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Last week on Drew.

Drew, will you marry me?

You know, on paper she seemed perfect for me, but there's no, uh, no sparks.

It's like I'm getting married.

It's kind of weird, you know, I never, I'm 40 years old, I always thought

there'd be this magical thing, but I guess it just, it's never gonna happen.

Oh! Whoa.

Whoa. Sorry.

Hey. Did you see me chasing him?

Yep.

You didn't stop.

I need entertainment.

You took away my little TV.

Apparently, chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

Did you, uh... Did you do this just to see me?

Well, yeah.

You know, but if it freaks you out, you can easily outrun me.

No, no, I'm glad you came back.

I thought we had kind of a, um... moment there.

Hi, I'm Drew.

I'm Dawn.

I love your eyes.

Oh, thanks. I try to keep in shape by looking around a lot.

Can I kiss you?

Really? Yeah.

I got a feeling this is going to be great, and I want to say I started.

Wow.

Why don't more people ride the bus?

This is my stop.

Here.

Here's my phone number.

Don't lose it.

Yeah. Call you every five minutes.

But when she got on the bus, I, uh... I don't know. I just couldn't help myself.

Can't say I blame you.

A lot of romance happens on this bus.

In fact, I'm like the captain of a ship.

City is better than me, the power to marry people.

Really? No.

passengers at the bottom of the river what

i said good luck

tell a woman you're not going to marry her, are you? Yeah, why not?

What do you mean you don't want to marry me?

Now, if you guys will excuse me, she's going to be here any minute.

What, are you bringing a woman over here just to dump her?

Hey, I got a better idea. When she comes over, We'll meet her at the door and

say, Drew Carey?

Drew Carey's been dead for nigh on 70 -odd years.

It was her idea to come over. She's going to be in the neighborhood anyway

because she's taking her dog to the vet.

Well, at least she'll have a dog to comfort her after you dump her.

Actually, she's having to put to sleep.

Drew, I've got to tell you, I think you're making a mistake. I like Robin,

you just met this other girl.

Like Robin, too, but you don't marry someone just because you like them.

I agree, Drew. You know, when you set this deadline to get married, I was

you were just going to settle for the first person who came along.

I'm glad that you're following your heart.

Yeah, well, there's nothing wrong with settling.

It's like my dad always said, when you got nothing special, you got nothing

special to lose.

We got a meeting of our book club on the front porch discussing

changing our club into something more fun.

Okay, Drew, great news. They screwed up the blood test. My dog is going to be

fine after all. That is great. That's fantastic.

So no matter what else happens today, you can always say, hey, it's me and my

doggy against the world.

What are you trying to tell me?

Oh, uh, Ra, I just, I don't think I can marry you.

Oh. I mean, it's nothing against you. You're great.

You're terrific.

It's okay.

I'll be fine.

I'll just call the matchmaker and get working on somebody else.

Boy.

Don't waste any time, do you?

Well, I'm serious about getting married.

Yeah, I know that, but, uh, I mean, I didn't mean anything to you.

Of course you did. You were great, really.

You don't mean that.

Yes, I do.

Really? Then where are the tears?

Look, Drew, we've only known each other a few weeks, and I thought that this had

potential. But if it doesn't, I'm a big girl, and I can handle that.

Oh.

Great, good. I thought this was going to be tough.

Glad you know I had absolutely no life.

Are you going to be okay?

Fine, I'm fine.

Just go, please. I'm sorry.

Hey,

we just saw her leave. You did say no, right? Because she didn't look too

It's called a state of shock.

Hi.

Do you have a table for two?

I'm sorry, sir. All these tables are reserved.

Sorry.

That's okay, sweetie.

We can get some wine and cheese and have our own little picnic.

Make a beer and cheese, you got a deal.

Wait.

You're such a charming couple and you're so much in love.

Right this way.

Are these tables all really reserved?

No.

Champagne for the lovely couple.

To Dawn, may you be the first light of all of my days.

To Drew, you are the past tense of draw,

which is what artists do when they make beautiful pictures.

This toasting stuff is hard. Let's not do it anymore.

it really slowed me down.

I think you found something to wear.

Yeah, can I keep it?

Drew, you don't think we're moving too fast.

I mean, it felt right to me. I just want to make sure you feel the same way.

No, it was great. You're great.

No, I love everything about you.

Hey, listen, I have something to tell you.

I'm getting married in May.

What? Yeah, it's not what you think.

You know, I set this goal for myself, so I made all the plans, I rented a hall

and everything, and now I just have to find the right woman to marry.

Oh, Drew.

That is so beautiful.

I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Wow. You know, if your head was made of chocolate, you'd be perfect.

I'm going to go take a quick shower. I made breakfast for you.

Well, keep it warm for me. Hey, you've been to bed with me. You know I only

one temperature.

Hot!

shape she's in, she wouldn't eat this junk.

Uh, excuse me, who are you?

Oh, sorry, I'm Jim. I live above Don's garage.

Really? Yeah. Is she aware of that?

Yeah. We used to date. We broke up about a month ago. Now we're just really good

friends.

Huh.

Interesting.

Not the kind of friend that would say, jump in the shower with her, are you?

I missed you.

Aw.

Who's Jim?

Oh, you meant Jim.

We used to go out, but now we're just friends. He lives in the back and takes

care of the place when I travel.

And that's it, Drew.

Oh, I guess. That's all there is to it. I'm sorry. I just got a little jealous.

That's okay. It's sweet.

Oh, there's a man with a package here for you.

We lived together for a year, and now we're just friends, and we go biking a

couple times a week.

Really? A little cold to go biking, isn't it?

We work up a pretty good sweat together.

Is that the only way you guys work up a sweat together?

It's really getting on my nerves, I've got to tell you.

All right, Drake, why don't you wait outside, and I'll be with you in a

Okay, I'm going to go check on the gutters I put in.

Right.

Drew, you shouldn't feel

threatened. I just, I stay friends with a lot of my exes.

Frankly, I like to help around the house.

Jim's a good gardener and Drake's a great carpenter.

Do you know how many porno movies start out with the handyman coming to the

door?

Look, Drew.

There's a reason I'm not with those guys anymore.

I needed somebody special.

I needed you.

Oh.

I'm glad I met you, too.

Hey, go ride your bike.

You want to come?

No, you know, I don't know if it's the pajamas talking, but I'm just going to

stay here and watch my stories.

Excuse me.

Feet taken?

Well, you're welcome to sit there, but it's only fair to warn you I ain't

looking for a guy.

Separated from my husband, I've been feeling really lonely, and I'm just here

be around people.

I understand.

I'm happy to just talk.

All right. Pull up a stool.

Your name's Mimi. I'm Bob.

Separated, huh?

That's tough.

Been divorced for four years. I'm still not over it.

We met in high school.

Think something's going to last forever, and then it doesn't, and it breaks your

heart.

Good night.

There's no point talking to a guy in a bar if you ain't gonna get your chimney

swept.

Well, you know, sometimes just making a connection with another nice person is

its own reward.

That's a good one. Leave him laughing, eh, Bob?

Wait a minute.

Her ex -boyfriend lives above her garage?

No, he's the only one.

The rest of them just kind of hang out and do chores and stuff.

How many ex -boyfriends are there?

I don't know, four or five. Only three of them have keys, though.

Oh, I see.

What? Well, Drew, she's obviously one of these women that men fall in love with

and won't leave.

And I don't want you to turn into one of them.

No, no, nothing's going to happen. We've got something special between us,

believe me.

That's not the way it's going to go.

Yeah, well, just be careful. There's only one reason a man hangs around a

gorgeous woman. He wants her. That's right.

Hey, you're cute, but you're not gorgeous.

Look, there's a lot of reasons they could be hanging around with her, okay?

Maybe they're hanging around with her just because they're trying to be nice,

all right? Because they like her.

And, you know, then maybe she'll, you know, reciprocate in a

non -sexual manner, you know, the way that men and women have done throughout

the ages. Oh, crap.

Well, good morning, gentlemen, and thanks for coming in on such short

So what's up, Drew? What do you want to talk to us about?

Yeah, this is about adding on the new bathroom, because now that you're here,

really could use another one.

No, it's not about any of that. Now, listen, I'd like to keep this on a

professional level and not get bogged down in a lot of messy emotions.

Due to the changing nature of our relationship environment, we decided to

downsize.

Drake, you and you.

I'm going to have to let you go.

Hey,

what about me? I live above the garage.

I've got no place to go.

Sorry, we're not running a charity here.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry, guys.

You know you're going to have to shovel snow for her. I live to shovel snow.

And you're gonna have to go bike riding with it. I love riding bikes.

You're gonna have to get the dead raccoon out of the chimney.

You know what?

Don would really appreciate it if you took care of that four.

Oh.

See, the hare finally caught up with the tortoise.

Yeah, the hare saw the tortoise dragging his bike onto the bus.

drag it, okay? I used the wheelchair lift.

Huh.

Now, you can't expect to ride at my level yet. I've been doing this for

and you just started.

Uh, I could have kept up, but I was up at six installing your storm windows.

You didn't have to do that. My ex -boyfriend Rick has a storm window

No, no, no. No more Ricks, okay?

By the way, last time I moved your armoire up to your bedroom.

You did that by yourself?

Yeah.

Jim and Drake were gonna do it with a dolly.

Ah, it's no big deal.

By the way, the Vicodin is gone.

Also, the neighbors called the police. They thought they heard a woman

screaming.

Honey, I really appreciate all the work you've been doing for me this week, but

I gotta admit, I kind of miss the time we used to spend just talking.

We're gonna be talking a lot because I broke your TV while I was trying to fix

your VCR.

I'm gonna go get a beer.

Tim, have a beer, please.

Oh, sorry.

Bought you beer.

Sorry about bumping into you.

Been on my boat all day. I guess I don't have my land legs.

Thanks.

What kind of boat do you have?

Sailboat. Just a little 30 -footer. It's about 50 years old, all wood.

Inherited from my grandfather.

Wow.

My dad used to have a sailboat.

We used to take it out. We took it out in Florida for a month. It was one of

best months of my life.

I'm going to take it down to St. Lawrence Sailway out to Bermuda next

Oh, I envy you.

Well, Drew, I'm off to Bermuda.

See you in three months, honey.

It's so cool that you're okay with this.

You're letting me live my dream.

Oh, yeah, have fun on the little boat with Grant.

Time to shove off, Dawn.

Aye, aye, Captain.

I'll take good care of her, Drew.

You know, it's kind of a small boat.

You have more than one bed in that thing, don't you?

God, I hate that.

Bye, Drew.

Yeah, bon voyage.

Sorry, Drew.

But this shouldn't be a surprise to you. This is what she does.

She puts a spell on men and then moves on.

I think she's afraid of commitment.

I mean, her feelings for you were so strong, the only way she could deal with

them was to sail away to a tropical paradise.

With another man.

Next Friday, Drew's job is on the line.

No!

He's got two days to learn computers.

You must be pretty desperate to pay some lady you met on the Internet a hundred

bucks an hour to teach you computer programming. Got a better idea?

Can some lady on the Internet pay her a hundred bucks to have sex with your

friend Lewis?

Or get his own computer wizard. You know, you're never going to learn how to

this if you don't do it yourself.

Look, I don't need a lecture from a 16 -year -old girl, okay? I just needed to

do my job for him.

Next week on The Drew Carey Show.

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?