Original subtitles

Harry, sit down.

There's a gunman holding Ken and Harry upstairs.

For the past three years, I've been in and out of the house on the hill.

House on the hill?

I had a breakdown.

Oh, yeah, the marksman are here.

He's gonna be busy, busy, busy.

Tie him up. Terry, we know you're in there.

We know you have a gun.

And we know you have two male hostages.

Now, don't do anything silly. There's a good boy.

Come on, Terry. Everybody has bad times.

We just have to learn to take the knocks.

Are you saying I can't take the knocks?

Ken? Margaret.

Ken's been shot.

I think he's dead.

There's nothing like a reliable dispatcher.

What the hell's all this about, Terry?

Revenge, Ken.

Revenge.

For what?

That's for me to know and you to die wondering.

Right, let's see.

I think the girlfriend...

Debbie, she's gone. She's got married.

Debbie? Yeah, Debbie.

Thank God for that.

Oh, there.

What do you reckon?

Well, it's all right, I suppose.

Progress, that's what it is, Ken, progress.

Maybe for you.

I thought you was happy in Smethwick. I'm very happy in Smethwick.

Nice yard for the boys.

Yeah.

I still think you made a mistake selling the coaching inn. Oh, that's because I

put you out a bit, that's all. No, it's not. I just think you've taken on more

than you bargained for.

Why do you think it was so cheap?

Because it needs a facelift.

It's doing no business.

Oh, but it will, Ken, it will.

Because it's multi -purpose.

That's the beauty of it.

That was what was wrong with the coaching inn. It wasn't.

What? Multi -purpose.

Because it was a hotel.

Exactly. Hotels are for sleeping.

The plaza switch for everything.

Except sleeping.

Exactly. That's because it's not a hotel, is it?

Hello, Glynis.

Hello, Mr Boone. Are you feeling better?

Yeah, all right.

Like the barn here? Thank you.

How's it going?

I don't know.

Every relevant piece of information is stored in here, Ken.

Bookings, inquiries, confirmations, income, expenditure, you name it, it

at the touch of a button. A bloody wonderful arm, the Glynis. You want to

yourself one?

What, a computer or a Glynis? A computer.

You'll get Debbie to work it.

It's a bit difficult.

Well, if Glynnis could work it, anybody can. No, she's done a Lord Lucan.

A what?

Well, you know, a runner.

Ronnie Biggs?

Well, she's gone to Brazil.

No, you cloth.

She got shacked up with some geezer. Moved on.

I thought she liked Smeddick.

She did like Smeddick.

I always thought there was something unstable about that girl.

Hello, Ken. Nice to see you again. You're feeling better? Yeah, fine,

Didn't recognise you.

That's a new image.

Actually, I had an anti -convoluted in Bournemouth. But it was really nice.

Quiet, but nice.

It was only a varicose vein of mine. It's not like she'd been shot or

Bournemouth was nice. Linda. Isn't that lovely Miss Daly? Do you still see her?

Linda. Yes, Mr Crawford?

You asked for me to tell me, didn't you?

Oh, there's a Mr Richard J.

Coming to see you in 15 minutes.

He wants to book the ballroom.

There you are, Ken. Started already.

Nice to see you, Ken.

You've not been in touch with Margaret, then?

I'll leave you to it, Harry.

You see, Jimmy, can you spare the price of a company?

What? Tea.

I could do with a cup of tea, Jimmy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I said I can't. I'm not a bloody devil.

Okay, bye. Just the one, is it? Just the one. The address is on it. This is to

go to. Same place.

What, separate invoices?

No, put it on with that one. Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure. You just ride the bikes, all right?

Pascal and Papa's promotion's going to help you.

Listen, uh, tomorrow you're coming in at 12.

Good.

Yes.

This is just what I want.

Well, hey, Mr. J. Let me get you a booking form and I'll list the current

charges. No need. No trouble.

Well, actually, you see, I don't want to have to pay.

Oh, no, go on, follow.

I organise charity nights, and I was wondering if you might consider me using

this rather splendid ballroom free of charge.

Well, yes, I'm furious for a very worthy cause.

You see, you never can do enough.

But the fact is, Mr J... Oh, Richard, please, call me Richard.

Oh, Richard, the fact is that at this moment in time, I can't afford to take

something for nothing.

Who's asking you to?

Well, I thought you said you wanted me to let you have the plaza suite for

nothing. I did.

At the same time, you'll make a nice tidy profit and enough publicity to put

firmly on the map.

Hey.

Have you got a calculator?

Well, no. We've got a computer, always.

Even better. Show me the keyboard. I'll explain all.

The information was only known to four people. Myself and three of my senior

management team.

I see.

I've had victim friends for years. I can't believe they're the source of the

leak.

What are you doing with that?

Checking your security.

That's what I'm being paid for.

And you personally passed the information on to the other three here

room? I did.

It's become a little habit of mine working out while I have me... Very

You've had the equipment long?

Three or four years.

And nothing's been added to it?

It was all installed at the same time.

All except this, that is.

Gives my pulse rate.

Mine's very low.

How long have you had that?

Ever since I took up meditation.

I meant the apparatus.

A couple of weeks.

It was given to me.

Oh? By an instruments company.

They want me to buy something naturally.

Time was when they gave you a crate of scotch at Christmas.

Now it's all health and fitness.

Much better for you, of course. They're not so much fun.

I hope you know what you're doing.

So do I.

Do you know what this is, Mr. Hillary?

Well, it was part of my pulse tester, wasn't it?

It's a transmitter.

The source of your leak.

Oh, by the way, I had a word with Matthew Kelly.

Said he'd be more than happy to host the gala.

Oh, good.

Right, right.

You've been on telly, I think. It's never off.

Mega is Matthew.

Mega. Yeah, but what'll he charge? Nothing, Harry. It's a charity do. We'll

it for nothing.

Oh, I don't know.

Well, I'm not going to say any more, Harry, because if you don't fancy it, I

know a lot of places that do.

So why come to me, anyway?

Size, Harry.

Simple fact of size.

You see, most places are small club -type venues. The Plaza Suite is size.

We're talking big money here.

Oh.

See that, Harry?

Income, 32 and a half grand.

But this is the bit that counts, Harry.

10 % of 15 grand for a night's work. Not bad in anybody's book.

And that's only the beginning, Harry.

So, um, this Jay Blake, he works for charity, doesn't he? No, no, no, no, no,

no.

How much is he getting out of it?

Not a lot.

Well, what's not a lot? Well, his overheads.

Ten percent of the profits.

So for every hundred quid he gets a tenner?

Why don't we get five quid each?

That's very reasonable.

Well, of course, there's added little bonuses.

What such as?

The food, the wine, the cabaret.

I don't follow.

Well, they all go into the budget at a certain price, but they don't really

as much as we say they do.

That is the lousiest thing I've ever heard.

A normal commercial profit.

It's cheating.

Oh, come on, Ken. I mean, I'm not charging for this place.

The heating, the lighting, the stuff. Cheating homeless people.

It's perfectly legal.

Dishonest. Oh, come on, Ken.

I mean, the charity stands to make about 14 ,000 pounds out of this.

And how much are you and Jay making out of it?

Well, I can't say for Richard, but I might make about eight grand.

8 ,000 quid.

Not including a raffle?

It's bloody disgusting.

Oh, come on, Ken.

I mean, the charity's going to make a lot of money.

The punters are getting a great night out and being seen doing the right

It's 50 quid well spent. That's not the point.

Of course it's the point!

You are thieving money off people who've given money for homeless people.

Thieving.

Thieving, now be careful.

I'm off.

On your condition, I'll get a taxi.

Look, Ken, about this girl, it's a charity girl. Listen, it's so not fair.

Yeah, all right. Go on, it'll all seem different in the morning when you're

sober.

Well, Mr Hillary, Jonathan, that's very kind of you, but it's not entirely

necessary. No, it's all part of the service.

Excuse me, are you all right? You sound very odd.

I'm fine.

I just thought it'd be a nice way of showing my appreciation.

It's a charity gala, you see.

You never know, you might meet someone glamorous and exciting.

Oh, really? And what about you?

I'm going with someone glamorous and exciting.

Well, I don't know what to say, except thank you very much. I'll be delighted

accept.

Mum, did you get that message from... Sorry, where?

Oh, the plaza suite. Oh, that's funny. I know the new owner there. Yeah.

Well, I look forward to it very much.

Thank you. Bye, Jonathan.

Jo, how many times have I told you I'm using this as an office during office

hours? Please don't come barging in here.

Sorry. I just didn't think you got that message.

What message?

From Ken Boone. He rang when you were out.

He wanted to know if you could meet him for lunch. What?

It's there, look.

You said no, I hope.

Yes. Good. But then he was so insistent, so I said yes.

What?

You hear what I'm saying? Spare. I'm saying it's not our fault.

Yeah, well, whose fault is it? You tell me that, eh? Whose fault is it? Not

ours. Tamara, whose fault is it? Whose fault is it that our main competitive

have ripped off the entire promotion right down to the sodding slogan, if

was human, this one would wear my ring? Whose fault, eh?

Scary.

Laces.

Six months of hard work, leaked epoxy laces.

Well, we might as well kiss goodbye to the client.

Spoken to them. Well, of course I've spoken to them.

Texas Rangers?

Hang on.

All right.

There you are.

If you could just put your mark down there.

Lacey's, of course! Who do you think?

They've even got our free recoker.

Oh, it's great, that recoker, you know. Brill.

Hello.

Who's that?

It's a dispatch firm. We always use them.

What? On this account?

It's Mr Paschal.

What, the artwork, everything?

We always do.

Are you telling me that all the stuff we've worked on for the last six months,

in secret, is then handed over to complete strangers?

You could put it that way, I suppose, yeah.

Christ. Oh, come on, Jenny, the bike firm. Be sensible.

What do you think?

I can vouch for everyone here. Can you vouch for them?

I think you're overreacting here. Oh, do you?

How did they get out of the re -corker, then?

All right, all right.

We'll use someone else. It's easy.

Oh, just sack them.

That was £200 ,000 worth of time and effort, and I'll tell you what, if I

out they're responsible for this, I shall feed them their bikes, bit by

bit.

Yeah, I'll have that one, look.

Expensive but special.

Hello. Long time.

No see.

Is this all right for you, or would you prefer something else?

No, no.

Fine. Thank you.

Well... Cheers.

Cheers.

So, are we a keeping spectre yet?

Didn't you know?

No. Thanks.

I quit.

Why?

I was facing disciplinary action.

You? What have you done?

Well, I went barging into the coaching inn when you were shot.

So?

That's endangering your life, my life, and the lives of the public and my

colleagues. Well, you only did it because you were... Ken, if it hadn't

that, it would have been something else. It just wasn't working out.

No, I'm a security consultant now.

It's my own business.

So I'm talking to a successful businesswoman, eh?

Well, I've made a start.

At least I'm my own boss.

And you, are you all right?

Yeah.

I get the odd dream.

I phoned you, you know, when I came out of hospital.

I thought you might. No reply.

I'd gone away.

I left messages.

I know.

And I wrote.

I'm sorry.

Twice.

Ken.

I just wanted to see you.

I didn't think it was a good idea.

Shall we order?

No, not yet.

I thought I saw you the other day going into an office block.

Might have been.

It's nice to see you.

It's good to see you too.

Why didn't you visit me in hospital?

I did.

Three times.

When I was conscious.

I think we should order.

So, we'll see you Monday night then, Matt.

Like a car to pick you up.

No, no, I'll drive myself. About seven o 'clock, all right? Oh, perfect.

Mega, Richard, mega.

Mega, Richard, mega.

Drive safely, Matt. Yeah, bye.

Cheers.

I knew he'd do the business.

Put bums on seats, as we say.

Bloody mega is Matt.

Bloody mega.

We've only got a hundred or so left to fill.

Full house coming up.

I have a feeling this could be the start of something very special, Harry. Oh,

it's going to be a good night, isn't it?

Now, on a broad -gauge basis.

What?

Now, bye -bye.

Bye.

We can make it a regular feature of the Plaza Suite.

Once a month is charity night.

We'll even run a little bit in the papers. The public gets to vote for

charity's going to benefit.

You've got the venues, I've got the contacts.

It's sure fire.

Yeah? Think of the publicity it'll give this place.

Charity for all occasions.

Do you know, Harry?

I've waited ten years to meet someone like you.

Now I have.

The sky's the limit.

I was wondering, do you know we budgeted for £4 a head?

Well, I can do it for two.

Is there a problem?

No, not really.

I've got to check it out because they're all in the same ring, mate.

Right. It's OK, though.

I can do you a very tasty chicken chasseur for under a pound a portion.

Harry, let's do this thing properly.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Everything. Bacon, button mushrooms... Give them smoked salmon.

What? And beef wellington.

Have you any idea how much... Be generous, Harry, and so will they. Oh,

know, but beef wellington... It's for charity, Harry.

That's what counts.

All right, Jimmy, you all right?

Yeah, all right.

That's good, Jimmy.

That's good.

Bet you want a cup of tea, eh?

That's bloody amazing.

Read minds, do you?

Cos that is what I was thinking. That is just what I was thinking.

Here, don't spend it all at once.

I'll do my best.

You're a good man, Jimmy.

Ken. Aye, aye, Ken, you're a good man. No, that's my name, Ken.

That's nice, that, Ken.

That's a nice name. I won't forget your name in a hurry, Jimmy.

Package room, focus.

Just this one.

Yeah, and there's this for you.

For delivery?

No, for you. We're going to be using another firm from now on. What?

Yeah, that portion of yours will be anything.

I want to be drinking new by about 12 o 'clock. Hey, excuse me.

Yes. Do you know anything about this?

Texas Rangers.

That's right.

Then I do.

What's it all about? We've always given you good service, haven't we? I don't

have to give you a reason. I know you don't. I'd like one. It's my company.

All right.

Certain documents which your company has been handling have fallen into the

wrong hands.

Are you saying we've let other people have our butchers at your stuff? I'm not

saying anything.

What I'm saying is that from now on we should be using a different dispatch

company. So will lots of other people when this gets around. Tell me.

Wait a minute.

If you start... Not if.

When? Sorry, mate. Hard world is advertising.

for you.

Take this ranger.

Okay, two to go and one to pick up. And Mr.

Langford would like to see you. Just wait there.

Who's he?

A managing director.

Oh.

Oh.

I've got a proposition for you. Something a bit special.

A Beaujolais nouveau run.

Oh, well, we ought to do England -like on account of the fact that Kenneth

hasn't got a passport.

Sorry.

No, no, you don't understand.

We've got a race on with another advertising agency.

And I want you to pick up a bottle from an airfield and take it to a restaurant.

On your bike.

Oh, well, I don't know about that.

Why not?

Well, see, Ken doesn't encourage racing.

Then don't tell him.

Take them all in off.

Call in sick.

Well, I'd have to think about it. Do, do. And while you're thinking, think

an extra 50 quid in it for you.

And another 200 if we win.

Charity for all.

is the name we'd like to trade under. But it's not going to be a registered

charity? Not at the moment.

It's a business.

Oh. We'll make money for people who need it. It's worthwhile, certainly. But it

is a business.

Exactly.

Well, you're an established client, Mr Crawford.

The bank will be happy to facilitate your partnership.

Just like I said, Hal.

So, what are we talking about here?

I mean, how much each do you reckon we ought to put in?

Well, I put in 5 ,000.

Five? You don't put in anything.

Don't I?

The Plaza Suite can hardly run away, can it?

That's your contribution.

Oh, yes, but 5 ,000.

Think big, Hal.

But what do we need it for?

I've a feeling, Harry, that this partnership is going to be the start of

something very special.

Together, you, me and the Plaza Suite are going to make a lot of money for Mr

Cunningham's bank here.

And for the charities.

Definitely the charities.

Miss Daly, what is the price?

We were only talking about you the other day. Hello, Linda.

Mr Crawford's out, I'm afraid.

It doesn't matter. I've only come to collect some tickets.

Linux is in the office.

What's

up

with you?

Pascal and Piper have given us the boot.

What for?

They reckon we're giving away their precious advertising secrets to another

company. But we don't do that sort of thing. Of course we don't. Hey, Kenneth,

if this gets out, no -one will employ us.

Gladys, make sure the reserve notices go on the right table.

There are certain people I want keeping away from the rip -off. Yes, Mr

Crawford. You remember the table, Mr Crawford. Make sure Miss Daly gets a

one. Well, is Margaret coming?

Everything going according to plan, Harry?

Like clockwork.

Dances look good. Yeah, not at all. I popped in at the bank the other way.

got the agreement form we need to sign.

I still don't know why we need your part, though.

Well, contingency, Harry. Listen.

Let's just put our crosses where they count and sit back and sip the

I'll get this back to the bank straight away.

The sooner the better, Harry.

Glynis? Cupid?

Get Ken on that telephone, will you? Ask him if he'd like a couple of tickets

for the gala tonight.

Ken Burns?

Well, I don't know any other Ken.

But I thought you and... Don't worry about that, Glennis. When he knows who's

going to be here, he'll come straight away. You mark my words.

Oh.

Hey, Rock.

Guess who that was?

Go on.

Glennis. Huh?

What's he want?

Well, it's Harry.

He's invited you and me down to this charity gala at the Plaza Suite.

As his guests.

I thought you said that guy was a cheat.

I did.

I thought you said that you weren't going to have anything to do with it. I

But I thought you reckoned... Rocky, shut up.

Follow me.

Other side.

Look.

My wife.

It's a great pleasure. Hope you have a wonderful evening.

Call for charity.

Bloody

hell.

Hello, Harry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Good luck, girls.

Thank you.

No

question,

they are the same person.

Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman are one and the same.

Have you ever seen them in the same photograph?

No. Or the same film?

Yes.

Godfather Part II, Pacino and De Niro.

Flashbacks. Never in the same scene. Damn clever, you know. Three times the

income, one tax return.

Now, that's what you should be investigating, not taking apart old

you're right.

Maybe. I want to thank you for what you've done for my business.

I was only doing what I was paid to.

Are you married?

Yes.

And no.

My wife and I have an arrangement.

We've nothing in common.

She's well provided for, and I run my affairs as I see fit.

I see.

Do you?

I'm beginning to.

Ah, how's it going, Mac?

Fine, fine.

Did you run in order, Scorch? Yeah, I think so. Is somebody going to excuse

Hmm, Harry.

Me? Well, that's the law. Yeah, just a straight intro, do I?

Yes, just a straight intro.

Right.

Just a straight one.

Just get out of my house, will you? Get out.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

It's a great thrill for me, Harry Crawford, to see you all here tonight.

I can assure you we have a wonderful evening's entertainment lined up for

But enough from me.

It's my great pleasure to introduce to you tonight's host, Mr. Matthew

Kelly.

He's on the telly. I'll send you in front of him. Thank you. Thank you.

And thank you, Harry, for that marvellously spontaneous introduction.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first act you saw tonight were the delightful calendar

girl dancers. But how can we possibly follow that? I hear you cry. Well,

and gentlemen, tonight we have a treat in store for you. We have a singer who I

know you all love.

It is, of course, the one and only Cliff Ryan.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is a little number that's been good to me.

I'm sure you're going to recognise it.

Thank you, boys.

I'm coming home, I've done my time.

There's no going for a leak.

Oi, will you ask Gary if he's got any white snake?

He's got some wine here. No, no, white snake.

Hello, Ken.

Hi. Harry told me you were here.

Well, it wasn't a secret.

Jonathan Hillary.

Jonathan Ken Boone.

Oh, Boone?

Hello, Hillary.

Good evening.

You didn't tell me you were coming.

I wasn't aware I had to.

Perhaps we'll have a drink later, eh?

Yeah, yeah, fine.

If you'll excuse me.

Going well, isn't it?

You all right, Ken?

Yeah, I'm all right.

You glad you came?

Did you know she was bringing somebody?

Well, no, I knew she was coming, that's all. I mean, I didn't know she'd have

some bloke in tow.

No point in asking me, was there? Well, I didn't know what I asked you, did I?

Anyway, is it time we stopped all this?

All what?

Well, you don't call her and then you get upset when she sees somebody else.

You're being a bit childish, aren't we, Kenny? I don't think so.

You're too proud, mate, that's your trouble.

I have seen her, actually. I took her out to lunch for your information.

Oh.

I told her, now you're cheating this charity out of God knows what.

You know what you'll get with anyone, Marty? All of us.

Harry? Why do you sound like a wicker? Yeah, you sound like a money game, so

you've turned out to be. Oh, is that so?

Yes, that is so.

Well, what do you think they're eating out there, eh? Scotch mist?

That's smoked salmon and birth bleed in Wellington, that is, mate. It's not the

food, Harry.

You've pulled some strokes in your time, but this takes the biscuit. Oh, bloody

hell, Peter, bloody perfect.

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing

out of fear.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Yeah, I get high with a little help from my friends.

Oh, I'm gonna cry with a little help from my friends.

So how are things at Pascal and Piper's?

Panicky, to say the least.

Got over losing their best client?

They haven't lost them yet.

Jerry's hanging on for grim death.

He's even taken them to the restaurant this lunchtime.

Some people never learn.

He's hoping they'll be impressed if he wins the Beaujolais Nouveau race.

Strange animals, the clients.

They won't win, though.

John's Porsche is a bit tasty.

So am I.

They don't suspect you, do they? Of course they don't. They think it's the

dispatch company.

Oh, yes, that reminds me.

I really must give them the old heave -ho.

What for?

Well, the word's gone around, hasn't it?

They're unreliable and dishonest.

So?

Give me the Texas Rangers, will you?

We agencies really must stick together.

Well, that's about it. Maybe a few quid outstanding, that's all.

A good night's work.

Yeah. Looks to be an enterprise businessman of the year, eh?

Look, I'd better start paying some of these bills. Get it all in the computer.

Then we'll know exactly what we're worth.

Electrician's not finished yet. Nearly there, Mr Crawford. Nearly there.

Right, come on, Harry.

I sometimes wonder if these blokes really know what they're doing.

There goes another contract.

Oh, what?

Who's it this time?

Lacey's, the other advertising company.

Hey, I'm meant to be... What?

Oh, nothing.

Well, I don't see what we can do about it. These advertising agencies are hand

in glove.

If only we could find out who is ripping them off.

Oh, I don't see how we can do that.

I mean, the best thing, really, is to show them that we're the business. You

know, number one dispatch riders in Birmingham.

I don't see how we're going to do that since they all sacked us.

Oh, I don't know, Ken.

Fate's a funny thing.

I mean, it deals with the cards, and when you think you've got a bad hand,

of a sudden you've got a handful of trumps.

You've been drinking?

Hello, Ken.

Oh, great.

Right, um, I'll be off then.

You what?

Well, you said I could have the morning off.

My gran's funeral.

We're going dressed like that?

Yeah. To a funeral?

Oh, she was a keen biker, my gran.

Have a nice day.

Where are you going, Rob?

Um, I'm going to, uh...

I don't know. I don't know. And you've got to be there in half an hour.

Thought I'd come and see the new office.

Well, it's hardly new.

We've been here quite a while.

Don't start, Ken.

I'm not starting anything.

I kept away because I needed some time for myself.

Leaving the force, starting the business.

There wasn't really enough to go around.

I see.

I am sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

About the other night.

He's a client.

Who is?

The man I was with at the gala. I look after his security.

He was taking me out as a thank you.

Is that all?

Oh, I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business.

How about me inviting you out for lunch sometime?

By way of a thank you.

Maybe you say yes.

Thank you for what?

I don't know.

I'd think of something.

How are you fixed today?

Difficult.

Never mind.

Why don't you give me a ring later in the week?

Yeah.

Yeah, all right, I will.

I thought you were a thriving concern.

Well, we were, until some firm decided we were selling their precious ideas to

the competition.

Sounds like the sort of thing I'd get involved with.

We got the elbow from another company this morning.

No reason whatsoever.

I thought you were big enough to sort those sort of problems out yourself.

Well... Well, if I remember rightly, you were a dab hand at it when you were at

the coaching inn.

I'm getting old, love.

No, you're getting indulgent.

Yeah. I suppose I ought to sort it out with them.

Hmm.

Is this the best you can do?

Our top men came up with that. It's great.

It's insipid.

Look, I'll see you in the restaurant at lunchtime, all right?

Yeah, all right.

Hey, you're getting them for nothing.

No, I'm not.

I'm giving you a partnership in a new advertising agency.

Oh, yeah, and I'm bloody worth it.

Come in.

What do you want? The address.

No -one give me the address. I don't know where the airfield is.

You what?

Dixie!

Dixie!

Dixie!

Oh, Dixie's not here this morning, Mr Langford. I'm standing in for her. Where

the hell is she?

She's gone to the airfield. Oh, that's where I'm meant to be.

Give him the address.

Don't worry, Mr Langford, Texas Rangers won't let you down, mate, I promise.

Right, well...

Did he recognize you?

You what?

I thought you weren't going to make it. No, I just didn't have the address.

You know which restaurant to go to, don't you? Oh, yeah, that's all in here

well. What's he doing here?

Well, he's our messenger.

We'll all be competing again.

That ain't fair. He's got a motorbike.

He could always trade in a Porsche.

Texas Rangers.

You're on history, mate.

History. Oi.

That's not very nice, is it?

Yeah, well, here's the competition from Pascal and Piper.

Whatever you do, you've got to beat him.

Hey, listen, if we do win, do you think Lices will use Texas Rangers again?

Oh, if you win, you can have anything.

Anything?

Yeah, well, win first.

And don't worry.

You'll have a head start on him.

Oh?

Oh, you'll see.

Texas Rangers?

Yes, you've just missed him.

Have I?

Yeah. He's gone to pick up the Beaujolais Nouveau from the airfield.

Who was?

Your rider.

Tall, long black hair.

Bit dishy.

Rocky. Oh, no.

Rather fine features.

I reckon he'll be at the restaurant in about half an hour. What restaurant?

Uh, Arthur's Bar.

Wish I could go see a wincery.

They're all there except for me.

Yeah, okay. Thanks, Bob. Thanks.

Granny's bloody funeral.

Damn.

I think that's the competition then. Yeah.

Well, where's our plane?

Doesn't matter.

Landing. What's this?

Beaujolais Nouveau.

Our plane hasn't even landed.

So, this year, Le Nouveau is arrivé bitterly.

What do you mean?

Old wine, new label. Now go.

Hey, that's cheating, isn't it? No, it's not.

Now go.

You seen Richard anywhere?

No, Mr Crawford. He left a little while ago.

You say where he was going? The bank. Pay those checks in. Right.

Mr Crawford? I don't know. I thought we paid your electrician. Mr Crawford, my

name is Jeremy Martin and I'm from Martin at Large. What? And I'd like to

you a few questions about the charity... I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what you're talking about. And the thousands of pounds you cheated

from the Birmingham homeless.

You're telling me that all the profits from the charity night actually went to

the homeless?

Do you see, Harry? Do you mind turning that thing off, please? What about your

own accounts, Mr Crawford? What do you mean, my accounts?

Your own accounts printed from your computer.

Hey, where did you get that from? It's private property, that is. They say that

£8 ,000 was to be paid to your cabaret performers.

We spoke to the singer Cliff Ryan. He got £300.

The dancer's £200, cash in hand.

So where's the other £7 ,500?

I don't know. That's nothing to do with me. Then how about the way you and Mr J

split the profit for that evening?

10 % went to the homeless and 90 % went to yourselves.

No, no, it was the other way around.

We were the ones to get the £1 ,500. Then why has the charity received a

only for £1 ,520?

I swear I know nothing about this. I don't believe you, Mr Crawford. Well, I

don't care whether you believe me or not. As far as I'm concerned, the money

used to be paid to the homeless in Birmingham. But where's the money now?

In the bank!

Vinnie!

Get me Mr Cunningham on the phone.

He'll tell you the money's still intact.

And bring me the checkbook. I'll sign a check here and now.

I bet you won't show this bit on your telly. No.

No.

I am talking to you.

Look, not now, right? I don't like my riders being used in hooray Henry races.

Tomorrow. Come and see me tomorrow.

Excuse me.

What? What's the matter?

It's for them over there.

For laces?

Exactly. Yeah, well, your laces.

At least you were this morning, eh?

No, I wasn't.

Oh, yes, you were. With him.

Tommy, do you mind explaining? I don't know what he's talking about.

I think I do.

Oh, uh,

hello, Ken.

Don't give me that hello, Ken.

Tommy.

What are you talking about? There's got to be more than £48 in the account.

Yes, £48 and 7p.

Yes, all right, £48 and 7p.

There should be at least £30 ,000 in there.

He's cleared the account, Mr Crawford.

What?

He's cleared the account.

It's a joint account. He is allowed to.

Tommy, what were you doing in Lacey's this morning?

I want an explanation.

It wasn't us that was flogging your precious ideas. It was one of your own

wasn't it?

Don't look at me.

I don't know anything about that sort of thing.

It's against the law.

You what?

I didn't know the ideas you were giving us belonged to the company.

I thought you were trying to do a bit of freelancing on the side.

You bastard.

He was paying me to rip you off.

He was?

Well, Peter, how do you want to settle?

In or out of court?

In. And the 5 ,000 you just lost on the nouveau race will pay for it.

Thank you very much. Um, it's not Beaujolais Nouveau.

Just think of the money, son.

No, you see, because they swapped the labels.

I mean, I was well away before the plane even touched down.

Can I get you anything, Mr Crawford?

Yes, Glynis, get me Ken.

And Margaret, quickly.

Right.

I wasn't going to do it, Ken, but when we lost the account, I just thought it'd

be a way of winning it back.

I don't want it back.

You'd better pay me a compensation.

I'll see you in... Ken?

Are you there, Ken?

Mr. Ken? Can you hear me, Ken?

Hello, Ken, the place.

Hello, Mum.

Any chance of coming to eat, eh?

Eat? Oh, you aren't.

Terrible? Where have you been?

Trainsing off round the country and that's only a week on the road. Work,

work. You know what it's like. Yeah, work.

Go on, pull the other one.

All right, then. I shan't say any more. Now, close your eyes.

Do what? Go on, close your eyes.

Don't say I don't ever do anything for you. Now, come around here. I've got

something to show you.

Not bad, eh?

It's yours, Mum.

Oh, God.

Oh, where did you get me?

Good odds, Mum. Good odds.

I wish your dad had been half as lucky as you, son. I really do.

Well, you need a system. One that works.

Listen, I want to borrow it for a couple of days. When I get back, it's all

yours. Okay.

Bye, Mum.

I'd just like to say that it's never been my intention to deceive anybody.

But what are you going to do about it?

Well, I'll make sure that... Well, whatever happens, the homeless will get

money that was raised for them on the gardenite. How?

Oh... Yes?

I'll pay it myself if I have to.

He's my friend.

He's my friend. He's my buddy till the end. Truth again says...

We'll see you next

time.