Original subtitles

Love is like a butterfly, soft and gentle as a fly. The

multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings.

Love makes your heart feel strange inside. It flutters like soft wings in

flight. Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing.

Goodbye.

You look quite good today.

I must put this on all the mirrors.

Another day beginning.

Ben is at the surgery.

Adam and Russell are at the swimming pool.

And I...

I am just here, polishing in my highly polished house.

I'm waiting for a miracle.

I don't mind what kind of miracle.

But it would be nice to see the ditty of the leap into the sink.

Or to open the door and find the hall decorating itself.

Or better still, To discover there's a mistake on my birth certificate and I'm

not really as old as I am.

Oh, God.

Oven cleaner.

Hello? Ria?

Yes? It's me.

Hello, me.

I need to see you urgently.

What do you mean?

I mean that it's urgent that I should see you. What the hell else would I

Are you hurt or depressed or stranded or in trouble? Yes, I am all of those

things. But, Leonard, I... I know, I know. You have a husband and sons and

all have stomachs and if you're not there by lunchtime, they could become

extinct.

But it is important.

Where? At what time?

I am not here.

There is something for you all on the table.

See you at dinner. Love, Ria.

P .S.

The fridge is a bit iced up.

But if you use the blow dryer on it, you'll eventually strike ice cream.

Oh, my God.

Boy, what about that one in the black bikini, eh?

You could take her to the party tonight.

Nah, I need someone with a bit of fat.

All those bones.

If we ever got it together, it'd be a bit noisy.

What about the other one? The one in blue?

The one that kept trying to rescue you?

Sick ankles, thin thighs.

Looked like she got her legs on upside down.

Oh, come on, sunshine. Don't be so fussy.

I mean, it's not as if you're going to marry her or anything. It's just for one

night. I mean, all this grief just for one night.

Hi, then.

Oh, yeah, hi.

Look, if I'm going to spend the night with someone, she's got to be right, OK?

It's ten hours of my life, you know? Ten whole hours. That's a lot of time.

Excuse me. OK, OK.

Old man.

Old man won't be much of a joke too long from now. Ask Dad. Bet it took him by

surprise.

Not that you're old, Dad.

You're just an example, that's all, of what it's like to be young one minute

and... At your peak, the next.

Right. You don't have to euphemise I am old.

I like being old.

Because when you're old, you can look at the young and be thankful it's all

over.

All over?

I mean being young is all over.

The physical absurdities that you're so obsessed with remain, but they are

combined with wisdom.

Boy, had me worried for a minute there.

Have a look at you now.

Your lungs are filled with hot air, your head with nothing, your stomach with

rubbish. What do you expect with mum's cooking?

There's only one part of your anatomy that interests you.

That won't earn you a living, I can tell you.

Oh, I suppose I shouldn't begrudge you these idle days.

Soon, I hope very soon, you'll meet someone special.

She'll cast her rope.

From then on, you'll go through life as smoothly and calmly as a lassoed

kangaroo.

I know, I've done it all, you see.

I've loved them and left them. Oh, yes.

I've had secret meetings in shop doorways, Paris hotels, one -room flat

Paddington. I trooped from bed to bed, laughing up my pyjama sleeve as I went.

Pyjamas.

Someone always comes along with her rope.

Wine?

Leonard.

What is it?

You remember this table?

Yeah.

We first met here.

I know that.

You sat there, flicking your ash into my trifle.

I must have been dreaming, you said.

And I've been dreaming ever since.

Leonard, you said it was urgent. I thought you were dying.

Oh, I'm always dying.

Good afternoon, sir and madam. The menu.

No, thank you. We're not actually eating. We're just reminiscing.

Forgive me, sir.

Come along.

Nerds, will you leave it plain?

Why have you brought me here?

We talked.

You said, I suppose dying is like leaving a house you like.

Did I do this? Did I do that?

And I said, so you must do everything before you go.

And this is where we first quarreled.

You threw your groceries all over me and then you publicly executed your

shopping bag.

Okay, Dad. See you. See you. One moment, please.

Ask where you're going.

To get us together for the party tonight.

Adam's decided to go for the one in the black bikini.

Yeah. I thought I'd do the whole bit before someone comes round with that

you're talking about.

I see. And what about your mother?

Well, she threw a rope and she got you, didn't she?

It was all sort of downhill from there.

I mean the lunch table. The mess left by you for her.

Have you ever thought what it's like being your mother?

Being faced every day by mundanities such as this, she has a brain, you know.

May not function very well in the kitchen, that's because she doesn't like

kitchen.

So wouldn't it be nice if we helped her towards spending less time in the

kitchen? Yeah, sure, okay.

We'll clear the dishes, you can wash up.

Wait, I have considered the situation.

I can clear the table, you two can wash up.

Fine.

Either of you remotely in danger of getting a job yet, or am I suffering

hopeless bout of optimism?

We keep trying.

It's not easy, Dad.

I had two interviews last week.

Me and 20 other guys.

I even applied for the job of a lollipop man.

Boy, what a comedown.

Yes. Well, I imagine the authorities don't want our school children escorted

across the road by a UFO, do they?

Oh, I wasn't wearing this T -shirt then.

I was wearing my I am a sex maniac one.

Sorry, sorry, keep forgetting the forbidden subject in this house is sex.

Don't know how we ever got to know the fact of life.

Neither do I.

I'd intended to talk to you when you were nine.

It was obvious that you knew more than I did by the time you were five.

That's the trouble with today's generation.

Nobody's young anymore.

Come into this world like little computers, pre -packed with knowledge,

-armed with experience.

It's like rearing a Roman candle.

A few quick bursts of enthusiastic light and then by the time you're 20,

nothing.

It's not that easy for us, having backward parents.

Is that a joke?

Is it?

Right.

I may be a backward parent, but at least I know which is the more tedious.

Clearing the dishes or washing and drying them.

doing funny hours today. She said something about washing up.

Okay. See you, Dad.

Ciao.

Nice boys.

Messy bloody hours.

One hour, yes, sir.

I loved a lady, alas, alack, she brought joy to my senses.

But the burden upon my back is that she's somebody else's.

Hello, I'd like to reserve a table, please, for two.

Yes.

Oh, eight o 'clock?

Yeah, fine.

What?

Oh, yes, sir. A quiet place would be very nice.

Very nice.

Parkinson's. Mr and Mrs Parkinson's.

Thank you.

Come on, eat up.

Poor old Thomas spent the entire morning setting this up for me.

Leonard, what is it? What is all this about?

It's about you and I having a meal together.

And about me making decisions.

Decisions?

Yeah.

I never could manage prawns.

No matter how clever I am, I can never undress them.

As a matter of fact, there's nothing on that plate that I can manage.

Anyway, I don't know why people have to eat together. Eating is undignified.

There is nothing romantic or sad or memorable that can be successfully said

a mouthful of salad.

And with a man, eating always seems to come before... Bed?

Oh, I don't know. I suddenly don't know anything.

I mean, I followed you here on that silly, childish tour to hear your flat.

I've always said to my sons, if anybody invites anybody to somebody's flat, then

nobody's up to any good.

Well, something like that.

I wish you wouldn't just sit there staring at me. It unnerves me

You've got mayonnaise on your chin.

The reason for this meal... And another thing.

How dare you bring me here with Thomas?

How dare you?

Was it some sort of sordid joke?

A man -to -man thing, was it?

Please help yourself.

I've eaten most of it.

Tomatoes make a wonderful mess.

Was it?

All right, then. Let's get on with it. Well, come on. We've done the this is

where we walked bit and this is where we talked bit. We might as well do the

this is where we ruined it bit.

I haven't got time, actually.

Oh, I see. Thomas's hour is nearly up, is it?

Well, we could skip all the preliminaries and get right down to it.

I'll just open the windows and give him the half -time whistle.

My wife will be arriving shortly.

She's coming back.

I'm meeting the train.

I just wanted a meal with you here, that's all.

Seemed a nice thing to do.

And so it is.

Oh, we shall.

A meal together here.

To celebrate.

Why not?

Very nice.

Prawns are... Prawns are very nice.

I suppose I could acquire a taste for anemones.

game, wasn't it?

You and I?

Yes.

Sort of very long, brief encounter?

Yes.

You don't even know each other?

No.

As for going to bed...

Always been my pleasure.

Make it work this time.

king of the road what do you want me to do go out there and die hello remember

me oh it's you

Mum, there's no orange juice.

Try coffee.

Would you believe we're down on coffee?

You'll have to drink tea then, won't you?

I hate to mention this, but there's no milk.

Oh, dear.

You'll just have to take advice from your T -shirt.

No, you're wasting your time, sunshine.

When she got there, the cupboard was bare, Simon.

Oh, come on. It's nearly dinner time.

Hey, Mum, it's six o 'clock. I don't see anything going on in the kitchen.

I'm kind of skinny, you know. One missed meal and I could have difficulty being

noticed.

I just checked out the bread bin. Nothing.

I was in the high street today.

I was watching people.

Great.

Yeah.

Whatever lights your candle.

I was watching housewives, mainly.

Women with shopping bags, women with boxes, women with grim faces and oven

timers ringing in their heads.

I saw me.

Oh, come on, you're not like that. I am like that. I'm just like that.

If I'm not buying food, I'm cooking food. If I'm not cooking food, I'm

up after food.

I go crawling round that supermarket, pushing that ridiculous basket.

I queue up at that till. I put my groceries onto that rubber thing.

Some young cashier dares and yawns while I try to find the right end of a

plastic bag.

And then she shoots my change at me down a metal tube.

Guess you're just having a bad day.

I'm not having a bad day, Adam. On the contrary, I'm having a good day. That's

why you're not getting any dinner.

Do you, um, do you want to talk about it?

What? About what?

About whatever burnt you up today.

Well, something must have happened.

Dad's due home for supper any minute.

It's going to come as a bit of a shock when he sits down to a bottle of nail

varnish and an emery board.

I told you I was standing in the high street today, thinking.

I stood about a lot once, thinking.

When Annie left.

Yeah, he graduated from bed to the settee to his feet.

Took his first meal a month later.

Very hilarious. Look, you might be gloriously handsome, sunshine, but I'm

original sensitive and emotional guy.

There's no need to laugh, Russell.

You've got to experience standing about in the high street.

It's not a place where one is forced to ponder, to make decisions.

Adam, I imagine, decided not to kill himself.

And I decided not to cook for dinner.

Great. So you're me and the chip pan again?

Yep. Check out the food situation at the party tonight. Yeah, right.

Hello.

Oh, uh, hi, Dan.

Hi. There's no dinner.

Oh, really?

Well, life consists of more important things, doesn't it?

Yeah, except that if you don't eat, you don't live.

No, life consists of doing a rewarding job, putting one's weight, considering

another's need.

Yeah, that covers you, okay?

We don't kind of relate to those sort of things.

And sometimes life consists of wanting to take one's wife out for a meal, but

order to do so, having to pay one's son to go out and have a meal. Oh, no, no,

it's all right.

We've built up this relationship with the chip, then.

Rather take your meal than have to have the kitchen redecorated.

Well, deep joy.

God, he's like a praying mantis, isn't he?

Yeah.

Thanks, Dan.

Yeah. See you.

It smells delicious.

It smells like... I hate cooking potatoes, I feel trapped vegetables, and

must be more to life than this omelette.

You've forgotten that what's more, I'm not going to do it, pudding.

Oh.

Nothing for dinner and absolutely nothing for dessert. How nice.

I've told Adam and Russell.

There's no dinner, I said.

You don't believe me, do you?

You think I've got a secret meal hidden away in a secret place.

And that when you're all lying across the table with bulging eyes and inflated

stomachs, I'll give in.

I'm not thinking anything.

I'm just sitting here with that joyous little feeling a man gets when he's

to be shot.

I don't care anymore.

What don't you care about anymore?

Food.

Housework. Anything?

I saw myself today, hundreds of me, outside the supermarket.

Worn faces, eyes like the windows of an empty house.

Everything's spoiled.

Look at these.

Well, they wouldn't exactly fit in the soft -as -your -face adverts, would

You could grate cheese on my hands.

Anyway, there's no dinner.

Good. Because we're going out to dinner.

I've already booked a table.

Well, go on.

Go and get ready.

When you stood in the high street that day, you know, when Annie left, did you

ponder and make decisions?

Yeah. Yeah, I made one decision.

What was that?

Still kind of like Danny.

Here?

Yes. Thought I'd make a change.

No, Ben, I don't like it here.

But I booked a table.

There's another place down the road. Couldn't we go there, please?

But why?

We've never even tried this place.

It's just a feeling.

Please.

Is this the place?

No, no, not here.

It's...

Don't

park the car.

I'll park

the

car, darling. See you in a minute.

Yeah. All right.

The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings.

Love makes your heart feel strange inside.

It flutters like soft wings in flight.

Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing.

Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle

thing.