All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s07e26 The Eagle Has Landed

So, uh, Kathy, it's great to meet you.
It says here you want to work in the

Young Miss Department.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a people person.

A young people person.

And I like department stores because
they have all those different

And I feel like I could teach the teens
how to be, like, a little Britney, but

not too Christina.

Uh, does it appear that you went to the
University of Arizona?

Yeah. It's really hot there. I had to
transfer.

And also, you used to work with, wow,
Janet Jackson?

Yeah. I was a Janet Jackson dancer.

Oh, what was she like?

Cold and distant.

That's a really nice suit, by the way.
Thank you very much. Did you get it

Well, I get all my clothes here. I get a
discount.

Wow. Yeah, the sleeves are kind of
short.

But you have really great ribs.

Thanks. Really, really handsome.

Thanks. I like monkey arms.

I love that in a guy, monkey arms.

That wasn't inappropriate.

I was just picturing the two of us
swinging on trees.

I love that face.

I know.

Wow, I can barely keep my clothes on.

That wasn't inappropriate, and I'm
sorry. That's okay. That's all right.

here for sales, and I'm calling on you.

Since you used to play the codophone.

Yeah.

A telephonic instrument.

That's what you're saying.

I thought it was an answering machine.
How do you play an answer? In a way it

is, and yet you can... Oh.

Mimi Bobeck. Great.

I haven't seen you since the Venus
flytrap.

I thought I'd find a stripper.

Yeah. Three months ago.

I was a good stripper. You were a
thieving, lying, stealing stripper. What

you talking about? I'm talking about you
stealing all my dance moves and about

stealing my boyfriend.

Dolem, he wanted me.

You should put him in the trunk of your
car.

He was dying to get in my trunk.

Well, it doesn't matter.

Because I'm married now to a really
great guy.

And this ring is next to the finger that
says how I really feel about you.

I don't care. I just met someone really
wonderful, too.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

that I shouldn't have had an outburst
during a job interview. It's just she

brings something out of me.

I'm really sorry.

You know, I've got to be honest.

You have a lot of life experience.

Just not a lot of retail life
experience.

No, I understand.

Do I have a shot at dinner with you?

I think you're very attractive. I would
love to go out with you. Oh, that would

be great!

I got your number and everything right
here. I'll just give you a call. Okay,

yeah. The numbers might be a little
inverted. I can't spell numbers that

But just a call.

Okay, sure. Okay, well, great.

It was nice. Yeah, I'll see you later.
Nice meeting you. Yeah, you too.

Well, we can do this later, right?

Okay. Sorry.

All this energy calling me.

Back where it comes from.

It's such a crude attitude.

It's back where it belongs.

All the little chicks with the crimson
lips go Cleveland Rock, Cleveland Rock.

Living in sin with a safety pin going
Cleveland Rock, Cleveland Rock,

Cleveland Rock.

Ohio, Ohio, Ohio, Ohio, Ohio.

Pretty bad.

Addy likes.

You have a cold, don't you? Little one.

Hey, guys.

Bad.

Lewis, I have in this bag something
that's going to change our lives.

Not lipstick and blush again, is it?

No, it's financial security.

We're going to bake my grandmother's
gingerbread cookies in our house in the

park and sell them.

You know anything about baking cookies?
Where do you get the money to do that?

Actually, I used our car fund to buy a
big oven.

You used our car fund money? Yeah.

You guys are saving for a car?

Oh, no, no. It's not for a new car. It's
where we keep our money. It's the only

thing we own that has locks.

You guys can't start another business.
Are you out of your mind? You don't know

anything about cookies or baking?

How about your mail -order taxidermy?

It didn't work out so well, did it?

No. How'd you like opening those
packages?

And how about the marital aid rental?

You can't rent that stuff. It's not like
bowling shoes.

Well, all rise for judgmental. Yeah.

You know what?

You're so negative.

At least we're trying.

At least we're not content to sit in the
same desk in the same little cubicle

every day with our sad little boring
lives.

I'm talking about Drew. Oh.

So you're on board?

Yeah, you bet I'm on board. All right.

What the hell was that? I don't know.

Oh, my God.

Oh, it's a squirrel head.

What's a squirrel head doing out here?

I don't know. Maybe it's the beginning
of a squirrel revolution.

Whoa. Oh, my God.

There's a bald eagle on your roof.

Wow. Yeah.

Hey, you know, that's good luck. Not for
squirrels.

Oh, wow.

Hey, wait a minute. This is like an
omen. For what?

Well, don't you see? This is saying that
our cookie business is going to take

off and soar like an eagle. Oh, that's
great.

Hey, let's go look at that oven. Oh,
you'd love it. It's so big it could fit

bald eagle. Oh, yeah. That would be an
American Thanksgiving.

I don't see why the salmon can't be the
symbol for America.

It even rocks. Uncle Salmon.

Uncle Salmon wants you.

Hey, man, look at that.

Wow. Somebody broke into my house.

Big deal. I got nothing worth stealing.
My beanie babies!

Gracias. Give me the piece.

And nice to see you.

Where's the bird? It's right there.

Took you long enough.

What a wonderful creature.

You're so lucky, you're so lucky, you
know, he chews your place.

Yeah, he chews the whole place.

No, your house, you know, your house has
got wonderful nesting material here.

Good.

How are you going to get this thing out
of here? No, no, no, no. You cannot move

the eagle. It's illegal to move the
eagle. It's a felony.

What? The bird is protected.

What? Oh, yes. Look at my house. What
about my house? Well, you're very

privileged. You have good... Privileged?
Look at my house. I can't take it.

What if this happened?

What?

What if the bird was flying around and
accidentally, after preheating it to

flew into the oven?

The bird is protected.

Andrew. We got your message and we
rushed right... Oh, my.

There it is.

Hey, pig. What happened to your house?
Lose a piece of fudge?

Look at it. It's so beautiful.

Wow. I haven't been this close to an
eagle since I slept with Joe Walsh.

Who's the big eagle? Who's the big
eagle? Look. Oh, my God. He's turning

Turn around. Honey, shake your tail.

Oh, you do it too. I'll get your
picture. Go ahead.

Will you stop it?

Isn't there any way to get this eagle
out of my house?

Well, there is only one way. That is if
a huge and terrifying predator would

come and scare it away.

You're on, baby.

He's got a gingerbread winky.

It's so little.

Oh, hello.

Hi. Me and my sister got lost in the
park.

We thought we saw gingerbread.

Sounds so familiar.

Oh, Connor.

Hey, uh, help yourself to a cookie.

These are really good.

Can I have another?

Well, you've already had two. Don't eat
up all our profits.

I happen to know that this house is
illegal because it's in the middle of a

park.

And I want the one in the fridge, too.

This kid's pretty smart. You think he's
trying to blackmail us?

I don't know.

Hey, little man, do you know what
blackmail is?

You take advantage of somebody weaker
for financial gain.

Keep baking. We'll be back.

Still want to have kids?

Look where she may do next.

For the next two years, that will be her
home.

The English scream because she's lonely.

Many animals are lonely.

Do you believe in the love at first
sight?

I do.

I've only ever said that to my cat in a
little tuxedo.

What are you doing in my backyard?

We're watching the eagle.

Have you been out here with a video
camera all day?

Well, you know, more or less.

Oh, man, I've got to start wearing a
robe.

I would recommend it.

I've got a date coming over in a few
minutes, and I don't want you out here

my backyard filming.

Drew, please. The eagle is so beautiful.
This is a once -in -a -lifetime

opportunity. An eagle has never before
been born in Cleveland.

I'll be filming inside my house. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

We don't interested in the mating habit
of the human being. You know, just

the... Is she pretty?

Wow.

Look at you all spangly.

Thank you.

Who are they?

Oh, you don't know Grosney Huffman from
Fish and Games?

Oh, wow.

Yeah, they're here for the eagle.

Well, of course. They should protect the
eagle.

What?

Are you kidding me? I mean, I know
it's... I don't got nothing against

but look what it's doing to my house.

Oh, it did something to your gorgeous
house?

What are you all dressed up for?

Oh, I'm going to a party at the mayor's
house.

Wow. You know that naughty guy that's
running for Senate? Yeah.

Does this dress say political scandal to
you?

Let me just look at you. I've never seen
you look better in your... Hold on.

Wait. There's... There.

Now you're perfect.

You

know

what,

Drew? Just forget it. I'm going to my
party and I don't care.

You know what? You think you're so
great.

This is it.

Sorry about the smell.

Wow.

You weren't exaggerating. I mean, you
know, sometimes a guy will say an eagle

tore up my house just to get you to your
home, but it's really happened, huh?

Yep.

You just crap wherever you want, okay?
The eagle did.

Thank you so much for letting me bring
Mushu on our date. He's a really good

judge of character. And he really liked
his prime rib.

Oh, it was my pleasure ordering the most
expensive thing on the menu for a dog.

Thank you.

Want a couple more beers? Sure, why not,
right? Two more won't kill us.

Cheaper by the dozen.

Yeah, I released myself in the garage. I
hope you like them.

You do?

A brewery and eagle crap? I hit the
jackpot.

get rid of this guy not that i don't
mind uh you know sure three's fine every

once in a while

Can I have a beer now?

No. Not until we finish Danny's
homework.

You know, that's it. It's bad enough
he's eating all our cookies, but do we

to do his homework, too?

Fine. You want to get turned in?

Huh? What do you think, we can just pick
up the house and move it?

No, we can't pick up the house and move
it.

Okay, last question.

Good. How long would it take a train to
get to Chicago?

How many people are on board?

Fifty.

How fast is it going? 200 miles an hour.

The city or the band?

I don't know.

Hello? Hey, Oswald, it's me. Listen, you
gotta help me out. Okay.

I have a date over here and she has one
of those pugs, those little ugly bug

-eyed dogs like the one in Men in Black.

Anyway, an eagle came by, and an eagle
swooped up the dog, and I don't have the

dog anymore, so I want you to go to the
pound and pick me up a dog that looks

exactly like it. Can you do that for me?

Uh -huh.

Hey, say your girlfriend's dog is
running 200 miles an hour with

50 people aboard.

It was really good. Uh -huh. Yeah, this
is me. Oh, these are my parents.

They seem really nice.

Yeah, they were.

I just want to see the picture of

the time I met them.

I met the Blue Man Group.

Let's see. Look. Hi.

really nice. They don't really talk a
lot, but they're really nice to me.

That's great.

And this is my friend Skip.

He seems nice.

You know, I just don't want to go. I
mean, we got all night.

There's no rush. You know what? Fine.

I have all night to leave.

My dog is out there and I might as well
just...

Was this what?

It is him.

We found him at the pound. They said an
eagle dropped him in the bushes.

Are you kidding me?

Sorry about his nose. We tried to pull
it out.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Kathy, you got to see this. Come
on. It's like a million and one miracle,

man. I can't believe this.

Kathy, look.

Yeah?

Drew was cute.

Would you shut up?

Hey, good news.

What? I got a drug code.

Eagle pheromones.

Pheromones? Yeah, it's a chemical that
makes you attracted to the opposite sex.

Hey! For eagles. Oh.

Throw it off of Drew's property, right?
The eagle follows it. No more problem,

huh? Yeah, that's a great idea. You
gotta throw it because you got a better

Okay, let's go.

Don't stop the eagle pheromones. What
kind of pheromones do you think they

Squirrels.

You know what I would do if I

was you?

I would run home to your house. Why?

Because eagles eat squirrels.

eagles, squirrels.

Hey, old loser.

You got me an F on my homework.

Get your house goodbye.

I called the cops.

We're not afraid of you anymore. We got
an eagle on our roof.

That's right, you little jerk.

This house is now a protected eagle
habitat.

So get someone else to do your homework
for you.

I wonder if the eagle can do the trick I
taught my dog.

you try to make money you never made
money what about the mail or parrot

business cheerleader sitters how about
when you try to be clam divers there's

clams in lake erie internet exorcism you
know you're very attractive for a comic