Original subtitles

American is here doing some research for her TV show. She bombs in, shakes her

maracas, and everybody turns upside down.

You ought to be working homicide or breaking up drug rings.

That's all the stuff I do on TV.

I was in Hollywood. Detective Deedee nails her purse by yelling...

Hold it, big boy. Hold it, big boy. Not only did you lose a collar, but you lost

him on TV. You think all I am is a tight dress and a push -up bra.

The cockpit.

Well, you're wrong.

I told

you,

Victor, it's only open to black investors.

Probably picked up in Harlem. You're not the only one he discriminates against.

I have a difficult time with rejection, Marcus. Gentlemen, it's not personal.

Come on, Marcus. Our money is just as mean as black money.

Victor, take my cold swab.

Coleman, pick up. Talk about Jewish guilt.

Touch it up with your hand.

Hey, we're partners.

Hey, I'm hungry.

I hate it when I do that.

Please, guys, clear the way, please. Thank you. Clear the way, guys. Clear

please. Whoa.

What's going on? Well, I'll be here in a second.

That's Vicki Young. John Nathan.

It really is. She's even picturing a person.

All right, okay, that's all for now.

We'll be back, Alan. Relax. One more.

A woman defies gravity.

Who is she?

I don't plan on you to live on, Marcus. It's D .D. St. James, M .Y .P .D. I

don't watch TV. I can't believe it. It's Detective D .D. Coleman, tell me you

don't watch that show.

And you don't, huh?

I think it's stupid.

Yeah, what's wrong with it?

For openers, it's a jiggle show.

So you do watch it?

I've seen the promos.

The last cop show I liked was Gunsmoke.

Every week, all she does is go undercover as a hunker.

Yeah, but she's got great legs.

Step back.

Let everyone's attention here, please.

Keep standing next to her, no problem.

Barrington is here doing some research for her TV show, and she'll be with us

a civilian observer until the end of this week.

All police persons present at the mayor's office expect full cooperation.

This endeavor with representatives from the television community offers a unique

opportunity to promote both the NYPD and the city of New York.

Who is he kidding? They film it in L .A.

Daniels and I have discussed the matter, and Ms. Barrington will be assigned to

detectives Petrie and Uzbeki.

Thank you, God.

Gentlemen, Uzbeki's the name crimes the game.

Anybody ever tell you that your eyes twinkle like emeralds?

Yes.

And the night sky?

That too.

How do you do?

My name is Detective Marcus Petrie. Hello, I'm Vicki.

Marcus, would you excuse me for a moment, please?

Lieutenant Daniel. Yes.

I was hoping I might be assigned to one of your women detectives.

Well, we just feel an interracial team would look better in the media.

We're interracial and my white guy's smart.

All right, come on. Let's go.

Vicki, honey.

She'd be the only woman in the picture.

Let's get something straight right now. I'm not doing this for the publicity.

I'm here to learn what real policewomen go through.

If I'm not assigned to a policewoman, there's really no point in my doing

is there?

All right.

There's been a change in the Barrington assignment.

Petrie and Becky are off.

And Cagney and Lacey are on.

Nothing. I have nothing to wear.

I should have gone to the cleaners, Harvey. We have to go to the cleaners

tomorrow. Look at me. I'm a nervous wreck and she's not even in the room.

it is dangerous enough out there without having to worry about some plastic

Hollywood bimbo getting in the way. Well, that's not fair, Harvey. She

look like a bimbo to me.

You got that close?

What do you mean you got that close?

You think everything is real?

I didn't ask.

Usually you can tell if you... Never mind.

If you ask me, her show is strictly for kids.

You watch it.

What can I say? I'm a kid at heart.

She said that she has come to New York City to learn how to make her show

better. The only reason she is here is to get publicity to boost her ratings.

The show is in trouble.

Who told you that?

I read it in TV Guide. I don't know what you're getting so nervous about.

She's no better than anyone else. She's just an actress.

You wouldn't say that about Noreen Dixon.

She was in the movie. Yes, and Vicki... Barrington. Barrington is on TV.

Different, Mary Beth. These people, they come into your home every week. You get

to know them better than you do your own neighbors. I don't know any of my

neighbors, but I doubt that any one of them looks like her.

Hey,

you scrape away the glitter and tinsel, and what do you got?

Glitter and tinsel.

Me?

I'm like a real woman.

What do you mean by that?

She's just another pretty face.

Oh, and real women are not pretty? I didn't mean that.

What did you mean? Real women are beautiful, just like you.

That's a good answer, Harvey.

You may say.

his new cologne.

What, did he gargle with it? No.

What are you, jealous? How can I be jealous of anyone who keeps you away

me?

Dagny, what's going on?

Yeah, like that, I didn't know you'd be here so bright and early in the morning.

Just one more. I want you to write to my friend Rocco. We'll always have

Brooklyn love and kisses.

Yes, Casito, I said to get back to work. Yes, sir.

Thank you.

All right, everybody, carry on.

Carry on.

Good morning.

I'll have to get back to you on that.

Thanks, I'm fine, really.

How about a soft drink?

Nope.

If you need it, the ladies' room is over that way.

Not in the best of conditions. We've been meaning to paint it.

Well, as long as the plumbing works. Oh, it does.

Most of the time.

You want to sit over my desk?

Sure.

Okay, I like that.

Here.

Oh, uh, go ahead.

Comfortable?

You

saw

what happened out there.

I don't like it any more than you do, but I got my orders from downtown.

It's demeaning. Have you ever seen her TV show?

She makes a joke out of what we do.

Come on, Cagney. It's just a TV show.

Lieutenant.

Detective Deedee nails her perps by yelling, Hold it, big boy.

No kidding.

No kidding.

You know, I was in Hollywood in May.

Really? Vacation?

No, business.

It was so interesting.

But I miss my family.

Boy, I know that one.

It's not easy working 12 hours a day.

12 hours?

Sometimes 14.

And then going home to take care of your kid.

Some days it's hard.

And some days it's impossible.

Got any pictures?

Yeah. I knew you did.

There. That's my husband.

And this is Harvey Jr.

He's named after his father.

Of course, that's what Jr. usually means, isn't it?

And this is... That's Michael.

And this is my new one. That's little baby Alice.

Little baby Alice.

He's a sweetie, huh? You're a lucky girl.

Bet your life.

I'm the second whip here. I've got better things to do.

You got some big case going?

You know, as well as I do, it could change. Just like that.

Nice try, Cagney.

We could always give her back to Petrie and Miss Becky.

We'd rather not.

Look what she's wearing.

So clue her in.

Show her what the well -dressed cop is wearing.

Fine, Lieutenant.

I'll babysit her, all right?

And the crime rate is going to skyrocket.

And I'll explain it to the mayor.

You know, I don't get it.

I can't get into your deal because I'm not black.

I can't go running around with D .D. St. James because I'm not a woman.

I remember when being a white male used to mean something.

What's her name? You know, she really does have a wonderful smile.

Oh.

Oh, she looks like you.

It's the same temple.

Peaches and cream.

Speaking of peaches, you look really great in that color.

It really compliments your skin tone. Oh, you like it?

I picked it up on Rodeo Drive. I mean, Rodeo.

Ladies, time to hit what we like to call the streets.

Got a lot of loose ends to tie up today.

It's only fair to tell you that it's not Hollywood out there.

That's why I'm here. Get down and dirty, I want to see everything.

Sergeant Cagney, I'm sure that there were plenty of other cases in the army,

Miss Barrington wants to see what real detectives go through.

We got trouble.

That van's been following us the last four turns.

This is Detective Park 21.

Oh, wait a minute. That's my PR van.

What in the hell is it doing following us? Detective Park 21, disregard the

transmission. Well, they probably want to get pictures of my first date.

Hold on!

Oh, gee.

We lost him. What a shame.

Do you want to pull over?

Okay,

we start by pulling all the files marked May 1973.

There you go. Thanks for watching.

You ready to get down and dirty, Ms. Barrington?

Oh!

I'm so sorry.

You guys had to come all the way down this good row to deliver a pocket comb

a rabbit's foot?

We have to deliver the deceased first to look back. Better than delivering the

deceased.

Watch him here. Be careful.

Hey!

You're going to touch him?

Now we know who watches her show.

Multiple gunshot wounds.

Infants to the right and left chest cavity.

Major exit below the lung.

38, you think?

Are you kidding? You put your fist through that hole. That's a .358 Magnum.

The M .E. says he'll meet us after his autopsy.

Poor old man was dead nine days before anybody found him.

If you don't mind, I think I'm going to go up front and get some air.

Oh, sure. Sure.

I don't think Detective Deedee can take it.

I couldn't either my first time, could you?

What?

All right, okay. I'll put the gun back. I'll put the gun. Okay? No problem.

Just use it. Use it any way you feel.

Okay? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Vicki, lick your lips, hon. Guess she's feeling better.

That's it. Good, good. Bye.

Now provocative. Give me a provocative one. Huh?

That's it. You got it.

Good, good, good.

You better stop now, Mark.

No, no, no. Hey, you got better things to do. We'll finish without you.

I can hang in as long as you can.

Her feet must be killing her.

I'll call you at the hotel later, okay?

First.

What the hell do you think you were doing?

The prop.

You're kidding.

He didn't know that.

I sure as hell didn't. Calm down, Christine.

Don't you have any sense at all? You could have gotten yourself killed.

Oh, forget that lady. No way. I'm no killer. I'm just a little down on my

You keep your mouth shut.

If anything happens to you, it's our butts.

Vicki, Vicki, Vicki.

Vicki, we have hit the jackpot. They're going to eat this up. Eat this up. Come

on. More immediate release today.

Life imitations are... Vicki Barrington, television cop, D .D. St.

James, A .Y .T .D.

Now the real life criminal on the streets of New York today.

Hey, am I on TV?

Is this going to go out to the tri -state area? Nobody.

What if she'd get off having those press idiots follow us anyway?

Oh, Vicki doesn't do that.

The studio does that for me.

Vicki?

She asked me to call her that.

She's not so bad.

How'd you like the way she stopped that push, love?

Thought he was on TV.

You should have seen the look on your face.

Hold it, big boy.

Yeah, okay.

What do you think?

I could really get into this.

Well, that's not my style, but I bet it'd set you back a few bucks.

Victor, you have to dress for success.

So once you make your killing in real estate, you're going to quit the force?

I don't think so.

That's a little premature.

Well, it can't be too far off if you're chowing down on Che Andres.

I've always wanted to go there.

Yeah, me too, Victor.

Au revoir.

What did he mean by that?

She bounces around in a silk suit and high heel.

Gloria Steinem wears high heels.

And her hair, David.

There's so much bleach on it, I bet her brain's gone soft.

What'd you say, Blondie?

This happens to be my natural color.

A few highlights here and there. Wait a minute.

Are you saying a woman can't be intelligent and beautiful? Besides you,

course. I am saying that Detective Dee Dee NYPD is bubble gum for the brain.

Entertainment is food for the soul.

And a stitch in time saves nine.

Damn it, David, it is exploitive. And she does it off screen, too.

She goes wiggling around, slapping her eyelashes, reeking of perfume in the

mint. They just drop dead right there like idiots.

That's pretty sexy, you know.

You're saying that's all we care about?

Are you saying you're only interested in my mind?

Absolutely.

And the way you smell.

Lovely evening. I'll call you tomorrow.

Good night. Good night, now.

This is our year, Claudia. I can feel it.

It's like Conway says.

We make a few thousand on the rec center site, leverage it, move on to the next

buy. Leverage it, Mike?

It's a great deal.

Conway's got his sources down at City Hall.

He knows what he's talking about.

Seems like it anyway.

Randolph Conway is a Harvard MBA.

We couldn't have a better partner.

I've read articles about this man. He has a very impressive track record. And

his heart's in the right place.

We're doing something for the community.

Good morning.

Good morning, Chris.

Good to believe all these flowers.

She died.

Good morning.

Good morning!

I'm sorry about all the photographers and stuff outside.

I brought you some breakfast.

Oh, gee, thanks.

Look, Christine, croissant.

Oh, no, thanks. I'll pass.

I prefer... Water bagel, no butter, like French.

Say, thank you, Christine.

Who are your sources?

Morning, beautiful.

Hi, Ronald.

Something on your mind, Coleman?

Or is that a contradiction in terms?

Ah, burglary. You're too right.

Oh, good.

Real police work.

Which hopefully we might get to today.

If we ever get past your media mob.

No problem. Follow me. I know all the moves.

Christine, don't.

So there isn't a slang expression.

Stakeout is just a stakeout. Not if you've ever been on one.

Do you ever carry more than one weapon at a time?

Oh, some do.

But I don't know anybody that carries a gun in her brassiere like Detective

Deedy.

I fight the producers on that every season.

So silly.

It's dangerous, too.

You could shoot off a big part of your career that way.

How often do you call in a SWAT team?

Oh, whenever Sly Stallone's out of town.

Well, next time I see him, I'll tell him you said that.

Detective Lacey, do you have an answer that isn't quite denied?

Here in New York, they're known as special services, and we usually call

whenever it's necessary.

It

would

have been perfect.

Candlelight, flowers.

Soft music.

And Veronica.

Isn't she beautiful?

I cut this out of the company paper.

Very nice. About the theft, sir? It took me over a year to ask her out, and he

had to spoil it.

Mr. Andrews, why do you think your neighbor's Julius Dario?

Because last night he pounded on the wall and hollered, Today, it's gone.

Well, we need a little more than that to go on.

He's just the type.

Law and order mean nothing to him.

Fine. We'll talk with Mr.

Levitt, right?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Ron Levitt, apartment 3C.

Miss Barrington, may I say how much I enjoy your show?

Thank you.

It's nice to see the good guys win.

Yes.

Too bad we don't have her writers.

Mr. Levitt, why do you think your neighbor has it in for you?

Difference of lifestyle.

I'm a nice guy. He's a fascist. Want a beer?

No, thanks. Sweet of you to offer.

Oh, if real cops look like you, I'd clean up my act and join the force.

Speaking as one of those plain old real cops, I wonder if you might answer a few

more questions.

What do you mean, fascist?

He's a survivalist. Goes out on the weekend, shoots paint pellets at his

friends.

Mr. Randall's next door? A little man?

Yeah, Hitler -sized.

Uh, listen, do you want to, uh...

Search me or anything?

Unless you have any other information for us, Mr.

Levitt, I think we'll be moving along.

Wait, there is one more thing.

Will you take our picture?

Sit.

Do you think Levitt took the stereo?

Hard to tell.

That's what keeps us on our toes.

We can't flip to the end of the script to see who really did it.

Well, maybe Andrews had some sort of personal vendetta.

Could be.

Levitt's big, Andrews isn't. I never noticed that.

You know, I had a short director once.

Very belligerent.

I always figured he had a complex about being a short man in a tall world.

That's a possibility.

I know motivation's important.

Motive. Right, that's what I meant.

So are we going to take Levitt's word for it?

Or are we going to talk to some character women?

We?

Oh, we have work to do.

And I'm disturbing you.

Well, these case descriptions are very interesting, Vicki.

Look, why don't you just call it a day?

And you've made it a very special day, Sergeant.

I won't leave until you do.

Excuse me.

Mind your way?

Frankly, yes.

Sergeant Watson for the Black Howard News.

Hey, how are you doing?

So what did you decide?

Yeah, I know it's a lot of money, but like I told you before, Conway's very

connected.

It's track record.

It's the best.

Excuse me, Daddy Warbuff. We do have a case to get.

Great. You won't be sorry.

Hey, Victor.

Have us something to pick up your day, huh?

Come on, future me, we're on the grease on a telly kick.

Yeah, very tempting, Victor, but I think I'll stick with the gals.

Hey, come on, we're getting really close.

Wouldn't you love to be there when we nail him?

You can't do that, Victor. It's too dangerous.

Why, I didn't know you cared, Sergeant Cagney.

Just departmental rules, that's all.

Sergeant Cagney, 14th.

The day is on a roll, Victor. You ready to chase Donatelli's butt? Just

remember, Marcus, money corrupts. Now, that's power, Victor. Yeah, same thing.

Yes, uh, yes, hello, Ms. Andrews. You know, I've been meaning to ask you all

week. Did you ever meet Noreen Dixon?

Yes, once at MGM.

Yes, and I remember... MGM.

Oh, she was my favorite. What did it say?

Except for you, I mean. No, she was my favorite, too, believe me. No kidding?

Mm -hmm.

Small world, huh?

No, no, do not touch anything, Mr. Andrews. No, no.

We'll be right there.

Won't we?

What makes you think that it's Mr. Leavitt?

Who else could it be?

Mr. Andrews will need something more to go on than that, sir. You know, a

witness or some physical evidence.

Thank you, Detective Dee Dee.

In the meantime, Mr. Andrews, we will talk with Mr. Leavitt.

Good day.

Must be frustrating. 25 years experience between the two of you and you're still

investigating graffiti.

You ought to be working homicide or breaking up drug rings.

All the stuff I do on TV.

Okay, where does Levitt work?

Brooklyn at a brewery. You'll be good at figuring that out.

Sidecasting. We have a 10 -13 in Merston.

33rd, request silent response.

That's a call for assistance, no siren.

This is Detective Card 21. We are in the vicinity, and we will respond

forthwith. And this is where you get out. You'll have to find your own way

to the squad room. Oh, no, you can't dump me here. This is just the kind of

thing I need to see. Too bad. There may be trouble.

I can handle... Out of the car, lady!

Oh, it's Petrina. It's Becky Card 21.

What do we got?

Tip came down. Reese is making a deal.

Five minutes ago, he bought a ticket, strolled right in the front door.

So we're finally going to catch this one.

What's this we, Cagney? This is our color.

Uniforms have got the back sealed off. You'll cover the front. We'll go in,

flush them out.

Let's do it.

Remember, this guy is slippery.

Check this out, man.

I know, man. It's going to have television. What the hell is going on?

I don't believe this.

You want to get that vehicle out of here?

You want to get your van out?

You lose a caller, but you lost him on TV. We couldn't help it, Lieutenant. He

blended right into the crowd.

Barrington got in the way.

Well, you should have dropped her as soon as you got the call.

I practically threw her out of the car.

Sir, she hitched a ride with a TV news van. Yeah, her limo must have been busy.

Then when they got the call to cover the incident, she wound up in the middle of

everything. Three months down the drain.

You look like the Keystone Cops, Lieutenant.

I say we dump D .D.

Hey, these things happen.

She blew your collar. Now how can you stand there like it was nothing?

Hey, I can get over it. Say if Deedee was reassigned to us, sir? This is not a

dating bureau.

Lieutenant, I want it on record that Vicki Barrington is personally

for our having lost this collar.

Sergeant, we all agree it's been a very disappointing afternoon here, but you

can't say Miss Barrington caused it. Well, I don't think the crowds were

crazy to get this Becky's autograph.

We can't even eat a tuna fish sandwich without people gawking, Lieutenant.

She doesn't belong here.

Send her in.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

I don't want to see you.

Did you put in a good word for me?

It was not entirely her fault.

Yeah, it sure was.

I don't want to be the lieutenant right now.

Then again, I wouldn't want to be Vicki either.

Would you mind telling me why she's smiling?

Why is he smiling?

I don't read lips.

See you in the morning.

Take it easy, Chris.

Dean?

Good night.

I didn't

see any maracas shaking. I'm telling you, Mary Beth, you can't trust a woman

like her. Exactly what kind of a woman is that?

The kind of a woman who will use whatever it takes to get whatever she

Mary Beth, when I use a little charm, I do it for a good cause. I didn't say a

word. I protect people from crime.

Uh -huh.

So it's okay to use a little charm in your job, but it's not okay in hers.

You sound like you almost like her. Well, it can't be easy, Christine. She's

trying to raise a child by herself. She's working hard at that job where

are fussing all over you every minute of the day.

I'm telling you, she is as phony as the airhead she plays.

Now, how do you know?

Do you ever bother to get to know her?

Okay, fine. You think she's terrific?

I think she's a bimbo.

So what are you going to do, invite the bimbo home for dinner?

I might, if I had a dining room set.

Thought you people didn't use those things.

Right.

Time means everything, isn't it?

Vicki, I am so sorry.

Well, I'm known.

It's a picnic working with you two, Sergeant. You asked for it. I didn't

that publicity would get out of hand. Oh, come on. You thrive on it. I didn't

leave my kid to come here for a publicity stunt.

I came here to make Dee Dee a better cop. Why? So that your advertisers could

sell more toilet paper? No, so I can feel good about what I do for a living.

By making a joke out of what I do.

We put our tails out on the line every single day. You don't even have a clue

to what we're up against.

And I'm never going to if you keep acting like an adolescent.

You don't want Dee Dee to be a bimbo. Why don't you help me change her?

She hates it when we lose a collar.

Tomorrow, it'll be like nothing happened.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm going to go back to my hotel and eat dinner, read some stupid scripts until

I fall asleep.

Unless you meant what you said.

What I said about what?

Am I having dinner at your place?

Oh, you wouldn't really want to do that.

Mary Beth, I'd love to. I didn't bring the wine.

Gee, sure.

Awkies from around the world seem to go out nicely.

She certainly has a healthy appetite.

She loved your spaghetti sauce.

She cleaned the plate twice. You notice, even finished my ice cream.

You see her boots?

Ostrich.

For a tall woman, she sure can't handle heels.

It's poised.

Sexy, too.

Yeah, and smart.

I mean, who would have thought you know all about the side you don't like in

Nicaragua? Not to mention El Salvador.

No glamorous woman like that.

People seem to treat her like she's some kind of total dim -dum or a queen.

Not fair, really.

You are so beautiful, Mary Beth.

Huh?

First time I saw you, I knew you were the most gorgeous woman alive.

Oh, Harvey, cut it out.

Look at me a second. I'm not kidding.

Sometimes I see you and it almost hurts.

Your eyes.

And these perfect cheekbones.

Harv. Your smile, it just puts me away.

Thank you, Harvey.

My smile and what else?

Do you think I'm judgmental?

I think you have very strong opinions.

Stop pussyfooting around.

Okay, sometimes you're judgmental. I am not!

I just can't stand her.

Oh, that's funny.

Because you're a lot alike.

Would you like to get kicked out of bed?

When you're beautiful and smart and ambitious and hardworking, Chris, people

find that intimidating.

I am not intimidated by Vicki Barrington. That was supposed to be a

Do you realize she's the only thing we've talked about since she showed up

the 14th? She's not.

Is she?

Chris, I don't care what the competition is on any level, man or woman.

You can handle it.

Man or woman, huh?

But only an extremely secure man could admit that.

I guess it means you're not intimidated by me, right?

Me?

Oh.

I love a pushy broad.

Well, if I had a Landy on Warsaw, I'd let you in.

You're not getting the point, Victor. You always think I'm stupid.

That's it, isn't it?

You don't think I'm good enough because I can't order food in French. Well, this

happens to be the United States of America. No, Victor, that's not it. Then

is the racial thing.

Victor, listen.

The fact is, the land deal is not in Warsaw, it's in Harlem.

And it's time for those of us who have been fortunate to give something back to

the black community. Victor, this is about a black dreaming.

A chance for black professionals to build something there that could help

difference. You understand what I'm talking about?

Sure. Discrimination.

Good morning, lady!

You don't worry about calories, do you? Sure I do. If I don't eat like a pig,

I'll blow away.

Gee, I thought I had problems.

I've just called. He's still at home.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Good morning, Ronald.

Morning, Vick.

Yes,

Harvey.

Yes, honey.

Okay, I will.

Tell him thanks again for last night and the spaghetti was... Vicki says hi.

She loved your sauce.

Yes, yes, I will.

I'll tell her.

All right, sweetheart.

Bye, honey.

Sergeant Cagney, 14.

Harvey says that the boys are still reeling.

You're so lucky to have boys, too. And they're so sweet.

Especially Harp Jr.

You should see him when you're not around. Uh -huh.

Well, we're on our way.

That is, if you ladies have time.

How about the scene when they're in the gondola and he takes Miss Dixon into his

arms? Oh, didn't you think your heart would just stop?

You guys want to end the trip down memory lane here and get back to some

work? Only this time you stay in the car.

We won't be long.

Why'd you listen to a radio call?

Whatever you... This is the...

These will tell you what all the numbers mean and you'll know what they're

talking about.

Why don't you give her a break?

Why should I?

She makes a million dollars a year doing her job. Let her put up with me. Oh,

come on, Christine. It's not a million dollars.

You're right. With reruns, it's more.

So how was dinner?

Here's a chemical thing, Christine, that does something to men.

After 18 years of marriage, I never saw Harvey so... I don't even know what it

was, but they all had it. Even the boys.

Even Michael.

Kind of reminded me of when they first met you.

You know, she can't help being who she is, Christine. I know exactly how you

feel. Same way I feel every time we go check evidence with Cervantes.

What does Cervantes have to do with anything?

We go in together.

And it's, hello, Sergeant Cagney. How you doing, Sergeant Cagney? I may as

have stayed in the car.

And when we go to the lab, Solomon offers you sushi. Me, I get fiber

Don't tell me you never noticed.

Well, maybe one or two times.

You know how men are.

How do you think I feel having to trade dates with Brudinsky for a couple of

lousy parking tickets?

Oh, you've never kept a date with him yet. See what I mean?

Look, I bothered you so much, why didn't you say something?

Well, what are you supposed to do? Stop wearing smart clothes and start

retaining water?

It's the way it is, that's all.

The same thing with Vicki Farrington. Doesn't mean she's not a nice person.

I thought this was a sure thing.

I know that, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

What happened?

The city of New York chose another site for the rec center.

It's three blocks away.

You lost all your money?

According to the man with all the answers, it's just tied up.

Indefinitely.

It's not just me.

I got Watson and Thomas into this thing, too.

Hey, you didn't put a knife in that throat.

I can back to that.

He looked so hurt.

And so did the dealer.

I just saw what I wanted to see.

Maybe what I wanted to be.

This was the chance to show off for Claudia.

Hey, Marcus, look at it this way.

Whatever Claudia married you for, sure wasn't money, right?

Can't argue with that.

Did you believe that, Andrews? Hitting his head in the shower and then trying

frame Mr. Levin on assault charges.

Little runt.

Well, Mary Beth, we have it on the best of authority that short men are very

dangerous.

My PR man's outside. He'd like to get some pictures of the three of us.

Oh, that'd be nice.

Won't that be nice, Christine?

Maybe I could get some copies for the kids.

Whatever you like, Mary Beth.

Well, that'll be swell.

How about you, Sergeant?

Spare five minutes for the enemy?

I'm going to fix my face.

I'll meet you in a couple minutes.

Come on, Sergeant. Fake a smile for the camera.

You really want to play this thing out?

You don't want a picture of me for your scrapbook, and I don't want to be part

of your Hollywood hype, okay?

Tell me something.

Is it just me, or do you have a problem with all women?

Look, it was your idea to come here.

Now, nobody sent you an engraved invitation. If you can't take the heat,

hell out of the kitchen. I can take anything you can dish out, but I resent

lady. You think all I am is a tight dress and a push -up bra.

The cup fits. Well, you're wrong.

I answered phones, waited tables, and parked cars for my acting lesson.

And then I had to get past agents, producers, and directors who still

should sleep my way to the top. Look, I read Hollywood Wives.

And in case you haven't noticed, I have to deal with men, too.

Well, then you ought to know what I'm talking about.

Nobody taking me seriously. Not one of them giving me credit for having a brain

in my head.

And now you?

I thought you'd give me a chance to prove myself.

Why? Because I'm a woman? Why not?

We both paid our dues.

But I guess you don't give a damn about any woman's career except your own.

Come on, team. Big smile.

Cheese.

Nigel. Ah.

Do I have too much eye makeup on, Vicki? No, you look fine, Mary Beth.

Take a terrible picture.

Most of my pictures look like mug shots.

The only person that ever took a good picture of me was Christine.

Team. Tighter.

Tighter. Thick.

More profile.

Tied more cheekbone. Okay?

Nigel.

Why don't we get a picture of just me and Mary Beth?

That's a great idea.

Sure. Guys.

Just the gals.

Okay, okay.

I know where this one is going.

This one's going straight to Harvey's wallet.

All right.

Super,

here comes the blonde.

Squeeze in there on the end, sweetheart.

Don't call me sweetheart.

Where would you like me to stay in North Barrington?

Anywhere you feel comfortable, Sergeant.