Original subtitles

This isn't a case, Mary Beth, it's a joke. These people are old, okay?

not criminals.

You're still the best thing we've got for this murder. That is a filthy,

lie. When I start drooling into my flippers, shoot me. You don't get it.

has got to do with guns and blood. Don't you ever say that again!

Ever! That's the end of murder?

And now we just switch over to petty theft? You win, detective.

He is stupid. So you had a fight and you pushed him out the window. Isn't that

what happened? You shut your mouth. I'd like to help you if you'll let me. I

don't understand what your problem is here, Sergeant. Today, my problem is

We are?

What are you doing up so early?

Mom, I'm always the first one up. Shut that door.

Mom, there's no corn cheeters in here.

I'll have some shredded wheat instead.

That's Harvey, Mom. He always eats that jungle -ness. Yeah,

but he grew up to be 18 pretty nice, huh?

What do you think, Michael?

Does that look like your regular everyday chocolate cake?

Yeah, Mom, I always eat corn cheeters. And there's no corn cheeters in there.

I'm sorry, I forgot.

Now, Michael, don't you dare tell your brother about the very special cherry

filling inside this beauty, okay? Don't even mention the cake. Yeah, don't

worry. I'm hiding it in the vegetable drawer, all right? Secret.

Mom, I don't care. I'm starving today.

How about some toast?

Mom, I want what I want, but I'm not Harvey, so I don't get anything.

Oh, sweetheart.

It is your brother's 18th birthday. It's kind of a milestone.

You know, we're making a fuss over him because he's going to be going away to

college very soon and we'll miss him very much. And that does not mean that I

love you any less or that you are any less important to me.

Once upon a time, there had been thousands of wooden shoes clomped along

same streets.

Did you know the early Dutch settlers invented Santa Claus? They brought over

Saint Nicholas.

Probably burned him at the stake.

Ho, ho, ho to you too, Buster.

You know, Chris, I keep having this dream where you say to me one day, gee,

Beth, what I wouldn't give for a nice, quiet case.

This isn't a case, Mary Beth. It's a joke.

Old people.

Dinosaurs. Two fossils wander out of a retirement home. They're probably

Parcheesi in East Teaneck.

48 hours is a long time to play Parcheesi.

You're right, Mary Beth. They're probably skydiving over the Atlantic

don't know, dropping millions in a casino.

Oh, look at this. Look at this.

Look at that little church there.

Hawk Jr. always wanted a train set.

I think he's a little old for that.

Maybe a year rail pass.

18.

Turns 18 today.

Today?

Really?

Well, we're not doing a big deal like we did with Alice. It's just family.

I mean, Muriel is not even going to be there.

I would have invited you, Christine, but the way he's been acting lately is you

have more fun feeding your oven.

You hated Alice's party.

You hate going to Queens.

You hate me now, right?

I don't understand what happened. They just disappeared.

Kaput. I mean, I can't figure it out.

Ask anybody around.

We will, sir. What about the family? Well, there was a niece around, but I

couldn't reach her.

That's terrific follow -up. You have people disappearing at will here. Wait a

minute, wait a minute. These people are old, okay? They're not criminals.

I mean, they're not incontinent.

They don't drool on themselves.

Once in a while they forget to sign out, so their memories aren't perfect.

How's yours lately?

You're telling us that Mr. and Mrs. Hoff had not one single complaint.

Life was just a bowl of cherries. They were in the pink of health.

Not exactly.

Well, what exactly?

The usual pet peeves, okay? The Democrats on Capitol Hill. Myrtle's

pressure. salty pickles, missing jewelry.

You get old, you get a little paranoid.

You're entitled.

Everybody has a theory.

Late midlife crisis.

Very late.

Amnesia, kidnapping, suicide, murder.

They've been reading too many detective novels.

You want to hear the gem I picked up? Sure.

You can make a deadly poison from geranium leaves.

Mm -hmm.

Where are we going? The dungeon?

No, the housekeeper.

Jerry Wicks. According to a Mrs. Neff, he has, quote, a terribly nice set of

buns, unquote.

If I were you, I'd just hang loose.

I mean, they're probably on some tropical beach engaged in a long, hot

Mr. Wicks.

Jerry.

Mr. Wicks.

How do you know? You believe this?

Swing and Sammy Kaiser died.

The world's worst singer.

No wonder he's dead.

Did you get a postcard with palm trees on it?

No, not yet.

But Mr.

Hoff, he's always down to the track. He's quite the man about town.

The jury's still not in on those plaid pants, though. Hey, you start doing

medleys, you know your career's in trouble.

How long have they been married, Mr. Wick? I don't know. They've both been

married before.

I tell you, they keep the joint jumping.

Myrtle, she's always running around, playing canasta, schmoozing with the

friends.

The older generation.

I mean, you really know where it's at.

Thank you.

What'd you get?

That was Denise.

According to her, Mrs. Hopp canceled dinner plans the same night she

disappeared. She never gave a reason. It was a period of sudden amnesia.

Now we're left with suicide, kidnapping, and political assassination.

Do I know?

The out -of -state relatives haven't heard a thing. The uniforms are still

soaking late in pictures.

Have you seen any evidence of foul play?

Two empty beds, big deal.

Christine, every case is a big deal until we, as professional detectives,

out it's complete nonsense.

Fine. I just don't want to hear any lectures on the dignity of old age. When

start drooling into my slippers, shoot me. Me?

I'm going to stay young forever.

Well, thank you, Peter Pan.

Personally, I'm looking forward to maturity.

Yes. I'm going to be one of the hippest old dudes in town, cruising around in my

space mobile, hitting on all those Martian chicks.

Well, if you ask me, youth is overrated. All those sweaty palms and pimples.

My mama, she's hot. She can dance me off the floor. I can't wait. She's coming

for Christmas. Oh, that's great. I'd like to meet your mother, Jordan. You

Christmas ain't Christmas without family. You got that right.

Tell Junior I said happy birthday.

Chris, when did you... How did you... Last week.

I'm just starting to get this aunt business down.

Charlie said that nobody would ever love me like he did.

It's a father's curse.

My sponsor said I'm supposed to turn all this stuff over.

I let gods do about Charlie.

And I'm trying.

Because I want to remember the good part.

I do, when we were pals, you know.

How he used to make me feel safe.

And how when I was a kid, we'd go riding in the car, and I'd look at his hands

on the steering wheel. It sounds dumb, but...

They were big and they're full of freckles.

And whenever I'd look at them, you know, I just knew that nothing bad would ever

happen to me.

We'd go uptown and watch them light the big tree.

Every year we'd go.

A little stupid ceremony, you know, but... I always

made Charlie cry.

I don't know.

It's just sort of Christmas all around everywhere.

I hate every jingle and every beard and

every red suit on every corner.

I want my dad.

It's just not Christmas without him.

Yes. Happy birthday, Harvey.

Happy birthday, sweetie.

Boy, are you bossy. Come on, blow out the candles.

My kid's stuffed.

Feel my... Yeah!

Are you going to get the cake, Dad? Okay by you?

All right.

Christine even sent a present. She wanted to be here. But this year, and

a couple things from us, and your grandmother will give you hers when you

her. Be careful, Dad. There's cherries inside. Michael.

This is from Michael.

And this is from Alice.

Go ahead.

Open your baby's fist.

Do you like it?

It's for all those late -night cram sessions at the dormitory. Did it fit

hand? Yeah.

Thanks, Alice.

Yeah, this is for your brother.

Go ahead. Open the next one.

Open Christine's. Go ahead.

Come on, you used to go through wrapping paper when you were a kid like it

wasn't there.

What is it?

Open, open, open, open, open. Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, look at this. Huh?

Oh. Hey.

Harvey, look at what Christine got for Harv Jr.

It's a little big, isn't it?

It's supposed to be.

Oh. It's pretty okay.

Okay. Uh, listen, uh, Michael, why don't you put your, uh, sitter in the

playpen, huh?

Mama will take you upstairs in a minute, sweetheart.

Thank you.

It's kind of a little kid's birthday party, huh?

I mean, you're 18 years old. You're a man, really.

But all I ever had was little kids to give birthday parties for.

I mean, except your father, you know. We go dancing or something.

We couldn't really do that.

Anyhow, next birthday, when you come back from college, Christmas break,

you can have any kind of party you want.

You're my first baby to grow up.

What? Oh, excuse me. Oh, it's not champagne, but the cork at the ceiling.

This way, Michael can have some, too. Michael!

Alice is playing with her giraffe, Mom. Open Michael's present now.

If you don't like them, I can use them for my art class.

All right, everybody.

A toast to the new man in the Lacey family.

We all love you, Harvey.

Okay.

Okay. Time to open the last present. Last present.

Sure. I really like the cake, Mom. I like the cherries. Open it. Very good.

Yeah, it's real nice.

Like that? Yeah, thank you. What is that? What? In the pocket there.

Oh, Mary Beth, I think somebody snuck something in there when we weren't

looking. I wonder what it is. You guys sure are corny. Drink your cider.

It's a gift certificate for a computer.

This way you can pick out a couple of the particulars yourself.

Amber screen or green?

Different keyboard.

Everything is covered. The man in the store said it was compatible to ones in

major colleges.

So what do you think?

Does it play video games?

Shut up.

Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad.

The thing is, I'm not going to college.

Of course you are.

It's not what I want to do.

I always told you I was never that hot on it.

Yeah, sure, Harv. That was last year. We figured, you know, you matured a little

bit, maybe started thinking about your future.

Harvey, this is Harv Jr.'s birthday party. We could discuss this decision

No, we can't.

I've been thinking a lot about my future.

And today...

I made a decision as an adult.

Yeah? So?

I've enlisted in the Marine Corps.

I can't believe it.

I mean, you don't want a kid.

A stroke, a heart attack, you expect that from this.

How exactly did you discover the body, Mr. Wicks?

Are you kidding me?

I mean, take a whiff.

You know, I'm used to the smell of the garbage, but this is like... I mean, how

long has he been down there?

A couple of days.

Where is Mr. Nunzio?

They called, but he's away at some conference.

What do you think happened?

Have you or anyone else heard from the victim's wife?

Victim?

You don't think it was a suicide?

The wife's close friend that you mentioned, Mrs.

Minton? Where can we talk to her?

She's in 11F, but she spends the morning sunning up on the roof.

And Conrad, her husband, take a guess where he is. He's probably out jogging.

If you hear from Mrs. Hoff, would you call us first, please?

You think she did it?

Do you?

Of course not. It was probably an accident, wasn't it?

Thank you, Mr. Wicks.

Have you found her?

I've called and called. Did Mr. Hoff have reason to commit suicide?

What?

Was he despondent?

Did he express such feelings to you or your husband? Brendan loved life.

And Mrs. Hoff, did she mention any problems in their marriage?

Myrtle, I don't know.

They seemed fine.

You've described her as your best friend, is that correct?

She is.

So Mrs. Hoff confided in you?

Yes.

Yet she left with no warning, without so much as a word.

I'm sorry, I... I don't understand.

What about the jewelry thefts? What about my wife's cameo brooch? You don't

how they got along or even if they got along.

Do you have any idea where Mrs. Hoff might be?

Here. Feel that.

Go ahead, feel.

It's definitely an arm.

One word, honey.

Isometrics.

Yes.

You should have seen Mr. Universe.

Say, it's a sad day when your biggest thrill is having all your own teeth.

So what's the wife like?

Very emotional. Her two dearest friends are dead or missing, you know, that type

of thing.

Oh, I do have a laugh for you.

A Mrs. Prance title touched me to tell me that Mr. Hoff is very, or was, very

active. In her own words, she said, quote, so many women, so little time,

unquote.

Old people get horny, too.

As old and as ridiculous.

Harvey's mother bought this gigantic bottle of my sin before she went off on

that cruise.

Yeah? Maybe Mrs. Hoff found out her husband was fooling around on a 70 -year

-old crime of passion.

Stranger things happen.

Mary Beth's relaxed.

Harv Jr. can't even lift until he graduates.

Yeah, that's what we thought, too.

On top of everything else, he snuck around behind our back. He took a high

school equivalency test. He's got his diploma.

Signed his papers.

Leave his side of it.

Are we talking about the same Harv Jr.? One of your bloody murderers ahead of a

flu shot?

Oh, he'll be lucky if he lasts the bus ride to boot camp.

I didn't listen to him. I didn't respect his opinions.

Now he's making his own papers.

Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself?

His whole life, Tiffany.

He's thrown his whole life away.

Hmm.

There.

Now it looks like a slum with tinsel.

Damn that Tiffany Rinaldi.

It was her dumping him. That's why he's doing it.

I thought you were supposed to run away to the Foreign Legion when he had a

broken heart.

Just kidding.

Why the military? Why couldn't he sign up for the Peace Corps, take a trip

around the world?

Runs in the family, I guess.

You know, police, ranks, uniforms, procedures.

Oh, that's nice. Go ahead. Blame it on me.

I'm just trying to bring a little perspective here. Save it for your

Christine. What's the problem? They're good for him.

Yeah, to make him a real man.

Real man, Jade.

I did not raise my son to march around like a moron.

Huh. It's okay for somebody else's son.

Someone who isn't going to college.

Maybe someone poor should march instead.

I meant anybody's kid. I've got a son in the Air Force, and I think that's fine.

I bet that you'd rather go home early. So what is your pick on Mr. Hoff?

Murder or suicide?

Maybe he just fell.

And maybe he had help.

His wife takes off the night he dies? What's that, coincidence?

Well, what about the jewelry thefts? Let's just pull the old case file.

You like Mr. Hoff as the thief?

Maybe someone caught him then. Or maybe he caught the thief at it.

You want to run this past the lieutenant?

What, pull him out of his hush -hush meeting downtown? Are you crazy?

All right.

Then we're on the missing jewelry descriptions around the local pawn shops

tomorrow.

I can hardly wait.

I'm an adult.

I signed a contract.

Yeah.

Well, there are things that can be done about that, Harvey.

What do you say?

We could contact a lawyer.

We could explain to the Marines that although your intentions were good...

acted hastily. You hire a lawyer to weasel me out of a promise made on my

to my country. Get off it, Harvey.

You get off of it. I'm saying what I believe. You don't know what you

Oh, I get it, because I don't think like you. I'm stupid, right? It's got

nothing to do with thinking. This has got to do with guns and blood. Harvey,

please. What do you know?

What do I know?

I was in the army, remember?

You never left the states. So you will, I, and get blown up in some barracks to

prove your point? Stop it. Stop it.

saying is that there are still options here and that we are willing to help

I made a pledge on my honor and I'm not going to squirm out of it.

I don't want to.

I want to be a Marine.

And if you two hate me for that, then too bad.

Honey, does this have anything to do with Tiffany and things not working out

way that you had hoped?

Breaking up with Tiffany has nothing to do with serving my country.

It's that man, isn't it?

Your old pen pal?

Filling you with a lot of nonsense, making up a lot of stories about the

Grandpa doesn't think I should go either.

Then why are you going to throw four years of your life away? For what?

You don't get it.

Either one of you.

Honey, if you don't want to go to college right away, that's okay.

Just take some time off.

Think.

Travel around the country a little bit.

We'd be happy to help.

Harvey, come back here. We're not finished talking.

Harvey!

Mrs.

Hoff, we've been looking for you for four days. Why didn't you go to your

niece's?

Brendan liked to bet the ponies.

My niece didn't approve.

Lindsay said he should be more frugal.

She and I fought sometimes.

So you went to a friend's house instead of her? I didn't want to fight.

You remembered to cancel dinner with your niece, but you forgot to sign out

the home.

Well, that wasn't necessary.

Maybe you were in a hurry.

Brendan knew where I was. If anybody knew... Brendan was dead.

What do you know about it? Who murdered your husband, Mrs. Hopp?

Murder?

Oh, dear God.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm sorry, but nobody told me.

Why are you asking me all these questions?

My Brendan is dead, and there's nothing left.

We know this must be difficult, Miss. Did you kill your husband?

What? Well, let's quit kidding each other, Mrs. Hoff. It was no secret about

your husband.

Detective Lacey. What are you talking about? We know about your husband's

women.

What other women? I don't understand.

You knew that he was having affairs.

That's a lie.

You make her stop. You knew and you didn't like it. A man sleeps around and

makes his wife mad.

You shut your mouth. So you had a fight and you pushed him out the window. Isn't

that what happened, Mrs. Hoff? No.

No, I will not stand for this.

You have no right.

You call yourself a bully?

What do you know about decency?

What do you know about respect? Nothing.

You... I'll tell you one thing, young lady.

You don't know anything about love.

You tear people's lives apart.

was murdered.

Murdered.

He's not some piece of trash for you to spit on.

She'll cut her loose now. She'll disappear again.

We have nothing to hold her on. How about motive?

Give me a break, Mary Beth. That woman's as guilty of killing somebody as you

are. I did kill somebody.

And Brendan Hott betrayed his wife.

Then turn your bazookas on him.

That lady doesn't need your grief.

Duty calls, Lacey. The PAL needs volunteers.

I don't understand what your problem is here, Sergeant.

Today, my problem is you.

So why don't you take some personal time, get some rest, and talk to Harvey

I was interrogating a murder suspect.

Fine, and I wish I'd got her alibi.

Unless, of course, you'd like to condemn her right now. Excuse me, that means

report on Brandon Hoff.

You're welcome.

What time's Sam's due back? I don't know, Detective. I'm not his secretary.

Well?

Fourth of death.

Seventh medical vertebrae resulting from a fall of 40 feet. Multiple bruises on

both upper arms appear inconsistent with fall. Looks like there was a struggle.

We'll get suicide and accident.

Any impressions, evidence?

Size of bruises indicates injuries caused by large hands, probably male.

If somebody fought with Brendan, I didn't hear it.

Is Myrtle okay?

Who do you think would have reason to kill him, Mr. Wicks?

I don't know.

Well, take a guess.

Well, Brendan was a flashy old guy. Maybe he rubbed somebody the wrong way.

But you got along with him, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Brendan never gave me any trouble.

Not like some other people, I know.

We understand that he may have been, how should we say it, less than faithful.

Brendan?

No kidding.

Good for him.

Listen, ladies, I'd love to hang around, but I got a lot of work.

All right, there's just one more question, Mr. Wicks.

There have been numerous complaints about stolen pieces of jewelry. Whoa,

wait a minute, wait a minute.

I mean, that's the end of murder?

And now we just switch over to petty theft now? Is there anything to these

complaints, Mr. Wicks?

Look, these people, half the time they find their stuff the next day in a sock

drawer. You're saying it doesn't happen? I'm just saying.

Somebody bumped off old Brendan.

I'd be a little more concerned about that.

Oh, you again?

Oh, Mr. Minton.

This is my partner, Detective Lacey.

Getting like old home week around here. No pun intended.

Excuse us, Mr. Minton.

I thought you came back to see this.

What?

Pretty impressive, eh?

Friday, August 7th, 1942?

Uh -huh.

You really don't know?

Guadalcanal. Bayonets, bullets, and bonsai.

We have to go, Mr. Minton. I took this baby off a youngster.

Thought he could run it through old Connie.

We showed Tojo what we were made of.

Sergeant Connie.

No time for an old soldier, eh?

Well, it's just that we have other people that we need to talk to.

That's okay. My kids don't want to hear my stories either.

Oh, Mr.

Minton. I bet you've never seen one of these.

It's a purple heart.

I caught a piece of shrapnel right, right, uh, right about here.

Mr. Minton, we have a death to investigate.

Brandon? No backbone.

Probably killed himself.

We have reason to believe he was murdered, sir.

Who'd waste the time?

Did you hear anything unusual the night he disappeared?

Wasn't a real man anyway.

Not like my buddy Frank.

He took one right in the face for me.

Sergeant, we're wasting our time here.

All Brandon cared about was partying and womanizing.

Womanizing? Open your ears, girlie. It's fornicating.

So you say he had affairs?

Man had no honor.

Didn't serve his country.

Oh, they said I was too old even then.

And I rubbed out my share of kamikazes.

And now you own one of their TV sets.

I'll meet you in the car.

Would you excuse me, please, Mr. Mann?

I was running a check on all the employees.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

Are you taking up residence in there?

Mary Beth? I'll be out in a minute.

Are you crying?

Mary Beth, I'm not going to leave.

All right.

Until you talk to me. I'm not crying.

All right.

I think we also ought to run a check on Conrad Minton.

Very bad.

Did you hear the way he talked about Mr. Hoff?

Yeah, I'm running him, too.

But I think you're wrong about him. Just because he was a soldier doesn't make

him a murderer.

Harvey, do you think it's going to be all right, you know?

He'll be coming home.

He won't be a boy anymore.

Well, he'll still be his mother.

I woke up this morning. First thing I did, go rush over and look in the

And there was a person looking back at me.

Oh, Chris.

She looked so old.

Mary Beth.

I mean, I turn around, and he's walking out the door.

It's some young man I don't even know.

And I can't stop him.

Kids have to grow up.

Oh, it's crazy.

It's crazy.

My firstborn child is marching off to war, maybe.

And all I could think about is that he's not going to be there for Christmas

dinner.

I don't think it's crazy.

No?

He likes to help me make the stuffing.

He's probably going to be eating those fake potatoes, you know?

The kind that they mix up out of those lousy flakes.

He'll hate them.

The other day I was passing by Macy's and

I looked in the window and they had these gloves in there.

The deerskin ones, you know, with the fur lining.

And I thought, those would be perfect for Charlie.

And I was halfway through the door before it hit me.

Hey, I bought them anyway.

There's a big empty hole that nobody else will ever fill.

But I have to believe that it will get easier.

We want you with us for Christmas, okay?

I didn't tell you that story if you'd invite me over. I know that.

I was planning to invite you. We want you over for Christmas, okay?

Thanks.

Probably have plans with David anyway, huh?

Christmas Eve.

Oh, so... So I'll be there Christmas Day.

Oh, great.

Oh, that's great.

We'll do it super special, Christine. We'll open packages and sing songs, the

whole bit.

Sounds nice.

You blow out the candles this year. I'm giving your name to the JDL. I promise.

Detective Lacey.

Go ahead, Jody. I wish it was a turkey sandwich. What? I've got the background

info on the senior serenity name.

There's not much. Some DMV problems, a few minor misdemeanors.

Mr. Wicks does not pay his parking tickets.

Ah, Conrad Minton is the heavyweight here. Fined for disorderly conduct,

Probably threw an egg at an anti -war protester. Nothing on Nunzio?

Ah, near the bottom. Zilch.

I just put Nunzio through the Cagney on three.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Thank you, by the way.

Did you talk to her niece?

All right, we'll be in touch, Mr. Nunzio.

Listen, give me a call if she shows up or if you hear anything.

Yeah, thanks.

Myrtle Hoff's gone.

She's packed up in that senior serenity without a word to anybody.

Not the niece?

She told Nunzio that it was news to her.

Why would Myrtle leave now?

Here's the background checks.

Everybody's clean.

Not so hard to figure out why she'd go.

You forgetting the M .E.'s report, Mary Beth? It was probably a man.

I'm not saying that.

Who'd want to go back to a canasta game knowing her partners maybe slept with

her husband?

I did that woman a big favor, huh?

Talking out early, Chris.

Personal time.

May I help you?

Hello, Father.

Yes, I just wanted to light a candle.

It's for my dad.

He passed away this year.

And he always would come and light a candle for his parents.

He came every Christmas.

So I'd like to do the same.

Sorry.

Where's Harvey Jr.? I have good news.

We were having a discussion when suddenly he had to get away from all the

air.

Is he coming home for dinner?

Who knows? He's an adult.

Maybe he'll spend the night at the roller rink.

Harvey, I did that last week.

Yeah, I know.

But I knocked over Colonel Ollie's soup of polka when I was grabbing for a beer.

That stuff, it reeked, Mary Beth.

I went and talked to a Marine recruiter, Harvey.

You joining up, too?

There could be a compromise here. This man tells me that there's all kind of

options for today's soldier.

I mean, he doesn't have to be in combat.

He'll get his education and there's computers, there's business skills and

engineering. You know, Mary Beth, I can't believe that you bought this crap.

He could specify his training in his contract.

Once you're in, Mary Beth, forget it.

Besides, our boy just told me he wants to be a grunt.

A fighter crawling through the mud with a knife between his teeth.

Harv, if we tell him that we're not against this decision... Mary Beth,

it. It's smoke!

It's the military, Mary Beth. It's about death. It's about men sending boys to

blow each other up. Oh, hey.

You know, I can't believe it.

Our son is waiting for another Grenada. He's waiting to join in. He is waiting

to die for his country.

Shut up, Harvey.

Shut up.

Don't you say our child is going to die.

How dare you say that. Don't you ever say that again.

Ever.

Mary Beth, I am so sorry.

I'm just scared of him. That's all.

Harvey Sr. was a bullheaded boy himself.

Yeah, he still is.

So? Like father, like son?

What did you do when you and Harvey joined the Army?

I put his picture on the mantle.

Oh, God, I was so proud of him.

Well, the world is changing, Miriam.

When the women stop being proud of stuff like that, maybe the men stop going to

war.

You know, There are some things you and I disagree about, Mary Beth.

So how did you live with the empty room?

Meryl, I hate what he's doing.

You're going to stop loving him, too?

Trust me, I'll be at the gate, so you look for me here.

Hold on, Mama Sergeant.

Some jewelry turned up in a pawn shop. Details on your desk.

Thanks. Is Samuel's in?

Coleman said he's downtown again.

Okay.

Mom, please don't bring your preserves.

I bought a special dress for New Year's Eve, and I'm mean to fit into it.

Yeah. Yeah.

See you at the airport, Mom. A minute to take?

I guess yesterday we kind of punched each other's sun buttons.

No hard feelings?

No. I'm sorry, too. I started it.

Is your son coming home for the holidays?

He's in Greenland.

Maybe in January, though.

Well, happy New Year.

Thanks.

Morning, Mary Beth.

Morning, Sergeant.

Can I get you anything?

Charles lived in my desk, remember?

Two of the stolen pieces of jewelry from Senior Serenity turned up.

Does the description of the guy who pawned them sound familiar to you?

Caucasian, 25 to 29, sandy hair, well built.

You can't do better than drag work then, huh?

Go ahead.

I can do my job.

Very bad.

I'd like to help you if you'll let me.

Can you make it all go away?

No. But I can get you coffee.

I told you.

I never killed anybody.

So the tooth fairy left these underneath your pillow?

You're too stupid to play dumb with.

Maybe he's just slow.

Prove me right, Jerry, huh?

Where'd you get the jewelry?

I found them.

I swear.

Where?

I can't answer that.

Hey, I got a right.

You win, detective.

He is stupid.

Jerry, watch my lip.

Either you answer or you go in the slammer for 40 years to life.

If you survive, you're going to learn a thousand new ways to wear your hair.

Last chance.

Between the track...

And all his old lady friends.

I always thought that Brendan was a thief.

So after I found his body, I searched

his room.

And I found the jewelry in the frame of his bed.

Then I dialed 911.

Your IQ is improving, but you're still the best thing we've got for this

The DA's a lot nastier than we are. Make an educated guess.

It wasn't me.

Who had a reason to do it?

I don't know.

Get him out of here.

If you think I did it, you're both crazy.

Right.

Somebody Brendan robbed me?

Well, they'd throw him out a window.

And he'll be strong enough to do it, except for Wicks.

I better tell his husband.

That is a filthy, rotten lie.

No lie, Conrad. You knew that Brendan was sleeping with Wilma. Don't you say

that. Conrad here got old.

He got tired and he just slowed down.

So his wife takes a lover?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Detectives.

Get out of here, Wilma.

What's wrong?

You want to tell us what happened? Mrs. Minton, let's find someplace private.

Yes, we'd like to talk to you about Mr. Holmes. No, you do not talk to her.

We're going to get the truth from somebody, Conrad.

You did kill him, didn't you?

He was scum.

I'm so sorry.

He didn't touch you.

He never touched Wilma.

Do you want a tea, Chris?

No, thanks.

I don't really want it either.

I used to think life got simpler as you got older.

Tell the Chris and put an old man in jail.

It's the job, Chris.

I'm outta here.

See you tomorrow.

I bought some of your Super Boca.

It's kind of stupid, huh?

No, it's not. I can take it with me.

I'm sure they'll let me drink it.

After you mix up a quart, what are you going to do with it?

They're not going to issue you a little refrigerator or anything, you know.

I'll work something out.

Well, if I give you any problems, tell them to call your mother.

I want my boy healthy.

Healthy and happy.

Sure.

I'll miss you, Mom.

I love you.

You couldn't have waited till after Christmas.

I'm sorry.

You couldn't have waited till after Christmas.