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1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:02,460
Doctor, what's happening?
2
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:04,940
His breathing's very labored.
3
00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:06,720
But it's always that way.
4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,630
Since we've taken him off life support,
he's fallen deeper into the coma.
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,470
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we're losing
him.
6
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:22,480
Drew, I... I can't let you go without
getting this off my chest.
7
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,160
I cheated you out of $200.
8
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:26,910
What?
9
00:00:26,911 --> 00:00:30,479
Remember that time that you gained
weight on the Dr. Von Diedelman
10
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,530
diet?
11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,380
I'm Dr. Von Diedelman.
12
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:47,340
Drew, as long as we're confessing, I've
got something to tell you, too.
13
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:50,820
You know that kinky thing I said I only
did with you?
14
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,780
I do it with everyone.
15
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:58,400
It's what I'm known for.
16
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:07,140
You can't hold this inside any longer.
17
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:08,710
Drew?
18
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,380
I slept with Oswald's mom.
19
00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:14,119
What does that have to do with Drew?
20
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,410
Nothing, but he loves to hear stuff like
this.
21
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,540
Oswald's mom was amazing.
22
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,580
She even did the Kate thing.
23
00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:34,960
I better check on poor Drew. He could be
dying even as we speak.
24
00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:36,670
You're not going anywhere, Steve.
25
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:38,670
My contractions are getting closer.
26
00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:42,709
Now, where's that damn video guy? I want
him here filming when I poop out the
27
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:43,760
baby.
28
00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:47,430
Maybe don't turn the audio off.
29
00:01:49,490 --> 00:01:54,029
I might have to get your bag out of your
car. No, I'll just be going to dig my
30
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,110
eyes out with a spoon.
31
00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:57,980
Quick, quick.
32
00:01:57,981 --> 00:02:01,719
Our video guy didn't show up, and I
can't do it because I'm the labor coach.
33
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,059
You've got to do this for me, please.
34
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,110
Please!
35
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,150
He's almost gone.
36
00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:44,190
Come on, Drew.
37
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,410
Don't give up.
38
00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:47,440
Drew Carey, you listen to me.
39
00:02:47,441 --> 00:02:50,859
You are not going to leave us. You're
going to open your eyes and come back to
40
00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,780
us this very moment because we love you.
41
00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:15,890
The rest of the world will go to the
place of the man.
42
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,800
I'm on my way to be born.
43
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,230
Oh, hey.
44
00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:09,870
It's nice to meet you.
45
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,110
Where are you going?
46
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,910
I am going up to heaven, and I couldn't
be happier.
47
00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,260
No more real life for me.
48
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,360
No more heartache, no more taking crap
at work.
49
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:24,140
Hey, good luck on that big ball of
suffering I call Earth.
50
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,020
They said all babies have unlimited
potential, and life is what you make of
51
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,340
gotta go. My brother's expecting you.
52
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,160
Really? What's my dad like, anyway?
53
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,440
Oh, you're gonna love him. He's great.
54
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,300
What's my mom like?
55
00:04:46,301 --> 00:04:49,539
You know what else you're gonna love?
56
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,590
Ham.
57
00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:53,560
Really? What's my mom like?
58
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:56,100
Uh, you know, the Beauty and the Beast?
59
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:57,300
She's like one of them.
60
00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,450
Which one?
61
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:02,320
Your dad's really great.
62
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,080
I don't want a mom
63
00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:09,989
Mimi's a little different, but I know
she's going to love you.
64
00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:13,229
She already started making a little
velvet jumpsuit with a big purple hat.
65
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,880
You're going to look like the world's
smallest pimp.
66
00:05:16,090 --> 00:05:17,140
What's a pimp?
67
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,850
Oh, that's kind of hard to explain.
68
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,690
Hey, let me hear you say this.
69
00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,230
Bitch, where's my money?
70
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,550
Bitch, where's my money?
71
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,610
That's funny coming out of a baby.
72
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:32,190
You think that's funny? Watch this. I'm
going back to heaven.
73
00:05:42,761 --> 00:05:45,139
Contractions are slowing.
74
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:47,310
It's like the baby doesn't want to come
out.
75
00:05:47,311 --> 00:05:54,059
Oh, no, you don't. You're not going to
start disobeying your mom now. You're
76
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,110
coming out pronto.
77
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:56,670
Foursets!
78
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,360
I told you, don't give her the
instruments.
79
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:34,890
Hey,
80
00:06:34,891 --> 00:06:38,439
come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come
on.
81
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,150
You're going to break their hearts if
you're not born.
82
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,239
Come on, sure, Mimi might be mean to
some people, but I'm sure she's going to
83
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,290
great to her own kid.
84
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,240
Yeah? Prove it.
85
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,059
How am I supposed to prove something
like that?
86
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:55,919
Well, since my body's about to pop out
and it needs a soul, why don't you go
87
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:56,970
down instead?
88
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,660
You can show me it'll be okay to be
Mimi's kid.
89
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,410
Well, I'm kind of on my way to heaven
right now.
90
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,640
Fine. I'll go up with you. It's karaoke
night.
91
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,820
Karaoke? I thought this was heaven.
92
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,820
All right. I'll do it.
93
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,490
I want to show you what great parents
you have.
94
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,880
Oh, man. I can't believe I'm doing this.
95
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,890
Oh, they better rinse me off pretty good
when I come out of there.
96
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,860
establish the hour.
97
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,140
Oh God, here he comes!
98
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,980
And then a very, very slow pan to the
cute nurse.
99
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,600
What's her story? What's she thinking?
100
00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:00,680
Just let me clean him up for you.
101
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:01,750
Well, hurry up.
102
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,560
He's trying to make little baby noises.
103
00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:47,959
Well, I guess this won't be so bad for a
couple hours. I mean, nobody loves me.
104
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,340
All I gotta do is eat and poop.
105
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:54,050
Mimi, we didn't discuss this. Do you
want to circumcise your baby?
106
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:23,660
I'm going to get a stuffed pig.
107
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,020
You know that little guy?
108
00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:28,939
They're going to take yet another
picture of me. You know why? Because she
109
00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:30,140
me. She cherishes me.
110
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,740
Isn't that a good mother?
111
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:33,590
I'll get it.
112
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,120
Baby, don't! Baby, don't!
113
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,490
Is he okay?
114
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:41,860
This could be about Drew.
115
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,330
He's fine.
116
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,640
Yeah. Okay, thanks.
117
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,770
That was Kate.
118
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,919
She said Drew could be in the coma
indefinitely, so they decided to take
119
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:54,970
home.
120
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,200
Well, that'll be the first vegetable in
that house.
121
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,710
Sorry, honey.
122
00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:05,459
They can do whatever they want with my
body. Because when I'm done with this,
123
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:06,900
I'm going straight to heaven.
124
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,610
What are you doing?
125
00:11:21,651 --> 00:11:26,019
breakfast for me. I'm not really a
breakfast person.
126
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:29,540
Why does he always fight this?
127
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:33,310
Never eat anything bigger than a head.
Haven't you ever heard that?
128
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,150
No, me neither.
129
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,470
Maybe he'd take it if you put a little
honey on your nipple.
130
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:43,010
Maybe he'd put a steak and a whore on
her nipple like Stumpfbite.
131
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:47,320
Take a drink! You take a drink!
132
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,280
Damn it, suckle me!
133
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,060
Maybe we should try again later.
134
00:12:01,101 --> 00:12:06,689
Forget about what you saw. We've done
some good things today.
135
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:07,950
Okay, so let's switch.
136
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,310
One, two, three, switch.
137
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,280
Damn, I'm going to be a baby my whole
life.
138
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:18,030
Maybe he has a temperature.
139
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,940
You get the thermometer and I'll open up
his diaper.
140
00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:01,190
Not a waitress. I work for the patient.
141
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,230
Huh. Okay.
142
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:04,710
Who wants beer?
143
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:12,470
Oh, the patient is thirsty, nurse bitch.
144
00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:20,410
Hey, how's Drew doing? He's up 300
bucks.
145
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,650
Sorry, no change.
146
00:13:24,651 --> 00:13:25,949
Did you bring the baby?
147
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,630
Yeah, maybe he'll be in in a minute.
148
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,310
How you doing, little brother?
149
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,250
Why is there an ace up Drew's sleeve?
150
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:37,990
Because we wanted him to win.
151
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,750
Beautiful lady with a beautiful baby.
152
00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:56,449
Would you guys watch the baby for a
second? I'd take him in there, but I
153
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,010
don't want him to catch the coma.
154
00:13:58,761 --> 00:14:03,309
you guys are here. Now listen to me very
carefully.
155
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,990
I'm trapped inside the body of a baby.
You have to help me out.
156
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,620
Listen,
157
00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:13,689
this is really important.
158
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:15,250
It's a metaphysical nightmare.
159
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:22,550
One of you people have to... Lewis,
160
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,370
look at my eyes.
161
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,810
Don't you see Drew Carey inside of here?
162
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:33,190
New baby smell.
163
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:40,300
I hope Drew comes out of his coma so you
can meet him.
164
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,250
Well, if he doesn't, we're going to tell
him what a great guy his uncle was.
165
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:48,099
Hey, stop talking about Drew like he's
dead. He's going to come out of that
166
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,770
soon, and we're all going to be down at
the Warsaw having a beer. You'll see.
167
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:53,510
Wow.
168
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,850
I didn't realize how much I missed you
guys.
169
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,080
Hey, does baby want a pretzel? No, no.
170
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,650
so much. I wouldn't want to live if you
weren't here.
171
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,580
Hey, what's going on?
172
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,600
I heard what my mom said. She really
loves me.
173
00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:26,440
Well, why don't you get back down there?
174
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,550
Well, okay.
175
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,270
It's too bad I'm not going to see you
again.
176
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,080
You would have been a great uncle.
177
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,170
Oh, thanks.
178
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,630
Hey, when I grow up, is there anything
you want me to tell your friends?
179
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,270
Yeah.
180
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,440
Tell them I might miss them.
181
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:45,960
And I wish I was there.
182
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:51,069
And tell him that the best times I ever
had with him was when we were just
183
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:52,330
hanging out having a beer.
184
00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,650
Hell, I'll tell him myself.
185
00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:03,250
I'm going down there with you.
186
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:09,030
Hey, if we're both up here, whose soul
is down on the baby?
187
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,550
Hey, little baby.
188
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,270
I hope I didn't scare you too much with
that pretzel.
189
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,930
I swear to God, I saw Drew's hand move.
Maybe he's coming back to us.
190
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,210
He's awake.
191
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,600
Drew, if you can hear us, say something.
192
00:17:15,339 --> 00:17:17,400
Get the catheter out of me.
193
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,200
Drew, I'm so happy you're back. You had
us all so scared.
194
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:25,920
How long was I out here?
195
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,420
Oh, quite a while.
196
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,180
It's the year 2183.
197
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:35,879
And I'm the great -grandson of Louis
Koniski, the world's first... emperor,
198
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,640
you, unfortunately, are my slave.
199
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,700
Kate, how long was I out? Simon's slave!
200
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:50,710
Oh.
201
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,500
Is that who I think it is?
202
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,260
True. Meet your little nephew.
203
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:57,270
Oh.
204
00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:58,630
We already met.
205
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,519
I was going up to heaven in a lazy boy
cloud, and he was going down in his
206
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:09,180
cloud. and we got to talking and my soul
went into his body.
207
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,000
I was your baby for a whole day.
208
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,880
Oh, this is so sweet.
209
00:18:13,881 --> 00:18:17,419
Bill, why don't you get some sleep? You
must be so tired after going up to
210
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,400
heaven and switching bodies with my son.
211
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:20,910
No, no, no.
212
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:24,040
No, he was never into my body.
213
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,700
Yeah, that would be so crazy.
214
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,680
Okay, bye -bye.
215
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,820
Bye, little fella.
216
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,350
We're going to have such good times
together.
217
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,420
Yeah, get some sleep. Okay, night
-night.
218
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:40,600
Uncle Crackers never sees the baby.
219
00:18:41,271 --> 00:18:46,679
And then me and the baby floated back to
Earth in our clouds.
220
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,959
Next thing you know, I woke up out here
with you guys.
221
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,040
Wow. That's pretty heavy, man.
222
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,700
That's an amazing story, Joe.
223
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,520
He left all you want.
224
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:06,790
But everything I told you is true, I'm
telling you. This thing changed my life.
225
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,440
Yeah. You know, after the accident, we
got your car fixed.
226
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,370
But if you're too scared to drive for a
while, we can all drive you around.
227
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:15,670
Yeah.
228
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,120
You guys sold my car, didn't you?
229
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:34,090
I can't let you go without getting this
off my chest.
230
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:40,870
And action.
231
00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:45,630
Drew, I can't let you go without getting
this off my chest. Remember that time?
232
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:49,080
Drew,
233
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:56,970
I can't let you go without getting this
off my chest.
234
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:09,430
Drew, I can't let you go without getting
this off my chest.
235
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,340
I cheated you out of $200.
236
00:20:11,341 --> 00:20:15,539
You remember that time that you gained
weight on the Dr. Von Diedelman
237
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:16,589
diet? What?
238
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:21,140
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