Original subtitles

Thank you.

I won't shake hands on a bit, sir.

May I ask what you're doing?

Yeah. It's a spare engine for my bike.

I'm putting some new rings on it.

Rather an odd spot to be doing a job like that, isn't it?

It's as good a place as any.

May I ask what is that to you?

Oh, I'd like to introduce myself, Mr Boone. Oh, you know my name, then?

Yes, I checked.

Did you? I've recently bought one of the cottages up the road.

How nice.

Well, we think so.

The other people there and myself.

Those cottages used to be for farm labourers. Then along came all the

bits and pieces.

The farm labourers had to leave.

My name is Wadsworth.

Mine's Ken.

As I was saying, I've recently moved here, and not just for the weekends,

Bully for you.

I've gone a little concerned, along with my neighbours, about the general state

of your property.

We think it could do with a bit of tidying up.

Well, that's very kind of you, but I can manage on my own, you know.

Can you?

Frankly, it's been in this state for some time now, hasn't it?

Yeah, I suppose it has.

Quite a while.

Well, the question is, are you ever going to do anything about it?

Well, of course I am.

You don't think I want to live like this forever, do you?

The room, that is factory?

That is factory, yes.

Let me just say it's not the worst hotel room I've ever stayed in.

Well, I don't think you'll find a better hotel at these prices.

Oh, it's cheap, yes.

A hotel, I'm not too sure.

You've obviously travelled a fair bit.

I mean, all those stickers all over your luggage. All over the world, yes.

That's the light of the circus.

Oh, that was great.

Oh, sunny day in Rome, yes.

Rainy night in Manchester, no.

You don't travel?

Three weeks in Florence last year.

Ah, Ferenzi. That's a nice town.

And what do you do this year?

Oh, I haven't decided yet.

Depends what offers I get.

I don't think you'll be shocked of offers.

Listen, I need your advice.

Yes? This man who advertises over there on the board, the ex -fireman, you know

him?

Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.

He is reliable?

Reliable?

Yes.

I understand that you have promised to clear up this site before, Mr Boone.

Well, I think promise is putting it a bit strong.

I think I might have said I'll have a go at it when I've got the time.

I am not without friends on the parish council, you know, Mr Boone.

Nice lot, are they?

I do hope you're not being sarcastic.

That'll be for me.

What is?

Hold this a minute.

Yeah, it's nice to hear your voice too, darling.

Listen, I might have a job for you. What sort of job?

Well, I can't talk now. Just get down here as fast as you can. Well, I'll have

to get cleaned up first. It'll take about 45 minutes.

I'll just check.

Yeah, yeah, that'll be all right.

All right. Tilo, I'll see you.

You've left oil and grease all over that phone.

All right, keep your hair on. I'll come back and clean it up in a minute.

That seems to be your style, Mr Boone.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Where's that piston I gave

you too old?

I put it down.

Oh, that's charming.

So a brand new, specially machined piston is now covered in tiny fragments

Worcestershire. Thanks a bunch, mate.

Have you had a look? I've had a look and I made a few notes on it.

Have you found a leak?

Your damp's being caused by an old lead pipe which runs down this wall.

Oh, fantastic news, isn't it? What I'd recommend to you is we replace the

pipe. These old lead pipes can go on for centuries if they're left undisturbed,

but once you disturb them, anything can happen.

What, you mean check the wallpaper off?

That'd be just the start.

The only way you can cure that damp is by hacking off all the dead plaster

back to the bricks.

Then paint the bricks with a suitable sealant. You're joking!

And, of course, redecorate.

Oh, look, there's got to be an easier way to fix this than with a shortcut,

isn't there? Mr Crawford, in building work, a shortcut is usually the most

expensive route.

I'm not one of your cowboys, you know, redundant from a car factory one week

a skilled craftsman the next. Yes, all right, all right, all right. You'd

let me have a quote.

I'll give it you now.

Well, go on, then.

To stripping wallpaper, removing plaster... Just the price will do.

The customer should know what he's paying for. Just the price, please.

That's what you want.

£781 .40.

Oh, my God.

Plus VAT.

Well? That was a long 45 minutes.

Yeah, well, I had to deal with some Indians out at the ranch. Indians out

way? Yeah, figure of speech. Oh.

Now, there's some geezer who's bought one of the cottages. He had the bloody

cheek to come up to me and tell me to clean up my site. Oh, I don't blame him.

Oh, thanks, partner. Well, who wants to buy a nice country cottage and find

themselves looking at a dirty, big, abandoned Lego set from an executive

house? It's not going to be executive -style.

But it is a dirty old pile of rubbish, isn't it?

Well, I told him I'd clean it up.

And he believed that?

No. But I will. I will, I promise you.

I'll doll up the hut, fill in the foundations.

Plant some seeds. If I plant now, six or eight weeks, I'll have something to

show for it. Yeah.

Dreams. Veggies, love. Veggies.

Now, what about his job? Room seven.

What's it about?

Well, mine not to ask questions, mine just to deliver messages. But

confidential, they said, actually.

Yes?

Definitely.

I'm Ken Boone. I think you answered my advert downstairs on the notice board.

You are the ex -fireman.

I am Elena Sandini.

Hello.

Please come in.

Oh, sit down.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Here.

What exactly is it you want me to do? It's a long story, but basically it's a

question of finding a cat.

Finding a cat?

I'll charge money for this, you know.

Well, you do not suggest a Santini would ask you to work for nothing, do you?

No, no, no. Good.

Now, how much do you cost?

Well, that's a bit of a trick question, because I don't know exactly what I've

got to do.

Where did you lose your cat?

Oh, it wasn't lost.

It was stolen.

Well, isn't that a matter for the police?

I don't want to involve the police. Why not?

I don't want the publicity.

Well, I wouldn't have thought there'd be a lot.

Stolen cat? Hardly a big news story, is it? Oh, yes, this would be. That is why

they stole it, to get the publicity.

These people, they are ruthless.

They would stop at nothing.

They have released wild animals to die. They have poisoned food for children.

Well, they do sound a rough lot. Believe me, they are.

I hope you'll be able to find Watson.

Watson? Before they do something terrible to him. His name's Watson?

Oh, it is his real name, but it's not how the public know him.

Oh, the public know you're cat.

But of course, they love him.

Must be some cat.

Oh, he is.

He is very dear to me.

That is why it is most important that you help get him back.

You will help, won't you?

Well, of course, I'll do my best.

Hello?

This is my husband.

Hello.

This is the man who's going to help get Watson back for us.

Ah, the former fireman.

Ken Boone.

Arturo Sandini.

Nice to meet you.

I want you to get this round to the town hall as soon as you can.

I never signed down here as a messenger, you know.

Mr Wilberforce never sent me out on errands. Mr Wilberforce didn't have any

errands. Or anything else, if he comes to that.

That's why he went bust.

We in trouble with the sanitary department again?

It's not called that anymore, and no, we're not in trouble with anybody.

Can't see who it's addressed to without me glasses.

Nick, you don't need to see who it's addressed to.

Just hand it to the porter inside the door and he'll deal with it.

Bet they don't send him out on errands. No, that's because he's got plenty to

do, unlike some people I know.

You know, if this place ever gets as busy as you say it's going to be, I

have to hand in my resignation.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

But as and when that situation arises, I'll deal with it at the time.

Yeah, your wife was saying someone's stolen your cat for publicity reasons,

right? I haven't quite grasped what that's all about. Who's stolen it? I

you the full story.

You know who I am. Yeah? I'm the great Sandini from the great Sandini Circus

family. Yeah, of course. So, my father, he had many cats.

He had one of the greatest acts ever seen with him in the circus.

A cat act?

And he did it all with love, believe me.

His piece de resistance was when he got them all.

Seven magnificent creatures to sit on stools while he proceeded... Wait a

minute. This stolen cat, it's a lion, isn't it?

Of course.

You did not think it was a cat.

Well, naturally... Everybody in the circus calls them cats.

Well, in the fire service, we call them lions.

Does it mean you're not going to help us?

Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I need all the facts. I mean, all the facts this

time.

Mr Boone seems like a nice man, Elena.

Perhaps we should tell him everything.

Yes.

Arthur Sanders.

Nice to meet you.

And I'm Helen.

I don't get it.

In the old days, you had to be a foreigner in a circus.

I mean, all the best acts were from the continent.

It was my grandad started... Calling himself Sandini. Three generations in a

circus we are. In public, we always keep the act up. Otherwise, you don't know

when you let something slip.

But if you're going to help us find Raja, it's best you know the truth.

You said it was Cole Watson. On stage, he used to be called Raja.

You can't have a circus lion called Watson, can you?

I suppose not.

Well, what's this got to do with him being stolen? I was telling you, my dad

used to have this great lion act, but I never really wanted to go on with it,

and by the time he died, only old Watson was left.

And he's just a pet, really.

But you can't keep a lion as a pet, can you? Except in a circus. That's right.

Anyway, we were working Birmingham last week. Nowadays, we just walk Roger

around the ring, you know, the opening parade, and when we went back after the

show, he was gone. And that was stuck to his cage.

Animal rights action?

Yeah. That night they phoned and said they'd kidnapped Watson.

Couldn't you tell them that Watson didn't work anymore?

They didn't want to listen.

I see. So you wrecked their scheme by not calling the police.

Well, why should we give them all that publicity?

What about the lion? Aren't you worried about it? Of course we are, Ken. I mean,

he might end up dead.

Where's the circus now?

It's France.

We had to stop behind to sort this out. We're losing a load of money on it.

That's why we're staying in this dump.

Yeah, we don't know how long we'll be. Now, if we don't get over to France

we might even lose our jobs.

I can't understand why this lot haven't contacted the newspapers, TV.

Well, they might do that any minute. So the quicker we get going, the better.

Can you help us?

Well, I'll do me best.

Great. Thanks, Ken.

Um, there is just one other question. What are these knives for?

That's my new act, knife throwing.

And I was trying on my costume for it.

Do you like it? Oh, yeah, who wouldn't?

Well, what are you going to do now, then?

Well, I'm not quite sure, but I've got a clue. I've got some transport. I'd

better get looking.

I'll be in time.

Hello. Hello.

You'll pass the belt.

No, that's great. She'll be back in a bit, though. I wonder if you could help

me.

Hey, are I?

Animal Rights Action?

No, I've been on the dole for a year myself, mate. I can't give through any

charity. I'm not collecting, love. Listen, just leave it. It was printed

wasn't it? It was written before my time.

Yeah, well, the thing is, you see, I want to join this group, Animal Rights

Action. And, um, I mean, you're in favour of protecting animals, aren't

yeah. Well, me too.

I mean, I can't bear to see a budgie caged up.

But like most people, I've never done nothing about it, so I've decided now's

the time to do me bit.

Oh, good.

But the thing is, I can't get hold of them.

Yeah? Yeah, well, I thought you might have the address, phone number.

What's that? This was printed here, wasn't it? I don't think I should give

out. Oh, come on, love.

For the animals.

Well, couldn't you wait till Mr Bottler comes back?

Well, trouble is, I borrowed my governor's motor, you know. I've got to

back before he comes back from lunch, otherwise he'll skin me alive.

And they do need volunteers.

Oh. It's in a good cause, isn't it? I suppose so. I hadn't really thought

it myself.

Is that right?

Come on, find a phone number. Yeah, that'll do.

4373462.

Can I use your phone? Local call.

I'll pay for it. All right.

Hello, is that the engineers? Yeah.

Could I, um, speak to Walton MacDonald?

Got any idea where the job is?

I know you're not supposed to, but I'm an old friend of his, and, um... Well,

you know, when his plaque got burnt down, I was the, um... I was the

Cheers, mate.

Preston Road.

OK?

Hey, Walton.

Kenneth.

My man.

How you doing?

Not bad, not too bad.

When do I get that drink at your house, you promise me?

When I finish the house, if ever.

You're not still living in that caravan.

Yeah, so off.

How's young Wesley?

He's done fine.

The only thing is, he wants to be a fireman now.

You weren't just driving past and see me, did you, Kenneth?

No, I need a favor.

I'm your man.

I've got a phone number, but I need an address to go with it.

Against the rules, boy.

I know that, but it's in a good cause.

Where you be about two o 'clock?

That's the number I want, and that's where I'll be.

Grand Hotel.

Sounds posh.

Not if you see it.

I will speak to a mate in the exchange.

do my best for you. Thanks, Walton.

See ya.

And Clarice keeps saying, when is that tenant coming round for some good food?

I'm just waiting for the invitation, me old son.

Oh, you've played a blinder with the shopping, as usual, Ethel. Oh, thanks,

sure. Only point is, I mean, take these tomatoes.

Real jerseys they are, and they're as sweet as grapes. Oh, yeah, beautiful,

what a price.

You find them for less.

Well, I'm sure I couldn't. Then what you on about?

Well, couldn't we have got cheaper ones?

No, they wouldn't have been as good.

Yeah, but I mean, who's going to notice when they're cooked or at the bottom of

a salad?

I mean, you're not at the Savoy now, you know.

You'll never learn, will you, Harry?

If you don't give people something good, they don't come back.

Ethel, I'm not saying give them rubbish. I mean, quite the reverse.

I want to give them value for money.

But I want them to be able to see it. I mean, let's see the money on the plate.

You mean put your money where your mouth is?

No, Ethel, that is not what I meant.

Good afternoon, sir. Good afternoon.

I've come to see Mr Crawford.

Oh, and you're Mr... Bridgman, from the council housing department.

Oh.

Well, then, I'll just see if I can find him.

If you'd like to wait there a second.

Harry, there's Mr Bridgman from the council here to see you. Oh, great.

Show him in here.

In here? Are you sure?

Yeah.

Right. Ethel, this bloke is very important for all our welfare, so I want

back me up. Perhaps he knows where to get cheap tomatoes.

Ethel.

Harry, Mr Bridgman, Mr Crawford. Mr Bridgman, good to meet you.

I must say, you people certainly have moved quickly.

Well, Mr Crawford, without prejudice to this particular case, I'll be frank.

We do have an urgent need for what you're offering.

Smashing.

Eh, Ethel? What smashing?

Subject, of course, to rigorous standards.

Rigorously applied.

Well, of course, of course.

That's why I thought it would be an excellent idea for you to see our

Nothing to hide, you know, as this is where the breakfast would be cooked.

breakfast? And I'd like you to meet Mrs Allard.

She's in charge of all the catering here. Trained at the Savoy Hotel,

less. Very good.

Naturally, Mrs Allard is not only a superb cook, but is also in charge of

the buying.

I mean, these are some particularly fine Jersey tomatoes.

Here, try one.

Oh.

Oh, delicious, Mrs Allard.

I've just had my lunch, thank you.

Any calls for me?

No, no, nothing.

How's the search for Bigfoot going?

I'm not sure until I get this call I'm waiting for.

How much are you charging Tarzan and Jane for this?

Well, that's between me and them, isn't it?

Oh, you always say that when you think you're not charging enough.

How much?

A hundred quid.

A hundred?

Oh, Ken.

Well, plus expenses.

What, half a gallon of four -star? No, a bit more than that. Oh, you're nuts.

Well, how much would you charge for recovering a stolen lion, eh?

I mean, I like these people. They care about the animal. They're not that well

off. Well, if you're making charitable contributions, you can start with me.

right. How about another dinner one night?

Oh, I don't think you can afford it.

Hello? Grand Hotel?

Yes.

He's right here, actually.

Yes, it's a Mr MacDonald.

Walton, hello, I'm your son. Any luck?

Yeah?

Fantastic.

Yeah, that'd be fine. Yeah, tell...

Clarice Thursday night. Yeah, lovely.

See you, mate.

Have a good day.

Yep.

We're the West Indian family of seven.

You want to come?

Might do.

Hello. Is this yours?

How do you mean, mine?

Well, if it is, I'd like to help. Help on what?

Animal rights, so. Ill treatment of animals.

I'd like to do something about it.

What makes you think I might know anything about that?

Some friends of mine said there was a group working out of this address.

Who are these friends of yours? Hunt saboteurs, you know. Down Devon Way.

Any of them got a name?

Yeah, the geezer who ran it, it was called, um, Eddie. Eddie Nunn.

Never heard of him. No, well, it's not his real name. You know what I mean? No.

Well, on account of a bit of bother he got involved with, you know, with his

activities around the laboratories where they do experiments.

Uh, listen, uh, can't really talk about this on the doorstep.

All right.

The rooms are just about all right.

We do have a redecoration programme.

I shall have to send somebody to check that everything's in accordance with the

fire regulations.

Oh, no trouble there, Mr Bridgman, I promise you.

And I didn't very much like the look of that damp we saw in the bar.

Well, now, that has been inspected and estimated for.

I expect the contractors to start work any minute now.

All right.

Well, there's still a way to go.

Well, I mean, if there's anything else I should know. No.

I shall come back to see the result of the fire check and the progress on that

damp. Good night.

I was in department.

What have you got to do with hotels?

I've put in for their bed and breakfast.

For some of the homeless families the council has to fix up.

Oh, yeah.

And the council paid to put them in hotels.

Now, come on, Doreen.

These people we're talking about have got nowhere to live.

Oh, so you're doing it for their good, are you?

Partly. How much are they?

What'll they do, by the way? How much?

Er, 150 a head.

What?

Are they twice what you're getting now?

Well, I've got a heck of a living, haven't I?

Out of somebody else's misfortune.

Typical. Now, look, Doreen, if the council don't put them in here, they'll

them in another B &B.

So they might just as well be the grand, I say.

Oh, Harry, you're all hard.

Yeah, it was Eddie who actually recommended I should come up here. You

involved with a bit of local action, a bit of coordination.

Know what I mean? Not really.

What's your name?

Uh, Frank.

Frank Norris.

Hey, this is a great room.

How'd you get hold of a place like this, eh?

It's a squat, isn't it?

Right.

Yeah. How many of you live here?

You're a bit old for all this, aren't you? Old?

I got arrested for assaulting a policeman, you know, in Grosvenor Square

Vietnam demo when you were still at nursery school.

Yeah? What did you do?

I hit him with my placard.

Yeah? Yeah.

Before he hit me with his truncheon. Oh.

So, what have you been doing on animal rights?

Well, I've been working with a hunt group, you know, down in Devon.

Usual sort of stuff.

Forced trails, tripwires for the horses.

Had a few good punch -ups down there.

Yeah? Yeah.

Then I got in trouble with the Gestapo.

The police?

Special Branch, right?

What sort of trouble was that? Well, better you don't know about that at the

moment, old son.

No, the thing is, since I've been up here, I've kept my head down, you know,

now I want to get involved again.

Through a friend of mine, I've heard about a laboratory not a million miles

here where they do experiments on live animals.

Probably one you don't know about.

Now, if we all got together, we could do something about it.

What do you think?

Could be interesting.

Of course, you'd have to see the committee.

What committee?

This is a democratic organisation, Frank.

And we don't let anybody in until the whole committee's agreed on it. Yeah,

great, right. Well, when can I meet them?

Later today.

So...

Where's this lab you know about? Well, I can't say.

Not at the moment, unless I'm sure we're all going to be working together.

You know what I mean? Fair enough.

Now there's no need to replace that pipe.

I don't know who suggested that.

So what do we do about it?

Bypass it.

What does that involve?

Upstairs, put in a joint, run a new pipe down, leaving this old lead thing

alone, connect up down here and Bob's your uncle.

Well, how much will that lot cost?

Well, have I got the job?

I don't know yet till I hear the price. Well, I've got to know, haven't I? Of

course, if I've got the job, I'll bang the 25 in with it.

What 25, sir?

Minimum charge for a visit.

A visit?

You're not a doctor, you know. Hey, listen, pal, don't take that attitude.

Tracy would have told whoever phoned up that it's 25 quid for me to step foot in

the door.

Well, just give me the price without the cost of the visit.

18 feet of copper, 30 mil, including VAT, approximately...

Well, I don't want to be tied down for a penny.

875.

You didn't used to work in a car factory, did you? Yeah, at the off

before I was a plumber.

How did you know that?

Let's just call it a sixth sense.

Who's that?

A plumber.

Looks like he's come up against one of Harry's cost investigations.

Yeah, he didn't look too pleased, did he?

How are you doing?

Looking good. My employer's about.

Mata Hari's up there. I thought you'd like them.

He's all right. Ooh.

Don't you ooh me.

Don't let Harry go before I've had a word with him, eh?

See you in a minute.

Come in, it's not locked.

Oh, Ken!

Any news on Watson?

Yeah, some.

You found him? No, but I found the people who took him. Oh, great.

Have they still got him? Well, I don't know. I've got to be vetted by some

committee they've got, so I hope to find out.

And what time's Arturo coming back? Oh, a couple of hours.

You'll need some help.

Well, not yet.

I'm going to infiltrate their organisation first, but I need some

I may be able to get him out tonight.

You'll need a van.

No. Oh, come on, Harry. I am not having a lion in that van. Well, you won't be

using it, will you?

Well, that's not the point. Ah, you old misery. I mean, it's not as if we're

going to take it out for a joyride, is it? It's in a good cause, Harry.

I mean, you don't want to leave that poor old line with those young

do you?

Well... I'm appealing to your better nature. Come on, I can be generous. I'll

fill the tank up for you. It's not the money, Ken.

It's the principle.

You're not going to let me have it, then?

Well, you understand, Doreen, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

So, you've been working with unsaboteurs?

Yeah, recently.

We think that's a kind of self -indulgence.

Hunting is irrelevant.

It's a sport that generally has a bad image. The number of people involved is

very small and the number of animals is insignificant.

What we believe is important is the imprisonment of animals in factory farms

food and clothing and people torturing them in laboratories.

Yeah, listen, mate.

Just because you don't work and you live in a squat doesn't mean you've got the

right to lecture someone who's actually been inside for what he believes.

Oh, yeah?

What you've been inside for, then?

Well, I've been inside a couple of times, actually. Once for, um, belting a

member of, uh, Majesty's Constabulary.

Once for starting a fire.

Starting a fire doesn't sound like a radical act of faith to me.

Well, it is if it happens to be the front door of the Ministry of Defence.

So who were these people you were working with in Devon?

Well, Eddie Nunn. He run it.

Don't know the name. Anyone else?

Gita from Bristol.

Curly hair. Big red beard.

I told Annie all about this.

And what do you want, a bloody reference?

We've got to be careful who we get involved with.

What are you worried about, then? Someone tape recording this

Oh, come on. Look, when I heard about you lot, I thought this was going to be

interesting. Animal rights action.

That's what your leaflet says, doesn't it?

All I've heard is a load of talk.

We're more than talk.

Yes. We've got some great action coming up.

Oh, yeah?

We've kidnapped a lion from a circus.

Well, if you don't mind me saying so, that does sound a bit self -indulgent.

Not at all.

It's for the publicity.

The first thing you've got to do is get the media's attention.

Yeah, but you don't seem to have managed it, have you? I haven't heard about

this kidnapping.

The owners have been smart.

They think they've asked the police to keep quiet about it. Well, it's easy.

you do is issue a statement claiming responsibility.

Yeah, we thought of that, but rejected it. What the media needs is an event.

Good thinking.

So we're going to set the lion loose?

You're going to release it?

Somewhere bitten.

Where? Oh, you needn't know that, Frank.

You'll read about it in the press. It should be a good story.

Whose bright idea was that, then, eh?

It was a group idea. We don't celebrate the individual.

So, that's our action.

Now, what about this lab that you're supposed to know about?

Well, it's over Handsworth Way. You know, they do experiments on live

What's the address?

No address, his love.

I'll show you where it is.

If anything's going to be done about that place, I want to be involved.

What did you get?

Is this him?

Yeah, he's all right.

I've got some meat pie.

This dog could do.

Will you eat them?

I'll eat one.

No. For the lion.

The lion?

You've got it here?

It's in the back.

Who's the lucky person who gets to feed it, then?

Um, well, we're going to draw a lot.

Well, um, why don't I have a go, eh?

You want to?

Yeah. Why not?

I like animals.

They like me.

Why not?

Here you go.

Be lucky.

Come on then.

How do you get him in there?

The room's got a door to the outside.

Oh.

Dinner up.

He's very quiet.

Well, he's asleep.

I put the food on the floor, so we'll have any trouble finding it when he

up. Okay, so when do we get to see the divorce?

Well, how about tomorrow morning, 11 o 'clock?

Sounds all right.

I might have something on in the morning. Can you give us a bell about 9

'clock just to confirm it?

Yeah, all right.

We'd better meet near the place, Handsworth Road and Warwick Road.

On the corner by the blue bar.

We're going down to the local Indian.

Get something to eat.

Want to come?

Well, I'd like to, but I've got to meet a mate who's setting up a demo.

See ya.

I'm still not sure about him. But you were the one who let him in. You told

about the lion. Slow down, you two.

Hey, look, I don't trust him any more than you do. But I don't think there's

anything sinister about him.

I just think he's a bit of a wally, that's all. Well, he looked like one,

right. Then why did you ask him to call in the morning?

Because we're going to change the time of the meeting.

Standard procedure, just in case.

Well done.

I'll have to leave you about half past nine.

Early.

But if he does know about this lab, then what have we got to lose by going along

with it? I agree with you. I'm just being careful.

Ah, the Lone Ranger. You're still here?

No, casino tonight.

Well, you should have said we could have done something. Gone to the circus.

Yeah, great.

So, have you cracked the case yet? Not quite, but I've prized it open.

My client's in.

Client? Get you.

Yeah, they're both up there.

Ken, how's it going, mate? Not too bad.

So you won't need a van after all? No, down to the professionals now. Smashing.

Hey, no hard feelings?

No, thank you.

Oh, Harry.

What?

Eddie? Ken, just rehearsing.

What's the news?

Well, I found him. I think I can get him in the morning. How was he?

Well, he was all right. He was asleep.

He looked all right.

I've arranged to meet them 20 miles away, 11 o 'clock in the morning, right?

which time I'll be at their place.

Now, is there anything I need to know about it? Well, most of his teeth are

down now, but he can still give you a pretty nasty scratch. And though he's

he's still pretty strong. I think I'd better give you a hand, eh? I was hoping

you'd say that.

Now, listen, we need a van.

A fella usually helps us with our set -up when we work in this area. I think I

could probably borrow something off him.

In fact, Ellie fancies you, doesn't he? Yeah.

Do you want me to give him a call? That would be best.

I'll call him first thing in the morning and we can meet near their place.

I can't believe we're going to get him back.

We haven't yet, love.

Hello, Andy.

It's Frank.

We're still all right for 11 o 'clock?

No. No?

We've got to do it a bit earlier.

10 o 'clock.

10?

I'm not sure I can make it by then. Well, Steve and the others have gone

already.

They had to do something on the way.

Oh, all right, I'll manage. I'll think of something.

Hello, Grand Hotel.

Oh, hello, Ken.

Can I speak to Arturo?

Urgent. He's just gone out. Oh, no!

He said he's gone to get the van and to meet you.

And she's with him too.

Is Harry in?

I'm coming right over. Don't let him leave, OK?

Life and death.

Where's Harry, love?

What's the panic, Ken?

Doreen won't even let me go down to the bank. I really do need your van, Harry.

Well, I thought you said... No, they've changed the time of the meeting. They

put it an hour earlier. Please, mate.

Oh, come on, Harry.

Oh, well, yeah, all right.

I won't forget it. No, I won't let you.

Hey, do you need a hand?

No, but I do need something. Is Ethel back from the market? Yeah.

Did you buy any meat?

Shouldn't we wait for Mike?

It's only a recce. We don't need it. Go on, Morton. He knew what time we were

leaving.

Come on, Watson.

Come on.

Come on, you big pussycat.

Come on.

That's a good boy.

Come on, Watson. Come on.

Come on.

Have you heard from my client? No, how did you get on? I've got him. Oh,

fantastic.

Where is he? He's outside in the van.

Ken, mate, how did you get on? I've got him.

Oh, smash it. Hey, can I have the keys to the van? I've got to see about some

new carpets. Can I bring him in here?

Who? Watson.

Who's Watson? The lion.

You know, out of your mind, this is a public place. I can't have lions

around in here.

Oh, come on, Harry, it's not lions. It's one old tired lion with blunt teeth.

It's only till Arturo and Eleanor... Ken, mate, I can't think about it.

I don't think it can, you know, Ken.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

So glad I caught you. You'll have to excuse me, but I'm late for a meeting.

I've had a word with Arthur Smythe on the parish council.

Yeah, good. Look, I've got to be in Birmingham in 15 minutes. Can you move

car? You're going to be late anyway. Another two minutes isn't going to make

difference. Up until now, I've been pretty friendly about all this.

Now, I'm going to have to order you off my land.

What the hell was that noise?

I never heard anything.

Oh, well, I've got a friend in there. She's probably watching the telly.

It is again. It sounds like a lion. It's a wildlife programme. She loves them.

Turn it down, darling.

Now, listen, come on, I'm late. I'll make a start on this place tomorrow.

But I must ask you to leave. I'm sure that was a lion. You come back day after

tomorrow. I'll show you some improvement.

I warn you, Mr Boone, the parish council are going to monitor this site very

closely. Good.

Just tell them, make sure nothing gets nicked.

Ken, is he all right? Yeah, he's fine. Where is he? He's not outside.

I've got him out at my place, but I'd rather he didn't stay there too long.

Well, let's go.

I think

you'd better go in.

I don't know what kind of mood he's going to be in, locked up in there all

night.

He's in a fine battle.

We'll have him out here in a minute. Watson, on, on. Watson, run, run. Come

my buddy.

There we go.

Up, up, up. Up, up, up.

Come on, Watson. Up, up, up. Come on. There we go.

Come on.

I knew there was something funny about him. You didn't say.

You were the one who said he was all right.

Bloody hell.

He's escaped.

We'd better look for him. He could be anywhere.

Yeah, especially as he was clever enough to jam me the door open from the

outside.

I bet that bloody Frank took him. I think that's a safe bet, Andy. Oh, well,

very safe.

I saw the Pratt driving him away.

So if I do decide to get you to do this job, when can you start?

Got me tools in the van.

So all we've got to settle now is the price?

I told you the price.

That was just a conversation.

Now we're talking turkey.

How about around 750?

That's fair.

All right.

Cash? No VAT?

That's illegal.

You're saying no?

Just making a comment.

Look at him go.

He loves it.

I know it's for the best.

It's the end of an era, Ken.

The end of an era.

Did you actually see it or just hear it, sir?

Of course I saw it. It was sitting on the floor.

Haven't had any reports of any escaped lion, sir?

Are you suggesting that I've invented this?

Oh, no.

Why would you do that, sir? Exactly.

You know the gentleman who owes these premises, do you, sir?

I wouldn't say I know him. I have had occasion to speak to him, yes. And what

would that be about, sir?

Well, the disgusting mess that this place is in, of course.

I've complained to the parish council about it. How did you react to that,

Not very well, but what's that got to do with this lion?

Oh, I'm just getting an impression of a man who owns the premises, sir.

I'll have a word with the local zoos and let you know what happens.

You are going to have a word with this fellow, aren't you? Oh, yes.

But I expect you'll deny there was ever a line in the car.

Don't you think so?

Knowing him, I expect he will, yes.

I don't like the look of this. I don't like it at all.

Don't like the look of what?

That's the beauty of damp.

Irresistible. Block it one way, it'll find another.

And you've got seepage here along the wainscot.

Oh, smashing.

Oh, well, don't cause any more damage than you have to.

Of course, I don't want to make more work for myself, do I?

Good afternoon, Mr Crawford.

Mr Bridgman, good afternoon.

I was just passing, and your young lady on reception told me you were in here,

so I thought I might as well talk to you directly.

It hasn't been fixed now, as you can see.

Well, I shall be writing to you later, but we don't want to keep you hanging

so I thought I might as well pass the decision on to you as soon as possible.

You mean the place isn't suitable?

No, not at all.

It's perfectly suitable, provided everything is in accordance with the

regulations. Oh, no problem there, Mr Bridgman, I promise you. And providing

that this work is completed satisfactorily.

I've never had any complaint, mate.

I'm sure you haven't.

Just one final check, and you should get your letter before the end of the week,

Mr Croft. Smashing.

Hey, can I offer you a drink?

I think not.

Local government official drinking on the premises he has approval of.

As you wish.

Good day.

Much more than a drink if you ask me.

I didn't.

Please.

Thank you.

Everything all right?

Yeah, we left him at the safari park. I mean, it's so long since he's seen any

grass, he didn't know what it was.

It was sad.

Really sad.

Poor old boy.

I wish we could have kept him.

He's going to miss us as much as we'll miss him.

Oh, come on, let's all go and have a drink.

Can you fix us up? Well, it's a bit early, but being as you're both

think it'll be all right. Good girl.

OK, our advice came through from the Continental Tour, so here's what we owe

you. Thank you. Great, thanks.

Oh, bloody Lord!

Sorry. Oh, it's you.

Yes, it's me. I'm trying to fix a very nasty bit of damp.

Oh, look, I really am sorry. Are you all right?

Let me get you a drink.

Oh, well, I wouldn't say no. In fact, I'd say there's a very nice -looking

in there.

Oh, right.

Well, it's goodbye to Watson, then. Yeah. Oh, and goodbye, England, for a

weeks. How's that knife -throwing going? All right? Oh, not bad, eh? Well, I've

given up shaving my legs, let's put it like that.

Actually, we've got a fantastic new development of the act.

Yeah. Do you want to see it?

What? Down here?

Yeah. Well, I don't know what Harry would say.

Harry would like to see it as well.

Come on, then, Art.

Let's put our costumes on.

Any chance of borrowing my van, Ken? Certainly, with compliments of an ex

owner. They're not a bad couple, are they?

Especially her.

Oh, you don't notice, do you, Harry?

Well, I must admit, a bit of glamour does brighten the place up.

Thanks very much, Harry.

Oh, Doreen, I didn't mean that.

Now, did I catch... Don't ask me. Hold up.

I suppose you're pretty satisfied with yourself, are you? I am, as a matter of

fact.

Do you know this lot? Yeah, I do.

These are the ones who kidnapped Watson. Why'd you do it? Because I'm fond of

animals, mate, which is a lot more I can say about you.

Where is he?

You don't think I'd bring a lion in here, do you?

Eh? That is where you lot can't get hold of me. All right, should I get the

police?

What, to get rid of this load of rubbish?

No.

Now, listen, lads, I own this place, and I want you out now.

Oh, well, and who's going to throw us out? We are.

A situation like this, the premises could sustain heavy damage.

I don't think so.

Who are you?

Sitting Bull?

No.

I'm the fella who's lying you took.

What do you reckon?

Let's have a go.

I'd like that.

I really would. I'm getting the police out of my way.

No, it's not worth it.

We don't want the police looking into us, do we?

I'd have given you a hand, Mr Crawford.

Have I missed something?

No, nothing of any importance.

You look terrific.

Come on, Braves, back to the moat.

down.