Original subtitles

Okay, the auction's over in 30 seconds. Come on, send our bid. No, no, no. Yeah,

yeah, now, now.

Nope, nope. The people who win these things wait for the last second. Drew,

please don't screw this up. I really want to go to Florida.

Do not worry. I'm not going to screw it up. 20 seconds left. Put in our bid.

Come on.

Nope. I'll still push the button. Oh, stop it. Stop it.

Drew, you've got 10 seconds. Oh, crap.

I can't look. Did we get it?

I don't know. I can't tell with all these pop -ups. Anybody want to enlarge

their penis?

No.

I mean, yes, but not now.

Yeah, it cost a little more than a travel agent, but it was fun, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, let's go down to the loading dock and tell Oswald the good news. Oh, it's

going to be so exciting. He says the winters are getting hard to take here.

wants to find a nice place that's warm to settle down when we retire.

You just know that when one of them dies, the other one's going to go in a

Thanks.

Uh, hey, Mimi?

There's a mistake in my paycheck. It's like three times what I usually make.

So, you got the wrong one.

Trailer. The only way you can make this kind of money is if you start crapping

caviar.

Thanks, but I already tried that.

as big as the ones I'm used to.

Oh, wait.

I just made that much.

Oh, wait.

Ha -ha, poor man made you wait.

Hey, come on, buddy. Don't compare yourself to Traylor. That's like

apples and... well, older, less skilled apples.

But she makes so much more money than me, and she's only one level above me.

How am I supposed to ever move up?

Well, you can start by becoming fluent in the advanced computer languages. You

know, start taking classes.

Yeah, he teaches one on the weekends, and all our employees are welcome to

up. Well, I have a trip to Florida planned. Can I skip a weekend?

Wow.

Dad was right.

Poor people are poor because they're lazy.

Dude, they cover a whole semester in eight weeks. If you miss a couple of

classes, you'll never get caught up.

All right, I gotcha.

By the way, some people aren't poor because they're lazy. They're poor

they gave up.

Hey, Drew, I heard the good news. You're going to Florida.

No, I can't. I've got to go to summer school.

Really? They can still make us do that?

No, I just found out about the computer class. If I take it, I may be able to

make some more money, so I'm going to skip vacation this year.

Oh, man.

It won't be any fun without you. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, to hell with him. We can still have fun as a threesome, right, Kelly?

There's that word again.

No, I am not going if Drew doesn't go.

It wouldn't be any fun if it's just the two of us.

Come on, Drew.

Forget about school.

Come drinking with us.

See, that's what we always do. We drink and we party, and then we wonder why we

can't pay our gas bills.

You know what?

You're going to be sitting in that classroom wishing you were outside

with us.

No, I'm not.

You know why? Because I'm going to work hard, and I'm going to go put my fun in

the fun bank.

And years from now, I'm going to break it open, and I'm going to have 30 % more

fun than you.

Why don't we move our fund to his bank? He's getting 30%. That's a good

question. You know why? Why? 30 %!

Now, once you understand the basics of Java, it'll open up a

whole new world of web page design.

Now, this week we're going to be covering the graphical user interface,

which you can use as an app on your website.

Now, we're going to begin this week by creating a text -based program in Linux

and help you understand a little bit more how the Java program is compiled.

Drew, is there something outside more interesting than Java compiling?

I'm sorry, more interesting than what?

Moon over Parma,

shine on I -271

We can get together in the warm light of the sun

So you see, it's Java's versatility that makes it superior in web design, unlike

other programs like C++ or COBOL.

Now, when you run the compiler, it translates the program into bytecode

computer can understand by simply running the Java command.

I have a question. What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Okay, we already went over that, Mimi. We're going to be moving really fast

here. You need to keep up.

What is the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Excellent question, Tiffany.

Let me show you on your computer here.

Excuse me, sir, but didn't I just ask that question?

Okay, one more outburst like that, Mimi, and I'm going to have to ask you to

leave.

I could get an A if I was willing to get down on my knees.

I don't think threatening's going to do you any good, Mimi.

taught me i am not going to florida i'm in a class i'm staying in my class

okay any more questions

good now for your class project you're going to be designing your own java

enabled website from scratch now you're going to be in teams of two so just look

to the person next to you and that'll be your partner hey excuse me there's

nobody next to me

Me meet partner since you two know each other.

Well, I think we should have a red background on our homepage.

No, I don't want red.

Why not?

I don't want you charging the screen.

Yeah, that's really funny.

Hey, what are you doing?

Deleting all the porn on your hard drive.

Yeah, go ahead.

You can't delete the porn on dog...

Hey,

Drew. We're just passing by. Mind if we pick up a beer? No, go ahead.

Okay,

look.

I'm sorry, but I can't stand here and do nothing while you slowly kill yourself

with achievement.

You only have so many summers in your lifetime, Drew, and you're blowing one

the great ones.

You weren't supposed to make him feel bad.

I'm also not supposed to smell your hair when you fall asleep on Drew's couch.

But I do, and I'm gonna keep doing it.

when he finally ends up on the news, just remember, we saw it coming, and we

nothing.

Hey, Drew, don't listen to Lewis, man.

Just because it's your last summer before you get married, have some rotten

kids, and die doesn't mean it has to be special.

Okay, back to work.

You want to take five minutes and we'll get some ice cream?

Why, do you?

Yeah. Then no.

Hang on. How come all the windows are covered up?

Oh, well, we're having the outside of the building patched up and repaired.

Windows will be covered for the next six to eight weeks.

You're going to have the windows covered up all summer? That's not...

You know, I may not participate much in life, but I do like to watch it go by.

Hey, what's a few weeks in the grand scheme of things?

The sun will be around for another five billion years.

Yeah, but I won't.

Sure you will, just not in this form.

Maybe in your next life you'll be a house cat in Paris, owned by rich

homosexuals who brush your fur all the time.

If I kill myself tonight, do you think I'd be in Paris by tomorrow?

I need the new product codes for the inventory files right away.

I know you're spending all your time at work and at school, but trust me, it's

all going to be worth it in the end.

Keep your eyes on the prize, man.

Keep chasing that carrot.

I suppose you're wondering what that's all about. My grandmother died, and I

have to go.

How did she die?

How did she die? Her heart stopped, dude. Her brain stopped. Her soul left

her body.

It's the legal definition of death, doctor.

Here's to Grandma Carrie.

If you ever really do die, I'll be there for you. If I can just figure out how

to get out of work.

I've been working really hard, and you deserve this vacation.

How many drinks have you had?

Oh, just enough to fly in this big metal death trap.

I'm proud of you too, Drew. You're living your life, huh? And what's the

thing that could happen?

Uh, they'll find out I lied, they'll fire me, I'll become a drunk, I'll pass

on railroad track, and the train will cut my head off.

Well, tomorrow.

Today we party, huh?

because, you know, it's not like my mom's going to call work and they'll

grandma's not really dead.

You know, that would never happen to me because I'm Mr. Lucky.

Actually, your life has been fraught. I'm being sarcastic.

Fraught?

And why are you scratching?

I'm just a little stressed out because I miss class.

When I get stressed out, I get a little itchy.

But, you know, so I missed a couple of classes, so I'll just pull an all

-nighter and make it up when I get home.

What's the point?

Doctors say the brain starts shrinking after age 12.

No, they say your brain starts shrinking after the age 12.

Oh, no. That means by the time I'm 60, I'll be the size of a pea.

I'll sound like a spray paint can.

Good afternoon, everybody.

We'll be landing in 45 minutes.

The current weather in Miami is 83 degrees and sunny.

know each other very well, but... Pardon me?

Hey, guys, you ready to go out? Whoa!

That is hard to look at.

Drew, are you sure that you want to go out tonight?

Wait a minute. This could work for us. How so?

Oswald and I will stand at the back of the bar, okay? Then you come in and you

drive the girls to us.

I saw it on a Western. It's how they trap cattle in canyons.

You know, maybe I should just...

Stan and I get some rest. Maybe this stuff will go away.

Yeah.

Yeah, that might be a good idea.

Yeah, we'll just, uh, we'll go out as a threesome.

Yeah,

that sounds good. That sounds good.

Okay, take care of Drew.

Oh, hey.

Kurtz. I think I got a cold.

Oh. How come you let me sleep with my head in the refrigerator last night?

I'm sorry. It's just dark and I was drunk and I have a

deed to a pet store in my pocket.

There is a lot about last night that I can't explain.

Oh, you poor thing.

You have a fever.

That's okay. I don't care.

I'm gonna enjoy the last two days I have left in Miami.

Oh. Now, be a dear and push me out to the sea.

Hey, we found a boat to take us out snorkeling.

Ooh, snorkeling.

Yeah, well, here's your mask.

It's gonna be great. We're gonna press our butts up against the bottom of a

glass -bottom boat.

Hey, this is a perfect...

James Bond.

I think I'm too sick to go snorkeling.

Oh, man.

First the hives, now a cold?

Could have partied harder with a bubble boy.

Yeah, still want to go snorkeling?

Oh, I don't know if I want to go. I think Drew would have wanted us to have

Let's do it for Drew.

I'm not dead.

Come on, Drew. Let's get you in bed.

getting like a leak wow this sucks you know when i was a kid summer vacation

three months long when i started working and it's two weeks and then now it's

two days and it's all ruined hey drew look it's raining yeah figures well

hey at least everyone's good time is ruined yeah

Sun.

The sun's up.

Oh, God.

What a beautiful day.

Hey, how come you're packing?

Because we're leaving in four hours.

What? No!

This is my summer!

It can't end like this, not like this!

Jeez, how many towels are you taking?

to my pet store.

Oh, well.

Look who finally got up.

Oswald, Drew's up. Come and tell him about the shark we saw on our snorkeling

trip.

All right.

That's what happened with the shark.

Bastard swam off with my left arm.

Just kidding.

He took a chunk out that time.

You should have seen that big, ugly hammerhead thrashing her out in the

It was hilarious.

It's a tiger shark. I know.

Well, I'm just glad that you're okay.

Why don't we... You guys meet up in, like, half an hour for lunch, and that

we can finish packing, and then we can go to the airport.

No!

There's four hours left in the sun, and I'm gonna take it.

This is my summer.

I'm an American.

It's summer.

We fought in the summer in Antietam and the beaches of Normandy.

The point is, I'm taking off my clothes. I'm going to lay out some wicker.

Wow.

You have to really admire that guy.

Never gives up.

Not every man has the drive and determination to take the lounge by a

He's going to stick to that wicker.

Drew, since you missed last week's classes because your grandma died,

had to partner Mimi with Tiffany, the former exotic dancer, it turns out, I

you to do an extra assignment.

What? You mean on top of all the work I already have to make up? Oh, yes.

I want a 5 ,000 -word essay on the evolution of HTML4.

And an original sonnet would make a woman's heart swoon and melt.

Try to rhyme something with epiphany.

Epiphany?

You ever hear that word in a strip club?

No. Then keep thinking.

So you ticked off the teacher, got all that extra work for three lousy hours in

the sun.

Was it worth it, pig?

Was it worth it?

Yeah.

It was worth it.

Bye.