All language subtitles for heartbeat_s03ep07_father_s_day

R .B. Why do you miss when my baby
kisses me?

R .B. Why does a love kiss stay in my
memory?

You're driving me crazy.

What did I do?

Oh, what did I do?

My tears for you make everything easier.

What are you up to out here, Claude?

Minding me own.

But if you must know, I'm doing an old
pal a favour.

Do you mind telling me something?

What? Why is it all you coppers have got
such nasty, suspicious minds?

Well, that's because of all the nasty,
suspicious characters we have to deal

with.

Right, son, hey, don't talk to any
strangers.

You...

You're driving me crazy.

What did I do to you?

Morning, Sergeant Blakeney.

Oh, wait. Go on.

What's your game, then?

Mrs. Touch, is it?

It's not Tom Hicks.

Very good.

Arthur asked me to give this.

Arthur asked you?

Arthur, your husband, before he died,
like.

Oh, obviously.

Not a bill, is it?

No, no, it's something you can take
advantage of.

What? Come here.

You'll never go to heaven, Claude.

Read this.

From my dad.

It's Karen here, Doctor.

Over these last few weeks, I just don't
know what happened to her. Honest to

God, I don't. I've told you, Mum.

There's nothing wrong with me. Yes,
there is, Doctor.

She can't sleep. She's not eating.

She must have lost at least half her
stoning weight.

Because I've been trying to lose weight.

That's why.

It doesn't look to me as if you need to
lose any weight at all, Karen.

Let me take your blood pressure.

Take your jacket off.

There's nothing wrong with my blood
pressure.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Well, then there's nothing to worry
about, is there? Just turn your hand

I mean, it's just stupid, is this?

Fine.

If you'd like to wait outside, please,
Karen.

How's she been of herself lately, Mrs
Fletcher?

I mean, has she been sleepy or
depressed?

Excessively talkative, perhaps?

Oh, very talkative, yes.

Usually you can't get more than two
words a day out of her, but just lately

can't seem to shut her up.

Is she moody at all? Oh, up and down
like a yo -yo.

One minute she's full of it and the next
ready to bite your head off over

nothing.

You haven't found anything in her room,
have you?

What sort of thing?

Paper wrappings, powders, pills.

Well, as a matter of fact, there was
something I found when I was doing a

out last week.

Oh, yes?

Black bombers?

That's what they sounded like from the
way Mrs Fletcher described them.

What did Karen have to say?

She told her mum they were a new tablet
her school pals were using to help with

their periods.

Mrs Fletcher didn't like the sound of
that, so she flushed them down the

That's a pity.

So what did Karen have to say?

She stuck to her story.

There's not much we can do about it, is
there?

Except keep an eye on the situation.

I'll drop in on them in a couple of
days, and if she's still showing any of

same symptoms, I'll pass it over to you
officially.

All right.

How old is she?

14.

Going on 35.

They're getting younger.

I know.

They like them.

Oh, my gosh.

I really think we should get you over to
casualty. I told you, Kate, the helmet

took the force of most of it. Yeah, but
you could still have concussion.

Well, if I have, there's a doctor in the
house, isn't there?

How bad is it, anyway?

Well, there's a big crack down the
middle with the odd bit of brain tissue

glistening through.

Apart from that.

All right, it looked a lot worse than it
was, but I still think you should have

an X -ray.

I've had worse than this playing
football.

Better safe than sorry.

If I've got any sort of headache
tomorrow, I'll go straight to the

right? And you've no idea who it was?

No, all I saw was stars.

We've never had grave robbers in
Aidensfield.

Ow!

All a bit gruesome, eh?

I don't suppose you've any idea why this
particular grave might have been

singled out.

Do you think that it was?

It wasn't just a random attack.

Well, it's impossible to say, really.

Poor Mr. Such was only buried a couple
of days ago, you know.

Really? Oh, yes.

Conducted the service myself.

Was he a parishioner?

Only in the very loosest sense, I
suppose.

He wasn't exactly what you might call a
regular attender.

He was a pig farmer, you know.

209 pence. All right.

Mind you, he was into muckier things
than pigs in his day, was our late and

unlamented Arthur Such.

He was what you'd call known to it,
wasn't he, darling? You could say that,

Rowan. Petty larceny, receiving, you
name it.

I reckon he'd have gone on the game with
Arthur, if he'd found anyone that

fancied him.

Yeah, well, Betty must have fancied him.
Ah, she was just desperate. Who's

Betty? Mrs. Arthur Such, the grieving
widow.

Ah, better known as Sweaty Betty. By
anyone unlucky enough to stand downwind

her. Well, who do you want to take our
husband up?

Well, why don't you ask her, Rowan?

She'll need informing anyway about
what's happened.

Carry on.

He's done it again.

Yeah?

Uh, PC Rowan, Aidensfield Police.

It's Mrs Sutton.

Barn.

Beg your pardon?

Preparing feed for pigs.

Oh.

Well, I hope you're proud of yourself.

That's what I hope.

Me, Mrs Satch?

Well, it is what you get paid for, isn't
it? Keeping the peace round here.

Not making much of a job of it, are you?

Even the dead can't rest in peace any
more.

I don't suppose you've any idea who
might have done it?

Me?

Well, what I mean is, did your husband
have any enemies who might have been

responsible?

Enough to fill Wembley Stadium, lovey.

But as far as I know...

There were never any body snatchers
amongst them.

Well, if you do think of anyone, let me
know, eh?

I will.

We should have finished job last night
while we had the chance.

What? After you nearly -brained PC -49
yonder, you mean?

And as for that low -life fad of yours,
if he thinks he's had the last laugh on

me... Think again, Arthur.

Think again.

Leave it alone.

And that

was

Freedom and the Dreamers.

And here's another one you won't
remember.

Billy J. Kramer and that to me.

I'll be seven blue.

Don't you ever leave me.

I'm so in love with you.

The birds in the sky would be sad and
lonely if they knew that I'd lost my...

Something's dying.

Remember, move quietly.

And here I'll stay.

Here I'll stay.

Well, that's all, kiddie winkies.

This is Tiny Weed and Thane. Night,
night. Sleep tight.

Watch the bugs don't bite.

Right, come on, you lot. Off your bums.

Evening, Gina.

Hi, Nick.

You just coming off, are you? I should
be so lucky.

George still away, is he?

Till Friday, yeah.

You coping okay?

Just about.

All quiet on the Western Front, is it?

It's been deafening tonight.

Oh, Nicholas.

You got anybody for it yet?

What? That job somebody did on my pal's
grave.

You knew Arthur Such, did you? No, I go
back a long way.

We had some good laughs together. A
right little so -and -so he was, I can

you. As long as you watch your pockets,
eh?

You could say that, yeah.

Well, I don't suppose you've any idea
who might have done it. Me?

Well, seeing as you're a friend of the
family.

No, I said I was a friend of Arthur's.

Not a friend of the family.

I mean, have you seen his missus?

Can you imagine Big Betty grabbing hold
of you in the middle of the night?

No wonder he went to an early grave.

Now then, lad.

It's not dead, is he?

Knocked himself out, I reckon.

Go on, get it.

Come on, let's get out of here.

A man's been hurt.

Send someone quick, will you? I think he
might be dead.

Send someone where, though?

Behind the village hall.

Who's speaking, please?

Hello?

Hello?

How is he, Kate?

You won't get any sense out of him
tonight. He's out of danger, but he's

concussed. There must be something in
the air round here this week.

Obviously.

Who is he?

Tiny Whedon. He's a disc jockey.

Do you know him?

Well, I know half of him. His name's on
a poster down the village hall.

So who did you get the phone call from?

A young girl.

She wouldn't give her name.

Someone from the disco?

Could have been.

The voice sounded familiar somehow.

Well, why didn't she give you her name?

Didn't want to get involved.

Which probably means she was involved in
somewhere, I know.

How's your head?

Aidensfield Police.

Yes, Mr. Sims.

What, again?

They nicked his shroud.

It wasn't a shroud he was buried in,
Sarge.

It was his best suit. And they took
that?

No, Sarge, just his trousers.

Well, I knew things were getting bad,
but I'd no idea anyone out there was

desperate.

You're not really going to burn a man,
are you?

A pair of trousers, aren't these?

What did you have in mind?

Going down a pub in them?

Well, we could sell them, couldn't we?

Don't you realise it's incriminating
evidence?

It seems such a waste, that's all.

So do 18 months.

when you're spending them behind bars.

Give them here, you jacked up!

Mum, it's that copper again.

I had a funny feeling it might be.

It's coming to summer, eh?

When they're even robbing the dead now.

Not that I'm surprised, mind you.

No?

Oh, no.

People have no respect for the living or
the dead these days.

Far as I'm concerned, the rock set in
after that lady Chatterley, the

Have you read it?

It's disgusting, honestly.

I'll have to take your word for that,
Mrs Such.

Oh, you aren't, you know.

They've got a copy down the library.

There's a bit of a waiting list, mind.

So you've no idea who might have wanted
to nick your late husband's trousers?

He!

But you will keep asking me these daft
questions, won't you, Lovie?

The trousers did match the jacket he was
buried in. How would I know?

What, me dressed him?

Well, you must have seen what he was
wearing.

Lovie, I couldn't stand the sight of him
when he were alive, so there were no

way I was going to look at him when he
were dead.

Right. Okay.

Thanks very much.

You're welcome.

But aren't our police wonderful?

Who's laughing now, then, Arthur?

Who was it undressed me when I was
brought in last night?

Matter of fact, I did.

Oh, not a pretty sight, right?

You said it.

Thank you.

Um, what happened to my clothes?

Weren't thinking of leaving, were you?

No, no. I just wanted something out of
one of my coat pockets, that was all.

I promised not to decamp.

Right.

What a pity you could not be easygoing
too.

All those other guys you stepped out to
see

didn't worry easygoing me.

Hello.

Oh, hello Doctor.

How are you?

Nicely, thanks.

And Karen?

Oh, she's much better, thanks.

Back to her old self, really.

That's good.

Hello, Karen.

Hi.

Your mum tells me you're feeling a lot
better now.

I told you.

There were never anything wrong with me
in the first place.

See you.

Twenty words for one they have these
days, don't they?

Does Karen ever go dancing?

Just stamp disco at Billy Chaw.

Lost something, have you, Mr Weedon?

Er, no. No, all seems to be here.

Thank you.

Mr Weedon?

Yes? PC Rowan, Aidensfield Police.

Oh, right.

You feeling fit enough for a bit of a
chat?

Yeah, but I don't remember much about
it, mind.

You remember being attacked?

Oh, aye.

Jumped on by these three lads.

How old were they?

Teenagers. You know, 16, something like
that.

So what happened?

Well, I'd just finished my gig.

I was on my way back to the van.

And all of a sudden, there they were.

And what did they say?

Nothing.

Well, they just laid into you.

Well, put it this way, I could see
that's what they had in mind.

So I legged it like only I must have
tripped up or something.

The next thing I remember is being here.

Did you recognise them?

No, too dark to say.

Had there been much trouble back at the
disco?

No, there's never any trouble at my
discos.

So why did they ever go at you?

Well, I suppose it could have been my
wallet.

They might have known I was carrying. I
always insist on being paid in cash.

But they didn't take it?

Probably too scared, I reckon, when they
saw the state I was in.

Did they take anything else?

Nothing, no.

You know, it was a young girl that
called us.

I didn't know that, no.

I don't suppose you've any idea who it
might be.

Let me put it this way, officer. She
certainly wasn't with me.

Could you tell me why you want to see
the bank manager, please?

Our safe deposit box.

I believe we do have one with you.

When's the last time I looked in it? It
were empty.

Maybe you could just hold on for a
moment, please.

Oh, they really fancy themselves.

Just because they come to work in a
frock.

Mrs. Fudge.

That's correct.

And this is my son, Simon.

Now, as far as this deposit box of yours
is concerned, I shall, of course, need

proof of identity.

Oh.

I think you'll find it all there.

We shall also need the appropriate key.

Right. If you'd both like to come this
way, please.

Right, Mrs. Such.

I'll leave you to it. Thank you.

Goldfinger.

He's the man, the man with the mightiest
touch.

A spider's touch.

Such a cold finger.

Blimey, Mum.

We're rich.

Karen Fletcher.

Eh? The young girl who rang, it was
Karen Fletcher.

What, the girl who had the amphetamines?
Yeah, and according to her mother, she

was at the disco.

So what was she doing hanging around the
back of the village hall at that time

of night?

And when you rang, why didn't you give
my wife your name, Karen?

Cos it wasn't me who rang, that's why.

But you were at the disco?

Wife, I was.

And when you left the disco, did you go
straight home?

Yeah. What time was that?

11 o 'clock, something like that.

And how long did it take to walk home?
About five minutes?

Suppose so.

The disco finished at half past ten.

So?

So, if you'd have come straight home,
you'd have been home by 22 .11 at the

latest.

Suppose so.

Is that what time she arrived home, Mrs
Fletcher?

No, it wasn't.

What time was it?

Well, it was certainly after 11.

How would you know, ma 'am? You were in
bed.

But not asleep, Karen.

I can never get off till I know you're
in safely.

It was you that rang us, wasn't it,
Karen?

Look, it's got nothing to do with me,
all right?

Tell me what you saw.

I just found him, that's all.

You know Tiny Whedon, do you?

From the disco.

That's all. All the kids do.

And what about the kids who attacked
him? Do you know them as well?

That's what this is about, isn't it,
Karen? Not splitting on your mates. They

aren't mates.

You do know them.

Look, they didn't really do anything to
him. He banged his own head.

And then they just ran off, did they?

After they'd gone through his pockets.

Did they find anything?

They took something, yeah.

What are their names, Karen?

One of them's called Graham.

Graham what?

I don't know.

I just dance with him sometimes, that's
all.

Well, you must speak to him.

Sometimes.

What about?

Music, school.

He's still at school, is he?

Yeah.

Which school?

Two large rums.

Thank you.

And what's over this fellow's having?

Very kind of you, Mrs Dutch.

What are you going to have, Claude?

I'll have a small whisky with you.

You'll have a large whisky with me.

All right.

Put it in with a little of... You and my
Arthur were pals, were you?

Well, not exactly pals, no. More like
acquaintances, you know.

Oh, but he must have liked you, to have
given you that letter for me.

Oh, well, you know what that is. Like,
he's a bit like me. He liked everybody.

Say what he did like, and that were a
drink.

Right.

Oh, well, we... We had some good times
together, right? You know, he liked to

laugh.

But is he laughing now, though? I mean,
that is the question.

Eh? Eh?

Eh?

Don't eat the blue ones, they're salty.

Why, Ratty, put a couple of bottles of
rum in as well, will you, love?

Right. Party time, is it?

Join us if you like, there's plenty.

No, I'd better not. I've got a bit of
business on yarn. I need a nice clear

head.

This stuff's a lot cheaper at the off
-licence, you know.

Don't you worry about that, my girl.

In that case, the beer and the rum.

That's just £19, please.

There you are. Keep the change.

Thanks very much.

Shall we come and tempt you then,
Claude?

No, no, I'd better not, thank you. In
that case, I'll see you when I see you

then.

Not if I see you first.

Mind you, not a bad bit of business for
a quiet dinner time, eh? Not bad at all.

This experiment is called a
neutralisation experiment. That's Graham

over there, you see?

Doing the experiment.

Blaketon, did you say?

That's the only Graham we have in 6A.

That wouldn't be Sergeant Blaketon's
son, would it?

I believe his father is a policeman,
yes.

Over at Ashfordly.

of a mess, isn't it?

I didn't even know he was married.

Don't you start.

There's a lot you youngsters don't know.

Right, Rowan, my office.

Best keep our heads down, I reckon.

Sarge, all I had was a first name and
the class he was in at school.

If I'd have known it was your lad, I'd
have been on to you straight away.

Nobody's criticising you, Rowan.

Where have you got him?

Not in the cells, I hope.

In the interview room.

Right.

Well, there's no way I can handle this,
so get on to division, explain the

situation, and tell them to send someone
to take over.

Right, Sarge. One question before you
do.

How certain are you that Graham is
involved?

Well, the girl was very certain, Sarge.

What do you think they're all?

Well, from the look on his face when his
headmaster called him over.

So, what's he had to say for himself so
far?

Well, nothing yet.

He lives with his mother, you see.

and Joan we split up some years ago.

Has she been informed yet?

On her way now.

Right.

Well, when she gets here, tell Ventus to
wheel her in to see me.

Yeah?

Right, Sarge.

I'm sorry about all this, aren't you?

Yeah.

Hello, Gina.

Hiya. Is Nick in?

Not at the moment, no.

I can get hold of him, though, if it's
urgent.

Well, I suppose it is, really.

Come in.

So, what's the problem?

Well, these are.

I don't know what George is going to say
when he gets back.

Counterfeit?

I don't suppose you know who passed
them?

All right. On my way.

All happening again, is it? Over in
Aidensfield?

You don't know the alphabet, Phil.

I'll see you later.

OK.

Al?

All right, Nick.

Excuse me?

Oh, it's Mrs.

Blaketon, isn't it?

Forrester now, actually.

Oh, yes, of course.

I believe you're holding my son here.

Yes, Mrs. Forrester.

Can somebody please tell me what all
this is about?

Well, I think that Sergeant Blaketon
would like to have a word.

If you'd like to come this way, please.

Charge, Mrs. Forrester.

Would you kindly explain to me what's
going on here?

Well, if you'd like to take a seat for a
minute, I'll tell you.

Well.

Well.

It is difficult.

Last night, there was a disco on in
Aidensfield.

And afterwards, on the way back to his
van, the man that was running it was

attacked by three youths.

And we reason to believe that Graham
might have been one of them.

What?

You're not serious?

It's hardly something I joke about now,
is it?

But Graham would never do anything like
that.

Where was he last night?

Out with his friends.

Where? I don't know, do I? I don't keep
track of his every movement. We have a

witness, you see. Says he was involved.

I don't care if you've got ten
witnesses.

Has he admitted that he was?

Not so far, no.

Well, there you are, then.

Not necessarily, Joan.

What are you saying, Oscar?

That you believe he was involved?

I don't know.

Well, what are you going to do about it?

Look, I'm not even handling this.

How can I, under the circumstances?

Well, who is handling it? Well, they've
made arrangements for someone from

Division to take over.

Oh, yes.

And have you made any arrangements yet?

For him to have any kind of legal
representation?

No. Well, why haven't you... I was only
brought in half an hour ago.

Besides, I've no idea who your solicitor
is these days.

I want to see him.

Now.

Right.

Well, just one final thing before you
do.

Oh?

If he really is involved, can I suggest
that you advise him to make a clean

breast of it?

It can only help his cause later on.

You really don't change, do you, Oscar?

What's that supposed to mean?

That's still the only thing that really
matters to you, isn't it?

Getting a conviction.

Do you really believe that?

Well, why not?

It's how it always was with you.

Ridiculous. Also unfair.

I want to see my son.

Melanie, show Mrs. Forrester the
interview room.

Right, Judge.

Would you like to come this way?

What a mess.

Drink, drink, drink to eyes that are
bright as stars when they're shining on

Drink, drink, drink to lips that are red
and sweet as the fruit on the tree.

Can I have a word, please, Mrs Such?

What about?

These.

It's a set -up, is this?

We've been framed.

Framed by who, Mrs Such?

Oh, by him, of course.

That twisted little husband of mine.

Just typical of that one, is this?
Typical.

Well, he's only been dead for just over
a week.

Well, of course.

He wanted this to happen after you were
dead, when he knew I couldn't get my

hands on him.

Well, I'm afraid you've lost me, Mrs
Such.

Well, we've no idea they're notes for
counterfeit, right?

So you tell me.

Well, obviously we didn't.

I mean, if we had, you don't think we'd
have been stupid enough to go spending

them round here, do you?

I don't know.

You'd be amazed at just how stupid your
average criminal can be sometimes.

Now, who are you calling an average
criminal?

If he was a criminal, he'd be a little
git. By leaving it to us in the first

place.

So that money was left to you, was it?

Well, not exactly left to us as such.

Huh? What Sire means is, when he said he
left it, what he means is, he left it

lying about like, where he knew he'd
find it.

Lying around where?

Here, of course.

What, in the house?

Oh, yes.

If I understood it, your husband hasn't
been anywhere near this house for nearly

two years.

Well, there's life of work to come round
here.

Wasn't that a bit stupid of him?

How do you mean, stupid like?

Well... If he'd have wanted you to find
that money after he was dead, how could

he be sure you wouldn't find it before
he was dead?

Well, you'd better hand the rest of that
cash back.

I'll take charge of it for now.

Right, well, I'll be back.

When the rest of our inquiries are
completed.

Well, you can't charge us anything.

Who says?

I say.

Because all we did was try and spend the
money.

We've no idea them notes are wrong,
then.

Well,

let's just see, shall we?

Oh, I wish he were still alive so I
could kill him with me bare hands.

Hang on a minute, though.

He weren't in on this on his own, were
he?

Weren't he?

Of course he weren't.

He still needed some help to get his
rotten letter delivered.

Oh, yeah.

Can you charge the Thatchers with
anything?

Well, we could do.

Whether we will or not is something
else.

I need to have a chat with Blaketon once
we find out what's happening with

Graham.

Not that that's going to be easy.

Why do you say that?

Well, according to young Karen, the lad
to the... attacked weed and took

something from him.

And when I spoke to him, he said nothing
had been taken.

So why would a bloke who's been robbed
insist he hadn't been?

Because he couldn't admit to having what
he loved.

Yeah, right.

Do you think it could have been drugs?

Well, Karen, actually, I've got the
amphetamines from somewhere.

The disco seems to be the logical place.

And she was hanging around outside.

It's the case.

Any sign of that lot from Division yet?

They're on the way, Sarge.

Oh, Sarge, can I have a word, please?

Yeah, of course.

It's going through hell, isn't it?

So what are you suggesting now, Rowan?

That these kids were after drugs?

Well, it certainly wasn't money, Sarge.
They ignored his wallet full of cash.

Terrific. What do you want?

The truth. That's what I want.

You don't have to tell him anything,
Graham.

Not till your solicitor gets here.

Oh, for God's sake, woman.

I'm here as his father, not a copper.

That does still give me some rights,
doesn't it?

Were you after drugs?

Were you?

Just a minute.

What drugs?

We reason to believe that Whedon was a
drug dealer supplying the kids at the

disco.

That doesn't mean our Graham had
anything to do with that.

Why else was he lying in wait for him?

Graham.

Was he, wasn't he?

Lying in wait behind a village hall.

Not for the drugs, Dad.

Not to use myself anyway.

But you took some of him. To destroy
them, that's all.

Destroy them?

Look, we knew Whedon was supplying some
of the younger kids with drugs, right?

So? So we decided to warn him off.

Reckon the best way of doing that was
nicking his supply.

And give him a bit of a belting while we
were at it.

You expect me to believe that? It's the
truth, Dad.

Honest, it is.

You never thought of reporting him to
the police?

Letting them deal with it.

None of the kids wanted us to do that in
case they got into trouble.

Are you surprised?

He had no faith in the law.

Let's face it, why should he have?

After what he's seen, it's done to our
lives. Mum!

Well, it's true.

Rowan, get on to the hospital and find
out if that Whedon character's been

discharged yet.

If he has, he can't have got far.

Division will want a word with him.

Right, Donch.

I want you to do something to stop this,
Oscar.

Now. Don't be stupid, Joan.

It's a well -known fact that police take
care of their own when they have to.

More of a well -known fallacy, really.

There must be some strings you can pull,
the years you've put in.

I mean, you heard what Graham said.

Why they did what they did.

I'm sure that'll be taken into
consideration.

That they took the law into their own
hands, you see.

And that happens to be against the law.

The law.

The law ruined my life. That's what the
law did.

Now it's going to ruin his.

If there was one single thing I could do
about this, I would.

But there will be an investigation.

He may be charged.

I don't know.

But in spite of what happened between
you and me, Joan, I am still his father.

And I love him.

Love?

What do you know about love, Oscar?

When were you ever a father to him? You
were never there when he needed you,

ever. You were always too busy working,
always on duty.

Well, now he doesn't need you.

He's got me.

Oh, let's just keep it that way, shall
we?

What's going to happen to Graham?

That depends whether the court believes
his story or not.

So it's going to court, then?

Mm.

Poor old Blaketon.

What do you want this time of night?

Police protection.

Who from?

Sweaty Betty Such.

From all I can gather, she's looking for
me all over Aliensfield. Can I come in?

You're not frightened of a woman?

Sweaty Betty is not a woman and never
has been.

I mean, if she misses you with a right
hook, she'll knock you over with a

Well, that's rich, coming from you.

Hey, compared to her, I smell like the
Queen Mother.

So what is this, thieves falling out?

Nothing to do with those counterfeit
notes, was it?

It's got nothing to do with me. No?

No, look, if I'm guilty about it, it's
just trying to help a dying pal out.

We're doing him a good turn.

All right, Claude, I'm listening.

Well, when he was dying, little Arthur
asked me to go over and see him, right?

Right. Well, he knew he was about to pop
his clogs because he was in terrible

shape with his chest, so he asked me if
I'd deliver a letter to his missus, but

he told me not to take it around until
he was sort of dead and buried.

Did he say what was in the letter?

I know, but I put it on a shelf over a
pan I was boiling some eggs in and it,

like, steamed itself open.

What, like, accidentally on purpose?

No, no, something like that.

Well, what did it say?

Well, just basically that, like, he was
sorry he'd given her such an hard time

for so many years, but to make it up to
her he'd left a load of money for her

and the lad, like, in the safety deposit
in the bank.

Only the cash in the box was
counterfeit, was it?

Apparently. But, I mean, I didn't know
about that at the time.

Of course not.

You trust nobody, do you?

Anyway, he said, like, that there were a
key, a certain key she got to take to

the bank, and he'd left the key in the
right -hand trouser pocket of his best

suit, which happened to be the one that
buried him in.

You'd have heard of the Ecclesiastical
Courts Jurisdiction Act 1860, will you,

Mrs Such?

Also, the Burial Act of 1855 and 1857.

And the Cemeteries Clauses Act of 1847.

Plus, of course, the Public Health Act
of 1936.

Not to mention the sundry other bylaws
and the exhumation of bodies without

proper authority from the Home Office.

No?

Well, never mind.

You soon will.

There is one other thing we'd like to
talk to you about.

The small matter of assorting a police
officer with a deadly weapon.

namely a garden spade.

So if you and your son here would like
to accompany me down to the station...

Now that we are gone, don't you dare
walk!

That doesn't love a kiss stay in my
memory