Original subtitles

Am I looking weak to you?

Hey, Garrett.

How was your day?

That's how normal people start a conversation.

When I was management, I had power.

Why did I give that up?

We were number one in shrink reduction and last in employee satisfaction.

I did that.

Now the world just seems dull or something.

Okay, we need towels. Someone run to the store and buy some towels.

No, wait, we're a store. Get some towels.

You're not going to have the baby in the store. You have plenty of time, Shai.

And it could be false labor, you know? That's called a Braxton Hicks

contraction. This baby is not going to be born in cloud nine. Maybe it's

Hicks. Okay, we get it. You know the term Braxton Hicks. We're all very

impressed. No, I'm having this baby here.

Okay, this is it.

This is happening.

I feel nothing.

Attention, shoppers. Is there a doctor in the... Who am I kidding? This is

nine. Anybody here watch a lot of Grey's Anatomy?

Maybe Nurse Jackie?

Not the Nick.

Move!

Pharmacist! Coming through! Step aside.

I need room.

All right.

Cheyenne, I need you to listen to me here, and we will get through this.

In the last 24 hours, have you taken any medication I need to know about? Just

some time.

Calcium carbonate. That's fine. That's not going to harm the baby.

All right.

Okay, yeah, that's it? Well, yeah.

I'm a pharmacist.

I don't know how to deliver a baby.

Gross. But, um, good luck.

Oh, my training kicked in. You're welcome, everyone.

Oh! Oh!

Okay, that's good. If the contractions are longer, that means you're in, it's

called active labor, so I guess you're in active labor.

I'm going to go get some stuff.

Okay, look, I took part in a cow birth once. The calf died, but I learned what

not to do. No, no, no, no, no.

Uh, no.

Yeah.

Will we need cotton balls?

I'll get cotton balls.

No, no.

Ooh, yeah.

Cheyenne? I want you to wait until you have an uncontrollable urge to push,

okay? And then you're going to bear down with all your strengths for ten seconds

at a time, okay?

I can't believe you know how to handle this. Well, I played the abortion doctor

in a hellhouse once.

Oh, cool.

If it helps in a train midway.

Garrett, you're filming this?

Yeah, for Beau. I figured he'd want to see it. Fine. Can everyone else back up?

This is a private moment.

Excuse me, miss. What's the difference between a sunblock and a sunscreen?

This is it. The baby's coming.

All right. All right. I like that. I like that.

Oh, okay.

This is it, guys.

It's coming. This is the moment.

Oh, um, the contraction stopped.

Oh, that's, um, huh.

Braxton Hicks, I guess. It's false labor.

I guess I should put on my pants now.

The company's targeted maneuvers are also a direct reflection of its mission.

reads, Cloud 9's mission statement is a lower price point.

Okay, I'm sorry, Cheyenne?

You okay?

I'm fine.

It's just the baby's compressing my lungs.

I'm making it really hard for me to just take a full breath.

But I'm okay.

No, you're not okay. You almost gave birth to your child in the store

Yeah, dude. I wish I had an excuse this good to ditch work. I can't go home. I

need the hours, you know, for this little girl.

Oh. Did it kick?

No. I just...

I touch myself here and it makes me pee a little bit.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

She shouldn't have to kill herself just to have a baby.

Did you guys know that in every other First World nation, paid maternity leave

is just automatic?

No, no, you are not going to forward us another article.

Oh, well, that was a big one.

These meetings are worse from up here.

Each of us would officially take a sick day, but we'd still come in and we would

clock in as Cheyenne so that she can take the day off but still get paid.

And she can just pass back later?

Cloud 9 made over a billion dollars last year. Why don't we just ask them to pay

for maternity leave? Oh, you want to just call a corporate and ask them? That

sounds easy.

It's worth a shot, isn't it? I mean, what's the worst they can do, say no?

This is Amy Dubinowski from store 1217.

We have an employee here who's about to have a baby, and I was wondering if

maybe we could get her some paid maternity leave.

I'm sorry, we don't offer paid maternity leave.

Don't just give up.

Well, some of us were wondering if you could change that policy because we

really want it.

Um, that's just not something we offer.

Okay, but is it like a conversation you guys are having? Because I know other

big companies do offer it.

Typically, their employees would be in unions. I'm transferring now. Please

hold.

What are you doing?

Why would you say that?

Say what?

Hey there, Amy. This is Jeremy, Vice President of Employee Relations.

Hi. I don't know exactly... Do me a solid and hang tight for one second,

What's happening?

Please hold for Greg.

Who's Greg?

Why are we getting Greg? Go for Greg. Hey, it's Jeremy. I've got Rebecca from

legal and Amy from store 1217 where we've got that union problem. No. No.

were talking about maternity leave and somebody very annoying mentioned the

union. Oh, okay. Let's just all calm down, take a breath, step back from the

ledge. No. Oh, no. No, there's no ledge.

Nobody's talking about unions. No way. And nobody's going on strike.

Please hold.

Okay, you've got Howard, Sue, Cheryl, Keith, Guillermo, Renee, and Alan here.

How you doing?

Hi. Hi. Okay, hang tight down there, 1217. We're sending someone down to your

first thing tomorrow morning. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't have to do that.

Take care. Amazing talk.

Wow.

How did I not know your last name was Dubonowski?

Morning, everyone.

Grab some coffee, help yourself to a donut hole.

You see what's going on here, right?

Corporate smells trouble, so they send in a shark. A big swinging wiener.

Have him swing his wiener around a little. Give us a slap on the wrist. A

rap on the knuckles from a big swinging wiener.

It's going to be a long day.

Yeah.

Hello, 1217.

My name is Steve.

Does anyone here know who I am?

I know.

A union buster.

Good one. I'm going to remember that one. Funny. No, I am a labor relations

consultant. Cloud9 is an anti -union.

Unions are great for people whose companies don't listen to them. But

your concerns are, you can always bring them right to corporate anytime.

Oh, great. Some of us did have some concerns that I wanted to ask you about.

I want to hear about them.

But first, we're going to have some fun. Yeah? Has everyone gotten some coffee

in a donut hole?

Now we're going to do a little role -playing exercise, and I've roped in

manager, Glenn, here to help me out.

Okay, thank you.

You're going to play a union organizer, and you're going to try to get me to

sign this union card.

Okay? Sure, okay.

Hi,

my name's Steve, and the union... Okay, you know what, you're doing great, but

my name is Steve, so that might be a little confusing for everyone, so maybe

pick another name. Okay, sure.

Sorry, I'm just a little nervous.

Hi,

my name's Steve.

All right.

I'm going to be the Steve in this scene, right?

All right, you're Steve.

Sorry, misunderstanding.

You're doing great. Okay, all right.

Hello there, Steve.

My name's... Steve.

Literally, you know what? Any other name in the entire universe.

Okay, you know what? Let's give Glenn a round of applause.

You think, Glenn?

No worries.

All right, maybe a different volunteer. How about you with the purple polo?

Thank you for that.

Dina. Dina's going to be our union organizer, and she's going to try to get

to sign this union card. Let's see if Dina is up for the challenge.

Okay. Hey, how'd you like to join a union?

No thanks.

I don't need to.

Cloud 9 already listens to my concerns.

I really think it'd be in your best interest to sign this card. Please don't

bully me.

I do not need to pay someone to speak for me.

See, I shut her down.

Those are two examples. Stop interrupting me.

You will sign this card or I will choke the life out of you.

Wow. And the Oscar goes to Dina, right?

She was playing a character there. Oh, I'm not playing a character.

This is me, Dina, talking to you, union buster Steve.

I'm in a dark place right now. And quite frankly, I have nothing left to lose.

So you will sign this.

or I will be waiting for you in the parking lot at the end of the night

will wrap my hands around that tiny chicken neck of yours and stare deep

your eyes while I watch the lights go out.

Let's take a break.

You want some of mine?

Hey. Hey, man.

Just want to let you know I know names besides Steve.

Of course you do.

There's Glenn and there's Steve.

Thanks for your time.

Now you have the facts.

How you choose to use them is up to you.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you, God.

I know, right?

Excuse me, sorry.

Sorry, guys, but you had said earlier that maybe we could voice some concerns

the end of the meeting. Thank you, Jonah.

Absolutely.

Cloud9 has an open -door policy.

Great. So a couple of us were talking about the possibility of paid maternity

leave for the employees.

You know, Cloud9 is devoted to supporting the welfare and values of all

workers. Okay? Thanks.

Could you be a little more specific?

I love this. Great. We love this kind of passion and integrity that adds to all

the colors of the cloud. Great. But you're not actually saying anything.

because I'm truly listening.

You know what I just realized?

We have enough donut holes for all of you to have one more each, right?

Dig in, everyone.

Line up. Guys, they've been there for hours.

That meeting was such a joke.

They're not going to do anything for Cheyenne.

They don't care. You're just realizing that now. This company that wouldn't

spring for full donuts, just donut holes.

But it's not just about Cheyenne. It's about all of us. We're the people that

make this company run.

They need to start treating us better.

Like, Mateo, what was it you were complaining about yesterday?

Oh, remember? Yeah.

Why are our customers so ugly?

Yeah. No, how they...

Keep us under 40 hours so they don't have to give us benefits.

Oh, right. Yeah, that's up to you.

I haven't had a raise in five years.

There you go.

I mean, not to complain.

Sorry, I'm babbling. Sorry.

No, no, we should be speaking up about this. We don't have any leverage.

You know, maybe we should form a union.

Okay, calm down. Dude, you can't get everybody here to agree to join a union.

couldn't even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue.

Ended up being 1980s Arabian Nights Under the Sea Harry Potter.

So you just want everything to stay exactly the same?

That's ridiculous. What if Rosa Parks... Whoa.

Got it. Amped up. Sorry.

Look at him.

Mr. Big Pants.

Just waiting for us to flip up so he can bring the hammer down. I think he's

just having a coffee.

Oh, come on.

Mr. Big Pants.

Just swinging that big old wiener around.

And we're back to Wiener.

Thank you.

Here.

I was told to hand you these to read.

Because that's my job now.

I drop off pieces of paper.

Look at that.

Nailed it.

Hey, you want to read one?

Me? I mean, it's not exactly like being the boss, but it has sort of a voice of

God quality about it. Everyone has to listen to you.

Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. We are offering a 10 % discount on all wrapping

paper and gift bags.

Come check out this heavenly deal.

Oh. Yeah, it feels powerful, right? No, I just never realized my voice had such

a weak, tinny quality.

No, you've got a nice voice.

Yeah, you've succeeded in humiliating me.

Humiliating me. That's me. That's what I sound like. Okay, you don't sound

anything. Stop making me talk. It's a nightmare.

Intent to unionize. Yep.

International Brotherhood of Sanitation Workers.

I printed it off the web. I'm going to cross that out and write Cloud9. I'm

sorry. Were you not at that extremely long and early meeting this morning?

I was. And all it did was confirm that nothing is going to change around here

unless we change it. If you want to help Cheyenne, this is the way to do it. No,

this is stupid.

It's worth a shot.

No! That's what you said about calling corporate in the first place.

Not everything is worth a shot. I'm sorry. I'm not the kind of person who

stands by doing nothing while people around me need help.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I get it. You have an image in your head of leading all the workers out

some dramatic walkout and you're going to bring down the man.

But let me tell you something.

Real people's jobs are at stake.

So sick and tired of being painted as the stupid idealist while you get to be

the smart, pragmatic one. I'm not saying you're stupid. I am saying you don't

know how the real world works. There's a difference between not knowing how the

real world works and not having the guts to do something about it. Oh, okay.

Is she having her baby?

Yeah, I think so.

We should... Yeah.

Oh,

Cheyenne, she's awesome.

Harmonica. Oh, could you not baptize my baby?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Force of habit.

Glenn, if it's okay, I might just be like ten minutes late tomorrow.

Cheyenne. What? You are not coming to work tomorrow.

I need the money.

And they said I would mostly be done bleeding by then. But you should be with

the baby, though. It's okay. My mom can watch her.

And I'm going to leave her with some of my clothes so she can start to learn my

smell.

Cheyenne, this is unacceptable.

You've distracted us from our work. You've left your insides all over the

and now you've brought your child to work.

Gwen, what are you... No, no, I mean it. You're suspended for four weeks with

pay.

Oh, but I... Oh, but?

You want to make it six weeks?

Okay, fine. Bam. Six weeks paid suspension.

You want to keep going, Missy?

No,

I'm good.

Good.

I'm ready to go now.

Bye, Harmonica. Bye.

Congratulations.

Yeah?

Hey, Glenn.

I just wanted to say that what you did back there was awesome. Thank you.

Don't worry. You won't even notice Diane is gone.

Oh, I'm not worried.

It's not my problem anymore.

What are you talking about? Yeah, they let me go.

What? Yeah. They can't just... You've given your whole life to this place.

worry. I'll still be in the store all the time, just as a customer.

I'll say stuff like, hey, can you tell me where the dental floss is? Well,

probably not, because I already know where it is.

Unless you decide to move it.

What? What are you talking about? They asked me if I wanted to make a

for my replacement, and nobody knows this store better than you.

Um, no.

I'm not doing it. Then they'll just get someone else. I don't care, Glenn. I'm

not taking your job.

Amy, wait.

Someone is going to be in that chair tomorrow.

And that person has to take care of everyone in this store.

I'd rather that person be you than some stranger.

Amy, you're a leader.

And the people here need a leader.

Can you do that?

Yeah. I can do it.

Jonah. You think I'm doing it wrong, but if we stack them five wide and low,

they're less prone to toppling.

What's wrong?

They fired Glenn.

What? Yeah, so, um, about that walkout.

Mateo. Glenn got fired. We're walking out. Are you coming?

Yeah.

Sorry, we're doing a teal and green story.

Eric, all the employees are leaving early because they're staging a walkout.

because Glenn got fired!

Sure, man, that works.

I'm here!

I still have my credit card.

Hello?

Oh, no, no. You guys do not have to do that.

Okay, you know what? I understand that you're upset about Glenn.

I know, and I get that. No, no, come on. Corporate care.

Oh, shoot, Glenn.

Treat yourself to a brand new car.

Just this once. Job's going great. What could possibly go wrong?

Is this going to work?

I don't know.

But it's worth a shot, right?

So, what now?

Attention, please.

Listen up.

I have something I'd like to say.

I know you're scared.

This is a big moment.

But rest assured, Cloud 9 will be fine without you.

Anyway, I've demagnetized your key cards, and you will receive your final

paycheck in the mail with the cost of your vest.

from them.

Nothing personal. I wish you all luck.

But I've got a store to manage.

Thank you.

That really cheered me up.

Oh, and have a heavenly day.