Original subtitles

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

Hello?

Dad'll carry you, Danny.

Hello, Doctor. Hello Mr. Rowan.

Look, Danny. An Advent calendar.

And there's a picture inside.

Today's a reindeer.

Now, now, come on, Alec.

Let's get him inside afore it start snowing.

Is it gonna keep snowing, dad?

Aye, I reckon so, lad.

- Really? - Aye, just for you.

It's gonna be great, Danny.

There you go.

Thanks for getting him home for Christmas, Doctor.

It'll make all the difference.

I'm afraid it is just for Christmas.

Dad, he's coughing.

I'll wait in the car.

(COUGHS)

I'm all right, Dad.

I told you to not to get him excited.

Let me have a look.

Get him a drink, will you, love?

He should be fine.

Just get him straight to bed. His medication's in his bag.

I'll take him up.

Aye, and don't get him going.

I uh... I was hoping he'd be better.

We're doing the best we can.

Aye. Aye, I know, Doctor.

If you can keep him warm, I think the change'll do him good.

I was reading about sanatoriums in Switzerland.

They can cure him easily. Can't we send him there?

In an ideal world, Mr. Parkin.

Not on the National Health.

What sort of money are we talking about?

Hundreds, I'm afraid.

Might as well be millions.

How can I raise money like that?

♪ Just see those sleigh bells ding-a-ling

♪ Ring-ding-a-ling-a-ling-doo

♪ Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

♪ Outside the snow is falling and friends are a-calling for you

♪ Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling, ding-dong-ding

♪ Our cheeks are nice and rosy, and comfy and cosy are we... ♪

TRUCK DOOR SHUTS

PHONE RINGS

Ooh!

"Aidensfield Police."

It's Lady Whitly. Whitly Hall. I think I've got intruders.

♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling, ding-dong-ding

♪ Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy and cosy are we

♪ We're snuggled up together like birds of a feather would be

♪ Let's get the road before us and sing a chorus or two

♪ Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling, ding-dong-ding

♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling, ding-dong-ding ♪

Here, drink this. You'll feel better.

Thank you.

Will you be alright here on your own?

Oh, yes, I'm used to it.

Anyway, they weren't trying to get into the house.

- No? - Oh, no. I know what they were after.

So what about the truck then? We can't leave it here.

We'll dump it.

Only first, let's get these unloaded, alright?

Christmas trees?

Yeah, well, they're young fir trees.

They sell them as Christmas trees.

What will they think of nicking next?

How did you get on with Lady Whitly?

All right.

Yeah, she's helping you with this Christmas charity concert, isn't she?

Helping? She's graciously agreed to be our patron.

But she won't doing anything

that will get her beautiful manicured nails broken.

Yeah, she has got nice hands.

Her legs ain't too bad, either.

In fact, she's what Phil might call a cracker.

A cracker? How seasonal.

Oh, sorry, darling. Did that sting?

I think we'll find a home for this, son.

Come boy.

Come on.

Now then, George.

When are you gonna get some new trimmings?

You've been putting these up since the war.

I bet you've got some for sale.

Funny you should mention that.

Claude, these are up, and staying up.

If you want that tree decorated, I'll do it.

But only if I can put you where the fairy goes!

What are you doing with the tree anyway, Claude?

Short of company?

Why don't you stick to serving drinks and leave me to do what I'm good at,

which is helping my mates out.

You can have it for 30 bob.

- I'll give you a quid. - It's yours.

I'll knock it off your slate.

I thought you might. Where do you want it?

Stick it in the yard for now.

Well, shove off or you'll get impaled!

I wouldn't like to think that has fallen off the back of a lorry.

Oh, give over, Gina.

This is Yorkshire, love, not darkest Liverpool.

Hey, you'll never believe what's happened!

What?

Somebody's pinched my flaming lorry!

Can I help you?

How much are they?

They're one pound each. Do you want one?

No, thanks.

So now we know, right?

- What? - How much to charge, stupid.

Here you go, mate.

We could run with some proper decorations.

What about a mistletoe over Blaketon's door?

An anvil over Blaketon's door would do me!

You should see the decorations over Whitly Hall.

They say that she's quite decorative and all, Lady Whitly.

Yeah, not half.

Thirty years younger than Lord Whitly.

And they say that he died of sheer happiness.

Rowan! My office.

What's this?

It's a hymn book, you ruddy heathen.

This Christmas tree robbery, Rowan.

Let me get a few things straight.

You got a call from Lady Whitly while the villains were in her woods.

And yet you still managed to let them get away.

And you damaged your motorbike.

Well, they almost ran me down, Sarge.

All the more reason for you to be out on the case,

not helping Bellamy turn this station into Santa's grotto.

Now Lady Whitly has put her faith in us.

She's a Lady and I stress the word.

Living alone in a remote house,

in fear of her life, I shouldn't wonder.

Well, she seemed alright last night.

Shock. Takes time to set in.

As the Chief Constable pointed out to the Divisional Inspector,

who pointed it out me.

Chief Constable?

Whose wife pointed it out to him...

after she talked to Lady Whitly at a charity bazaar this morning.

You're not suggesting she should get preferential treatment, Sergeant?

As you said yourself Rowan, they tried to run you down.

Now, endangering the life of a police officer is serious.

- So I suggest... - ♪ The first Noel...

I suggest some extra surveillance seems to be in...

...order. What the...!

♪...in fields as they lay

(TUNELESSLY) ♪ In fields where they lay keeping their sheep

♪ On a cold winter's night that was...

What's going on, Ventress?

Sorry, Sarge. We're just doing a couple of things.

Sounds like you're slaughtering an animal.

Sarge!

It's Dr. Rowan's charity concert and we're doing a turn.

You'll give folks one if you sing like that.

Now, get back to work, the pair of you.

Something amusing you, is there, Rowan?

No, sarge.

Right then, on your bike.

And make sure Lady Whitly sees you beavering away.

I don't suppose you'd care to join us, sarge?

You supposed right.

Ah, just the gentleman I wanted to see.

Yeah sorry, can't stop.

What do you mean you can't stop?

I pay your wages, you know!

Marvellous, ain't it?

Know why you can't find a copper when you want one?

You're always in here.

Where do you expect us to be, Greengrass, the fire station?

I want to report a robbery.

Confession, is it?

It's no laughing matter you know, Ventress.

Somebody's pinched my lorry.

Who'd want to pinch your lorry?

That is what I want you to find out, Sherlock.

Isn't it about time you got some new decorations?

I could do you a job lot at cost if you're interested.

Hello, there.

How's it going?

Well, we're making enquiries through the regular suppliers

of Christmas trees.

We'll keep our eyes open, see if any turn up around here.

How can you tell if they're my trees?

Well, we can't really.

Not unless you've had "Whitly Hall" written through them,

like a stick of rock.

Well, I suppose we can hardly expect you to dust the tree stumps for dabs.

How are you feeling now, by the way?

Oh, I'm fine, thank you.

Oh, good.

Oh well, keep me informed, Constable. Thank you.

"Control to Delta Alpha 2-4."

Delta Alpha 2-4 to Control. What's up, Alf?

"Someone's nicked Greengrass's truck."

Greengrass's truck? You're kidding.

How many hundreds did the doctor say?

I don't know, but it was too many if we don't make a start now.

Look, let's try her. Come on.

Excuse me, would you like to buy a Christmas tree?

Oh, I get mine from the shop, love.

Yeah, but they're a pound in shop. These are eighteen bob.

Oh, I don't know.

They're our own trees. And we'll deliver. Please.

Go on, then.

All I can tell you was that the truck was there

when I put the empties out about midnight.

Alright, George.

We'll have a word with your regulars.

See if they noticed anyone hanging around outside last night.

Right.

That's nice, Gina.

- Do you like it? - Hmm.

Got it off Claude Greengrass would you believe?

Really? When was that?

This morning.

I didn't know he was into this sort of thing.

Nor did I.

But what isn't that one into, given half the chance?

Can you keep a secret, Danny?

Cross my heart.

We're going to send you to Switzerland.

To a sanatorium.

Isn't that where they put loonies? Like a loony bin?

No. This is for people like you.

People who can't breathe properly.

You see, the air's special in Switzerland.

Cause it's the mountains.

And I'm going?

Yeah. But it's still a secret.

Dad mustn't know, not till we've got enough money.

Is it a lot of money?

Yeah. Look, show him, Ron.

Where did that come from?

Did you rob a bank?

It's Christmas, Danny.

Special things happen at Christmas. Don't they?

♪ I'll have a blue Christmas

♪ Without you

♪ I'll be so blue

♪ Just thinking about you

♪ Decorations arranged

♪ On a green Christmas tree

♪ Won't be the same, dear

♪ If you're not here with me

♪ And when those blue snowflakes

♪ Start falling... ♪

We haven't even had a chance to go out and build a snowman.

Never mind. It snows all the time in Switzerland.

I need it now, don't I.

I've got all these birds to deliver by Christmas.

Nobody wants a turkey on Boxing Day, you know.

You do Christmas trees as well?

Like the one you flop to the pub.

I let him have it cheap because he's a mate.

If you want one, you've got to pay the full whack.

I've got my reputation to consider.

I'm not buying, Claude. I wanna know where you got it from.

Why do I get the feeling

you're not going to believe what I'm going to tell you.

Try me.

I found it.

What, in a wood, attached to its stump?

Very good. I told you you wouldn't believe me.

I found it by the side of the road when I were...

...looking for mushrooms.

In any case, you should be trying to find my lorry.

I mean, I know it's not worth much

but it's worth a damn sight more than flaming Christmas tree.

How about 30 Christmas trees?

That's how many were nicked from Whitly Hall last night.

Well it couldn't have been me cause I ain't got a lorry.

In any case, I only wish I had 29 more Christmas trees to sell.

Be a sight easier than plucking this lot.

♪ You better watch out, you better not cry

♪ You'd better not pout, I'm telling you why

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town

♪ He's making a list, he's checking it twice

♪ He's going to find out who's naughty or nice

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town

♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪

Pine needles, Rowan?

All over the back of his truck, sarge.

And what does he has to say about this?

Citizen Greengrass?

Well, I haven't spoken to him yet. Just about to have a word.

Well, I've got a better idea.

Why don't you bring him in here

and I'll have a word?

SCREECHING

You're supposed to howl when I play.

Don't turn away from me, Geordie.

You right let me down, Geordie.

You make me feel ashamed.

That was great, Albert. Thank you very much.

You what?

We were looking for more comedy and that was inspired.

But it's not meant to be funny, I hope.

I mean, yon dog, it's supposed to howl when I play.

Promise you Albert, it's perfect.

You're making fun of me.

No, I'm not.

Ya well, if that's your attitude, you can stuff your concert.

BARKING Not now!

Oh, please Albert, don't go. We need you.

Who's next?

A, b, c, d, e, f, g...

h, i, j, k, l, m...

n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u...

v, w, x, y, z.

Yeah!

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Come on, ladies and gentlemen.

Can I have your attention, if you please.

Ashfordly market's loss is your gain.

I've got everything you want for Christmas in here.

Crackers, novelties, decorations, the lot.

What's going on?

I tell you what's going on.

Cause your husband and his colleagues can't find my truck,

I can't get to Ashfordly Market, can I?

You can't do this. We're trying to put a show together.

I'm sorry, Kate. I've got a living to earn.

They're half a crown to you, madam.

Claude, just move.

Alright. If you want to purchase owt, I'll be setting up in the back room.

- Claude. - What?

Claude, if I told you I wanted you to be the star of my concert,

would you help?

What, you mean do a turn?

Well, it's more of a character part, actually.

Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to be pleased about this?

Come here.

You've got to be joking.

No, it's very you.

It's not, you know. It's somebody else.

Please. Just for me.

I'm sorry, Kate. I can't.

Uh, would there be any chance to borrow the costume for a bit?

You know, just to get into the character.

♪ I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

♪ Underneath the mistletoe last night

♪ She didn't see me creep

♪ Downstairs to have a peep

♪ She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep

♪ Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus

♪ Underneath his beard so snowy white... ♪

Afternoon, Santa.

The elves need you back at the workshop.

Sergeant Blaketon wants me to bring you in.

So you better get in.

BOOING

We might as well forget it. We'll never get enough.

We made 15 quid in a day.

And sold all the trees. We've nowt left.

So let's get some more. Come on!

Right, Greengrass. The good news is we've found your truck.

The bad news is...

...it contains evidence of stolen property.

What are you talking about?

Christmas trees.

Like the one you sold to the pub. Where did you get it?

I told you, I found it!

Found it?

Yeah. In the middle of the road when I were out with him.

I've already told Rowan.

You don't really expect us to believe that, do you Greengrass?

Well, coming out with a lie, it'd be a better one than that.

And what about the pine needles?

What pine needles?

The pine needles PC Rowan here found

all over the floor of your truck this afternoon!

I dunno owt about pine needles.

Of course you don't.

No, I don't, but I know one thing.

I know when somebody's trying to fit me up like you lot are.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Sarge, Nick. Can I have a word?

Parker!

What do you mean, it's not there?

There's no sign of any truck, sarge.

Are you sure you went to the right place?

Dalby crossroads, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, how do you explain this then, Rowan?

Well, it was definitely there, sarge.

You're telling me a stolen vehicle you just found has now been nicked again?

A truck belonging to that pain in the backside in there?

Looks like it, sarge.

Are you going to tell him or shall I?

Ashfordly Police.

Yes, he is. Hold on.

It's for you. It's your lady friend.

Still not snowing, Dad.

It will, you'll see.

It's still not Christmas yet, Danny.

Full of snow that sky, I'd say.

Full of it.

If your mother were still alive today, whatever would she have said, eh?

I told you why we did it, dad.

It's not the point.

Ellie, it's still stealing. And stealing's wrong.

Right?

There it is.

Right. Well, wait there a minute, will you?

KNOCKING

That didn't take long, did it? Bobby's here.

We did it for Danny, Dad.

We know what you're here for, Mr. Rowan.

We're trying to get some money to fly Danny to Switzerland.

Your missus says he'll get better if he went.

They're only bairns, Mr. Rowan.

The fact is a truck's been stolen and several dozen Christmas trees.

They'll give all the money back.

Can't it stop there?

Well, it's not up to me, I'm afraid.

These crimes have been reported.

It'll have to go further.

I was saving to buy some presents for them all.

It's the last of my redundancy money.

They don't deserve it now.

It's all I've got.

Well, we can't take it, Mr. Parkin.

Crimes have been committed, reports have been made,

forms have been filled in.

It's out of our hands.

I'm sorry.

Rowan.

That's a bit rough, isn't it, sarge?

You know the position, Rowan.

We are here to enforce the law.

To the rich and the poor.

Whatever the time of year.

Everything seems okay.

You're feeling all right?

... to go back to the hospital.

Why?

Well, dad spent all his money on coal to keep the house warm.

And Ellie and Ronnie are gonna get locked up.

Who told you that?

Nobody, but they won't tell me owt.

So I know it's my fault.

Now, you listen to me, Danny.

Your family love you very much.

And all they want for Christmas is for you to have a good time.

But I'm just in the way.

Even the snow's gone.

Come here, you big daftie.

If I'd been firmer with Fred about Switzerland,

none of this would have happened.

But you couldn't have known those kids would get an idea like that.

Oh, we've got to do something.

You're talking to the bloke who got booed out of the village today

for nicking Santa.

I've got to stand up in court and give evidence against those poor kids.

Couldn't we give the money from the charity concert

to start a fund to help Danny.

That's a good idea.

I'm not sure Blaketon would see it that way.

In any case, who is the patron of your show?

Lady Whitly.

And whose trees were stolen?

Can't you get her to drop the charges?

How?

Charm.

I presume that wouldn't be too much hardship for you.

And what about the truck?

You can't expect me to charm Claude Greengrass.

Whatever happened to Christmas spirit?

It seems to have passed.

Well, at least give it a try!

All right. I'll go and see her in the morning.

Don't build your hopes up though.

If she had her way, those kids will be sent to Australia.

That's my man.

And don't forget the butcher.

If you don't pick up the turkey by lunchtime, he's going to sell it.

Here, two bob.

Two bob?

Cheap at half the price.

Now then, little girl. Ho, ho, ho.

Would you like to sit on Santa's knee?

Are you the real Santa?

Would Santa tell you a lie?

No.

Right. Well, come on, sit on my knee then. There's a good girl.

Right. Now then, little girl, what would you like for Christmas?

- A bike. - A bike?!

I told you, you're not having a bike.

You tell mummy that Santa knows where he can get one at cost.

She wants a go in your lucky dip.

She'll not find a bike in there.

Come on, look sharp. We've got shopping to do.

Ooh, look what she's found!

What's this?

I'm not paying two bob for this piece of old junk.

Uh, it's a lucky dip.

You know, she's just not been all that lucky.

I want my money back.

I tell you what I'll do.

Have you got fixed up with your turkey yet?

You what?

I've got some lovely farmed-fresh ones.

I tell you what. I'll knock the two bob off the price of a turkey. How's that?

I can't say better than that, can I, eh? Ho, ho, ho!

♪ Away in a manger

♪ No crib for a bed

♪ The little Lord Jesus KNOCK AT DOOR

♪ Lay down His sweet head ♪

Oh, hello.

Can I have a word?

Oh, yes, of course. Come in.

This way.

We've recovered half the trees.

And uh... here's the proceeds from the rest.

And what am I supposed to do with the chopped-down fir trees?

Sell them at Ashfordly Market?

Well, I'm more concerned about the children.

Exactly.

Today it's my trees and some poor devil's truck.

Tomorrow, it's hijacking a train and pinching mailbags.

I don't really think so.

They've got to be taught a lesson.

Well, I think they've already learned their lesson.

They were trying to raise the money to help their little brother.

He's been ill in hospital.

And you fell for a sob story like that?

I'm surprised at you, constable.

I would have thought you were immuned to hard-lucked stories by now.

I am. I think this one's a bit different.

And it's Christmas.

If it weren't, they wouldn't have stolen my trees.

Look, if word gets around the criminal community

that Lady Whitby's a soft touch

then Christmas trees will be the least of my worries.

Hang on, where's your two bob?

Ain't got two bob.

Well, if you've not got two bob, you can't sit on Santa's knee. Get off.

That's not a real reindeer.

Course it's a real reindeer.

It's too small.

Yeah, but it that cause it's a magic reindeer.

It's small so it can get in the grotto.

But when it pulls me sled, it swells up to as big as an elephant.

It's a dog with false antlers.

Hey, hey, hey!

You touch my dog's antlers, I'll touch your backside with my boot.

You want to arrest him, mister.

He's not a real Santa and he says he's gonna hit me.

If you come near my house on Christmas Eve,

I'll get my dad to thump you.

What's to be then, Claude?

False pretences or threatening a minor?

He wants a slapping.

He's got all the makings of a Blaketon.

It's gonna cost you more than two bob to sit on my knee and all.

What do you want Santa to put in your stocking

apart from a set of sergeant's stripe.

Well, I thought we might make a little deal.

I'll forget about this lot,

you forget about the Parkin kids nicking your truck.

What are you talking about?

I'm just selling a few novelties and a bit of poultry.

Oh no, what's the time?

Now closing time according to my clock.

You got any turkeys left?

Only one, but it's a sixteen-pounder.

Nah, that's too big for me and Kate.

Well, she's eating for two, ain't she.

Well, you please yourself. Take it or leave it, it's all I've got.

How much?

Well, for a mate, two quid.

- So, you're sorry, are you? - Yeah.

And I supposed your father sent you here to say that, did he?

No.

And what about your brother. Isn't he sorry?

Yeah.

Then why isn't he here as well?

Cos he's too scared to.

Oh, I see. And you aren't scared!

No. A bit.

And I suppose that you think being sorry makes everything all right again?

You know, life wasn't always like this for me.

I was one of 12 kids, not just three like you.

We had nothing.

But we'd never have dreamt to stealing.

The shame would have killed our parents.

What does your mother think about this?

She's dead.

She died having our Danny.

Well, I'm sure she'd want you to learn a lesson

and that exactly what you're going to do.

I've said I'm sorry.

What's this?

My dad tried to give it to the police.

but they won't take it.

So I brought it to you.

To pay for all the trouble you've had.

It's to pay for our presents.

You don't think you're going to buy your way out of this.

It's everything we've got.

I think you've said everything you came to say.

Parker! Get the Rolls.

Well, she wouldn't budge an inch.

Reckons it sets a bad example.

You must be losing your touch.

Well, at least Claude is prepared to forget about the theft of his truck.

So what happens now?

They'll be charged and go to the juvenile court.

If they're really unlucky, they'll be sent to approved school.

And probably the question of whether Fred's got control over them.

He loves those kids.

Just hold onto your report for another 24 hours, will you?

Did you feel that?

Yeah. Makes a change from it using my bladder as a trampoline.

You know this gonna be our last Christmas on our own.

Let's make the most of it, shall we?

Big dinner, put our feet up in front of the telly.

Did you get the turkey?

Um?

- The turkey. - Oh, yeah, yeah. It's in the kitchen.

Let's have a look then.

Nick!

I asked for a turkey, not an ostrich.

Well, that's all right. We'll get Alf to help us out.

I'll take sandwitches to work for a couple of days.

A couple of weeks, more like.

Anyway, I don't think I can get anything that big in the oven.

You see, we're the three kings.

Now, I take the first line,

you take the second line,

and he takes the third line.

Right.

Now...

(TUNELESSLY) ♪ We three kings of Orient are

♪ One in a taxi, one in a car.

♪ One on a scooter, blowing his hooter, following Ringo Starr. ♪

Bring the house down, that.

You're barmy.

And you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

I don't know.

(TUNELESSLY) ♪ O, star of wonder, star of light

♪ Star with royal beauty bright... ♪

Sarge, why don't we do everyone a favour

and lock them in until after the concert.

Don't tempt me.

Right! Nina and Frederick, out here, now!

Sorry, sarge. We needed a bit of practice.

What you need is gagging.

Or earplugs for the audience.

Now, can we get some work done round here?

Give us a chance, sarge. It is Christmas.

I am aware of the date, Bellamy.

Just because it's the festive season,

there's no reason to tolerate caterwauling, muted or otherwise.

Sarge?

What are you doing on the day?

Well, I haven't decided yet.

To me, it's the same as any other day. Only longer.

Well, if you like, you are more than welcome to join me and Kate.

We've got a huge turkey.

That's very generous of you, Rowan.

Black tie, I presume?

Eh?

Well, it's Christmas dinner, Rowan.

I like to dress up on special occasions.

Well, whatever you feel best in, sarge.

Thanks.

Kate's gonna kill me.

He won't come.

Won't he?

We have got a bit of a surprise lined up for him.

Oh, yeah?

Trust us, Nick.

Sharing Christmas dinner with the Rowans

will be the last thing that's on his mind.

WAILING OF SAW-FIDDLE AND LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

Claude.

I like you to meet Kevin. He's going to be Santa's little helper.

Oh no, he's not.

He's not the real Santa. And his reindeer's a dog.

I'm telling me dad.

But he's only pretending for the little ones.

Nice start, Claude.

Right.

We've made this special chimney for you to climb into.

- Oh, that'll be good. - Yeah.

The kids from the village school are going to sing

"When Santa got stuck up the chimney".

Good job I think you're a wonderful person.

Kate! Come here a minute.

- I haven't time. - Now, come here.

How was the turkey, constable?

Oh yeah, fine, thanks.

Kate swears by that butcher. Come on.

Here. Careful. Okay?

- Here we go. - In we go.

- Hello. - Hello.

There are still some seats available, Kate?

I'm sure we can find some somewhere, Lady Whitly.

Oh, please. Call me Janet.

Right.

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to shout

♪ You girls and boys won't get any toys if you don't pull me out

♪ My beard is black, there's soot in my sack, my nose is tickling, too

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, achoo, achoo, achoo! ♪

KNOCKING

Good grief! It's Freeman, Hardy and Willis.

I heard you had a message for me.

I thought you were one of these?

Er, we had a special guest.

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year ♪

- Graham. - Hello, Dad.

What are you doing here?

I've come for Christmas. I hope you don't mind.

Mind? It's great to see you.

These two fixed it up, did they?

Well, I called the station to ask if you'd mind me coming and uh...

Alf sorted it out.

Did you have anything to do with this, Rowan?

No, sarge.

It's a good job you got a big turkey.

We're having a slapped-up Christmas dinner with the Rowans, Graham.

Of course, that's uh, if it's all right to bring my son?

Of course it is. The more the merrier.

Great.

Well, I'd best get back. I'll miss the second half.

I'm singing. These two need some help.

They need all the help they can get. I'll see you later.

Not you, Nick Rowan. I want a word with you.

♪ On the eve before Christmas Day, when Santa goes for a ride on his sleigh

♪ Into a chimney he climbed with his sack

♪ But he was so fat, he couldn't get back

♪ Oh, what a terrible fright!

♪ He stayed up there all night

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to shout

♪ You girls and boys won't get any toys if you don't pull me out

♪ My beard is black, there's soot in my sack, my nose is tickling too

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, achoo, achoo, achoo!

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to yell

♪ Oh hurry, please, it's oh, such a squeeze.

♪ The reindeer's stuck as well

♪ It's cold up there, I'm all washed out, and Rudolph's nose is blue

♪ When Santa got stuck up the chimney, achoo, achoo, achoo! ♪

Achoo!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you'll all agree that

tonight's show has been absolutely wonderful.

And the proceeds are going to a very special little boy

who I've gotten to know rather well this evening.

Danny, take a bow.

Right, son. I think I've earned a pint.

Come on. Ah! Oh, oh. Oh, me back!

Oh, I've done me back!

Hello? Hello! Is anybody there?

Come and give us a hand. I've done me...

Oh, don't just stand there.

If I can be Father Christmas, you can be Lassie.

Go and fetch help.

Well, we've heard from the performers

and Dr. Rowan now informs me it's our turn now.

So, will you please join me in a chorus of 'White Christmas'.

Thank you, Claire.

♪ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♪ Just like the ones I used to know

♪ Where the tree tops glisten and children listen

♪ To hear sleigh bells in the snow

♪ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

♪ With every Christmas card I write ♪

Look, Dad!

♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

♪ Jack Frost nipping at your nose

♪ Yuletide carols being sung... ♪

Hello?!

Is anybody there?

Well, don't just stand there wagging your tail, go and get help.

Hello!

Hello?

Oh dear, oh dear. What a way to spend Christmas.

♪ Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow

♪ Will find it hard to sleep tonight ♪

Oh! Isn't it beautiful.

- Yeah. Be careful, Kate. - Look at our house!

So, is she really going to take them to Switzerland?

Apparently.

What did you do to her?

I thought you said she wouldn't budge.

Yeah, well, she must have seen the Spirit of Christmas.

I'm sorry about Blaketon.

So much for being on our own!

If they do the washing up, I'll forgive you.

I have one question, though, about that turkey.

- Yeah, well, I missed the butcher. - Uh huh.

And Claude had one going spare.

Does Sergeant Blaketon know?

What do you think?

Well, you'd better be extra nice to me between now and Christmas day,

or I might just forget and let it slip.

Blackmail is a very serious offence.

I'll come quietly, guv.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

♪ Riddle dee pat and sing to me life's story

♪ And bring to me life's glory

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me? ♪