Original subtitles

Hey. Hi, Gus.

Welcome back to Bouncy Time. Oh, how's my big guy?

This place is great.

Do you ever think about getting naked and jumping in the ball pit?

You know, after all the kids are gone.

Hi, I'm Drew. I'm Gus's uncle.

Drew, this is Bouncy Time Tina.

Oh, Bouncy Time Tina. You know, I used to be a big fan of an actress named

Bouncy Time Tina. Drew, run a baby gym class.

Sorry, that was inappropriate.

I'll rewind it.

Tina, we're going to have to leave early because I'm taking King Gus to the baby

dentist and then he's off to a birthday party.

Oh, and I'm going to miss next week.

The doctor says that I'm a very good candidate for a new drug that grows

Why don't you just take the hair off of Mimi's back and plant it on your head?

Hey, Steve.

So, did you try that chicken lasagna recipe I gave you? No, I haven't lost

weight yet since we were pregnant.

Hey, I was wondering, do you think you could watch Jeremy next Monday morning?

I've been invited to play golf.

No can do. I've got to take Gus to the pediatrician and then he's got a hot

date. Dammit, I can't do anything.

You are suffocating me.

Oh, God, I'm sorry. You know that Daddy never means it.

Wow, is that what it's like?

I'd go crazy if I didn't get in the office and talk to adults every once in

while. May not be as big a deal as running a department store, but it has

rewards.

Huh.

I wonder why Bob took that bunny away from King Gus.

I just lost my head, but he deserved it. What the hell is going on here, man?

We're carries.

We don't attack people.

You go home and eat in anger.

I'm sorry, Steve, but we cannot have that kind of behavior at bouncy time.

Look, Tina, I'm really sorry it just happened, and I promise you it will

happen again.

Oh,

the sanity.

comes from.

It's got your crude...

Howdy, ma 'am. I'm looking for Drew Carey.

Oh, you must be here for the pig.

Drew!

I knew his time would come. It's so sad. I never should have named him.

Hi. Drew.

Enos Evans. I'm here for the job interview.

Oh, okay. I'm sorry about her. She just can't pull a plow anymore. We don't know

what to do with her.

I sure could use the job.

I'm a good worker.

I spent my life mending fences, milking cows, plowing fields.

I'll put in a hard day's work for an honest day's wage.

Well, you seem like a good man and a good farmer and everything, but the

is you're applying for a job in our cosmetics department.

Well, yeah, but you see, I'm a widower, and a man alone on a farm, well,

he grows him some strange crops.

The point is, I took to putting makeup on some of the animals.

Really?

Now, before you go a -judging, I want you to see some of my work.

Wow.

Well, that hardly looks like a cow at all.

All right, well, hey, we're not making any decisions today, but you're

definitely being considered. All right, it's all I can ask. Thank you, sir.

Sure.

Hi -ho, the Dario.

Farmer goes to hell.

Hey, hey, Drew. Hey, Drew, you ready to go to lunch?

Yeah, as soon as Lewis gets here, we'll head out. Well, I can't wait till lunch.

Tell us about Steve's big fight.

It was crazy. He just went berserk on this guy.

Well, I can kind of understand a house husband going a little crazy.

I mean, being stuck all day with a...

babbling little creature with a half -born brain.

Hey, I'm sitting right here.

Hey, I don't care if Steve gets into fights.

He came home last night so revved up he yanked me out of the shower and took me

on the spot.

I thought Pitbull having sex with an old tire when I was nine.

The way I thought of that just now...

Steve has a big problem. He has a lot of pent -up rage, and I think I know

what's causing it. Oh, yeah? What?

Well, he's been cooped up with a baby in the house for two years while you go to

work.

The job is open in the cosmetics department. He has experience there. I'm

to give him that job.

Hey, we don't need your help. Just butt out of our lives.

It's not up to you.

This is Steve's decision.

Yeah? Well, then I get to meddle in your life.

Now, on your wedding night, I'm going to take your bride by her inflated hand,

whisper roses...

into her little plastic ears about you, and I know exactly what her reaction's

gonna be.

Look.

Hey, look at that, will ya?

Still one left on the store shelf. I wonder why.

I have someone in mind.

Oh, yeah? Who?

Well, I can't tell you her name yet, but I can tell you that she's beautiful,

she's desperate, and she's not hung up on what society thinks male genitalia

should look like.

I'm not going to hire someone just so you can get a date.

I'm the co -manager now, all right? If I want my brother to have a job in

cosmetics, he's getting the job.

Well, well, well.

You backed me into a corner.

Well, let me tell you something. I am not about to back down now unless you

offer me a concession. My pride is worth something.

I think I

found the perfect way for me to make some extra cash.

Oh, yeah? What is it? Well, Drugco's testing this new product that's supposed

make cold -hearted killers get in touch with their emotions.

And I'm going to help the doctor give injections to prisoners condemned to

sentences. Wow.

Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun.

Hey, you know, I have some nursing experience. You think you can give me a

down there? This is your lucky day. The guy that was helping me got his eye

poked out with a sharpened toothbrush.

I can't believe this just fell into my lap. Yeah, just like that guy's eye.

Oh.

That's ten minutes, Doc.

Like ripping your head off and bowling with it.

That was so inappropriate.

I can't imagine how you feel.

Yes, I can.

You're hurt, you're betrayed, and you have every right to feel that way.

I think the drug's kicking in, Doc.

No kidding, idiot.

What?

He's a human being and you should apologize to him.

Damn it. I've got to take this.

I'll be back.

Something's going on with him.

Can you believe this? We took the most notorious killer in Ohio and turned him

into a pussycat.

I bet I can do anything to him that I want.

Hey, Lewis, don't.

Not so tough now, are you? You like that? Hey, you like that, huh?

Just fooling around.

You know, you can be really cruel.

I hate to say this, but I think you need this drug just as much as he does.

I'm sure that was very hard to say.

I'd hang on to him.

He's a treasure.

It comes with a finisher and a standard spray bottle.

Or you could do what my wife Mimi did and get a gas -powered applicator down

Home Depot.

Great.

Thank you for getting me out of the house. It's really great to be finally

around adult.

I knew this was just what you needed. No person needs to go out, roll up their

sleeves, earn an honest buck, you know?

Even look younger.

Well, I gave myself a peel during the break.

I want to head back up. Okay.

Hey, you know that, uh, texture's a little low. You might want to refill

Okay.

Hey, you know what? Do you think that, uh, display table might look better over

in the corner?

Whatever you say, boss.

Oh, you don't have to call me boss. Just sir will do.

Excuse me.

I need to return this perfume.

No problem.

Steve, uh, somebody spilled some in the corner. You might want to get a mop and,

uh... Do you have a receipt?

Uh, no, sir, I don't.

Get by to see how your brother was doing.

Well, he doesn't have the reach of the other guy, but he's learning some nice

combinations.

Hey, look, Drew, your brother made the police blotter in the paper.

Area bald man goes berserk.

I offer him a great job, and he blows it like this.

Oh, poor Drew.

Poor, poor Drew.

What the hell happened to you?

Well, Oswald was right. I was a heartless bastard.

That's why I took that empathy drug.

And for the first time, I feel the pain that others are going through.

You are a good man, and I love you.

Are you supposed to be mixing that with alcohol?

Poor, lonely Kate.

Trying to find fleeting comfort in the beds of strangers.

You know what? It's been months since I've been with a guy. I'm in a dry

Poor, dry Kate.

So Steve was frustrated at home, huh?

A new job is going to fix everything, huh?

I'll be right back. I didn't know he was going to do something like that.

Hey, hey, hey, you guys.

Let's hang out the love light.

I know what you do with that hand.

You don't get it off me, you'll never do it again.

All I'm saying is you're never going to get to the core issues until you find

the source of Steve's pain.

Wow, that actually makes sense.

How'd you get so smart all of a sudden?

Drugs.

Legal, taxable, pharmaceutical drugs.

Now, we've got to try to help Steve.

These two fights, what did they have in common?

Well, let me see. They were both with men, they were during the day, and they

were in public.

You know, I have one further question.

Why is it when people think they do this?

I mean, your brain's up here. Why don't you just do this?

Because you look like an idiot when you do this.

Hey, I just thought of something.

Drew was there for both fights.

Maybe it has something to do with him.

She's right. The pig was there both times.

What did you say to him at bouncy time?

Well... Nothing. I was just talking about my co -manager job. That's all.

Well, I see. And what about the store? What were you talking about there?

Oh, nothing at all. I mean, I pointed out a couple things he needed to be

Giving him some orders?

Well, I'm his boss.

Well, that's it.

Both times you were rubbing your new job in Steve's face.

The little brother crowing about how well he's doing. The winner's Steve's

and fight.

What? Really? You think he's jealous of me?

Yeah. You think he's really jealous of me? He's jealous of me?

Will you focus?

Okay, I'm sorry, okay.

Steve is jealous.

Of me.

Yeah, and it's ripping him up inside, and it's your fault, so you better do

Might not want to look at this, buddy. Oh, too late.

Little guy's got no head, but his feet are still moving.

Boy, you know, you might want to start doubling up on that empathy drug.

Nah, Kate was right. It interacts badly with alcohol.

The doctor said I could either have real emotions or beer.

Not exactly Sophie's choice.

Hey, Hawk, there's another baby underneath the mama bunny.

Drew, you wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, hey, Lewis, do you mind? It's kind of a family thing.

Oh, sure.

I got to go to work anyway.

Hey, how's that prison gig working for you? Ah, I love it.

You know, after I do the drug test, the guard said I can give the last meal to a

hot female murderer.

Where it is when you have 20 minutes left to live, you'll do it with anybody.

And the good news is, after you're done with her, she'll be begging for death.

Yeah.

Damn, Governor better not call in the middle of it.

Hey, have a seat. I've been thinking about your problem.

Goody.

Yeah, I'm giving a lot of thought, and I think I know why you're so angry.

You know, because you're so smart, right?

Mr. Brilliant Little Brother Who Knows Everything?

Oh, come on, tell me, tell me why am I so upset, huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? Mr. Boss Man, huh? Why don't you tell me, what am I so irritated about?

Mama's little baby?

Well, it's not going to turn your head around like I thought, but I think

mad at me.

Come on, I'm just giving you crap because you're my little brother. You

love you.

I know you do, but ever since I got the promotion, you've been kind of jealous

of me, and then I've been taking it over, you know, my whole life. You kind

resented me.

That's a bunch of crap.

Oh, is it?

Well, let's go to the tape.

What's this?

I went through some of our old home movies and put together a highlight reel

the special love you had for me as a child.

Yeah, harmless horseplay between brothers.

Let's look at the party games.

All right, okay, maybe I

was a little hard on you, but I was going through a bad phase.

And here's the part I like to call Merry Christmas Drew.

All right. All right.

I've seen enough.

You think I proved my point?

I also proved that Dad was a sick bastard who liked to take pictures of

hurting each other.

You know, fine. I resented you, Neil. I'm a terrible brother.

Well, you know, who can blame me? You had mom and dad all to yourself until I

came along.

Yeah, and you know what? It was great.

I was king of the house. No cares in the world.

Full head of hair. Girls loved it. You know, they said I had hair like James

Taylor.

You know what?

I still have hair like James Taylor.

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I was born.

Sorry I got a job. Sorry I had hair.

You know, sorry isn't good enough. Hey.

Oh, my God.

What am I doing?

It's okay.

No, no, it's not okay.

I've got a problem.

Hey, listen.

What we're going to do is we're going to sit down and we're going to find a way

to deal with your anger in a healthy, constructive way.

Hey, long hair.

No smoking in the cell. Put it out. Put it out.

There you go.

Man, I'm going to sleep great tonight.

You better wrap this up, baby. The priest will be here in a minute.

By the way, I'm sorry.

I was a little off my game tonight.

But in my defense, you seemed a little preoccupied, too.