> 00:10:28,657
Larry is probably sniffing
your Crab Rangoon as we speak.
274
00:10:28,741 --> 00:10:30,059
Larry the, uh...
275
00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:32,461
Larry the
security guard.
276
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,530
You know ‐the one
who looks at Susan the way
277
00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:36,065
Kanye looks at Kanye.
278
00:10:36,149 --> 00:10:37,650
♪ Mischievous music ♪
279
00:10:44,124 --> 00:10:46,526
Yeah. Just do
the voice.
280
00:10:48,995 --> 00:10:50,497
Larry!
281
00:10:50,663 --> 00:10:52,148
Hey, you!
282
00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:54,033
[ Fluorescent tubes buzz ]
283
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:57,003
[ Papers rustle ]
284
00:11:03,977 --> 00:11:05,512
What are these?
285
00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:07,930
The Jacksons had 'em
up on the fridge.
286
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:11,500
Think the youngest kid drew 'em
when he was chock full o' demon.
287
00:11:11,584 --> 00:11:13,102
What do they mean?
288
00:11:13,186 --> 00:11:14,921
Swirls, chaos...
289
00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:17,223
Two parents,
one sibling...
290
00:11:18,124 --> 00:11:19,475
Who knows?
291
00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:21,077
We should probably
take turns
292
00:11:21,161 --> 00:11:21,911
getting some sleep.
293
00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:24,980
Two of us need to be awake
at all times.
294
00:11:25,064 --> 00:11:28,635
Well, I need a tool
from my workshop.
295
00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:30,553
Who would like to
accompany me to witness
296
00:11:30,637 --> 00:11:34,040
any horrid transformations
that might take place?
297
00:11:34,607 --> 00:11:37,210
Oh, I'd buy
a ticket for that.
298
00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:41,163
[ Light switch clicks ]
299
00:11:41,247 --> 00:11:42,949
♪ Gentle music ♪
300
00:11:43,683 --> 00:11:45,634
[ Electronic hums
and whooshes ]
301
00:11:45,718 --> 00:11:47,036
It's like
302
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,372
Marie Curie/
Edgar Allen Poe
303
00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:51,607
gave birth to Steve Jobs
and we're
304
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:53,576
looking inside
of its brain.
305
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,144
I've been meaning to tidy up
306
00:11:55,228 --> 00:11:58,998
but there always seems to be
some more compelling need.
307
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:01,650
Ooh!
308
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:04,537
Sweet Virgin Airlines!
What is that?
309
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:08,624
It was living in the furnace
of a mid‐century bungalow
310
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,559
some years ago.
311
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:12,278
It, uh, obstructed
the ventilation.
312
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,099
Made it impossible to pass the
buyers' pre‐closing inspection.
313
00:12:17,183 --> 00:12:19,335
- Can't have that.
- Plus...
314
00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:20,987
it ate their cat.
315
00:12:24,657 --> 00:12:27,610
Uh, I don't even understand
most of this shit.
316
00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:31,080
It must be difficult to focus
when you're always
317
00:12:31,164 --> 00:12:34,450
busy trying to formulate
your next ironic remark.
318
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:36,636
Rather lazy
intellectually, though.
319
00:12:37,637 --> 00:12:39,155
Excuse me?
320
00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:40,890
[ Phone buzzes ]
321
00:12:40,974 --> 00:12:42,558
Uh, I need to take this.
322
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:44,994
- (Demonic voice creeps in)
- Oh, I know you do.
323
00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:46,529
What is your problem?
324
00:12:46,613 --> 00:12:48,364
You're strong.
325
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:51,400
Makes me sad to see you
act so needy.
326
00:12:51,484 --> 00:12:53,119
- [ Scoffs ]
- Needy?
327
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,371
You think I'm needy?
328
00:12:55,455 --> 00:12:57,573
[ Phone buzzes ]
[ Exasperated sigh ]
329
00:12:57,657 --> 00:12:59,642
I‐I'm gonna take this and
when I get back, you and me,
330
00:12:59,726 --> 00:13:01,477
we're going to have
a little chat.
331
00:13:01,561 --> 00:13:03,045
What is it, Jeffrey?
332
00:13:03,129 --> 00:13:04,513
Why, what did she say?
333
00:13:04,597 --> 00:13:12,597
♪ Mysterious music ♪
334
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,642
[ Deep rumbling ]
335
00:13:19,112 --> 00:13:20,647
[ Squelching ]
336
00:13:30,023 --> 00:13:31,524
[ Squelching ]
337
00:13:33,259 --> 00:13:35,161
[ Door rumbles closed ]
338
00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:38,080
So, this one version
of the Roadie
339
00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,523
supposedly manifests
in a large
340
00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:42,342
red, bird‐shaped rash
341
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:45,045
on the infected person's
left buttock.
342
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:50,604
What exactly am I supposed
to do with that information?
343
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:53,019
- [ Phone dings ]
- Hm.
344
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,522
- [ Text whoosh ]
- Oh, God.
345
00:13:57,057 --> 00:13:58,592
[ Button clicks ]
346
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:02,034
[ Text sent swoop ]
347
00:14:02,119 --> 00:14:04,187
[ Text whooshes,
clicks and swoops ]
348
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:14,832
♪ Gentle music ♪
349
00:14:15,546 --> 00:14:16,896
[ Phone down on table ]
350
00:14:17,077 --> 00:14:18,579
Trouble at home?
351
00:14:20,047 --> 00:14:23,633
I told you Anthony and I
are trying to adopt?
352
00:14:23,717 --> 00:14:26,320
Well, the people are
coming over tomorrow morning.
353
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,071
Anthony's freaking out.
354
00:14:28,155 --> 00:14:29,957
They're gonna love you.
355
00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,642
I hope so.
356
00:14:32,726 --> 00:14:35,011
You can trust me
on two subjects...
357
00:14:35,095 --> 00:14:38,098
adjustable‐rate mortgages
and screwed‐up families.
358
00:14:38,232 --> 00:14:40,550
You and Anthony will be
the best dads ever.
359
00:14:40,634 --> 00:14:41,952
[ Chuckles ]
360
00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:44,038
I wish you would adopt me!
361
00:14:45,072 --> 00:14:47,457
We could never afford
the wardrobe.
362
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,426
I cannot believe you are
breaking up with me
363
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,145
over the phone right now!
364
00:14:53,547 --> 00:14:55,649
At least it's not a text.
365
00:14:58,085 --> 00:15:00,087
Can you hold that
whiny rationalization
366
00:15:00,654 --> 00:15:02,189
for a hot second?
367
00:15:06,293 --> 00:15:07,995
Augie?
368
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:11,581
We're su‐supposed to be...
369
00:15:11,665 --> 00:15:14,017
[ Loud whoosh ]
[ Growl ]
370
00:15:14,101 --> 00:15:15,636
♪ Pulsing music ♪
371
00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:19,689
♪ Music crescendos,
fades out quickly ♪
372
00:15:19,773 --> 00:15:21,525
[ Deep breaths ]
373
00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:23,210
You okay?
374
00:15:24,111 --> 00:15:26,129
Oh, it was just
that stupid dream
375
00:15:26,213 --> 00:15:29,099
where you're doing a closing
376
00:15:29,183 --> 00:15:30,634
and Justin Timberlake's
the buyer
377
00:15:30,718 --> 00:15:33,637
and just as he's about to
sign the HUD‐One statement,
378
00:15:33,721 --> 00:15:36,039
he looks straight into your eyes
and starts singing
379
00:15:36,123 --> 00:15:38,942
"I'm Lovin' It"
and then his pen
380
00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:41,011
turns into this big snake.
381
00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:42,630
[ Inhales ]
382
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,833
Oh, come on.
You've never had that dream?
383
00:15:50,771 --> 00:15:52,522
♪ Gentle music ♪
384
00:15:52,894 --> 00:15:54,896
Where's Zooey
and, uh...
385
00:15:55,839 --> 00:15:57,407
August?
386
00:15:58,012 --> 00:15:59,513
Luke...
387
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:02,061
I'm...
388
00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:03,700
afraid we have a problem.
389
00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:05,412
♪ Music crescendos ♪
390
00:16:08,055 --> 00:16:09,423
♪ Mysterious music ♪
391
00:16:12,059 --> 00:16:13,360
[ Glass down ]
392
00:16:18,947 --> 00:16:22,384
I was certain I'd blasted
that thing to smithereens.
393
00:16:22,621 --> 00:16:25,140
I still believe...
394
00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:26,526
Where's Zooey?
395
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,595
I don't know.
396
00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:34,534
I sat down at my workbench,
397
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,206
trying to figure out
how to integrate the...
398
00:16:40,674 --> 00:16:42,442
chopping mechanism
into an M. E. D.
399
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:46,613
The next thing I knew, my...
400
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:51,385
My arms felt like they were
out of joint and...
401
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,805
Zooey was nowhere
to be found.
402
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,273
We are on lockdown.
403
00:16:57,357 --> 00:16:59,142
She is in this office.
404
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,543
We'll find Zooey.
405
00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:03,813
And we somehow need to
find the blades to a
406
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:06,874
Karnaj model number 6800
407
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,424
FYB food processor.
408
00:17:08,509 --> 00:17:09,726
There's plenty
of time for that.
409
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,217
No!
410
00:17:11,302 --> 00:17:14,108
The demon focused
on those particular blades.
411
00:17:14,389 --> 00:17:16,875
It took a file
and dulled them
412
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,460
Destroyed them!
413
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:20,729
If it made that effort,
414
00:17:21,563 --> 00:17:23,298
there is something there.
415
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:26,969
Okay.
416
00:17:28,937 --> 00:17:30,572
You guys look for Zooey.
417
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:34,276
And you keep an eye
on each other.
418
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:38,414
[ Footsteps away ]
419
00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:40,503
Luke,
420
00:17:42,518 --> 00:17:44,936
what if I did to her
what those...
421
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,538
boys did to...?
422
00:17:46,622 --> 00:17:48,290
I can't.
423
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:51,460
Hey. It's me.
424
00:17:51,727 --> 00:17:54,279
You know that 24‐hour
Sav‐Mor on Brighton?
425
00:17:54,363 --> 00:17:56,665
Yeah, the one across
from the park.
426
00:17:57,366 --> 00:18:00,569
Do you know if they have any
high‐end small appliances?
427
00:18:03,705 --> 00:18:05,490
Elevators are
still locked down.
428
00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:07,276
Stairway door
shows locked.
429
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,328
Zooey!
430
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:12,630
I mean, it's
a small office.
431
00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:14,983
Come on, Zooey,
quit screwing around!
432
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,305
♪ Ominous music swell ♪
433
00:18:41,577 --> 00:18:42,894
PHIL:
Anything?
434
00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:44,580
Let's check his workshop.
435
00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:48,633
[ Thud ]
436
00:18:48,717 --> 00:18:50,368
♪ Eerie music ♪
437
00:18:50,452 --> 00:18:52,221
[ Squelching ]
438
00:18:57,726 --> 00:18:59,428
[ Animalistic growls ]
439
00:19:26,255 --> 00:19:27,539
Augie.
440
00:19:27,623 --> 00:19:29,291
[ Fingers snapping ]
441
00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:32,877
- Any luck?
- No.
442
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,518
I've been texting her.
Nothing.
443
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,792
Not Zooey's style
to run away.
444
00:19:36,877 --> 00:19:38,728
Maybe Zooey
wasn't driving.
445
00:19:38,858 --> 00:19:39,909
I need to find her.
446
00:19:39,994 --> 00:19:40,977
You stay where you are.
447
00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:44,024
Luke, we need
to talk to you.
448
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:45,869
Outside.
449
00:19:48,217 --> 00:19:50,603
You can speak
in front of me.
450
00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:52,656
We looked in
your workshop.
451
00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:54,612
The M. E. D is dismantled.
452
00:19:56,017 --> 00:19:59,711
I told you, the Roadie
filed down the blades.
453
00:19:59,796 --> 00:20:02,565
And what did
you do to Zooey?
454
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,951
Mm, guys, chill out.
455
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:07,186
- Zooey!
- PHIL: Where the hell were you?
456
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:09,588
- I was in the hallway.
- And before that?
457
00:20:09,672 --> 00:20:11,007
Um...
458
00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:12,842
I was...
459
00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:14,744
Ooh.
460
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,280
I was, um...
461
00:20:18,281 --> 00:20:20,717
Talking on the phone
with Jeffrey and...
462
00:20:21,918 --> 00:20:24,287
I think he broke up with me.
463
00:20:24,888 --> 00:20:26,539
On the phone?
464
00:20:26,623 --> 00:20:27,506
Classy.
465
00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:29,675
Um, I think you're
automatically disqualified
466
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:31,744
from commenting
on awkward breakups.
467
00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:34,680
Anyway, I was talking
on the phone with Jeffrey
468
00:20:34,764 --> 00:20:36,599
and then I was...
469
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,918
outside the conference room.
470
00:20:39,002 --> 00:20:40,653
[ Phone dings and buzzes ]
471
00:20:40,737 --> 00:20:42,688
Let me see your eyes.
472
00:20:42,772 --> 00:20:44,523
- It's too bright in here.
- I know.
473
00:20:44,607 --> 00:20:46,459
It's a text from my mom.
474
00:20:46,543 --> 00:20:48,978
"Turn on the TV, local news,
channel seven."
475
00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:55,868
REPORTER: ...where an unidentified couple
476
00:20:55,952 --> 00:20:58,537
are in critical condition
tonight,
477
00:20:58,621 --> 00:21:01,674
their two pre‐teen sons
in the care of social services
478
00:21:01,758 --> 00:21:04,944
following a confrontation that
occurred earlier this evening.
479
00:21:05,028 --> 00:21:07,847
Details are sketchy,
but early reports say that
480
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:12,451
one or both sons are responsible
for their parents' injuries.
481
00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:15,921
However, Spotlight Seven
has discovered a strange link
482
00:21:16,005 --> 00:21:18,824
between tonight's incident
and a tragedy
483
00:21:18,908 --> 00:21:21,794
that occurred under a year ago.
484
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:24,597
Questions still linger
about the explosion
485
00:21:24,681 --> 00:21:26,699
that caused the death
of the Travis family...
486
00:21:26,783 --> 00:21:28,234
Oh, dear.
487
00:21:28,318 --> 00:21:29,802
REPORTER:
...but we've discovered
488
00:21:29,886 --> 00:21:30,803
that both the Travises
489
00:21:30,887 --> 00:21:33,806
and the unidentified victims
of tonight's incident
490
00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:36,860
were clients of the same
shadowy real estate firm.
491
00:21:37,761 --> 00:21:40,212
Um, we are
so not shadowy.
492
00:21:40,296 --> 00:21:42,648
We're a little shadowy.
493
00:21:42,732 --> 00:21:44,183
...and the police
will not comment
494
00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:46,185
on the details
of tonight's incident
495
00:21:46,269 --> 00:21:48,521
or the Travis explosion.
496
00:21:48,605 --> 00:21:50,222
But does this
seeming coincidence
497
00:21:50,306 --> 00:21:52,224
raise some troubling questions
498
00:21:52,308 --> 00:21:54,961
for other clients
of the mysterious firm?
499
00:21:55,045 --> 00:21:56,929
Reporting live, I'm Mari...
500
00:21:57,013 --> 00:21:59,516
[ Remote clatters on table ]
501
00:22:00,283 --> 00:22:01,785
We're so screwed.
502
00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:07,657
♪ Mysterious waltz ♪
503
00:22:25,608 --> 00:22:27,043
♪ Ominous music ♪
504
00:22:27,877 --> 00:22:29,779
[ Struggling for breath ]
505
00:22:39,289 --> 00:22:40,757
ALL:
No!
506
00:22:40,890 --> 00:22:42,892
Nice to see you, too.
507
00:22:43,827 --> 00:22:44,944
How'd you get in here?
508
00:22:45,028 --> 00:22:46,479
The security guy
brought me up.
509
00:22:46,563 --> 00:22:47,546
He has a key.
510
00:22:47,630 --> 00:22:48,781
The security guy has a key?
511
00:22:49,057 --> 00:22:51,709
Yeah, I think they gave it to
him roughly around the same time
512
00:22:51,794 --> 00:22:53,846
they started calling him
"the security guy."
513
00:22:53,931 --> 00:22:55,849
- What's going on here?
- It's a long story.
514
00:22:55,934 --> 00:22:57,384
The punch line is you're
gonna be stuck in here
515
00:22:57,468 --> 00:22:58,853
with us for a while.
I'll explain in a minute.
516
00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,387
Is that the food processor?
517
00:23:00,471 --> 00:23:02,857
Uh, the last one in stock!
518
00:23:02,941 --> 00:23:05,944
Plus I had a coupon
for ten percent off.
519
00:23:09,113 --> 00:23:11,082
Model number 6800‐FYB.
520
00:23:11,749 --> 00:23:13,400
Brilliant.
521
00:23:13,484 --> 00:23:14,668
Thank you.
522
00:23:14,752 --> 00:23:16,737
I, uh, hope the color's okay.
523
00:23:16,821 --> 00:23:18,038
Lovely.
524
00:23:18,122 --> 00:23:21,125
Are you going to
give it to somebody?
525
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,844
I'm certainly going to try.
526
00:23:23,928 --> 00:23:25,029
♪ Mysterious music ♪
527
00:23:27,732 --> 00:23:29,850
So, if that machine
didn't work the first time,
528
00:23:29,934 --> 00:23:31,986
what makes you think
it's going to work now?
529
00:23:32,070 --> 00:23:34,806
First, I maintain
that it did work.
530
00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:39,059
Second, on the remote
possibility that I am wrong,
531
00:23:39,143 --> 00:23:41,662
I am significantly
increasing the speed,
532
00:23:41,746 --> 00:23:43,097
efficiency
533
00:23:43,181 --> 00:23:45,900
and lethality of the device.
534
00:23:45,984 --> 00:23:47,485
So...
535
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:51,923
we never did deconstruct
that "needy" remark.
536
00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:56,377
Well, perhaps I was commenting
on your apparent need
537
00:23:56,461 --> 00:23:58,379
to be with a certain...
538
00:23:58,463 --> 00:23:59,880
type.
539
00:23:59,964 --> 00:24:01,382
[ Scoffs ]
540
00:24:01,466 --> 00:24:04,769
Okay, I do not have a type.
541
00:24:06,804 --> 00:24:10,791
I‐Jeffrey was nothing
like A. J. who was nothing ...
542
00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:12,210
nothing like Chris.
543
00:24:13,878 --> 00:24:15,996
I stand corrected.
544
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,815
[ August whistles happily ]
545
00:24:23,821 --> 00:24:27,775
I mean, none of them had,
like, careers to speak of but,
546
00:24:27,859 --> 00:24:29,977
once again, that's not a type.
547
00:24:30,061 --> 00:24:32,913
A.J. was studying to
become a bartender.
548
00:24:32,997 --> 00:24:35,115
Took the exam, like,
three times.
549
00:24:35,199 --> 00:24:37,384
Always tripped up
on the mojito.
550
00:24:37,468 --> 00:24:38,552
So, I came up with this
secret phrase,
551
00:24:38,636 --> 00:24:41,121
it's like a memory aid for him
to remember the ingredients ...
552
00:24:41,205 --> 00:24:44,124
rum, lime, mint,
club soda, sugar, ice...
553
00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:47,394
Real Life Murders,
Crime Scene Investigators.
554
00:24:47,478 --> 00:24:48,980
That's so simple, right?
555
00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,916
Mmm... Not for A. J.
556
00:24:52,216 --> 00:24:53,868
And Chris?
557
00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:55,253
Chris wrote poetry.
558
00:24:56,487 --> 00:24:57,438
Used to go on these huge rants
559
00:24:57,522 --> 00:25:01,775
about how social media
was commoditizing free verse.
560
00:25:01,859 --> 00:25:05,779
"If everything's a poem,
nothing's a poem."
561
00:25:05,863 --> 00:25:09,016
So, I suggested that maybe she
was better suited for something
562
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,152
like construction.
563
00:25:11,236 --> 00:25:13,805
And let's just say
that ended badly.
564
00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:17,041
And Jeffrey...
565
00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,044
Jeffrey does stand‐up.
566
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,931
Not very funny.
567
00:25:24,015 --> 00:25:25,717
Not intentionally, at least.
568
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:30,255
Would you, uh, mind handing me
that small Allen wrench?
569
00:25:37,195 --> 00:25:40,198
All I'm saying is that
you seem to need...
570
00:25:41,132 --> 00:25:42,834
projects rather than people.
571
00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:45,904
♪ Contemplative music ♪
572
00:25:46,204 --> 00:25:48,773
That's a terrible
thing to say.
573
00:25:54,078 --> 00:25:56,130
You should be with someone...
574
00:25:56,214 --> 00:25:57,949
wonderful.
575
00:25:58,249 --> 00:26:01,119
But such people are
available fully assembled.
576
00:26:01,986 --> 00:26:04,004
You needn't keep
acquiring them
577
00:26:04,088 --> 00:26:05,790
in kit form.
578
00:26:15,466 --> 00:26:17,035
I'm not needy.
579
00:26:17,936 --> 00:26:19,771
You're needy.
580
00:26:21,506 --> 00:26:23,074
[ Chuckles quietly ]
581
00:26:27,078 --> 00:26:28,863
♪ Music fades out ♪
582
00:26:28,947 --> 00:26:30,397
MEGAN:
I can't believe it.
583
00:26:30,481 --> 00:26:31,983
LUKE:
What?
584
00:26:32,951 --> 00:26:34,852
That I believe it.
585
00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:37,404
More things than
heaven and earth, Horatio.
586
00:26:37,488 --> 00:26:38,873
♪ Gentle music ♪
587
00:26:38,957 --> 00:26:40,925
I'm a science girl, Luke.
588
00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:45,029
This haunted house demon stuff
is really a leap for me.
589
00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:49,200
The Travis thing,
that really bothers you.
590
00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,038
So, what
really happened?
591
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,208
I got sloppy.
592
00:26:58,943 --> 00:27:00,311
Complacent.
593
00:27:00,945 --> 00:27:02,247
Naive.
594
00:27:03,448 --> 00:27:07,318
I was so eager to believe that
everything would be all right
595
00:27:08,052 --> 00:27:10,822
that I ignored
that voice in my ear.
596
00:27:10,989 --> 00:27:12,490
It's just, I'm...
597
00:27:14,492 --> 00:27:16,027
You already know this...
598
00:27:17,195 --> 00:27:20,064
I have this kind of connection
to these things all my life.
599
00:27:20,865 --> 00:27:23,902
I don't just see them,
I can feel them.
600
00:27:24,235 --> 00:27:26,237
And I can talk to them.
601
00:27:26,804 --> 00:27:30,208
And I can hear them talk
to me, if I listen.
602
00:27:31,843 --> 00:27:33,211
Sometimes people around me,
603
00:27:34,812 --> 00:27:36,180
they can see them.
604
00:27:36,814 --> 00:27:38,216
They can talk to them
605
00:27:38,983 --> 00:27:40,718
just because I'm there.
606
00:27:40,952 --> 00:27:43,922
So, then, what happened
at the Travis house?
607
00:27:46,824 --> 00:27:48,760
I didn't listen
close enough.
608
00:27:49,093 --> 00:27:50,795
SUSAN:
What a waste.
609
00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:52,964
Excuse me?
610
00:27:54,065 --> 00:27:55,767
God, look at you.
611
00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,835
You're so smart.
612
00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:00,189
Fairly well‐adjusted,
all things considered.
613
00:28:01,205 --> 00:28:02,907
Objectively attractive.
614
00:28:03,942 --> 00:28:07,779
But you are just like these
houses we're trying to sell.
615
00:28:07,946 --> 00:28:09,480
Damaged.
616
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,564
Horribly damaged.
617
00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:13,317
Susan!
618
00:28:13,484 --> 00:28:15,135
Oh, come on!
619
00:28:15,219 --> 00:28:17,938
You go from that Brock guy
to Luke here?
620
00:28:18,022 --> 00:28:20,825
You are the luckiest woman
on the planet.
621
00:28:22,093 --> 00:28:24,062
You should be
buying lotto tickets.
622
00:28:27,198 --> 00:28:28,883
What?
623
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,784
You guys okay?
624
00:28:30,868 --> 00:28:33,938
Well, Roadies seldom occupy
the same individual twice.
625
00:28:34,887 --> 00:28:38,090
August, Zooey, is the Roadie
inside either of you?
626
00:28:38,810 --> 00:28:41,045
- What?
- Just answer the question.
627
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:44,731
BOTH:
No.
628
00:28:44,816 --> 00:28:46,433
- How about you?
- No.
629
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,923
- Megan?
- Of course not.
630
00:28:50,822 --> 00:28:52,190
Susan?
631
00:28:52,809 --> 00:28:54,483
Come on, it's not
going to just tell you.
632
00:28:54,568 --> 00:28:56,452
It's this old
Nordic legend I found...
633
00:28:56,536 --> 00:28:58,388
a demon called a Tregastar.
634
00:28:58,472 --> 00:29:00,590
When this thing
takes you over,
635
00:29:00,674 --> 00:29:02,376
you say
636
00:29:02,541 --> 00:29:04,459
what you feel
637
00:29:04,544 --> 00:29:06,213
and you cannot lie.
638
00:29:07,214 --> 00:29:09,249
Were you always this dorky?
639
00:29:09,549 --> 00:29:11,334
Or was that something
that happened
640
00:29:11,418 --> 00:29:12,635
when you and God broke up?
641
00:29:12,719 --> 00:29:15,338
Susan, is it inside you?!
642
00:29:15,422 --> 00:29:17,340
[ Demonic growl ]
643
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:19,142
PHIL:
Ah! Oh!
644
00:29:19,226 --> 00:29:20,527
♪ Edgy music ♪
645
00:29:21,294 --> 00:29:23,613
The house!
You live in the house!
646
00:29:23,697 --> 00:29:25,214
Screw this.
647
00:29:25,298 --> 00:29:26,482
The wonderful house.
648
00:29:26,566 --> 00:29:28,251
Ah!
649
00:29:28,335 --> 00:29:29,636
[ Growling ]
650
00:29:29,936 --> 00:29:31,471
Get off!
651
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,191
Get her off of me!
652
00:29:35,275 --> 00:29:36,576
[ Growling ]
653
00:29:40,347 --> 00:29:43,499
[ Growling stops ]
[ Susan thuds to floor ]
654
00:29:43,583 --> 00:29:45,385
[ Device powers up ]
655
00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:47,870
[ Device powers down ]
656
00:29:47,954 --> 00:29:49,872
♪ Exciting music ends ♪
657
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:51,541
SUSAN:
Oh, my god!
658
00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:54,661
Where is it, Augie?
Did we get it?
659
00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:56,879
It rests in pieces.
660
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,481
[ Panting ]
661
00:29:58,565 --> 00:30:00,300
♪ Gentle music ♪
662
00:30:01,701 --> 00:30:05,238
Put it up on the scope
and make sure.
663
00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:09,826
[ Beep]
664
00:30:09,910 --> 00:30:12,546
We got five green.
We're all good.
665
00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:14,631
Nice work.
666
00:30:14,715 --> 00:30:16,199
Ow!
667
00:30:16,283 --> 00:30:18,601
Yeah, there's gonna be
some residual stiffness.
668
00:30:18,685 --> 00:30:21,270
After having that thing bounce
around inside you a while.
669
00:30:21,354 --> 00:30:25,174
No... kidding. This must be
what it feels like to be 30.
670
00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:26,442
[ Silence ]
671
00:30:26,526 --> 00:30:28,261
Ohh.
672
00:30:30,630 --> 00:30:33,349
I seriously need to sleep
for, like, two days.
673
00:30:33,433 --> 00:30:34,450
Okay, I gotta
get outta here.
674
00:30:34,534 --> 00:30:38,238
Zooey, call down and
have them unlock the elevator.
675
00:30:40,273 --> 00:30:41,575
Oh, yeah. Um...
676
00:30:42,275 --> 00:30:43,577
One thing.
677
00:30:44,411 --> 00:30:47,714
So, just before we all
group hug and go home,
678
00:30:48,515 --> 00:30:50,317
can we just acknowledge that
679
00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:52,268
some of us...
680
00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:53,369
♪ Emotional music ♪
681
00:30:53,453 --> 00:30:56,690
said some really hurtful
shit tonight and meant it?
682
00:31:02,229 --> 00:31:05,265
We've been in each other's
faces all night and you...
683
00:31:05,699 --> 00:31:07,434
probably had enough of me.
684
00:31:10,270 --> 00:31:12,588
Last thing you all
need to do is
685
00:31:12,672 --> 00:31:14,674
go to some stupid
banquet tomorrow.
686
00:31:17,210 --> 00:31:18,545
It's tonight.
687
00:31:26,286 --> 00:31:27,654
Sorry.
688
00:31:49,509 --> 00:31:51,160
♪ Thumping party music ♪
689
00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:52,612
[ Indistinct conversations ]
690
00:32:02,956 --> 00:32:04,874
RITA WEISS:
Is that her mother?
691
00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,927
It's got to be her mother.
692
00:32:09,563 --> 00:32:12,348
None of the others had
the guts to show their faces.
693
00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:13,449
BOB LIVINGSTON:
I think that's best.
694
00:32:13,533 --> 00:32:14,484
But, Bob, seriously,
695
00:32:14,568 --> 00:32:17,120
who brings their mother
to one of these things?
696
00:32:17,204 --> 00:32:19,422
Leo DiCaprio brought
his mom to the Oscars.
697
00:32:19,506 --> 00:32:22,558
Leonardo DiCaprio
was king of the world.
698
00:32:22,642 --> 00:32:26,529
Susan Ireland is, basically,
Daphne in Scooby Doo.
699
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:28,264
Well, they did
give our industry
700
00:32:28,348 --> 00:32:30,266
a huge slap
in the face.
701
00:32:30,350 --> 00:32:32,869
Can we just...
not hand out the award?
702
00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:34,570
STACEY:
Not an option.
703
00:32:34,654 --> 00:32:36,339
Well, perhaps
I can talk to her.
704
00:32:36,423 --> 00:32:38,541
We used to be, uh...
705
00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,276
- Colleagues.
- Mmm.
706
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,178
STACEY:
And what are you going to say?
707
00:32:42,262 --> 00:32:45,281
I'll ask her to keep it
brief and tasteful.
708
00:32:45,365 --> 00:32:46,816
She'll listen to me.
709
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,385
I'm a bit of a mentor.
710
00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,171
Mm.
711
00:32:51,605 --> 00:32:53,273
BOTH:
Mentor.
712
00:32:56,376 --> 00:32:59,379
Oh, go easy, honey.
Remember, you're speaking soon.
713
00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:02,532
I'm targeting that fine line
that separates relaxed and witty
714
00:33:02,616 --> 00:33:04,400
from actually
opening with a dick joke.
715
00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:06,486
I hope you hit it.
716
00:33:07,254 --> 00:33:08,404
Susan,
717
00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:10,190
you look radiant.
718
00:33:10,424 --> 00:33:11,925
A vision.
719
00:33:12,426 --> 00:33:13,543
How are you, Bob?
720
00:33:13,627 --> 00:33:15,345
Fantastic!
721
00:33:15,429 --> 00:33:17,731
And this must be
your sister?
722
00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:20,600
My mom, Constance.
723
00:33:21,668 --> 00:33:23,370
Mom, Bob Livingston.
724
00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:25,822
He's the guy who stepped out
of the left‐hand tub
725
00:33:25,906 --> 00:33:27,507
in that boner pill commercial.
726
00:33:27,941 --> 00:33:30,377
So much for that fine line.
727
00:33:31,344 --> 00:33:33,180
What a magical evening.
728
00:33:33,413 --> 00:33:36,450
Susan, could I borrow you
for half a shake?
729
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,804
Yep.
730
00:33:41,888 --> 00:33:43,390
Great.
731
00:33:44,891 --> 00:33:46,927
A pleasure to meet you,
Constance.
732
00:33:47,961 --> 00:33:50,197
Die in a fire, Bob.
733
00:33:56,436 --> 00:33:57,787
BOB:
How you doin'?
734
00:33:57,871 --> 00:33:59,222
♪ Gentle music ♪
735
00:33:59,306 --> 00:34:00,857
You know, we were
all very surprised
736
00:34:00,941 --> 00:34:03,293
when you took the job
with Roman.
737
00:34:03,377 --> 00:34:04,911
It's so...
738
00:34:05,412 --> 00:34:06,796
Off‐brand.
739
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,831
Running around with
that bunch of misfits.
740
00:34:08,915 --> 00:34:10,333
You're too good for this.
741
00:34:10,417 --> 00:34:11,801
You fired me, Bob.
742
00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:13,036
I obviously wasn't
too good for that.
743
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,272
Yeah, well that was because
of my wife and she insisted.
744
00:34:16,356 --> 00:34:18,541
Oh, yeah, how is Twyla?
I saw her in here earlier,
745
00:34:18,625 --> 00:34:21,928
checking that big fur coat
made from Dalmatian puppies.
746
00:34:24,398 --> 00:34:26,149
I was hoping we could
keep this civil.
747
00:34:26,233 --> 00:34:28,484
Look, I'm just here as a friend
to ask you to keep your comments
748
00:34:28,568 --> 00:34:30,453
brief and tasteful.
749
00:34:30,537 --> 00:34:33,856
And not to reference your
current employer or his,
750
00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:35,858
you know, band of weirdos.
751
00:34:35,942 --> 00:34:37,527
It's my agency.
752
00:34:37,611 --> 00:34:39,195
And those are my friends.
753
00:34:39,279 --> 00:34:40,596
Oh.
754
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,382
Yeah?
755
00:34:42,883 --> 00:34:44,267
Why aren't they here?
756
00:34:44,351 --> 00:34:45,719
To support you.
757
00:34:47,621 --> 00:34:50,237
I'm here, as a friend,
758
00:34:50,424 --> 00:34:52,342
asking you to please,
759
00:34:52,426 --> 00:34:54,477
please don't
embarrass yourself.
760
00:34:54,561 --> 00:34:56,363
And the rest of us.
761
00:34:57,898 --> 00:34:59,399
And Susan...
762
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,235
Congrats!
763
00:35:10,210 --> 00:35:11,645
♪ Dance music ♪
764
00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:23,439
Are you okay?
765
00:35:23,523 --> 00:35:25,174
STACEY:
Good evening!
766
00:35:25,258 --> 00:35:28,177
Everyone, please
return to your seats.
767
00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:29,896
[ Light conversations ]
768
00:35:31,932 --> 00:35:33,416
Good evening
769
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:37,787
and welcome to the awards
portion of our program.
770
00:35:37,871 --> 00:35:39,373
[ Applause ]
771
00:35:41,341 --> 00:35:43,426
Ladies and gentlemen,
772
00:35:43,510 --> 00:35:45,292
please join me in...
773
00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:47,045
[ Door opens loudly ]
774
00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:50,650
♪ Funky music ♪
775
00:35:55,922 --> 00:35:57,457
God.
776
00:36:10,604 --> 00:36:12,305
Sorry we're late.
777
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:17,511
You were right about
the personal maintenance.
778
00:36:18,879 --> 00:36:20,480
Yeah.
779
00:36:21,548 --> 00:36:24,722
As I was saying,
please join me...
780
00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:25,598
- Hey.
- Hey.
781
00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:29,169
...in welcoming the new
eight‐time laureate
782
00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:31,705
of the Platinum Ring of Esteem
783
00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:35,643
and the recipient of
our special award
784
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:39,513
for lifetime achievement
in the real estate arts
785
00:36:39,597 --> 00:36:41,682
and sciences...
786
00:36:41,766 --> 00:36:43,550
Susan Ireland!
787
00:36:43,634 --> 00:36:44,885
♪ Uplifting music ♪
788
00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:46,771
[ Whoops and cheers ]
789
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,222
[ Applause and cheers continue ]
790
00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:10,911
Have none of these people
seen the movie "Carrie"?
791
00:37:10,995 --> 00:37:13,564
[ Music and applause fade out ]
792
00:37:18,202 --> 00:37:19,887
Thank you.
793
00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:23,123
There are many people
I want to acknowledge.
794
00:37:23,207 --> 00:37:26,493
My mom, who is here.
795
00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:28,629
My dad, who isn't,
796
00:37:28,713 --> 00:37:30,948
although I kinda
feel like he is.
797
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,952
I hope he'd have
made time for it.
798
00:37:37,555 --> 00:37:39,106
My current colleagues:
799
00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:42,576
Luke, Phil, August and Zooey,
800
00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,712
who gave me a work‐home.
801
00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:46,447
My former colleagues,
802
00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:48,582
who made me realize
I deserved one.
803
00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:49,934
[ Snorts ]
804
00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:52,804
Hope they're wearing
their asbestos underwear.
805
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:56,156
But I want to thank
all of you, too,
806
00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,892
for believing in...
807
00:37:58,976 --> 00:38:00,678
something.
808
00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:02,547
Anything.
809
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,633
Some of you believe in me,
and for that I am
810
00:38:05,717 --> 00:38:07,635
more grateful
than you could know.
811
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,503
♪ Emotional music ♪
812
00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,823
Some of you believe
in other things.
813
00:38:13,191 --> 00:38:14,692
Odd things,
814
00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:16,761
amazing things,
beyond imagination.
815
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:20,698
You've opened my mind
816
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,668
and that's never a bad thing.
817
00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:27,554
But, most of all,
I want to thank you ...
818
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,208
all of you,
everyone in this room,
819
00:38:30,675 --> 00:38:32,477
for believing in this business.
820
00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:34,946
Our business.
821
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:37,765
The good we do,
822
00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:41,686
helping people move on
and find their way home.
823
00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:45,839
Thank you.
824
00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:47,692
[ Cheers and applause ]
825
00:38:58,569 --> 00:38:59,937
[ Whoosh ]
826
00:39:01,238 --> 00:39:02,889
- Oh!
- Ah!
827
00:39:02,974 --> 00:39:04,709
[ Crowd reaction]
828
00:39:16,474 --> 00:39:19,060
ANTHONY: The adoption police loved us.
They weren't mean at all.
829
00:39:19,432 --> 00:39:21,061
They just wanted
to check us out.
830
00:39:21,146 --> 00:39:24,614
You know, get our views on
education and nutrition.
831
00:39:24,706 --> 00:39:26,074
Running with scissors.
832
00:39:26,585 --> 00:39:27,769
So, what's next?
833
00:39:27,853 --> 00:39:30,059
Well, there's still a lot of
flaming hoops to jump through,
834
00:39:30,144 --> 00:39:32,079
but so far so good.
835
00:39:33,270 --> 00:39:34,972
What's wrong?
836
00:39:36,028 --> 00:39:38,079
There's just something
about last night.
837
00:39:38,163 --> 00:39:40,165
Can't put my finger on it.
838
00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:43,002
Hm.
839
00:39:45,304 --> 00:39:47,172
You were great.
840
00:39:54,213 --> 00:39:56,215
Hey. Thank you
for coming.
841
00:39:57,883 --> 00:39:59,885
That was a fine speech.
842
00:40:00,185 --> 00:40:03,205
What you said about
belief, believing...
843
00:40:03,289 --> 00:40:04,272
Very true.
844
00:40:04,356 --> 00:40:06,058
Mm‐hm.
845
00:40:06,292 --> 00:40:08,777
But the truth isn't
always welcome, is it?
846
00:40:08,861 --> 00:40:10,178
♪ Thumping music
from Zooey's car ♪
847
00:40:10,262 --> 00:40:12,264
It often comes with a cost.
848
00:40:14,033 --> 00:40:15,817
Get in, Mister Needy.
849
00:40:15,901 --> 00:40:18,286
I think I shall be
paying for it for a while.
850
00:40:18,370 --> 00:40:20,072
Hm.
851
00:40:27,813 --> 00:40:29,215
Hey, Susan!
852
00:40:30,115 --> 00:40:31,833
You were pretty badass tonight.
853
00:40:31,917 --> 00:40:33,319
[ Chuckles ]
854
00:40:41,126 --> 00:40:42,778
♪ Gentle music ♪
855
00:40:42,862 --> 00:40:44,679
You really
didn't have to come.
856
00:40:44,763 --> 00:40:46,332
Yeah, we really did.
857
00:40:48,300 --> 00:40:50,085
What are we gonna do?
858
00:40:50,169 --> 00:40:52,204
That news story's
gonna kill us.
859
00:40:54,773 --> 00:40:56,208
We'll figure it out.
860
00:40:58,377 --> 00:41:00,262
I just...
861
00:41:00,354 --> 00:41:03,156
I always try so hard
to be positive.
862
00:41:03,983 --> 00:41:06,819
To make people feel good
and like me.
863
00:41:07,820 --> 00:41:10,923
But I don't always say
everything I'm thinking.
864
00:41:11,757 --> 00:41:13,225
I mean, who does?
865
00:41:13,859 --> 00:41:15,194
But, Susan,
866
00:41:16,295 --> 00:41:17,997
on your worst day,
867
00:41:18,898 --> 00:41:20,148
I like you a lot.
868
00:41:20,232 --> 00:41:21,934
[ Laughs ]
869
00:41:25,170 --> 00:41:26,939
Still think she's lucky.
870
00:41:27,172 --> 00:41:28,908
[ Quiet chuckles ]
871
00:41:33,913 --> 00:41:35,247
Thank you.
872
00:41:38,183 --> 00:41:40,302
Hey! So, where to now?
873
00:41:40,386 --> 00:41:42,087
Wanna grab a bite?
874
00:41:44,023 --> 00:41:46,025
I want to go home.
875
00:41:46,325 --> 00:41:49,044
You want to go
to my place?
876
00:41:49,128 --> 00:41:50,946
Mine.
877
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,398
My place.
878
00:41:53,866 --> 00:41:55,201
I don't...
879
00:41:55,901 --> 00:41:58,019
Why do you want to go there?
I mean, we agreed...
880
00:41:58,103 --> 00:41:59,955
I didn't...
881
00:42:00,039 --> 00:42:01,974
[ Uber car arrived chime ]
882
00:42:02,775 --> 00:42:04,210
Did you call an Uber?
883
00:42:06,979 --> 00:42:08,697
Megan?
884
00:42:08,781 --> 00:42:10,115
♪ Mysterious music ♪
885
00:42:12,384 --> 00:42:14,086
Megan, what's going on?
886
00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:22,194
How are we tonight?
887
00:42:23,929 --> 00:42:25,297
We are wonderful.
888
00:42:31,303 --> 00:42:33,188
[ Animalistic growl ]
889
00:42:33,272 --> 00:42:34,974
[ Squelching ]
890
00:42:35,808 --> 00:42:37,810
(Demonic voice)
Now take us home.
891
00:42:40,346 --> 00:42:42,147
[ Car engine revving ]
892
00:42:43,782 --> 00:42:45,951
Closing credit theme ...
61160
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