Original subtitles

You think I'm coming off like Lady Chatterley with a plumber? You can't

into a Brooks Brothers man, Chris. I'll take art galleries over to children's

galleries any day of the week. Let's say a few years down the line, you and

Harvey get divorced.

Why would we do that, then? You've always said there were certain

men who work with their hands.

Very good.

It's a table. Uh, no, it's a cow.

Somebody up there is throwing dogs at a picture of my face.

Would you stop letting these artsy schmaltzy people intimidate you?

What did you do with my painting? Are you calling me a thief?

Hop on.

What is that?

What is that in your mouth?

You sit here stuffing your face with junk. You couldn't wait till lunch.

I was hungry.

Somebody up there is throwing dogs at a picture of my face.

What are you raging about?

First, I stopped to interview Dolores Gundelman, who has barricaded herself in

her kitchen with her rabbit St. Bernard Milton.

Then I break a heel off my best comfortable pumps, but this is nothing,

Christine, compared to my visit to Mort's Deli for our lunch. Were they out

the diet special?

The place is wall to wall with cavemen. You know the type.

Nasty when they're hungry.

So eventually it's my turn to order, and some guy with his knuckles scraping on

the floor pushes in front of me.

Did they take him out on a stretcher? Christine, I am a courteous person.

They pronounced him dead on the spot. I very calmly turn to him. I say, sir.

You got a fire to catch or what? Wait your turn. And then I order you a

Napoleon, at which point this fathead hits the roof. Right in my face. He

that's my Napoleon.

That's the last one. And he snatches it right out of Mort's hand.

And then I get with both barrels, Christine.

It's my muscled head. If you'd have been here first, maybe you'd have got it.

And I snatch it right back.

And then this guy starts yelling, you're lucky you're a lady, lady.

I love New York. Back and forth goes the Napoleon.

I'm sure poverty is even better.

How do you know I won? Never a doubt.

Now, listen. While you were out, we got a call. A burglary at the East End

Children's Hospital. Oh, Lord.

But before we go, I have to change my shoes.

You better eat every crumb of this. That's going to be tricky. You give me

address, I'll fix it in the gym. Hey, that'll be terrific. Consider it done.

right. Cagney.

There's it out.

Hey, Oscar, what's cooking?

Nick. Oh, is that working in the area? Thought I'd shoot by, catch you for

lunch? Oh, you should have called. I have lunch already.

That's no big deal.

Want to patron me? I might.

It's not me.

Hey. Nick, I'm a toot.

Alcaraz. How you doing?

Manny Esposito.

Hey, Nick, what's your nine to five?

I'm a plumber. He has his own business.

How long you kids been having?

What, are you writing a book, Esposito?

I'm watching Deli. Now, those guys really know pastrami. Yeah, Chris said

the best Napoleon's, too. Almost had one, too. This pushy broad cut right in

front of me. Snagged it.

Pushy broad.

Garage, Esposito, where am I off?

Duty calls. Thank you for the pastrami. Don't mention it.

Be cool, bud.

Back at you.

Pushy broad.

Oh, yeah, what a mouth, Donna. I very politely pointed out that I was there

first. But she was so stuck on herself.

You know the type? Probably a cheerleader in high school.

You!

What is it with you?

You want to file a formal complaint now? What, you're following me down here?

This is my partner, Mary Beth Lacey.

Mary Beth, this is my friend, Nick Amatucci.

Charmed.

Likewise.

I'm sure.

We'll squeeze our informant again, sir.

He'll come across.

You better.

I'm getting tired of you two guys coming up empty on this one.

Are we decorating, sir?

No, I'm just looking at a picture of my academy graduation.

Get out of town.

1961?

Great year. Now, look, don't tell me. Let me guess which one is you here.

and a left.

Whoa. Look how young you look.

You are aging very gracefully, sir. You see the guy on my right there?

It's Danny Cartman.

He made me with partners in my salad days.

What a guy. What a character. Still on the job, is he? What?

No, no, no. He's in Maui, that lucky stick. Yeah, he's head of security at

fancy schmancy hotel. He's flying in here tomorrow.

Oh, it'd be great to catch up on old times.

Yeah, we had him, too.

Every Wednesday night, you know, even after I'm a detective.

Him and his wife, me and Thelma.

We would get together, take in a movie, down a few.

Then him and me would arm wrestle over who was going to buy the next one.

Sir, my ex -partner works in a clothes store. Every time I walk in, he acts

he doesn't even know me.

No wonder. No, not my partner.

Danny and me, we were like brothers.

Well, I'm flattered.

You and Nick lugging it out over the prize Napoleon.

It had nothing to do with you. It's the principle of the thing. I was there

first.

So he's a little overzealous. I mean, big deal.

Overzealous? That's what you call muscling a lady over a pastry?

You notice his muscles, huh?

He's got a pretty cute tush, too, don't you think?

He's an interesting choice, Christine.

Very good.

So the two of you got off on the wrong foot. I mean, it took me a while to warm

up to Harvey.

Oh, really?

Remember that lunch at the construction site?

Here's this guy chowing down on two hero sandwiches.

He gets hungry when he works hard. He rips one of them in half, slaps it down

front of him. He starts lecturing me on Kissinger and Allende.

I mean, I wasn't fascinated.

Who asked it of me?

The point is, I gave it some time.

And now I love him for it.

It's big of you.

Miss Casebow.

God, I'm going to walk the plank for this one. Those animals, they cut it

out of the frame.

Right out of the frame!

It's all combed down, Miss Casebow.

Was the painting insured, Miss Casebow? Would I be tearing my hair out if it

were?

Why wasn't it a quarter of a million dollars? Look, I know how much it was

worth. I was going to insure it. But the premiums were obscene.

But me, the big administrator, I opted for an alarm system.

I was wrong, okay?

And the painter, Philip Greenlow?

Yes. He donated the painting two weeks ago. Yes. We were going to auction it to

raise money for a new burn unit.

But it was going to be left here on display.

Well, don't lose hope, Miss Casebolt. These things sometimes have a way of

turning up. Oh, sure.

Like the wall that I lost on the subway last week.

My junior year in Paris, I could have bought a green low for peanuts.

So you like his paintings?

Yeah, but that's not the point. The point is, today, it would be with a

Of course, I bought a VW instead.

As Eileen always said, if hips and butts were candy and nuts, every day would be

Christmas.

My cousin Eileen.

She was always carrying on about how she could have bought IBM at five bucks a

year.

Well, Pierre insisted I needed the VW to see France.

Pierre.

He was my spring fling.

I'd like to drive that VW down his throat.

Burn a little rubber through his intestines and squeal the wheels right

his... Don't carry a grudge. It weighs a lot and it doesn't have a handle.

My mother's cousin Roy.

That spring, I looked out my window, and all I saw were American girls with long

hair and short skirts.

Oh.

You were the best thing that ever happened to an expatriate. Well, I

you guys, too. Selling your paintings on the streets, sketching in cafes, trying

to get into our backpacks.

There's that great little bakery by La Coupeau.

Yeah, remember that witch who hated all the Americans?

Every dirty French word I know, I learned from her. Mr. Greenlow, the

Do you remember anybody expressing strong interest in it before you donated

to the hospital?

My agent has a list of inquiries.

When I was first painting in Paris, I couldn't get a soul interested.

Back then, I was sleeping in a bathtub, sweet -talking college girls into buying

me dinner.

Times have changed, huh?

Any of your work been stolen before, sir?

You referring to what the dealers do to me?

I wouldn't know about that, Mr. Greenlow.

I got it.

The Queens accent, I got right off.

A little bit of South Boston in there.

Am I right?

That's very good, sir. Phil, Queens is my stomping grounds, too.

You're kidding.

Yeah, I would have guessed Soho or the Village.

You're expecting a tortured man, loaded with wine, missing a left ear, huh?

Or maybe a guy with a beret and a limp wrist?

No, not exactly.

Yeah, guilty.

I play poker every Saturday night and I never miss the Knicks game.

You like it?

Very much.

Me too.

We've been checking out Mr. Greenlow's agent's list, sir. Filch. You put out a

description of the painting to all ports of exit? And a list of the galleries

that have gotten their hands dirty before.

We're going to hit those tomorrow posing as buyers.

Oh, two of my finest. William the Brave, the uptown side of crime, huh?

Lunch at trendy cafes, imported water and shining crystal. Wherever duty

Lieutenant. After all, this is for the children's hospital.

Oh. Well, just make sure you touch base in the afternoon. I may be leaving early

tomorrow. Right. Thank you, sir. A friend of mine is coming by.

Your old partner, sir? Yeah.

Time flies, you know what I mean? Yes, sir.

One minute, your life seems to be almost all future, and you and your friends

think it's going to go on forever, and then you blink, and you're having a

reunion.

Well, we do have a case, Lieutenant.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure, go ahead.

You look very good, sir.

Thank you.

Christine? I'm thinking thin leather gloves and a hat with colored feathers.

That would work, wouldn't it? Oh, Margaret, no feathers. Just wear your

things. Oh, so late.

What'd you get Harvey for his birthday? A monogram, bowling ball, 15 weight,

made in the USA.

We Lacey's always buy American.

Muriel has a hat. It has a sweet little brooch and a net.

We're going to art galleries, Mary Beth, not the Oscars. Just wear your hair.

I want to look elegant this evening. You could have looked fine. Would you trust

me? I used to do this all the time until I got bored with it.

You know, men should not be allowed to have birthdays until they've dated a

woman at least six months.

You asked me about Harvey for Nick Amatucci?

Birds of a feather.

I thought maybe we could flock together sometime. You know, give Nick a chance

to show you his good side, and you could show him yours.

When you and David were an item, it took an act of Congress to get you on a

double date. Now suddenly you're all for it?

I just thought that Harvey and Nick might hit it off.

Harvey would never jump a line and body check a person for a pastry. Oh, you

want to change the record, Mary Beth?

They have nothing in common.

You're right. Nick's league bowls on Tuesday night and Harvey's bowls on

Good night, Christine.

You go buy Mr. Amatochi anything you like.

I am going to go buy myself a hat with a brooch and a dozen feathers. I'll see

you tomorrow.

He's creative and worldly, sophisticated.

They were in Paris at the same time.

She should be going out with somebody like him on the younger.

Gary Hardy, something else.

You know what he's up to now?

No, no. She has to get herself involved with a plumber.

Yeah?

Well, you always said there were...

Certain advantages to men who work with their hands.

But this man is obnoxious and rude, Harvey.

Sounds like a match for Chris.

What did you trade that for?

You seen your lawnmower lately?

This here chapeau, Harvey, is featured in Vogue magazine, and I am going to be

properly dressed.

Stay away from the park, Mary, but that thing may have friends out there.

Hey, it's time for the good guys to take back the Bronx. No perp can outrun us.

No punk can outgun us. And no con can outclass us.

And no Danny can outclass us.

Hey, Danny boy.

BS, BS. I didn't expect you here until this afternoon.

I couldn't wait. Why am I glad you're here?

Let me look at you. Hey, you look great.

What is it?

What are you guys looking at? Come on, anybody, back to work.

Why didn't you get me? Why didn't you bring me the grass skirt to go eat?

It's invigorating how Sandrine uses repeated

forms to address the viewer in actual space rather than implying a

one. The irony is refreshing, but I think that his allusion to the pre

Light movement is rather obvious. Very obvious.

Ah, now we have several green rooms. Oh.

And for us, well, his work is truly silent poetry.

Truly.

Yes, yes, yes, it's very charming. What about the green low?

I seem afraid about the unfortunate test.

Of course.

You made a rather sizable offer to Mr. Greenlow for that very work, before he

decided to donate it.

Before? Such a pity.

First the red green low, and now... It's gone.

Yes, well, for us, that's what makes the work so tantalizing.

Plus pro -vacant.

Parlez -vous français?

Oh, j 'ai fait mes études à Paris.

Vraiment? À quelle école?

La Sorbonne.

This feels like playing softball at South Forth and Grammar School.

Audrey Feather, she was the captain, and she used to send me way out in right

field hoping that no one would hit the ball that far.

There I sat.

In the dandelions. Mary Beth, would you stop letting these artsy schmartsy

people intimidate you?

You were great back there, Christine. Smooth, yeah.

Grace Kelly in high society.

Yeah? I was playing my mother.

I flashed back on my cavity -prone years when she used to drag me into the city.

Every Saturday was our day of culture.

We'd have lunch in the Russian tea room, followed by either the symphony or the

museum.

That sounds nice.

One time my mother took a Saturday off from work and took me to the Radio City

Music Hall, and we saw the Christmas pageant with a full symphony orchestra.

She was grooming me to be her clone, but I got out in the nick of time.

After the movie, we were supposed to go skating at Rockefeller Center, but my

mother was so tired.

So we went home.

Still, it was a great day.

A great day.

Okay, Mary Beth, I vote for pizza.

Michael votes for chicken in a basket. Alice is undecided.

Whatever you want, Harvey.

Oh, come on, babe, you gotta break the tie.

What is this?

I'm figuring out what classes I can take this semester.

I thought you were gonna give yourself a break, babe.

There's an art history I wanna do and a music appreciation.

Two classes.

Tuesdays and Thursdays, starting at six.

Tonight you're supposed to pick up Alice.

Well, how about if we switch around the schedule, sweetheart?

That is a hell of a time commitment, babe.

Horrible. I'm tired of feeling ignorant.

Of course, me, I could take a night course until I'm old and gray, until I'd

never catch up.

To who?

When Christine was 19, she was hobnobbing with artists in Paris.

We all wish we had a trust fund, babe.

No, it's not that, Harvey. It's the experience.

It's what she learned from being there. Wouldn't you like to take Alice to the

Museum of Modern Art and be able to tell her all about the paintings?

We can take her, babe. We can take her and we can rent a cassette tour.

I want it to come from us, Harvey.

I'm trying to broaden my horizons here.

And if you're not going to be supportive, I vote for chicken in the

Mary Beth, you can't burn a candle from both ends. I know what I'm doing.

Listen to this, Harvey.

Russian and Soviet music from Glinka.

To the present.

Happy birthday.

Oh, Chris, you didn't have to go to all this trouble.

No, it ain't trouble.

This is something I picked up.

100 % silk.

Look.

Your pocket.

Hmm? You like it?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Good.

Where would I wear this?

What do you mean, where'd you... You'd wear it out.

What do you mean, where would you wear it?

You trying to drop me a hint or something?

Planning on us going someplace I don't have the right clothes for? We've been

out, what, four times?

You've seen my whole wardrobe.

It's a shirt.

I'm glad you like it.

I think I hear dinner burning.

What are you working on?

Juicy murder?

Still in painting.

Real snoozer, huh?

How'd you get saddled with that?

I asked to be on the case.

This is not some rip -off paint by numbers, you know. It happens to be a

prestigious piece of art.

You're pretty uptown for a cop, aren't you?

Well, there are some things more important than Monday night football.

Whatever blows your dress up.

So what did you do today?

unclog a drain.

Oh, that's very nice.

I spent a lot of time picking that shirt out for you.

You know, if somebody does something nice or they go to a lot of trouble, it

not inappropriate to show some gratitude.

Oh, yeah? You know, I didn't feel a lot of that coming my way when I drove all

the way across town to your favorite deli to bring you lunch.

Oh, so you weren't just working in the area.

Ah.

Well, I do not like mixing my social life with work.

Or is it me that doesn't mix?

You know,

You can't make me into a Brooks Brothers man, Chris.

It happened to have been a Pierre Carneiro.

Look.

This hurts fine.

I'm really tired. I've got an early morning tomorrow.

Well, what about dinner?

I have to go.

You may have me beat there, but I know I've got you clobbered in the health

department. Take a hike, will you?

Angina.

Ulcers. Are you kidding? The doc would have a fit if he saw me after a few cold

ones. What about kidney stones and the cholesterol right through the roof? Very

impressive. And the bowl of bran every morning. Hey, bran.

Here's to the breakfast of champions.

Danny, I was really sorry about not being able to make it to Vicki's

It's okay.

I really tried to get away for that.

I felt very bad about that.

That was four years ago.

But life goes on.

Here's to back then.

And to now.

What? The Lone Star Bar.

Well, so much for the last stop on every cop's beat.

Well, okay. Look at that, Danny.

Hold on. How many times did we end the shift right here? Every time.

Remember that movie house?

Yeah. Six bits and you can get in there.

And clean. Yeah.

Remember Freddy's Smoke Shop? Oh, yeah, sure.

What was it he used to tell us? A pack a day keeps the bad guys away.

Yeah, then he'd give you a freebie pack of those god -awful things.

The teamers.

Jack Whitten used to smoke them.

Yeah.

I guess there's no way she still lives there, huh?

Boy, wasn't she something.

Oh, I see.

What a smile.

What a girl.

I tried everything. She wouldn't give me the time of day.

She gave me the time of day.

Why?

You never told me that.

It's a secret.

Hey, Bert, there's something I want to ask you. Yeah, go ahead, ask.

Last Christmas, Thelma, she took a...

Vacation out to Maui. Yeah, I know. She sent David a postcard. I didn't tell him

her grandfather now. Well, Thelma told me.

She looked me up and we talked about the old days. You gotta see this kid. In

Green's his name. He is something else. Bert, we had a good time together.

What are you trying to tell me?

After she left, we started writing and calling.

Now, she's got two weeks vacation coming.

She's thinking about flying out again to see me.

I want it to be straight with you, Bert, before I tell her yet.

It says here that Greenlaw uses impasto in his paintings. What is that?

That's a green sauce made with basil and pine nuts.

Go ahead, make fun of me. It means that he applies his paint very thickly.

Uh, and what is this here?

Forbism? Mary Beth, we take a recess.

I want to make a noon meeting. You drop me off?

Okay.

Boy, beats alphabet city, huh?

I mean, I'll take art galleries over, children galleries, any day of the week.

This is a very historic block.

Huh? Do you realize where you are standing, Mary Beth?

Where?

Forty -five years ago.

My mother was coming out of that hotel right there, and her purse was snatched.

No kidding.

How many times have we walked the same street? You never mentioned that to me

before.

It's important to keep mystery in the relationship.

Anyway, before she could scream, this young beat cop appeared from just

ran after the perp, landed a flying tackle on him, and brought her purse

her.

Don't tell me. You got it.

From that moment on, Charlie Cagney was her hero.

Oh, Christine.

That's the most romantic thing I ever heard.

It's like Omar Sharif meeting Julie Christie and Dr. Zhivago.

Wasn't he pumping her stomach?

No.

No, it was her mother's stomach.

See?

Well, anyhow, they met.

better like to share with a burning desire raise your hand yeah i'm nick and

an alcoholic yesterday was my 40th birthday and i spent i uh

tried to spend it with a woman i really care about i know i bring a lot of

baggage into these things it's the um my wife and i my ex -wife

and i met when i was we were seniors in high school I was the captain of the

football team. She was a cheerleader. We got married that summer.

But after a number of years, how many tackles I made at the homecoming game

didn't mean squat.

My letterman's jacket wore out.

My wife wanted to climb, and it didn't take her too long to figure out that I

wasn't moving up.

So she left me.

That's a tough one to accept, you know, your wife thinking she's better than

you.

Well, I couldn't accept it, so I drank.

Well, I don't drink anymore, and like I said, I met this woman, and I'd really

like it to work out.

But there's something real familiar about the way things are going, and I'm

going to take that same ride again.

Okay, thank you, Nick.

Is there anybody else?

Or anyone else like to share?

Come on now, let's not be shy.

Yeah. Does anyone have a burning desire?

If not, I may point at you. You know how that feels.

Yeah,

my name is... Anything

on the run?

I'm on my own for like the day, sir.

No fun eating on your own, is it?

Well, sir, for me, it's like a little holiday, sir. Oh, yeah?

I find that when I eat alone, I eat too much.

Why don't you come on back to my office, Lisa?

Bring your lunch, too.

A little conversation helps the digestion.

This is very nice, sir. It's much better.

Never thought I would ever become a grass eater.

Everything changes, right?

Lacey. Sir?

Let me ask you a question.

A hypothetical question.

Hypothetical, sir?

Let's say a few years down the line, you and Harvey get divorced.

Why would we do that, then?

It's not working out.

You know, you are a little too...

involved in your career, maybe, and he resents that.

And instead of airing it out, he keeps it to himself and it eats away at him.

Oh, that would never happen. So, see, Harvey and I always... It's just a

hypothetical question, Lacey. All you got to do is fill in the blanks is all.

Yes, sir.

Anyway, a few years after that, a friend of yours, say, like Cagney, comes

along and...

She drops a bomb on you that she wants to start seeing your ex.

Seeing her?

Yeah.

As in dating him?

Exactly.

Your friend. This is your partner.

And you don't think that's right.

So, you couldn't make the marriage work out. Okay.

Happens.

Doesn't mean that you still don't care.

For that person?

I never thought that somebody else would take your place.

Especially not that somebody.

Not with your wife!

Anyway, what would you do?

Do, sir.

Yeah. Well, what would you say to Cagney?

Hypothetically, what would you say?

Well, they're dealing hypothetically.

This is a very hard question, Lieutenant.

No chance for me and her to get back together.

Then, if I try and stop it, we end up with three unhappy people, sir.

Instead of only one.

14th Precinct.

Sergeant,

it's a Detective Karen from the Port Authority Police.

Thanks. Here, Sergeant Cagney.

Oh, yeah? Where?

Uh -huh.

Great.

Uh, well, we'll be right down.

Thanks.

That was the Port Authority police. They found the painting.

Some guy, Kennedy, on his way to Europe.

The curtain closes on this case.

Good, Sergeant.

So I'm gonna wrap this sucker up, okay? Get back to some real, honest, down -to

-earth police work.

Fine.

No more purse -proud gallery owners.

Goodbye and good riddance.

Yes.

Very bad.

What?

You would, wouldn't you?

I would what?

Let me tell you something.

Harvey and I are never, ever getting a divorce.

So forget about it.

The nerve.

Are you calling me a thief?

That is pretty much how we cops operate, Mr. Blackwell. We find someone with

stolen property, we figure he stole it.

I'm a respected gallery owner.

Who steals paintings from children's hospitals?

I paid top dollars for that painting, and in good faith. Of course, that's why

you had it stuffed in the bottom of your Gucci bag. So, where's the bill of

sale?

I seem to have mislaid it. Well, now we're back where we started. You're our

man, and all the silk hankies in Paris won't turn you into nothing but a two

-bit thief.

I demand an apology.

My reputation. Yeah, yeah, we know. You want to... Put a lid on it. Yeah.

Mr. Greenlow insists... I saw the painting. It's a forgery.

You! What did you do with my painting?

I want to know what he did with my painting.

Let's go.

Excuse us, please.

Thank you.

Poor, poor man. I feel sorry for Mr. Green, though.

Cut the crap, Buster. You're in this up to your elbows.

Oh, excuse me. Have I missed something?

Has the law been changed?

Is possession of a copy illegal?

Would you pay top dollar for a copy?

First try to pass it off as an original.

Yeah, sounds like fraud to me.

I trust this little game won't go on too long.

I'd like to catch the next plane.

Well, your copy doesn't seem to be quite the bargain it was a few hours ago.

Maybe not, but I'm a free man.

Isn't it true, detectives?

Score one for the bad guys.

Blackwell is tickled, Greenlow is ticked. And, of course, the kid's

still out of burn units.

Not exactly one of our best days.

All right.

We'll make up for it tomorrow.

Phil, what are you and Harvey doing tonight?

We're painting Michael's bedroom.

I suppose you and the singing plumber will be wrestling over a pastry?

Maybe.

I might even give him a call.

You mind, Phil?

Harrison spent all day watching Oviedo Dottoli buy his wood fire up and tossing

up the best pies in town. Now his son Mario's taking over.

Charlie said this place used to be a hangout for the mob.

Why don't I fix food?

They knew how to eat. Here.

Try this.

Manico.

Here.

Come on, come on. Okay.

That's right.

That's great.

Right.

Hey, Nick.

Sorry about the shirt.

It was done. I overreacted. Old wounds.

No. You were right.

I think there's probably a lot more of my mother in me than I care to admit.

It's all right, Chris.

Come on. Tell me if this wouldn't do old Vito DiTorre proud.

Come on.

I brought you something.

The shirt was returnable.

A night at the opera, a little bird watching at sunrise?

Uh -huh. Look in the case.

Huh?

Rangers versus the Bruins will kick their butts! Got it!

We'll be able to see the blood on their jerseys, up close and personal.

So, uh, you still hungry?

Oh, I could eat this stuff all night.

Hey, uh, yo, Aldo.

Do this again. Double cheese this time.

How about a little mouthful of marinara?

My kind of girl.

Yo, Aldo.

This goes in the Christmas section.

Oh, Harv. Alice pitching a fit at the sight of Santa is not my idea of a

lifetime memory.

Just like her mother.

Honey, I've been thinking about those classes I want to take.

Look at that. Spaghetti sauce all over her face.

Quite a bit of her daddy in her, too.

I've been thinking about it, too, babe. I'll pick her up any night you want me

to. No, Harvey, you were right.

I can't become erudite in one semester.

Look at all these birthday presents, Harvey.

Look at that. We've spoiled her, Harv.

I'll go back in the fall, one class at a time like we planned.

Baby, it's not too late to get what you want.

I have what I want, Harvey.

What happened to taking it to the Museum of Modern Art?

You rent a cassette like everybody else.

What about a hobnobbing with artists?

Harvey, try to picture Christine undercover in a daycare center posing as

mother.

She couldn't do it for three minutes.

You stacking the museum up against the daycare center?

Are you telling me that this is not as precious as a Picasso?

Guess who I saw at the courthouse the other day?

David Keeler.

He'd won a big case on jail overcrowding.

Well, that's good. We wouldn't want thieves and murderers to have to share

TV sets.

He was wearing that brown three -piece suit that matches his eyes.

Mary Beth, why don't you go out with him?

Making conversation, that's all.

When I broke up with David, you said that you supported me. I did.

I do.

Right. But now you think I'm coming off like Lady Chatterley with a plumber.

Did I say that?

Just because I don't want to picket fence and dirty diapers does not mean

my relationships are meaningless.

I want you to be happy, Christine.

No, you don't. You want me to be married.

I said happy. I mean happy.

Nick makes me happy.

Good. Good.

Good.

You guys chalked in or what? Samuels was looking for you.

Big building just called. They got a telex from Interpol. You can close your

file on that stolen painting.

Recovered, sir.

Don't go popping a cork, detective.

It's a reliable and formative zurk. It says the original painting was sold.

gone. Yes, sir. You two are back on the board. Send in Esposito and Carrasco and

tell them the first two words I want to hear out of their mouth better be case

closed. Yes, Lieutenant.

I'll be there in a minute.

Sir? Yeah, what?

How is everything?

Well, we had a talk and looks like they're going to start seeing each

Must have been tough, sir.

If there is anything that I could do... Yeah, just go on out there and stop

breaking heads, Detective.

Yes, sir.

It's all the same anyhow.

Stolen or bought, all my paintings end up in a private museum or a very private

townhouse. I never see them again.

That has to be very frustrating.

Look, I paint for the rich.

And that's enough for you?

I get a good price.

I got this loft.

I got a nice house in Flushing.

I got an apartment in Paris.

Not exactly a starving artist, huh?

No.

But I do miss the girls with the long hair and the short skirts.

The painting is gone.

But hell, detectives, almost all my work is.

You just got to let go and forget it.

I'm no artist, Phil.

But like you, I do a job I'm paid to do, and usually that's enough.

You got an extra rag around?

Here.

I always put that off.

Oh, I haven't gotten a lot of practice lately. We've been repainting our son's

bedroom.

Very bad.

Oil base?

Enamel.

Baseboards and window trim.

Isn't this exciting?

Very good.

It's a table?

No, it's a cow.

Mary Beth, I think we ought to get going. Christine, sometimes in paintings

things look like what they are, but other times it's more abstract.

And so a cow...

It looks like a table, like that.

Right. When I started out, it was a goat.

Yeah?

Sometimes in my job, the cases, they don't always turn out rosy either.

But you have to let go, like you said.

That's not bad.

A regular Renaissance woman.

But every once in a while, you get a case that sort of sticks, you know? You

can't shake it loose.

And so then I have to do something extra to...

Push it through.

Tie it up so that I feel like I'm really a cop.

Traffic. Mary Beth, I think we ought to get back to the precinct. One minute,

Sergeant. It's a job.

Like any other. Like yours, even.

One queen's residence to another.

So what do you want me to do?

Paint another picture for the children's hospital.

He doesn't churn them out like Chevy's, Mary Beth.

Would that push it through, detective?

I think so, sir.

What do you want it to look like? A table or a cow?

Well, Greenlow feels like Mother Teresa. The kiddies get their burn unit.

We're turning into Michael Landon and Victor Prince.

That's good family entertainment, Christine.

What's next, Mary Beth?

Convince Jimmy Stewart not to jump?

Help Robert Montgomery win the big fight.

Find ourselves another set of wheels.