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1
00:00:02,019 --> 00:00:06,739
Hey! Hey, I need to get your opinion.
These are napkin samples I have for my
2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:07,790
wedding reception.
3
00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:11,800
Okay, uh, May 19th, 2003.
4
00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:14,400
D .A .C. and T .B .D.
5
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:17,420
True love forever.
6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,900
D .A .C.? Drew, Alice, and Carrie.
7
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And T .B .D.? To be determined.
8
00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:28,880
Drew, that's just...
9
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:30,570
S -A -D.
10
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,940
Hey, I said I was going to get married
May 19th. I'm making it happen.
11
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:39,900
Honey, I hate to tell you this, but
napkins are not going to get you a
12
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,270
I know that. I have a date coming by any
second. Oh, that's great.
13
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,290
And to keep you charming, I'll make sure
she stays hammered.
14
00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,070
I don't need that.
15
00:00:48,071 --> 00:00:52,199
I'm going to use a little thing I
learned called the mirroring technique.
16
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,079
What's that?
17
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,059
That's when you mirror someone else's
gestures. It reassures them that you're
18
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:57,110
just like they are.
19
00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:58,790
I don't know.
20
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,370
Well,
21
00:01:00,371 --> 00:01:01,519
you know what?
22
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,050
I guess it could work. It just sounds so
calculated.
23
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,800
You know, that's a good point.
24
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,560
You're very observant.
25
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:11,970
I'm observant? Well, thank you. I never
noticed that about myself.
26
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,840
That everything you get from a comic
book is stupid.
27
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,400
Give me a beer, Tim. Keep it coming.
28
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:21,240
Hey, Oswald, what's the matter?
29
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,120
I did something really awful last night.
30
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,880
I hit my mom in the face with a bowling
ball.
31
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You did what?
32
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,519
Well, we were bowling, and she was
getting on me about drinking too much,
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kept fighting, and when I went to take
my backswing, the ball slipped and hit
34
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,150
her right in the face, and she lost two
teeth.
35
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,600
My poor mom.
36
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,820
First 30 hours of labor giving birth to
my big pumpkin head.
37
00:01:49,101 --> 00:01:55,749
I hope you weren't waiting too long.
They kept me late at the bank. Oh, no
38
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:56,800
problem. Have a seat.
39
00:01:57,390 --> 00:02:01,449
Wow. Way better looking than it worked.
That bulletproof glass must really
40
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:02,590
distort your features.
41
00:02:02,591 --> 00:02:05,229
Can I get you something to drink?
42
00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:06,280
Yes, please.
43
00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:08,450
Can I have another beer over here?
44
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:11,490
So, tell me about yourself.
45
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:16,970
Well, I was born in Illinois, but we
moved here when I was 12.
46
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,520
Go on.
47
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:21,750
Well, originally, I was thinking of
being a doctor.
48
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:25,650
But I ran out of money a couple of years
into med school.
49
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:30,390
So about six months ago, I decided to
study business instead.
50
00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:33,370
Business? That's fascinating.
51
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,970
Are you making fun of my list?
52
00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:43,850
What? Oh, no. Oh, God, no. No, I was
just caught up mirroring you. I'm sorry.
53
00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:45,160
Sorry.
54
00:02:45,841 --> 00:02:47,889
That's enough.
55
00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:48,970
No, I'm... Bonnie!
56
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:50,240
Bonnie! Hey!
57
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,099
More than that.
58
00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:41,589
You're just typing in random letters.
59
00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,010
What? What?
60
00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:44,650
And you are?
61
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:49,380
I'm Rand. I'm the systems installation
engineer.
62
00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:51,700
Do you know what you're doing here?
What?
63
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:53,920
What are you saying? What are you
saying?
64
00:03:53,921 --> 00:03:57,309
That I don't know what I'm doing? That
I'm just sitting here collecting a
65
00:03:57,310 --> 00:03:59,720
paycheck for nothing? That I'm doing
nothing?
66
00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:02,640
And if you're saying that, is anybody
else saying it?
67
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:10,340
All I know is that you're not using a
computer language that I recognize.
68
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:12,690
It's not Linux.
69
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,570
It's a new language. It's called Manic.
70
00:04:18,709 --> 00:04:21,359
It's a rogue language. It plays by its
own set of rules.
71
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:23,730
It does sound vaguely familiar.
72
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,610
I guess I better go bone up on this
Manic.
73
00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,250
Try Nick at night, Frodo.
74
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,380
Muffin, scone, Danish.
75
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:45,200
Mr. Wick, I thought you were the
janitor. I was the janitor.
76
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,320
I'm moving up the corporate ladder.
77
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,130
You had a nice old lady that used to
work here.
78
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,790
It seems she met with an unfortunate
accident.
79
00:04:56,020 --> 00:05:01,259
Apparently, a careless janitor left a
slick of oil at the top of the stairs,
80
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:02,310
she broke her leg.
81
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,150
You broke an old lady's leg just to
become Muffin Boy?
82
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,460
No, she broke her own leg.
83
00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:12,660
I simply created an environment where
leg -breaking was possible.
84
00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:17,969
Thank you so much for letting me babysit
this weekend, Mimi. I really need the
85
00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:21,280
money. Well, make sure he's in bed by
nine. We'll be home by midnight.
86
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:24,500
Yeah, that's when a spell turns from an
ogre into a troll.
87
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:29,480
I don't really see the point, but hey,
witches, what are you going to do, huh?
88
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,300
Hey. Hey.
89
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:32,730
So, how's the dating?
90
00:05:33,290 --> 00:05:34,610
Great. I have a date tonight.
91
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:38,630
Great. Well, tell me all about it. Well,
she works at my video store. You know,
92
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,729
we really hit it off right from the
start, but we couldn't do anything
93
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:41,489
she had a boyfriend.
94
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:43,309
But she dumped him because guess what?
95
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,030
He doesn't want to get married.
96
00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:46,730
And you do.
97
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:51,350
I think somebody up there forgot he
doesn't like you.
98
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:57,769
That's why I don't want to blow it, you
know. But ever since I set this marriage
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00:05:57,770 --> 00:05:59,690
goal, I think I've been trying too hard.
100
00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:02,589
Well, when you feel yourself pushing too
hard, just pull back.
101
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:05,060
Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just
come with me?
102
00:06:05,061 --> 00:06:07,259
And you stop me if I do anything wrong.
103
00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:08,310
On your date?
104
00:06:08,311 --> 00:06:12,499
No, you won't make it a double date. Do
you get to get out of the house, too,
105
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:15,659
you know? No, forget it, Drew. I'm still
getting over my marriage. I don't want
106
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,160
to have anything to do with men.
107
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,350
Well, come on.
108
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,620
Look, I'll pay you.
109
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,150
True.
110
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,650
We're friends.
111
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:24,900
No, I have $50.
112
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,430
I thought we were better friends than
that.
113
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:39,970
Oh, my God. This is my date?
114
00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:50,209
What's the matter with you? I told you
you were going out with me and Kelly
115
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,970
tonight. Oh, I'm sorry.
116
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,530
I just feel so bad about my mom.
117
00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:56,670
Look what I did to her.
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00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:04,349
Oswald, Oswald, you have to get over
this guilt. Why don't you buy her
119
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,460
nice? Maybe that'll make you feel
better.
120
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,370
Be a good star?
121
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:10,280
I'll go down to the mall right now.
122
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,120
You're going in a robe?
123
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,850
Well, I should think so. I'm naked
underneath.
124
00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:25,019
Hey, listen, uh, you're too drunk to go
to the mall. Why don't you just buy her
125
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:26,279
something nice off the internet?
126
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,810
Oh, that's a good idea. I'll get her
something nice.
127
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,800
Hey, I'm sorry about the date, Callie.
128
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,400
You know, it's a funny thing.
129
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,440
Three beers, I'm the most charming man
in the world.
130
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,660
Seventeen and I'm like this.
131
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,740
Watch out for that seventeenth beer.
132
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,720
Sorry, Drew, I guess you're on your own.
No, no, I'll get you a date.
133
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,010
Come on.
134
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,140
What kind of geek is going to be home on
a Friday night?
135
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:02,460
Sure was lucky you were available on
such short notice.
136
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:10,439
Listen to this. The meteor shower should
be starting any minute.
137
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,490
Wow, this is cool.
138
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,180
I never met a guy with an almanac
before.
139
00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:20,019
You know, listen, Faithy, I have to tell
you, of all the employee pics at the
140
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:21,700
video store, I like yours the best.
141
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,459
I mean, I would have never rented Moulin
Rouge if I hadn't given it three and a
142
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,510
half smiles.
143
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,100
You liked it?
144
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,040
I loved it.
145
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:33,279
You're going to be bad for business, I
can tell, because she doesn't love you.
146
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,330
The Maharaja.
147
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,260
But I did, too. What about the clown?
148
00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:41,310
Is everything all right, Kelly?
149
00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:44,000
You're awfully quiet for such a heavy
drinker.
150
00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:49,550
Look, I'm sorry, Rand, if I'm not the
best date.
151
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:54,570
I just got divorced after a long,
horrible marriage.
152
00:08:56,930 --> 00:09:00,210
Well, I guess that's why a goddess
should never marry a mortal.
153
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,190
You think I'm a goddess?
154
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:06,900
Yes.
155
00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:11,510
I'm mad at myself right now.
156
00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:12,780
Why?
157
00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:16,290
Well, I'm mad that I'm not a sculptor.
158
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,989
I mean, if I were, I could capture you
in Marvel so that future generations
159
00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:22,290
could be inspired by you.
160
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:26,660
Wow.
161
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:28,230
You have three kids, too.
162
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:32,200
Now, let me ask you, what religion would
you raise them in?
163
00:09:32,201 --> 00:09:36,069
Oh, well, I would expose them to all
religions, you know, and then when they
164
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,810
old enough, I would let them decide.
165
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,380
That's exactly how I feel.
166
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:44,220
Drew, why are you asking me all these
questions?
167
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,970
It kind of sounds like you're going
through a list.
168
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:52,219
Well, to be honest, I'm just not in this
for a date. I mean, I set a goal for
169
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:53,270
myself.
170
00:09:53,271 --> 00:09:56,119
I'm going to find the person I'm meant
to be with. I'm going to get married on
171
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,170
May 19th.
172
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,010
Okay, well, hey, it was nice meeting
you. I'll let the stars guide me home.
173
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,900
I think this is really refreshing.
174
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,190
Really? Yeah.
175
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,940
Hey. Hey, look over there.
176
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:14,970
It's a shooting star.
177
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,240
Would you quit kicking the back of it?
178
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,250
Oh, my God.
179
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:42,279
When you said double date, I thought
this might be kind of fun, but this is
180
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,330
creepy.
181
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:46,250
Look, I'm very sorry. Would you knock it
off?
182
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:50,350
Look, I didn't pay you to do that, okay?
I paid you to watch us.
183
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:55,220
Watch us do what?
184
00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:00,020
You know, she was supposed to keep an
eye on me in case I did it wrong.
185
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,690
Oh, my God.
186
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,250
You're a little sick.
187
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,320
No, no, no. You know, it's...
188
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:11,349
It's sometimes when I'm with a woman, I
push too hard, so... She's supposed to
189
00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:12,400
hold me back.
190
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:15,300
Drew,
191
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,870
I am so, so sorry.
192
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:19,650
Yeah, you should be.
193
00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:21,140
She was great.
194
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,430
Yeah, well, not as great as my lady.
195
00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:26,840
Shut up.
196
00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:35,450
Drew, I gotta talk to you. I did
something stupid.
197
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,210
Just to save time, just tell me you did
something.
198
00:11:40,211 --> 00:11:44,339
Well, I went on eBay, but I couldn't
find anything nice for my mom, so I just
199
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:46,570
hired a guy to come and beat the crap
out of me.
200
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,130
Yeah, right.
201
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,770
No, I'm serious. There's a guy in
Chicago who'll beat you up for 200
202
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,300
And I was feeling so bad about myself, I
hired him.
203
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:58,879
You know, from now on, when Lewis goes
out of town for a week, I'm just leaving
204
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,410
you with that nice high school boy down
the street.
205
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:05,770
Just call the guy and tell him you don't
want the beating. I tried that.
206
00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:08,760
His machine says I can't come to the
phone right now.
207
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,630
I've gone to Cleveland to beat up a guy.
208
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,650
I can't go home. Can I stay with you?
209
00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,070
All right, fine. But you know what?
210
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:21,509
I don't care if the tree outside my
house does look like a man with a
211
00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:24,040
don't want to roll over until you're in
bed with me.
212
00:12:24,921 --> 00:12:27,009
Thanks, man.
213
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:29,000
I promise. You won't even know I'm
there.
214
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:32,089
It doesn't matter. It's not like I'm
bringing any dates home anyway.
215
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:34,249
Oh, what happened to the girl from the
video store?
216
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,329
Well, she could have been the one, and
then Kelly ruins it by going out in the
217
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,470
back seat with that guy.
218
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:41,620
That's weird.
219
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:45,080
She said she didn't want anything to do
with guys right now. I know.
220
00:12:45,290 --> 00:12:46,340
I know.
221
00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:52,240
I wonder.
222
00:12:55,530 --> 00:13:00,050
When we were kids, I promised Kelly I'd
never tell you.
223
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,100
Oswald, you owe me.
224
00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:08,699
Who in fourth grade got you out of that
septic tank but no one else would come
225
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,750
near you?
226
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:11,790
Septic tank guy.
227
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:14,420
Who called septic tank guy?
228
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,090
Police.
229
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:18,000
Who called the police?
230
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:19,310
Neighbors.
231
00:13:19,311 --> 00:13:21,539
Who told the neighbors to call the
police?
232
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,590
Louis.
233
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:26,810
Who told Louis to go to the neighbor's
house? All right, I'll take it.
234
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:31,180
When we were kids, Kelly had a crush on
you.
235
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,690
Get out of here.
236
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,190
No, it's true.
237
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:39,869
And I'll bet she still has a crush on
you. And I'll bet when she saw you
238
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:43,060
along so well with the girl from the
video store, she went crazy.
239
00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:44,490
Decided to make you jealous.
240
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,300
No, she would never crush on me after
all this time.
241
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:49,740
Oh, yeah? You had a crush on Kate for
how long?
242
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,630
Well, at least it does kind of make
sense.
243
00:13:57,710 --> 00:14:01,440
You know, the other day she came over
and caught me vacuuming in my cutoffs.
244
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,700
had a little bit of trouble keeping her
eyes up here.
245
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:16,800
Hello,
246
00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:24,940
Mr. Harvey. I'm here about the ass
-kicking.
247
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,210
Let me call me Mr. Jericho.
248
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:31,860
You have a really lovely place here.
I'll need a glass of water.
249
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,300
I brought my own tarp.
250
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:43,719
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I was
drunk. I was feeling really bad about
251
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,100
when I ordered your service.
252
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,380
Mr. Harvey, I'm not an unreasonable man.
253
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,300
You're in a lot of pain, aren't you?
254
00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:53,740
Would you like to talk about it?
255
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:55,430
Yeah.
256
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,070
Have a seat.
257
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,570
Tell me everything.
258
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,580
Well, I did something really awful.
259
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:09,520
To my mom. And I feel really guilty
about it, but it was an accident.
260
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:10,930
I see.
261
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,330
Is it possible that subconsciously you
actually wished her harm?
262
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:15,720
Oh, my God.
263
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:20,810
That's true. That makes me the worst son
in the world.
264
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:21,950
Oh, there now.
265
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:24,790
Mother -son relationships are very
complicated.
266
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,460
Need, regret, guilt, attraction.
267
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,540
It's a hot froth of emotion that will
scald you unless you sip it slowly.
268
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,960
So what I'm going to is normal.
269
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,210
Oh, absolutely.
270
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:44,739
I would suggest opening up the lines of
communication, perhaps starting out by
271
00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,540
sending her a bouquet of flowers.
272
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:50,540
Remember, there's nothing more forgiving
than a mother's love.
273
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:53,990
Wow.
274
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,410
Thanks, man.
275
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,720
You know, I feel a lot better.
276
00:15:58,020 --> 00:15:59,220
Oh, my pleasure.
277
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:05,939
I have my commitments to fulfill, Mr.
Harvey. I do have my eBay ratings to
278
00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:06,990
consider.
279
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:18,670
We need you to babysit next weekend.
We're going to a renaissance fair.
280
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,010
Really? You?
281
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:24,079
Yep. We like to blow through on our
Harleys and chase the geeks prancing
282
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,130
the maypole.
283
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,900
So anyway, talking pig walks into a bar
and says, hey guys.
284
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,170
Hey guys.
285
00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:41,849
I just want to say that I'm really sorry
again about what happened in the car.
286
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:47,609
Listen, I know that there's a part of
you that may be sorry, and that there's
287
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:50,730
another part of you that maybe isn't so
sorry.
288
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:53,230
What are you talking about?
289
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:57,630
Kelly, Oswald told me about your crush,
and I'm flattered.
290
00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:01,310
It can't be. It can never be.
291
00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:03,000
My crush?
292
00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:04,460
Yeah, I mean...
293
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:09,000
I like you too, but not in that way. I
mean, not now.
294
00:17:09,859 --> 00:17:11,119
You're interested in fun.
295
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:14,010
I want something completely different. I
want marriage.
296
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:23,639
Drew, I was 13 years old when I told
Oswald that I don't have a crush on you
297
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,690
anymore.
298
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:28,839
I mean, I think you're really, really
sweet, Drew, and everything, but I...
299
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,499
why did you go at it with that guy in
the back seat when he saw me getting
300
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,559
interested in safety?
301
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,820
Because I was drunk.
302
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,839
and he said that I was beautiful and
it's been three years since my ex
303
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,360
or any guy has touched me.
304
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,650
Oh.
305
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,600
I'm sorry if you got the wrong
impression.
306
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,079
No, no, no.
307
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,800
It fits the pattern.
308
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:55,599
Every time I think a girl likes me,
there always seems to be a more logical
309
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,650
explanation.
310
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,760
That was hard.
311
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,710
Yeah, what's the matter?
312
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:09,030
Well, Stu thought that I had a crush on
him, and I had to let him down.
313
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:13,010
The pig thought you had a crush on him?
Like it's a boob on a stick.
314
00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:17,460
Don't call him names, okay, with an
honest mistake.
315
00:18:17,461 --> 00:18:21,309
Look, all I'm saying is he should stick
to women he can get, like lesbians
316
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,630
looking for a booster shot.
317
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:32,530
Mimi, knock it off. He is a great guy,
and he's really nice, and there's...
318
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,670
Plenty of women who would be really,
really attracted to him.
319
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,080
Holy crap, you got a crush on him.
320
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:46,139
No, I don't. No, I don't. Okay, maybe I
did when I was a kid, but that was a
321
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:52,019
long time ago. And then I ran into him
again after all these years, and I
322
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:55,400
thought, it's nice to see my old friend.
323
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,860
And he still looks pretty good.
324
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:01,180
Especially in cut -offs.
325
00:19:07,901 --> 00:19:15,349
Not that it's any of your business, but
even if I did like him, Drew wants to
326
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:17,810
get married and I don't.
327
00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:19,329
That's good.
328
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:21,870
God's still batting him around like a
cat toy.
329
00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:29,289
You have to promise me that you won't
tell Drew. I don't want any of this to
330
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:30,430
affect our friendship.
331
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:32,590
All right, we have to make a deal.
332
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:38,609
If he starts getting depressed and
thinks that nobody loves him and he's
333
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,050
thinking about ending it all.
334
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:42,210
And you can't tell him either.
335
00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:50,800
Hey, get in here. Dr. Quinn's fighting a
cougar.
336
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:54,150
I just love that you have all the Dr.
337
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:55,300
Quinns on DVD.
338
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:03,229
Hey, uh, listen, I'm really sorry about
what I said about you having a crush on
339
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:04,490
all that. I was way off base.
340
00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:05,600
Oh, true.
341
00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,470
Just forget it. I forgot about it.
342
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:08,700
Okay.
343
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:12,960
What?
344
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:17,110
Oh, no. No, no, no. I actually... You
had a little, um... You know, run. No.
345
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,440
Clean.
346
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:41,860
Next week on Drew.
347
00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:44,589
Something I never thought I'd be saying
to Cordy. My mom will be here with my
348
00:20:44,590 --> 00:20:45,640
date any minute.
349
00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:48,080
Mom's helping Drew look for his future
wife.
350
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:50,730
I know exactly what you like in a woman.
351
00:20:50,731 --> 00:20:54,189
Then explain the parade of turkey neck
spinsters you've been bringing by.
352
00:20:54,190 --> 00:20:56,030
But when this one looks like a winner.
353
00:20:56,031 --> 00:20:57,169
I'll be right back.
354
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,030
Will she bring out the animal in Drew?
355
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:03,010
Silly me, I was expecting a negligee.
She came back out just like a squirrel.
356
00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:04,200
Like a playboy bunny.
357
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:07,150
No, like holding our sign outside of a
tire store sport.
358
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:11,100
Can I get a videotape of the two of you
making the fur fly?
359
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:15,700
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