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My guy is a senior citizen living on a
government pension. Your guy works in a
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bar. Oh, right, he works in a bar, so
let's lock him up.
3
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,840
Your guy turns out to be a convicted
confidence man.
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00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,820
So I am suing your department lady and
the lottery.
5
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:18,399
You spent two million dollars in 11
months? You always like to play. I wish
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00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,919
could be arrested right now and locked
away forever.
7
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,459
Are you trying to confess, sir?
8
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Would you like us to call your attorney?
9
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You let the suspect tip you down? We
both agree that he's innocent. Let's
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00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,900
so. Nice doggy. I got a bad shit
somewhere.
11
00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:37,370
Oh, this is awful, Christine.
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It wasn't just the one charity. I had a
whole lot of other receipts in here.
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I told you not to do your own taxes.
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No wonder you're being ordered.
15
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,230
Thank you, Christine.
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I never, ever do my own taxes. Well, you
usually have a man to them, but... Yes,
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00:02:53,051 --> 00:02:54,829
Victor? You're getting ordered, huh?
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No kidding.
19
00:02:55,881 --> 00:02:57,509
No kidding.
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00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,560
By the IRS?
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00:02:58,561 --> 00:03:01,769
No, Victor, they're being audited by the
Department of Agriculture.
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00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:02,820
Hey,
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00:03:02,821 --> 00:03:04,409
Cagney, I got a question for you.
24
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If you could have any dog that you
wanted, what kind of dog would you pick?
25
00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,310
This is a trick question.
26
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,640
No, really, the annual dog show at the
garden opens this week.
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00:03:12,641 --> 00:03:16,989
It's just out of my mind. Victor, you've
never been interested in dog shows.
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00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:19,829
Sometimes I'd like to do it. What is
this, one of those personality tests out
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00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:20,769
your magazines?
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00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:24,429
You ask me what kind of dog I like, and
I say, oh, a Doberman Pinscher. And
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you'll say, hey, guys, Cagney. Jagney
just said a Doberman feature.
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No, no, it's really just for me.
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Hey, call me.
34
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Jagney said Doberman feature.
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Anyway.
36
00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,949
What happened with your tax man?
37
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:45,770
Oh, he got off probation. I moved to
South Carolina.
38
00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:47,720
Off probation?
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00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:50,170
You had an ex -con doing your taxes?
40
00:03:50,171 --> 00:03:53,709
He was a very good worker, Christina. We
never got ordered it before.
41
00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:54,760
I was very worried.
42
00:03:54,761 --> 00:03:55,869
Peggy, Lacey.
43
00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:56,849
Good morning, sir.
44
00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,310
Huh? Good morning.
45
00:03:58,810 --> 00:03:59,950
Oh, yeah, good morning.
46
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:03,800
Listen, you two are up. Just took a call
about a crime at the lottery office.
47
00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:05,290
I see Mrs.
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00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:07,669
Burnside there. What kind of crime?
49
00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:10,789
She said she would explain to the
detectives when they get there.
50
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:11,840
So get there.
51
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:13,780
Yes, sir.
52
00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:17,949
Lotteries are held all over the country,
all over the world. Why does this have
53
00:04:17,950 --> 00:04:18,949
to happen to me?
54
00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:21,360
Bet the state lotteries never had this
problem.
55
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:23,890
Now, what exactly is it that happened?
56
00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:30,269
particular lottery was drawn almost one
full year ago and two winners were paid
57
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:35,649
already. Two million apiece. We put out
a news release that the time limit is
58
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:41,150
almost up and now these two men are each
presenting winning tickets.
59
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:44,750
So good for them, right? They both get
two million dollars.
60
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:49,689
The problem is there were only three
winning tickets printed. One of those
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00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:53,430
men out there is attempting to
perpetrate a fraud.
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00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:12,309
So, then after Charlene died, I had to
sell everything, you know, to pay the
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00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,890
doctors, and I moved into the projects.
64
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,370
What a nice neighborhood.
65
00:05:17,371 --> 00:05:18,509
I see, sir.
66
00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:21,580
And you, uh, you purchased a ticket at
your local newsstand?
67
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:22,820
Yeah, I must have.
68
00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:26,309
I mean, doesn't it say on the ticket,
isn't there a special code or something?
69
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:29,650
Well, I don't know, but, uh, if there
is, we'll check on that, too.
70
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,080
Now you say you got this ticket as a
gift?
71
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:36,850
Oh, yeah, it's a funny story.
72
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:41,430
See, this bar I work in, the glide -in,
gets sort of a mixed bunch.
73
00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,910
So this guy, his name is Tommy.
74
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,210
He comes in a few months back. He has a
couple of belts.
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00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:51,869
And then he reaches in his pocket to
give me a tip. Only thing, he's flat
76
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:52,849
-busted, see?
77
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:57,409
I see. Yeah, so all he had is this old
lottery ticket, all gummy and wrinkled
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00:05:57,410 --> 00:06:02,230
up. Forgot he even had it. Then he gives
it to me as a tip, which I saw.
79
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:05,770
So I got it framed and hung it over the
bar.
80
00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:09,630
The worst tip I ever got. Can you beat
that?
81
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:14,260
Oh, it's good.
82
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,380
Yeah.
83
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:19,950
There's nothing wrong, is there,
officer? I do get the money, don't I?
84
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:21,110
sir, when it do get paid.
85
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,960
But we have to clear up a few things
first, all right?
86
00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:25,740
Okay.
87
00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,940
Now, you had this ticket all along, and
you didn't know it.
88
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,350
It's lucky I never throw anything away.
89
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,530
Hey, Tommy, do you remember his last
name?
90
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,640
Listen, if you glide in and you ask a
guy his last name, he don't come back.
91
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,290
Okay.
92
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,100
No last name.
93
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,880
And you missed the drawing on TV.
94
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,640
I don't have a TV.
95
00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:52,959
There's one down at the senior center,
but I don't like to go down there after
96
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,000
dark. Uh -huh. What about the newspaper?
97
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,490
Well, I had to let my subscription run
out. It was too much money.
98
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,400
And I don't have any friends or family
even to tell me.
99
00:07:01,661 --> 00:07:05,119
That is a winning number, isn't it?
100
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,800
Oh, yes, sir. It's the right number.
101
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,110
Oh, boy.
102
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,779
You know, I always managed to get by,
you know, but, well, 40 years with the U
103
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,399
.S. Postal Service, I always thought
that would be enough with my pension and
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00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,450
all.
105
00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:20,830
Funny it sure isn't.
106
00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:27,939
Sir, um, forgive me for asking this, but
I was wondering, if you have so little
107
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:31,670
money, sir, how is it that you can
afford to buy all these lottery tickets?
108
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:36,870
Well, it's probably foolish, I know, but
no man's got to have a dream.
109
00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:40,880
Yes, sir.
110
00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:48,250
Oh, why does this have to happen to me?
I'm not a bad person.
111
00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,230
What did I do to deserve this?
112
00:07:50,231 --> 00:07:53,569
It'll work out, Mrs. Burnside. Now, let
me ask you something. Don't the tickets
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00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:57,210
have a magnetic strip on them like a
credit card to prevent forgery?
114
00:07:57,211 --> 00:08:01,199
No, that was the old lottery. The new
ones just have the computer code number.
115
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,780
That's why this is such a mess.
116
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:06,219
Wait, wait. Why can't the two tickets be
verified on the computer?
117
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:10,840
Because the computer dumped the coding
data. I beg your pardon? Dumped. Erased.
118
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,440
Happened about ten months ago.
119
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:16,819
Oh, I don't know. It was a freak
accident. It hasn't happened again. I
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00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:20,820
was an accident. But you think that they
will remember that? Oh, no.
121
00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:23,960
It was my lottery, so it will be my
mistake.
122
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:28,819
There'll go my chances for a seat on the
racing and wagering board. The lab will
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00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:29,900
pick up on the forgery.
124
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,979
What will I tell the newspapers? What
will I tell the board?
125
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,500
It's not my fault.
126
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:36,609
Of course not.
127
00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:43,479
All I said was your guy looked like a
weasel. My guy is a sweet old postman.
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00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,530
money's on your guy.
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00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:45,930
My guy?
130
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:49,919
How much? It's a feature of speech,
Christine. You said your money was on my
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00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:50,970
guy. How much?
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00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,360
20 bucks? 20 dollars?
133
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,150
No. Ten?
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00:08:56,810 --> 00:08:57,860
Five?
135
00:08:57,861 --> 00:08:59,609
Five bucks.
136
00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:00,660
Says your guy did it.
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00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:05,049
My guy is a senior citizen living on a
government pension. Your guy works in a
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00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:08,170
bar. Oh, right. He works in a bar, so
let's lock him up.
139
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:11,200
Five bucks, Mary Beth. All right,
Christine.
140
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,790
Five dollars says it was your guy. Got
it.
141
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:17,370
It was not my guy. Five bucks.
142
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,670
Oh, what am I talking about, my guy?
143
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,500
He's not my guy.
144
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,540
He's not my guy.
145
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,080
You know where it is?
146
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,580
No, they're going to kill us, Mary Beth.
147
00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:38,019
They're going to kill us. Bobby, would
you calm down? It's not like we're some
148
00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:42,119
big -time taxi baiters. You don't
understand, Mary Beth. These guys, they
149
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,319
us. They are trained to spot the tiniest
little mistake, and once they do, that
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00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,370
is it.
151
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,140
What is this? What is what?
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00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,140
MOS, trailer rental law.
153
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:55,349
Let's move a little office space. The
job at the Senate Boulevard.
154
00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:56,730
What? No.
155
00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,030
We'll use that trailer for poker on
Friday night.
156
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,430
So? Don't you see?
157
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:04,480
I mean, the rest of the time it was
strictly for business.
158
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,909
I mean, if they disallow a deduction
this size...
159
00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:13,430
Somebody must have read it.
160
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:16,190
Why would they do that, Harvey?
161
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,270
Why? The reward, Mary Beth. The reward.
162
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:23,440
That's how they operate. I am telling
you, these guys go for the throat.
163
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:27,640
Sweetheart, do you think maybe you're
getting a little crazy here?
164
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:32,030
I'm telling you, this could be a penalty
of $500 or $600 right there.
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00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,990
Oh, one more thing.
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00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:38,710
When we get there tomorrow, do not put
your hands on the chair arms.
167
00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,169
Why not?
168
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:43,609
Because they have little senses in them
to measure your skin response to see
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00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,010
whether you are lying or not.
170
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,450
Oh, no, no, they do, Mary Beth.
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00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:49,990
I heard.
172
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,050
Can't people hold on to their perks
around here? What the hell are you
173
00:11:02,051 --> 00:11:06,739
I'll have to call the police. Hey, I'm
talking to you. No, you're shouting.
174
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:09,210
Yeah, I do that when people rifle
through my desk.
175
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,490
Now stand up. Who's your arresting
officer?
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00:11:11,491 --> 00:11:13,359
How about you? You're pretty arresting.
177
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,500
Oh, a comment, too.
178
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,920
Remove the hat and stand up. Say pretty,
please.
179
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,520
There's one item missing from my desk.
You are dead meat.
180
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:28,280
You can search me and find out. How
about strip search?
181
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:30,870
It's Becky.
182
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,960
Want to put a leash on this one?
183
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,290
Who is he?
184
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:40,040
I thought he was your perp. Maybe I
should introduce myself.
185
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:41,910
Jonah Newman.
186
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,600
Detective, third grade.
187
00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:45,200
Detective, third grade?
188
00:11:45,201 --> 00:11:47,459
You look like you're in the third grade.
189
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:48,540
And who are you?
190
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,340
Sergeant Cagney.
191
00:11:50,341 --> 00:11:52,309
And what were you doing going through my
desk?
192
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,769
What, do you always make yourself at
home in other people's squad rooms?
193
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:55,769
This is home.
194
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,200
Sergeant, I was just assigned to the
14th. I am the new kid on the block.
195
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,560
Lucky us.
196
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,750
The detective can't even find his desk.
197
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,170
Check it out with the phone.
198
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,030
She always like that?
199
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,730
Nah. Some days she can really give you a
hard time.
200
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,880
Hey, kid.
201
00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:26,629
Well, I have to meet Harvey at the
Federal Building, 1055, and I'm not sure
202
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,680
about this outfit.
203
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:29,649
What's wrong with it? You look very
nice.
204
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,209
Well, maybe I should have worn something
older, so they shouldn't think I'm some
205
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,770
kind of a clothes horse.
206
00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:37,000
Loves?
207
00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:40,830
Oh, well, Harvey heard from this
fella... Don't ask.
208
00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:44,349
Harvey's really got you spooked about
this audit.
209
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,509
Yeah, what are you doing?
210
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,620
Got the lab report on the lottery
tickets.
211
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:49,880
Findings negative.
212
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,160
Both exhibits fall within normal
parameters for fiber and ink content.
213
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,720
No detectable forgery indicated.
214
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,240
So much for this being a quick case.
215
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,420
Oh, what about the case files on Mrs.
Phelps and Costa?
216
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,960
It's starting on them.
217
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:12,490
Oh, there's nothing on Mr. Costa.
There's a couple of parking tickets.
218
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,310
What are you doing?
219
00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,160
So now I'm going to have to bet again.
220
00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:31,560
Oh, what do you know?
221
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,720
Yo guy turns out to be a convicted
confidence man.
222
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,730
How come you forgot to mention the three
to five you did at Dannemora?
223
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,860
Yeah, okay, I served a little time.
224
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:52,600
So did John Mitchell.
225
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,100
A little time.
226
00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,579
Summary probation in 1969, two counts of
fraud in 1970, six bunco arrests for
227
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:06,459
various confidence games in 1971, eight
months in men's hall, and then, of
228
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:09,710
course, there was the long stretch for
trying to play the big con.
229
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,020
I never was cut out for the big con.
230
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:15,000
My best trick was the magic wallet.
231
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,700
I've been clean for 15 years now.
232
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,400
Hey, Big Al, got you here.
233
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,110
At this hour, you have breakfast.
234
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,550
You know what that does to your stomach?
235
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:28,100
You're right.
236
00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:30,080
Scotch milk.
237
00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:32,409
Someone else is going to have to make us
drink.
238
00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:34,609
I'm afraid we'll have to take you in.
I'm sorry.
239
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:38,850
Come on, I'm telling you the truth. This
guy Tommy gave me the ticket as a tip.
240
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:43,049
Oh, yeah, the famous Tommy, who did not
happen to be around to back up your
241
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,100
story.
242
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:48,250
Listen, please don't do this to me. I
got 20 % of this place.
243
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,740
It took me a lot of years of living
straight to do it, but I did.
244
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,160
Now, finally, I get my lucky break on
the square.
245
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,300
You've got to believe me.
246
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,740
Go ahead and make your drink.
247
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,340
What are you doing?
248
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:16,160
I think you're telling the truth. I know
when somebody's lying.
249
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,490
And I don't?
250
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,580
I bet. Besides, we don't even have
enough to take him in on in the first
251
00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:23,479
You're a soft touch, Christine.
252
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,220
Yeah, well, don't let it get around.
253
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,280
Besides, I got five bucks.
254
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,850
Uh,
255
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,220
just the two dependents?
256
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,030
Until next year. We're having another
dependent.
257
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,090
Maybe.
258
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,700
Oh, that's very nice.
259
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,050
I envy you.
260
00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:53,770
Doesn't look like I'm ever going to get
married, have kids.
261
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,990
Nobody wants to date an internal revenue
inspector.
262
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,670
No, I mean it.
263
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,160
This is a horrible job.
264
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,360
People hate coming here. Not us. We got
nothing to hide.
265
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,840
Oh, now, be honest.
266
00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,959
Weren't you just dreading coming in
here?
267
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,300
No, no, I mean it's our civic duty,
right?
268
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,120
My mother wanted me to be a dentist, but
I couldn't.
269
00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:14,759
Couldn't stand the thought of hurting
people.
270
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,859
So I got a degree in accounting and I
applied to the government for a nice
271
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:18,910
secure desk job.
272
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,070
They put me here.
273
00:16:20,071 --> 00:16:25,119
You know the people who were in here
just before you, sitting right there,
274
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,679
know what they told me? What's that?
275
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,300
Told me they said, this is like pulling
teeth.
276
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,000
Isn't that something?
277
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,390
Irony.
278
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:35,199
Well, it's been pretty painless for us.
279
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,250
So far.
280
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,680
Now, let's see.
281
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,190
Mrs. Lacey is a police detective.
282
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:46,870
That's a very interesting job.
283
00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:48,310
People like policemen.
284
00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:50,070
Criminals don't like us.
285
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,610
No, I guess not.
286
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:56,309
Then they dread meeting you as much as
people dread meeting me, huh? I'm in the
287
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,449
construction business.
288
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,670
Oh, that's a very interesting job.
289
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:03,230
Lots of places to take deductions with
that job.
290
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:07,529
You can hide all kinds of expenses, and
there's almost no way to verify the
291
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:09,240
cost. No, no, no, no, Mr.
292
00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:12,879
Bittenberger. Bender. Bender. Thank you.
I thought I had all those receipts. I
293
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,950
mean, I really want to pay every penny I
owe to the government.
294
00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:19,750
Well, but you don't want to pay any more
than you owe, do you? I don't mind.
295
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:26,900
No, no, I mean... Bittenbender.
296
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,120
You seem very nice, Palmer.
297
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,780
That was an act, Mary Beth.
298
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:35,059
This is just the first interview. Wait
till the next time.
299
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,440
That's when we see the teeth.
300
00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:38,809
He didn't say anything about another
interview.
301
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,100
Let the matador tell the bull about the
sword.
302
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:44,060
What's the matter?
303
00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:46,140
Me.
304
00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:52,330
What? Come on.
305
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,130
We're going to play post office.
306
00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,340
I was thinking of getting Betty a dog.
She likes the shaggy bat mat kind.
307
00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:05,620
Those are okay.
308
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:07,480
Annual canine classic.
309
00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:10,919
Hey, Victor, maybe I'll go with you. Oh,
you'd probably be bored. No, I love
310
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:11,959
dogs, really.
311
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,019
Let me explain to you another way,
Coleman.
312
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,160
If you want to go, go.
313
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,560
But I am going alone.
314
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:19,820
That way I can leave whenever and with
whoever I want.
315
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,559
Got it? Oh, I get it. You're afraid
maybe I'm going to cramp your style, is
316
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,740
it? Not cramp, Coleman.
317
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,450
Kill.
318
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,650
Why is your partner's owners in dog
shows all of a sudden?
319
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:35,910
He says dogs shows are the place to meet
a better rate of chicks.
320
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,400
That was a direct quote.
321
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,610
Was there a pocket?
322
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,380
He was?
323
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,470
An engraver.
324
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,280
The tax guy was an engraver?
325
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,560
What? No, my guy.
326
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,760
Wait a minute, what guy?
327
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:54,079
We were at the federal building, and I
saw this sign for the personnel
328
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,899
department. Yeah? Old Mr. Costas. He's
retired from the postal service, all
329
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:01,640
right. But what he actually did was,
he's a master engraver.
330
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,590
Your kid? No.
331
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:08,269
He's even kind of famous there. He was
really good. He did this one stamp
332
00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:12,769
a bird, and it's so real that it seems
to turn its head and looks at you
333
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:13,669
wherever you go.
334
00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:16,320
They got it there in a case. It's really
kind of creepy.
335
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:17,750
Does that mean I won?
336
00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:20,809
Yeah, well, we've been looking for
someone who could forge a lottery ticket
337
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:24,360
well, the lottery guys themselves
couldn't spot the forgery, right?
338
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:26,920
Nice.
339
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,190
Real nice.
340
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,200
Sergeant Cagney, 14.
341
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,140
Wait a minute. We slow down a minute?
342
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,630
Who?
343
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,480
The ticket's locked up.
344
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,610
Who's got a gun?
345
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,270
Wait. Hello?
346
00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,110
Hello?
347
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,300
He hung up. Oh, my guy.
348
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,080
Okay. We got a hostage coming out.
349
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:08,100
He's clear. Get him. Go.
350
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,400
Come on. Come on.
351
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,900
That's the last customer, sir.
352
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,640
Roger. Last customer's out.
353
00:20:18,641 --> 00:20:23,379
He let the customers go, but he says the
bartender owes him. He's got a gun, and
354
00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,670
he's going to kill Phelps if he doesn't
pay up.
355
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,470
His name's Tommy.
356
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,140
He gave Phelps a $2 million lottery
ticket as a tip.
357
00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:33,010
I'll tell them you're coming in.
358
00:20:33,011 --> 00:20:35,469
I'm going to start two female detectives
in there.
359
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,520
Watch the windows.
360
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,020
good to you this way, is it, Tommy?
361
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,320
He said they'd have the ticket. They do.
362
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:29,980
Now, let's just keep calm, pal.
363
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:34,520
I'm Mary Beth Lacey. Mr. Van Dusen.
Everybody calls me Tommy.
364
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:36,000
It's my ticket.
365
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:40,579
I bought it, and I gave it to him in
lieu of a tip. It's only fair I should
366
00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:42,540
half. He owes me.
367
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,400
Tommy, what happens now?
368
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:51,600
Well, I get the ticket, see?
369
00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:56,849
Then I'll tear it in half and then we'll
have to cooperate.
370
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,280
Cooperate with that?
371
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:13,039
I thought that was a pretty convincing
corroboration for
372
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,090
my guy's story.
373
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:18,479
I already gave you the five bucks,
Christine. And how do we know it wasn't
374
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,379
-up job?
375
00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:23,170
Tommy just had his head split open. Two
million dollars buys a lot of sisters.
376
00:22:23,390 --> 00:22:24,950
Don't be a sore loser, Mary Beth.
377
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,250
As we both know, he was your guy.
378
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,080
Let's not figure.
379
00:22:31,710 --> 00:22:33,210
Who's going to look after him?
380
00:22:33,510 --> 00:22:36,400
Maybe you should have thought of that
before, Mr. Carcass.
381
00:22:36,550 --> 00:22:39,140
Well, I don't understand what all the
fuss is about.
382
00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:42,460
Well, you did try to defraud the lottery
out of $2 million.
383
00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:45,130
I just made the ticket. I didn't get any
money.
384
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,360
I'm afraid you're missing the point,
sir.
385
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,500
Where's the harm?
386
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:52,770
No, no, no, no, no, Maxie, be still.
It's all right.
387
00:22:54,009 --> 00:22:56,910
And the money was just sitting there. I
didn't even get any.
388
00:22:58,870 --> 00:23:02,000
Well, I think we're going to have to go
downtown, Mr. Carstairs.
389
00:23:02,910 --> 00:23:04,950
But who's going to take care of Maxie?
390
00:23:09,990 --> 00:23:11,550
Good afternoon, Mrs. Burnside.
391
00:23:12,210 --> 00:23:13,770
Well, that was certainly quick.
392
00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:17,849
Quick? Ma 'am, I just this minute put
down the phone from calling your office.
393
00:23:17,850 --> 00:23:18,990
Didn't they reach you?
394
00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:21,030
No, they didn't. Is there a problem?
395
00:23:27,050 --> 00:23:28,100
You see that man?
396
00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:33,180
Just when I think there's nothing else
that can go wrong, he walks in with
397
00:23:34,090 --> 00:23:35,590
Another winning ticket.
398
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,759
His name is Hank Stevens, and, Hobbs,
you wouldn't believe it. Even the
399
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,360
staff call him Hard Luck Hank.
400
00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:09,139
Wait a minute, what is so tough about
winning the lottery?
401
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:13,439
No, honey, here's a guy that leaves his
lawyer's office after filing for divorce
402
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,919
and buys himself a lottery ticket to
cheer himself up, and as he's walking
403
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:22,859
from the newsstand, gets hit by a
crosstown bus and winds up for three
404
00:24:22,860 --> 00:24:23,910
a coma.
405
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,060
So that's not funny. Okay, did you check
all this out?
406
00:24:27,380 --> 00:24:29,480
Yeah, happened just the way he said.
407
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,610
The vendor remembered him because of the
ambulance.
408
00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:33,840
No, he's a witness.
409
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,020
And the inventory of his property at the
hospital shows the lottery ticket.
410
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,080
Yes. Okay, so at least he is in the
clear. Am I right?
411
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:44,180
Well, yeah, but somebody else still
forged the ticket.
412
00:24:44,181 --> 00:24:45,999
You eliminated the bartender?
413
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,839
No one is eliminated, Harvey. It's a
matter of finding a forger. Yes, you
414
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,660
already found your forger. One. One
forger.
415
00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:56,970
So the thing with Tommy could have been
a put -up job, but I don't know.
416
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,960
Okay, so what now?
417
00:24:58,961 --> 00:25:03,719
Well, tomorrow we go and check out the
first two winners. Maybe one of them is
418
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,770
fishing.
419
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,810
But they've already been paid. Isn't it
a little late?
420
00:25:08,780 --> 00:25:13,240
Yes. I think it's the guy in the
hospital.
421
00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:15,080
His alibi is too perfect.
422
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,230
Honey, that's what a perfect alibi
means, that you didn't do it.
423
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,460
Yes, but nevertheless... Five dollars.
424
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:23,870
You're on.
425
00:25:23,871 --> 00:25:27,739
Let me ask you a question. What would
you do if you won two million dollars?
426
00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:29,180
First, I'd take care of taxes.
427
00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:34,309
Then $250 ,000 each into trust funds for
the boys. And a separate fund for the
428
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:36,310
baby at $300 ,000 because of inflation.
429
00:25:36,770 --> 00:25:41,210
And $100 ,000 into blue -chip
securities. $100 ,000 into bonds.
430
00:25:41,530 --> 00:25:42,770
State, not city.
431
00:25:43,090 --> 00:25:45,970
And another $100 ,000 into a real solid
mutual.
432
00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:47,320
Then we buy a house.
433
00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:48,850
Outright. No mortgage.
434
00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:53,149
And then the rest into a pension fund
for the two of us, except maybe $2 ,000,
435
00:25:53,150 --> 00:25:54,390
$3 ,000 mad money.
436
00:25:55,010 --> 00:25:56,060
You sure?
437
00:25:57,530 --> 00:25:59,700
Okay. Hey, I thought about it. So?
438
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,160
Come here. What?
439
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:02,440
Please, sit down.
440
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,210
Please.
441
00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:07,560
Let me put it a different way.
442
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,680
What would you do with $600?
443
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,650
Six... Oh, I don't know, Harvey. That's
an entirely different thing.
444
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,380
What? What are you smiling at?
445
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,120
There ain't no day to tell you.
446
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,310
Results of the audit.
447
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,920
I found out this afternoon. We are
getting back a $600 tax refund.
448
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,669
Refunds? Yes.
449
00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:30,720
That's amazing. Yes.
450
00:26:30,721 --> 00:26:34,949
You're sure it isn't some kind of a
trick? No, no trick. This is the first
451
00:26:34,950 --> 00:26:37,449
this year they are giving money back.
The guy, Bittenberger.
452
00:26:37,450 --> 00:26:40,589
Bender. He said he was going to cost
them his job. Oh, the poor man. No, no,
453
00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:44,020
he's happy for it. He wants to get into
a different line of work anyway.
454
00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:46,980
One free dollar.
455
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:55,689
And, of
456
00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:58,460
course, Harvey wants to spend all the
money right away.
457
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,360
Well, why not? It's found money.
458
00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:03,939
Well, it's easy for you to think like
that, Christine. You've got the trust
459
00:27:03,940 --> 00:27:05,360
and all. I can't be like that.
460
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,339
Be like what, Mary Beth? It's only $600.
You can spend more than that on a TV
461
00:27:09,340 --> 00:27:11,220
set. No, I can't.
462
00:27:11,221 --> 00:27:15,219
We need every penny, Christine. I've got
another kid on the way. That's a major
463
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:17,140
expense. That keeps on being expensive.
464
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,120
What does Harvey want to buy?
465
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:23,480
Oh, he wants to hire a babysitter and go
to the Poconos for the weekend.
466
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,950
You know, rent a cab and see the shows,
like we did nine months before Hoff Jr.
467
00:27:28,140 --> 00:27:29,460
was born. Well, that's nice.
468
00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:32,100
Actually, he's got a point.
469
00:27:32,101 --> 00:27:35,999
You know, I mean, when a new baby comes,
you can't go out for a while, like a
470
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,939
couple years.
471
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:37,979
So go.
472
00:27:37,980 --> 00:27:40,760
No, I can't. I can't.
473
00:27:40,761 --> 00:27:45,139
When I was growing up, we didn't have
any money. And I don't know, the thing
474
00:27:45,140 --> 00:27:47,440
about money is maybe too deep in me.
475
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,090
I don't know.
476
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,550
Harvey was so excited about maybe going
somewhere.
477
00:27:54,180 --> 00:27:56,540
And I'd love to see him like that. He'd
be so cute.
478
00:27:59,740 --> 00:28:03,170
And then I got to thinking that I
haven't seen him like that for a long
479
00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:08,480
Oh, there he is.
480
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,010
Nice house.
481
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,010
She was the first one to claim the
prize, right?
482
00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:23,070
Yeah.
483
00:28:23,140 --> 00:28:24,190
Yeah.
484
00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:26,790
Yes?
485
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,220
Mrs. Alberta Edwards?
486
00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:33,800
You're the detective, sir? Yes, I'm
Sergeant Cagney. This is Detective
487
00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:35,200
May we come in, please?
488
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:45,920
We've been waiting 45 minutes.
489
00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:50,060
This is Mr. Irwin Elias, my attorney.
490
00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:52,260
I asked him to be here.
491
00:28:52,830 --> 00:28:57,409
Since the lottery commission attached
Mrs. Edwards' property, we feel it may
492
00:28:57,410 --> 00:29:00,350
turn into a matter that will require
some litigation.
493
00:29:00,351 --> 00:29:05,469
Oh, believe me, ma 'am, this is the
first we heard about attaching property.
494
00:29:05,470 --> 00:29:06,850
It hardly matters, does it?
495
00:29:07,110 --> 00:29:11,009
The fact remains that everything my
client owns has been frozen by the
496
00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:13,290
until such time as the matter is
resolved.
497
00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:19,969
In plain English, every hour, every day
that this mess remains unsolved, you're
498
00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:21,020
hurting my family.
499
00:29:21,021 --> 00:29:24,519
Well, Mrs. Edwards, we're trying to
clear that up now. Don't you understand?
500
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,800
have no money.
501
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:30,599
And even if I could get my old job back,
it will take my yearly salary to meet
502
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:31,800
my new monthly expenses.
503
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:37,020
So I am suing your department, ladies,
and the lottery.
504
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:42,500
Nice talking with you.
505
00:29:51,661 --> 00:29:58,749
Don't you see, ma 'am, this business of
attaching everything belonging to the
506
00:29:58,750 --> 00:30:02,529
suspect isn't exactly making our
investigation any easier. Not my fault.
507
00:30:02,530 --> 00:30:06,049
board decided on that. Nobody even asked
me. I'm a woman, so I don't get asked
508
00:30:06,050 --> 00:30:06,909
my opinion.
509
00:30:06,910 --> 00:30:10,529
Well, we have two tickets already paid,
and then we have for Mr. Stevens, the
510
00:30:10,530 --> 00:30:12,690
bus victim, and the ex -con bartender.
511
00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:13,940
One of them is dirty.
512
00:30:13,941 --> 00:30:17,469
And, Les, there has been an error. Now,
could you have printed up four winning
513
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,109
tickets instead of three by mistake?
514
00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,669
No. The printing of the tickets is done
by the computer, and it's very closely
515
00:30:22,670 --> 00:30:25,200
guarded, almost as tightly as the
drawing itself.
516
00:30:25,639 --> 00:30:27,379
Well, then what about the drawing?
517
00:30:27,380 --> 00:30:29,299
Could someone have rigged the numbers in
advance?
518
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:30,720
Don't even think that!
519
00:30:31,420 --> 00:30:36,979
There are four sets of balls. They are
weighed and sealed under our eyes in
520
00:30:36,980 --> 00:30:40,419
those of an independent auditing firm
before and after, and then the drawing
521
00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:41,760
held on live television.
522
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,779
Actually, there was one case of a man
trying to palm the balls. He was an
523
00:30:46,780 --> 00:30:50,139
amateur magician, but that was before I
came here. That had nothing to do with
524
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:52,860
me. Well, no one is blaming you, Mrs.
Burnside.
525
00:30:52,861 --> 00:30:55,999
Ha! That's what you think. The Racing
and Wagering Commission is going to have
526
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,050
my head for this.
527
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,920
I hate this.
528
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,490
I should have taken that job with luxury
cruises. I'd have gotten free travel.
529
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:07,070
Well, ma 'am, I'm afraid we're back to
one of the four.
530
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,280
Mrs. Edwards, Mr.
531
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:12,900
Stevens, Mr. Phelps, and Mr., um, what
is the other guy's name? Mr. Sycamore.
532
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:14,920
Hey, call me Claude.
533
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:16,700
All right, Claude.
534
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,520
Listen, uh, can I get you ladies
something, maybe, huh?
535
00:31:20,860 --> 00:31:22,120
Uh, no, not for me, thanks.
536
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,950
You know, there's been a little mix -up
with the lottery.
537
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:29,340
Doesn't affect me much, though, does it?
538
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,180
You haven't gotten the court order yet?
539
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:33,740
No. What for?
540
00:31:34,380 --> 00:31:37,760
Well, it's very likely that you will be
getting such an order.
541
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:44,199
I'm afraid that the lottery is attaching
all of the money and the property of
542
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,580
the winning ticket holders.
543
00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:57,040
It's true.
544
00:31:57,780 --> 00:31:58,920
Who cares?
545
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,500
Now, this is very serious, Mr. Sycamore.
546
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,960
I haven't got it anymore.
547
00:32:04,260 --> 00:32:06,500
I haven't got it.
548
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,080
Hey, hey, Sally.
549
00:32:10,340 --> 00:32:14,060
Here, girl. You haven't met my Sally.
550
00:32:16,970 --> 00:32:18,350
Look at those big brown eyes.
551
00:32:18,570 --> 00:32:20,150
Is this a face? Is this a face?
552
00:32:20,151 --> 00:32:24,349
Very cute. If we could get back to the
money, Mr. Sycamore. You know, this dog
553
00:32:24,350 --> 00:32:25,369
is a champion.
554
00:32:25,370 --> 00:32:27,850
But don't tell her. I mean, you know how
stars get.
555
00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:31,590
About the money. You're kidding, aren't
you? No.
556
00:32:32,230 --> 00:32:33,930
I spent it.
557
00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:37,710
You spent $2 million in 11 months?
558
00:32:37,970 --> 00:32:42,009
It didn't take that long. You see, after
taxes, which are heavy because I took
559
00:32:42,010 --> 00:32:43,060
this all in one lump.
560
00:32:43,610 --> 00:32:47,510
Well, there were bills and business
loans and debts.
561
00:32:47,810 --> 00:32:52,010
Most of it went on wine, women, and
song, I guess you'd say.
562
00:32:52,250 --> 00:32:59,089
The rest was... The rest was
563
00:32:59,090 --> 00:33:00,140
wasted.
564
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,930
Oh, but we had some fun.
565
00:33:03,290 --> 00:33:05,390
We had some fun, didn't we?
566
00:33:06,410 --> 00:33:07,460
Sweet.
567
00:33:10,419 --> 00:33:14,480
I'm agonizing over $600. He sits there
smiling over how he blew $2 million.
568
00:33:14,481 --> 00:33:18,939
Well, it's not as bad as he said it
first. I mean, he built up that little
569
00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:20,940
company. What was that cutesy name?
570
00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:23,070
Wannabite Industry.
571
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:25,880
Could have been a strong thing. He just
had bad luck.
572
00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:27,880
Yeah, but he doesn't even care.
573
00:33:28,020 --> 00:33:29,070
That's what kills me.
574
00:33:29,071 --> 00:33:33,619
Like, I don't know, maybe it's not such
a bad attitude to have. What are you
575
00:33:33,620 --> 00:33:34,880
going to do, cry about it?
576
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,350
What's the matter with you, Christine?
It's $2 million.
577
00:33:38,351 --> 00:33:41,519
All right, Beth, remember that TV
series, The Millionaire?
578
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,310
It is an example of how that kind of
money can sometimes ruin people's lives.
579
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,300
Listen, at least this guy enjoyed it.
580
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,500
You like this man.
581
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,560
Oh, you always like this lady.
582
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,990
You notice that? That is not true, Mary
Beth.
583
00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,570
Just being here.
584
00:34:10,190 --> 00:34:11,240
How are you, sir?
585
00:34:12,730 --> 00:34:14,410
How's the investigation coming?
586
00:34:14,730 --> 00:34:16,840
It's progressing, sir. Are you all
right?
587
00:34:17,409 --> 00:34:19,209
It's like a nightmare that won't end.
588
00:34:19,469 --> 00:34:21,269
I don't know how much more I can stand.
589
00:34:21,670 --> 00:34:23,389
Well, why don't you sit down, Mr.
590
00:34:23,610 --> 00:34:24,660
Stevens? Thank you.
591
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:29,850
I wish I could be arrested right now and
locked away forever.
592
00:34:29,851 --> 00:34:35,448
Mr. Stevens, are you trying to confess,
sir? Would you like us to call your
593
00:34:35,449 --> 00:34:38,219
attorney? A lawyer. That's all I need is
another lawyer.
594
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,010
Court order?
595
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,680
You know about the court order?
596
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:47,350
Yes, sir, we do.
597
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:55,579
Well... On top of
598
00:34:55,580 --> 00:34:58,860
that, my ex -wife is trying to get her
hands on the prize money.
599
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:04,520
Her lawyer said that I owned the ticket
before the divorce became final. Oh.
600
00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:11,779
And I, uh... I can't cash a
601
00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:12,830
check.
602
00:35:13,100 --> 00:35:14,160
I got zero credit.
603
00:35:16,420 --> 00:35:17,960
I can't find my medicine.
604
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:21,290
I'm hungry.
605
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,600
I've been locked out of my apartment.
606
00:35:24,740 --> 00:35:31,119
So if I was arrested, at least I could
eat and have a place to sleep until the
607
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,460
investigation is over.
608
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,220
I was wondering...
609
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,340
Some kind of minor crime I could commit.
610
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,200
Just a small one.
611
00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:57,339
Okay, I just got off the phone with the
woman from the lottery.
612
00:35:57,340 --> 00:36:01,119
Mrs. Bernstein. Yeah, and she got word
back from that computer company upstate.
613
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:05,879
And? And she said that this time it is
as conclusive as you can get. The first
614
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,480
ticket, the woman called Mrs.
615
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,330
Alberta Edwards.
616
00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:14,280
presented her ticket before there was
that computer screw -up.
617
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:15,610
Dump. What?
618
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:21,420
Dump. It's computerese, Lieutenant,
meaning a massive discharge of memory.
619
00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,440
Mrs. Berntheit explained that to us.
620
00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:26,150
Dump.
621
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:31,559
Sorry. Anyway, the point is that her
ticket was the only one of the five
622
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,420
that was able to be computer verified.
623
00:36:33,421 --> 00:36:34,549
And it was.
624
00:36:34,550 --> 00:36:37,909
So she is in the clear. Oh, that's good.
I'm glad, sir. Yeah, I'm glad that
625
00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:41,049
you're glad, Lacey. We are delighted. We
got no case here. Oh, no, what I meant
626
00:36:41,050 --> 00:36:44,609
was, sir, that I'm glad Mrs. Edwards has
been eliminated because that narrows
627
00:36:44,610 --> 00:36:46,900
the list of our possible suspects, sir.
Right.
628
00:36:47,090 --> 00:36:48,140
So run it down.
629
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:52,369
Well, with Mrs. Edwards eliminated,
we're looking at the bartender, the
630
00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:55,829
jersey who already spent the money, and
hard luck, Hank. Who? Mr. Stevens.
631
00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:57,820
I hope it's not him. I loaned him 50
bucks.
632
00:36:57,821 --> 00:37:01,049
You like the suspect $50? No, well,
actually, that was my fault. Well, we'll
633
00:37:01,050 --> 00:37:04,929
the judgment call, Lieutenant. We both
agree that he's in it. Let's hope so. I
634
00:37:04,930 --> 00:37:06,569
got a gut feeling it's the flake, sir.
635
00:37:06,570 --> 00:37:10,050
Nope. Now I think it was the bartender.
The bartender? He was your guy.
636
00:37:10,370 --> 00:37:13,470
Unless it was Claude. Wait, is Claude
the flake? Yes, sir.
637
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:15,310
No, he's not a flake, Lieutenant.
638
00:37:15,311 --> 00:37:19,329
Different. Yeah, a different flake. And
anyways, the bartender had Tommy to back
639
00:37:19,330 --> 00:37:21,009
him up. Yeah, I think that was a set -up
job.
640
00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:24,269
That's what I said, Christine. Anyways,
Tommy is in jail. Yeah, but it's his
641
00:37:24,270 --> 00:37:27,229
first offense, Mary Beth. What the judge
is going to do is slap his wrist,
642
00:37:27,230 --> 00:37:30,649
charge him a few bucks. He gets out, he
splits the $2 million with Big Al, the
643
00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:34,509
con man. Wait, wait, who is Big Al? Mr.
Phelps. Well, so now you say it couldn't
644
00:37:34,510 --> 00:37:38,120
be Big Al. Well, not if it's a flake, it
couldn't. Hey, I got such a headache.
645
00:37:39,110 --> 00:37:43,309
Look, I don't care if it is the flake or
if it's the bartender or if it's your
646
00:37:43,310 --> 00:37:44,360
guy or if it's her guy.
647
00:37:44,361 --> 00:37:49,709
Explain. Go on home and come back to
this thing with a fresh attitude
648
00:37:49,710 --> 00:37:50,760
morning. Yes, sir.
649
00:37:51,490 --> 00:37:54,500
And at which time I would like to hear
some straight answers.
650
00:37:54,950 --> 00:37:56,210
Yes, sir. Aye, Lieutenant.
651
00:38:02,990 --> 00:38:05,030
He's a kicker. Yeah.
652
00:38:06,170 --> 00:38:09,090
Yeah, more than the other two. This one
likes to work out.
653
00:38:12,990 --> 00:38:14,040
Harvey? Hmm?
654
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:17,520
You really want another boy?
655
00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:22,160
I don't know. I haven't thought much
about it.
656
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,420
You keep saying him.
657
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,930
It's habit.
658
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,100
I love whatever we have.
659
00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:30,150
Yeah, I know.
660
00:38:32,580 --> 00:38:36,280
I just wonder sometimes what it would be
like to have a little girl.
661
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,090
Different?
662
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:43,540
I saw a little girl in the park the
other day.
663
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,690
Little doll.
664
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,680
And she had a dress about that big.
665
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,740
My father was putting her on the
carousel. Made me think about you.
666
00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:57,150
It did?
667
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,900
Yeah, the way he looked at her.
668
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,950
Like she was the most precious thing in
all the world.
669
00:39:05,660 --> 00:39:08,370
I thought about you looking at our
daughter like that.
670
00:39:09,860 --> 00:39:11,480
Daughter, huh? Might be nice.
671
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,850
Whole new ballgame.
672
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,760
Yeah. Good night, baby.
673
00:39:19,980 --> 00:39:21,180
Good night, sweetheart.
674
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,730
Good night, baby.
675
00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:40,340
You're sexy when you're pregnant. Yes.
676
00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:43,540
You mean it.
677
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,040
More cleavage, more stuff.
678
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,740
Yeah, more of everything.
679
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,440
More the merrier.
680
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,640
Harvey, stop that.
681
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,650
In a while.
682
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:10,120
You know what's wrong here?
683
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,310
We've been looking for two master for
you. What do you mean?
684
00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:17,679
Well, look, it was the first time that a
lottery ticket had been forged so well
685
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:18,919
it could be detected, right?
686
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,339
Right. Okay, so what are the odds that
on the same lottery, a second ticket
687
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:25,510
would be forged with the same
perfection?
688
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,390
Two master forges at the same time? That
bothers me.
689
00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:30,780
Yeah, but what are our choices?
690
00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:33,650
I don't know, but it doesn't seem
logical.
691
00:40:33,651 --> 00:40:35,699
Guess who finessed the afternoon off?
692
00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:38,830
Oh, please don't bore us with your hot
dates, okay, Mr. Beggin?
693
00:40:38,860 --> 00:40:41,000
No, I am going to the dog show.
694
00:40:41,860 --> 00:40:43,060
You're going to be in it?
695
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,160
Yeah, a Dolman fanny pincher.
696
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,540
Go ahead, you two laugh.
697
00:40:48,900 --> 00:40:50,580
But who's got the afternoon off?
698
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,020
Cocker Spaniels!
699
00:41:01,380 --> 00:41:02,960
Christine! That's it!
700
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:06,979
Mary Beth, that's the connection we've
been looking for. The old guy and Quad,
701
00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:08,540
they both have Cocker Spaniels.
702
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,300
Oh, that's good, Christine.
703
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,239
We can go write the grand jury with
that. I am telling you, Mary Beth, they
704
00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:16,100
have show dogs. You spelled it wrong.
705
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,179
Can't you find your depth yet? No, no,
no. It is not one of I -B -I -T -E
706
00:41:20,180 --> 00:41:23,840
industries. It's one of I -B -Y -T -E
industries. You know, like the
707
00:41:23,841 --> 00:41:27,259
Yeah, a friend of mine who bought stock
told him it was stupid, but wouldn't
708
00:41:27,260 --> 00:41:28,259
listen to me.
709
00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:29,310
Computers.
710
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:30,770
That's it.
711
00:41:30,980 --> 00:41:32,030
Claude is in... What?
712
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:36,899
Claude is into computers. What if he
tapped into the lottery's computer and
713
00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:37,950
dumped the memory?
714
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,320
Huh? Exactly. Didn't you see War Game?
715
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,010
Who are you?
716
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,140
Come on, let's go.
717
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:48,000
Mary Beth, come on, let's go. Hurry up.
Fine, okay. I'm coming.
718
00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:49,710
Where?
719
00:41:57,340 --> 00:42:00,680
This is the first call for Old English
Sheepdogs.
720
00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:05,800
Old English Sheepdogs, your grade is to
be judged in ring three.
721
00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:09,420
I had no idea dog shows were this big a
deal.
722
00:42:10,170 --> 00:42:13,669
Oh, yeah, this is a big deal annual
show. Which means it was held at the
723
00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:14,770
same time last year.
724
00:42:15,250 --> 00:42:16,870
Same time as the lottery drawing.
725
00:42:17,190 --> 00:42:18,240
Christine?
726
00:42:23,490 --> 00:42:24,540
Oh.
727
00:42:29,310 --> 00:42:30,360
Mr. Sycamore?
728
00:42:31,110 --> 00:42:32,210
Hello there, Mr.
729
00:42:32,470 --> 00:42:33,790
Sycamore. You remember us?
730
00:42:33,830 --> 00:42:36,750
Hi. Hi. What are you two doing here? Oh.
731
00:42:37,260 --> 00:42:39,120
Sally. Hiya, girl.
732
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,060
Hey, how you doing?
733
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,080
Very best. Sally has a new friend.
734
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:53,420
Hiya, Maxie. Oh, you know Maxie? Oh,
yes.
735
00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:54,910
We've met.
736
00:42:55,260 --> 00:42:56,310
Going down?
737
00:43:00,420 --> 00:43:02,920
You know what was throwing us?
738
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:07,340
We kept looking for... two master
forgers, each with one perfect forgery.
739
00:43:08,020 --> 00:43:11,879
Silly. There never were two master
forgers. There was one master forger,
740
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,999
made two tickets. Am I right, sir? You
and Carstairs met here last year. We
741
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,379
checked. We know you were both here. And
the two of you came up with the idea.
742
00:43:19,380 --> 00:43:21,519
He makes the perfect ticket with a
winning number.
743
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:25,259
You use your computer to dump the
lottery computer's memory. Then you
744
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,970
the winning ticket, and the computer
can't verify it.
745
00:43:29,060 --> 00:43:30,110
Fascinating theory.
746
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,250
Isn't it?
747
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,940
We just talked. with Mr. Carstairs at
Rikers.
748
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,300
Oh, we did?
749
00:43:37,540 --> 00:43:38,590
Yes, sir, we did.
750
00:43:38,940 --> 00:43:39,990
Uh, Sycamore?
751
00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:42,000
And he was very informative.
752
00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:44,970
He told us that he didn't get much out
of the split.
753
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,610
It seems that you use most of the funds
by yourself.
754
00:43:47,611 --> 00:43:51,159
Alimony and gambling debts, that
computer company of yours.
755
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,360
Wasn't much left for him.
756
00:43:52,361 --> 00:43:55,799
And he couldn't exactly come to the
police about it now, could he, sir? How
757
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:56,850
doing? Pretty good.
758
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,160
Yeah, he was a little cranky about it.
Well, then.
759
00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:04,280
But I never thought he'd forge another
ticket.
760
00:44:06,890 --> 00:44:07,940
Maxim,
761
00:44:08,490 --> 00:44:09,540
Maxim.
762
00:44:09,570 --> 00:44:10,730
Fingered by a pole.
763
00:44:11,210 --> 00:44:12,260
You know what?
764
00:44:13,470 --> 00:44:16,430
Here. Oh, oh, oh, don't run here.
765
00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:18,730
All right, come on.
766
00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:20,210
Has security filled yet?
767
00:44:20,490 --> 00:44:22,960
I'm the cops. How can I get in touch
with security?
768
00:44:24,250 --> 00:44:25,890
Watch it. Excuse me.
769
00:44:27,610 --> 00:44:29,310
Police. Coming through.
770
00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:30,720
I'm very sorry.
771
00:44:31,270 --> 00:44:34,130
Pardon me, sir. I got a badge here
somewhere.
772
00:44:38,730 --> 00:44:43,390
I'm very good. Excuse me, sir.
773
00:44:43,830 --> 00:44:44,930
Thank you. Sorry, dog.
774
00:44:46,730 --> 00:44:48,370
He does have great lines.
775
00:44:48,670 --> 00:44:49,720
Gee.
776
00:44:50,570 --> 00:44:52,650
Oh, believe me, Lisa, I do know that.
777
00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:56,150
Hang on, hang on.
778
00:44:57,890 --> 00:44:59,490
Oh, nice doggy.
779
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,650
Be right back.
780
00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:10,600
Police! Coming through!
781
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,570
Okay!
782
00:45:16,571 --> 00:45:21,379
Hasn't made it to an exit. None of my
men have spotted him. Well, keep
783
00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:22,430
sir.
784
00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:37,870
Hey, lady, you better do something about
these dogs. What do you want me to do?
785
00:45:37,871 --> 00:45:38,639
Oh, terrific.
786
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:39,690
Oh, come on.
787
00:46:15,910 --> 00:46:17,110
I took them.
788
00:46:17,430 --> 00:46:18,480
You did?
789
00:46:18,550 --> 00:46:19,600
What for?
790
00:46:29,510 --> 00:46:31,290
Three days, fought and paid for.
791
00:46:32,370 --> 00:46:33,420
You're kidding.
792
00:46:40,060 --> 00:46:43,670
I opened an account at the bank this
morning. It was going to be a surprise.
793
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:48,850
Baby Lacey.
794
00:46:50,220 --> 00:46:51,420
Harvey, you're the best.
795
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,120
It's one of those special deals.
796
00:46:53,420 --> 00:46:57,210
You can't get your money back without
substantial forfeiture and all that
797
00:46:57,211 --> 00:47:01,959
But, Harvey, the trip is not refundable
either. Yeah, the check's going to
798
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,010
bound.
799
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,040
You know what this is like?
800
00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:08,120
This is just like that story.
801
00:47:09,220 --> 00:47:11,680
Where she sells her hair and he sells
his watch.
802
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,260
Oh, no, baby. Hey, we'll borrow two
payday. It'll be okay.
803
00:47:15,261 --> 00:47:18,919
No, it's just that you bought me what I
wanted and I bought you what you wanted
804
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,750
and it's so romantic, Harvey. I always
want what you want.
805
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,750
Yeah? You really wanted to take me to
the mountains for a romantic weekend?
806
00:47:25,751 --> 00:47:28,719
Even when I'm pregnant, I feel like a
whale.
807
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:29,770
Yes.
808
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,050
Oh, Harvey.
809
00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:33,120
Oh, God, I love you, Mary Beth.
810
00:47:34,491 --> 00:47:36,589
Yeah?
811
00:47:36,590 --> 00:47:41,140
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