Original subtitles

Mrs. Lacey, may I be perfectly blunt?

Call me Mary Beth.

I can't believe she said that. Keep your mind open and your mouth shut, Chris.

You'd be surprised what you could learn. Your assignment is to extract a

confession. Is this where they teach the boneheads how to use rubber hoses?

Mothers do not rat on their sons.

Would you quit sticking your nose in other people's business?

As soon as you stop poking your face where it's not welcome. I got the

that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Dupe, nigga.

I want every filthy detail.

Noble.

Salon. Santa flush.

You ever notice how all the good words start with F? He's back, isn't he, Mrs.

Kenkel? He goes to Jersey, he gets bored up to his eyebrows, when all of a

sudden, an evil gleam comes to his eyes. Be careful, Christine.

My son has a reputation for destroying public property.

For God's sake, crime is running helter -skelter in our street, and you got to

come here and badmouth my son, all because he has a little small weakness.

Where is he, Mrs. Kankle?

What are you kidding?

The two of you with enough horsepower to kill half the antelopes of North

America, and you got to come here hunting down my Bernie.

All we want to do is help him.

Get him to somebody who understands his problem.

I want to help him.

Why not?

Maybe he can learn a new skill, like biting the heads off of chickens.

Well, it's true as hell beats his little act with a pipe cutter.

Christine, what do you want from me?

If he's in the closet you want, I should open it.

You're looking very good, Mary Beth. That's a nice sweater.

Yeah, if you hear from him, Mrs. Kenkel, we want to know.

Hey, he's my son.

You think he calls. He doesn't call.

Your children, do they write? Do they call?

Please.

All right, I'm going.

Sir,

it's the apartment.

Thank you.

And you're finished. Lock up.

Christine, you know where the crackers are.

Zoe cuts the heads off parking meters and stuffs her socks with nickel.

Do I care?

Hang hats on him. Use him as hitching posts.

Blame it on the video revolution, Christine.

He probably rented Cool Hand Luke a jillion times.

I don't care. The television dropped on his head, and he dreamt in technicals.

I had a dream about Paul Newman once.

Go ahead, Mary Beth.

Ridicule me. Change the subject.

What's going on?

Lieutenant Thornton signed up Carrasco and Esposito for a refresher course at

the academy.

Oh, that's terrible.

But I wouldn't give to see their faces.

Word is, they're not the only victims.

That's right.

Deputies are included.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Lieutenant, than to be serving this

department. But are you talking to Cagney, the CO, or the soldier on the

lines because there is a war going on out there, Lieutenant? Don't tell me we

bombed Russia.

It's the meter model, sir. An attack on parking meters is an attack on the

authority and fiber of this entire city. Gee, Cagney, I know just how you feel

about civil disobedience.

Let's blow up Thornton. The four of you have been signed, sealed, and delivered.

for the next three mornings into the wonderful world of interrogation.

Congratulations. Well, thank you, sir. Don't thank me. Thank Thornton.

Thank Inspector Nelman. It's his pet project.

Let's blow up Nelman. Lieutenant, they got rid of that stupid course years ago.

Well, they're thinking of bringing it back, Cagney.

All right, the four of you, do not screw up.

Because you know how Nelman feels about his pet project.

So what are we, his guinea pigs?

Think of it as a growth experience.

Dismissed.

If I have to play the Puerto Rican perp, I'm going right to the union.

Did Einstein go back to practice his multiplication?

Did Van Gogh go back to bone up on his brushwork? If you keep your mind open

your mouth shut, Chris, you'd be surprised what you could learn.

I know. It's the smell.

Smell triggers memory better than any of your standard five senses, right?

Well, I am happy to know that you occasionally listen to me.

Remember barfing your guts up after PT?

I knew it was going to come to this sooner or later.

Remember, get your hands out of your pocket, cadet. You should be prepared to

fire at all times. I had an instructor who ran us straight into a wall.

They made me carry the marching rock.

Excuse me?

Steingrove. Remember Sergeant Steingrove?

Did you get that same lecture we got?

Which one?

Clyde. Like in the river? In Scotland?

Ivan, like the terrible?

And? And, if I am seized by a terminal disease, I will sit on a keg of dynamite

and light it!

Ugh, but I would have given to have held that match.

Steingrove.

Think you bought the farm?

Yeah, but it wasn't dynamite, it was the BQE.

I heard he cut off a truckload of sewer pipe.

Great. Hey, huh?

Is this where they teach the boneheads how to use rubber hoses?

What, are you sensitive about rubber?

Manny, Al, save us a seat.

Mary Beth, would you get hold of yourself?

Holy mother of generosity.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Mrs. Lacey.

Happy day.

Are you all right?

Here, let me help you. No, no, no, no, please, please, please, please.

Don't, don't, don't touch.

Well, you remember Sergeant Cagney?

Drutnik?

Guess I owe you one for the battling Benzins.

Can you hold on until the star's clear?

Oh, none of us have that kind of time.

Please, Detective Drutnik, if there is something wrong here, aside from the

door, I mean... Wrong?

What could possibly be wrong?

I save your butt when it's in the sling, and what do I get?

A bouquet.

A medley of happy flowers which gave me hay fever.

Of all the rotten herbs.

Do I receive a magnificent dinner? A royal feast like a pinhead lawyer?

No. Have you been spying on me?

You know what your problem is, sweetheart?

You just don't know how to say.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am your instructor, Sergeant Clyde Ivan

Steingrove.

Clyde. He's dead.

He promised me he was dead.

D -E.

Clyde. Like the river?

In Scotland?

Ivan.

I -V -A -N.

Like the tarot.

I'm seized by a terminal disease.

You.

Both of you.

Nice to see you again, sir.

Why aren't you in uniform?

It's Detective Sergeant.

Detective Sergeant Cagney, sir.

Yeah, sure. I remember Charlie Cagney's little girl.

And Detective Second Grade Lacey, sir.

All right, Lucy and the rest of you experts, listen. All right, listen up.

To understand today's purpose, you must understand the science of shaking hands.

And it begins with the yes,

the yes attitude.

It starts with a friendly visit.

Hey, Johnny.

Nice to see you today. How are you? Now sit down, sit down.

You like sports, Danny?

Here you go. It's a good tea.

Would you like a cigarette? How do you feel about chainsaws?

Oh, you did?

A year ago. Well, that's smart.

Now, if the suspect happens to be a fisherman, right, relate to him some of

own personal experiences fishing to encourage him to continue the dialogue.

But remember,

Give them a little room. Remember the rules of interpersonal space.

At least 18 inches to 4 feet.

Now, in some of the Asian cultures, Mexican nations... Next stop, the

Zone. Japan, height!

Height! 6 feet.

Do roses and daisies go together?

I would have mass casualties.

Oh. All right.

How about this?

What do you think?

It's Carly's and the 39th Fair.

It's a conversation, Pete.

Good, good.

We're going to need it.

Tony, would you calm down?

He's your father for Christ's sake. I mean, if you're so nervous, take him to

Mama Leone's here. Tired of being yelled at in restaurants.

It's always the same.

He wants to retire, make me take over the family business.

So be assertive. Say no. What's the big deal?

There isn't anyone else.

I may be bent, but I'm the last Stantonopoulos.

Oh, big whoopee, Tony.

I mean, you were not put on this planet to sell olive oil.

You didn't exactly put up a fight when your father dragged you into the family

business.

For your information, being a cop was my idea.

Charlie didn't put any pressure on you?

He wasn't like that at all.

Besides, what does that have to do with olive oil and plate thinning?

Harvey. Harvey,

look at this.

I can't even believe I still have this.

Have what, babe? This.

A hunk of wood.

That's very nice.

Call it sentimental.

This is from the Academy obstacle course.

I caught it in my knee, going over the monster wall. Look at that. There's

blood on it, you can see. See that?

Yep.

That's quite a collection you have here, Mary Beth.

I can hardly wait to see what you're keeping on our marriage.

Oh, my Lord, Harvey, look at her.

Is that far out a lot, huh?

And there's Walter's old Buick. It's not a car, it's a Batmobile. Oh, my

goodness.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, holy heart drop. Check out the bitchin' babe in a uniform.

I have one of the original epaulettes here.

Yep.

I can still see you there in your spit shines in 38.

The trigger... Pressure is roughly equivalent to lifting a gallon milk jug

the finger, you told me.

All I could think of was, I'm fooling for Annie Oakley.

We were a couple kids.

I remember the first time you kissed me.

I felt those brass buttons up against my chest.

You tried to unbutton them.

Wanted a peek at the merchandise.

Tried the peaches at the A &P, I told you.

I was crazy about you.

I know.

How about a peek?

Try the A &P.

I got a better idea.

Uh -huh.

You still got the uniform in the closet?

Not a chance, Harvey.

Not even if you were to force me.

How about just the hat?

Detective Dubnyk did fail to maintain eye contact and bodily awareness. He did

manage to elicit a confession from Detective Renz.

Good work, Dubnyk.

Thank you, Sergeant. Just attempting to implement your techniques.

Oh, brother.

Remember your signal blunters.

And don't forget the five Ps, which are... Lucy.

Lacey, sir.

Prior planning prevents poor performance.

Remember, you're all being graded... I can't believe she said that. ...on the

basis of body language, which means that if you're sitting there with your arms

folded across the front of your chest, you're not paying attention to the

subject of interrogation.

You have your mind on the 415 leaving for East Cupcake.

All right, let's have the next team up there. It'll be...

Lucy against Garazza, followed by Cagney against Esposito.

Now, the crime is the attempted torturing of Gracie Manchin.

We will be watching.

Al.

You want to tell me about it?

It wasn't me.

I didn't do it.

It's no good, Al.

While your lips are saying no...

Your heart is crying.

Yes.

You know what your mother would say?

My mother?

Only a mother can know the pain of a son who follows the crooked road.

My mother always told me cheaters

never prosper.

If you confess, I think that she would forgive you, Al.

She would?

I would.

We don't want you, Esposito.

Here.

Relax. Make yourself comfortable.

Enjoy yourself.

You see, it's your partner that we want.

It was his idea, wasn't it? He lit the match and he forced you.

Right?

Manny?

Be smart, kid. Huh?

Talk to me.

You don't owe him anything. Do you hear what I'm saying, Manny?

Relax. Enjoy yourself.

Be comfortable.

Are we having fun yet?

Do you like to fish and hunt?

I can't hear you, Manny. Can you hear me?

No, I blow in glass.

Thanks, Lucy.

A C.

You gave me a C for that.

C minus.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

Christine, when some of us grade others of us, others of us have to learn how to

accept their grade.

Says who?

You invaded his interpersonal space.

I'm going to invade his face.

You threatened him.

I said it was a nice day.

Nice day to light matches?

You threatened to do a tune on him.

I was trying to bond with his love for music.

Mary Beth.

The use of fear and anxiety as motivating forces should be avoided at

The interview room should be private, the furniture comfortable.

There should be no glaring lights or signs of restraint.

And remember the rules of interpersonal space.

And signal blunt.

When you've let the horse crawl out of the barn... Oh, go on.

Do you mind?

Isn't that right, Sergeant Cagney?

Well, which is it, Sergeant?

Come on, Cagney.

I thought your roots were blue.

The class eagerly awaits your answer.

I'll go with the flow.

Is that a yes?

A what?

It's not?

No. I mean, yes.

You'll be glad to know that you agreed that to fall out of a four -story window

is the most effective deterrent against crime.

The West wasn't one with a registered gun, was it, Sergeant? All right,

that's enough for today, everybody.

Dagny!

Can I see you a moment?

Sorry, I have to buy some cement for a friend.

I'd be happy to wait, Christine.

Green, Madison.

Where did you say Hudson Street was?

Hudson, like the river.

Yeah, well, how the hell do you get there from here?

You know the new Coliseum?

No.

All right, you take the subway. I got a car.

You have a car? I got a car.

So, you, uh, you take it to, um... Ah, forget it, forget it. I'll just be

circling for an hour. Like, like the Explorer?

Yeah, I can just see it. I'll make my appointment out of intelligence. I end

being so stupid I get my car towed away. Yeah, they love their rules.

Five minutes and they got you on the hook.

Yeah. My boss will be praised. He'll dock me in a hundred. Sell my parentage.

Of course, uh, you could go with me, wait in the car. It'd only take a

I promised my partner I'd hang around.

A favor, Mrs. Lacey, please.

I've done a few for you, have I not?

Please.

Take your Persian Gulf, or the JFK assassination, huh? Remember the grassy

There is a certain photograph of a certain hedge where a certain man is

standing. Now, his name might surprise you.

Yeah, how about that hobo that was a spitting image of a known CIA operative?

Yeah, there you go.

The question, Mrs. Lacey, is what do we do with our fears?

Oh, boy.

Do you believe this traffic?

They never go home, you know.

They just keep circling and circling. It's a brain dead from all the exhaust.

No, I'm serious. You ever look over here from Queens? One big cloud of nauseous

fuel. Oh, well, Manhattan.

This city has certain cultural advantages.

Nah, you'll wade past the muggers.

How about that diverting little commute, huh?

Well, I'm used to it.

Oh, you got your own secret route?

No, I go up Utopia to the Harding Expressway, then the Q88 bus to

then the G or the N train to Roosevelt Avenue, and then the F train right into

the village.

Mrs. Lacey, you're an amazing woman. Oh, no.

I'm an average, everyday person. Two arms, two legs, two of everything.

I watch you, Mrs. Lacey.

The way you take chances.

You make it all work for you.

That was a nice comment you made about me last.

Mrs. Lacey, may I be perfectly blunt?

Call me Mary Beth.

Mary Beth.

Are we going the right way?

Um, well, what happened to Hudson?

You watch and I'll find it.

Great.

Oh, uh, I guess so.

So what did you and Droopnik talk about all this time?

Whatever people usually talk about.

This is her room, Christine. She's got to be around here somewhere.

Two words, Mary Beth. Watch your back.

There's something very strange about that Noodnik. I wouldn't be surprised if

stole your candlestick.

So what does Sergeant Steingrove want you for? Nothing.

He probably took your mother's heirloom and had it melted down to a giant

paperclip.

Did he tell you go pound erasers?

Did he let the little woman drive?

What exactly did the teacher say, Christine?

Mary Beth, would you quit sticking your nose into other people's business?

As soon as you stop poking your face where it's not welcome.

Nobody likes a butt -in ski, Mary Beth. Nobody likes a Miss Know -It -All who

sits there with her hand flailing away, begging to be called on with the blood

draining from her fingers. At least I don't sit in the back and throw

The dog does not eat my homework.

I'm surprised you can tie your shoes after all that flailing. Get the

chalkboards all nice and clean.

Would you mind if we got back to the case, Detective?

How many more parking meters must be headless due to our neglect?

Ah, there she is.

Saved by the smell.

Surprise, cookie.

We're looking for Bertie. We steal your boyfriend, isn't it?

Ah, Miss Lavella, what do you say?

Yeah, he's my boyfriend, so what?

Because what is it a crime to carry a lot of loose change?

Where is... Where is he, Cookie?

Search me.

We had a tip.

Bernie's always on me to give us my career.

You call this a career?

Well, it ain't the bullshit.

But whatever you come across, find us, keep us. I'm sure it's a very

job, Cookie. Yeah, yeah. You're outside day after day, breathing the fresh air.

It's like being a park ranger, only without the bears.

If we could just get on. At my house, Cookie, we are always careful.

It gets to the sink, either. No, no, no. I simply didn't want to crowd you.

Believe me.

At our house, we worry about you people getting cut by broken glass.

We tie up all our trash in those plastic bags. And they cost, you know. But they

keep the can a lot cleaner.

You know, we appreciate people like you, Detective Blake.

Must be nice working outside.

I used to like that when we were uniforms. Maybe I can be a little more

here. Being an essential part of the city's service.

Information cookie.

Now, do we get it?

Or do we haul you downtown, tie you in a chair, and keep you there the rest of

the day?

Hey, on city time?

I'd love it.

Well, let's do it.

Right now.

I'll try the truck over, pocket in front. I did not say I was in a hurry.

no, I insist.

Get back to your trash truck before we haul you away in it.

I think I would have had a good time. Zip it

up, Mary Beth.

Nica, now there's a small world.

How about this, Tori?

You know, the unconscious arrangement of seating is important to interpersonal

relationships. I don't know. You're the expert. I'm surprised he could find his

way into Manhattan alone.

We could always have Michael over here and Alice there and us in the middle.

What's for dinner?

Meatloaf, which is almost on its way. Why don't you try sitting here, Michael?

But this is my place.

Michael, in a loving, giving family, no one has an actual place. Then why don't

you sit there?

Sit, Michael.

Okay.

Tony, the fact is, I am not like you. All right? Nobody forced me. I wanted to

be a cop. Why don't you let me do this? I got it. Get the platter. Come on. We

got to move.

I mean, if Charlie had been a deep e -diver, you think I would have been one,

too? If you just pay attention to what you're doing. I know what I'm doing.

Hold the rack.

You hold it. It's going to be heavy, Christine.

It's my kitchen.

It's my turkey.

Hold the rack.

Come on.

Okay?

Go. There.

Oh, beautiful.

Don't panic.

It's all right. I've had emergency training.

Here we go.

All right.

Careful.

Out of the way. Back up.

Here we go.

It's all right. It's fine.

That helped.

Christine, what are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing, huh? I'm teaching him how to swim. He's in

there. He's sitting down to dinner right now. What am I going to do?

You're going to shove a wing in his mouth and sit and talk to him like an

All right?

He is not visiting royalty.

He is your father who sells olive oil, and you don't.

Capisce?

That's it.

Please.

There you go.

Oh, no. Sorry.

Okay.

Take it away, Tony.

I never would have believed it, babe.

Michael, sitting there like Spencer Tracy.

discussing the stock market and cutting his sister's meat, and all because we

moved his chair.

Marybeth, it almost brought tears to my eyes.

It's too weenie.

All of a sudden, he's looking at his sister's face instead of at her ear.

Imagine it, Marybeth. Consider it a possibility.

Harvey, what do you think of this? No.

See, the trouble with this country, Marybeth, is we don't open up. We

our position.

The whiskeys are one side of the table, us on the other. We need to reorder

things. We need to throw caution to the winds.

This is not a cautious choice for the Academy, Hoff.

How did the revolutionary boy, girl, boy, girl at the

summit table... Harvey, prior planning prevents poor performance. Are you

helping me or what?

Mary Beth, I am talking world peace here.

Wear the pink fuzzy sweater.

Mrs. Marybeth.

I consider myself a pretty good judge of people, but I sure was wrong about you.

Huh?

Oh, no, no, no. What I'm trying to say is that I think you're okay.

You got class.

And I'm real sorry we never got your candle thick back.

I know how much it meant to you.

Detective Dupnick... Harry.

I want to say thank you, Harry.

You know, yesterday,

first time a female in a potential panic situation didn't try and grab the

wheel.

You had that truck spotted the whole time, didn't you?

Irregardless.

Look, what I'm trying to say is that even though today is the last day of

I got the feeling that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Hey, Mary Beth!

Hey, Mary... What?

What are you doing?

Oh, it's you!

Who did you think it was?

Why are you dressed like that?

Just like what?

Like you were luring a battleship under the rocks.

Was that true, Nick?

Is there something I should know, Mary Beth?

Gagney!

Big day, huh?

Final exams?

Yeah. You sure you're ready for it?

She wouldn't miss this for the world, sir.

Well, that's good.

Your assignment is to extract a confession from Detective Lucy.

Lacey, sir.

Do I have to understand English?

Come, Mrs. Lacey.

What happens if I confess?

What do you think happens?

They skip the trial and ship me straight to Attica?

Oh, Mrs. Lacey, you like sport?

No.

Football or basketball?

Flooring.

That's funny.

Because your yellow sheet says that you are a professional gambler. Did you ever

play the lottery opposite?

See, when the state runs it, it's legal.

If I try and take an election, it's not.

Two busts in 1983 for possession of gambling records.

One bust in 1984. The cops flaked me.

Do yourself a favor, Mrs. Lacey.

Talk to me.

Maybe I can cut a deal.

Can you put it in writing? Trust me.

I've been sweet -talked by cops before, sister.

You know, there's no such thing as a written guarantee.

Well, then I am sitting on my hands until you make an exception for me.

Oh, yeah?

Well, take a deep breath, honey, huh? Enjoy your interpersonal space here,

because where you're going, they don't have any.

The courts are overcrowded.

I'll be out in a month. I'll tell your kids that.

Maybe human resources can find them a nice home. What judge is going to send

the mother of three?

Mary Beth, would you stop busting my chops?

I want my lawyer.

Ow!

No, no problem.

It doesn't hurt so much anymore.

I shouldn't have screamed like that.

I'll tell Harvey something.

A dog bit me. I got run over by a bus. I'm sorry, Mary Beth. The chair must

slipped or something. It was my fault.

I should have confessed immediately. I never should have listened to

That stubborn old... Everything I did was wrong. Everything you did was right.

I can imagine what Nelman's going to do to me.

Well, you did make false promises.

I did, you know.

And you did violate my rights.

I did not.

Hey, Lacey.

Sorry about your accident.

Esposito, it is night duty for you the rest of your life.

Any dirt job and you get it.

No, I'll blow in glass.

Katie. What?

Coffee tonight?

Seven o 'clock.

Open your mouth, you lose the other leg.

Don't bother to sit down.

Good news or bad news, sir? I got a call from Nelman.

Not good. Who got a call from parking control, who got a call from the mayor's

secretary who came out of her apartment this morning to find her meter

decapitated. It's a jungle out there, Lieutenant.

There's going to be a jungle in here.

Well, maybe Nelman would like to help us find him himself. Because it's your

case, Sergeant. You find him.

Oh, and, Cagney, about the academy.

Nelman couldn't wait to call me and give me a full report.

He couldn't?

And I'll tell you the truth. I must say...

I was surprised.

It was an accident, sir. No accident, Lacey. I'm sorry to hear you feel that

way. Knowing your partner, I'm sure she worked very hard for that aid.

And it's nice to see you willing to try new methods, Cagney.

Nice work, Sergeant.

I'll talk to her.

When? Tonight?

Over coffee?

There's an old saying, Christine, never mix business with pleasure. Hey, Mary

Beth. What?

Special delivery for you.

Must be a secret in my room.

Oh, you're beautiful.

Well, read the card. Well, read it.

Well, what's it say?

To a world -class student.

Coffee tonight.

Detective Dupnik.

Conference Christine.

He probably just wants to talk to you about class.

He talked to me about class in class.

Well, maybe he wants to talk to you more about class.

That's easy for you to say. The teacher asked you out for coffee.

So? So it's a lot different when the teacher asks you out for coffee. One who

looks like that?

One whose eyebrows go to the top of his head when he says coffee?

Christine, your coffee doesn't mean that.

Because if your coffee means that,

That's what my coffee means.

And my coffee does not mean that.

You're right.

I mean, there's coffee and there's coffee.

Oh, Chris, this is not coffee.

Well, I don't know what your coffee means, but I sure as hell know what my

coffee means. I'll tell you that much.

Well, I'm not going.

I wouldn't be quite near a coffee shop with that man. I have my principles.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

I'm married.

Cream and sugar?

Very married.

How about a piece of pie?

Would you want to see a picture of my family?

I have three lovely children and the smartest, handsomest husband I have ever

met. They make a very nice sponge cake, maybe a tuna fish sandwich. He's a very

good provider. And we have this wonderful relationship.

Are you also married to your partner?

Our house is on this wonderful...

Pardon me?

I've been watching you, Mrs. Lacey, and you are a terrific cop.

And you obviously don't get along with... Say what?

Well, uh, how would... How would

you like to dump the blonde big mouth and partner up with me at the 119?

Are you serious?

Think of all the commute time you'll save.

You mean you had the unmitigated nerve to lure me here.

Lure you? Against my will in the middle of the night. Six o 'clock in the

evening. What kind of a woman do you think I am? What are you, nuts? How dare

you?

How dare you?

I will never forget you, Christine.

You were loud, disruptive, argumentative.

You were one of my favorite students.

I always thought you hated me. Oh, because you had more talent than the

I wanted to make sure you lived up to it.

Christine.

You were the student I could never get out of my mind.

I thought about you a lot over the years.

Did I mention to you that Gary Grant wore silk underwear?

Harvey? Honey?

How you been?

Oh, darling.

I am so glad to see you again.

I saw you this morning, babe. Look, look, my sweetheart. I brought all your

favorite things.

Imported beer and gourmet takeout. A Cuban cigar.

Smoking six years ago, Mary Beth. Then throw it away. Look at it. I don't care.

Harvey. Harvey, I got a babysitter. We're going bowling tonight.

I went bowling last night. But you enjoy it.

Sweetheart, Harvey.

Sometimes we should do the things that you like.

Here. Take this.

Taste this.

Sit here.

Relax for a minute.

I'll turn on the vibrating chair.

What it comes down to is that he had a key to the academy and wanted me to

interrogate him.

He had a list of names he wanted me to call him.

Not one of them was by the book. You should have called me.

I called a cab instead.

And Steingrove called somebody else.

It's funny, Charlie never said there would be days like this.

Oh, well.

You'll spill your guts.

How did your coffee turn out?

And I want every filthy detail.

Chris. Mm -hmm?

The next time that I am ordered back to the academy... Uh -huh?

I'm going to bed for a week. Yeah? And so is Harvey.

Uh... Oh, Lacey.

Cagney. The lieutenant wants to see you. Your meter mall is struck again.

Thank you.

How many times have we been here, Mrs. Kenkel? Two? Three?

Three dozen?

Who's counting?

Christine, give me some paper towel there, please.

Your son is running the streets, cutting the heads off parking meters. Now, are

you happy with that? You consider that normal behavior?

Are you happy with the things that your kids do all the time? At least they're

not illegal.

Now, I am warning you, Mrs. Kenkel, if we have to find him ourselves, it won't

go down easy.

Like I told you the last time you were here and the time before that.

Mothers do not ride on their funds.

That's unbelievable.

Look at that shine.

What are you, some kind of special cleanser?

What?

No, I mean it.

How did you get rid of those unsightly spots?

Boy, you really haven't been around.

It's Mr.

Spotty and the little elbow grease, and you can make it shine like a mirror.

How about the grease?

You know, I've always wondered, do you keep it or do you throw it down the

Oh, honey, you got any idea what it does to the pipes?

Oh, you're talking 100, 150 for a union plumber.

You're kidding.

No, I don't care what they say.

Banana peels, chicken bones. You put anything more than little crumbs down

there, and you're going to be bailing for weeks.

Not to mention what it did to the commode.

Excuse me.

Oh, I hear you.

My late husband. May he rest in peace.

He used to flush his Havana specials.

You're talking source.

You can't be afraid to try new methods.

Police, Barney! Hold right there!

Coffee, Mary Beth?

Baby root beer would be better.

So, we'll get Michael to babysit Alice. We'll take her to an early show and have

some dinner. What do you say, sweetheart?

Detective Lacey.

Hang on, Harvey.

Special delivery from the 119.

Oh, listen,

Harvey. Something has come up.

Um, I'll call you back, honey. Okay?

Oh, I love you, too.

I don't care what this is. I don't want it. Take it back.

At least wait until you see it. Never.

I'm going to go to heaven, Mary Beth.

Sorry I can't join you.

Christine?

I didn't even mention it. Thank you very much, officer.

Fine. Go ahead. Open it.

I could care less.

I do not aid and abet the enemy.

Welcome home.

To the happy nun cop.

Long may she wave.