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All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s08e17 Whats Love Got To Do With It

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,450 --> 00:00:12,450 Wow. 2 00:00:13,710 --> 00:00:16,850 I really admire her. I wish I could go up on stage and do that. 3 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:18,130 You mean suck. 4 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,980 Even if you're not great, who cares? It's only karaoke. 5 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:39,339 Give it a shot. 6 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,340 It'll be fun. 7 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,920 Yeah. You know what? 8 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:44,620 Why not? Huh? 9 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:50,260 You know, we tried music once to soothe the animals with drug coke. Turns out 10 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:52,840 scientists love to sing Broadway showstoppers. 11 00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,900 We always love to rip the heads off of scientists who sing Broadway 12 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:57,900 showstoppers. 13 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,720 new sports bar. You guys should enter. 14 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,360 Really? Yeah, I think you really got a good shot at winning. 15 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:46,820 Well, 16 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:50,600 it sounds like fun. You want to do it, Drew? No, no. You should have your own 17 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,600 minutes of fame. 18 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,540 Don't trust me. I'll just freeze up again if I go up there on stage by 19 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,920 Please. And look, they're giving away $1 ,000. 20 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:03,020 Yeah, and the winner gets an Olympic gold medal. 21 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,500 What? Yeah. The owner of the bar collects memorabilia and he's giving it 22 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:08,500 a publicity stunt. 23 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:09,920 Oh, I wouldn't mind. 24 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:13,350 Who cares about winning some old metal, huh, Drew? 25 00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,210 Hi, I'm Drew Carey, four -eyed loser. 26 00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:19,150 I'm Drew Carey, Olympic gold medal winner. 27 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,710 I like the second one best. 28 00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,670 Uh, Drew, we need to talk to you. 29 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:09,330 Yeah, look, uh, you're our friend, so we're gonna let you know right up front. 30 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,820 that we're going to be competing against you for the gold medal. 31 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,019 You guys know what you're getting yourselves into? I mean, karaoke isn't 32 00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:22,940 about singing, you know. You have to read, too. 33 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,020 So you think we suck? 34 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:09,340 You're a janitor. You drink. You sing. Is there anything you can't do? 35 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,180 Well, if you'll excuse us, we have to practice our song. 36 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,540 Yeah, well, if you'll excuse us, I have to go home and bathe my instrument and 37 00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,540 warm honey and lemon. 38 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:47,480 conscious, and not just any people. 39 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,620 Japanese businessmen. 40 00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:58,560 Tell me, is this your ex -husband telling you you're not good enough 41 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:02,040 Is that what I'm hearing? Because trust me, you are. 42 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:03,740 Thank you. 43 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,740 Thank you, Drew. You know, I don't know what it is about you, but you always 44 00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:09,460 make me feel so good about myself. 45 00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,720 Hey, when sex is off the table, Drew Carey knows how to make a woman feel 46 00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,950 Let's work on another number, a ballad, just in case everybody else is doing an 47 00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,490 upbeat song. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. 48 00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:23,810 All right. You ready? 49 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:27,370 Guess 50 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:36,610 it's 51 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:40,590 gonna be a cold, lonely summer. 52 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,500 I was thinking of actually using real lipstick so my lip prints would show up 53 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,359 the envelope. 54 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:09,580 Okay, you never know what you say. I'm going to live forever. 55 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:11,800 Okay. 56 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,500 Now remember, you're scared little Coco. 57 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,640 The title of the dream. 58 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,460 You need that passion. Okay? 59 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,590 Every day at noon, you want to eat. 60 00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:41,250 Listen, we can win an Olympic gold medal, and all we have to do is sing 61 00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:43,970 Oh, crap, there's people down here. 62 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:49,010 Hey, Drew, do you mind? We were hoping for a little privacy so we could, uh, 63 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,010 know. 64 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,430 Uh, here's a little tip. It's too ugly to say, too ugly to do. 65 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:02,110 Can you sing three times a lady while your brother does it to me on a 66 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,500 They're giving away a thousand bucks. 67 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,180 A thousand bucks? 68 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,940 Honey, we should enter their contest, too. You've got such a great voice. 69 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,420 Oh, I'm in, but you're the one with the lovely voice. 70 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,640 Oh, let's give you so much fun. Yeah, win or lose, it'll be a hoot. I love 71 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,720 Oh, I love you, too. 72 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:27,700 Are the stars out tonight? 73 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,540 I don't know if it's cloudy or bright. 74 00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,380 But I love your eyes. 75 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,140 Oh, you. 76 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,360 We've got to find a forklift. 77 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:49,780 T -ball. 78 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:23,790 I wonder if Christy Yamaguchi had to work this hard to win her gold medal. 79 00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:09,430 you're not being a cynical, horrible bastard, and I can see the scared little 80 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:10,430 boy underneath. 81 00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,590 Don't worry. I have a way to keep from crying. 82 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:18,090 How? Same way I kept from crying when my dad used to spank me. I bit the inside 83 00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,990 of my cheek. I never gave him the satisfaction. 84 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,110 I never had a problem with my dad spanking me. 85 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:27,590 He tried it once, and I whispered, work the other cheek. It's lonely. 86 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:30,710 Never touched me again. 87 00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:34,150 Never talked to me much either. 88 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,940 These are for you. 89 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,780 Oh, Drew. 90 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:45,620 They're beautiful. 91 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,440 So we're good? 92 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,540 Yeah, we're good. 93 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,480 Because you know what's not good? Our song. 94 00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,260 I knew it. 95 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:03,900 I knew it. It's just like my ex -husband, Drew. The only reason you 96 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:08,940 is because you want something from me. No, no. Listen, I value our friendship. 97 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,500 Yeah, right. 98 00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:15,410 You just know that you can't win that stupid medal without me. 99 00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:19,930 Hey, you need me. All you have is beauty and talent. You need a gimmick. I'm the 100 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:20,930 gimmick, baby. 101 00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:25,590 Well, I'll tell you how much I need you. 102 00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,810 I'm going solo. 103 00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:29,930 Fine. 104 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:34,210 Then so am I. I'm going to blow you off the stage. Oh, well, you're definitely 105 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,230 going to blow. 106 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,490 That's really good. See what you did there? You took what I said and you 107 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:42,490 it around. You're dead! 108 00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:48,430 I'm dead. 109 00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:51,790 Kelly's out of the contest. I can't sing. 110 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,990 Why don't you just find another partner? 111 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:57,790 The contest is in two days. We're going to find somebody else to sing with me. 112 00:11:57,890 --> 00:11:59,970 Oh, my God, the gold was in my grass! 113 00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:03,610 Hey, you know what? 114 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:07,670 A lot of famous singers started out in church choirs. I mean, Whitney Houston, 115 00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:08,870 Mariah Carey. 116 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,150 Why don't you check out a couple churches? 117 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,430 What am I supposed to do? Just wander into a church and say, hey, you want a 118 00:12:13,430 --> 00:12:14,430 thing for God for free? 119 00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:16,570 Or do you want a thing with me in a bar for a thousand bucks? 120 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:20,510 Stop pushing me like Bible -thumping animals. 121 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,340 Just so you know, I'm not rejecting Jesus here. I'm just rejecting you. 122 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:43,140 I told you to stand up straight. I told you not to cry, but I forgot to tell you 123 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,380 not to spit up blood all over yourself. 124 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:51,060 Next up, the lovely stylings of Sasha. 125 00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:14,060 We're gonna cancel each other out. 126 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,160 Don't worry. I know a bunch of songs. 127 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,200 When we get up there, I'll see what he's got. 128 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:21,340 Well, can you see if they have a little Motown? I like something with a little 129 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,340 more soul. 130 00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,520 So, uh, what song did you tell him to play? 131 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,500 Do that to me one more time. 132 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:04,879 to him. 133 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,100 I'll tell you why. He wanted to add it to his trophy collection. 134 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,980 What trophy collection? 135 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,500 Thank you. 136 00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:15,280 A guy like that to win the Olympic gold medal? 137 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,240 Well, it'd be some pretty grand stories for the grandkids, huh? 138 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:24,020 All he has now is a story of that fateful day when that vending machine 139 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,220 two root beers by accident. 140 00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:40,690 Time for mama to bring home the gold. 141 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:11,580 Give me Viva. 142 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,880 Hey, 143 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,040 Drew. 144 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,160 What do you think? 145 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,520 Oh, so you won the gold medal, huh? 146 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,880 Bet it wasn't too hard after Oswald's bloodbath and my hilarious child 147 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,880 bit. 148 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,420 Drew? 149 00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,420 I want you to have it. 150 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,140 What do you mean, you're not still mad at me? 151 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:47,020 No, I realize how important this is to you, and I'm keeping the $1 ,100, so 152 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,700 I want you to have it. I thought it was $1 ,000. 153 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,720 Yeah, I made a few pips. 154 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:03,560 Look, I can't take this. You're the one that won it. Oh, come on, Drew. I never 155 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,520 would have gotten on stage and shaken my money makers if you hadn't helped give 156 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,520 me the confidence. 157 00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,180 You have more than one moneymaker? 158 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,840 Yeah, I have three. 159 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:19,220 Don't I? 160 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:25,740 Well, Eason, this is sweet, but it's not the same as saying that I won an 161 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:26,740 Olympic gold medal. 162 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:45,680 There's nobody better at it than I am. 163 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,580 Where's Sparky, Dad? 164 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,300 Sparky's gone to heaven, son. 165 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,240 This is so sad. 166 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,060 Sad? I think it's corny and stupid. 12421