All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s09e26 Finale.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,300 Hey, the girl's just about to go wild. 2 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:13,439 Listen, dear, I need to talk to you. Just watching a documentary about breast 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,490 cancer. 4 00:00:14,491 --> 00:00:19,179 Those brave young doctors spending their spring break to cure this silent 5 00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,230 killer. 6 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:26,640 Now, listen, dear, I don't want my grandchild to be born out of wedlock. 7 00:00:26,641 --> 00:00:29,769 Well, me neither, but Kelly isn't ready to get married to me yet. 8 00:00:29,770 --> 00:00:33,389 Well, I'm running for president of my condo association, and this will be a 9 00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:34,610 disastrous scandal. 10 00:00:34,611 --> 00:00:38,589 Well, I know you can win it for sure, but you're going to have to kill Bin 11 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:39,640 Laden. 12 00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:42,450 My opponent is tough. 13 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,910 She's running on a platform that will allow green as an exterior door color. 14 00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:50,350 Oh, my God, that's trivial. 15 00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:53,830 Well, I couldn't think of anything else. 16 00:00:54,990 --> 00:01:00,250 I am prepared to offer you $15 ,000 to get married before the baby comes. 17 00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,190 Look, you can't bribe me to get married. 18 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,590 Fine. Make it $16 ,000. 19 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,710 Would you just stop it? 20 00:01:07,711 --> 00:01:11,649 Dad gave you that money. You have to keep it, you know, so you don't become a 21 00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:12,700 burden to me. 22 00:01:12,701 --> 00:01:17,269 See, if you got married, you wouldn't need to watch those filthy little breast 23 00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:18,410 cancer documentaries. 24 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,610 Honey, quick, put your hand up. 25 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:40,070 out of a chicken's ass. 26 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:45,330 No, honey, it didn't. 27 00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:48,869 You know what? I don't want you to go into the delivery room after all. You'll 28 00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:49,920 just be confused. 29 00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:57,769 Okay, listen, you won't believe just what happened a few minutes ago. Yeah. 30 00:01:57,770 --> 00:02:03,290 My mom offered $16 ,000 if we would get married before the baby comes. What? 31 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:04,820 That's crazy. 32 00:02:04,821 --> 00:02:05,829 I know. 33 00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,210 I would have done it for five. 34 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:12,599 I never get tired of this bit about how marrying me for love would be 35 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,650 ridiculous. 36 00:02:13,651 --> 00:02:15,119 Come on. 37 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,480 It would be ridiculous if I didn't love you so much. 38 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:25,560 But, I mean, I think we're ready to get married now, Drew, don't you? 39 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,290 Oh, okay, I get it. 40 00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:30,739 Lucy with the football. Let me get a head start. 41 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:31,790 No, no. 42 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:38,929 for the right reasons now, and not just because I'm pregnant with what's almost 43 00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:40,010 certainly your child. 44 00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:45,689 You better not be messing with me, because after eight months of begging, 45 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:51,770 little fragile. I know that you love me for me, and I'm ready. 46 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,830 Come on, Drew. 47 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:55,220 Ask me. 48 00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,220 Come on. 49 00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:58,970 Come on. All right. 50 00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:00,500 Here goes. 51 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,580 Kelly? 52 00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:06,020 I love you. 53 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:07,710 Will you marry me? 54 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,630 How soon do you need an answer? No! 55 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,460 Sorry, 56 00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:18,100 I'm stupid. It's not funny. I thought it was funny. It's not. It's not funny. 57 00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:20,730 Of course I'll marry you. 58 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,000 Oh. 59 00:03:22,441 --> 00:03:23,889 I 60 00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:30,949 can't 61 00:03:30,950 --> 00:03:33,749 believe how many times I've pictured this exact moment right down to the meat 62 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:34,800 your hair. 63 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,800 a month until the baby comes. I'm sure I can plan a wedding in a couple weeks. 64 00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:44,739 Boy, you were never this keen on getting married before the baby comes. I know, 65 00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:47,659 honey, but now that I'm this big, I'm thinking I'm not going to lose all the 66 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,770 weight, so I've got to nail somebody down. 67 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:54,159 You know, it's one thing to joke about me not being the father, but don't you 68 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,020 ever joke about not losing the weight. 69 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,320 Walk me inside my boat. 70 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,940 I'm thinking of the wall of wine, yeah. 71 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,079 Adelaide, yeah. 72 00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:23,280 Thank you, 73 00:04:23,281 --> 00:04:28,179 everyone, for coming to this rehearsal brunch on such short notice and helping 74 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:32,779 out with the wedding. Now, we got to park, but everybody has to be there at 2 75 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:33,679 'clock sharp. 76 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,420 Because the sprinklers go on at 2 .45. 77 00:04:35,421 --> 00:04:40,539 So you're not going to be working on Saturday, because this is the first I 78 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,019 of it. 79 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,980 Well, Mr. Wick, it's my wedding. 80 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,250 Yes, but I've got paperwork to do, and when I'm alone, I hear spooky noises. 81 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,220 Why don't you have Mimi come in? She doesn't just care the living, you know. 82 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,610 That's a good one. 83 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,680 Hand me the ninja star from my purse. 84 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,510 I took it out. I thought it was going to poke a hole in your diaphragm. 85 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,990 I'm not worried about that thing. It's taken a lot of punishment over the 86 00:05:07,621 --> 00:05:13,089 Now the father of the bride would like to say a few words. 87 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:14,150 Thank you. 88 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:21,729 Well, the only thing a father really wants in this world is for his little 89 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:22,569 to be happy. 90 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:28,629 When I see her with... Well, guess who's late to her own daughter's rehearsal 91 00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,680 brunch? 92 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:36,129 Let me guess, you and your janitor boyfriend hit the liquor store for a 93 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,530 and some scratchers? 94 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:43,130 A cold 40. What a brilliant description of our years together. 95 00:05:43,131 --> 00:05:47,829 For your information, Don, we stopped to get Kelly some flowers. 96 00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:51,889 Well, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but let's just say we had sex in the 97 00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:52,940 bathroom. 98 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:06,619 As I was saying, all a father really wants for his daughter is sex in the 99 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,240 bathroom with a janitor. 100 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:11,320 No, why stop there? 101 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:14,320 Next time, try a homeless man in a dumpster. 102 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,810 Yeah! 103 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:26,239 Don, you are an angry little man who was fired for punching a co -worker over a 104 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,160 fantasy baseball trade gone wrong. 105 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,299 You know I left to start my own business. Oh, you walk around all day 106 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,350 into a dead phone. 107 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,210 I follow the cord. The other end goes into the air conditioning vent. 108 00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:44,440 Well, the things you see when you black out and wake up under a coffee table. 109 00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:45,950 Okay. 110 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,640 Don't bother the bride. 111 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:48,930 How about a big hand? 112 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,410 Forty years of marriage. They must be doing something right. 113 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,430 Anywho. 114 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,270 would like to make a toast to Kelly? 115 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:10,649 When I look around at all my friends and relatives, I realize that the love in 116 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:11,950 this room... Whore! 117 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,020 Whore! 118 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:15,600 Whore! 119 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,620 Whore! 120 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:23,350 Now, Don, you already had your toast. 121 00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:24,640 Listen! Listen! 122 00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:29,290 This is my wedding. I know you guys are miserable, but can't you just be happy? 123 00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:34,639 Sweetheart, it's your father who refuses to be civil about this. Why can't we 124 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:38,010 just accept that sometimes adults make love in public restrooms? 125 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:41,940 That's it. No, no, no, no, no. That is it, Lewis. You have to leave. 126 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,060 Well, if he's leaving, I'm leaving. 127 00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:47,259 Hey, hey, hey. Don't leave on my account, because I'm over you. 128 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:51,300 This one was checking me out earlier. Maybe I'll do her in the toilet. 129 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,280 Excuse me. Hey, that's my mother. You'll do her in the bedroom. 130 00:08:04,590 --> 00:08:06,050 Baby, he means well. 131 00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:11,710 Oh, please, please, everybody, just be quiet and let Drew finish his speech. 132 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,040 Yeah, shut up, Don. 133 00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:15,570 My daughter asked you to leave. 134 00:08:15,850 --> 00:08:19,280 Don't get over it! You're the one talking into the air conditioner! 135 00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:21,540 Well said. 136 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:24,850 Hey, back off, Grand Milf. You're the one dating the janitor. 137 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:29,290 Oh, you can see my date? I thought you were blind. 138 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,040 That's it. 139 00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:33,250 Where do you want it? 140 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,880 get in first. You can dishonor the court. 141 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:47,370 I was thinking the same thing, Drew, but my car's blocked in. 142 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,160 Hey, can you give us a ride down to City Hall? 143 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:55,420 You sure you want to go over there? That's kind of a real ferry. 144 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:58,090 I'll take my chances. 145 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:13,279 getting a burst of mini fresh flavor i'm here you're not spent the last 30 years 146 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:18,059 restoring this car buried my mother in a cardboard box so i could afford those 147 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:25,039 original formats yeah but my breath is bad i have to kiss the bride i don't 148 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:31,780 what you gotta do as long as nobody eats anything in my why am i wet 149 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,040 Oh, man, my floor mats. 150 00:09:40,191 --> 00:09:45,559 Quick, Tony, you got to get us to the Cleveland Clinic. 151 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,220 How about I just drop you here? 152 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:52,190 Sure, in your condition, you shouldn't have any problem flagging somebody down. 153 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,579 Come on, man, you got to get us to the hospital. 154 00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:55,630 Oh, man. 155 00:09:55,631 --> 00:09:57,679 Hang on, honey, we'll be there in a minute. 156 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,860 Well, you might as well have your gum now. 157 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,060 My car is full of baby juice. 158 00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:29,630 a couple more weeks left to study. 159 00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:34,170 It means she could be two hours, she could be two days. Every woman's 160 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:39,340 Hey, honey, great news. This could be another two days. 161 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:44,670 You think that two days of labor is great? 162 00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:48,790 How about I punch you in the testicles for two days? 163 00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:53,270 We'll see how great you think that is. 164 00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:56,689 No, I mean, we still have time to get married for the baby this year. 165 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,740 Drew. 166 00:11:02,211 --> 00:11:06,039 I don't want my baby born out of wedlock. 167 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,890 Look, he's already a carry. That makes him a dodgeball target automatically. 168 00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,950 I don't want to paint a bullseye on his back. 169 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:14,610 Great. Okay. 170 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:19,059 I'll go find a minister and you spend some more time putting the defibrillator 171 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,110 on your nipples. 172 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,260 Yeah, I heard you. 173 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:29,979 Oh, honey, we came as soon as we got the message. Have they given you any 174 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,030 Demerol yet? 175 00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:51,839 Annette, you stay here and take care of Kelly. 176 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,959 You guys come with me. There's a chapel downstairs. 177 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,340 Maybe we can find a minister. 178 00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,710 Can't wait till Kelly has the baby. I love that new baby smell. 179 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,920 It's almost as good as a new car smell. 180 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:05,719 Hey, you know, if you put a new baby in a new car, that'd be the best smell 181 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,770 ever. 182 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:16,000 Through this holy unction, may the Lord pardon thee whatever sin. 183 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,600 I'm giving this man the last rites. 184 00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:29,090 Look, his girlfriend's giving birth. He needs to get married, okay? 185 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,830 You can help save the baby from being born out of wedlock and going to hell. 186 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:38,810 It'd really mean a lot to me if you let me get married before my kid comes. 187 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,420 I wish I could help, but I promised Mr. 188 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,890 Clark that I would stay with him until he goes to be with the Lord. 189 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,910 Well, uh, just a little ballpark estimate here. 190 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:54,160 Let's say the Lord was making dinner for Mr. Clark. 191 00:12:54,530 --> 00:12:56,330 When would he put the noodles on? 192 00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:00,010 I can't answer that. 193 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,950 Wait a minute. 194 00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:07,220 What's that? 195 00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,650 He's gone. Grab your oil. Let's rock, Padre. 196 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:19,050 Nice try. Nice try, boys. He's not even hooked up to anything. 197 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,300 I'm really sorry. Their spines aren't hooked up to anything. 198 00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:29,450 My hands are tied. I'd love to perform your marriage, but I cannot leave, Mr. 199 00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:30,600 Clark. 200 00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:34,910 Coming. Oh, darling. 201 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:40,510 You look beautiful. 202 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:46,630 I suppose this is no sillier than those hippie weddings naked on a cliff. 203 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:53,000 Hey, if you can protest... war and hang on to a man at the same time, you do it. 204 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:59,219 I always thought I'd get married wearing a wedding dress and a veil and 205 00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:00,270 underwear. 206 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,520 But the breeze is refreshing, so let's do this. 207 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,500 Is that the dead guy? 208 00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:12,939 No, but I'm beginning to think he's hanging on just to spite us. True, true, 209 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:13,990 do know. 210 00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:20,669 It's not like it's an omen or anything about what your married life's going to 211 00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:21,720 be like. 212 00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:26,470 Well, we can at least close the curtains. 213 00:14:26,471 --> 00:14:30,169 Don't you want to introduce yourself? If he's going to hell, it'd be nice to 214 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,730 know someone when you get there. 215 00:14:31,731 --> 00:14:36,369 I know this is going to be hard, but it's the only way we can do this. Are 216 00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:38,770 okay? I'm okay, I'm okay. Let's just go. 217 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:44,050 I don't know what it is. The dying guy, the priest, the smell of disinfectant. 218 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,650 But I'm so horny right now. 219 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,000 for Larry Almada. 220 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,860 Can we just get on with this thing? 221 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,470 Drew's gonna have his hands full. Kelly's turning into a real princess. 222 00:14:59,471 --> 00:15:04,459 Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to join this couple in the bonds 223 00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,510 holy matrimony. 224 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:07,750 Okay, 225 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:11,530 okay. Her contractions are getting very close. Why don't you check her? 226 00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:18,180 What an awkward, sexy moment. 227 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,270 Maybe you can bury us in the hallway. I've already explained to you I can't. 228 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,500 Well, thanks for nothing. 229 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,220 And by the way, sex with women? 230 00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:42,310 Fantastic. 231 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,259 How are you feeling? 232 00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:49,120 To be honest, Doc, I'm a little scared. 233 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,520 Is it too late for the wedding? 234 00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:14,750 No, but hurry, because we can see the top of the best man's head. 235 00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:17,120 No! We're going to do this now? 236 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,790 Come on, it's just something to pass the time. 237 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,239 Do you, Kelly, take this man, Drew? Yes, yes, I do! 238 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,360 Do you, Drew, take this woman, Kelly, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Yeah, 239 00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:29,520 what do you think? I now pronounce you husband and wife. 240 00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:31,900 Oh, we were so close. 241 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:42,970 He's fine. He's just fine. 242 00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,280 Oh, Drew. 243 00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:49,810 He's beautiful. 244 00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:56,750 So pretty. Oh, you did great, honey. I love you so much. 245 00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,060 I love you. 246 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:18,129 at the vending machine on the way up here so we can count that time and say 247 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,180 was born in wedlock. 248 00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:22,119 We did. 249 00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:25,200 He looks just like his mom, so he really hit the jackpot. 250 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:29,570 You know, honey, we never did settle on a name. 251 00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:32,800 I'm so exhausted from all this. Why don't you pick? 252 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:42,709 Well, maybe we should name him after the man who was kind enough to die and give 253 00:17:42,710 --> 00:17:43,760 us a... priest. 254 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,200 Oh, that's a wonderful idea. What was Mr. Clark's first name? 255 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:50,670 Enos. 256 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:25,740 Well, nothing to do now except say thanks. 257 00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,850 So thanks. It was a lot of fun. 258 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,190 Good night. Thanks a lot. 259 00:18:31,601 --> 00:18:33,699 Cut, please. 260 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:38,250 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 21329

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