All language subtitles for Bless This House s01e01 The Generation Gap

Thank you.

bathroom.

This is your father speaking.

Oh, love, it's like trying to get
through to another world.

That was quick.

Have you had a shave?

I haven't had anything.

Sometimes I think it'd be quicker to
take a bus down to the barber's. Don't

exaggerate. I'm not exaggerating. The
only way I can make dead sure of getting

into that bathroom in the morning is
sleeping in the bath.

Any natural, Sid.

Any girl Sally's age tends to monopolize
the bathroom.

It's not Sally that's in there. It's
that blasted Mao Zedong.

But you know how particular the Chinese
are about personal hygiene.

He is not Chinese. He's my son.

And he's been in there for nearly an
hour.

He's either retailing it or he's
drowned.

What can he find to do in there for an
hour?

Having the faintest idea.

At least he doesn't sit in the bath
playing dive bombers.

Diet bombers?

I heard you the other day, trying to
sink the sponge with the nail brush.

Just passing the time while I had a
soak, I shall. Yes, dear.

He's been in there long enough. I'm
going to sort him out.

Oh, be careful, Sid.

Remember, he's fitter than you are.

Will you open this door?

Oh, that way to the bathroom.

I'm waiting for the cross -channel
lovercraft.

Mum's upset you?

You've upset me.

Go on.

What a mess.

What a mess you left in there.

What you been doing in there? What do
you think I've been doing in there? The

mind boggles.

And I was your... When I was your age, I
was in and out of there in five

minutes. Quick brush of the teeth, comb
through the air, and that was it.

Well, I'm a bit more particular. In any
case, I was having a bath.

For nearly an hour? Does it take an hour
to have a bath? It does for me.

Oh, blimey, that's heavy, isn't it?
Yeah.

No wonder you couldn't climb out of the
bath.

At least I don't play dive, Bobbitt.

Here, here, come here.

Are you using my bath towel? No, you're
using the airing cupboard. Thank you.

Oh, no!

Sally!

No, no, no! I'm having a fall!

I wonder what they charged me down at
the car wash.

Jean? Just a minute, Fred.

Ten. I'm up to ten.

Congratulations. You're only jealous
because you collapsed after three.

I did not collapse. My wheel buckled.

That's your excuse.

Give me a hand with the bed. Never mind
about the bed.

Look at that.

34, small cup.

It's Sally's.

I didn't think it was yours.

This is nothing to laugh about.

Sally's growing up, or hadn't you
noticed?

It's not the growing up I'm worried
about. It's the growing out.

Pardon? This bra, it's padded.

Well, what about it?

What about it?

Well, it's a 16 -year -old girl wearing
a padded bra for.

To attract 16 -year -old boys.

Now, doesn't anybody in this house talk
sense?

What are you worried about?

Our children. That's what I'm worried
about. There is nothing wrong with our

children. They're just like any other
children. Well, I still think... Excuse

me, ma 'am. Just bring you back the
hairspray and nail varnish I borrowed.

Thanks, ma 'am.

Nail varnish?

Nail... What's he doing with nail
varnish?

He puts it on his medallion. Stops it
from getting tarnished.

Oh.

What's he put in the air lacquer on
then?

I'm very worried about that boy.

Not again.

Oh, I wish he was more of a man's man.

A man's man?

Yeah, well, let's face it. He's not very
manly, is he?

What are you implying?

I'm not implying anything.

I mean, he never goes into the boozer.

Doesn't like football.

Never has a punch -up.

He's a pacifist.

That's no excuse.

Tell me, has he ever brought a bird
home?

Oh, give him time, Sid.

Time? He's 18.

At his age, he should be at it every
night with a different bird.

I find your attitude very inconsistent.

Not two minutes ago, you were worried
sick about Sally trying to attract the

opposite sex, and here you are saying
that Mike should have a different girl

every night.

Yeah, well, he's a boy, isn't he?

It's different for boys. They can't get
into trouble.

Oh, I see.

It's all right for our son to be
promiscuous.

Of course it is.

It's only natural.

It is not natural.

Of course it's natural.

When I was his age, I had more... Yes,
didn't he?

I won't do him any harm or so.

You said I was the first girl you'd ever
touched. Yeah, well, you were, darling.

And since... Look, we're not discussing
my sex life. We're discussing the son's.

I wonder if I could get him fixed up.

Fixed up?

Yeah, we got this new bird at the
office.

Hot pants, they call her.

Beg your pardon? Angela, Angela.

Hot pants? No, no, Angela, that's what
the fellas call her, Angela. They call

her that at the office. Well, I never
see her, do I? I'm out on the road most

the time, aren't I?

Yes, and he'd do all right, yeah.

I think he should leave Mike to find his
own friend.

He found his own friend, so look at him.

Cedric and Fred or somebody.

They're in a couple of nights, boys.

That's the trouble, they're boys.

Don't you realise we could have a very
serious problem here?

There wasn't any problem till you
started to worry about it. Well,

got to worry. And after all, I am his
father.

That's it.

I shall go and have a talk to him. Man
to man, father to son.

He wants a bit of straightening up,
that's all.

Well, be careful how you do it.

Last time you went to straighten him
out, you were on tranquilisers for a

I am going to find out if he's got
something on his mind.

Well, if you're going, give him these.

Beats!

Don't tell me he's wearing your beads
now.

No. I've been wearing his.

Come in.

Oh.

Yes, I... I brought your beads back.

Oh, thanks.

Was there anything else, Dad? Yes, I...
I thought we might...

Have a little chat.

About what?

Life. Whose life?

Oh, anybody's, you know.

Life. You're not making very much sense,
you know, Dad.

Michael, I am your father and you are my
son.

And between a father and his son is a
very special relationship.

Father, son.

That's it, yeah. That's it. I knew you'd
get it. I knew you'd understand it.

Well, if you have any special sort of
problems, I would like you to know that

you can come to me.

Thanks, Dad.

That's all right. Don't thank me, son. I
mean, after all, that's what a father's

for, isn't it?

Now then, have you any special problem
that you would like to discuss with me?

No, I don't think so.

You sure?

Well, it must be something. I mean, you
don't have to hide anything from me.

After all, I am your father.

So you keep saying, Dad. Yes, well, I
am, am I?

Am I? Yes, I am. Of course I am. Here,
listen.

Listen. Is there anything?

Well, as a matter of fact, there is
something. I knew it. I knew it. Hang

Just a minute.

Here we are. That is just us two men of
the world, right?

What is it?

You did say anything.

Anything, any little thing. I mean, I'm
not here to judge. I'm only here to

help. What is it? Could you lend me two
quid?

Lend you two quid? Is that all?

Well, if you could make it three.

I don't mean that kind of thing, you
fool. I mean, that's just not a problem.

Well, it is to me, Dad. I'm broke and
I'm supposed to be going out tonight.

Who is? Gene Fletcher.

Gene Fletcher? I don't think I've met
him. No, we met last week at the

Embassy. What were you doing at the
American Embassy?

Throwing stones.

I shouldn't have asked.

Anyway, that's where we met, and Jean
didn't know London very well, so I

we'd go out to town and have a nosh.

Jean Fletcher. Yeah, Jean Fletcher.

Jean Fletcher, eh? Yeah.

Jean! Yeah. Oh, yes. Well, here, you
sure three quid's enough, you can have a

fiver. A fiver? Yes, a fiver. You all
right, there? Of course I'm all right.

take a fiver, mate, and get out there
and have a ball.

You and Jean.

Hoffman on the top of the post office
tower.

Shall we start again, or would you like
a clip around the ear?

We're going to Chislehurst Caves. A gang
of us from the club.

Well, take your coat.

I'm not cold, Mum.

Do as you're told.

All right.

And another thing, that padded bra.

What about it? Your father doesn't like
it.

Well, tell him not to wear it.

Sally, your father worries.

What's he worrying about my bra for?

You know how old -fashioned he is. He
seems to think you're...

I should be so lucky.

Sally, don't aggravate him.

I'll show him what a flaunt is.

What are you doing?

Squeezers. Squeezers?

I could call the riot tonight.

Oi. Yes, sir? Take them out.

Spoilsport.

I don't think that was very funny.

Your face was.

She was getting too preoccupied with
breasts.

Yeah, and we know where she gets that
from.

What do you mean by that?

Never mind.

How'd you get on with Michael? Oh, he's
all right. Don't have to worry about

him. I haven't even started. He's taking
a bird out tonight. Good.

Somebody called Jean Fletcher. Not so
good.

Why? Jean Fletcher's an American.

Oh, that's all right. I'm not
prejudiced.

She's a he.

A he.

A male he.

The name's Eugene.

a fiver and told him to have a good
time.

I'm going to phone up and straight off
to breakfast.

What are you going to say to her?

Angela, dear, could you pop round this
evening?

We'd like you to seduce our son.

I won't be so polite.

Why don't you leave the boy alone and
stop fussing? Somebody's got to fuss.

while we're on it.

Please don't leave those lying about.

What are you talking about?

Your pills.

You know what pills they pill.

They aren't mine.

Well, they're certainly not mine.

Mine are in the dressing table drawer.
Oh, don't be ridiculous. Who else in

house could possibly be on a pill?

wait till she gets back, that's all.

This week's recipe sounds nice. It's
Greek.

Minced meat rolled in vine leaves.

Sixteen years old and on the pill.

Where do you buy vine leaves?

Where could she have got them?

I've never seen any in the supermarket.

I should hope not.

What is this, a new herbal
contraceptive?

I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm discussing stuffed vine leaves.

Stuffed vine leaves? What about the vine
leaves? What about our daughter?

Who, what about her?

How can you keep so calm?

Who, what about?

What about them?

Followers, boys.

Men, they only take a girl out for one
thing.

What thing's that?

Oh, blimey.

You know very well what thing that is.

A bit of the other.

Stop being so blooming awkward.

You know very well what I mean. A fella
only takes a girl out for one reason,

and if he says he doesn't, he's a liar.

Is that why you took me out, Sidney?

Of course not.

Liar. The very first time we went out,
the very first time you tried it on.

I never touched you.

No, but it wasn't for the one to try in.

Well, a fat lot of good it did me.

Anyway, we're not talking about us.
We're talking about Sally.

Well, Sally knows all about the other,
as you put it.

She does?

You've marked her card, then?

Didn't need to. She's done it at school.

She what?

They did it in biology.

Human reproduction with illustrated
slides.

Illustrated slides?

Oh, bloody, they're marvellous. All they
ever showed us was tadpoles.

Education is a little more advanced
today.

Yes, isn't it?

I'm surprised I don't make it a subject
for GCE.

I can just see them writing in for a
job. Yes, sir. I have four O levels.

Maths, English, French and crumpet.

Well, I think it's a good thing.

I'd rather Sally found out about sex in
a classroom than in the back row of a

cinema.

It's not the lessons I'm worried about.
It's the homework.

You change your tune if she should come
home with a bun in the oven.

She can't get a bun in the oven. She's
on the pill, remember?

Oh, dear.

What's happening to the world? My
daughter's on the pill and my son's

with a ballet dancer.

Well, there's one thing I can do
something about.

Where are you going?

To phone hot pants.

I think you're making a big mistake,
Sid.

It's all right. I'll handle this. Don't
worry.

That's what I'm worried about.

Hello. Thanks.

Angela?

Thank you.

This is Mr. Abbott.

Yes. I wonder if you could do me a big
favour and slip round to my house

tomorrow morning about 11 o 'clock.

Yeah, well, it's rather personal and
private.

I'll tell you when you get here.

Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you
very much. Ta -ta.

Well, let's sort that out.

Hope you know what you're doing. I do.

Just five minutes of hot pants and
you'll forget about ballet dancers for

Hello!

Just a minute.

In here, please.

Yes, Daddy, did you want something?

Yes, you.

Sit down, please, next to your mother.

Your father wants to talk to you. What
have I done now?

Oh, you found them.

Is that all you can say?

Can I have...

You cannot have them back.

They're going straight in the dustbin.

Where'd you get them from?

The school clinic.

Oh, that's nice. The school clinic.
What'll I be dishing out next?

I don't know why you're making such a
fuss.

And I don't know why you're behaving
like this. Now, now, sit. No, no, Jean.

This has got to be said, and I'm going
to say it.

Sal, we have been very good parents to
you.

You live in a lovely home.

You always have everything at the best.

We never forget your birthday.

And this is how you repay it.

you behaving like this? Why do you have
to take these?

Look, for a headache.

Oh.

I've heard them call a few things about
headaches.

Yes, they're a new kind of aspirin.

Aspirin?

Well done, Sid.

What did you call them for?

Well, I didn't think they were for
anything. Did you think they were for

anything?

Can I have them back now?

You can't have them back now.

Oh, you're not. Still going to throw
them in the dustbin. No.

I'm going to take them.

How's the super salesman done this week?

Marvellous. Two hundred quid up in last
week.

Good. Put a tea in the kitchen when
you're ready.

Thank you.

Here we go then. Nine points.

One and four. Two and three. Three and
three. Four and two.

Four and two. Four and two. Phone!

Four and two.

Four and two.

Phone's ringing.

Oh no! It's ringing.

Four and two.

Answer it, please, darling. Four and
two.

Four and two.

Two and four. Oh, God.

Ninepence. One and four. Two and three.
Three and three. Four and two. It's for

you. Oh. Well, take a message, please.

Oh, right.

Ninepence.

One and four. Two and three. Three and
three. Four and two.

It was Mr. Harker about his order. Oh,
blimey, I did it.

He should have got it yesterday.

500 packets of carbon paper and six
swivel -back chairs.

What's his trouble?

Getting into his office.

Eh? They've just delivered six packets
of carbons and 500 typist chairs.

Oh, blimey, marvellous. You see that
bloomin' office? They send you out, you

work yourself to death, you get somebody
to get behind a desk, makes a mess of

the old thing. He's got his copy of the
invoice, there it is, black and white.

Six packets of carbons, five... 500
typist kids.

I'll have a cup of that tea, thank you
very much.

Here. That must be Angela.

Now let her in, leave me alone with her
for five minutes, and then call Mike.

And don't argue.

Never said a word.

Mrs. Hubbard, I'm Angela.

Oh, good, come in.

You didn't mind me phoning you? Not at
all, I'm looking forward to it. Well,

in the living room.

And you know what to do. Leave it all to
me. When I finish with him, he won't do

any more fixing up. Give me a coat.

Remember,

dear, you're only acting.

Sid, it's Angela.

Oh, coming, Angela. Hello, Mr Abbott.

Thank you, Mr Abbott.

Let's not be formal. We're not at the
office. Call me Sid.

Oh, all right, Sid.

I suppose you're wondering why I asked
you to come round this morning. You

haven't run out of order books again,
have you?

No, this is nothing to do with work,
really.

Oh. As a matter of fact, it's personal,
really.

Yes, Sid.

I hope you won't take offence.

I could never take offence at you, Sid.

Yes, well...

Not quite sure how to say it.

You don't have to say anything, Sid.

I can see it in your eyes.

Pardon?

You fancy me, don't you?

You what?

I knew it. Now, carry that. I've always
been attracted to older men. Now, wait a

minute, please.

Darling. Now, will you shut up? Your
gene will hear you.

Don't worry, Sid. I don't expect you to
leave your wife.

Thank you very much. That's very nice.

Just as long as you love me, that'll be
enough. That's enough. Now, carry that.

Come on. That's enough of that. Come on.

my place? No, you're going to your
place. I'm staying here.

Where will I see you again, darling? At
the office on Monday morning.

Doesn't it be wonderful? Yeah, it's
marvellous. Stand up.

Is she in the... She's gone.

Gone? Gone.

Why? Why?

Why is she gone?

Why is she gone? I think your needle's
stuck. You must know why she left, eh?

Well, of course I know why she left. I
mean, she left because... Is that the

phone? No.

Well, she left because she remembered
she had another date.

And I don't feel very well. I'm going to
have a lie down.

I don't really think hot pants would
have been right for you, dear.

Hello, dear. Feeling better?

Yes, thank you.

It's been a funny sort of a day, hasn't
it?

Yes, I think it has.

Where's Darby and Joan?

Sally's gone to the pictures with her
girlfriend and Mike's gone to Jean's.

Jean's? The ballet dancer?

Yes, they're going to a concert, all
four of them.

Four of them?

How many ballet dancers is he knocking
about with?

He isn't knocking about with any.

Mike and Jean are taking a couple of
girls.

Girls?

Girl, girl?

Nurses?

Oh, well,

he'll be all right there. He'll
definitely get his... Sidney.

Yes.

Well, you can relax now. Nothing else to
worry about.

Well, there is one thing.

What?

Angela.

What about Angela?

Well, you're never going to believe
this, and I don't want you to get upset

about it, because I have never laid a
finger on a girl. I've never given her

kind of encouragement at all.

You trying to tell me something?

Angela is madly in love with me.

Get away.

Well, we're going to have a shocking
problem here, you know that?

Of course, some girls can't help it. You
know, they go for us older men.

Well, I mean, we're more mature, you
see, and more experienced.

Well, some of us are, you know.

And then the nurses, they're going out
with us.

Yes.

Well, I hope they know what they're
doing, because I must assure Mike does.

Did he have illustrated slides at
school?

Oh, come to bed.

No, no, no, I think I'll just stay up
and wait for him to get up. I think we

ought to have a little chat.

Thank you.