All language subtitles for Boon s02e03 Day Of The Yokel

FUN FACT!

Take your heart rate.

Now, it should be about 115.

At least that's what I reckon it should
be anyway.

Just... Why don't you come with us to
sit down a bit?

We've lost.

What?

Wait, love.

I'll be falling off you.

Do that every day for a month. You'll be
a shadow.

A month?

Stuff the hair.

You've managed to avail yourself of the
hospitality.

No,

what we specialise in, you see, is land
rescue.

I mean, take this moat farm.

I mean, what is it?

But a small, far and forgotten rubbish.

It's a damn disgrace, Mr Keane.

If this were an inner city, that land
would be smacked up immediately and

recycled.

But out here, it's of no use to
agriculture.

It's too large for the market gardener.
No.

Our business logic is this.

Either local residents want 400
matchboxes stuck on their doorstep in

years' time, which will lower prices all
round, or they want a dozen luxury

dwellings, which they'll hardly notice,
and which will raise house prices in the

area.

Mr Rathbone.

Oh, no, no, no. Partners to live.

Call me Richard.

You're Auntie Irene. Any news?

Yeah, well, I'm afraid she doesn't want
to budge.

I thought you said you could offer her
alternative accommodation at your house.

What's the vernacular?

Granny flat.

Yeah.

Well, her and my wife, they don't see
eye to eye.

Not really.

You're not telling me that women rule
your life, are you, old boy? No, no, no.

It's just that...

She's been living at Moat Farm for close
on 40 years.

A bit difficult to suddenly, well, chuck
it.

But you... It does belong to you, and
you did promise. No, I didn't promise.

You promised.

How terribly secondary modern of you to
go back on your word.

Well, I'll try.

That's the ticket.

You show that wife of yours who wears
the trousers.

OK.

Morning, Miss Mapplethorpe.

What can we do for you this time? I want
to keep Michelson now.

Really? What for, love?

They've killed one of my sheep, that's
what. Mr Michelson's at the coaching

Now, hang about, Irene.

Now, Rathbone himself has offered me
stock in the Enterprise, Ken, at a very

knock -down price, I can tell you.

And I think we should take it. We?

Well, it's time you had a portfolio,
Ken.

Ned. So how about coming in with me for
a piece of the action?

No money, Harry. We're not talking about
a fortune, Ken. We're talking about

500. That's 250 each. Now, what do you
say?

I say I'll think about it.

You see, these are the designs we'll be
having great success with.

And you have to admit, they do look
rather fun, don't they?

Yes, but this, Moat Farm.

I mean, I know Irene Mablethorpe.

She's never sold the place, surely.

My dear lady, you don't think that we
build houses on land that doesn't belong

to us, do you?

Can I help at all, madam? I want my
coffin.

Sorry, madam.

What the fadoo on here, isn't there?

Through the door into the function room,
madam.

Oh, clumsy.

Excellent spread, Mr Crawford.

Simply excellent.

Oh, nice to hear from a satisfied
customer.

That old lady by the door there, she
looks a bit out of place.

There you are.

Hello, Irene.

Word has it you're thinking of selling
out at long last.

Why aren't you working?

There are people being hounded out
there, and all you can do is stuff

Can I help at all, though?

Harry, this is Irene Mablethorpe, an old
friend of mine.

I commend her left up to you. Oh, I give
it to him enough. I did it with a kid.

And he was a lazy little sod even then.

I'm being victimised.

Oh, dear.

Well, come and tell us about it
tomorrow.

What comes tomorrow?

Dead sheep fouling me water. That's what
I've had today.

Harry, get this old child out of here. I
heard that, Sir Michaelton.

Oh, if your father was alive, he'd turn
your arse.

Just get her out.

But if charm doesn't work, mate, you
could always try carrying her.

Don't you touch me!

Madam, please, this way.

Madam, madam, will you please, please,
please... Right, all right, so you're

stronger than me. What does that prove?

Well, not a lot, I'll admit.

You finally spoke to me.

Yeah.

What chapter are you from, then, love?

Hey. Hell's Angels?

Give me a drink.

Absolutely no.

Now, go on. On your bike.

Oh, come on, Harry.

Surely you can stretch to a drink.

Whiskey.

That, then? Yeah.

How about it?

Well, you don't have any, please.

Deirdre, when we agreed you needed a new
car, I thought you meant another

biscuit tin with a wheel in each corner.

Come on, Phil, I'm 40.

What's that got to do with anything?

It was a bargain, was it?

It's all right, lover. Squirt it with
the bank first.

Mr Groves is ever so helpful. I told him
about Irene moving off the farm and how

we're selling it.

Deirdre, suppose she don't want to go?

No. You're such a pessimist and don't
snap.

Of course she'll go. She's getting
incapable.

Of farming, maybe.

Not of arguing the tots.

We'll soon see about that. Look, we'll
nip home, have a quick bite to eat, and

then we'll have a word with her. And I
want you to lose your temper if

necessary.

out. Where from?

Well, that shed over there.

Either that or someone's let the door
open.

Me, you mean?

No, no, no.

Yep, yep, yep.

Come on.

Come on, Cal.

Into us.

Hey, come on. Yep, yep, yep.

Well, he could have fallen in, couldn't
he?

Look, they may be daft, they're not
suicidal.

Not even living with you, sweetheart.

Here you go, Irene.

Safe and sound.

Now, where's this sheep?

Oh, this place must be worth a fortune.

Why is it when people visit other
people, how do they always put a price

them? Just taking the obvious.

Sorry.

Oh, well, the house isn't mine at any
rate.

Whose is it, then?

Nephew's.

Maybe you know him.

Philip Langebury.

He's the one, you know.

What do you mean, the one?

The one who wants me out of here.

He's the one that murdered my sheep just
to frighten me.

Why would he do a thing like that?

Money. Oh, he's a greedy little sod.

And I've got an arrangement.

I've got this place till I die.

You plan to outlive him, don't you?

Oh,

you can have that, if you like.

No. Oh, go on.

Go on, take it. It's no good to me.

No.

Yeah, and thank you. Thanks a lot.

Yeah, that looked nice over my
mantelpiece.

Do you take sugar in your tea?

No, I'm slimming.

Oh, you better take sugar. You've got
work to do.

Have I?

Who would have guessed that?

This is what you call aerobic,

Irene.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you will tell me, won't you, when
it's deep enough?

Eh?

Why couldn't we just take it down a vet
and bung it in the incinerator?

Cops!

I had a chap just like you once.

Yeah?

Killed in Palestine, 1947.

A little bit of a pot and all.

Best of us have.

Are you sure it's a sheep we're going to
bury?

Or a bleeding giraffe?

All them do.

I think you've got visibility.

I want to know something, and I want to
know it right now.

Have you thought any more about coming
to live with us?

Yeah.

Give me a nightmare.

Look, be reasonable.

You're not as young as you were.

You neither.

Auntie, what Deirdre means is that... I
know what Deirdre means, that I'm

sitting on the fortune and she wants me
of it.

Auntie, that's not the point.

We're trying to help you.

Perhaps you could try and find out who
drowned this old girl, then.

Who are you?

Ken Boone.

You could also find out who let them
cows out.

It's none of your business, actually.

This is an old woman, alone, losing her
marbles.

Riding around on a moped at her age, for
God's sake.

Which is a liability.

You don't want to help her, do you,
Phil?

Don't stand for that, Phil. He's just a
common labourer. I can handle myself,

it's all right. I'll bet you can. Sam,
how much does a fool cost these days?

It's quite simple, love.

She doesn't want to come and live with
you.

She likes rubbish, she likes old sheep,
she likes dry cows.

That's her business.

You'll find yourself a new friend,
aren't you?

Looks like it.

Push off, you.

Could have punched him on the nose
instead of all that talking.

Yeah, next time.

Yes. Ken Booth?

Yeah. This is Irene Mastlethorpe. Who?

Oh, you know. You buried my sheep
yesterday, you remember?

Yes, yes, of course I remember.

There's been some more developments.

What do you mean, more developments?
Now, listen to me.

I didn't give you that picture for
nothing, young man. Now, you just mind

manners and get over here, sharpish.

Come on, now, stand still.

Seven o 'clock in the morning.

I can't stop. I'll warm down if I do.

Come on, Kent. Rude way.

Why is everybody trying to kill me?

Kill you?

I'm saving your life.

Five minutes. Chop, chop.

All right, all right.

Morning, Mr Crawford.

Andy's got flu.

At the kitchen porter.

I mean, otherwise, you know, I would...
Oh.

Poor Andy.

Dinner tonight, gentlemen, as my guests.

Very kind of you, but actually we'll be
dining out.

Mr Crawford, another room.

Sorry?

Mr Blackwater's coming down tonight.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Morning, Harry.

Looking for your dinner.

Gentlemen, this is Mr Boone, an old
friend of mine from the brigade. How do

do? Again, this is Mr Keane and Mr
Rathbone of Rathbone, Keane and

Oh, this is Debbie.

Come on, love. I'm freezing here.

When he's 90, Mr. Boone will be the sort
of old boy people call a character.

Mr. Crawford, do you shoot?

What?

Guns. Oh, yes.

Yes, I have been known.

Splendid. Mr.

Keane has organised a select... A select
little what shall we call it?

Gangbang.

Sir William from Calstow House.

And a few others, perhaps.

Till this afternoon, then.

What, Sir William?

Well, yeah, thank you very much.

Listen, if I said to you, could you find
out all you care about a development

property, do you think you could handle
it?

Sure. What's the problem?

Well, you know all this money you lot
have been making for me. I was thinking

investing it in a small business scheme.

Only, I think they pong a bit.

What's the names?

It's Rathbone, Keane and Blackwater.

Those two you've just met. Hey, where do
you think you're going?

I'm going to see a new friend. Catch you
later.

Oh, you took your time, didn't you?

Yeah, maybe.

What are you doing? Going in for trout
farming?

Somebody left it on, didn't they?

Not you?

Of course not me.

Such a waste, isn't it? All my fee.

I had a telephone call too this morning,
six o 'clock.

And? I had a phone call, that's all.

Who from?

The hell do I know? They've rung off.

I don't get phone calls at six o 'clock
in the morning.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

Listen, love, I really ought not to ask
you this, but... What?

Are you sure it was a telephone call? I
mean, I dream I'll get calls in the

mornings. Oh, that's good, that is.

Irene, I'm sorry.

And I didn't forget to shut the
girlfriend door, nor turn the tap off. I

forgot for 30 years.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I just felt I should
have asked you.

The thing is, Ken, I'm frightened.

What, a big girl like you?

Yeah.

So just be on the safe side.

I've dug this out.

Irene, if I were you, I wouldn't go
waving that about. I mean, are you sure

want you off?

Oh, you saw them?

Oh, yeah, but it sounded more like a
strong -up, not a threat.

Yeah, they're short of money.

Can't be. He's just bought her a mug.

Yeah, second -hand.

If they'd been flush, she'd have got
herself a new one.

Hey!

Right there, woman.

No, sir.

No.

Yes, please.

tell him, will you?

Tell him what?

Tell him that I surrendered to a left.

Promise? No.

Where are you off to?

Estate agents.

Well, he's going to mind the shop then.

You are. Do you need to drop me off?

Oh, right.

I said half -night.

Fine, then.

Remember, lads, I do the talking. No one
interrupts, right?

I reckon, Mr Blackwater, the fairest
thing to do would be to call the whole

thing off. I really do. I mean, she
ain't gonna budge. Don't be so hasty. I

mean, we do have a verbal agreement,
they and me, that the land will be

Well, with respect, our verbal agreement
was I'd try and get her off.

Nobody said anything about dead sheep
and leaving gates open.

What's she talking about?

Anyway, she's got people working for her
now.

Makes it tricky talking to her. People?
What people?

Well, it's one bloke, actually.

Oh. That's a bit of a difference between
people and one bloke. I mean, one bloke

was never a problem.

What's his name?

Morning.

And are you sure Auntie isn't holding
out for an offer?

Some payment for packing her bags,
perhaps?

She ain't interested in money.

She's old.

It's worth putting it to her, though.

What do you think, Ronnie?

She's your auntie, pal.

So I say you're the one who should get
rid of her, by any fair means you know.

If that doesn't work, we'll just have to
go on the foul ones, won't we?

What's the strength of this tow rag
who's working for her?

Talk of the devil.

What I can.

Mr Boone.

How nice to see you again so soon.

Saves us looking for you.

We hear that you're a born helper of old
ladies across roads.

This is Ronnie Blackwater, by the way.

Yeah, well, I've just come here to get
some wood.

You all right, Phil?

Looking a bit white under the gills. Mr
Boone, you didn't come here to tell

Philip off for badgering his auntie, did
you?

No, I was just going to mention that in
passing. I've rumbled him.

Rumbled? Well, his skin.

He wants her off.

Never? Yes, straight up.

They tell me you're a courier.

You deliver messages?

I've got one.

You tell Mrs Wasson I we shan't wait
forever to get that land.

Then all you have to do is mind your own
business.

Yeah, OK. Shall we write the message
down, or will you remember it?

No, I think you've made it quite plain,
actually.

Total bit, Phil.

I think they're trying to tell us
something, though.

Now,

come on, what's going on? Oh, believe
me, I cannot, and I really don't.

If I said man -made lake to you, I
suppose you wouldn't know what I was

about. Eh?

Oh, forget it.

Brass bones got me by the shortened
curlies. You may think so. You say to

like that, eh, maybe, they take it as
eh, definitely.

Well, I'm just not very good at saying
no.

Oh, yeah?

Except to Irene.

I don't want her off that place.

Honest, I don't.

You could do with the money, though,
couldn't you?

What a price, having that old cow living
in my house with the rest of her

natural.

She wouldn't last very long, you know,
outside that farm.

That's not my style of thinking.

You've got to help us, Ken.

Why me?

I don't know.

I suppose the old bill would say, what
are they on about?

No -one's been killed, nothing's been
nicked.

I'll pay you.

You've got any money? Will have, as soon
as I get rid of this place.

Selling it, eh? And good riddance.

No, it's not my kind of work.

Granny's, is he?

Maybe. But Irene must trust you.

And believe me, Ken, that one fact alone
makes you unique.

Listen, you'd better go back to the
office. I could be hours here.

No, can't be that. There are only more
estate agents, Debs.

No, honest, thanks a lot, love, and
thanks for carting us round as well. Oh,

it's all right. I'll see you later,
then, eh? Ciao. Ciao.

Yes, Ken, yes.

Yes, well, I'm just trying to keep in
with the captains of industry so that

and me can invest our widow's mite and
all that.

Yeah, I've just come to warn you about
putting your money where Rathbone's

is.

Eh? And certainly don't you go promising
any mito. For starters, they don't own

the land they're planning to develop.

And second, the way I go about grabbing
it isn't exactly delicate.

They're good customers, aren't they,
Ken?

You know that old girl you aimed out?

You know, on behalf of Decorum.

I don't want to know, Ken.

But one thing I am sure about is that
nobody does business these days by

frightening old ladies.

Yeah, well, I was going to ask you just
to drop a couple of casual questions at

the shoot.

Now, you just hang on a moment.

You do your own dirty work.

You should never have got involved in
the first place.

That's the most sensible thing you've
said so far.

Gov? One, I'm not Gov. Two, where's
Debbie?

Well, she's now ticking up on estate
agents like I told her.

Right, Tommy, take over the office.
Hugh, get on your bike and find her.

Gov.

Who's that?

Bloody hell, Irene, I'm not the tally
man.

Oh.

Not as young as you make out then, are
you, boy?

Hey, what do you know?

Your good health. I've been talking to
your nephew, Philip.

Don't you mention that boy's name in
this house.

Well, it's going to make talking about
it a bit difficult.

I mean, he's asking to keep an eye on
you.

Honestly, he says he doesn't know any
more about it than you do. That is a

just to make you think he's innocent.

Well, I saw them leaning on him.

What can he do?

It's a bit like Steve McQueen in The
Magnificent Seven.

He says you've got to bend with the
breeze or you break.

I've never forgotten that.

Oh.

Well, mainly because I didn't know what
it meant.

Derek, be a good boy and drive my car
very carefully to Moat Farm.

We'll meet you out there.

So it's just the three of us, is it, Mr
Ruffball?

Afraid so.

I'd hoped that Sir William and his
brother would join us, but they're in

Scotland.

Scotland, eh?

Oh, very nice.

Oh, now, just which bit of this land
would my 500 pounds buy, then, Mr

Oh, the entire front gate, I shouldn't
wonder, Mr Crawford.

And what sort of people are they that
have come up with the money?

Ordinary people, Harry.

Thank you.

So what do you do, then? Just gather it
all together, like, and then spend it?

Beautifully put.

Yes, we hold the stake, but it's a
gamble you can't lose, Harry, so why

you just leave it to us?

No, I wasn't being nosy, like. I mean, I
was just interested.

Very healthy at your age.

Don't worry, Harry.

It's all legal and above board, I assure
you.

Do Mr Keane and I look like fly -by
-nights?

George!

Well, somehow I didn't think we'd be
shooting rabbit.

Charlie, have a seat, mate.

Any point is there in me getting
comfortable?

No. It's cards, Charlie.

Charlie, I'm sorry.

Really, I am.

But you obviously know what the score
is.

The business is running down.

Timber prices, they're going through the
roof.

What can I do?

For a start, you can give that wife of
yours a lesson in home economics, Phil.

That's how everyone tells me.

It's not just the bleeding murk, either.

Them frocks she's wearing, they won't
run up at home.

She's stuck by me through lean times.
You don't forget loyalty like that.

The thing is, they've come round again
and nobody's told her.

I know one thing he's afraid of.

Yeah, you.

Oh, you're getting far too cheeky for
your own good, young man. Sorry.

Oh, this old woman. Oh, he's petrified
of her.

What, Deidre? Yeah.

How come?

Because he's a lemon.

Surely she wouldn't have the bottle to
kill a sheep, would she?

Wouldn't she? And flood my yard.

She'd stop at nothing, that one.

Yeah?

They can't get me out of here, so now
they're going to try and kill me.

Don't be daft. Come on, let's go and
have a butchers.

I want some action this time, Ken. Not a
lot of codswallop like it was before.

Yes, Irene.

Safety catch.

Bad luck, Mr Crawford.

But what's this place called, then?

Moat Farm.

Another blot on the landscape, don't you
agree?

Sure.

Don't worry, Harry, no -one's going to
get hurt.

We haven't mistaken a rabbit for an old
lady yet. Yes, well, my mate Mr Boone,

he reckons you're less than professional
when it comes to getting your own way.

But me, I like to keep an open mind
about these things.

Well, maybe that's why Mr Boone is a
courier and you and I are businessmen.

Start laughing.

You are a businessman, aren't you?

Well, I like to think so.

Oi!

Jesus. Look, I think that's enough.

Ken.

Mr Boone.

You're simply everywhere these days.

What's going on round here?

This is called a shoot.

And who said you could stroll round here
frightening the bloody sheep?

The owner.

We have his permission in writing.

Yes, well, I wouldn't mind seeing that.

Perhaps you know him, Mr Boone. Philip
Lansbury. Richard.

I should do something about her if I
were you, Mr Boone. I mean, she does

to be yours these days.

Irene! No!

Mrs Love, don't!

Stop her, Ken!

Don't do it!

You'll notice that each time we meet,
something a little more colourful occurs

than the last time.

Where will it all end, I wonder?

Yeah, OK.

Yeah, if he's not in today, then I'll
have to talk to him tomorrow. Yeah,

thanks.

Moat Farm.

Yeah. Bye.

Your friend Michelson's on a pigging
golf course.

Told you, it was a lemon.

Well, he may be a lemon, love, but you
do need a cop around here.

I don't see why me going for a bit of
natural justice is wrong.

Look, just because the car's trespassed
in it doesn't mean that they take pot

shots at it.

Look, I'll tell you what.

I'll take you out to lunch tomorrow.

At the coaching inn, 12 .30.

All right?

Better be a good one.

Thank you, Mr Crawford.

Derek, see that the car's brought back,
will you? Mr Rathbone?

Yes? As a potential investor, there's
one or two questions I'd like to ask.

Mainly, how you get your cash together.

Not now, Harry. Yes, right now.

I mean, a very good friend of mine could
have been shot back there.

Not my own.

I mean, it's not enough that you talk me
out of my hard -earned money.

You caught £500 in money.

I call it an insult.

Right. OK.

I tried fishing.

I'm that new one on the Hadley Road. No
one knows nothing.

Can I leave it till tomorrow?

Ken.

You all right, mate?

Just about, mate. Just about.

Oh, well.

It's okay.

We're things up and at sea.

Like the Titanic.

I could always do... the car?

It wouldn't make any difference.

Well, extend the overdraft facility.

I did that two months ago.

Cold black water. Tell him you changed
your mind. Deidre, I've made the

decision. It's finished.

The sawmill's going on the market and
the estate agent's coming round this

afternoon.

You're a f***. Fool, Philip.

Rathbone, Keane and Blackwater.

Well, I'm sorry, Miss Jake, the names
don't ring a bell with me.

Where do they hail from?

Well, we don't know.

Our guess is that they, well... Yeah?

Well, they're trying to frighten people
off the land, Wild West style.

Well, that's a pretty big allegation,
you know.

Perhaps we should try the police.

We might just do that.

Thanks for your help.

And with Yates?

Yeah.

Perhaps I can help you.

Come on, Debbie, well... Give me this.

It's a copy of a memo that was sent from
their Coventry branch.

Shall I read it? Yeah, come on.

Sorry, sorry.

Go on, then.

It would seem... that the firm of
Rathbone, Keane and Blackwater, who have

trading under the name RKB, are less
than favoured by local banks and Chamber

Commerce.

Any potential dealings with this firm
should be cleared at head office pending

double -page spread article in the
Carlisle Gazette by the investigative

journalist Anthony Simmons. Yeah, good
girl.

Well, that's good enough for me, Ken. I
apologise. You were right about him.

Yeah, but how do we get rid of him?

I think you can leave that to me.

Another lemon.

Oh, yes, and I apologise to you and all,
Miss Mablethorpe, for chucking you out

of reception the other day.

I'm afraid I jumped the gun a bit there.

Pressure, you see.

Well, what are you going to do to make
up for it?

Whisky? I'd better make it a double this
time, hadn't I?

I suppose you'd laugh at the power of
the Chamber of Commerce and such like.

The round table.

Yes, we both would.

Well, all you need to do is spread the
word about these boys and nobody will

touch them.

You reckon?

Just give me the rest of the day, right?

Come on, Irene.

Lunch at the Coaching Inn.

I'll run you home afterwards and you'll
get another chance to put your arms

around me.

Hello, Irene.

Mrs Rath... Bonekeen and Blackwater tell
me you're a daband with a shotgun.

They've lodged a complaint.

What about my complaint against them,
eh? They're a bunch of cut -glass

who run people off their own land.

You lot make it up as you go along,
don't you?

Now, listen, you've got no right to go
blasting away at their motors.

Now, it could have been a very serious
complaint against you, you know, but I

have sweet -talked them a bit. Yeah, and
what about her complaint? Shut up!

For a start, you haven't got a licence
for this bloody relic, have you? I don't

use it. Tell that to Basil Rathbone.
What about my dead sheep?

Frankly, Irene, sod your sheep. What do
you expect from an overworked force?

Posters? Wanted for murder, dead or
alive, useless to you. Do me a favour.

how much proof do you need that she's
been threatened?

As far as I can see, Rathbone's playing
it straight.

Within the law, anyway.

I always knew you were the lemon, Sam.

Oh, that's gratitude.

You should be thanking me because all
I'm saying to you is don't forget to

for a shotgun license.

Consider yourself told off, Irene.

Don't you snap at me.

Oh,

she's hearing things.

I've got ears like a bat.

Interesting. Very interesting.

Well, if you're not going to do anything
about it, I will. Ken, just do me a

favour.

Allow me to be the policeman, all right?

Now, gently does it.

Follow me.

Oh!

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh,

Mr Rathbun.

Yes, Harry.

I've got all your bills worked out.
Perhaps you'd like to settle up now.

Something wrong?

No. But I doubt whether you'll be
staying on much longer.

Not being able to raise the money that
you were after.

Who says we haven't? I do, for a start,
Mr Rathbone.

I've been having a word with a
journalist called Anthony Simmons.

You have been doing your homework,
haven't you?

Very naughty.

Hi, Miss Crawford.

Anxious about something?

No, no, no.

I just fancy holding on to what little
bit of money I've got.

But I reckon that Rathbone, Keane and
Blackwater are of a different mind.

I told you. I told you.

You should have trodden a bit more
carefully. Now you've got right up

nose. Oh, now be fair, Mr Blackwater. I
mean, we don't like being insulted, no.

But more than that, we don't like being
shafted. Now, now.

Tart, tart.

Those houses would have been built, you
know.

And you'd have got your 15 % return on
the capital.

And where's the problem in that?

But they would have been built over
Irene Mablethorpe's dead body, maybe.

Now, the Chamber of Commerce don't like
to hear about things like that.

You pair of... Come on, lads, plenty
more where you came from. Birmingham?

I don't think so, mate.

No, you're middle -class there, you
pretty bourgeoisie.

Pay the bill, Jonathan.

Give him a tip.

You'll need your key, Mr Blackwater.

Stanley, bring the bags down, please.

I

don't

believe it.

I just bloody believe it.

You got a docket, son?

Yeah. Ain't nothing wrong.

Let's have a look and I'll tell you.

From an outfit called RKB.

Ever heard of him before?

Look, what's the hassle?

She didn't want our bloody farm knocked
down. She was perfectly happy the way it

was. You can't build it up again, can I?
And you're not going to get paid, mate.

You know that, don't you?

Oh, we'll see about that. Look, I've got
a phone number here.

See? A London number.

Never occurred to you to knock on the
door and check before you waited in.

Now I've got a map, haven't I?

Oh, buzz off.

Is that all you're going to do?

What do you want me to do?

Hang him right here and now?

Well, check out the people that put him
up to it. I mean, it seems simple.

Hey, and about?

Do you think if I smiled nicely at him,
he'd chop all this up for firewood?

Irene.

off then, eh?

How are you, Mr Boone? I would resist
the urge to comment.

What's up?

Not enough mugs left in this part of the
world, eh?

Old women are not quite the pushover
they ought to be.

Push off, Sunbeam.

Frustrating, isn't it?

What is? That you can't do anything
about us.

But then we haven't broken any laws,
have we?

Disappointing.

And what about the dead sheep?

And leaving their taps running?

What is this leg of lamb he keeps on
about?

There was a dead sheep in the old girl's
water trough, so they say.

So how come they know all about it?

They wouldn't dirty their hands killing
sheep.

Look after yourself.

Only not too well, eh?

I can't believe they got away with that.

Yeah, knocks me and all, mate.

And all it cost them is two ruddy tyres?

They're the perfect example of how to
succeed in business without really

Get your coat, Harry.

What's going on about, Ken? I mean, I
can't go gallivanting off. I've got my

to sort through.

Look, just get it, will you?

Right. Well, obviously we put this in
our industrial file.

I must say, I'm not too optimistic.

Really, aren't I? Why not?

Well, frankly, I don't see how a run
-down sawmill might appeal to a

investor.

Well, why don't you get in touch with
some of them and see?

Steady on, Debbie.

No, I said steady on!

Mr Davis, my husband has worked hard
here all he'd like to keep this place

for me, the kids and the people who
worked here. So it didn't quite work out

fair enough.

But are none of the larks of you looking
down their snecks at him just because

he couldn't make a go of it?

Lady Brie, it's not my fault your
husband's going out of business.

No, you're just a rich man's little boy.

What have you ever done to get blisters
on your hands, eh? Show him your hands,

Phil. No, it's all right, Dee. See?

That's what you get from honest grafts,
don't he?

Dee, why don't you just go and wait in
the car and I'll be with you in a

I'm sorry, Phil.

Sorry.

For once, I'll condone your lying, Ken.

But don't ask me to join in, right?

Come on, don't you worry. I'll handle
her.

She hasn't done too badly out of it, has
she?

No. Well, if being the owner of a nice,
shiny Mercedes is broke, I wouldn't mind

some of it myself.

Harry?

This is Deirdre Lansbury.

About whom you've heard so much.

Afternoon.

What's your problem, Ken?

Heard we were selling up, did you? Come
for a bit of a laugh? No, not at all. We

came because Irene was wondering whether
you want to apologise before the old

bills start asking questions.

What questions?

Like a good story in the local rag.

Central News.

Telly. Once they get their teeth into
your journalists, they never let go till

you bleed.

And I've heard from their very lips, RKB
won't take the rap on their own,

especially when there's someone like you
to shuffle it off on.

RKB and I have never met.

Maybe, love, but they know all about
you.

Taps you leave on, the phone calls?

From you, no doubt.

I don't know how these stories get
about.

No doubt your husband will hear about it
pretty soon.

Tell us about the sheep, Deidre.

Oi, you!

Don't think Ken wants any more freelance
writers, thanks, Ireland.

Oh, don't be soft.

I've just come to drop these off, that's
all.

It might sound daft, but I thought I
could save the business.

Yeah, well, I believe you. But you're
going to leave her alone, aren't you?

No more dead sheep.

No more taps left on.

No more phone calls.

You'll not tell Phil?

No, he's got too much on his plate. But
it doesn't mean to say we're going to

forget. What about Irene?

Well, you keep your part of the bargain
and I'll not tell her either.

Right?

You know, that bitch is typical, Ken.

Oh, don't tell me you suddenly
discovered all about women. How did we?

just women, mate.

All the other sexes as well.

What? I mean, she's perfectly happy to
terrify her relatives, to kill sheep, to

spend money that she hasn't got, just as
long as nobody finds out.

What a daft thing to say. Tell me
something I don't know.

I don't think you know. There's a car
coming.

Well, we'll just have to hope Anthony
Simmons can bring our KB to its knees,

because sure as hell we can't.

Oh, you've not done so bad, mate. That
mean you'll be buying the drinks

Yes, well, I just wanted to finish that.
You're a businessman of principle,

Harry.

Now, be very careful.

Four years old, elderberry.

Oh, well, thanks.

Don't be a lemon boy.

It's for Ken, not you.

I'll give them to him.

Any message?

Thanks.

Texas Rangers, Texas toughest men.

Texas Rangers, there they ride again.

They ride in thunder.

They ride in rain.

It makes one wonder if they feel no
pain.

They never falter. They never fail.

They hang their halter on a rusty nail.

Texas Rangers, Texas toughest men.

Texas Rangers, there they ride again.