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All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s06e27 Bananas 2

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:03,620 Previously on the Drew Carey Show. They approved your proposal for the new 2 00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:04,518 woman's store. 3 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,580 It's a woman's store. If anybody should manage it, it should be me. 4 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,340 You don't know anything about managing a store. 5 00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:10,920 Even less about being a woman. 6 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:13,740 How was work today? 7 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,660 Funniest thing happened, though. You wouldn't believe it. 8 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,280 Man, I can skate in life. I went insane. 9 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:24,480 You're up for some part -time jobs at Fred's Fireworks. Fred's Fireworks? 10 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,520 that place blow up last month? 11 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:27,440 Yeah, and a lot of new jobs opened up. 12 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,560 Firecrackers are the birds. What birds? 13 00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,760 Oh, I think they were birds. I couldn't see their faces, but I heard their 14 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,340 voices. I think they were up in the trees. They were making fun of me. 15 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,660 I can't believe you guys shooting Roman candles off at each other your first day 16 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:42,660 of work. 17 00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:47,440 Look at me. I'm in a psych ward. 18 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:50,600 You're getting hauled off to the Ha Ha House as an unexpected treat. 19 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:05,170 shown up for work. He didn't go to the Warsaw last night for the beer bust. 20 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:06,510 I mean, where could he be? 21 00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,030 Wait a minute. 22 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:09,770 Warsaw? 23 00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:11,690 Beer? 24 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:13,048 I know. 25 00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:14,050 I want a beer. 26 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:22,490 I know you're experimenting with 27 00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:23,490 different eyebrows. 28 00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:32,750 Why is the salmon browser starting to smell? 29 00:01:40,290 --> 00:01:42,270 Maybe aliens took Drew. 30 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:45,610 They do have quotas on abductions, just like motorcycle cops. 31 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:50,490 Yeah, if they don't probe the requisite amount of anuses, it's back to teaching 32 00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:51,490 high school drama. 33 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,950 You know what? I'm worried about Drew. 34 00:01:55,210 --> 00:01:58,410 It's not like him to disappear two days before the new store is going to open. I 35 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,408 mean, he's Mr. 36 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,870 Responsible. President of the Responsibility Club. 37 00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:07,450 Speedy, what's the matter? 38 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,289 I think he's trying to tell us something. 39 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:16,870 Where's Drew, boy? 40 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:18,630 Stick to yes or no questions. 41 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:21,610 This is very important. 42 00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:26,170 Is Drew in a situation where we need to call a specific authority, i .e. the 43 00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:29,010 FBI, or an international authority like Interpol? 44 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,520 Know anything or he's too scared to talk. 45 00:02:38,180 --> 00:02:39,180 Look at this. 46 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,240 Who blew up all the fireworks we were saving? 47 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:46,020 Who's a dummy? Who's a dummy? 48 00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:47,380 What the hell? 49 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,500 Give me your gun. 50 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,560 Fireworks and a parrot that wants a handgun. 51 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,140 What the hell went on here? 52 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,040 Something diabolical. 53 00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:01,240 Diabolical yet festive. 54 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,320 All right, Lewis. 55 00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:06,250 and Oswald go down to the police station and see if they know anything. I'll 56 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,250 check the hospitals. We'll meet back here in two hours. 57 00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:09,990 Hey, wait a minute. 58 00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:11,690 Why are you giving orders? 59 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,210 Fine. What do you want to do, boss? 60 00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:18,710 All right. First, we need someone to check out the police stations. 61 00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:20,270 I'll go on my own. 62 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,530 Kate, I've got something for you. 63 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,550 You check out all the hospitals, all right? 64 00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:28,470 I'll be back here in 120 minutes. 65 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,159 will be done. 66 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,900 I mean, he's going to pay for what you did to me. 67 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,320 I don't know if it's right for me to do this. 68 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,660 I can't do it. I'm in a straitjacket. They think I'm violent. 69 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,260 But every time I break the rules, they make me wear the electric hat. 70 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,580 I break the rules too, Earl. 71 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:39,860 I'm giving you my pudding. 72 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,520 I'm going to save the pudding for after they put on the electric hat. 73 00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,900 If I eat it before, I won't remember. 74 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:48,180 Hey! 75 00:04:50,350 --> 00:04:52,590 Let me see what you got to do. Hold on. Just a couple more numbers. Just press 76 00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:53,590 nine now. 77 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:57,110 Nine. No, no, that's six. I've been doing it all day. It's very confusing. 78 00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:59,630 It's very confusing. Just the nine. There you go. Nine. 79 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,030 Nine. Oh, thank you. 80 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,170 Zero. 81 00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:04,330 Zero. 82 00:05:05,190 --> 00:05:06,650 Yes! You did it! You did it! 83 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:07,890 Now, 84 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:12,050 remember when the English man answers the phone, you put the phone in my... 85 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,100 He knows the board are coming over to check out the new store. 86 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:47,579 Doggone it. 87 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:51,880 I said to Drew, now that you're a hot shot manager, you don't need drugs to 88 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,160 you feel like a big man. 89 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:55,960 I said, listen. 90 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,480 Well, he better get here soon. The board want to know all the details about the 91 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,120 big opening, and I don't know any. Nobody tells me anything. 92 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,960 The caterers are here at 7. 93 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:11,160 9 a .m. the doors open to the media, and 10 a .m. kicks off the big fashion 94 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,160 show. 95 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,100 Well, I may ask you to fill in as store manager. 96 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:23,020 Moi? This is so out of the blue, Mr. Wick. So unorchestrated by me. I'll 97 00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:24,340 consider that a verbal contract. 98 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,300 Get that for me, would you, Mimi? If it's anyone but a man who likes pudding, 99 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,400 tell him I'm busy. 100 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,340 Nigel Wick, fun foreigner. 101 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,180 Hello, hello, hello. 102 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,160 It's me, old Mike Wick there. 103 00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:49,290 and he'll be back. He's got the craziest hours. 104 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:54,370 Besides, it's nuts around here. You know, nuts like when a guy hears birds 105 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,170 tries to blow them up with firecrackers. 106 00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:57,810 He's probably gone. 107 00:06:58,390 --> 00:06:59,390 Who is it, Mimi? 108 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:02,070 Oh, hippies from PBS trying to get a handout. 109 00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:06,430 This is my only phone call. Mimi, please. 110 00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:10,810 For the love of God, if you have an ounce of humanity in you, you'll... 111 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,140 I find our buddy here, Drew Carey. 112 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,060 You may know him as... Yes. 113 00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:31,920 Yes, we have him here. 114 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:33,880 Are you family? 115 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,700 Hell no. 116 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,040 Are you crazy? 117 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,540 The guy got himself locked up in a nut house. 118 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,360 He's probably walking a piece of furniture now. 119 00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:44,660 So can we see him? 120 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,960 The only people who get through that door are family members or patients. 121 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,360 How can we become patients? 122 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:59,120 You can voluntarily admit yourself, but not just anybody can be a patient. You 123 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,640 have to see a doctor first. 124 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,560 We have really good insurance. 125 00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:07,220 Welcome to the Mary Todd Lincoln Mental Institute. 126 00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:23,860 I'm not Larry King, all right? 127 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,180 Larry King's on TV. 128 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,540 How can you be on TV and here at the same time? 129 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,360 I taped that show earlier today. 130 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:35,799 All right, if you're Larry King, then what's Angie Dickinson really like? 131 00:08:36,419 --> 00:08:37,820 A dynamite lady. 132 00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:41,220 Ten pounds of glass and a five -pound sack. 133 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:43,700 Hey, buddy. 134 00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:47,800 Thank God you guys are here. You can get me out of this place. Is it just me, or 135 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,080 does Ann Miller have a great set of gams? 136 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,160 It's about time. 137 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,100 What did you get in here? Mimi set me up so she could take over the store. 138 00:08:58,340 --> 00:09:01,160 Alice, you have to get me a lawyer tonight. Get me out of here by tomorrow. 139 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,640 Oh, we can't do that. We checked ourselves in. We're patients now. 140 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:06,580 Look at us, huh? 141 00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,260 The three musketeers. 142 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,700 We're patients. What the hell were you thinking? 143 00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:13,380 Well, we wanted to see you and make sure you're all right. 144 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,700 And they wouldn't let us visit because we're not family. So it was either this 145 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,040 or wait until tomorrow for non -family visiting day. 146 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:26,200 If your patient's here and you're locked in here with me, then how are you going 147 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,200 to get me out? 148 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,120 Whoops. 149 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:15,730 Quentin and I win. 150 00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:17,970 Hey, that's not fair. 151 00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:21,710 Where were the psych ward rules when we were playing Scrabble and my partner ate 152 00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:22,710 all the vowels? 153 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,730 Oh, Drew, you smell awful. 154 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:31,970 Try to sneak out in the garbage truck, which would have been a lot easier if 155 00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:34,210 of you would learn to eat your macaroni and cheese. 156 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:38,070 Cheer up, buddy. Look, I drew a picture of you. 157 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:40,010 Do you like it? 158 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,050 Yeah, that's pretty much me now. 159 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:54,390 I found through the window. 160 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,910 Drew! Drew! 161 00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:03,290 Drew! Drew! 162 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,770 Drew! Drew! 163 00:11:05,050 --> 00:11:06,170 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 164 00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:06,730 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 165 00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,730 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 166 00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:08,850 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 167 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:10,069 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 168 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:10,309 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 169 00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:10,310 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 170 00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:10,310 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 171 00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:10,310 Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! Drew! 172 00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:11,310 Drew! 173 00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:13,410 Drew! Drew! 174 00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:15,150 Drew! 175 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,250 Drew! 176 00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:18,170 Drew! 177 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:19,810 Drew! 178 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,340 So if you're going to give anybody an angry bath, it should be me. 179 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,300 So come on, soak me up, you big German man -woman. 180 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,440 I like the size of your shoes. 181 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:46,160 All right, but it better be a hard scrubbing. I'm not fully sane until I'm 182 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,160 zestfully sane. 183 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,920 I'm not like you and Lewis. I wasn't meant to live like this. 184 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,820 I want to help you, buddy. What can I do? 185 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,460 Smuggle me on that. 186 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,720 The bald guy? 187 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:09,680 That's a great idea. 188 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:14,100 We'll kill him, scoop him out, and then put you inside him. And then you walk 189 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,580 out of here wearing him like a suit. 190 00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:20,780 No, no, no. I meant the laundry cart. Oh, thank God. I didn't want to kill 191 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,700 guy. He showed me a picture of his kids. 192 00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:28,110 If we get caught, there's no telling what they'll do to us. 193 00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,770 Don't worry, buddy. You'd do the same for me. 194 00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,350 Yeah. Thanks, Oswald. 195 00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:37,930 You know, I kiss you, but it doesn't take much to get these guys going. 196 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,650 Oswald, Lewis, are you here? 197 00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:51,690 Damn it, you're supposed to meet me two hours ago. 198 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,550 Stop by Doris' Video World and pick up Flesh Peddler 3. 199 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,030 They'll only hold it for a couple of days. 200 00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:04,950 You know, 201 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:10,430 Drew just wanted to be snuck out on a laundry cart. He didn't say anything 202 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:11,069 a bomb. 203 00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:14,470 Hey, we need a hole big enough to push a laundry cart through, all right? 204 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,340 to break out of a mental institution once in his life. Don't you want to make 205 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:21,340 special? 206 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:48,640 ingredients from the gardener's shed. 207 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,260 Don't they keep that stuff locked up? 208 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,100 Well, yeah, duh. It's a mental institution. 209 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,080 Lock up the cotton balls. 210 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,940 That's why we lifted the janitor's keys. 211 00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:01,740 This is the master key. It opens every door in the place. 212 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:04,760 Why don't we just... 213 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,180 I'm a good squeezer. 214 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,120 That's all I know how to do. 215 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,550 Constitution, I'm going to miss your angry baths. 216 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:34,970 Wait! 217 00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:36,170 Wait, come back! 218 00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,590 I'm in a town! I'm in a bad neighborhood! 219 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:42,510 Wait! 220 00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:50,610 It's not my fault. It's your fault. 221 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:53,990 What are you kidding? You're the one that said Drew was in the back of the 222 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:57,690 Very good, Miss Murple. You caught an idiot in a lie. Bravo! 223 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,300 We have to do something. Let's just tell Woody the truth. 224 00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:06,720 No, we can't do that. Then he'll think Drew's crazy and he'll lose his new job. 225 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,099 Maybe his old job, too. 226 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:12,500 So for now, let's just relax, enjoy some champagne, and see what Milan has to 227 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,500 offer this year. 228 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:12,050 She's in my beer company. 229 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:13,670 She's everywhere. 230 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,440 Which one is the real me? 231 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,320 So I'll just kill all of you. 232 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:09,140 I'm afraid Mr. Carey is suffering from prolonged duress stress disorder. 233 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,840 Oh, that's horrible. 234 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:12,540 What's it mean? 235 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:18,420 His hatred for this meanie person has caused him to lose contact with reality. 236 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,940 Oh, my God. 237 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,920 How long does he have? 238 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,300 from something like this. 239 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:27,900 Oh. 240 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,080 Then why all the drama? 241 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,200 He's gonna come out of it, though, right? 242 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,400 We'll do everything we can to help, but there's really no way of knowing. 243 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,560 Hey, Todd, it looks like he's trying to say something. 244 00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:54,710 Yes, it is true. 245 00:19:55,650 --> 00:19:57,570 I don't know it's real anymore. 246 00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:00,270 You're real, Drew. 247 00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:06,550 Look in here and say, I believe in me. 18310