Original subtitles

FUN FACT

Well,

I don't know what's wrong with it.

Old age, Ken.

That bloody bike's a liability.

You ought to think of switching to a car in your line of business anyway.

You got no soul, Crawford. No soul.

Yes, Christopher, the illness in medicine is just what you want. Yes,

what I thought.

Yes, and it's a good long walk.

Yeah. Thank you. Have you had your breakfast?

Yeah, thanks. Oh, good.

Well, I'll see you later then.

Right. Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Oh, any news of the taxi?

Fifteen minutes, Mrs. Yeldon. Fine, I'll be in the office.

Unless it's Mr. Heath.

I'm saving up for a lift.

Two copies, love. Our main shareholders come to look round the place.

Ken Boone?

Yeah. Your ad said nine o 'clock.

Flight transport problem, madam. I trust the staff are looking after you.

I'm Harry Crawford, by the way.

I need your help.

Right now.

Sorry, can I nip out?

This is Mrs Kershaw from Devenage.

Just outside Devenage, actually.

Well, how can I help you?

I understand you charge by the day or by the hour.

Well, it depends on the job.

Well, I'd like our relationship to be clear from the start, Mr. Boone.

I'll pay you half your daily rate, but a bonus if you're successful.

Does that sound fair? Yes, that's very fair.

Yes, yes, we're only interested in results.

Weren't you going somewhere, Harry?

Oh, no, I'm all right for a while, mate.

I want you to find my husband.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Mrs. Yeldon, what a great pleasure.

Peter. Now then, some refurnishing, I gather?

Well, it's just the old morning room.

We're thinking of turning it into more of a conference room.

You know, somewhere you can bring the team, work in through coffee, and then

over a woodcoat lunch. I think I've a set of chairs which might appeal.

And a beautiful table.

Peter, we won't be buying complete sets to start with.

Things aren't quite the same as when Philip was alive.

My new partner will have to approve.

He should be here any minute.

You think he might not approve?

Oh, no, no, no, not at all.

It's just that to him a spade is a spade and a table is a table.

The only persuading that old is beautiful.

So you haven't had any contact with him for more than a fortnight?

No.

And, um, do you know where he stayed?

Well, he had an office he used as a base, but he was always on the move.

Using hotels.

So the only phone number you've got is this car phone?

Makes me look very stupid, doesn't it?

But he only intended staying for a few months.

And when the car phone was switched off, I had no way of contacting him.

What is his business exactly?

I never involved myself in that part of Jeff's life. He imports for export.

If he's in any kind of trouble, I've got to find him.

Mrs. Kershaw.

What?

May I ask you something straight?

Do you think he might have... No, I'm not saying that he has or that he would

have. Do you think he could have run off with a younger... another woman?

Harry! No.

I don't think so, no.

If he had, I'd kill him.

He knows I'd kill him.

Well, we don't know that he has.

Well, I had to raise the question, didn't I? Because, I mean, he wouldn't

first, would he?

Look, if he's got any business problems, I mean, surely he would have gone back

to London.

That's why I'm worried, Mr Boone. That's why I'm here.

You must find him.

Right, well, I'll do what I can.

I'm not going home till I find him.

Right.

Where are you staying?

I haven't got that far yet.

I just

can't

resist them.

Hello.

Resistance has an awful lot to do with price.

Take a look at the bottom.

Oh, my God.

Harry, these are for me.

Nothing to do with the business.

All right.

Have you had them long? Those?

Not very.

There's a fairly brisk trade in that sort of piece.

Not what you'd call a buyer's market, I'm afraid.

Oh.

Harry, there's a table and a set of cane -back chairs upstairs, which I think

would look perfect in the morning room.

Boone. Ken Boone.

Did he owe you money as well?

Who, Geoffrey?

Ah.

You're a friend, are you?

No, I'm just helping to locate him.

How did you get this far?

Well, he's got a mobile phone. They gave us this address.

As clean as a whistle. Any money that shows up, we have first call.

Who's we?

Customs and Excise.

Done a bunk, you reckon?

to make me think he's gone bust.

But I smell blood.

Like a shark, eh?

Tiniest drop in the ocean's all it takes.

What happens if he's halfway round the world?

Or dead?

We don't stop for anybody, mate.

Not even the Grim Reaper.

Who did you say you were working for?

I didn't.

So you haven't seen him?

No clues?

There'll be nookie somewhere at the bottom of it.

You'll make my words.

Well, I'll leave you to it then.

Eastwood. Dave Merrick.

There's been a bloke looking for our friend.

Mrs. Kershaw, settling in all right? Yes, thanks.

Lovely place you've got here. Thank you.

I'm Helen Yeldon, by the way, Harry's partner.

You're very welcome. Thanks.

There's some tea on its way in a minute.

Yes, please.

He's Ken now.

Harry's mentioned to me about Ken helping you out.

Aye. How'd your shopping trip go?

We compromised.

We bought the chairs, we're not the table.

Oh, dear.

So they'll have to eat off their laps, eh? Well, never mind that. How'd you get

on? Well, I found the office, but I wasn't the only one interested.

Who else?

The VAT man.

Then he is in trouble.

He wound the business down all right.

There's no sign of him being ill.

Well, going off with anybody.

What are you trying to tell me, Ken?

Well, I think I ought to pull out.

Well, why?

Because the VAT man says he's filled his book.

It's hardly a crime against humanity, is it? Oh, come on, Harry. Customs and

excise. I mean, they'll catch him. The police won't be far behind.

Well, you find him first.

Then we'll stop whatever it is.

Hang on.

Please, Ken.

You don't know he's not in trouble.

You don't know... and not off with someone else.

Mr Crawford, could I have a word, please?

Oh, not now, Christopher. I'm busy.

Please.

It's urgent.

Oh, excuse me.

He's the son of a friend of mine. He's not very well.

He's taken quite a shine to Harry.

There are men in the Ilkston meadow.

Are there really? Oh, I never did.

They've been digging.

And I know why the Ordnance Survey gives us the answer.

It's two words, Mr Crawford.

Oliver Cromwell.

What do you reckon?

Well, it's clear enough, isn't it, Ken?

It's all in there, isn't it?

Battle of Woodcote, 1649.

They're planning a dig, aren't they? Going to dig up my back bloody garden.

What, for bits of armour and all that old stuff?

Without so much as a buy your bloody leave.

What is the gardener going to say?

She need know.

I'll sort the buggers out myself.

Whatever their game is.

Cripes.

They're not just going to dig up a little square.

They're going to strife the bloody place.

Let's catch them out tomorrow, eh?

Well, it's that Kershaw case, isn't it? Need a bit of help with that, don't you?

No. I'm just nosing around a squash court.

Call me home.

Nothing exciting.

Come through here.

Ken, I've just tidied up in here. Take a look at that.

Whose is that?

Geoff Kershaw's.

Certainly isn't Marion.

Those stairs are going to be the death of me.

This is the ship.

I recognise the barman.

Good girl.

Right, get some money out of the petty cash, get down there, find out who she

is. Don't approach her. Just come back and tell me.

It's only a replica.

You wouldn't think that, would you? Some nutter come at you with it.

What does that mean, Ken?

It's an escape kit, love.

I don't know what it means to him.

Oh, Marion.

Freeze!

Stay still. It's all right, it's all right, it's all right.

Slowly, put it on the floor.

It's only a... On the floor!

Look, I'm not Jeff Kershaw, mate, if that's what you think.

Why me?

Kershaw's a gopher.

Thought you had him up there with you.

Kershaw's our man.

That's a bad time we had a break on this one.

Well, can I go now?

I want that put back in Kershaw's locker. Ask the boss if he can spare it.

Been working on this case for over a year now.

I'm a mickmack.

Fine art.

Fine art?

Yeah, you know, antiques, paintings, piles of brick, that sort of stuff.

I'm after a smuggling operation.

And you think Kershaw's involved?

He's the broker.

Lads come to him with anything from a Georgian snuffbook to the Mona Lisa.

And he trades it off.

So you haven't come across him?

I'm working for his missus.

I shouldn't think she's mixed up in his garden. It seems genuine enough.

You reckon?

She can't be, can she? I mean, she wouldn't hire me to go asking around if

was something going down.

The fact that he's gone to ground puts him top of the list, and you've just

confirmed that.

I'm smelling gaff.

So how's this thing work?

Yeah!

Well, there's this lorry, you see.

Leaves London.

And it picks its way up the country, gathering in stolen antiques.

Then they get shipped out in bulk.

Livable, probably.

Do you think they stop off in Nottingham?

Yes, somewhere.

He just met them in London a few weeks back.

I reckon this is his last chance.

Yeah, he does seem a bit anxious.

Can't say I blame him.

But there's a different rhythm to things up here.

He's got a few problems adjusting.

Tell me about your Mrs Kershaw, then.

I've told you all I know.

Look, I know you boys have got a problem, but what am I going to tell my

You tell her anything you like except the truth.

I'm not as happy as you are about your precious client.

She's my best lead.

Look, if I can see a way of finding Kershaw, will you leave me to sort his

messes out?

Well, that depends.

Right, we've taken up a lot of your time, Mr. Boone.

Let me buy you lunch.

If I were you, Jimmy, I'd pitch a tent over there in the basin.

Right.

Haven't got very far, have you?

Well, that's why we sent for you.

Well, you've got a hell of an imagination, Mr. Boone. Not against the

it? Well, I should kill two birds with one stone, then.

Oh, yes, Ken, I can see that helping the police has business potential.

But at what price?

It's the easiest thing to do.

Have you told her what's going on? No, of course not.

Then he may be a criminal.

May be about to chuck her. Or both.

Yeah, she said she'd clobber him if he was.

Bit of a state this morning, wasn't it?

Anyway, what's this plot you've cooked up with Eastwood?

To Crawford.

They're at it again.

Only worse.

I'll show you.

Why me, Ken? I'm the most unfathomable man I know.

I wouldn't say so.

Come on.

Look, this thing with Eastwood, I'm going to be passing around a few

see if they show any leads, then call the police if anyone bites.

What? Eastwood's going to give you some stolen property to handle? No, he's not.

For what?

But these people aren't going to be fooled by recovered stuff from a police

station, are they, Harry? I'm going to have to go out and nick one or two bits

and pieces myself.

What? Yeah, make it look more credible.

Hang about.

You can't do that.

I suppose you get caught.

That won't be a problem. Not if I break in the wood coat and knock off some of

your gear.

Yeah, well, I can feed away your mind's working. Bloody what?

I'm serious, Harry. It's got to look good. Otherwise, forget it.

You mean you and some copper have pulled your ideas and the best you can come up

with is Robbie's thing? You will be with me. It'll never leave your side. Oh,

you want me to nick it? You want me to rob me own club, make away with me own

valuables? What am I supposed to say to Helen? She need never know.

Oh, God, it's ludicrous. It's a perfect crime, Harry. You own 49 % of the place

and most of my business.

Have you any idea how much some of those things mean to Helen? Have you any idea

how that Marion feels, eh? 20 years with a geezer and then he goes off leaving

her nothing.

I mean, I've got to find him.

Come on, what's a few valuables? Between mates?

On loan?

When were you thinking of doing it?

Did you find her? Spoke to the manager.

She did used to work there, but she left three weeks ago.

Went back to her parents in Cumbria.

Personal problems.

Anything to do with a married man?

No, he reckons it was illness in the family.

Ken, even if Kershaw hasn't gone off with her, it doesn't mean you were

mean, why else would he have a photo of her? I know. It's my conscience. I just

feel better. If I could prove he had been cheating on her.

Where will you be if I need you?

Around.

Afternoon, Mrs Yeldon. Yes. Your chair.

Oh, the chair.

Where would you like them?

Would you put them in here, please?

Harry?

Chair, they've arrived.

Oh, good, good.

We'll have them up here, I think.

You could yell then. Sorry, telephone.

Still looking for a table?

None of Benson's prices, I'm not.

Four and a half grand for someone to eat your dinner off. You didn't fool the

other one.

Well, how much can you afford then?

What I can afford and what I'm prepared to pay are two entirely different

things, aren't they?

What I'm saying is, why buy retail from Benson when you can get one wholesale

from me?

Hello.

Here we go.

Well?

Well, that's seven in that road.

And? Nothing.

No reaction at all?

Well, I think the last one may call the police.

It'll be different when you've got something to sell.

Really? I think you underestimate just how many honest people there are. That's

nine dealers I've seen.

How many more are there?

Take this as an absolute truth, Ken.

The world, including Nottingham, will never run out of antique shops.

OK, let's dress up all.

Gershwin.

Where is he?

Ken?

Um... I don't know.

A cup of coffee?

Is that your answer to every problem?

I didn't realise there was a problem.

My husband is missing.

Doesn't he tell you where he is?

Supposing something important comes up?

He's out and about, isn't he?

Working hard on your case.

Is he?

And where were you this morning?

I must have phoned half a dozen times.

I've walked the streets of Nottingham.

What is Ken Boone doing all day?

See you tomorrow, then.

Here, wait a minute. There's one or two teams we've got to sort out. Hey!

Hey!

I don't think they heard you, Harry.

You all right for tonight?

Yes.

In the meantime, help me sort out whoever it is that's in Hilkiston

The one thing we don't want is an audience, I think.

Evening. Right, then. I'm a man of very few words. Pack up and bugger off!

I beg your pardon? And if you have dug up anything, bunk it in the back of the

Land Rover.

I don't think we know each other, do we? We're as friendly as we're ever going

to get, mate.

What are we supposed to have dug up?

Sword, armour, helmets.

Anything that fell off them during the battle. I'm sorry, battle?

Can I lose you my patience?

Deal with them for me, will you?

Before I turn nasty. I don't know who he is, but these trials have been custom

and practice here for the last 20 years. What do you mean, trials?

Sheepdog trials.

Sheepdog?

I see no sheep.

Come on, point some sheep out to me.

young man if this is a student's rag I think it's in very poor taste.

no rag.

we hold the Lawrence Cup trials here every other year.

when do you think you're gonna hold these trials?

tomorrow.

tell I can't cope.

what with tonight?

tonight and now this tomorrow.

is there any problem?

Mr Yeldam's never minded before.

you mean this was something you arranged with him? oh yes we always deal with

him. he usually leaves us alone. he hasn't been over yet.

No, he hasn't been over yet because it's too late, Mr. Yeldon.

Good Lord.

I'm sorry to hear that.

But has the place changed hands?

Are you the new owner?

No, no, I'm not the owner. I'm what you might call a business partner.

Now then, just who the hell are you?

James Blackwater, by Count Kilmorran.

Allah love.

Everything's turned off.

Sheep, Harry.

Sheep.

Kevin. Can't we do this without damage to property?

Yeah. But it involves climbing through the keel.

What now?

I'm going to get some kip and find a buyer in the morning.

What's that?

Oh, it's nothing, Kev. It's nothing.

It's only bison.

It's kraut rubbish.

Let's have a couple.

It's never going to forgive me for this, you know.

What was that?

You certainly bring me to all the best places.

Quite like old times, hmm?

Huh? Last night.

A few names.

Cheap hotels.

Noisy beds.

Yeah.

Long time.

There'll be no roughing it where we're going, though, girl.

We'll be well out of here.

We'll be good and all.

I'll need to check out your burglar alarm.

He obviously knew what they were after.

Three pairs of silver caches, a quick glass vase with a silver lid, two mice

oriental figures.

Philip gave me those on our 10th anniversary.

Still no sign of this Marion Kershaw.

They've hardly liked her to be, is there? She certainly had me fooled.

Helen, we don't know for certain that Mrs Kershaw had anything to do with it.

Right. I'd better start interviewing again.

No. He was all over it at first, and when I told him he wanted exactly shop

window stuff, he slung me out.

Ken, you've done more than your fair share.

If you want to call it a day, you can.

What's Eastwood going to say?

No matter what he says, mate, it's your decision.

Eastwood will be off back to Hammersmith soon.

I think I'll give that Benson's a try.

Harry reckons he's bent.

I help you.

I hope so.

You buy in?

That rather depends on what you're saying.

Couple of nice pieces.

Oh, yes.

Choice.

Any other outlets?

Been in the family long, has it?

Well, not long enough to get sentimental about.

There's the door.

I'll take it you're not interested.

Out!

You should have told me. What?

What you had planned for us. If I told you two weeks ago that we were off to

Florida for good, would you have kept quiet about it?

Oh, would you?

For good?

Oh, yeah. The last wagon load.

And the best.

Florida? I said.

There wasn't anyone else, was there?

I'm not going on my own.

Oh! There's something I want you to pick up for me from the squash club. Will

you do that for me?

Jeff.

Jeff, I hired someone to look for you.

He wasn't any good.

I mean, he only got as far as your office.

Ah, forget it.

If the Batman can't catch me, a private detective can.

I'm sure young Christopher Heath's onto us, Ken.

You give me such a knowing look.

And we could get done for wasting police time.

Hawkins will see we're all right.

We're speeding things up for them.

They may have to wait another six months for an opportunity like this. They are

grateful. No, no, no.

What's bothering me is where is Mrs Kershaw?

Here you are, Ken. Thank you.

Mr Crawford. Thank you, Laura.

Any luck shifting that stuff?

No, not yet.

I think I'm trying the wrong places.

I've been flogging this lot round all the antique shops in the book.

Not a villain among them. You and your touching faith that you were danger.

I even tried that bloke you got the chairs off. I thought you said he was

as a nine -bob bit. He is, but he's upmarket bent, isn't he?

He's four and a half grand for a bloody table bent.

I don't know.

Warehouses, people who shift it.

Transformed. I'm going to have to look... Hang about.

Wait a minute.

Here, try this chap.

He might do you.

Looking for me?

If your name's Beveridge. Yeah.

Come on in.

Not exactly a mean vase, but... Where'd you get it?

Local.

They told me you could put me onto a bloke who could help me shift it.

What are you taking me for?

His name was Jeff.

That's all I know about him.

I've got to get rid of this stuff.

I've got a load more.

Where did they come from?

I just told you.

Local.

Where?

Woodcote Park.

I do hope you're not expecting the earth for a... Mr... Jeffreys.

Mr. Jeffreys.

Wait there a moment.

Listen.

Check out Woodcourt Park over at Ruseby.

Seems there was a break -in last night.

Oh, and get on to Kershaw.

Warn him I might have one or two late additions he should have a look at.

Be back here at three o 'clock.

Bring the rest.

Right.

You all right, mate?

Yeah, fine.

I mean, these blokes, it's their job. They know what they're doing. But do

Harry, we're dealing with a bunch of bent antique merchants, not the mafia.

All right, mate?

Yeah, sure.

Right, good luck.

All the best, Robert, and thanks for your help.

Mr Hawkins, if you think that I'm going to let that moisten out of my sight for

a minute, you've got another thing coming. It was given to her on her 10th

anniversary.

Jeff Rees.

Anything I can do?

Yeah, stay up here and keep an eye on the road, would you? And keep your head

down.

There you go.

Two and a half grand.

Take it or leave it.

Sounds okay.

Yeah.

There you go.

Thanks.

What's going on?

What is it?

This is the man I had.

What are you bloody going?

Nothing. I swear it.

Marion, go get back in the car. Why? What are you going to do? Just go!

No, Jeff.

I don't want any of that. Oh, yes, you'll take the bloody money, won't you?

it comes to the rough stuff, I'm the one.

He was running off with someone, though. Shut up.

I'm sorry, but I don't care.

This whole place is surrounded with coppers, Kershaw.

Marion!

She's killed him.

Let's go.

Bloody hell.

Cat.

Did you get him?

Look at that, mate.

He's like a gem.

Own your bloody fire extinguisher.

Teach me to cheat on a client, won't it?

I know where that stuff is, I think.

Listen, we're too old for this game.

You can try that again, mate.

Come on.

Oh, bad luck, Frank.

Bad luck. Tie him up.

Frank, as I'm sure you all remember, won last year's championship.

And our next up is a hot favourite for this year's championship, Nick Keats of

Gotham.

And I just how that dog feels.

Where's Helen?

Oh, she'll be around somewhere.

Oh, she'll be in the marquee doing the food.

You, uh, you haven't told her yet, then?

No, I haven't.

There's only one thing I can say to person, Mrs. Young.

You are perfectly unsure.

Well, I didn't realise the place was so easy to break into. I've been whipped

away from under my nose. We're talking about another £2 ,000 at least.

Will your partner hit the wood?

I mean, I gather Mr. Crawford is a cautious man where money is... Whatever

people say about Harry Crawford, he's honest, he's solid, dependable, he's

and in the nicest possible way, thoroughly predictable.