All language subtitles for Cagney and Lacey s06e16 To Sir With Love

Oh, come on, Cagney. Women love to plan
parties. You want to do this dinner?

Yes. You want to do this dinner?

I would rather skinny dip with a perron.
We're going to need some help with

this. Now he wants entertainment.

There is not enough money in the budget
for entertainment.

Maybe we could rent one of those swans
that spit champagne.

I remember a division dinner where they
did this takeoff on this Broadway show.

They called it My Fair Precinct. How
come you get to do the big number? I'm

sleeping with the producer. The show
must go on.

I gave it water. I gave it fertilizer.

I don't know what else to do.

I think it's time to carry it to the
window for one last look at the heather.

Good morning, Marcus.

Morning, Christine.

I have to skip lunch today. I've got to
go out and buy a whole bunch of roses.

Well, if you want foliage, you probably
can get Petrie's plant for nothing.

I'm going to sell them.

I'm out of this pinafore.

Is this the cutest thing you ever saw in
your whole life?

It's exactly like Alice in Wonderland,
except it's going to have little roses

all along the hem.

I have to finish it by Thursday. Is 7 o
'clock all right with you?

7 o 'clock?

Alice's first birthday.

Don't tell me you forgot her party.

Of course I didn't forget it.

She's my namesake. I thought we would
all dress up.

I'll wear my tiara.

Everybody listen up.

The honor of 14th has been challenged.

Something tells me I had dinner with
Captain Gompert of the 8th.

Last night I had dinner with Captain
Gompert of the 8th.

He tells me that they are going to take
for the third year in a row the division

trophy for the highest clearance rate.

Yeah, but we won the football pool.

For years now we have been in the bottom
half of the division and I'm getting

tired of Gompert rubbing my nose in it.

We got until Friday, 5 o 'clock, to up
our rate.

We are as good as the eight.

But why haven't we won?

Paperwork.

We have closed a lot of cases, but we
just have not processed the fives to

it.

I got a fancy lunch riding on this.

So let's get up out of this cellar.

Thank you, Vince Lombardi.

Well, Victor, it's your moment of truth.

Now you have to change the ribbon in
your typewriter.

Sergeant Coleman, could you dig up the
file of our outstanding warrants,

Take a number.

I'll put you on the list, Detective
Lacey.

Thank you.

Cagney, Cagney, Cagney.

Inspector, Inspector, Inspector.

Detective Lacey, official department
business?

Yes, sir.

I mean, no, sir.

I was putting it away, sir.

I have here a special assignment that
just cropped up, and I'm going to give

you first crack at it.

I'm listening.

The chairman of the committee for the
division dinner had to drop out for

reasons of health, and I need someone
with your leadership ability to take

the job.

No one else available, Inspector?

Oh, come on, Cagney. Women love to plan
parties.

Not this one.

Besides, the man over there in the
office has me up to my leadership and

paperwork. You have a great committee.

There's Ralph Steerer I. Now, you know
him, the blue blimp.

He and that Yenta Gladys have been doing
this dinner for years.

All you have to do is breeze in with the
last -minute details and you walk away

with all the credit.

Good morning, Inspector.

Come on back to my office. I'll heat you
up a Danish. No, thanks, Bert. I have

to talk in a second with...

If you will excuse us.

What's going on?

He's trying to sweet -talk her into
organizing the division dinner, sir.

Can he? I know.

When pigs fly.

Yes, sir.

Give up, Inspector. There's nothing you
can say to change my mind. You know the

big surprise? Distinguished Service
Award.

This year we're giving it to Samuels.

The dinner is for him.

How'd you get rid of him so fast?

I gave in. You what?

He was very persuasive.

I know what he's doing.

He plays racquetball with Gumford.

So he figures he can tie up my second
whip and then the eighth is going to win

again? Well, I'm going to call now and
I'm going to get you off of this

committee. No!

Don't you see he's trying to sandbag us?
I need you on his clearance rate. I can

handle it, Lieutenant. I promise you I
will not let the dinner interfere with

work. You want to do this dinner?

Yes.

Oh, yeah, I see. Sure, you want to score
some points downtown, huh? Well, do it!

on your own time.

I hate this dinner already.

You want to do this dinner? I would
rather skinny dip with a piranha.

I'm going to eat my committee in a half
hour at the bank, but all I need is a

steak to get me there.

Wouldn't you love to connect those
dollars? Detective Lacey, this one's a

grounder. She wants to report a stolen
ring, and she knows who's got it. That's

right. It had diamonds and sapphires.

You see, I gave it to my boyfriend to
have it repaired.

But now that we've broken up, he won't
give it back.

Well, it must be taken by force. I'm not
sure we have a crime, Miss Mullins.

But she don't understand.

That ring belonged to my grandmother.

If she was alive, she'd die.

There, there, pretty lady. Please don't
cry.

I have a cousin in jewelry.

Call him at this number. He's going to
fix you right up.

That's your number, Mr. Zito. Sergeant,
we can file this complaint on a

misapplication of property.

You're not going to put him in prison,
are you? Well, we usually start with a

friendly visit before we throw anybody
in the tower.

That's a little police humor, ma 'am.

I'm going to need some information on
the gentleman.

His name is Ted.

Delmore. He has beautiful, smooth olive
skin, rippling muscles, sexy mustache,

dark bedroom eyes.

Really? And he says he's 34, but between
us, I think he's a little bit older.

Well, actually, all I need to know is
where to get hold of him. Oh.

Bingo!

He's the guy that's been flashing a half
a block from the banquet hall.

Is today my lucky day or what?

Delmore? D -E -L -M -O -R -E.

Rippling muscles.

R -I -P -P -L. That's all right.

Have either of you detectives made sure
that this is going to be fixed by Friday

night? I don't think we can push them
too hard, considering that they've

the whole.

They donated it?

According to the budget here, it says
that we're paying... $300.

I don't remember that.

Oh, it's right here in black and white.

Uh... Oh, I'll tell you what happened.

We budgeted for that amount because
that's what they usually charge.

Then when they donated the haul, we were
too busy to change it.

That's right.

Ralph will have to send them a thank you
note.

Who's in charge of cleaning up?

Hey, Ralph, did you tell him about the
cannoli?

Cannoli? The little Italian pastries
Ralph found out Sandals loves them.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, we'll have cannoli.

I don't see any reason to have to drive
all the way to Flatbush unless, of

course, somebody's sleeping with the
caterer.

Hey, hey, that's my sister you're
talking about.

Your sister?

Why not? We're getting the flowers from
Gladys' father and he's all the way out

on Staten Island.

Your own father? would charge us double
what we normally pay?

Excuse me, Sergeant.

If you're going to start making changes,
I'll tell Nelman we're not responsible.

Hi. Sorry I took so long.

Must have been some meeting. Here, here.

I got you something for Elizabeth's
party.

Oh, Christine.

This is so...

Well, sometimes people need help with
parties.

Take back the phone.

Mary Beth, I need your help. All right,
I had to dump the committee. They're

trying to rip us off. We even have to
get a new banquet hall.

Christine, I am busy with the baby's
birthday.

So can't you do it next week? It's not
like she's got a calendar in her crib.

This is her first birthday, and we are
going to celebrate it on her birthday.

See, that's how we do things. Christmas
on the 25th, Easter's on Sundays, and

birthdays on birthdays.

Mary Beth, this dinner is important,
too. Can't you do both? No.

clearance rate. Mary Beth, you are so
organized, so full -time job, running a

household. This is one of the things I
admire most about you. Now, a little

thing like this isn't going to faze you.

All right, Mary Beth.

I'm not supposed to tell you this
because it's a secret.

This dinner is for Samuels.

Now, see, we've got to get the banquet
hall first. Christine, I'm sorry, but

every once in a great while, my family
has to come first.

I wasn't going to mention this, Mary
Beth, but if you'll remember, I did go

through the Lamaze crisis with you to
back up Harvey.

Not to mention the fact that I got you
to the hospital on time. If it were not

for me, I was going to have been born on
the Queensborough Bridge. This is not

fair. My life lagging on speeding track.

Well, this dinner is my baby, Mary Beth.

And the due date is Friday.

Delmore exterminators, we kill bugs the
American way.

Oh, yes, Harry, hold on.

I'll tell him.

Thank you. Bye.

Miss Mola, I'm a little confused. Didn't
you tell us that this is where Mr.

Delmore works?

It is. He's my boss. I'll tell him
you're here.

One second.

That must be rough, huh? Breaking up
with your boyfriend, he's still your

They're right when they say you should
never fool around at work.

Maybe they've never seen Ted Delmore's
rippling muscles or flashing bedroom

eyes. I didn't think you picked up on
that.

Mind of a great detective.

Uh -huh.

This is Mr. Delmore.

Excuse me.

Mr. Delmore?

I'm Sergeant Tagney. This is Detective
Lacey.

I don't understand.

Is something wrong?

We understand that you're in possession
of a ring belonging to Miss Muller.

She wants it back.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

Did she also happen to mention that she
is in possession of my five -speed food

processor? And just between us homo
sapiens, it's worth a heck of a lot more

than that crummy ring.

That well may be, Mr. Delmore, but she
has filed a formal complaint.

And by keeping her ring, you're guilty
of a Class A misdemeanor for what you

consider up to one year in prison.

All right. and I'll give it back.

Fine. So we can inform Ms. Muller that
you'll be returning her ring tomorrow?

Sure. I knew I should have gotten
involved with her.

But there was something about the way
she filed.

Now, normally, I would say for a
departmental function, blue balloons.

this case, I think multicolor is more
effective.

Mary Beth, I don't think balloons are
quite what we want.

Oh, yes, they are, Chris.

Because the Marine has a party shop, and
she used balloons so tastefully at her

second wedding.

I'm sure they were lovely.

We just don't have any money in the
budget for them.

I'll get her to donate them. She loves
to make me feel like a poor relation.

I really wanted to make the dinner as
elegant as possible.

That's what I mean.

Maybe we could rent one of those swans
that fit champagne.

I decided, Rob, the cake is going to be
pink, and it's going to have roses, and

it's going to say, Happy First Birthday,
Alice Christie.

That better be a big cake.

Your mother's coming early and Chris is
going to take the pictures. Did you get

the scotch?

Yeah, and the soda and everything else
you asked for.

Christine's first time here.

We still don't have a new dining room
set.

Hopefully our sons will grace us with
their presence.

Don't count on it, babe.

365 days a year. And on their baby
sister's birthday, they make other

Well, I'll talk to them, Mary Beth. But
remember, at their age, they're going to

want to be with their friends.

Harvey Jr.

has 364 other dates he can hang on
Tiffany Rinaldi. Well, Alice is going to

lots of other birthdays.

Yeah, but this is our last first
birthday. Oh, no, it isn't, babe.

I mean, before you know it, the boys
will be off and married and we'll have

of grandchildren.

That's not the same.

You'll make a beautiful grandmother.

I'm talking about my babies, our babies,
Harvey.

And Alice is the last one, and this is
the last time.

Doesn't have to be.

Yes, it does.

Oh, what's this one? The Vallejo case.

Laxative plot against the Jockey at
Aqueduct. Oh, right.

It's all for the deadly chocolate.

Am I poking it on, Captain?

Nope. I got a type of few loose ends on
the dinner here. Like, for instance,

planning the whole thing.

You'd be the candle, my boy.

Candle? It's in it.

Nice, huh?

They're lime green.

I thought your stones were short on
time.

I was in the store. They were on sale. I
bought them. Well, they don't go with

anything we have.

They don't go with this gray paper. I
had a suit that color once, but my ex

-wife burned it. These items should have
been cleared for the property clerk's

desk. Years ago, some of them even date
back to 1981.

So let's return them to their rightful
owners so we can blow some cases. Here,

what the hell is this? Nothing, sir.

Nothing, huh?

Look, if she may have sucked you into
this dinner thing, that's your problem.

But this is my squad room. I don't want
to see them in here.

I hate stations.

Me too.

Now, here's the list.

Flight card, photo montage, pickup
from... Oh, Chris, we're going to need

help with this. From whom?

All the guys are bogged down with the
clearance rate. Yes, and some of them

even have lives and children with
birthdays.

Okay, fine.

I'll see if I can get them to help as
soon as I figure out how.

Tuesday night. How's your luck been
lately?

Okay, seven cards stud, high spade, and
the hole splits apart.

You didn't tell me anything about the
hole.

Now relax, Mark, and say you're down
contact.

Queenie.

I'll go a quarter.

Oh.

I'm in.

Quarter.

What's the fight you have planned for?

Yeah, I think we'll be fighting from a
caterer or something.

I couldn't resist knowing you were all
going to be here.

Eight goes 50.

I'm out.

You know what I love the best about the
14th?

Ooh, two ladies.

Where we all band together and work and
play like a team, you know?

Actually, I like to...

Well, I like to think this is more of a
family.

Raising you worth a buck.

What do you want?

A little help.

How little?

Well, the committee screwed up. Petrie,
are you in?

I'm not sure what to do.

Ooh, let me help.

My mama didn't raise no fool.

I'll be your buck and raise you 50.

Kind of hoping you guys would help me
with the dinner.

Are you in?

Look, I've done a lot of favors for you
guys.

I'm not even going.

Food's latching. Speeches are worse.

Okay, fine.

I'll remember that the next time you
need some extra coverage. And Esposito,

next time you want an extra day off,
forget it.

Check. I check.

Okay, looks like this will be the last
game for me.

Cash out now and die. Down and dirty.

It's not our fault to bid off more than
you can chew.

I bid it for Samuels.

Samuels? Bet.

Lady, give us another dollar.

I call.

I'm out.

What about Samuels?

He's not supposed to know this. It's a
secret.

He's getting the Distinguished Service
Award.

Well, why didn't you just say so,
Cagney?

Sure, it will help.

Three queens take home all the bees.

Anything for Samuels.

I think my boat left your queens at the
dock.

I don't know what you call it, but it's
tied with marshmallows and coconut, and

at approximately what time did you
notice Broussard was missing?

Morning, Lieutenant.

You go to the printer, and you pick up
these programs, and you take them by

Fabry's mother's house. She's going to
put the tassels on them and drop them

at the bank on the way to work, so you
have to be the first thing in the

morning. Here's where you go.

At least the printer opens at 9 o
'clock. I'm going to be late for work.

So tell Stanley you've got a flat tire.

Okay, okay. Look, after what he did for
me, I've got to be real straight with

him. I can't lie.

I tell you, sometimes you're almost
human.

All right.

Peter, you go to the caterer. Here, you
give me this. I'll give it to Esposito.

You take this, and you pick up the
Fotomont tires. Can you handle that?

Yeah. Oh, gee, look at this.

Three minutes late. Did I beat him in?
No, you didn't.

Here's the receipt. It's a beautiful
plaque.

Good.

Charlie brought by Samuel's picture last
night.

Oh, how is he?

Looks great. I'm telling you, Samuel was
with some hunk when he was younger.

I was speaking about Charlie.

Great. He's moved down to Beer.

He says it's a lot healthier.

I bet, honest to God, I think we're
going to pull this thing off.

Detective Lacey, 14th.

Oh, thank you for calling back. Yes, we
are trying to return an artificial limb

to a Mrs.

Judith Keith.

You have any idea of her whereabouts?

Lake Titicaca.

Cagney, 14th.

How do you spell that?

Inspector Nelman.

He never said anything about that.

Yeah, but... Hey, what do you mean
goodbye? Thank you.

Lake Titicaca, Peru.

Now he wants entertainment. We don't
have enough money in the budget for

entertainment.

Seven more years and that's it.

of a division dinner where they did this
takeoff on this Broadway show.

They called it My Fair Precinct.

I have the worst headache.

There's probably a lot of talent in this
division.

I bet we could put on a show.

Are you out of your mind?

Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me.

Starlight and teardrops are waiting for
thee.

Sons of the moon.

out on this dinner for you.

Now, if they want to be in it, I think
you have to let them. That's only fair.

Come on, Mary Beth. We're going to look
like the gong show.

A lot of people like that show,
Christine.

Maybe the ones that aren't so good could
do something else, like announce the

other acts or something.

You know, Faberty had a nice voice.

I bet you got some nervous.

Well, she's used to singing with her
sister.

Maybe we could find somebody else. a
hard to sing with? Who?

You have a nice voice.

Absolutely not. Oh, come on, Christine.

You know what they say.

What? The show must go on.

Enough.

The pen's caggy. Now, who's in the show?

May I get a cup of coffee first?

We got two routines you haven't even
seen yet.

Lieutenant Samuels. What? Good morning,
sir.

Good morning.

Think he's suspect?

No, I think he's worried about the
clearance rate.

How many cases have we closed?

Not enough. Look who's here.

Our lady of the polka dots.

This is my princess, Diala. Of course
she calls me spot.

What can we do for you, Miss Mola? I
remembered a few more things I looked at

his play.

My Trini Lopez album. Please have a
seat. Thank you.

I'll be within one minute.

My mini blow dryer.

When are you going to announce who's in
the show?

As soon as I find someplace where
Samuels won't bother us.

is the opener, and then Petrie, Victor,
Esposito, and Coleman.

We want three minutes out of those eight
minutes that you gave us.

Five minutes, and Cagney, Karasi are the
announcers. An announcer is a good job.

Think about Ed McMahon. You can't trim
our routine. It's gold.

Yeah, if you're so short on time, how
come you get to do such a big number?

sleeping with the producer. What do you
want from me? I have to go out after

Musashi. The floor's going to be wet.
Bring him up. And I can't pick up the

programs. Coleman and I got to rehearse.
Half of this thing is in Yiddish. It's

funnier that way. Believe me. Are we
getting separate tests? We're dressing

right up.

of babies. And I don't have the time to
change your diapers. I personally am

down to the wire myself.

Tonight I will be spending with the
Lacy's making cannoli. Cannoli?

What is cannoli? It happens to be
Samuel's favorite dessert.

Let's get one thing straight.

If this show interferes with anybody's
work on the dinner, you're out of the

show.

and chocolate shavings and you never
even asked me.

I forgot.

Look, I'm sorry.

The only way we can afford light and
music is if we make the cannoli

Are you out of your mind?

You cannot make 250 cannolis.

I bought the shells ready -made. How
long could it take?

How is his birthday tonight?

We're going to do it after the party.

We'll have plenty of time.

Why don't you open those up? We're all
going to put

the candles on the cake. Christine,
would you relax?

Now, why don't you take some more
pictures?

I just took a whole roll.

Well, not of this.

Okay, of the presents.

All right, you got it. All right, here
we go.

Now, everybody, everybody, Harvey Jr.,
get on the other side.

Everybody get real close.

Michael, smile.

Where's the baby?

There she is.

Okay, now, you look like a doofus in
that hat.

Yeah, go look in the mirror. All right,
that's enough. Get in closer. And tea.

Mozzarella.

After I find an aspirin.

We have to line up the cannoli shells.

Chop two more bags of nuts.

Don't push me, Christine.

You've been on fast forward the whole
night.

You have a lot to do, Maribel.

Well, you didn't even finish the tour of
my new house.

First time you came over, you didn't
even say anything.

And it's not so.

One quarter of a cup of hazelnut
liqueur.

Well, you don't want to be too stingy
with this stuff.

Mary Beth, that's what the recipe calls
for.

You've got to believe some man who wrote
a cookbook or a person who lived next

to an Italian for 13 years.

Fine.

One quarter cup of hazelnut liqueur.

Then, after you set the shells, then
sprinkle them.

All right, I'll line them up over here.
No, you put them right here on the lazy

seat, and that way they get an even
sprinkle.

See?

Then you hold the sugar, and I...

You can pick up the shells, and I'll put
the chocolate chips in.

Oh.

You got chips?

What's this supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Don't give me that. You just said, oh,
you got chips.

I want to know what I mean.

Well, probably doesn't matter, but, you
know, real Italians always get a big

block of chocolate, and they make
shavings.

I mean, chocolate chips will be okay.

They'll probably taste all right, but
they won't be authentic, that's all.

Pat,

it's good.

The one thing we don't have is touch.

Right?

Get stuffing.

You happen to be in my kitchen,
Sergeant. Oh, excuse me. Get stuffing,

Why are you stuffing it with a spoon?

Because this is the way that my old
neighbor, Finny Carmelini, stuffs it.

We are making hundreds.

Use the pastry bag.

I prefer a spoon.

We don't have the time here.

I, in the interim, will be mixing the
food coloring and the peanut.

What?

Stachios cost too much money, and the
man at the market told me that it was

perfectly acceptable to take peanuts and
chop them up and throw green food

coloring in, and you put them on a
cookie sheet, and you put them in the

for about 20 minutes, and nobody knows
the difference. They're absolutely

delicious.

You rushed me through my last baby's
only first birthday so you could paint

peanuts green? The nuts are supposed to
be green. Well, you were so crazy about

green when I bought those candles and
cray paper.

Did you drop it about the candles?

I'm using your tacky balloons.

What do you mean tacky?

I groveled on my knees to a woman I
can't stand, so now you tell me you

like them?

Matter of fact, I don't.

And this dinner is a reflection on me.
Oh, pardon me.

I thought that it was a party for
family.

This would not have happened if it let
me do it my way.

I didn't mean what I said. Yes, you did.

All right, I did.

Not only about the balloon.

Columbia could not keep me awake right
now.

The scene.

The coffee, Mary Beth.

Well, you could always get a nap tonight
during Elman's speech.

After work, I've got to go by the floors
with a certified check while you go and

get the cannoli, all right?

Then I'll meet you back at the hall at 6
o 'clock.

We'll figure out the seating
arrangement.

That's easy.

Give the best tables to the people we
like.

Now you've got the spirit, Mary Beth.

Still, I feel like we're letting down
those damn clearance rates.

These cases have been easy to close.
They'd be closed already.

Yeah.

Maybe later if there's time to go over
my number with me, huh?

Shouldn't you be doing that with Fabi?

She's trying to get her costume
together.

Well, there is time later. I think we
should both get a nap.

I didn't get right to sleep last night.

Harvey says from now on, instead of
perfume.

I could dab on a little ricotta.

This has all gotten so awkward.

I'm surprised you're still working for
him. Why? He's a wonderful boss.

Well, your boss wants his shower
massager back.

He filed another complaint, Miss
Moeller. Well, then I want my copy of

Wine. That is an autographed copy, and
we bought it together.

With my charge card?

Time out.

Now, we do have more important things to
do than to try and unglue your

relationship. Let's settle this thing
once and for all. We'll make a list, his

and hers.

Mr. Delmore?

She can have everything. I don't care.

All I want is the aroma disc.

The aroma disc?

Oh, no.

What's an aroma disc?

Oh, it's a little thing you plug in the
wall.

It's kind of like a record player if it
smells.

You know, it kind of gets you in the
mood.

Really?

I bet you know what these two made me.

I still can't shake the feeling I've
forgotten something.

Microphone, spotlight, podium.

Did the M .E. ever call us back on the
calls from suicide? We still can't close

the case. He was dead before he hit the
water. Did you remember to get your

shoes dyed?

That's what I forgot.

You should do it. Hit the dirt. Here she
comes. She's under the list.

You two in my office.

I don't mind telling you I know what's
going on.

I've been sneaking around here trying to
involve all of my people in this stupid

dinner.

All I asked was you try and help me beat
Comfort.

And so far, you two have done less work
than any other team in this squad.

And frankly, I am disappointed.

That's all.

Disappointed. That's the worst. Why
couldn't he be furious?

I hate to recall. No black olive.

We'll see about that.

It's not our fault we got stepped on by
a viper and said die.

We're going to get back together again
soon. Don't even say that. He's going to

let her keep that aromatherapy.

No wonder nobody claimed that.

That is Bafferty's wig. She's going to
wear it tonight.

Hello, yeah, let me talk to Ramone.

Lola versus Delmore. All this stuff they
fought over.

Chris.

We do a separate file on each of these
items. That's 14 completed cases right

here. We can win the clearance rate.

This is good, Mary Betts.

This is war, Sergeant.

The girl said, you should be arrested.

Well, for what, says the cop?

For disturbing our peace.

And now it's time to present the trophy
to the precinct that has achieved the

highest rate of cleared cases.

Now, I instituted this award six years
ago, so I like to think of it as the

Nelman Award.

This year, the race was so close, we are
announcing the top three precincts.

Come on, little polka dots. Take us
home. In third place, the fifth

Second place goes to the 14th.

And in first place... I thought surely
we had it.

A lot of work in second place.

What's wrong with second place?

It's the best we've ever done. And in
this division, that's a pretty heavy

hitting, if you ask me.

Even if you spent all this time on his
dinner, you did your best, and I'm real

proud of all of yours.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Who wants a no -man anyway?

Congratulations, Captain. Thank you,
Inspector.

Accept this on behalf of all the great
guys and gals at the 8th Precinct.

Thank you.

Oh, God, Bert.

I owe you a lot, dear Bert.

Better luck next year, Bert.

Good you stuck him way in the back.

And now we come to the most important
part of the evening.

The presentation of the Distinguished
Service Award.

It is the highest commendation this
division can bestow.

And I'm sure you'll agree that this
year's recipient is truly deserving of

honor.

It gives me great pleasure to present
Manhattan South Division's award for

distinguished service to Lieutenant
Albert Samuel.

I knew something was going on.

I never thought it was this.

You get an award for doing a job that
you love.

I still can't believe this.

I want to thank the division for this
honor.

But I got to tell you something.

This award belongs...

To a very special group of people that I
work with.

To a group of dedicated and hardworking
cops.

And they make it real easy for a guy
like me to look good.

Thank you.

the entertainment portion of the
evening. We put together for you,

sort of a trip down memory lane.

Here's a picture of you getting your
uniform ripped off.

Here you are catching Jerry Ford when he
fell down the steps at St. Pat's.

But this one here is my favorite.
Exchanging hats with Bella Abzug at a

convention.

Hey, everybody.

It's time.

A compact.

With a steel mirror.

I'll bet.

How nice of you. Thank you. It's
beautiful.

I made up the inscription.

Read it.

Thanks for kicking our butts when we
needed it.

Thank you, Victor.

Thank you all of you.

Didn't know you guys went in for this
much.

Did a hell of a job, Cagney.

It was a team effort, believe me.

We even handmade your favorite dessert,
sir.

Cheesecake?

Cheesecake? No, cannoli.

I was told that you loved cannoli.

Oh, no, cannelloni, sure, yeah,
cannelloni. You know, the pasta rolled

tomato sauce?

Well, don't worry about it, Cagney. You
know me. I eat anything.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

They want you for a picture, sir. Oh,
yeah, sure. And listen, Candy, the

balloons are terrific.

The balloons actually were Detective
Lacey's idea.

May

I have your

attention, please? I think I'll go home
now.

Will everyone who is in the
entertainment, please report backstage.

She's around. Here comes the wig now.

Where have you been?

I can't hear a word you're saying,
Bernice. Could you speak up?

All crazy. Louder. She lost her voice.

What do you mean you lost your voice?
You can't do a thing like that.

Bernice, come back or I'm not going out
there by myself.

Oh, no, don't look at me.

All right, Beth.

You know the routine. No, not in front
of people. This is different. You know

how I get in court.

You saw how bad he was. They loved him.
No. Sit down.

Boa, feel this. Does that feel good? I
can't sing.

Oh, Drift, let me see that. Oh.

Drift, I'm already doing my part. Oh,
anybody could be a stage manager. No,

Christine. Sit down.

Hand me.

You'll be speechless.

Hey, turn around.

Perfect fit.

My lungs are collapsing. Your lungs are
great. I haven't breathed in five

minutes. You'll have to breathe just a
thing.

Now a warm welcome, please, for
Christine Cagney and Bernice Poverty.

It's great. Oh, that makes me feel
better. Would that get me out of this?

It should.

It should. Good luck.

Like the show must go on. That's it,
yeah.

That's not going to do it.

Get it up, honey.