Original subtitles

Love is like a butterfly, soft and gentle as a fly. The

multicolored moves of love are like its saddened wings.

Love makes your heart feel strange inside.

It flutters like the wings in flight. Love is like a butterfly, a rare and

gentle thing.

Has this thing had its breakfast, or should I go for a stroll around the

Sorry.

Would you tell him that that is my newspaper?

Oh, come on, Dad. You tell him. You'll have to communicate eventually.

Oh, it's okay. It's okay.

Aren't you going to read it?

I don't read at the table. Great. I'll read it, then.

In this house, nobody reads at the table.

I don't know what happened to it.

It went into the frying pan as egg, bacon and chip and it came out like

Two things.

I was deliberately not reading my newspaper because I consider it to be

manners to eat and read.

But now that I've seen the full horror of what's on my plate, may I have my

paper back?

Oh, would you believe it?

Ross Drayton's statue's going to America.

What, the lobbers? Yes.

Some rich guy.

Oh. And wouldn't you know, he wants it for the side of his swimming pool.

May we discuss my breakfast?

It's ridiculous.

Why should it go to America?

It's so delicate and enigmatic.

I mean, if the Americans want a statue, why don't they get one of their own

sculptors to chisel them a giant hamburger?

Since we're on the subject of art, may I remind you that cooking is an art?

Yes, well, I'm an abstract artist.

Toast, please.

There's something wrong with the toaster.

I put bread in and dinner mat... Come out.

Then I shall abandon the idea of breakfast. I shall go back to my bed,

paper, and return for lunch.

Funny, isn't it, how we always begin a meal with your father and end up without

him. Like a visiting ghost.

Quick prod of his plate, the complete demolition of his face, and then he just

dematerialises. I guess it's all too much for him.

Knackered sausages and Ross Drayton.

Listen, sunshine, Ross Drayton's got talent.

And this country needs talent.

We're all your best artists, writers, singers.

America, that's where, and why? Because this country screws them into the

ground. Okay, okay, don't get uptight about it. It's only a couple of bits of

rock. Don't get uptight about it.

Frost Drayton's already gone over there himself.

Now his best piece of sculpture's following.

Every day, some part of this glorious empire vanishes.

Shiploads of Victoriana, old lampposts.

Old pillar boxes.

All those rose -budded chamber pots. London Bridge. The whole goddamn lot.

Going, going.

We're just a plastic island here. Right on.

Okay, don't get screwed up about it.

I think we ought to control this conversation. I don't think the pebble

any more. Boy, all we've had grow over a couple of bits of rock.

You ought to be pleased to have a mother that can think beyond the kitchen sink.

I could be going on about the price of butter.

I could mutter endlessly about that dark little corner in your bedroom.

where even the hoover fears to tread.

You cook like the cook.

Sorry, that was a tasteless joke.

That's all right, Adam. I can make tasteless jokes too, like the shepherd's

you're going to have for your lunch.

I'm not here by accident.

Everything I do is deliberate.

Oh.

My chauffeur saw you.

He knows I know you, you see.

So when he saw you come into the park, he told me.

So I thought I'd come in and have a little chat with you.

You taste me? That is a loud smile. That really is a loud smile.

Oh, where the hell is Thomas?

Your whole face is browning.

You look like a dried apricot.

Don't fix me with that female gaze. Oh, dear, I've killed it, and all I did was

tread on it. Look.

Well, don't you yell at me.

I was just sitting there quietly listening to the band.

It was you who started...

dragging deck chairs around and beating them to death? Well, it's not easy

trying to talk to you, is it? Every time I get near you, a red flashing warning

light goes on. You're shopping basket.

You use that word to hurt me, don't you?

Shopping basket. It makes you feel superior.

The right mess I've made of my life.

45 years old.

I've lost my marriage, my dignity, my driving licence.

Now I can't even find my bloody chauffeur.

Well, let me... Let me tell you!

I'm not your mundane little housewife. Nobody tells me which washing -up liquid

can get the egg off my plate. And it was always perfectly obvious to me which

was margarine and which was butter.

Look, do I know you?

Oh, yes, that's right. We met in a cafe, didn't we?

You are married. I am divorced.

Your life is full, mine is empty. You came into the park to be alone. I

you because I am alone. I remember now. One of those unfortunate little

incidents in life.

You think I can't go anywhere without my shopping basket, don't you?

glad I found you.

I have made your tea.

I've ironed your shirt.

I've cleaned your house.

And just in case you didn't know, Ben, it's a lovely

day.

every day, all of the day.

Doesn't it make you think, what the hell am I doing?

Wandering my time, my life, my mind?

Polishing?

Doesn't it make you think it's like spending the very last pound note you'll

ever have on something you don't even like?

No.

You know, Ruby, today feels good.

I don't know why it feels good.

There's nothing special about it.

Yet.

As if I were a girl again.

Oh, well.

My first encounter with a mirror, we'll put that right.

I hate mirrors and clocks.

If we didn't have them, we wouldn't know how old we were or how late it was.

Oh.

I forgot to put tea bags in the clock.

Like, er, news, you know what I mean?

I never know what you mean, Adam.

I recognise the words, but the sentences are all of a complete mystery to me.

It's double important news.

Oh, I see.

Gathering momentum.

In that case, I'll wait for Reginald Bozenkent to mention it tonight.

We might just do that.

What does that mean?

Well, you know that Russ and you had this hang -up about the Statue of the

Lover? Yes, yes, why shouldn't we? Oh, right.

And you know that Russ gets over -emotional about things.

Yes, I understand that.

People should be proud, not ashamed of their emotions. I made a point of

teaching you both that. Right on.

Well, he's chained himself to it.

Chained himself?

You mean, actually, physically, chained himself?

With a chain?

Oh,

what have I done?

Well, his theory is that if it goes to America, he goes.

He's trying to silly change a couple of nudes.

aren't they, Adam?

Sure, sure.

Yeah, he hasn't done the full bit yet.

Are there a lot of people staring?

Well, it is just up the main hall. Oh, don't tell me any more, Adam. Let me

discover it myself, step by awful step.

We'd better get round there, Mum. Yes. Now, I'll explain it all to your father.

We've got to protect him from 90 % of what goes on in this house.

make him decent.

Are you the father?

I am, yes. Good. Do you think we can have a picture? No, you may not have a

picture. Thank you very much.

How about a nice one of the rest of the family?

A nice, smiley one.

The answer again is no. Today we are neither nice nor smiley.

What are we to do about the neighbours?

Neighbours?

I know you refuse to admit that they are there.

But I, in fact, have to make that little journey each morning from the front

door to my car.

And every time I do it, the journey gets longer and I get smaller at the events

in our house.

Soon I shall have to resort to leaving my house with a coat over my head.

Ben, is that all you've got to worry about? The neighbours?

Emotions are not the only thing he's exposing.

Yes, well, that takes courage too, doesn't it?

You know how sensitive he is about his navel being off centre.

Very important thing, the navel. Can throw the whole picture out of balance.

Too much time on their hands, that's the problem.

They shuffle from one protest to the next in a thoughtless vacuum.

They should be diverting their minds to things of importance.

He's wearing my socks.

For one of the lads with some cutting gear, it's a combination loft he's got

there.

Can we go in and see him now?

Are you the father?

Yes. You can go in now.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about his body.

Well, we've all got one, haven't we?

Yes.

In this day and age, the sight of the human form is no longer a shattering

experience. No, but for some extraordinary reason, he seems to think

sight of his is.

Have you had anything to eat? I gave him a packet of

crisps.

We'll soon have you home, and then we can talk.

I'm not coming home.

Oh, what a silly way to talk. Of course you're coming home.

Anyone would think we were your enemies.

He looked at me.

His face is filled with concern.

Yes, I think that particular arrangement of his features is concern.

Do you have any idea of the embarrassment he is causing?

I was wrong. It's embarrassment.

But nobody needs to get involved.

What does it mean, nobody needs to get involved?

We are involved.

Does he expect me to go on merrily capping people's teeth while he's being

shipped off to America entwined with a nude statue?

They're not entwined with it. They're not even entwined with each other. All

three of them are perfectly, tastefully disentwined.

It's just something I've got to do.

It's my thing.

What's he talking about?

What is he talking about?

Rembrandt next door, and you're raising your voice.

All by raising my voice, he goes up and down with my blood pressure.

Russell, I know what you're trying to do.

and why you're doing it, but you can't change things on your own.

You can't take the world and shake it and maul it and make it into what you

it to be.

Ask your father.

I'm going to give you the benefit of my ability to be reasonable.

I'm going to speak to you about human emotions.

Two years ago...

when an Amazonian female with a peaked cap and a face like a rustic brick bore

down on me with a parking ticket.

I toyed with the idea of buying a helicopter and machine gunning the

force.

I couldn't wait to come plunging out of those clouds, heading straight for the

high street.

Oh, yes, Russell.

I know how it feels to feel.

Oh, yes.

But it's a question of discipline, isn't it? And money.

Helicopters are pretty expensive.

all these years and not wanting to chain myself to railings and things?

Oh, yes.

But I never did.

And do you know why I never did? Well, like Mum said, it takes courage.

I never chained myself to things because I managed to keep sight of the one

noble thought that I am a human being, not a bicycle.

I am not a bicycle, I reminded myself.

And I know that because you are my son, you will tell yourself the same thing.

I guess I'm happy just being a bicycle.

Ben, I'd like to talk to Russell alone, with Adam.

I see.

I shall wait outside.

Ben! It's all right, it's all right, I understand.

You can sort things out.

better without me.

I am the grub in the family apple.

Get them socks on.

Mum, if you've come to talk me out of it, just forget it, all right?

these two, aren't they?

He doesn't look enthusiastic enough to me.

She looks shy, hesitant.

No, she just fancies rough now.

I know about feeling shy and hesitant.

Mum, I wish she'd get the lecture over with, so as I could ignore it and relax.

It is so...

Right.

Adam?

While I'm lecturing Russell, I'd like you to take a message to your father.

Are you the father?

Yes.

Well, we'd better go and get on with the job, wouldn't we?

Dad,

Mum wants me to give you a message.

Oh, yeah?

She said she loves you very much and there's a meat pie in the fridge.

What kind of a message is that?

The kind that's going to freak you out.

Mum's chained herself to the statue.

Oh, come on, I'm the guy who started it all. Yeah, but I'm prettier than you.

Hi.

Oh, Dad, it was a really good cause.

Well, Mum and I really felt it.

And although you may not approve of what we do, we kind of have to do it.

Like you have to go out today and be a really straight guy.

But we, most of us, have something inside us. Something real weird. Yes,

something real weird.

That's what makes life so interesting. You know, you get assorted people with

assorted hang -ups. Yeah, that's why life's so full of surprises.

Well, you've gotta do what you've gotta do. Yeah, whatever lights your candle.

I'm about to make that little journey, you see, from the front door to my car,

under the intense surveillance of the neighbours.

The neighbours?

Yes, neighbours.

To you and your mother, they are non -existent. To me, they are a terrifying

reality.

Who do you think could possibly put me somewhere I won't get run over?

Oh,

God.

God, Thomas, I'm unfit.

I'm like one of those old motor mowers that splutter around the lawn doing

everything except cut the grass. Thank you.

No, sir.

You got through half bare the old symphony today.

This time last week, Beethoven and got his ba -ba -ba -ba -bomb out before you

go flat on your face.

Isn't nature perfect?

It's funny, isn't it? I mean, you can't falter on anything.

Every plant, every creature, and so perfectly designed.

I mean, it's...

It's marvellous.

I don't know about that, sir.

Nobody can say that her daddy Longlegs was a masterpiece of engineering.

I watched one the other day. It took it half an hour to unfurl itself and get

off the ground, another half an hour to recover from smashing into the

windowpane, and then when it did get outside, the weight of its legs caused a

downward plunge and it landed up in a starling's beak.

I seem to make journeys like that every day.

I got a letter from my ex -wife.

I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

She wants the other half of the furniture.

Ruthless things, ex -wives.

I gave her everything, Thomas.

I never looked at another woman.

I mean, even in summer, when a man is threatened by that approaching army of

cheesecloth and nipples, I never looked.

That was a lie, Thomas.

When women took off their bras, I went down with eye strain.

You can get away with murder behind them.

But I never looked at another woman. I mean, not seriously.

I never wanted one, not until... Did you see the morning paper today, sir?

Yes, I did. Well, briefly, I guess.

Your friend.

Very, uh... Attractive?

Yes.

Have you seen the statue of the two lovers, sir?

No, I haven't.

But I expect I shall have a look. An interesting piece of work, sir.

They're both naked, and yet one cannot tell whether they are about to say hello

or goodbye.

I mean, what have you gained? Nothing.

A statue's still going to America.

Neighbours' tongues are going like castanets. Those bloody reporters have

nerve to say I'm 52.

Look, I am a human being with human instincts and human beliefs and human

rights. And I am not going to apologise. I am absolutely not going to apologise.

And what's more... I'm sorry.

You got it out of your system?

I suppose when a man marries a wayward woman, he can expect to have at least

wayward son in the litter. Except that in my case, I've got two.

It's all this misunderstanding.

You don't understand them.

They don't understand you.

Whereas I'm in the middle. I have to understand all of you.

If only I could see some... some comradeship, some rapport.

The man I love, the children I love.

Halfing together, having a drink together.

That's like asking a man to share a bath with a shoal of piranha.

Well, at least they take the boredom out of our lives.

You made my peas fall off my floor.

I'm sorry about your peas.

On top of which, you said something very hurtful. I'm sorry I said something

very hurtful. Still, I suppose it was the truth.

I'm sorry about the truth.

I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about me, but that's the way I am.

I would like you to like me the way I am.

And the way I am is... impossible.

I do quite like you.

And I try to understand you.

We're like trapeze artists, you and I, hurtling through the air, grasping each

other's hands.

One day I'll leap towards you with a burst of enthusiasm, and you won't be

there.

My God, what a mess that'll make.

I will always be there.

Hi, Mum.

Dad. Hi.

That's for you.

Well, with all the publicity and everything, it was kind of worse for you

for Mum.

Because in the pictures she looks good.

I appreciate your stock.

It's an identity, Dick.

Right here, it's got your name, your address, your blood group.

We left your age out.

Very nice.

I'm moved.

It's got your telephone number on as well, so if you ever come to that sudden

end you're always talking about, someone can ring us up.

It's really, really nice.

And there's a space for putting a list of all your chronic illnesses.

You should have got a bigger one.

Well, now.

How about we three going down to the pub?

I've got an hour before my next patient.

You mean for a drink?

Yes, I believe that's what they serve in pubs.

Oh, it's OK by me. And me. And me.

I'll get it.

OK?

OK, definitely.

Hey, Mum, it's for you.

See you.

Hello. Hello, Ria.

You. I did something extraordinary today.

So did I yesterday.

They'll have to be mocked this morning.

They've got bloody cheek, them newspapers.

Oh, I don't know, Ruby.

I quite like newspapers.

And telephone.

Love is life, you know.