All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s07e27 The Underpantsguy.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,820 morning morning 2 00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:25,980 monday 3 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:28,580 huh yep all day 4 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:49,420 Isn't this the day the guy with the colorful ties comes to water the ferns? 5 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,440 it's next Monday. 6 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,700 Oh. 7 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:59,200 Oh, my God. 8 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:00,680 Oh, 9 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,140 my. 10 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,700 I don't think we're in Winford Louder anymore. 11 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:14,360 Well, this can't be a dream because I still have my clothes on. 12 00:01:14,970 --> 00:01:16,570 It can't be a nightmare because you still have your clothes on. 13 00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:23,690 Oh, do you like it? Like it? I love it. 14 00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:25,130 Oh, good. 15 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:30,070 I was worried that it would make your drab little home seem even more drab, 16 00:01:30,070 --> 00:01:32,110 Daddy reminded me that's not my problem. 17 00:01:33,290 --> 00:01:37,570 I wanted to do something to reward my employees. My accountant informs me that 18 00:01:37,570 --> 00:01:39,390 Mercer Industries has had its best year ever. 19 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,600 So I bought an island off Spain for me and some new desks and lights for you. 20 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,580 I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. I was busy playing with my light. 21 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:54,740 Morning, everybody. 22 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,880 What the hell's with the bathrobe? And tighten your belt because I just saw 23 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,880 junk. 24 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:11,500 a corporate masseuse. I've just had the most relaxing Swedish massage of my 25 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,478 entire life. 26 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,140 She would not, however, provide a happy ending. 27 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,880 Well, don't look at me. 28 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:28,200 Masseuse, cappuccino, all new stuff. Thank you, Lord Mercer. And thank you, 29 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,020 Oh, I love how poor people hug. 30 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,340 They actually touch in everything. 31 00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:39,090 Yes, I guess if you don't have things, you have to make do with people. 32 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:43,450 Excuse me. Hi, looking for Drew Carey? That's me. 33 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:45,770 Wow. 34 00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:50,390 The way my day's been going, this must be for Miss Candice Bergen. 35 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,030 Oh, my God. 36 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:57,290 What's the matter? 37 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,310 It's for my ex -wife, Mickey. 38 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:01,930 Oh, really? An unmarked package from a woman who hates you? Well, it's probably 39 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,850 not a bomb. Read nothing into me running away. 40 00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,610 What's all this about, then? 41 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:11,790 Well, a little while ago, I married two women at the same time. Got a little 42 00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:13,030 sticky. But I learned something. 43 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:15,030 Women, they don't like that. 44 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:19,450 You don't think she would actually try to hurt you, do you? 45 00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:21,130 Why, I don't know. 46 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:27,530 You know, you have every right to be angry. How dare you give me the right to 47 00:03:27,530 --> 00:03:28,990 angry? Maybe I don't want to be angry. 48 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:33,930 Are you not angry? Of course I'm angry. What you did to me was ugly enough, and 49 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:34,930 it just got uglier. 50 00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,810 Oh, I guess Kate told you that I chose her over you. 51 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:42,130 Oh, 52 00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,470 look what I did. I just made it worse. 53 00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:53,670 Yeah, but just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's still going to be 54 00:03:53,670 --> 00:03:55,170 holding a grudge after all this time, does it? 55 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,820 Back where it comes from. 56 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,040 Excessive crude attitude. 57 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:18,339 It's back where it comes from. 58 00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:42,069 what Nikki got you. 59 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:46,250 What the hell? 60 00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:48,550 Chocolate roses and milk bones? 61 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:53,850 Yeah. I came with this card. Drew, thinking of you and Speedy, Nikki. 62 00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,730 Are the bomb squad guys mad that you called them out for nothing? 63 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,670 We yell a lot, but I think this is because they're deaf. 64 00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:03,850 I think she wants to get back together with you. 65 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,170 Or kill you. 66 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:09,310 What? How do you get that from chocolate roses and milk bones? 67 00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:13,370 Chocolate roses, black roses, the sign of death. 68 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,530 And milk bones equals die like a dog. 69 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,670 Wow. That makes sense. 70 00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:25,650 She doesn't want to kill me. 71 00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:28,470 I mean, Kay was mad at me too, but she got over it. 72 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,190 Well, I had a chance to work through my anger. 73 00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:38,690 Well, glad to see you got that out of your system. 74 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,560 Oh! 75 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,040 Hey, feel better? 76 00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:17,420 A little. 77 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,740 You know, sometimes my right eye still bothers me, among other things located 78 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:26,740 my right -hand side. 79 00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:33,340 Yeah, but Nikki's had to hold all that anger in. I mean, if I hadn't been able 80 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:37,880 to get that out and had all that time to sit around and think about how you lied 81 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:42,850 to me and deceived me, I would be dying to beat the crap out of you. have one 82 00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:43,850 good eye. 83 00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:47,810 Okay, look, we agree she wants to kill you, but how's she going to do that with 84 00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:49,170 chocolate roses and milk bones? 85 00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:51,830 Well, it's obvious. 86 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,730 Poison. In the chocolate roses? 87 00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:56,330 Yeah, in the chocolate roses. 88 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:04,610 What? 89 00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:07,390 Do I have chocolate on my face? 90 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,090 How you feeling there, buddy? 91 00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:11,910 Why? 92 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,280 I don't want it to kill you, but how is she going to do that with chocolate 93 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,320 roses and milk foam? 94 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,960 Well, it's obvious. 95 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,360 It's poison. 96 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:23,840 In the chocolate roses? 97 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,440 Yeah, in the chocolate roses. 98 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,680 What? 99 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,500 Do I have chocolate on my face? 100 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,120 How are you feeling there, buddy? 101 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:40,940 Why? 102 00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:59,240 If I'm going to die, I have to tell you something. I buried $63 in a box in the 103 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,920 backyard of my mom's house. 104 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:04,140 That was 30 years ago, so there's no telling what it's worth now. 105 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,140 Relax, man. Nothing's going to happen. If you're going to be sick, you'll be 106 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,140 sick by now. 107 00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:12,620 Just to be safe, I'll take you to the hospital. 108 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,200 Oh, thanks, man. I've got to admit, I'm kind of freaking out. 109 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:17,919 I'm scared. 110 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:18,920 Everything's going dark. 111 00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:21,340 It's called night, you moron. 112 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:26,960 Hello, worker. 113 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,039 Hi. 114 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:37,799 Beautiful day, isn't it? 115 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:40,299 Sure is. Love my Mondays. 116 00:08:42,179 --> 00:08:44,620 You know, the third floor masseuse tells me we're going to get white chocolate 117 00:08:44,620 --> 00:08:45,620 in the biscotti baskets. 118 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,120 in one or two changes around here. 119 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,640 It turns out the accountants have been stealing from Daddy. 120 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:43,800 All the profits were a pretend. 121 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,300 And last night we found out that we lost $650 million. 122 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:55,840 They took all my business holdings. Everything 123 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,660 except this store. 124 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,800 Still, not to worry. I have a plan. 125 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,180 I have a life insurance policy for $50 million. 126 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,800 So, all we have to do is fake my death. 127 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,480 Thirteen times. 128 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,420 Listen, Daddy's full of booze and pills. 129 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,220 But before he got hammered, he said that the only way we can keep the store is 130 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:25,580 to lay off half the employees. And then we have to put everyone in management 131 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,100 down on the sales floor. 132 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:28,700 What? 133 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:33,500 I'm not going back on the sales floor. That's where I started out. 134 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,140 Mimi, we can save the store, but we really need your help. 135 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,780 Forget it. I'm going to get myself a new job. 136 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,640 Yeah, me too. Save the store. Screw the store. 137 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,560 All the stuff the store has done to me, I have the skills, the personality, the 138 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:54,500 drive. I can get a job anywhere I want, anytime, just like that. 139 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,740 Yeah, kiss my ass goodbye, Winford Louder. 140 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,700 Hi, welcome to Winford Louder. 141 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,100 I'd like to return this thong underwear. 142 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,640 Whoa! 143 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,880 It didn't make me feel sexy. 144 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:17,140 Look, I'm not saying this just because I don't want to touch it, but I don't 145 00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:18,140 believe you. 146 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:19,760 I want my money back. 147 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,760 Well, I want to lean against the counter now, too, but that's not going to 148 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,760 happen. 149 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:26,720 So, how are sales going, Kerry? 150 00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:29,720 Not very good. That's because all you have is these designer brands. 151 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,740 Someone's going to pay 15 bucks for a pair of underwear? 152 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,280 Well, you'll have to make them. 153 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,120 I've got a huge loan to pay off. 154 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,500 Oh, the door's going to the dog. 155 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,740 Tails are down in houseware. They're down in bedding. And for some reason, we 156 00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:44,440 haven't sold a single pair of women's bloody shoes in three days. 157 00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,320 Excuse me. I'm busy here. 158 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,640 Joe. 159 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,260 I was on my feet for nine hours at work today. 160 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:03,829 That's... Tough. 161 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:06,910 You know, sometimes in the middle of my nurse's aid shift, I take a nap in one 162 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:07,970 of the empty hospital rooms. 163 00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,350 So what? 164 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:14,070 Well, yesterday I woke up and a pretty nurse was shaving me for surgery. 165 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,570 And? 166 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,570 It's been a long time since anybody touched me down there. 167 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:23,650 Thigh letter finished. 168 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,190 Don't get that. I'm seeing if that's Nikki. I'm screening my calls. 169 00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:35,410 Please leave a very short message at the tone. 170 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:41,090 Hey, Drew, it's Nikki. I don't know if you got them, but I sent you some 171 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,029 chocolate flowers. 172 00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:44,630 I just want to let you know I'm not mad anymore. 173 00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:48,570 But if you don't want to talk to me, I... It's me. It's Drew. How you doing, 174 00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:51,850 Nikki? Oh, Drew, I'm doing okay, you know. 175 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:57,130 It took me a while to work through what you did to me, but now I'm in a really 176 00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:58,130 good place. 177 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:05,790 Well, it's good to hear from you. You sound good. 178 00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,510 Yeah, I feel good. 179 00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:15,010 Hey, listen, you know, I'm coming to town on Saturday. I was thinking maybe 180 00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:16,010 and I could get together. 181 00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:20,710 Oh, I'd love to get together with you. You know, I missed you. 182 00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:22,190 I missed you, too. 183 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,370 Once by the mall. 184 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,080 Yeah, yeah. I'll see you then. Bye. 185 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,400 Bye. 186 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,280 Drew, do you think that's a good idea? 187 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,100 Do you really think that's a good idea, Drew? 188 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:52,160 Yeah, I think it'll be okay. I mean, there was something in her voice. 189 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:58,400 If I know women, and I think I do, it was forgiveness. 190 00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:07,010 What the hell has Mercer done now? 191 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:10,130 We're a 69 -cent store now. 192 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:17,650 Well, Kerry, what do you think? You said everything was too expensive, so I got 193 00:14:17,650 --> 00:14:20,650 rid of all the designer stuff and ordered boatloads of crap. 194 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:25,550 Oh, well, I'm thinking of changing the name of the store from Winfred Lauda to 195 00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:27,650 Lord Francis Bargain Castle. 196 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,580 If anybody buys more than $5 worth of stuff, I knight them and give them 50 197 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:36,100 cents off a can of white mist hairspray. 198 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,280 Need a hug? 199 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:40,500 Uh -huh. 200 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,260 So who am I, good prince underpants? 201 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,420 Now, you just work here. 202 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,360 May God forgive me. 203 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,340 Finally, a decent outfit to wear at work. 204 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,670 It's after nine o 'clock. 205 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,270 They must have opened the doors. 206 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,429 Oh, my God. 207 00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:08,090 The poor people are coming. 208 00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:10,930 Stand up. Don't worry, sweetheart. 209 00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:12,190 Daddy's in control. 210 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,010 Attention, peasants. 211 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,710 Lord Patsy lock us all to his castle. 212 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:19,610 Hey, 213 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,190 Drew, what exactly are you hoping to have happen with Nikki tonight? 214 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,870 I don't know. I'm just glad she's not mad at me anymore. 215 00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,910 And if there's a spark, then, hey, who knows? 216 00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:31,290 Oh, my God. You're going to marry her again. 217 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,840 Only if I can marry you, too. Because this time I think we can make it work. 218 00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:41,620 she's early. 219 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,120 Well, you know, be careful, little brother. I don't want to see you get 220 00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:49,700 Yeah, me either. So if she starts to teeter, run. 221 00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:58,220 Hey, you'll get this later, Drew, but ask her if she can cough up Pinocchio. 222 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:12,050 See ya. 223 00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:16,590 Well, it happened again. 224 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,970 What? What happened? 225 00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,470 I don't see any change. 226 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:29,930 Well, you're definitely fatter. 227 00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:37,310 You know what, you guys? I know what I look like. It's okay. 228 00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,190 Hey, by the way, do my shoes match? 229 00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:49,090 We'll give you to your space. 230 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:56,410 Hey, great to see you. I've been thinking about you a lot. 231 00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:57,670 Yeah, yeah, me too. 232 00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,670 So, listen, 233 00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,290 I want you to have a seat and I'll get us a couple beers. 234 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:06,650 Okay. We're only going to have one. I don't want you getting drunk again and 235 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,650 marrying me. 236 00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:13,390 Hey, it's great to see you so jolly. I mean, you know, happy. 237 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,140 worried it's going to be awkward, but I think it's going to be great. 238 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,040 I haven't made a supply of crackers and crackers. 239 00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:34,440 I'm sorry. I'll go back and get the cheese. 240 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,400 I have to wear a Chester's hat at work. 241 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,740 I'm sorry, Drew, but I have to do this. No, wait, you never heard my... 242 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,540 Let me help you. 243 00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:39,180 You're going to help her what? 244 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,080 Listen, Drew, if you want to call the police, I understand. 245 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,500 If not, I'd just like to leave right now. 246 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:54,920 No, I'm not going to call the police. 247 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:58,740 Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. My whole life has gone to hell. 248 00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,090 Oh, yeah, it's... This is all my fault. 249 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:05,990 No, no. You know what? Don't worry about it. I have to stop blaming other people 250 00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:09,030 for my problems. I'm just... I'm just gonna go. 251 00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:12,270 No, wait. Where are you gonna stay? 252 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,730 I don't know. I'll go sleep on a park bench or something. 253 00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:19,510 Sometimes the cops try to move me, but if I go limp, there's nothing they can 254 00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:20,510 do. 255 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:23,710 Wait. 256 00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:26,810 Listen, don't go. 257 00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:29,730 I feel so responsible. Why don't... 258 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,700 Until you get back on your feet, why don't you stay with me? 259 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,840 Really? 260 00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:36,780 Oh, 261 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,380 Drew, you're so sweet. 262 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:42,040 Oh, you're just saying that to avoid prison. 263 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,780 Now listen, you're going to go out to your car and get your stuff, and I'm 264 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:50,760 to make us a great dinner, okay? No, no, no. 265 00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:52,499 You know what? 266 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,560 I'm going to make you dinner. 267 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,840 You are helping me turn my life around. It's the least I can do. 268 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,600 Cheese? I'll kill him later. 269 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,160 Do we need any underwear? 270 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:35,760 Yeah, why don't you get a pound of boxers and three pounds of briefs. 271 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,180 Okay, you want any CDs? 272 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,900 Yeah. How about five pounds of rock? 273 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:47,040 Okay. Three pounds of country and half a pound of jazz. 274 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:48,900 Hey, 275 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:51,600 we haven't bought condoms in a long, long time. 276 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,760 Should we pick some up? No, we're still good. 277 00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:58,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 21967

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