Original subtitles

This just came in. I wanted to get on it right away. I'm Robert.

At an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

What, you were speaking about alcoholism from the legal perspective?

I was speaking from the perspective of a drunk.

Do you drink alone?

My house, you're lucky to be able to go to the bathroom alone.

We're up to our bangs in the temperance movement.

Cheers. There is nine grand in the bank. This is ours. Good time bucks.

What is next, Tar?

What do you think? A red sports car? A mistress?

Whoa! Come on! Get out! Stop it!

You're scaring me, Charlie.

I was just trying to lighten your load. Keep your mid -top mail addressed to a

superior officer.

I started taking Bexford's because I thought of it. first. Yeah, Carrasa.

late notice from the credit union. Now, second one, you better take care of

that. That's a low -taste move, Esposito. That from the originator of

California earthquake?

And the Central American invasion book?

Semi -automatic digest. That's your last issue. Time to renew.

It's no wonder you don't get your cases cleared. You got your nose in

everybody's business. I don't believe what I'm... Esposito, your phone is

ringing. We're not finished yet. Yes, we are.

Patriot, this is for you.

Detective Esposito, how may I help?

Morning, Chris.

Coffee? Please, handsome Aspen.

Wait, give me a break.

Handcuffs and vegetable oil were never meant to be used that way.

Hi, this is Vick. Good talking to you, doll.

The man is a freak, Magnus. That's the third time this week she's called.

Nothing for you, Vick.

Shaggy, I've got a blooming catalogue here with some Idaho food to bake.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Since when do we write desk delivery?

Since this pervert here has been rifling the squad mail.

Pack this blossom, Arizona. I've got to run this in to the lieutenant. Get your

mitts off of that, you're gonna. Oh, looks like it's from a travel agent.

it, Petrie, give me that back. Odds update, Samuel's vacation to retirement,

to five. You pick him. Do you want to hold it down to a dull roar, please?

Daddy, let's see.

Yes, Lieutenant?

This just came in. I want the two of you to get on it right away. I'm Roderick.

At an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

Well, we're not talking stealing dimes from winos here. It is a very upscale

neighborhood.

They stood up in the middle of a meeting with their 38s, passed around garbage

bags, and took everything.

Cash and furs.

Jewelry, watches. I want you to talk to these victims and, you know, try and

come up with something, huh? Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

There's probably something that I should bring up to you.

Go ahead, bring it.

On the nose and on top of your lips, sir.

Well,

it's like a milk mustache.

Anything else, Detective?

Nothing.

I was speaking at the lectern and I saw

everything. Normally, I'm very, very critical of eyewitnesses. They're not

always reliable.

Guess she was on another foot today.

What are you, a lawyer?

I'm Justice Bruce Charnas.

Criminal court, part five.

I thought I'd seen you before. I've been in your court more than once. That you

have, Sergeant.

And if memory serves, and it usually does, you made quite a strong, credible

witness. Perhaps a tad too vehement.

You were speaking about alcoholism from the legal perspective?

I was speaking from the perspective of a drunk.

I'm done.

What is your name?

I knew I shouldn't have come here.

Couldn't you get this information from someone else? Ma 'am, she was sitting

closest to one of the perpetrators now. Maybe she saw something nobody else saw.

I don't believe this. I spent the entire night staring at a bottle, and now

this.

This is only my third AA meeting.

Miss, uh... Noyce.

Beverly Noyce. Thank you, Miss Noyce.

Can you describe either of the two men?

I can't. I didn't actually see their faces.

Were they recovered? They had, like, masks?

No, no. I just was afraid to look at them. All I could look at was the gun.

I'm sorry. I didn't actually see anything.

I had this feeling that something was wrong as soon as they walked in. I mean,

the suits and ties were right, but they weren't the wrong guys.

You seem to have covered every detail. Thank you very much. Look, if you need

any additional information, you know to reach me. Yes, Criminal Court, Part 5.

Unless, of course, if you'd rather I contacted you somewhere else, I

have. Look, my association with A .A. is no secret, believe me.

I mean, you're sober.

I gave up secrets about the same time that I gave up booze.

Sergeant? Your Honor.

I want to try something with you, okay?

There's a man with a gun, huh?

Now, what's his hand look like?

Huh?

Describe his hand to me.

His nails were dirty.

And he had these stubby little fingers.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't help you.

You're doing just fine.

He was dressed extremely well. A three -piece suit.

Yeah, but about the hand.

I think you noticed something about that hand, huh?

Try and picture it.

The gun was in his other hand.

His left hand?

Yeah. Did he have a ring?

No.

But on the back of his hand there was a tattoo.

Like a cross.

What kind of a cross? Like a crucifix?

No, no. It was more like a swastika.

Excellent.

That's nice. Very good.

Two white males, mid -30s, both on the short side of 16.

This is good. We've got strong, consistent identifications here.

Sounds like half the men I've dated.

Whether or not the tattoo.

I'm thinking a swastika tattoo on the back of the left hand is not your usual

three -piece look, Chris.

Well, at least you have something to run through the computer.

Yeah.

So what are you and Harvey up to tonight?

Tuna Newton casserole served on TV tray.

How about you?

Probably something exciting, huh?

Well, I'm looking at a long, luxurious bubble bath, followed by my crawling

my comforter with a very expensive Chardonnay and a very cheap novel,

smutty.

That sounds terrific.

Yeah. Too bad I can't do it.

Charlie wants me to come over. He says it's very important. He's got a

And he's invited Donna, too.

Oh, that's nice. They're still seeing each other, huh?

Oh, sure.

I hate surprises.

Yeah, especially when they're unexpected.

Almost funny.

You know what your problem is, Donna?

Your problem is that you can't tell a difference between hardcore boozing and

little happy celebrating. Happy celebrating?

Is that what you call this?

Knock, knock. At least I was celebrating.

Oh, but along comes mean old Donna and ruins your good times.

You got that one right, lady.

You want me to care about you, Buster?

then you start caring about you.

Oh, bourgeois.

I'll say one thing for it. You know, it's better to make an exit.

Who needs her?

I mean, Donna wouldn't know what she wanted if it came up and slapped her

in the butt.

What happened, Charlie?

Ask a woman to marry and she throws it right back in your face.

You asked her to marry you? I mean, what is it with you women today, huh?

Oh, but I don't think you need to... Hey!

Don't you start on me now.

You know what I wanted, Chrissy, was for everybody to be happy.

You know, is that a sin or something? I mean, to celebrate with the two women in

your life?

Charlie, it'd probably be even better if you hadn't been drinking. I told you to

shut up about that.

Come on, Pop.

Hey, hey, get out of here. I mean, who needs you here? I'm sick of all your

whining. Take it easy. Now, come on, get out of here. I don't want you here. No,

I'm not going.

Oh, Joe, talk back to me. Come on. Get out. Stop it.

Excuse me, Charlie.

Get it out.

What's happening to us?

Oh, hey, Chrissy, I didn't mean it. No, no, I'm sorry.

It's okay, Pa.

Just tell me what to do.

I'll do anything that you say.

We can make this thing better, Charlie. I know that we can be... No, no, no,

it's too late.

No, it isn't.

We just have to try harder, Dolph.

Really, maybe if I stop jumping on you all the time. Dolph, I'll come over and

visit you more, huh? And I'll make you dinner.

I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do.

Just stay with me, Chrissy, please.

Just stay.

Here, Daddy.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm here.

Well, it's okay, dear.

MB?

Harvey?

It's dream time, sweetheart.

Harvey, you look just like Johnny Carson. Frank Sinatra.

That's for the kids.

I want you to put on your best dress.

We're picking up Artie and Franny LaMotta and heading for Nicky Batakian's

restaurante.

You want to tell me what's going on? I told you, it's dream time.

Well, um, you want to give me a reason why? Yeah, I'll give you a thousand

reasons why.

Yes.

You won the lottery. Ah, the dental job paid off.

Oh, Harvey, that money belongs in the bank. There is nine grand in the bank.

This is ours. This is good time bucks.

Muriel is on her way. Go party your nose. We got some serious celebrating to

visitors, they order the antipasto to start and I say, okay.

But to you, the real New Yorkers, I offer only three words.

Oysters a la bataglia. Ah, Luigi, that sounds incredible.

Yes, what is it?

Señorina, it's heaven.

Sounds expensive, Bobby. I ain't paying for it.

I had a big lunch, so I think I'll have a salad. No, no, no, no, not tonight.

Tonight, all the ordering is Luigi's responsibility. And, Luigi, I have only

words for you.

The bed.

Anyway, I told Mary Beth, Faith, it is new car time.

You did?

Yeah. Artie, how's the new conversion?

Ah. So now you report to me. Yeah, I should have done like you said, Art.

mean, she's gone to New York, you know, top of the line.

Genuine leather interior.

Corinthian. Harvey, I like our car.

I'm back at school, too, here and there. Oh, yes? Yeah, the Kurtz Institute of

Fine Arts.

I'm taking a life -drawing class there. The male nude.

Wonderful. Anyway, Art, the way I see it, the real art of having money is

knowing how to spend it.

Right again, Art.

Listen to that.

Let's dance. Hey, Luigi, don't let us go dry here. No rain, no flowers. I got

each? I got each.

No rain, no flowers?

No.

How was the new Harvey Lacy feeling?

You ain't seen nothing yet, babe.

Hey, Marcus, check it out.

Hey, Jets. Hey, you got that right. Now, don't panic. Come on. I want you to try

it on. Come on. Come on.

Fine.

But it's not me. Oh, get out of town. Don't tell me that's not pure Jet blood

thundering through those veins. Now, come on. Tell me you don't feel the

difference. Hello?

Hey, Victor, come here. Check this out. Tell me, is this hip or what?

It's different, Marcus.

Hold it.

Now it works. There you go.

Yes, because, you know, you're like dry rot eating away at the foundation of the

14th. What is your problem, Sergeant? I don't like you taking bets on a

lieutenant's personal life. Is he going on vacation or is he going to retire?

That's the lieutenant's decision.

I don't make up these things. I mean, I'm merely an observer.

Wait a minute. My name is embroidered on this jacket. Well, I took a chance. It

doesn't mean you've got to buy it. I just want you to experience the new.

going to talk about money later, all right? Coleman, what happened to last

week's duty roster?

That you, Petrie?

Well, I... Sure.

Yeah?

See you in your box later, sir.

Before your next Danish, huh? Excuse me, sir. I think you should know I could

get these jackets any team, any sport. Now, you tell me, come on, sir. What's

your favorite? Maybe the Phoenix Suns, huh?

All right. Excuse me, Lieutenant. Line four for you.

Yeah. Can we see you for a couple of minutes, please? Aye, it's important,

So is this. Aye, it's very important, sir. It's the mayor.

Hodge? Are you attached to me?

No, Mayor Kesselman from Arizona, Mayor of Cactus Blossoms.

This is a gag.

You tell him I'll be back to him in a while, okay?

Come on. Thank you.

Nobody goes to Cactus Blossom unless they're saying adios, rat race.

Three hours to cover that AA armed robbery. Hope you got something this

Totally different descriptions of the perps.

Talking two sets of bad guys.

We don't think so, sir.

They put together these identicates based on the witness report.

It seems that our boys here think they're masters of disguise. And the

time out, they were very uptown, business suits and blow -dried hair.

This time they dressed up more artsy -craftsy. Yeah, you know, sport coats

leather patches, and one of the proofs showed up with the hair on his face.

Look, I don't care whether he dressed like Michael Jackson and Imelda Marcos.

got an M .O. here or what?

We think we could make this collar if we went undercover, Lieutenant.

Well, you can forget that. I already got two teams out on the Hanson homicide.

We're stretched too thin as it is. Sir, both meetings they have are within ten

blocks of each other. It's a relatively small territory.

Come on, Lieutenant. They act like they hit Motherlode on the 14th.

What'd the computer kick out on those cockamamie tattoos?

Lots of names.

It's a prison gang tattoo, sir. It would take days to track them all down. If we

went undercover, we could nail them. I guarantee you'd be faster.

All right. You want to go undercover?

Okay, you got it. But you and Lacey are on your own.

A wise decision, Lieutenant.

Can't be bigger than one team.

Yes, sir.

Absolutely not. And I am not pulling any detectives off the street for this. I

hope you had a great trip, sir. What are you talking about? Well, word has it

you're heading out west.

You stick to your crime bus, Detective.

Hey, Mary Beth.

What do you say we go to Flannery?

No, thanks. Not tonight.

Come on. We'll have one drink to celebrate.

Celebrate what?

It's Thursday.

Harvey just finished that big job. We'll celebrate that.

Harvey celebrated enough for all of us.

Oh, tied my mom and the boys, huh?

No, he did not.

Harvey...

He hasn't been himself these days.

Money -wise.

A little extra cash in his pocket. He thinks he's Daddy Warbucks.

He has been very generous lately.

So indulge him.

Men love to play the big spender. It makes them feel important.

Let him take you out for a night on the town.

I did.

I still have heartburn.

So he went on a little spending spree.

Little?

Chris, he called me today. He told me he's looking at a pool table.

And a humidifier for the rec room.

At least he has the family in mind. I think that's nice.

Anything we buy for the house, we always decide on together.

Very good.

Listen to me.

Would you relax and enjoy it? You and Harvey are coming up in the world, huh?

Yeah, for now.

We still have three kids and the same bills. Only now we also have a mortgage

and a house to furnish.

Things can happen. You have to be prepared.

Look, you guys deserve to have some good times. Would you stop worrying so we

act like a kid in a candy store? So what?

Too much candy can make you sick.

See?

Now, my philosophy in life, Mary Beth, is too much of a good thing is never

enough. Huh?

Uh -huh.

Hey, if you can't please yourself, who are you going to please?

Night, Chris.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

You bought a new Hi -Fi.

Hi -Fi does not apply, Mary Beth. This is a studio -quality, digital, multi

-medium, full -dimensional sound system.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Harvey, but R &R old records are going to sound pretty

much the same.

Stand over here. Close your eyes.

How come you didn't buy something we need, Harv? Close your eyes.

They closed?

Yes, they're closed.

This is a feast for your ears.

I'm still full from Nick Battaglia.

Huh?

That's quality, huh? I mean, doesn't it sound like they're right here in this

room?

If they were here, Hob, we wouldn't be able to feed them.

Honey, you're spending all our money.

Amortized over one's lifetime, Mary, but that's practically pennies a day.

It's not pennies, Harvey.

The other night we ate five years' worth of piano lessons. I put money in the

bank. I'm wondering what is next, Tar.

What do you think, a red sports car, a mistress?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe you ought to ask the new Harvey Lacey, the one who doesn't like the way

things are around here.

down the stream.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Why did I buy that damn rolling machine?

To build the best packs in New York.

Well, you noticed.

Thanks.

Actually, I couldn't say no to the kid behind the counter. He was so cute.

He had wide shoulders and narrow hips with the sweetest little dimpled smile.

I'm a sucker for good teeth. How about you, Tony? Among other things.

Well, I'm always open to possibility.

You can get to be very popular that way.

Yes, but fame is fleeting.

Aren't you through with that thing yet? Come on. You can't rush, genius. I think

you need a woman's touch.

Oh, I think you talk too much.

I happen to be very extremely efficient.

Very.

Did you know that I built a ship in a bottle?

I built a hospital with tinker toys.

My mother thought I'd be a doctor.

Building a hospital with ticker toys cannot compare to building a ship in a

bottle.

I made it for Charlie.

You know, you remind me of my father.

Something about your old man you neglected to tell me?

You have a dirty mind, Tony.

I like that.

in the world today is not to have to drive i'm doing it one day at a time

take the right front i'd like to thank my son peter for hanging

in this first year and celebrating my anniversary with me pete i love your son

Who would like to go next?

Laura?

My name is Laura, and I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Laura.

This is not all easy because I like to drink.

Correction. I love to drink.

Guys told me I could drink like a man.

Hearing that meant more to me than I had dynamite legs or pretty eyes.

Drinking like a man was part of my image.

But I never drank on a job in my life. It never interfered.

Of course, I did drink after work to unwind.

But I didn't unwind.

Man, I unraveled.

Anyway, I want to share that I feel good today.

Thank you.

Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?

No.

You want to drink the next morning. Are they kidding?

More than one drink with a little umbrella in it and I'm knocked out for a

No. Do you drink alone?

My house, you're lucky to be able to go to the bathroom alone. No.

Is drinking making your home life unhappy?

I'm very happy with my home life.

Mostly.

Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?

Huh.

Now, that's a tough one.

Sometimes, if it's been a hard day, or the boys are at each other again, or

Alice goes cranky behind teeth, and I have to admit, I'll have a glass of wine

or a beer to quiet my nerves. Light beer.

They're not talking about an occasional beer, Mary Beth.

Well, I admit it's not too often, but I have to say yes to this one, Christine.

The first step is awareness, they said. You have to keep alert to the danger

signs. Give me a break.

Do you resent advice of others who try to get you to stop drinking?

Are you going to read every question on that entire list?

It's very interesting, Christine. You ought to take a look at this.

What for?

It's informative, for one thing.

But I never think of drinking as a disease. Yeah, informative, my butt.

questions are used as scare tactics. Some poor slug who just wants a couple

drinks to smooth out the rough edges already, they got him thinking he's an

alfie.

I think that's the point they're making, Chris.

Alcohol can sneak up on you, you know that.

Charlie, I mean.

Well, it's hard to get used to it. I mean, I could take it and leave it.

I haven't had a drink all week, as a matter of fact.

It's a matter of willpower.

I was very impressed with those people.

I mean, it takes a lot of courage to speak up like that.

They have problems, but they're facing up to them.

Yeah, just a lot of people hanging on to each other.

Is drinking affecting your reputation?

Hey, we got a time problem here. Can you get me to LaGuardia in 40 minutes?

Arizona Skyways?

Can't get you nothing until you get in?

Yeah.

You all look like you're sitting shiver here. I didn't have a heart attack.

Well, you certainly sound all right, Lieutenant.

How are you feeling?

I feel fine.

Doctor said it was a warning, that's all.

Good thing, too, because I hate the way they dress you up for the department

funeral.

That's a joke.

Oh, that was a good one, sir.

I'm glad to see that the old sense of humor is still intact.

Yeah, all I got to do is relax a little and bring down the stress.

From what I've seen of the nurses, yes, sir, I don't think that's going to be an

easy thing to do.

We've got to move on, Victor.

Take it easy, Lieutenant.

Sure.

Nice room.

You're right.

Great view of the doctor's parking lot.

Real restful, watching them come and go in their German cars.

Oh, look here.

These flowers are great, huh?

Isn't that something? That's from my son and daughter -in -law.

Well, you got your window and you got your television.

You got your search for tomorrow?

Canceled.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

We hate to be wet blankets, but the perps changed their M .O. They had an Al

-Anon meeting yesterday and there's another meeting scheduled in the target

this afternoon, so... Will you keep me informed, Sergeant?

I certainly will. And there's no reason for you to hang around Coleman.

You know, Saturday afternoon, I got all the basketball games on the TV.

Get some rest, sir.

Sort

of

figured you for a hockey fan, you know. Live and die by them Rangers.

Not much hockey in Arizona.

Not a lot of stress there, either.

Chief's hat.

He's waiting for me.

Cactus Blossom.

Chief of police?

Yeah.

I thought this was all about your retirement or something. Well, you're

off, Sergeant.

Last year at Cactus Blossom, they had one stolen golf cart.

And two burglaries.

It's a cushy job.

Yeah, Sam, you'll see.

Oh, tell him.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, come on up.

My ex is coming, Amy.

Yeah, well, that's nice.

That's nice. You say hello to her for me. Sure.

You take care, Bert.

You don't break habits so easy.

If I know I did wrong, but I washed her,

put her to bed.

I know you tell me I'm supposed to just leave her there.

But I've been picking my wife up and cleaning her off for years.

I know that she has never once smelt

herself or felt her

clothes sticking to her.

God, I want her to stop drinking.

And I don't.

Want her to die?

It is just so hard to

let her go.

I think we have time for one more.

My name is Donna.

Hi, Donna.

And I have a man friend, and he's a drunk.

Sometimes I really love the guy.

A lot of the time I don't.

I feel like a cat on a fence.

I can't jump one way, and I can't jump the other.

But now I have to do something fast because Charlie wants... Charlie, that's

name.

Well, he wants me to marry him.

And right now, I just can't.

Maybe if we...

You're doing the best thing you can do, Chris.

Not just for Charlie, but for yourself, too.

That's so.

Have you been to an Al -Anon meeting before?

No, this is my first. Look, Donna, I really do have to go. Oh, you'll see.

I mean, you'll learn how to really help him when you learn to let him go.

I know some other great meetings.

If you'd like to go with me, I'd like that.

This is a great thing, Donna.

I'm sorry, I did it to run you.

Excuse me, expression, I need a drink.

What do you have, Mary Beth?

Thanks.

Your sergeant says it's okay.

Soda water for me, with lime if you have.

Living dangerously, I see.

I'll have a white wine.

Ten million people in the city of New York. We bumped into Donna Lamar.

Some days you get lucky.

She seemed very nice.

Really concerned for Charlie. Right.

Did you see those two guys in the tweed jacket? I could have sworn that they

were our perps.

And they got up and started hugging and kissing everybody in their room.

I picked up some of those Al -Anon pamphlets.

They talk about, thank you, the co -alcoholic.

Is that the guy who holds the glass for you?

I don't think so, Chris.

They said it could be a family member or a friend even.

We have an AA step meeting this afternoon. We have another Al -Anon

tomorrow morning.

We're up to our bangs in the temperance movement.

Cheers.

They all look so put together.

Not that all drunks are laying in gutters.

Thank you, Betty Ford.

I feel like I'm working on eggshells here. I don't know what to say to you.

Well, let me inhibit you.

Never mind.

I'm not very hungry right now.

Let's see if we can get out of here.

Whatever you say, Jordan.

Lost your mind?

It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's a snowblower, too, babe.

Harv?

You're scaring me.

Oh, Mary Beth.

Honey, I am allowed, allowed to be a little stupid with our money. We are

allowed to do things that we couldn't do before.

I've been clipping coupons my whole life, Harvey. That's a hard habit to

I don't... I don't ever want to have to struggle again.

Are you saying that my success is a fluke?

I said no such thing, Harp. I believed in you when you did believe in yourself.

It would be nice if we could both believe in me at the same time.

Yeah, but you're going out on your own, Harp. This is not us, Harp.

Not anymore.

You know what? You act like you are afraid of the money.

Nothing bad is going to happen.

Mary Beth, I want to see you enjoy yourself just one time.

I'll make a deal. I'll make a deal with you.

The mower goes back.

But you gotta spend the 900 bucks it costs on yourself.

900 dollars?

900 dollars?

On myself?

By Wednesday.

Otherwise it comes back here and it sits in this dining room until spring.

You're serious.

You go and have yourself a great time, babe.

I became a doctor so I could save people's lives.

The one I need to save the most, I can't do a damn thing about.

I know, I know I'm not supposed to do anything for the alcoholic they should

for themselves.

She's my mother, for God's sake.

My dad's gone and there's no one else.

I've tried it all.

Yelling, begging, stealing her bottle.

And I figured it must be me.

If I could just figure out what I was doing wrong, then I could make her stop.

Mom's been drinking.

I'm just so afraid to leave her alone.

I mean, what if she fell and hurt herself?

I'm finally realizing I'm not helping her.

I am powerless over her drinking.

I have got to learn to take care of myself.

Sharing time, everybody. Nobody move. Don't do anything we're going to regret

here.

We don't want any gratuitous violence today.

Let's just work together as a team.

Keep the walls clean.

Okay, now we want everything in the bag. I mean everything. Your wallets, your

jewelry. Oh, yeah, don't forget those watches, please.

Doc, I can't get it off.

Get it off. The finger goes with it, sweetheart.

The fur coat, too, please.

Thank you.

Over there. Get over there.

Okay, trick -or -treat time. Everybody start taking them off. You see what's

going down?

Let's go to Wallet. You got a couple of rings.

Okay. Let's go.

Come on, come on. Let's go make it our life's work. Touch the purse in the bag.

Drop it.

Don't you ever call me. Look.

Yo, Cooley, what are you doing? Police!

Don't breathe.

Stand up.

Stand up!

Get your hands where I can see them.

Turn around.

Get the table.

Back away and lay on the floor.

Get down on the floor.

Mating whale.

Very scary.

And yet those lonely, haunting cries are so soothing. They lower blood

pressure and improve REM periods. REM periods? Yes.

Where are you and Karata on those gypsy cat pickups? We did the files. Good.

Great. Get them in here.

You've got a minute, sir?

Now, sir, on the flip side of things, we have the winds of Easter Island. You

never heard such peace.

Right. Five.

Five.

Whoa, Marcus!

Fucking shot.

Real good.

Oh, good morning, Victor.

Fuck the size, Lieutenant.

Just watching as a full cardiovascular workout.

Knockout women.

Wearing the legal minimum.

Stretching their beautiful bodies.

Thanks. I hope you don't mind, sir. It's a copy.

Oh, it's okay. It's all right.

I hope that's work.

Well, in a way, sir, I think this will help you.

This is Swami Nambanada's guide to microwave cooking, and he's included

stress -reducing poses, too.

This half -tortoise is very effective.

Thank you.

Either one of you got an aspirin?

Sorry, Lieutenant, I never get headaches. The rabbit position, sir. It

cranial circulation.

I said aspirin.

I need an aspirin.

Oh, now, give me a break, will you? The doctor said to stay away from pressure

and all this stuff. I'm getting to relax. He's driving me completely crazy.

Well, not this, sir. It's guaranteed to provide tranquility.

Oh, the rangers.

The pockets, sir. Huh?

Pockets.

Oh, hey, yeah, this is going to relax me all right. And the Leafs, we always

beat the Leafs. What do you say, Coleman, you up for this, huh? You want

with me? You're on, Lieutenant.

Hey, everybody, listen up.

I'm back.

I'm here and I'm staying here.

So thanks for your gifts, but no thanks. Donate them somewhere.

Now back to work, all of you.

Why don't you turn down practice blossoms, sir?

They turn me down.

We've got a captain from Philadelphia.

Well, it's their loss, sir.

Besides, I've got to face this thing here.

They've got no pastrami there.

And I've got to cope with pastrami.

I can't run away from it.

No matter what, I'm glad you're staying, sir.

You haven't ever asked me.

So I come in, and I'm wearing this gorgeous little purple hat with a little

curled -up brim, a cloche, they call it, like Greta Garbo wore in the Nautica.

And I do this little turn in front of Harvey, and I say, what do you think,

Harv? And he says, I think it's great.

What else did you get?

So I said, this is a Saks Fifth Avenue original design, Harvey. This is it.

$900, he said.

You spent $900 on a hat?

Harvey, I said, you told me to have a good time. But then Harvey got this kind

of shocked look on his face. And to say the truth, I was kind of worried about

his blood pressure. So that's when I told him about the washer and dryer.

20 % off I got, plus the purple cloche.

California avocado, the both of them, a matched pair.

The washer has four different cycles, and it's got this little light around

dial, the kind that stays on all the time. So at night, when we go down the

basement, in the dark, we'll be able to see this little glow, this glow, even if

all the other lights are off. And the dryer has this little bell that's

tingling, you know, when the permafrost cycle is over.

Now that the clothes just don't sit there, getting all greased in the hot

they come out all fluffy and smooth.

No ironing whatsoever.

You ever see anything like that in your life?

Christine?

Nothing on it.

Oh, don't give me nothing. What is it?

My dad's a drunk.

I can't make him stop.

I don't know how.

Hey.

Come here.

Let's go now.