Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,559
So, who are you fixing me up with today,
Larry?
2
00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,000
Her name is Renee. I think you'll really
like her.
3
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:06,980
She was in the Navy.
4
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,860
Ooh, permission to come aboard.
5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,130
Hi, Larry.
6
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,350
Come in, Renee.
7
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,299
Drew, this is Renee. I think you guys
are perfect for each other. Why don't
8
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,859
chat a little, see if there are any
sparks?
9
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:21,300
Hey, come on in. Renee, that's a
beautiful name.
10
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:22,459
Well, thanks.
11
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:23,780
So, tell me about yourself.
12
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,080
Well, let's see. I'm 32.
13
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,440
I'm originally from Chicago.
14
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,900
I put animals to sleep.
15
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,170
Oh.
16
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:35,620
So you work at the pound? No, that's
just a hobby.
17
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,280
I declare this a match!
18
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,220
Larry, can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
19
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,150
What is it? Uh, you need some condoms?
20
00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:52,760
I can't go out with her. She murders
pets.
21
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:57,610
Hey, she only does it because she gets
blinding headaches when she doesn't.
22
00:00:57,990 --> 00:00:59,040
Intriguing, no?
23
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:01,820
All right, fine.
24
00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:03,970
Sorry, Renee. It's not gonna work.
25
00:01:04,269 --> 00:01:05,670
Yeah, it's not you. It's me.
26
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,050
You cat -killing freak.
27
00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:15,269
Somebody like that.
28
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:16,769
She's the end of the line, Drew.
29
00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:20,410
The bottom of the barrel. You've dated
every other possible match in my
30
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:21,800
Hey, Larry.
31
00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:25,560
Oh. Sorry to barge in. I was in the
neighborhood and thought I'd say hello.
32
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,090
Hi, Susie. How'd your day go?
33
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,990
Not so good. No.
34
00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:31,250
Well, I see you're busy.
35
00:01:31,251 --> 00:01:34,009
Guess I'll see you at your next singles
mixer.
36
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,060
Bye. Bye.
37
00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:36,480
Bye. Bye.
38
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:40,980
I thought you were going to fix me with
everybody. What about her?
39
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,550
You're not really her type.
40
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,460
What do you mean I'm not her type?
41
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,570
Just drop it.
42
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,980
What is she? She got kids?
43
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,650
She older than she looks? She used to be
a dude?
44
00:01:56,500 --> 00:02:00,259
She works out a lot. Fitness and
appearance are really important to her.
45
00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:02,850
certain requirements that guys like us
don't meet.
46
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:06,659
Oh, big deal. I'm not a Calvin Klein
underwear model, okay? Maybe I'm doing
47
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,479
on purpose.
48
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,720
Maybe I'm trying not to confuse
homosexuals.
49
00:02:10,721 --> 00:02:16,829
Look, you can't date her and you can't
go to the party. There's no nice way to
50
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:17,880
say this.
51
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,020
No fatties allowed.
52
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:27,650
Oh, my mother says I'm robust, but,
uh... Point taken.
53
00:02:28,790 --> 00:02:31,550
So how many women are going to be at
this party?
54
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:33,090
I don't know, 60, 70.
55
00:02:33,091 --> 00:02:34,969
And they all want to get married?
56
00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:36,020
Ready and willing.
57
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:37,390
Oh, this sucks. Come on.
58
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:40,919
How much weight do I have to lose to get
to the party?
59
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,819
I don't know, 20, 25 pounds, but it
doesn't matter because the party's in
60
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,060
weeks. I don't care.
61
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:48,619
I got to do this, man. I have a lot of
money tied up in this wedding. I bought
62
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:51,799
ring, I rented a hall. I'll be up 5 ,000
bucks if I don't get married.
63
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,970
And you want to find your true love,
right?
64
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,150
Yes, yes, true love. Jeez, it's like I'm
married already.
65
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,760
the bacon cheeseburgers.
66
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,140
Yum. Oh, you got fries. I love you.
67
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:32,610
Drew,
68
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:36,459
you sure you don't mind us eating this
in front of you? I mean, with your diet
69
00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,200
and all? Oh, no. Don't worry about me.
70
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,560
I have a lean choice beef banquet.
71
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:41,940
Only 350 calories.
72
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:45,730
That's a banquet?
73
00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:47,720
I floss more out of my teeth at night.
74
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,900
it's very satisfying.
75
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,570
Mmm.
76
00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,270
Now, that's what I call steamed
cauliflower.
77
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:03,650
I think you're being a little bit
selfish.
78
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,299
I mean, sure, you're going to lose
weight, but think about all the people
79
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,350
hurting. Like who?
80
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,080
Oh, the butcher, the baker, the chili
dog maker.
81
00:04:10,081 --> 00:04:15,799
Hey, laugh at me if you want, okay? But
it's working. I've never felt better in
82
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,319
my life. How much weight have you lost?
I don't know. I read you're not supposed
83
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,659
to weigh yourself every day, so you
don't obsess over every little pound.
84
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,100
So I figure about 8, 10 pounds.
85
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,870
Well... It's been a week, right? Why
don't we find out? Let's get the scale.
86
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,590
Gotta admit, you do look healthy, Drew.
87
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:32,849
You know, you inspired me. I'm gonna
start taking care of myself, too. Every
88
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:36,640
morning, and I mean every morning, I'm
gonna jog five miles down by the lake.
89
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:37,930
It's 20 degrees out.
90
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:41,280
Well, that's right.
91
00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,880
It must be off because it's on the rug.
Oh, yeah.
92
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:00,620
It's very sensitive. Would it be even
then?
93
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,820
I'll make it so I can throw it out.
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
94
00:05:53,351 --> 00:05:58,999
I've been eating this crap for a week. I
haven't lost a pound.
95
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,550
That's weird. I have exactly the
opposite problem, no matter how much I
96
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,020
It just goes to my big, giant butt.
97
00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:13,400
Gerald, sometimes it takes a while for
your metabolism to adjust.
98
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,690
I don't have all the time. I only have a
week. Larry's party's in a week.
99
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:20,320
Oh, my God, I have to lose 20 pounds in
a week.
100
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:21,770
Hey, you know what?
101
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,120
They got this new pill down at Drug Co.
102
00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:27,769
The FDA hasn't approved it yet, but I
could get you some. It shrinks your
103
00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:28,820
stomach.
104
00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:30,950
How come it isn't approved?
105
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,280
Well, it shrinks a couple other things,
too.
106
00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:39,749
No, I have to do drastic measures. You
know, I've been eating 1 ,000 calories a
107
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,430
day. I just have to cut it down to 500.
108
00:06:41,431 --> 00:06:43,509
You're going to start exercising?
109
00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:46,040
Please. I don't have time for your New
Age nonsense.
110
00:06:49,550 --> 00:06:50,990
Why are you eating a coaster?
111
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,340
It's not a coaster. It's a rice cake.
112
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,660
No, I'm pretty sure it's a coaster.
113
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,400
Listen here. You listen to me.
114
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:07,440
This is a fat -free, unsalted,
unflavored rice cake.
115
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:10,740
Okay. My mistake.
116
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,480
Sorry. Not a coaster.
117
00:07:21,531 --> 00:07:26,579
Trying to lose weight for one of Larry
Pingel's mixers.
118
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,700
Oh, no. You're buying into that crap,
too.
119
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,130
What crap?
120
00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:33,900
You gotta be a bag of skin and bones to
be hot.
121
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:37,470
Everybody wants to look like a 12 -year
-old boy, men and women.
122
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,250
Hey, Hillbilly.
123
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:47,059
Um... When you're done with chan
-tobaccy and conjugating the verb ain't,
124
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,110
make copy of that...
125
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,390
No hips, no ass, she looks like Iggy
freaking Pop.
126
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:08,659
Don't be insulted, I'm just using you as
an example of everything that's wrong
127
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:09,710
in our society.
128
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,240
I mean, excuse me for wanting to look
like a woman.
129
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,500
I'm just saying, not married, married.
130
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:21,200
Bitter, happy, not getting any.
131
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:24,550
Neighbors once called the police because
she thought...
132
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:33,928
Ivy League educated professional.
133
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:35,370
I can have any guy I want.
134
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,140
Then why are you so miserable and
lonely?
135
00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:42,450
Uh, because I... have no boobies, hips,
or ass.
136
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:49,640
Hey, everybody. It's Evan's birthday
today, so we're gonna have a little
137
00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:52,830
Wow. I can't believe my little brother's
25 today.
138
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,700
Do you remember your 25th birthday,
Drew?
139
00:08:56,410 --> 00:09:00,269
Yeah. I was, uh... I was working on the
same building, as a matter of fact. I
140
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,320
was on this floor.
141
00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:03,830
I was wearing a suit just like this.
142
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,950
Except I wasn't sitting here.
143
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,930
I was sitting here.
144
00:09:11,870 --> 00:09:14,190
Oh, God, I want to blow my brains out.
145
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:20,710
Pretty nice, huh, Drew?
146
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:22,960
Yeah.
147
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,310
What kind of cake is it?
148
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:29,030
Actually, it's three kinds of cake.
149
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:31,240
This part right here is devil's food
cake.
150
00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:34,609
Right in the middle is peppermint ice
cream. And this side over here is pretty
151
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,250
much just solid fudge.
152
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:41,830
Good thing I'm filled up on dried rice
and soy gluten.
153
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,460
Hey, everybody.
154
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,600
Surprise!
155
00:09:46,110 --> 00:09:49,210
I knew it, you bastard. You're forcing
me out.
156
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:53,760
No, it's your birthday. Check out the
cake, little brother.
157
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,130
Here you go.
158
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,410
Not for me, Tank.
159
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,490
Nothing tastes as good as being thin
-feeled.
160
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:20,820
Oh, wow.
161
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,370
This is amazing.
162
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,630
Oh, my God.
163
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:28,679
This is so smooth, so rich. Drew, you're
going to try a piece of this. No, thank
164
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,959
you. Oh, come on. One little bite's not
going to hurt.
165
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,010
No, thank you.
166
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:48,160
If I put the weapon down, can I get a
week off?
167
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,930
Hey, look at you, Mr.
168
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:57,650
Slim. Yeah, looks like it really paid
off.
169
00:10:57,651 --> 00:11:01,529
A week of nothing but ice chips and
black coffee, two hours of aerobics and
170
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,970
sweaty rubber suit every day.
171
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,720
For a guy who should be dead, you look
great.
172
00:11:06,721 --> 00:11:11,809
I don't understand why you wouldn't at
least eat some vegetables.
173
00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,340
I can't eat vegetables. They're covered
in cheese.
174
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:20,130
They have to be. No, they have to be.
175
00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:24,210
Well, good luck, handsome.
176
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:29,170
Is that a girdle?
177
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:34,550
No, it's a gentleman's abdominal
restraint system.
178
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,180
Well, whatever it is, Toots, it's giving
you a killer rack.
179
00:11:40,941 --> 00:11:48,369
you think with the weakest starvation
and all the dangerous exercise and this
180
00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:55,050
tight girdle, I'd be miserable, but I've
never felt better in my... life.
181
00:11:57,410 --> 00:11:58,460
What was that?
182
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,100
Oh, every once in a while I go blind for
a few seconds.
183
00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:08,110
Well, I'm off to find the future Mrs.
Carey.
184
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:09,960
Wish me luck.
185
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:20,449
You okay?
186
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:23,350
Yeah, fine. Do you guys see a turkey?
187
00:12:25,270 --> 00:12:26,930
No, I'm drunk.
188
00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:30,810
Hey, have a good night, okay? Have a
good time. Good luck, okay?
189
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,220
Hey,
190
00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:39,190
Larry. Carrie!
191
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,629
Ah, I wasn't sure if I was going to see
you here.
192
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,270
Looks like you lost a few pounds.
193
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,310
Yep, I lost 12 pounds to be exact.
194
00:12:45,311 --> 00:12:48,559
And that's just the beginning. I'm only
days away from my organs shutting down.
195
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,480
That's when the real weight loss comes.
196
00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:55,540
Well, 12 pounds is good, but I'm not
sure it's enough.
197
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,139
Hey, Amy.
198
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,640
How are you? Good to see you.
199
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,670
Come on, she smiled at me. That ought to
be enough.
200
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,360
Come on, Larry, let me in.
201
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,500
Please don't make me marry a hooker.
202
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,960
wants that. Now, here's the thing.
203
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,410
Karen, Joanne, and Lacey have really low
self -esteem.
204
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,610
I'd start with them.
205
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,320
Lacey! Bingo!
206
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,350
What does that mean?
207
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,860
Oh, uh, I knew a girl in high school
named Lacey Bingo.
208
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,800
Yep, that was her name -o.
209
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:49,099
Is it just me, or are these people way
too into their bodies? I mean,
210
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,560
showing off their best parts.
211
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:51,970
Yeah, it is pathetic.
212
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:55,380
By the way, do I have anything on my
butt?
213
00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:00,000
No, everything looks good from here.
214
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,600
I wasn't fishing for that, but thanks.
215
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,640
Oh, my God, those look delicious.
216
00:14:05,641 --> 00:14:09,419
Do you mind if I finish them off? I'm
starving. I haven't eaten since lunch.
217
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:12,550
Oh, you poor thing. Please, enjoy them
both right in front of me.
218
00:14:16,329 --> 00:14:18,859
So, I just got back from a job interview
in New York.
219
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:22,069
They like me, but I can't decide what to
do. I mean, I'd have to do all this
220
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:26,069
traveling. I'd have to commute from
Cleveland to New York, back and forth
221
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:29,189
back and forth. Plus, my parents live in
San Francisco, and I go there at least
222
00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:31,600
once a month, so I'd be doing all this
traveling.
223
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,540
Yeah, it looks like you have some
cheesy, delicious choices on your hand.
224
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,250
Well, this is too rich.
225
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:41,830
What are you doing? No!
226
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:47,680
bacon waster?
227
00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:54,229
Hey, listen, do you have any more of
those cheese and bacon hors d 'oeuvres
228
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:57,289
left? I'm sorry, sir. We stopped serving
hors d 'oeuvres. The dinner should be
229
00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:58,129
out any minute.
230
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,769
Okay, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
231
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:02,769
Listen, here's my card. I want you to
call me. My cell phone number's right on
232
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:06,380
there, and I'm going to meet you by the
kid's door when it's ready, okay?
233
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,540
Hey. Hey.
234
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,629
Aren't you the guy I saw in Larry's
office a couple of weeks ago?
235
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:12,990
Yeah. Hi, I'm Drew.
236
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,420
I'm Zizi.
237
00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:15,760
Fun party, huh?
238
00:15:15,761 --> 00:15:18,569
Yeah. I must have had like ten of those
hors d 'oeuvres.
239
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:21,160
Yeah, they're going to call me when
dinner's ready.
240
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:26,990
You're kind of cute, and I'm wondering
why Larry never fixed us up.
241
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,910
Beats me. I wish he had fixed us up.
242
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:36,390
I'd really like to find out all about
you. Yeah, well, I, uh... Hey,
243
00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:43,070
you know, uh, dinner's ready. Do you
mind if we just...
244
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:56,189
It must be a trick of the light. You
know, sometimes shadows look like a
245
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:58,050
turkey dinner with all the trimmings.
246
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,450
Boy, you must be hungry.
247
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:03,440
No, I'm fine. So tell me a little bit
about yourself.
248
00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:07,649
Okay, well, I have a little bookstore
downtown, and, you know, I don't make a
249
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:11,269
lot of money, but it's really kind of
fun. You know, do you like to read? I
250
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:17,889
mean, because reading... Are you
251
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:18,940
okay, Drew?
252
00:16:19,319 --> 00:16:20,639
Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
253
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,300
Bookstore. So tell me, what kind of food
do you serve at this bookstore?
254
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,360
Actually, we don't. I actually, well, I
could.
255
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:32,430
I could serve, I could serve chocolate
and condiments.
256
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,270
If you're not rich, you gotta give the
ladies something.
257
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,560
You feeling better, Joe? Yeah.
258
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:13,380
Any more hallucinations?
259
00:18:14,871 --> 00:18:16,899
No, I'm okay.
260
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:17,950
Thank God.
261
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:36,900
I've made a decision.
262
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,730
I'm calling off the wedding.
263
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:39,860
What?
264
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:44,709
Yep. I don't care how much it costs me.
This whole finding a wife and trying to
265
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:46,630
get married thing is just a stupid idea.
266
00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:50,530
No, it's not. It's a dream. There's
nothing stupid about a dream.
267
00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:54,080
For as long as I've known you, you've
wanted to find a wife.
268
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:59,430
So? Don't give up now. You have to have
faith, Drew Carey.
269
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,950
Well, what if I wasn't meant to be
married?
270
00:19:04,429 --> 00:19:07,739
Shame on you for turning your back on
the institution of marriage.
271
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:14,669
Don't you want to find someone who will
always be there for you day in and day
272
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:18,049
out until you're ready to fake your own
death just to get away from the sound of
273
00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:19,100
her voice?
274
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:21,850
Well, yeah.
275
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:26,069
Okay. And don't you want someone who
will always give you a kind word even
276
00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:27,990
though all you really want is oral sex?
277
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:32,790
Yeah, I guess I do.
278
00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:34,059
Yeah, huh?
279
00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:37,779
you want someone who will bear your
children and turn them against you while
280
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:38,830
you're at work?
281
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,980
Yeah. Yes, I do.
282
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:46,559
Okay. And don't you want someone to go
old and deaf and blind with until you
283
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,910
finally pretend that they aren't even
there?
284
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,620
Yeah. That's exactly what I want.
285
00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:54,979
Yeah. Well, you put your girdle back on,
mister, and get out there and find
286
00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:56,030
yourself a wife.
287
00:20:02,491 --> 00:20:08,659
What am I going to do? I already tried
everything. I tried personal, dating
288
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,710
services.
289
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,200
My cousin Gina's still available.
290
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,630
Did she ever get that thing removed from
her face?
291
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,020
That didn't work out so well.
292
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,440
But the bandage is that mare of mystery.
293
00:20:23,860 --> 00:20:25,960
I guess I could try her. She's not a
hooker.
294
00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:30,560
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
23746
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof