Original subtitles

fun time.

Remember what I told you about the writ?

As soon as you find that Charles Henry Marcus, plonk it in the palm of his

otherwise he'll deny he's ever had it.

You look nasty while I'm doing it, eh?

Well, no worse than usual.

Jeff. Make yourselves at home.

You remember Gay, don't you?

Yeah, not many of us could forget Gay, Don.

And there were many of us.

All ready for you, Mr. Pettiford? Mr.

Weston?

You

kick

their arses lately, Julian?

No, Don, not as yet. I'll see to it next.

Ground floor windows.

Hello, darling.

Know anything about trees, do you?

Only that you fell out of one. Oh, very droll. Got some coffee?

And a biscuit.

Let's get something straight, shall we?

Yeah, I think you probably could.

I may be working here for a few days, so shall we establish some ground rules?

I can handle this, Ken.

You got anything to say, mate, except to both of us? She was looking after

herself rather well, I thought. What about the double meaning?

Oh, he's very good at double entendres, Trevor.

Roy's the more grown -up of the two.

Aren't you, Roy?

You bloody... Hey, hang on, mate. They're only being a bit lippy.

It's been one thing after another with these two.

And Mr. Pettifer is very, very cross about it. Can't have that, can we? I

these trees replanted today as per the plans. Now, is that quite clear?

Stuff this for a game of grown -ups.

I'm not taking this.

I'm Margaret Daly.

I'm here to install a security system, unless that interferes with anyone's

battle plans, of course.

Wire up a few mouths while you're about it.

Father leans.

10 -16.

Mr. Pettifer, I've had enough of working for you.

Settle up with us so far. Call it around 300.

200.

I'm not being thumped by your hide hands anymore.

Mr. Pettifer, I've had enough of working for you.

Settle up with us so far. Call it around 300.

200.

I'm not being thumped by your hired hands anymore.

Mr. Bender, I don't know if we're... 50, 900,

950. Yes?

Can we help you?

No, it doesn't matter.

Julian.

Oi! I want to work with you.

Sorry. Hurry.

No, nothing. I'm interested in a bit of a hurry, that's all.

Look, I think I saw Petty for handing out some money. I got plumped again.

Money? £5 ,000, maybe more, in a £50 note.

You all right, Margaret?

What's going on around here?

Oh, a boy just poked his head round the door, saw we were busy, that's all.

They were handing out £50 notes.

Silly, silly boy. I don't even know who's on a £50 note.

You do?

Pay you too much.

Margaret.

You two know each other?

Yes, we know each other.

When did you get out, Geoff?

A year ago.

Times change, Margaret. We're none of us what we used to be.

I do hope not. What about the money, then?

You want to talk about money, eh?

Well, let's talk about the thousand quid I gave your partner three weeks ago.

You did what? I've even a receipt somewhere.

Cash up front. Always our policy.

And we expect the work done or our money back.

Something else you and Trevor ought to talk about.

I blame the telly meself.

We agreed that anything up front would go into the account.

Well, it did. No, it didn't. I checked the bloody account yesterday. It says

ready to be true.

So I put it in the wrong account? Yeah, your own. That's a very wrong account.

You're saying I stole it? No, but only because you'd like me to, so you could

play the martyr as well. I'm not taking this crap from a junior partner. Listen,

sunshine.

The problem doesn't end there. Don Pettifer wants his money back or the

delivered. Well, I'm prepared to deliver. Well, I'm not.

Mr. Pettifer wants a word.

Mr. Mark Christopher.

Charles Henry Marcus!

Charles Henry Marcus!

Charles Henry Marcus!

Charles Henry Marcus!

I didn't expect your wife to bring up two kids on no maintenance.

Son, you didn't want to hurt me.

Charles Henry Marcus.

No.

As I live and slide down the bloody pole, it's happy Jim Hargraves from Blue

Watch. How are you, Jim? Very good to see you.

Especially looking so prosperous.

Well, small thing, Jim, but mine are, you know. Here, a cup of all of that. It

calms you down. I'll get you a cup of coffee. Oh, lovely.

There you go, mate.

I prefer the molten ops myself.

Busy here, is it?

Can't complain.

What, seven days a week job, is it?

Oh, no, no, no, Jim. Not Wednesdays.

Man's got to have a day off.

Oh, it was Wednesdays I was interested in. For a function.

Can't you pick another night?

Sorry.

Oh, dear.

There's no need for you to be here watching our every move, Harry.

We are a responsible organisation.

Oh, I'm sure, Jim, I'm sure. I mean, we being... Loaf, Harry.

Loaf? Oh, what the bloody hell's loaf?

League of absent friends.

The dear departed, Harry.

Yeah, well, I'm sure I can oblige.

We wondered whether you could see your way to a bit of a discount and all.

What? Seeing as how some of your members won't be present in the flesh, as it

were.

Seeing as how most of us aren't as flesh as you are, Harry.

Do you know where he is?

He's gone to lunch.

In Warwick.

He'll probably be back.

Thursday!

He's a real dark horse, that Don Pettifer, Harry.

Money up front or not, I'd love to be a fly on some of his walls.

I thought you'd left the fort earlier.

Well, if a fire broke out next door, would you and Ken stand by and watch?

Jeff Doudna was there.

Who was he?

Bloking it for burglary five years ago.

There's something going on.

Yes, well, as I say, you've left the police force, haven't you? What I'd give

Nick Donpeter.

Margaret.

Just one. That's all it takes.

Margaret.

What, Harry?

Some advice.

What?

Well, if it's Pettigrew bloke, it's as if he, as you say, is.

Mm? Then I should get that check in first thing tomorrow.

You've been. He looks good, Harry.

Yeah, well, Linda's on holiday.

Alistair's left, you know, the tall, spotty one.

I've advertised, but no bugger or what.

You written the letter?

Pardon? Ken, it's got to be in the town by the end of the week.

Yeah, it will be. It will be.

Hey, Ken.

You never guess who'll come in today?

You're right. I won't.

Happy laughing, Jim. I agree. He's got religion.

I'm a bloody good mum.

I can't cook.

I just can't do it. Trevor, you can read, though, can't you, Trevor?

Of course I can read.

Well, if you can read, you can cook.

It's all in the book.

And the books say six minutes per medium -sized bun.

These poor little beggars have been in for at least 15.

Oh, Mum, I do have to go.

I mean, what's so different about the Yorkshire day all day?

As compared to Birmingham, you mean?

What with you moving on and business not exactly thriving.

No, it will.

Give it time.

If your father's prepared for business, I keep telling you that. Yeah, it'd be

nice to have met this father, eh, just for once. Trevor, don't. Please don't

start all that again. I'm sorry.

It's been a solid day.

Just because the trees were in the wrong holes, I had to spend all afternoon

shifting them.

Without the proper tools and all.

How come?

I've always got the hump over something I've said.

Jumped in the truck and drove off into the sandpit.

Things are okay between you two, though, aren't they? You know, Roy, they will

be tomorrow.

Marcus Windedressing.

Good morning.

This is Williams, the baker in Queen Mary Street.

Who am I speaking to?

Oh, Charlie's mom.

We need him urgently, Harry. Life and death.

It's a little bit urgent, Mrs. Marcus.

You see, we've got this charity bake on Friday and we've absolutely nothing in

the windows about it at all.

And it... She's not bloody having it, Ken.

What charity?

Oh, the lifeboats.

Yes, I know there aren't any lifeboats in Brumwich with Marquis.

Find out where he's working today.

So, do you know when I might be able to get hold of Charlie a bit sharpish

today?

Yes, I'm sure he told you not to say, but...

I think he'd be furious to miss his chance of work.

And the possibility of a long -term engagement. You see, I mean, there are

several occasions when we need the windows.

Brilliant.

Hall Street.

Thank you very, very much, Mrs. Marquis.

Well done, mate.

Did she say what number Hall Street? It's about a mile long.

It's a bloody good job she didn't say the A1 then, isn't it?

Hey, remember the days when you used to advertise yourself as anything legal

considered? Yeah.

Now, what happened to the legal bit?

Redness in Bluebird, 800 JLH.

I'd like to see you professionally.

You're seeing me?

It's about my partner. He's not turned up.

What?

Vanished. I phoned him. No answer. The van's gone. He's gone. Any idea why?

No.

Did he say anything about money?

Their money?

Their money?

It's just that something Roy said he saw. Something he shouldn't have seen.

He didn't say anything.

And I am worried about him, honest.

Here's my card.

I'm in the office between five and six.

Morning, Peter. Can I help at all?

Charles Henry Marquess.

Kenneth Wynne Stanley Boone.

Not a lot of people know that.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, mate, watch it!

Hey, give us a break! Nothing personal!

You thought about the job?

No. I've come to see Margaret Daly, as a matter of fact.

Oh.

Not back yet.

Oh. She said between five and six.

How much longer will she be?

Oh, I don't know. I'm not a keeper, am I?

Sorry.

What was the job?

Sort of difficult to describe, really. Gym or dog's body?

Certainly not.

There are opportunities for advancement in this business, young man.

Only I could well be looking for a new career, you see.

Perhaps this is what they call a fortuitous meeting.

Trevor can't write.

Well, you'd better come into the office, Trevor.

How's it going?

Nearly finished the first floor, Mrs. Pettifer.

There'll be no hiding from Uncle Don now, will there?

Don.

Drop something, love?

No.

I was just looking for the best place to run the cables, actually. But he's run

his cables, Margaret.

Your electrician.

On the top of the skirting board.

See? There really is nothing going on, Maggie. I mean, we're the ones who've

been robbed.

Neither of the two lads turned up for work today.

My books are still a thousand quid out of kilter.

Just a couple of lads on the make, that's all. The world's full of them.

I expect you're right.

Of course I am.

Okay, then.

They've made him out of some kit or other, I swear it. Trevor, we were

about Roy. He says you phoned him. Yes, mate. No answer.

Well, that doesn't prove anything.

Oh, so my mate's just disappeared into thin air, have he?

I'd like to know how he got my truck to disappear with him.

Yeah, well, perhaps he's at home with his feet up watching the snooker.

This money Roy says they were handing over.

We've only got his word for it.

I think it existed.

Oh, you do, do you?

Yes, I think he walked in on something he shouldn't.

I think something's happened to him.

You think, Margaret? We need evidence. We need facts.

The earring.

Come on, that's not much.

My mate's disappeared.

Isn't that enough?

All right, it's easily solved. We just go round there and knock the bloke up.

What's his address?

21 Haven Lane.

And have a look up and down for my truck, will you?

Shouldn't he be coming with us?

No, it'll be quicker on our own.

Ah, hello, Mr Wickham.

Ah, and how much did he owe you?

What? Look, I've had all sorts round here, ending just now with a bloke built

like a tank trap, dueling his neighbours. He said he'd take me

lieu. I said, come on in, help yourself.

Listen, mate, can we come in and talk?

We're not after anything.

Come on in.

Would you like to know if Roy's OK?

Of course he's OK.

Do you know where he is?

Well, that bloke Julian says that he owes him a grand.

Personally, I blame that mate of his.

She'll have a court right.

So have you seen Roy all night?

Well, now that you mention it, not since yesterday breakfast time.

OK, thanks.

Yeah, thanks, mate.

All he wants is a thousand quid he paid Trevor up front.

That's not unreasonable.

Can you and your fatal human nature?

I'm definitely considering taking the job out. Not least because you need

someone with ideas, not just a skivvy. Few ideas, eh? Well, go on then, let's

have a for instance.

Well, this ping pong lot, how much are they paying you?

Trevor Morrison, they're more things in life than money.

Take that from one who knows.

Besides which, they pay me up to this sort of.

I mean, these kids here, we're talking private schools, two cars, cottage in

Welsh Marches. They can afford.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a sentimental person.

An old mate come in the other day.

Wanted a discount. I'll give it to him. Well, there you are.

An old mucker from the brigade.

What, guards?

Fire.

Oh, how much?

Well, I'll let him have the place for 200 pounds for the night. Some kind of

spiritualist meeting or something. I don't know.

There you are, Harry. Fool and his money.

You wouldn't like me to see if I could get a better deal for you, would you?

No, I would not.

Trevor?

Thank goodness I found you, love.

Excuse me.

Look, this fella called just after you left, wanting some money back.

Yeah, oh, nobody would have wanted money.

Um, this is Harry Crawford.

Harry, Renata Cartwright.

Charmed, I'm sure, Mrs Cartwright.

Hello.

Call a Renata.

They say that he goes out in his lunch hour and gives people parking tickets.

Sorry I'm late.

Ken, this is Detective Sergeant Merrison. Ken Boone, my partner.

Hi. And this is an old colleague of mine. Detective Constable Pelham.

Hello.

Sue.

Look, Margaret.

We've been watching Pettifer for months.

Who goes in, who comes out.

Something's going on.

And we hope you're prepared to help us.

Oh, we're always prepared to help, aren't we, Ken?

Yeah, sure.

You see, for all our efforts, these naughty boys are still at the Schloss.

And they're doing what they were always doing, and we're no nearer to stopping

them.

Get my drift?

No.

If you spoke English, it might help.

I'm talking about Sadler, Sylvester and Pettifer on the one hand.

And Bug.

On the other.

Bugs! Good day, gentlemen.

Hang on, Margaret.

You know what it's like.

Margaret. You wanted to plant microphones at Slate Home.

Awful cheek to ask, I know.

You're right about that.

Margaret, I've been after Pettifer for 18 months and I can't see any way in.

I've spent more time outside his place than I have inside my own.

We would greatly appreciate your help.

Off the record, of course.

There you go, Jim.

Tom.

What capacity did you say you were speaking in? Business advisor to Mr

Must be very interesting work.

How many in the slow circle are you saying, Jim?

Well, that's a question, isn't it?

Infinite number, mate.

Yeah, but how many of those on Earth come along?

Depends on the weather.

200, 250.

Trevor, have you lost anybody lately?

To the Ethers?

No.

I could have sworn.

You absolutely sure?

Yeah, I'm bloody sure.

It's just that I've had this sudden contact with someone on the other side.

What do they look like?

Average height.

Average sort of person, really.

Male? Yeah.

Name?

No.

No, he doesn't say.

Partner of yours.

Friend.

Quote? Oh, good God, no.

You sure his name ain't Roy?

He's telling me you're not averse to earning a few, Bob.

I'll book the plaza.

Tonight? Harry said he won't be there.

But what guarantee have I got that that's true?

Why don't you get a cup and join me?

No, I'd rather go back to the kitchen, Harry.

I'm not sure, but I've got a feeling the microwave's leaking.

Leaking? What's it leaking?

Well, waves, Harry.

Oh, bloody things are far too technical for me.

Just you relax.

I'll see to it.

Harry, there is just one thing.

What's that?

Well, I'm not sure that... Oh, God, it's funny, isn't it? I mean, there she is,

a grown woman, and she can't do her own... Well, come on, Jeff, spit it out.

What is it?

Say, really?

Nothing. Hey, come on, come on, you can tell me.

Erin, she's asked me if you'd, if she could invite you to dinner at her place.

I said, Ma, forget it. I said he's a happily unmarried man.

Well, Renata did.

Whichever would be delighted.

When did she say?

She said tonight.

But if tonight's a problem... No, no, tonight's no problem.

Just got happy Jim Hargreaves. I can trust him with the key to lock up after,

can't I?

I'll stand by you if you like. I'd better tell Renata you've had the air.

Ma,

it's Trevor.

Could you do me a big favour?

Frank, I don't think the angle's quite right on this one.

Can you turn it off? I'll go and fix it.

What's wrong with this one?

Miss Daly asked me to switch it off. She's changing the angle.

Harry, it'll be fine. You needn't have come back, really.

What is it they have?

Sort of medium in the centre of the room.

Yeah, according to Jim.

Well lit he has to be, with a definite hint of murk ten yards or so out into

faithful.

That gives you the creeps, doesn't it?

How do I look?

The perfect gent, Harry. As always.

I brought you a present.

I hope it's not being too forward.

Well, it depends what it is, Harry.

If it's a double bed, you might find her a little bit cautious.

It's nothing like that at all.

No, it's a set of placemats depicting scenes from the Russian Revolution.

Well, she's always been a little bit left to centre.

Right, then.

Hasta la vista.

Enjoy yourself, Harry.

Don't rush, Pat.

So what was it?

You dapped all the lightbulb.

Sorry?

The bug.

I used the lightbulb.

I don't like it, you know. I know.

Can we drop this, Ken?

You were against it when your pal suggested bugs.

Petter was employing you, for God's sake, to mind his security, not fill his

place with bugs. I used one bug again.

And I did it for a colleague.

Just like they do things for us, remember?

You did it because you want Pettifer.

Just like you want something to happen to Roy, don't you?

So it all slots in nicely.

Oh, don't be absurd.

You haven't got an ounce of evidence to support his theory, have you?

Ken.

Just prejudice.

I said, can we drop this?

Yeah, fine.

Hey, Ken, do you remember Lee Marvin and Cat Baloo?

Yeah, of course I do.

You remind me of them a lot, you know.

Do I?

Hmm.

Especially that scene, you know, when the Indian boy has to dress him up for

gunfight. Had to squeeze him into a corset.

You'll soon be like that.

Now he gets his life story.

Ken, go and have another look through our front window. See what they're up

Are you sure it's his girlfriend's place?

It's the very one who got him in stock.

You're not what you'd call intimate, are they?

Or a boon?

How funny, that.

Because I could go for her myself.

Well?

Charles Henry and his girlfriend are going to a party.

Any minute now.

Right, Ken, keep your head down.

Watch out, the post will be done.

You take that smile off your face. This is business. Give me that writ.

There's just one little problem.

I don't want to know about it, Ken.

Well, it's a bear.

I can't deliver a writ to a bloody bear.

Well, I don't know.

Well, where are his hands, for God's sake?

Bears don't have hands.

Their paws.

I know they've got paws. It's not a real bear, is it?

No.

Oh, shut up, Ken.

Charles Henry Marquess?

Oh, no, no.

Rupert.

This is ridiculous.

He's the kind of bloke that wouldn't reuse an unfranked postage stamp. He's

nothing to do with Sylvester Sadler and the pedophiles. It was worth checking,

sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to a

heavyweight contest.

In the blue corner from Selly Oak, at 17 stone 7 pounds, Ramesses

O 'Culligan.

In the red corner, from Milton Keynes, at 17 stone, dead,

Cliff Jenkins!

the funny thing about VAT is that actually doing it can prove very

You know, like you've achieved something in your life. You know what I mean,

Renata? Yes, I think so. Harry, would you like some more tortellini?

No, I wouldn't. I couldn't put you in an amount.

No, I mean, you see, what I do is I keep receipts as they come in.

Well, you know, some of these till receipts, I mean, they can be self

can hardly read them, can you? So what I do is I keep a calculator in my pocket.

Why don't I make some coffee?

Huh? You stay there.

Strange, I wonder who that could be at this time of night.

Shall be a tick.

Good evening.

Um, Harry, I'd like to introduce you to my nephew, Peter.

How do you do, Peter?

Well, it's not my fault if your cover was blown.

You were the one who got out the car.

Oh, shut up, Ken. And asked a bear if he was Charles Henry Marquis.

We need somebody else on the job.

You're really glad I cocked it up, aren't you, Ken? Go on, say it. You're

glad. Oh, come on.

This way!

Oh,

Kendra.

Gee. What's going on? Who's this lot? Where's Harry?

Oh, if I could take those questions one at a time, Ken. Yeah, fast.

There's a boxing match.

Unlicensed. Oh, my God, do you think so? We'd better not tell Harry, then.

Graft, graft, graft, innit? All the bloody way.

And let's do that lot are in there. Well, they're a cross -section of

Ken. There's even one or two police places, I swear it. Oh, I bet there are.

Where's Harry?

He's having stuff with Mum, or was. She just found his way left.

He'll be here in a minute. Help me, please, Ken.

Right, one good turn deserves another, okay?

You be here at nine o 'clock tomorrow morning.

Harry,

hello, mate.

Hiya, mate. You coming with us? Yeah, well, get off your silly bugger. I'm the

same as I was when you last saw me, aren't I? We're going round the mall for

sherbet. What?

Now? Yeah, we need some company.

Yeah, your company, Harry.

Oh, well, it's nice to know your real friends still care.

Hey, you know, I've made the biggest prat of myself I've ever done. Well,

said something.

Seconds up!

Cheers. Cheers.

Tell us what you've done, Murray.

It's a very nice woman, that Renata Cronkite, with whom I've got absolutely

all in common.

That's nothing to get upset about, is it?

Well, yeah, but instead of just being polite, me mouth goes into turbo when I

give her a big lecture on VAT.

But that can't have taken long.

Don't you believe it, mate? I went on and on and on.

I mean, I could see everything in the shutters down. But would I close me gob,

would I?

So after the dessert course, you upped and left?

No, no, no, this is the interesting bit.

Her nephew, in inverted commas, turns up, Peter.

Yeah?

Yeah, well, he's about the right age, about 15 years younger than her, except

clamps himself onto her in the most passionate embrace I've ever seen.

In Birmingham.

Well, good for her.

Yeah, well, there's something else.

Cos I could swear the moment he come through the door, she called him Roy.

Roy? Yeah, definitely.

I mean, they were all over each other.

Look, what's on top of the tortellini?

Harry, we love you. Drink up, mate.

You know the attic? The bit with the skylight?

Placing across the moor? Yeah, well, we could turn it into a spare room, no

matter what the estate agent says.

It'd be a bit small, but it's only for sleeping.

Oh, hello, Harry.

Forget you're calculated, did you? I know.

I think one of my credit cards must have slipped down the side of your sofa.

Some friends brought me along.

Here.

What the hell's going on?

Evening, Roy.

Been a bit worried about you. You've got a ruddy cheek barging in. What's been

going on, Roy?

I've been up to see our new house, if you must know, to do one or two odd jobs

on it.

Why didn't you tell Trevor?

He'd been worried silly about you. I tried, you know, but the moment was

never... You bottled up.

Yeah. Look, he was always very possessive, even in nappies.

I just don't like leaving him, that's all.

You what?

Look, he's not a survivor, my Trevor.

He's not streetwise. He's one of life's innocents.

You are joking, aren't you?

I think she's speaking as a mother, Ken.

Be that as it may, it's still a bit difficult to tell your best mate you're

love with his mum.

Or your son you're in love with his best mate.

And you let it just drift off, eh?

I don't know.

Somebody's got to tell him.

Yeah. Well, you're his mum.

I still think it would be better coming from somebody who isn't involved.

Well, I'm not telling him.

I hardly know him.

Margaret.

You used to do this sort of thing, didn't you?

I'll tell him.

You? Well, I'm his boss, aren't I?

Mr Marquis, how nice of you to come.

Here.

Yeah, but I don't see too many windows here.

Well, that's precisely the point.

We've hired some window space in the arcade.

We intend to advertise this place.

We intend to make this establishment known throughout the land, like Caesar's

Palace, Ronnie Scott's, McDonald's. Trevor, we have lunch together, do you

reckon? Mr Crawford, this is Mr Marquardt, the window dresser, who will

handling the arcade show space.

Nice to meet you, Mr Marquardt.

Let's hope you can give us what we want.

Creatively, of course. We'll leave it to you.

Right.

Where are we going down, may I ask?

My office.

I've got a flat about a mile or so away.

We can go there to discuss prices, terms and so forth.

We couldn't go in your van, could we?

This isn't going to work, Ken. The kid's a cowboy.

Don't start.

He shafted Don Pettifer for a grand.

He shafted Harry for three meals and a job.

He shafted Jimmy Hargreaves, no doubt.

Charles Henry Markworth would be a walkover.

What is it? What's the matter? Oh, I've left my key in the office.

Well, maybe we'll rearrange the door. No, no, no, there's an extra one just

behind the door.

What, in here? Yeah.

It's half.

Right. Where?

About six inches down. Yeah.

No,

no, you bastard!

Is it?

Yeah, yeah!

Continue, sir, to deliver the beret.

Cup of coffee?

Charity ledger for 30 years.

But that was the biggest fake takings he'd had.

Bloody charity work.

Jeff Sadler.

Fight. Did they say fight?

Well, I think an anniversary dinner's a bloody good idea.

And I'll throw in the entertainment.

Don, why don't you and Gay provide the nosh?

Free. Yeah, it's okay if I ask, mate.

This is making me want to puke.

It really is.

I must have cooked over 4 ,000 hamburgers.

And drumsticks.

They were very popular.

We must remember that for next time.

Something to get hold of, you see.

Close it down.

What the bloody hell's all that?

It's a little extra crust you and I have made out of loaf, Harry.

There's nothing to look at that, Trevor. I mean, there must be... Stick it in

the safe.

Yeah, well...

That's very honest of you, giving me this.

I admire honesty.

Right.

And Ken and Margaret saw me with it anyway, so I couldn't have had it away.

Oh.

Hey, would you like to consider yourself as part of the furniture?

I mean, I'm sure we can come to a mutual agreement, you know, vis -a -vis

salary, as long as it's not too mutual. I'm sure we could.

Well, then, now, speaking as your elder, though not necessarily your better...

What's the problem, Harry?

No, no.

Well, it's about Roy.

What's wrong?

Well, there's nothing wrong. He's been found.

Is he all right?

Yes, he's fine.

It's just that, well, he and your mother have been... Well, they're getting

married.

Thank God for that.

What?

I said thank God it's out in the open.

I mean, they'd be worried sick wondering how to tell you.

And I've been worried sick about how to tell them I already know.

Oh, it's a funny old life, eh, Trev?

Mum, for the last time, I'm pleased for you, really, I am.

I'm pleased for you both.

You will ring if anything goes wrong in the flat. Now, promise me you will.

I've left the number on the table.

Just invite me to the wedding, that's all I ask.

You really did suspect all along?

Of course I did. I think I'm chilly or something.

So long, Mum.

So long, Dad.

Hey, Ken. Ken, what do you make of this?

What's that?

I don't know. Well, I mean, I do know. I mean, it's Trevor. Come on, have a

listen.

Here.

What's all that in Adolf? Well, I don't know, but my guess is it's his mum and

his best friend all at once. You know what I mean?

No, not Trevor.

Tough as an old boot, that one.

I thought.

There's nothing we can do about it, is there?

No, best leave him to it.

He'll get over it. Yeah?

I mean, he may not be an old lady wanting to cross the road, but, um...

seriously think we could leave him in there?

Can we?

No, you're right. Come on.

What am I going to do?

Come and have a drink.

We'll tell you.

We share our food.

We share our women. We share our money. We share our fun.

Whether we lose or win, it's just him and me. We're all extended.

He's my friend.

He's my buddy till the end.

Money, fly, fly, fly.