Original subtitles

You call these plain clothes?

Ain't that the way they say it goes? Ain't that the way?

You gotta make a bet when a playful show you can't play.

Even when you know you're gonna lose, it ain't tax exempt, it ain't even dues.

Ain't that the way?

Even when you know you're gonna lose, it ain't tax exempt, it ain't even dues.

I hate autopsies. Oh, I like them, huh? Come on, Inspector.

You're the arresting officer.

Do me a favor, LaGuardia. Cover me. I'll owe you one.

I'm going to cash in on that.

Meet me later at the coroner's office.

Lacey, you and Ken, you got lucky. They want you over at the police academy to

give an indoctrination talk to the women cadets.

When? There it is.

Did you find my earring?

Where?

It's a logical place.

Yeah, I had a good time. I did.

Hey, don't talk like that.

I know I did, but it wasn't over a precinct telephone.

Look, I got to go now.

Oh, the earring.

Keep it as a souvenir.

6 '4", 240 -pound ex -pro football player. So what does he do for a living

Endorse shave cream?

No, as a matter of fact, he owns his own sports franchise for him. I think that

they said last year he made over half a million dollars.

Oh, that's nice for a change.

Are you going to see him again? No, Mom.

Travels a lot. Doesn't live in this town.

Thank you.

Chris, did you ever consider a permanent affair, like, say, longer than two

weeks?

Yeah. Once.

No kidding?

Oh, John Travolta.

He was everything that I ever wanted in Saturday Night Fever. It's just that the

age difference was a problem.

It's much too old for me.

Someday you're going to want a regular, responsible guy like my Harvey, but

it'll be too late. I smell a pitch for Dave Travers coming on.

So I have. I happen to think he's a terrific guy. He happened to be over for

dinner last night. And call me crazy, but I think they'd like each other.

You're crazy and you're relentless.

Help! Help! Help! Somebody help me!

It's just I see the dark circles under your eyes, the little crow's feet. I

you're not happy.

With a guy like Dave, you'd never look like that. Exactly, which is why I keep

saying, watch my mouth. No!

You want to be a marriage counselor, go back to Queens. You want to be my

partner? Can it!

Well, somebody else will get him. Mark my words.

Kind of a creepy neighborhood, isn't it?

Check that over there on the right.

The gladiators are out in force this morning.

Don't look at me, buddy.

My night to cook dinner.

Whatever you do, don't stop.

Nice jacket.

Give me one of those.

14 PDU, car 312, any unit to cover, shots fired, vicinity of 17th and 2nd

Avenue, cover unit identified.

312, copy, last in route.

Car 312 taking the cover for 316, further information to follow as

Somebody got hit bad.

Hey, Pulaski, he's the one who did it.

Open

up,

please!

You know anything about him?

He's an old man.

Hey, hey.

Mr. Pulaski?

Mr. Pulaski, can you hear me?

If we have to break down your door, Mr.

Pulaski, how are you going to lock it after we're gone?

We're detectives, Mr.

Pulaski. We'd like to talk to you.

She never delivered any babies, though she definitely had relations with men.

She would have been a natural mother with a pelvis.

Postmortems give me gas.

You ate at breakfast this morning?

What is this? You're asking us questions now, Blackie?

I caught no rise.

A small piece of chocolate cake.

And why you eat it?

I'm hungry.

You eat and you breathe because these are basic functions for life.

Survival. When it threatens your survival, you must be ready.

I was ready.

It's not my choice. It's God's.

Mr. Pulaski, I'd really feel a lot better if you sat down.

Please.

Is that to make you feel good?

There's no time for you to make me feel good.

How many times I have to call you?

Are you saying you've been getting no response?

On the way over in the car, you said something about knives. Did they have

knives, Mr. Pulaski? They had knives.

Did you see the knives?

Mr. Pulaski, if you expected... I saw the knives.

In their hands and... In their eyes.

$200 for what?

Ballet lessons.

Thelma, I don't think a cop's son should be taking ballet lessons.

Yeah, I know about the president's son.

Mr. Pulaski. Tell me about the gun.

What? He's gone. Gun is gone. Most guns are registered.

I have to go to bathroom.

You went to the bathroom before you left your apartment, Mr. Pulaski.

When you are my age, it don't count how many times you go.

You just make small blessing because you are able to go.

Someone's going to have to take you.

You are not going to take me.

LaGuardia, would you please escort Mr. Pulaski to the men's room?

Okay.

This way, Mr. Pulaski.

What's Mrs. Pulaski going to do while he's being held?

She can hardly walk by herself.

You already arranged for her to have a vocational nurse. What do you want to

adopt her?

You think he's guilty?

He sure as hell is not being cooperative.

Based on what we've got, he's guilty.

If you're so convinced, how come I was the one that had to put the handcuffs on

him? Mayor Beth, you're a cop. It does not stand to reason that everyone over

the age of 70 and under the age of 15 is innocent.

Right.

The next time we arrest an eight -year -old for grand larceny, you put the

on him.

Mrs. Pulaski remember any better because you brought her a jar of Harvey's

chicken soup? You cop or a caterer? She remembered everything she could. What

did she remember?

She remembered yelling. She remembered hearing two shots. And stuff about her

husband's lousy temper is not good testimony in his favor. But she didn't

that. She could have hid that.

Bottom line is M .L. She didn't see the knives like Pulaski claimed.

Was there anything she said that you believed? What difference does it make?

judge is the one that's got to be convinced, not me.

A hundred people living in this building, not one witness comes forward.

Police. I'll have to see some identification.

You could have bought those in some novelty shop.

A kid could walk into such a place and come out a G -man.

You got something else?

Lady. Like what, ma 'am?

Maybe an American Express card. Like...

The dead Sergeant Pulaski was always complaining about being harassed by the

Toros. How often? Three times a day.

So what else was new in the precinct?

We talked to some of the merchants in the neighborhood.

A Mr.

Bertrand, who runs the fruit and vegetable stand, told us that he once

Pulaski running out of the building half naked.

and threatened to kill some kids who were parked below his window.

He was trying to take a nap, and the rock music from the car radio was

him crazy.

A. Mrs. Lupino, who lives in the same building, used to see Pulaski lying in

wait for some kid he was convinced was trying to steal a Social Security check.

That never happened. He was too smart for them.

You think he's paranoid about the knives, too? I don't think he's

Lieutenant. Probably isn't. He's just your sane neighborhood nutcase.

What's your next move?

Talk to the Rivera family?

Yeah, okay.

But don't waste too much time with this. You've made your arrest. Now it's up to

the DA.

Yeah, Samuels.

Hey, we'll try a little hard.

Yeah, goodbye.

That new chick I've been dating, Amy, she says she can't make it to Petrie's

party. Is this your bring your own booze or what? What party?

Uh, nothing, nothing. Still on the boards.

Hey, I hear you two finally made it big time.

Exactly, don't double talk me. What's this about a party?

LaGuardia, give it to me straight, huh?

What are you doing here, Chris?

Why is this party going on? We're not being invited.

It's no big deal. It's just a shower for Petrie's wife.

Only you're going and we're not.

It was a mistake, right, Petrie?

Our invitation to the shower?

No, it wasn't a mistake.

I don't know how to tell you this. You don't have to explain anything, Petrie.

Look, ever since you and Cagney came on as detectives here, it's been kind of

tough on the wives.

You know, um...

wondering what you look like, what happens when one of us is put on the

case with one of you. The inevitable. We check into a hotel and exchange clues.

Stop it, Chris. We understand, Petrie.

Happy to oblige.

Call us when your marriage is shaky.

You didn't have to say that. He had it coming to him. When are they going to

grow up and stop with this sexist crud?

Where do you think we are?

Pupil of Baudelaire.

I don't know.

myself as more the kind of Lombard type.

Can we see him now? Except for his family, I can't allow any visitors.

Why don't you come back in 24 hours?

What's his condition? He's serious but stable. Excuse me.

Miss Rivera.

Yes? We're detectives. I'm Cagney. This is my partner, Lacey.

No le digas nada, ¿ok? Están atrás de Mario.

Won't you two just leave us alone, huh?

My brother is sick in intensive care. He can speak to no one.

Ms. Rivera, we know your brother's too sick to talk. We just thought maybe you

could talk. Violence against gang members usually goes unnoticed. Why this

sudden interest?

Mr. Berry, you know something about what happened? She knows nothing. She was at

school. I'm a political science major at NYU.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Don't be surprised. Some of us qualify.

Esteban, you were there. Your soul went down. Will you tell us about it? I

already told the police everything I know. I don't owe you nothing. Miss

says there were knives. Were there knives, Esteban? My brother was shot

cold blood, lady.

In cold blood.

A year ago, my brother Lorenzo was killed in a gang fight between the Toros

the Gladiators.

Now, we found out because they dropped his body on the steps outside.

Today, my brother Mario is gunned down. He may die.

Mario is a good boy.

He is innocent.

Esteban is good.

Now, if you have come here looking for a witness for Pulaski's defense, you are

wasting your time.

We're looking for the facts, Anna, the truth.

You can understand that. Why?

What for?

I know my brother is innocent, that Mr.

Pulaski is guilty. But the system will free him, so what are you worried for?

I don't understand that.

Facts. The facts are, my brother is Puerto Rican and he is guilty until

innocent. And Mr.

Pulaski is Anglo.

The system will free him. Make no mistake about it.

Hey, what's the matter, babe?

I got a problem.

What a relief. For a minute there, I thought I did.

I'm serious, Hoff.

Hey, honey, I'm sorry. Why?

Why?

I arrested a man today.

I'm prejudiced.

What did he do?

He shot an unarmed Puerto Rican gang member.

Kid's in intensive care.

Yeah?

And I... I think the man's innocent.

Why? Because he's 80 and he's white.

And he doesn't throw rocks in my car. He doesn't call me a pig and he doesn't

hate me because I'm a cop.

So what are you trying to tell me?

You're a bigot?

It's a possibility, isn't it? No. Why not? Because I know you.

Everybody we talk to confirms the fact that Pulaski shot the kid because he

couldn't stand a noisy imposition on his life.

And I end up buying the old man's story.

Honey, that doesn't make you prejudiced.

Are you listening to what I'm telling you here?

Chris doesn't think he's innocent.

Chris Tagney doesn't have your clear and objective mind.

Do you think I have a clear and objective mind?

Oh, now, why is that so hard to believe, huh? Because it's coming from me?

What will it take to convince you? A lie detector?

I love it.

I love it.

Talk so tough.

Coffee? What?

Coffee. You ever take an extra vitamin filter?

Can we have egg with muffins?

You're having scrambled eggs.

Don't break mine.

I'm late.

Call your father.

Dad! Yeah?

I've lived in this house all my life, but nobody knows I eat scrambled eggs.

Nobody cares.

You want to see Harvey? Yes, do you mind?

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Locked myself out.

Not again.

Be right with you.

did she move in? Uh, Lenny? Why, she's, uh, always lived here. She's, uh,

usually at home when you're at work.

See you tonight, huh? Bye, guys. Bye, Dad. Bye, Dad. Bye, Dad.

How do you plan to let her in?

Well, it's the superdest building I got amassed a key.

As opposed to a mistress key.

That's cute.

Vitamins, huh?

Come on, Mary Beth, don't be ridiculous.

Harvey cheating?

incapable of fooling around?

No, I'm not insulting his manhood. It's just, uh, you're very touchy today.

I'm sorry.

You would have to be blind not to see that you are the only woman in his life.

Uh -huh. Uh -huh. So how come this fly with me has perfect plumbing and I think

it's stopped up?

Well... Ah, you should see her legs.

They go all the way up to her dimples. Man up, Lord!

Jordan, open.

Everybody decent?

And what if we weren't?

The arraignment was pushed up. To when? To nine this morning. We missed it.

No!

So what's the formal charge?

The deadly weapon.

Her face!

Where are you guys headed?

Where do you want?

Palapo. At 9 .30 in the morning?

Okay, tell them to throw an egg on it.

You going to see Pulaski?

and legal aid.

Nice old guy, that Pulaski. I always liked him.

How come everybody knows him?

I used to answer his calls when I was walking a beat, as they say.

Chronic complainer.

So you're the guy who always showed up two hours after the fact.

Holds a grudge, too.

You call that trial?

They don't give me chance to talk.

Now, it was just a preliminary hearing, Mr. Pulaski, just to determine the

facts.

Facts?

You think they are going to ruin their case with facts?

Did you hear Boy?

How he lie?

Who, Mr. Pulaski?

Esteban.

He was supposed to be my friend.

Mario's brother was your friend?

Yes.

He say to me many times he want to get out from gang.

He say he feel better always around pigeons.

My pigeons.

Oh, he very good with pigeons.

He use it to come up to my coop on roof to talk to them.

I remember.

But he was not my friend.

He was scum like others.

Scum.

Your life is in danger, man.

They won't trust you.

Because remember, when you wanted out of the gang, when Lorenzo died,

the Toros are afraid, man.

They're afraid you'll turn on them.

You've got to prove yourself.

I can't do it for you.

My brother is very tired.

We're running out of time, Miss Rivera.

We could ask just a few questions.

Mario. I will tell you nothing.

If we can't help you, maybe we can help Esteban.

Stay away from my brother.

Did he have a knife?

Did you have a knife? Did you have any weapon?

You listen to them, Mario.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe they can get Esteban out of the gang before he dies like Lorenzo. As

as I live, Esteban will survive.

And if you don't?

If Esteban winds up in a slab, it will be your fault.

It will be you who killed him.

If the Toros believe that he can be influenced by the lives of a woman, then

blood will be on your hands.

Influenced to do what?

four units of blood, then put him in Trendelenburg.

You gonna make it?

I don't know.

Right now his chances look pretty dim.

You're in my way, lady. You're in our way, punk.

Esteban, you're a Toro, right? As a Toro, you live by some code of honor I

understand. But I can't believe in a code that can let an innocent man die in

prison. You call a murderer an innocent man?

Can't you see we're wasting our breath?

He wants to be buried in a Toro jacket. He wants to die like this. It's the

Rivera family tradition, right, man? First Lorenzo, then Mario.

How much time do you think you've got before you check out for your own

Why don't you lose your interest in pigeons, Esteban?

Listen, if you're still counting on all that bunk about the system guaranteeing

a free ride for Pulaski, forget it.

Listen to me. Use your brains.

You want to be part of a gang?

You've been part of a human gang since the day you were born.

Act like a member.

We know Pulaski isn't lying.

We know there were knives.

And I'm telling you there were no knives.

We can help you. I don't need your help. Who else have you got?

Your brother Toro's?

Look, why don't you leave us alone, huh?

Mario, my sister, and me, okay?

How do you reach a kid like that?

Reaching?

He has been weaned on mother's milk in a thousand -year -old tradition of macho

garbage.

Save your heart, ML.

Oh, I gotta go hobby.

Something about meatloaf or something. Something to go with the meatloaf.

Parsley.

This is Lacey, 360. Could you give me my home number, please?

555 -1519.

I can't remember what it was. Ketchup?

No, it's not a... Fizzy.

Mm -hmm.

He's probably giving the stewardess his meatloaf recipe.

Devon, I don't think you like our jacket.

I'm a Toro, bro.

Now, that ain't Toro, too. Yeah, that's not the way you talked a year ago.

You want it out, then.

Now you're different.

Yeah, man. I tell you, I swear it's different, Guillermo, all right? It's

different, man.

You got my message. Yep.

Got held up. Sorry.

Be home ASAPPS. Hope you like anchovy.

Yuck. No, there's no anchovy. It's okay. Mom's kidding.

I tried to call you, but somebody was on the phone for an hour and a half. It

was off the hook. Hey, I was impressed with your ingenuity.

Could have had some guy in a blue and white knocked on the door, huh? Not too

easy.

Why was the phone off the hook?

Dad got tired of all the drifts in the building.

Hey, okay, cool it, huh? Hey, I was getting all these complaints from the

tenants.

Wings? Leni gave them to me. Neat, huh?

Did you get yours yet, Harvey?

Hello. Hi.

Hi, Chris.

Starting anything hot and heavy yet with Harvey?

Does knocking off a pizza together fit?

Listen, I want you to wipe the tomato paste off your teeth and get yourself

together because we're going to go to Petrie's wife's shower.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. He doesn't want us there, remember?

He will.

Tonight is the perfect night to settle this whole thing. We're going to show

wives that we're just a couple of hard -working cops with no designs on their

husbands. We can't avoid this thing forever.

Why not?

Mary Beth, don't you want to make those poor ladies feel better? Don't you

realize that until they get a look at us, their fantasies are going to make

miserable. I just got home.

Okay, plain is the name of the game. I'm wearing my tweed jacket, my pearls, my

tan skirt. I think that you should wear your blue suit and that yuck green

blouse. You look awful in that.

Thank you very much.

I already picked up the presents.

So you don't have to worry about that. I'm going to be there in 15 minutes.

Okay?

What?

I'll get it, honey.

Okay.

Petrie, Petrie, Petrie. Hey, how you doing?

Look, Petrie, if this is really below the belt, we could just disappear.

No, no, no, no, no. It's okay. Come on in.

It's a dumb move not inviting you in the first place.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

In that case, you get to keep these.

What?

Why? It would just... It'd look better if there was guys.

You're right. I should have rented a fiance.

Honey! Honey!

These are the guys I was telling you about. This is Christine Cagney.

How do you do? It's very nice to meet you, ma 'am. And I'm sorry, Lacey. Mary

Beth. Mary Beth.

This is Mary Beth Lacey. How do you do? How do you do? This is my wife, Claudia.

Bonita Velasquez. Hello.

Did I hear Christine and Mary Beth?

We do have first names.

No, I'm single, but looking.

Kind of improves your chances, huh, with so many men around.

Here's a drink.

Here you go, baby.

Oh! There you go, I'm sorry.

It's all right, I look lousy in it anyway.

There's a bathroom. It's up the stairs and down the hall on the left next to

bedroom.

Closely with Rod?

Rod. Oh, Petrie.

Petrie's the best. Whenever I'm in over my head, I always ask him. I can learn a

lot from him.

Yeah.

That's why we call him the professor at home.

Isn't that right, professor?

Listen, I hear they're holding Pulaski for assault.

Yeah, I think he's getting a bum rap.

Unless you got witnesses.

Can you look?

Esteban Rivera wants out of the Toros.

What do you think his chances are?

Slim to none.

You used to be involved in all that. You got out.

If Sister Anna's going to college, she's all right. So what is with this kid and

his thousand -year -old revenge game? Does that make him a man?

He's a punk kid who doesn't know who he is.

His man is going to be judged by the Toros.

Don't count on him to think on his friends.

He's there with us.

And he'll do it in style.

I'll take them out to gladiator territory, make a ruckus, and I'll let

it for him.

Bon, listen, give me another scotch on the rocks, will you, please? You've had

enough. We're going home.

Home? It's not even 10 o 'clock yet. I'm nauseous and pregnant, remember?

Women.

Go dance with your wife.

Yeah.

Get out of here.

Oh, do you have to go?

Yeah, sorry.

Thank you for having us, Mrs. Petrie. It was really a lovely shower.

On it.

Bye, Chief.

Bye, Chief.

Hey, what are you two doing here?

Us? We're the life of the party.

It wasn't my fault you left your coat at the party. I suppose it was mine.

We need a drink.

Don't you think you've had enough?

What do you want?

I'll surprise you.

Don't bother. I'll just bring this out in a glass.

Two vodkas on the rocks, run a tap.

Oh,

don't tell me this place is straight.

I haven't been so polite to anybody since the nun, since she burst into

It has to do with being pregnant and seeing yourself as a zeppelin instead of

hot number.

But it's so obvious he's crazy about her.

Yeah.

But it doesn't take a lot of paranoia to imagine your husband's looking around

when you're starting to get a little tired and your self -image isn't that

great. And there's a face hanging around him that's prettier and newer than

yours. You're thinking about Harv and coffee tea or me?

I was not.

But I am now.

I'll see you tomorrow, Chris.

What are you doing to me?

How many times do you want me to repeat this?

She doesn't turn me on.

Well, how come you're always in that apartment fixing that dripping faucet?

Because that's my job.

Even when the faucet stops dripping? Are you enjoying this? Why don't you just

admit it, Harvey? Admit!

She turns you on.

You're not dead, Harvey. You're only married.

Don't you think there's a few guys that give me a little rush?

Like who?

Tom Selleck.

Tom Selleck.

Don't worry.

Harvey, he's in Hawaii.

It's about 6 .01.

Well, if you're not up for work by now, you're going to be late.

So we're going to help you get started here with some hot new music to get that

blood pumping through those veins. So wake up, Big Apple.

Sometimes that husband of mine is cuter than Kermit the Frog.

Please, you're making me sicker than I already am.

You hate it when I'm happy, don't you? Do you have to smoke?

Yeah, I don't want to sound like a broken record.

But you two could feel this good. Say the word and Harv will give Dad Travis

your number. And pretty soon, you'll have a smile on your face, just like

No smile, no numbers, no fix -up, okay?

Got it? I got it.

I talked to Claudia this morning. Claudia?

Mrs. Petrie.

Remember her? Pregnant? Your hostess from last night? Oh, yeah. The deaf one.

You're such a prize in the morning.

Anyway, she was real nice. She admitted she was being very paranoid. Petrie's

never given her any reason to be jealous. And she apologized for being

stupid last night.

And you want me to get married?

That's it, okay?

What's on the program?

I mean, I've not got more closed doors.

I'm going to try to find some poor witness who's been spending sleepless

over this whole thing.

I still think estimates are weak, Wink. As a matter of fact, it's our only hope.

But how do you get him to break that code of his?

It's simple.

You don't.

Watch this, George. It's simple, Kay.

Good morning.

That was some hell of a party you had last night. Made the top ten.

Wink, just below was Becky's breasts.

Have a nice day.

Good morning, Christine.

And how are we this morning?

The bike hub is by the water cooler.

Coffee or bike hub? Both.

What do you think, LaGuardia?

About what?

About last night.

We blackballed out of the old boys' pub.

Last night's episode leaked into our professional lives. He wants to know if

we're ever going to be invited to another party.

Actually, there have been several sociological studies on the merits of

separation as it applies to one's personal and professional life. Maria

just died.

It's in June, he said.

Oh, no, no.

No, it was in the spring.

Because he remembered the cherry blossom had bloomed.

Hang on, hang on. Hang on.

I just want a description of the... Will you tell him I just want a description

of the man who broke into his store?

You have to let him tell it in his own way.

Sweetheart, by the time he's finished telling me, the thief will be in Canada.

Yes, I hear you.

We're on it right now. Look, you've got to get a hold of yourself.

She's hysterical.

We're on our way.

Anna, the tourists just broke into the house and dragged Esteban out.

It never ends.

According to Valeska's, they'll take him to gladiator territory. That way it'll

look like the gladiator's wiped him out. That can't be too hard to find. The

gladiators only control a few square blocks. Let's go.

Thank you.

Hey, Carl.

Hey, Charles.

I would have died of Toro, man.

I would have never told about the knives, never.

But you turned me out.

You tried to kill me, man.

Now, I don't owe you nothing. You understand that, man? I don't owe you

Mrs.

Pulaski is going to be a very happy lady.

Mary Beth?

If you take her another gallon of Harvey's chicken soup, I'll never, ever

to you again.

Ever.

Well, here's the earlier part of Friday evening on ITV3. A gruesome discovery to

send a chill down your spine in Quantum Leap next.

Juice House follows at ten to six, with Lovejoy sniffing out Roman treasures on

the Isle of Man. That's later, ten to seven.